1
00:00:00,227 --> 00:00:02,813
Attention. I've been asked
to read this statement.
2
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:05,266
"Two months ago, Gina
Linetti was hit by a bus,
3
00:00:05,414 --> 00:00:08,641
"and the brightest star in
the cosmos was extinguished.
4
00:00:08,836 --> 00:00:11,671
"But today, like a
phoenix from the ashes,
5
00:00:11,739 --> 00:00:14,841
she rises to vanquish"...
6
00:00:14,909 --> 00:00:16,343
This is ten pages.
7
00:00:16,345 --> 00:00:17,410
I can't read it.
8
00:00:17,412 --> 00:00:18,512
Gina's doctor said it was okay
9
00:00:18,579 --> 00:00:19,846
for her to come back to work today.
10
00:00:19,914 --> 00:00:21,681
Here she is.
11
00:00:22,917 --> 00:00:24,384
Thank you.
12
00:00:24,452 --> 00:00:26,286
As much pain as I've been in,
13
00:00:26,354 --> 00:00:28,422
I can't imagine what it's
been like for you...
14
00:00:28,489 --> 00:00:31,858
living in a Gina-less
world for two months.
15
00:00:31,926 --> 00:00:34,227
I'll field some questions now. Anyone?
16
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:36,797
Uh, how long do you have
to wear the... the...
17
00:00:36,864 --> 00:00:39,266
Metal... the head holder...
18
00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:40,634
It's called a halo.
19
00:00:40,701 --> 00:00:42,903
The doctor said I have to
wear it for another week.
20
00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:44,404
It's drilled into my skull here.
21
00:00:44,472 --> 00:00:48,542
And, yes, I can still hear the
screws squeaking into the bone.
22
00:00:48,609 --> 00:00:49,876
So what was it like
getting hit by a bus?
23
00:00:49,944 --> 00:00:51,812
- It was awesome.
- Ah, I knew it.
24
00:00:51,879 --> 00:00:53,647
I always wanted to get hit by a bus.
25
00:00:53,714 --> 00:00:56,650
Yeah, I mean, I was legally
dead for two full minutes.
26
00:00:56,717 --> 00:00:58,418
- And I met God.
- Tight.
27
00:00:58,486 --> 00:01:00,654
- What does she look like?
- Ethnically ambiguous.
28
00:01:00,721 --> 00:01:01,822
You took two weeks off
29
00:01:01,889 --> 00:01:03,623
when Kourtney and Scott Disick broke up.
30
00:01:03,691 --> 00:01:05,459
Are you sure you're ready
to be back at work now?
31
00:01:05,526 --> 00:01:06,626
What are you saying, Terry?
32
00:01:06,694 --> 00:01:08,628
You think I can't handle being back yet?
33
00:01:08,696 --> 00:01:10,497
Watch this.
34
00:01:23,544 --> 00:01:25,377
Gina Linetti is back, baby!
35
00:01:25,379 --> 00:01:27,009
- sync and corrections by Mr. C -
- www.addic7ed.com -
36
00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:47,934
Sorry I'm late. I was on a
call with One Police Plaza.
37
00:01:48,002 --> 00:01:51,304
Apparently crime in Brooklyn
is down significantly.
38
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:52,873
Which means
39
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:54,841
they'll be permanently
closing one precinct.
40
00:01:54,909 --> 00:01:56,810
- What?
- We celebrated too soon.
41
00:01:56,878 --> 00:01:58,812
An auditor will arrive shortly.
42
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,947
He'll evaluate us on crime stats,
43
00:02:01,015 --> 00:02:03,316
physical plant, fiscal responsibility.
44
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,485
There are 22 other
precincts in Brooklyn,
45
00:02:05,553 --> 00:02:07,454
so we just don't want
to rate at the bottom.
46
00:02:07,522 --> 00:02:08,788
Are they gonna be looking in our desks?
47
00:02:08,856 --> 00:02:09,890
Also, unrelated...
48
00:02:09,957 --> 00:02:11,658
someone left a bunch
of swords in my desk.
49
00:02:11,726 --> 00:02:13,527
I have a similar question
about browser histories.
50
00:02:13,594 --> 00:02:15,462
- Just throw your computer away.
- Roger that.
51
00:02:15,530 --> 00:02:17,664
The auditor will start by
joining Peralta and Santiago
52
00:02:17,732 --> 00:02:19,299
on their gang stakeout because...
53
00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:21,067
They're America's dream couple.
54
00:02:21,135 --> 00:02:22,969
You need to calm down.
We're in a workplace.
55
00:02:23,037 --> 00:02:24,838
Because their case is a good example
56
00:02:24,906 --> 00:02:26,973
of the type of serious
crime that still exists
57
00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:28,308
in our neighborhood.
58
00:02:28,376 --> 00:02:29,809
So... Oh.
59
00:02:29,877 --> 00:02:31,711
Looks like the auditor is here.
60
00:02:31,779 --> 00:02:32,779
Isn't that Teddy...
61
00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:33,980
- Amy's ex-boyfriend?
- Yep.
62
00:02:34,048 --> 00:02:35,048
Jake, didn't you break them up?
63
00:02:35,049 --> 00:02:36,316
Yep.
64
00:02:36,384 --> 00:02:37,384
Amy, didn't you tell him to his face
65
00:02:37,451 --> 00:02:38,485
he was the most boring man alive?
66
00:02:38,553 --> 00:02:39,753
- Yep.
- This is gonna be awkward.
67
00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:40,887
- Yep.
- We had a good run.
68
00:02:40,955 --> 00:02:42,322
Let's not panic just yet.
69
00:02:42,390 --> 00:02:43,657
Maybe he doesn't remember
us ruining his life
70
00:02:43,724 --> 00:02:44,824
and stomping all over his heart.
71
00:02:44,892 --> 00:02:46,059
Hey, everyone.
72
00:02:46,127 --> 00:02:47,561
I'm Sergeant Wells.
73
00:02:47,628 --> 00:02:49,095
Jake, Amy, nice to see you.
74
00:02:49,163 --> 00:02:50,497
Teddy, nice to see you, too.
75
00:02:50,565 --> 00:02:52,032
Excited to have you
in the field with us.
76
00:02:52,099 --> 00:02:54,935
Good. I just hope I don't
bore you to death.
77
00:02:55,002 --> 00:02:56,670
Ah, what?
78
00:02:56,737 --> 00:02:58,838
Yeah. What's that? The
crime phone is ringing?
79
00:02:58,906 --> 00:03:00,006
We have to answer it. Come on, Amy.
80
00:03:00,074 --> 00:03:01,441
BRB. Okay.
81
00:03:01,509 --> 00:03:02,776
Why'd you have to say he was boring?
82
00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:03,977
Because he is boring.
83
00:03:04,045 --> 00:03:06,112
His favorite app on his
phone is "contacts."
84
00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:07,414
He's gonna shut this place down,
85
00:03:07,481 --> 00:03:08,949
and we're gonna get shipped
off to separate precincts.
86
00:03:09,016 --> 00:03:10,684
I don't think our relationship
can survive that.
87
00:03:10,751 --> 00:03:12,085
I mean, even if we don't work together,
88
00:03:12,153 --> 00:03:13,453
we can still be a couple.
89
00:03:13,521 --> 00:03:15,522
If I don't see you every day,
I will forget who you are.
90
00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:17,090
I'm like a goldfish.
91
00:03:17,158 --> 00:03:18,858
Standing in the briefing room...
92
00:03:18,926 --> 00:03:21,695
a space that is approximately
50 feet by 40 feet.
93
00:03:21,762 --> 00:03:24,631
Actually, you know what?
55 feet by 40 feet.
94
00:03:24,699 --> 00:03:27,968
No, 52 feet by 41 feet.
95
00:03:28,035 --> 00:03:30,136
I'll just look at the blueprints
at the City Planner's office.
96
00:03:30,204 --> 00:03:31,871
Hello, weekend plans.
97
00:03:31,939 --> 00:03:34,107
Sergeant Wells, have you
been to other precincts yet?
98
00:03:34,175 --> 00:03:35,542
How'd they do?
99
00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:37,043
Well, you know, everyone's
got their issues.
100
00:03:37,111 --> 00:03:38,411
That's too bad.
101
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,447
I want all my brothers in
the NYPD to do perfectly.
102
00:03:40,514 --> 00:03:42,148
The Seven-Four is corrupt.
You didn't hear it from me.
103
00:03:42,216 --> 00:03:44,384
You know what? We're just
looking to eliminate waste.
104
00:03:44,452 --> 00:03:46,553
I assure you, you'll
find zero waste here.
105
00:03:46,621 --> 00:03:47,988
Really? Because I did notice
106
00:03:48,055 --> 00:03:49,956
during my preliminary examination
107
00:03:50,024 --> 00:03:52,959
that you recently purchased
a $21,000 copy machine?
108
00:03:53,027 --> 00:03:56,930
Well, that machine saves
money in terms of man-hours.
109
00:03:56,998 --> 00:03:58,598
Uh, if you excuse me, Sergeant Wells,
110
00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:00,000
we need to go to the BRB.
111
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,569
It's BRB time. We're BRB-ing.
112
00:04:02,637 --> 00:04:03,970
- Make space.
- You make space!
113
00:04:04,038 --> 00:04:05,739
This closet is for people
who are freaking out.
114
00:04:05,806 --> 00:04:07,073
Oh, I'm fully freaking out.
115
00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:09,843
I just experimented with an
unfamiliar acronym in public.
116
00:04:09,910 --> 00:04:11,911
- BRB... what does it even mean?
- Be right back.
117
00:04:11,979 --> 00:04:13,680
It has the same number of
syllables as the acronym.
118
00:04:13,748 --> 00:04:15,015
What's the point?
119
00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:16,516
Teddy knows about the
fancy Japanese copier
120
00:04:16,584 --> 00:04:17,784
that C.J. bought...
121
00:04:17,852 --> 00:04:19,219
the one that broke the
first time we used it.
122
00:04:24,759 --> 00:04:26,092
Is it supposed to do that?
123
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,194
It was not supposed to do that.
124
00:04:28,262 --> 00:04:30,096
Is this where people are freaking out?
125
00:04:30,164 --> 00:04:31,431
Because we are freaking out.
126
00:04:31,499 --> 00:04:32,966
Teddy dinged the One-Five
for having roaches.
127
00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:34,501
So what? We don't have roaches.
128
00:04:34,568 --> 00:04:35,635
Our rats ate all of them.
129
00:04:35,703 --> 00:04:36,770
That's the problem. We have rats.
130
00:04:36,837 --> 00:04:38,004
Right, right, right,
right, that's worse.
131
00:04:38,006 --> 00:04:39,506
Oh, God, they're gonna
shut this precinct down
132
00:04:39,573 --> 00:04:40,774
Riand separate me and Jake.
that's worse.
133
00:04:40,841 --> 00:04:42,242
Our friendship is over.
134
00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,010
If he doesn't see my face every
day, he'll forget who I am.
135
00:04:44,078 --> 00:04:45,945
He's like a goldfish.
136
00:04:46,013 --> 00:04:47,180
This is all your fault.
137
00:04:47,248 --> 00:04:48,848
You just had to sleep
with Teddy, didn't you?
138
00:04:48,916 --> 00:04:50,050
You couldn't keep it in your pants.
139
00:04:50,117 --> 00:04:51,618
- Come on, Charles.
- He's right, Santiago.
140
00:04:51,686 --> 00:04:53,453
Your libido has endangered us all.
141
00:04:53,521 --> 00:04:54,988
Excuse me, guys, coming in.
142
00:04:55,056 --> 00:04:57,023
Wait. Gina, you sure you can fit in?
143
00:04:57,091 --> 00:05:00,060
I'm sorry. Because of my injury,
I can no longer fit in?
144
00:05:00,127 --> 00:05:00,960
No, I meant physically.
145
00:05:01,028 --> 00:05:02,262
I'll have you know,
146
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:04,164
I am physically as strong
as I've ever been...
147
00:05:04,231 --> 00:05:05,865
stronger even.
148
00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:08,968
I'm Gina Linetti, and I
can do anything, okay?
149
00:05:09,036 --> 00:05:11,171
Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
150
00:05:12,773 --> 00:05:14,140
Oh, yeah, this is too crowded.
151
00:05:14,208 --> 00:05:16,242
Shouldn't have wasted my
speech on this moment.
152
00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:17,510
To the evidence room.
153
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:18,611
You two need to figure out
154
00:05:18,679 --> 00:05:19,879
how to patch things up with Teddy.
155
00:05:19,947 --> 00:05:21,514
He's still upset that
I called him boring.
156
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:22,982
We just have to pretend
that he's interesting.
157
00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:24,651
I got pretty good at it
while we were dating.
158
00:05:24,719 --> 00:05:26,019
We just have to smile and nod
159
00:05:26,087 --> 00:05:28,021
and agree with whatever he said last.
160
00:05:28,089 --> 00:05:29,589
Great. Hey, wait a minute.
161
00:05:29,657 --> 00:05:31,124
I'm still not sure
162
00:05:31,192 --> 00:05:32,692
who the second-best "Die Hard"
villain is, though, you know?
163
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,160
Probably Jeremy Irons.
164
00:05:34,228 --> 00:05:36,162
But maybe it's Timothy Olyphant,
or it could be William Atherton.
165
00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:37,864
- Definitely the last one.
- Right?
166
00:05:37,932 --> 00:05:39,666
No, I really think
it's William Atherton.
167
00:05:39,734 --> 00:05:41,101
Okay.
168
00:05:41,168 --> 00:05:42,936
We have to engage him on
topics that he cares about.
169
00:05:43,003 --> 00:05:45,872
Pilsners... he loves
talking about pilsners.
170
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:48,508
Oh, my God. Just saying
the word gives me PTSD.
171
00:05:48,576 --> 00:05:49,576
Pilsner-TSD.
172
00:05:49,577 --> 00:05:50,777
- Good one.
- Thanks.
173
00:05:50,845 --> 00:05:51,845
Pull yourself together
174
00:05:51,912 --> 00:05:53,113
and go out there and make Teddy feel
175
00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:54,147
like he's the most
interesting man on Earth.
176
00:05:54,149 --> 00:05:56,015
I want him to think he's Andy Borowitz
177
00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:57,417
likwhen this is all done.
sting manOn it. rth.
178
00:05:57,485 --> 00:06:00,019
We'll go there and make him feel
like whoever that person is.
179
00:06:00,087 --> 00:06:01,521
Let's go.
180
00:06:01,589 --> 00:06:04,524
Okay, now what we need to do
is fix that infernal copier.
181
00:06:04,592 --> 00:06:06,059
Jeffords, you did a
year abroad in Tokyo.
182
00:06:06,127 --> 00:06:08,695
Maybe you can figure out the manual.
It's in Japanese.
183
00:06:08,763 --> 00:06:11,030
I can try, but the only thing
I really remember how to say
184
00:06:11,098 --> 00:06:13,600
is, "Do you have a bigger
door I can enter through?"
185
00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:14,868
Bring me solutions, not problems.
186
00:06:14,935 --> 00:06:16,035
Now, what do we do about the rats?
187
00:06:16,103 --> 00:06:17,537
Well, lucky for us,
188
00:06:17,605 --> 00:06:19,906
I have recently come into
a lot of wolf urine.
189
00:06:19,974 --> 00:06:21,374
That's lucky for us how?
190
00:06:21,442 --> 00:06:23,710
It creates a scent impression
that there are predators nearby.
191
00:06:23,778 --> 00:06:25,879
I've been dousing
Nikolaj's shoes with it
192
00:06:25,946 --> 00:06:27,113
to scare off bullies at his preschool.
193
00:06:27,181 --> 00:06:29,048
- Did it work?
- No, now they call him pee boy.
194
00:06:29,116 --> 00:06:30,950
He's much worse off.
195
00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:33,720
But wolf urine definitely
scares off rats.
196
00:06:33,788 --> 00:06:35,889
We can use it to herd
them toward the traps.
197
00:06:35,956 --> 00:06:37,657
What about me? Like, what should I do?
198
00:06:37,725 --> 00:06:39,759
I just thought maybe you
could take it easy.
199
00:06:39,827 --> 00:06:41,161
- It's your first day and...
- I'll have you know,
200
00:06:41,228 --> 00:06:44,063
I am as strong physically
as I have ever been...
201
00:06:44,131 --> 00:06:45,832
- stronger even.
- You already did this.
202
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,734
Yeah, I have short-term amnesia.
203
00:06:47,802 --> 00:06:49,202
I got hit by a bus.
204
00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:52,005
But don't worry. I am as strong
physically as I have ever been...
205
00:06:52,072 --> 00:06:53,072
stronger even.
206
00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:54,340
Fine. You can help me with the copier.
207
00:06:56,143 --> 00:07:00,013
Detectives have chosen
an adequate location
208
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,181
for their stakeout.
209
00:07:01,248 --> 00:07:02,916
Teddy, how's it going, my man?
210
00:07:02,983 --> 00:07:04,651
Nice to see you. I'm glad we get
to spend this time together.
211
00:07:04,718 --> 00:07:06,019
- I haven't seen you since...
- You broke me and Amy up.
212
00:07:06,086 --> 00:07:07,353
Maybe. Probably not.
213
00:07:07,421 --> 00:07:09,289
Who can say when people last saw people?
214
00:07:09,356 --> 00:07:12,926
Anyway, that's the HQ for
the 8th Street Killas.
215
00:07:12,993 --> 00:07:15,195
We think they're meeting up
with leaders of another gang
216
00:07:15,262 --> 00:07:17,096
to possibly merge organizations.
217
00:07:17,164 --> 00:07:18,298
Detectives demonstrate
218
00:07:18,365 --> 00:07:19,933
a passable knowledge of their operation.
219
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,602
Cool. So, hey, we might
be here for a while.
220
00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:25,104
- Can I offer you a beverage?
- Ooh.
221
00:07:25,172 --> 00:07:26,773
Diet ginger ale... that is my favorite.
222
00:07:26,841 --> 00:07:29,108
Actually, I shouldn't.
It'll make me all hyper.
223
00:07:29,176 --> 00:07:31,778
Suit yourself. Too bad
we're on the job, right?
224
00:07:31,846 --> 00:07:33,379
Could've stocked that
thing with pilsners.
225
00:07:33,447 --> 00:07:35,014
- You like pilsners?
- Are you kidding me?
226
00:07:35,082 --> 00:07:36,316
I kills for the pils.
227
00:07:36,383 --> 00:07:38,117
I'm a total pils-nerd.
228
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,692
What's your poison...
German or Bohemian?
229
00:07:45,759 --> 00:07:47,961
- The last one that you said.
- Good choice.
230
00:07:48,028 --> 00:07:49,829
The last one always is.
Wow. This is fun.
231
00:07:49,897 --> 00:07:52,365
I could talk with you
about pilsners all day.
232
00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:53,433
Oh, let's do it.
233
00:07:53,434 --> 00:07:55,068
Of the Bohemians, what's your fave?
234
00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:58,137
Scharfen... grelderbrau.
235
00:07:58,205 --> 00:07:59,873
It's new. Millennials love it.
236
00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:01,107
Cool. Let me make note of that.
237
00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:04,978
Just caught Detectives S
and P in a bald-faced lie.
238
00:08:05,045 --> 00:08:06,713
You don't like pilsners.
You hate pilsners.
239
00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:08,715
You think they're boring, and
you still think I'm boring.
240
00:08:08,782 --> 00:08:10,383
No. No lie.
241
00:08:10,665 --> 00:08:12,365
Detectives S and P didn't lie.
242
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,235
Detectives S and P no lie.
243
00:08:15,802 --> 00:08:18,095
Sargent, please tell me
this malfunctioning copier
244
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:19,255
isn't gonna sink our precinct.
245
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:20,738
I figured out how to turn it on,
246
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:23,475
but the screen just shows
a cartoon turtle sobbing.
247
00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:24,776
Perhaps it's a paper jam.
248
00:08:24,844 --> 00:08:26,445
And what about when the
little sushi roll comes out
249
00:08:26,512 --> 00:08:27,979
and cuts the turtle's head off?
250
00:08:28,047 --> 00:08:29,314
- Toner issue.
- Why?
251
00:08:29,382 --> 00:08:31,116
Anyway, I started taking it apart,
252
00:08:31,184 --> 00:08:34,152
but it's been a slow
process for some reason.
253
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:36,121
Hey, Captain, I'm glad
you're here to see this.
254
00:08:36,189 --> 00:08:37,422
I'm just about to drink my tea.
255
00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:39,191
Terry.
256
00:08:46,599 --> 00:08:48,500
Can't even tell I was hit by a bus.
257
00:08:48,568 --> 00:08:50,469
That's how independent I am.
258
00:08:50,536 --> 00:08:52,104
Well, perhaps Boyle and Diaz
259
00:08:52,171 --> 00:08:54,005
have made more progress with the rats.
260
00:08:54,073 --> 00:08:55,340
We've made absolutely no progress.
261
00:08:55,408 --> 00:08:56,675
It took forever to bait the traps
262
00:08:56,743 --> 00:08:58,543
because Scully kept eating the
peanut butter out of them.
263
00:08:58,611 --> 00:09:00,545
You can't prove it was me, Rosa.
264
00:09:00,613 --> 00:09:01,847
Now we're gonna use the wolf urine
265
00:09:01,914 --> 00:09:04,015
to flush the rats out of the
walls and into our traps.
266
00:09:04,083 --> 00:09:06,618
That's where I come in. I'm
going up in the ceiling.
267
00:09:06,686 --> 00:09:08,387
- Why are you dressed like that?
- Mobility.
268
00:09:08,454 --> 00:09:09,955
It's a good thing I still have
269
00:09:10,022 --> 00:09:11,490
my sexy-cat costume from Halloween.
270
00:09:11,557 --> 00:09:12,591
I really don't think
271
00:09:12,658 --> 00:09:13,892
you were the target
audience for that item.
272
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,994
There is nothing gendered
about a sexy cat.
273
00:09:16,062 --> 00:09:19,164
Now, please hand me that big
jug wolf pee I rub on my kid.
274
00:09:19,232 --> 00:09:22,000
Okay, Teddy, let's not evaluate
rashly here, all right?
275
00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:23,068
It's a misunderstanding.
276
00:09:23,069 --> 00:09:24,536
We're not saying pilsners are boring.
277
00:09:24,604 --> 00:09:26,405
We're saying that we are too boring
278
00:09:26,472 --> 00:09:28,240
to appreciate them properly...
279
00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:30,475
- is what I'm going with.
- Jake, I agree with you.
280
00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:32,344
Pilsners are boring. That's why
I don't drink them anymore.
281
00:09:32,412 --> 00:09:34,012
- Say what now?
- Amy was right.
282
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,914
When we were going
together, I was boring.
283
00:09:35,982 --> 00:09:37,382
It took our breakup for
me to realize that.
284
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,351
So you're not still mad at me?
285
00:09:39,419 --> 00:09:41,420
No, no, no, you changed me.
I found my wild side.
286
00:09:41,487 --> 00:09:43,255
My girlfriend and I do 5Ks now.
287
00:09:43,322 --> 00:09:45,424
We took a two-week trip
to San Diego last year.
288
00:09:45,491 --> 00:09:47,426
The energy of that place is electric.
289
00:09:47,493 --> 00:09:49,561
But back at the precinct, you said,
290
00:09:49,629 --> 00:09:51,363
"I hope I don't bore you to death."
291
00:09:51,431 --> 00:09:53,665
That was a joke.
292
00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:55,934
Humor is the tool of the interesting.
293
00:09:56,002 --> 00:09:58,437
Right. A tool that you
have clearly mastered.
294
00:09:58,504 --> 00:10:00,405
Ooh, get this... my lady turned me on
295
00:10:00,473 --> 00:10:02,407
to something called
adult coloring books,
296
00:10:02,475 --> 00:10:04,576
which we do at... wait for it...
297
00:10:04,644 --> 00:10:06,344
Jazz brunches. What?
298
00:10:06,412 --> 00:10:09,414
Aha. Wow. It's like brunch
is crazy enough on its own,
299
00:10:09,482 --> 00:10:11,082
then you throw jazz in the mix.
300
00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:13,418
it's like, "Why are we even doing this?"
301
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:19,424
Oh, my God, that is...
302
00:10:19,492 --> 00:10:21,593
This is fun. I have not laughed
this much in a long time.
303
00:10:21,661 --> 00:10:22,928
Twice.
304
00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:24,529
Reminder... invite Jake and
Amy to jazz brunch tomorrow.
305
00:10:24,597 --> 00:10:26,364
Uh, reminder... we're in.
306
00:10:26,432 --> 00:10:27,933
Good. But I am actually
gonna email you the invite,
307
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,468
if you could just RSVP to that.
308
00:10:29,535 --> 00:10:31,269
I'd feel better if everyone
had it on their calendars.
309
00:10:31,337 --> 00:10:32,637
Copy that. We all have calendars.
310
00:10:32,705 --> 00:10:34,639
So that'll work out great,
'cause we all have one.
311
00:10:34,707 --> 00:10:36,441
How's it going with the copier?
312
00:10:36,509 --> 00:10:37,409
Not great.
313
00:10:37,477 --> 00:10:39,277
I got through to customer service,
314
00:10:39,345 --> 00:10:41,413
but I really don't remember
that much Japanese.
315
00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:46,451
Hey, Captain. Update
on the rat situation.
316
00:10:46,519 --> 00:10:47,586
Wolf pee's in place,
317
00:10:47,653 --> 00:10:48,920
and the traps are set
in the evidence room.
318
00:10:48,988 --> 00:10:50,655
I thought we were luring
them into the break room.
319
00:10:50,723 --> 00:10:52,557
No, Gina needed it for meditation.
320
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:56,228
You are strong. You are wise.
321
00:10:56,295 --> 00:11:00,499
You will have your revenge
on all New York City buses.
322
00:11:00,566 --> 00:11:02,000
- Everything else is good?
- Not quite.
323
00:11:02,068 --> 00:11:03,268
We have a Charles situation.
324
00:11:03,336 --> 00:11:04,436
Well, how stuck are you, Boyle?
325
00:11:04,504 --> 00:11:05,904
Completely.
326
00:11:05,972 --> 00:11:08,440
My tail seems to have gotten
knotted around a sprinkler.
327
00:11:08,508 --> 00:11:09,508
I think I can pull it.
328
00:11:09,575 --> 00:11:10,775
No, that might break the pipe.
329
00:11:10,843 --> 00:11:12,477
The last thing we need is a flood.
330
00:11:12,545 --> 00:11:14,479
That's okay. I'm sure you'll
have me down in no time.
331
00:11:14,547 --> 00:11:16,314
Incorrect. That would make
a hole in the ceiling.
332
00:11:16,382 --> 00:11:17,482
You're there till Monday.
333
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:18,683
We'll bring you some food in a bucket.
334
00:11:18,751 --> 00:11:20,318
Sir, I really think...
335
00:11:20,386 --> 00:11:21,453
He'll be fine.
336
00:11:21,521 --> 00:11:23,021
Guava juice, mango juice,
337
00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:24,189
orange juice, of course,
338
00:11:24,257 --> 00:11:27,192
grapefruit juice, and cranberry juice.
339
00:11:27,260 --> 00:11:29,461
Jazz brunch sounds insane.
340
00:11:29,529 --> 00:11:32,297
But should we talk about
how efficient and well run
341
00:11:32,365 --> 00:11:33,465
the Nine-Nine is for a while?
342
00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:34,699
We got plenty of time for that.
343
00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:35,767
I'm gonna hit the little boys' room.
344
00:11:35,801 --> 00:11:36,801
When I get back, remind me to tell you
345
00:11:36,836 --> 00:11:38,169
all about the omelet-bar station.
346
00:11:38,237 --> 00:11:39,337
- We will.
- You bet.
347
00:11:39,405 --> 00:11:40,772
Spoiler alert...
348
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,307
two kinds of bell pepper.
349
00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:45,510
Oh, my God, he's so boring.
350
00:11:45,578 --> 00:11:47,379
- He's so boring.
- Most boring man in America.
351
00:11:47,446 --> 00:11:49,147
And that's him trying to be interesting.
352
00:11:49,215 --> 00:11:50,448
That is Spring Break Teddy.
353
00:11:50,516 --> 00:11:52,150
How did you ever date him?
354
00:11:52,218 --> 00:11:54,486
Oh, no, he has a really
big wiener, doesn't he?
355
00:11:54,554 --> 00:11:56,454
Wait. Don't tell me if that's
true, unless it's not.
356
00:11:56,522 --> 00:11:58,456
No, but then if you don't say
anything, I'll know that it is.
357
00:11:58,524 --> 00:12:00,492
Oh, why aren't you saying
anything about his wiener, Amy?
358
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:01,626
- Jake.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
359
00:12:01,694 --> 00:12:03,161
I don't want to hear
about your ex's wiener.
360
00:12:03,229 --> 00:12:04,496
Just... you're not
making me feel better.
361
00:12:04,564 --> 00:12:07,165
- Why would you do this to me?
- Jake, stop spiraling.
362
00:12:07,233 --> 00:12:08,833
Every time you shake me, I
see it flopping around.
363
00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:11,169
Stop. Oh, look, there's our gang leader.
364
00:12:11,237 --> 00:12:13,672
Seriously?
365
00:12:14,774 --> 00:12:17,576
Wow. Perfect timing,
successful stakeout.
366
00:12:17,643 --> 00:12:19,377
There's no way that
Sergeant Boring Big Wiener
367
00:12:19,445 --> 00:12:20,712
will shut us down now.
368
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:23,081
- Shh. I think I hear Teddy.
- You didn't answer.
369
00:12:23,149 --> 00:12:24,516
Forgot the old phonester.
370
00:12:24,584 --> 00:12:26,418
I like to go through my
contacts while I go pee.
371
00:12:26,485 --> 00:12:28,353
So you only need to use one hand...
that's great.
372
00:12:28,421 --> 00:12:30,155
Oh, look, it was still recording.
373
00:12:30,222 --> 00:12:31,323
Like, recording recording?
374
00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:32,524
Yeah.
375
00:12:32,592 --> 00:12:35,393
- Oh, this is bad.
- What? What's wrong?
376
00:12:35,461 --> 00:12:36,761
Oh, my God. It was
recording the whole time.
377
00:12:36,829 --> 00:12:37,996
We said all that bad stuff.
378
00:12:38,064 --> 00:12:40,098
Sorry. I was so preoccupied
with the wiener stuff.
379
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:41,533
Oh, this is bad.
380
00:12:41,601 --> 00:12:43,336
But while I have you, just stop me.
381
00:12:46,149 --> 00:12:48,163
I know accepting Teddy's
jazz-brunch invite
382
00:12:48,165 --> 00:12:49,232
was the only way to get his phone back
383
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:50,300
and save the Nine-Nine,
384
00:12:50,301 --> 00:12:52,268
but this place is literally hell.
385
00:12:55,139 --> 00:12:56,439
She's doing jazz about brunch.
386
00:12:56,507 --> 00:12:58,074
Maybe it's not too late
to get out of here.
387
00:12:58,142 --> 00:12:59,943
We could start a new
life in the country,
388
00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:01,277
maybe open a small bookstore.
389
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,079
How dare you tempt me
with a small bookstore?
390
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:05,115
- We need to focus.
- Okay.
391
00:13:05,182 --> 00:13:06,349
Look, Teddy's over there.
392
00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:08,284
Oh, and he's in fun, casual wear.
393
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:10,086
His phone is out on the
table, like it always is,
394
00:13:10,154 --> 00:13:12,622
because he fears the radiation
will affect his testicles.
395
00:13:12,690 --> 00:13:14,190
Which are connected to
his average-sized...
396
00:13:14,258 --> 00:13:15,525
- Jake.
- Right. It's misshapen.
397
00:13:15,593 --> 00:13:16,693
That's all that matters.
398
00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:18,094
All right, here's the plan...
We stage a fight.
399
00:13:18,162 --> 00:13:20,130
It escalates, and I flip over
the table in dramatic fashion.
400
00:13:20,197 --> 00:13:21,264
Do we need the table flip?
401
00:13:21,332 --> 00:13:23,433
Amy, when the opportunity
presents itself
402
00:13:23,501 --> 00:13:26,102
to flip-a da table, uh,
you flip-a da table.
403
00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:27,437
And in the chaos, you grab his phone,
404
00:13:27,505 --> 00:13:29,272
delete the recording, and we're golden.
405
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:32,108
Perfect. All right, let's
stage a fake fight.
406
00:13:32,176 --> 00:13:33,510
This'll be fun, right?
407
00:13:33,577 --> 00:13:35,211
Pretending like we have things
to be mad at each other about.
408
00:13:35,279 --> 00:13:37,113
Jake's chronic tardiness,
his slobbiness,
409
00:13:37,181 --> 00:13:38,948
and the fact that he
wasted half the morning
410
00:13:39,016 --> 00:13:40,250
deciding what sneakers to wear...
411
00:13:40,317 --> 00:13:42,218
those are just some of
the reasons we're late.
412
00:13:42,286 --> 00:13:43,887
No one cares about your sneakers, Jake.
413
00:13:43,954 --> 00:13:45,055
Yeah, very convincing.
414
00:13:45,122 --> 00:13:46,256
We're just glad you guys made it.
415
00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:47,457
This is Rachel, my girlfriend.
416
00:13:47,525 --> 00:13:48,525
Hi.
417
00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,094
So Teddy said you guys had such a blast
418
00:13:51,162 --> 00:13:53,096
- at the stakeout.
- Yes, it was incredible.
419
00:13:53,164 --> 00:13:55,131
Can I really quickly just say
the real reason we were late
420
00:13:55,199 --> 00:13:56,299
was that Amy insisted
421
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:57,700
on brushing her teeth for 30 minutes?
422
00:13:57,768 --> 00:14:00,103
Two minutes or one minute, 58
seconds longer than you did.
423
00:14:00,171 --> 00:14:02,072
Anyway, can we please
st talk to our friends?
424
00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:03,973
- Wow. Fine.
- Fine.
425
00:14:04,041 --> 00:14:05,108
- So, Rachel...
- Hmm?
426
00:14:05,176 --> 00:14:07,610
- How did you guys meet?
- Oh.
427
00:14:07,678 --> 00:14:09,279
Such a wild story.
428
00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:11,948
So I was on an elevator...
429
00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:14,684
and so was Teddy.
430
00:14:14,752 --> 00:14:17,420
- Oh, that's the whole story.
- I think it's romantic.
431
00:14:17,488 --> 00:14:20,090
I remember when our relationship
had magic moments like that
432
00:14:20,157 --> 00:14:21,191
before it went stale.
433
00:14:21,258 --> 00:14:22,459
- Stale?
- Mm.
434
00:14:22,526 --> 00:14:24,961
Okay, you want some action, Jackson?
435
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:27,464
Well, how about I make a scene?
436
00:14:27,531 --> 00:14:28,932
Whoa.
437
00:14:28,999 --> 00:14:31,968
- What are you doing?
- Flip-a-ing de table.
438
00:14:33,504 --> 00:14:35,271
It's bolted down. Oh, what a shock.
439
00:14:35,339 --> 00:14:36,973
You tried something and failed.
440
00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:38,274
Okay, you know what? That's it.
441
00:14:38,342 --> 00:14:40,176
I'm gonna slide it right off!
442
00:14:41,612 --> 00:14:43,446
I am so sorry. I got carried away.
443
00:14:43,514 --> 00:14:45,215
I will now clean this
up entirely by myself.
444
00:14:45,282 --> 00:14:47,617
- No...
- No, please keep your eyes
445
00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:50,987
on me as I make this sincere apology.
446
00:14:51,055 --> 00:14:53,456
I am sorry.
447
00:14:53,524 --> 00:14:56,126
It's okay. Something crazy
always happens at jazz brunch.
448
00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:57,293
It's the Wild West.
449
00:14:57,361 --> 00:14:59,629
Oh, man, Teddy, look what happened.
450
00:14:59,697 --> 00:15:02,132
Your phone landed directly
in this glass of OJ.
451
00:15:02,199 --> 00:15:04,200
That seems almost impossible.
452
00:15:04,268 --> 00:15:05,502
"Almost" being the key word,
453
00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:07,137
but it happened for real,
and we all know it.
454
00:15:07,204 --> 00:15:08,304
There you go.
455
00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:10,206
That's it. You've gone too far.
456
00:15:10,274 --> 00:15:12,041
I am storming off now.
457
00:15:12,109 --> 00:15:15,545
No, you've gone too far,
and I'm storming off now!
458
00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:19,249
There's something I'd like
to show you, Captain.
459
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,156
Terry... crushed... it.
460
00:15:26,223 --> 00:15:27,724
It works!
461
00:15:27,791 --> 00:15:30,226
I've never been more proud of
you for anything in your life.
462
00:15:30,294 --> 00:15:32,729
I mean, I've solved a
lot of cases for you.
463
00:15:32,796 --> 00:15:33,997
And yet crime has continued.
464
00:15:34,064 --> 00:15:35,398
I think we've done it, Captain.
465
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:37,367
Just heard the traps go off.
Want to come check with us?
466
00:15:37,434 --> 00:15:39,068
- Of course. How's Boyle doing?
- He's fine.
467
00:15:39,136 --> 00:15:41,204
You know how quickly he
submits to his environment.
468
00:15:41,272 --> 00:15:43,206
Where are the rats?
469
00:15:43,274 --> 00:15:45,542
There's blood everywhere.
This is a horror scene.
470
00:15:45,609 --> 00:15:47,277
They must've chewed themselves free.
471
00:15:47,344 --> 00:15:48,511
Detective Diaz, what was in that box?
472
00:15:48,579 --> 00:15:50,580
It's from a closed case in 1986,
473
00:15:50,648 --> 00:15:52,782
when they busted the guy that
dealt to the New York Mets.
474
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:55,018
My God, those rats have
eaten the purest cocaine
475
00:15:55,085 --> 00:15:56,252
in the history of this city.
476
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,054
They know no fear or pain.
477
00:15:58,122 --> 00:16:00,356
And look! They're back in the walls.
478
00:16:00,424 --> 00:16:02,192
Boyle!
479
00:16:02,259 --> 00:16:04,460
Ah! The rats chewed through
the sprinkler pipe.
480
00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:06,196
They're coked up. Get out of there.
481
00:16:06,263 --> 00:16:07,263
They think I'm a cat.
482
00:16:07,264 --> 00:16:09,299
Boyle, be careful of the ceiling.
483
00:16:09,366 --> 00:16:10,466
Submit to them!
484
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:11,768
Tell Jake I never panicked.
485
00:16:11,835 --> 00:16:13,169
Aah!
486
00:16:15,873 --> 00:16:17,774
- My copier!
- My precinct!
487
00:16:17,841 --> 00:16:19,275
Charles!
488
00:16:19,343 --> 00:16:20,610
Charles?
489
00:16:20,678 --> 00:16:23,446
Aah! They survived the fall!
490
00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:24,681
Run!
491
00:16:24,748 --> 00:16:27,150
That was fun. We're really
good at fake fighting.
492
00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:28,218
And you were amazing at coming up
493
00:16:28,219 --> 00:16:29,452
with all that stuff to be mad about.
494
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,454
Yep, totally, I just said all that stuff
495
00:16:31,522 --> 00:16:33,456
to save the precinct, and that's all.
496
00:16:33,524 --> 00:16:36,392
Oh, my God. You don't actually
care about my sneakers.
497
00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:37,460
No!
498
00:16:37,528 --> 00:16:39,629
I care about them deeply.
499
00:16:39,697 --> 00:16:41,231
They're all so different.
500
00:16:41,298 --> 00:16:42,565
Okay.
501
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:45,134
Hey, guys, it's Teddy from jazz brunch.
502
00:16:45,202 --> 00:16:46,202
Hey, Teddy.
503
00:16:46,203 --> 00:16:47,203
It's Teddy from jazz brunch.
504
00:16:47,204 --> 00:16:48,304
- Why is he here?
- I don't know.
505
00:16:48,372 --> 00:16:49,672
But the fake fight's back on.
506
00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:53,243
So shut it, you bigmouthed bitch
and your stupid sneakers!
507
00:16:53,310 --> 00:16:55,078
If you don't like my shoes,
you can just tell me.
508
00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:57,146
Hi. Can I talk to you
guys about something?
509
00:16:57,214 --> 00:16:58,314
Actually, Teddy, this
is not a good time.
510
00:16:58,382 --> 00:16:59,682
We're still having a pretty big fight.
511
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:02,252
Well, I think what I'm about
to say may solve things.
512
00:17:02,319 --> 00:17:03,786
y, I'm still in love with you. What?
513
00:17:03,854 --> 00:17:04,854
- What?
- What?
514
00:17:04,855 --> 00:17:05,855
Uh-oh.
515
00:17:13,517 --> 00:17:15,564
Okay, okay, everybody just calm down
516
00:17:15,614 --> 00:17:16,915
and take a deep breath.
517
00:17:18,617 --> 00:17:19,884
What the hell is going on, man?
518
00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,218
Yeah, what the hell is going on?
519
00:17:21,286 --> 00:17:22,920
- You've got a girlfriend.
- I know.
520
00:17:22,988 --> 00:17:24,522
- And she's fine.
- Thanks.
521
00:17:24,589 --> 00:17:25,890
Sorry. I was really planning
522
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,165
on you being in the cab during this.
523
00:17:27,228 --> 00:17:28,395
Okay, that wouldn't make it better.
524
00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:29,263
- No.
- Amy, I'm just...
525
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:30,397
I'm not over you yet,
526
00:17:30,465 --> 00:17:32,065
and I would've never said anything,
527
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:33,901
because I thought you
and Jake were happy,
528
00:17:33,968 --> 00:17:35,269
but after seeing you at jazz brunch,
529
00:17:35,336 --> 00:17:37,137
- I think I might've been wrong.
- Don't read into that.
530
00:17:37,205 --> 00:17:39,273
That was a freak argument.
We are very happy.
531
00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:40,974
Amy, we have all the same interests.
532
00:17:41,042 --> 00:17:42,075
We have so much chemistry.
533
00:17:42,143 --> 00:17:43,377
When we're together,
534
00:17:43,444 --> 00:17:45,279
it's like, no matter where
we are, it's San Diego.
535
00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:47,180
I feel compelled to tell you
that San Diego's terrible.
536
00:17:47,248 --> 00:17:48,448
I'm gonna lay it all on the line.
537
00:17:48,516 --> 00:17:50,250
Amy Santiago...
538
00:17:50,318 --> 00:17:52,352
will you marry me?
539
00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:53,587
- What?
- What?
540
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:54,821
Okay, really, could you stay in the cab?
541
00:17:54,889 --> 00:17:56,089
I'm sorry. I'll be right there.
I promise.
542
00:17:56,157 --> 00:17:57,324
maybe I won't. What's your answer?
543
00:17:57,392 --> 00:17:59,326
Teddy, I don't want to be with you.
544
00:17:59,394 --> 00:18:01,828
But you want to be with him? You
guys have nothing in common.
545
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:04,164
Oh, yeah? Tell that to
William Atherton...
546
00:18:04,232 --> 00:18:05,465
the man we both consider to be
547
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:07,167
the second-best "Die Hard" villain.
548
00:18:07,235 --> 00:18:08,335
She meant it.
549
00:18:08,403 --> 00:18:10,837
And also, yes, we are different people,
550
00:18:10,905 --> 00:18:12,472
but I love that about us.
551
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,174
I love that Jake's a little messy
552
00:18:14,242 --> 00:18:16,843
and that he cares so much
about his dumb sneakers
553
00:18:16,911 --> 00:18:19,346
and he doesn't get stressed
out about calendars.
554
00:18:19,414 --> 00:18:22,149
- Or flossing my teeth.
- No, the non-flossing is crazy.
555
00:18:22,216 --> 00:18:23,350
Copy that, and I love you.
556
00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:24,585
I'm just so confused.
557
00:18:24,652 --> 00:18:26,186
Your fight was like
something out of a movie.
558
00:18:26,254 --> 00:18:28,322
- Teddy...
- No.
559
00:18:28,389 --> 00:18:29,456
I have to tell you the truth.
560
00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:31,058
No. Amy is dying.
561
00:18:31,125 --> 00:18:32,159
She has one month to live.
562
00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:33,827
Marrying her would be a waste of time.
563
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,295
Jake and I were only pretending to fight
564
00:18:35,363 --> 00:18:37,030
so that we could destroy your phone.
565
00:18:37,098 --> 00:18:39,299
While we were on the stakeout
and you were in the bathroom,
566
00:18:39,367 --> 00:18:41,468
we said you were the most
boring man in America,
567
00:18:41,536 --> 00:18:42,970
and your phone recorded it.
568
00:18:43,037 --> 00:18:44,338
I'm sorry.
569
00:18:44,405 --> 00:18:46,306
We didn't want you to get mad
at us and fail the precinct.
570
00:18:46,374 --> 00:18:49,142
Wow. You guys are the worst.
571
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,844
Well, you just proposed in
front of your girlfriend,
572
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:51,979
so potato, po-tah-to.
573
00:18:52,046 --> 00:18:53,413
Amy, I loved you.
574
00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:56,483
All right, I'm ready to go, Rachel.
575
00:18:56,551 --> 00:18:58,085
Should we hit up the Tenement Museum?
576
00:18:58,152 --> 00:18:59,319
No!
577
00:18:59,387 --> 00:19:01,021
I talked to NYPD facilities
578
00:19:01,089 --> 00:19:02,823
to see if they could get
an emergency cleanup crew
579
00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:03,991
out to us this afternoon.
580
00:19:04,058 --> 00:19:06,360
I received their standard response.
581
00:19:08,896 --> 00:19:10,230
This is on you, Boyle.
582
00:19:10,298 --> 00:19:12,265
You couldn't just suck it up and
let a few dozen crazed rats
583
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:13,734
eat you until their hearts exploded?
584
00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:14,901
Don't blame Boyle.
585
00:19:14,969 --> 00:19:16,236
The rats only got into the cocaine
586
00:19:16,304 --> 00:19:18,238
because you put the traps
in the evidence room.
587
00:19:18,306 --> 00:19:19,940
We were gonna use the break
room, but Gina was in there,
588
00:19:20,008 --> 00:19:22,442
and she got hit by a damn bus,
so nobody can say no to her.
589
00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:24,011
That's it.
590
00:19:24,078 --> 00:19:26,246
Nobody can say no to her.
591
00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:31,418
Answer's still no.
592
00:19:31,486 --> 00:19:34,454
Right, but maybe you should
speak to my colleague first.
593
00:19:36,257 --> 00:19:39,393
Hi. I got hit by a bus.
594
00:19:40,495 --> 00:19:42,429
Wow. This place looks amazing.
595
00:19:42,497 --> 00:19:45,132
Yes, thanks to Gina. She's
responsible for all of it.
596
00:19:45,199 --> 00:19:46,233
She's an inspiration.
597
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:47,434
Thank you, Captain.
598
00:19:47,502 --> 00:19:49,236
You have permission to share my story.
599
00:19:49,303 --> 00:19:51,304
So how'd it go with Sergeant Wells?
600
00:19:51,372 --> 00:19:53,140
Let's see. He proposed to Amy.
601
00:19:53,207 --> 00:19:55,375
She said no, and then his
girlfriend dumped him.
602
00:19:55,443 --> 00:19:57,277
- Terry's getting nervous.
- It's worse than it sounds.
603
00:19:57,345 --> 00:19:59,112
There was a jazz brunch involved.
604
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:00,580
- Oh.
- Oh, my God.
605
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:03,283
Look, all we can do is hope that
Sergeant Wells handles this
606
00:20:03,351 --> 00:20:06,119
like a professional and respects
the uniform that we all wear.
607
00:20:07,388 --> 00:20:09,222
Hey, everybody, look who's here.
608
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:11,825
It's me, the most boring man in America.
609
00:20:11,893 --> 00:20:13,994
Well, to be the most anything
in America is pretty good.
610
00:20:14,062 --> 00:20:15,429
I mean, it's a big country.
611
00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:17,831
- Teddy, we are so sorry.
- No, you don't have to be.
612
00:20:17,899 --> 00:20:18,999
It's okay. I get it.
613
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:20,801
I am boring. I'm owning it now.
614
00:20:20,868 --> 00:20:22,002
Sergeant Wells, I understand
615
00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:23,303
that you're upset for personal reasons,
616
00:20:23,371 --> 00:20:26,273
but we're hoping that you'll
give us a fair evaluation.
617
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:27,374
I will not...
618
00:20:27,442 --> 00:20:29,142
'cause I'm not gonna write one at all.
619
00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:30,310
I'm recusing myself.
620
00:20:30,378 --> 00:20:33,246
Oh. That is so sweet.
621
00:20:33,314 --> 00:20:35,182
Thank you for being
such a good guy, Teddy.
622
00:20:35,249 --> 00:20:38,318
Okay. I can read between the
lines, and I love you, too.
623
00:20:38,386 --> 00:20:39,953
Amy Santiago, will you...
624
00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:41,288
- No! Get up!
- Come on!
625
00:20:41,355 --> 00:20:44,324
Well, for what it's worth,
your precinct is immaculate.
626
00:20:44,392 --> 00:20:47,160
I'm sure that your new
auditor, Lieutenant Hopkins,
627
00:20:47,228 --> 00:20:48,428
will be very impressed.
628
00:20:48,496 --> 00:20:51,131
- Veronica Hopkins?
- That's the one.
629
00:20:51,199 --> 00:20:53,333
Well, the good news is,
630
00:20:53,401 --> 00:20:54,501
Amy has not dated her.
631
00:20:54,569 --> 00:20:57,537
No, but I did, and she hates me.
632
00:20:57,605 --> 00:21:00,006
Why can't any of you
keep it in your pants?
633
00:21:00,074 --> 00:21:01,508
Hello, Nine-Nine.
634
00:21:01,576 --> 00:21:03,510
I'm Lieutenant Hopkins.
635
00:21:03,578 --> 00:21:05,345
Hello, Terry Jeffords.
636
00:21:05,413 --> 00:21:07,514
Come here and give an old friend a hug.
637
00:21:07,582 --> 00:21:10,484
Hey. So good to see you.
638
00:21:12,086 --> 00:21:13,487
I'm shutting the Nine-Nine down,
639
00:21:13,554 --> 00:21:16,189
and there is nothing
you can do about it.
640
00:21:16,257 --> 00:21:19,359
Oh!
641
00:21:19,427 --> 00:21:22,195
This place is fantastic.
642
00:21:22,263 --> 00:21:24,364
This is gonna be fun.
643
00:21:26,434 --> 00:21:27,434
She seems nice.
644
00:21:27,468 --> 00:21:28,578
- sync and corrections by Mr. C -
- www.addic7ed.com -