1 00:00:03,434 --> 00:00:06,887 I didn't wash my hands, and I don't care. 2 00:00:06,888 --> 00:00:08,653 Yup. 3 00:00:08,654 --> 00:00:12,634 Cool to be some place right when things get good, right? 4 00:00:13,961 --> 00:00:17,532 Another pitcher of your strongest beer, please, good sir, 5 00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:20,224 and a glass thingie to drink it out of. 6 00:00:20,225 --> 00:00:24,546 And one of whatever this guy's having for that guy, 7 00:00:24,547 --> 00:00:27,069 and one of what that guy's having for this guy. 8 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,818 And another round for everyone, on me! 9 00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:32,721 That's right. That's right. 10 00:00:32,722 --> 00:00:34,823 - Thanks, buddy. - What's the occasion? 11 00:00:34,858 --> 00:00:36,759 Oh, I'm celebrating. 12 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,963 My name's Jake Peralta, and I just got fired from the NYPD. 13 00:00:40,964 --> 00:00:44,751 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 14 00:01:03,887 --> 00:01:05,187 All right, listen up. 15 00:01:05,188 --> 00:01:06,789 What you're about to see is highly disturbing, 16 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:08,190 but please, no comments. 17 00:01:08,191 --> 00:01:11,493 This man is in pain, so above all else, be kind. 18 00:01:14,782 --> 00:01:16,865 Good morning, Boyle. 19 00:01:16,866 --> 00:01:18,500 Let's just get it out there. 20 00:01:18,501 --> 00:01:20,269 Vivian broke up with me last night. 21 00:01:20,303 --> 00:01:23,405 I'm sorry, chucklebunny. 22 00:01:23,406 --> 00:01:24,807 Charles, wait! 23 00:01:24,808 --> 00:01:26,241 Yes? 24 00:01:26,242 --> 00:01:28,844 Your food dehydrator. 25 00:01:28,845 --> 00:01:30,546 Oh, God. 26 00:01:30,547 --> 00:01:31,914 It's official. 27 00:01:31,948 --> 00:01:35,617 The wedding's off, and this is what I'm like now. 28 00:01:35,618 --> 00:01:37,519 - Life is a pit. - Excuse me? 29 00:01:37,554 --> 00:01:39,488 I don't understand. Did you already have 30 00:01:39,489 --> 00:01:41,790 a matrix getup at home for some reason? 31 00:01:41,825 --> 00:01:43,892 No, Gina, I bought this with the money 32 00:01:43,893 --> 00:01:46,528 I was going to spend on our honeymoon to cape canaveral. 33 00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:47,896 I'm so sorry, buddy. 34 00:01:47,897 --> 00:01:52,201 Don't be, I'm settling into the darkness nicely. 35 00:01:52,202 --> 00:01:54,903 I definitely get you now. 36 00:01:54,904 --> 00:01:56,205 What you got there, Boyle? 37 00:01:56,206 --> 00:01:57,773 Eggs in a bag. 38 00:01:57,774 --> 00:02:00,442 Nothing brings me joy anymore, not even food. 39 00:02:00,443 --> 00:02:02,044 Now, I only eat for sustenance. 40 00:02:05,215 --> 00:02:07,383 Smart. Save that for later. 41 00:02:07,835 --> 00:02:08,984 Peralta? 42 00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:13,355 My office, now. 43 00:02:13,356 --> 00:02:14,957 Sir? 44 00:02:14,958 --> 00:02:17,459 Ah. Commissioner Podolski. 45 00:02:17,494 --> 00:02:19,261 It's been a while. Maybe because you haven't 46 00:02:19,262 --> 00:02:21,997 put any of my children in handcuffs recently. 47 00:02:21,998 --> 00:02:23,932 Yay, enemies for life. 48 00:02:23,933 --> 00:02:25,813 Peralta, have you been investigating Lucas Wint? 49 00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:26,969 Uh, yeah, I have. 50 00:02:26,970 --> 00:02:28,771 I think he's laundering money for drug dealers. 51 00:02:28,772 --> 00:02:31,940 Don't be an idiot. Lucas Wint is a civic leader. 52 00:02:31,941 --> 00:02:33,742 He runs a major charity, 53 00:02:33,777 --> 00:02:36,812 his community center is the lifeblood of that neighborhood, 54 00:02:36,846 --> 00:02:40,649 and he officially claims you have been harassing him. 55 00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:43,385 What? That's insane. 56 00:02:43,386 --> 00:02:44,486 I've been trying to talk to him, 57 00:02:44,487 --> 00:02:46,922 and he keeps avoiding me like a guilty person, 58 00:02:46,923 --> 00:02:50,859 so I approached him at his weekly basketball game. 59 00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:52,861 Hey there, Wint, I got a couple questions for you. 60 00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:54,063 I told you to back off. 61 00:02:54,064 --> 00:02:55,631 This is completely inappropriate. 62 00:02:55,632 --> 00:02:59,268 No, this is me scoring in your face! 63 00:02:59,269 --> 00:03:00,569 Kobe! 64 00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:03,706 Seemed like an obvious goal-tend, but that's besides the point. 65 00:03:03,707 --> 00:03:06,542 Peralta, do you have any evidence to support your suspicions? 66 00:03:06,543 --> 00:03:08,644 There's a lot of chatter amongst low-level drug dealers. 67 00:03:08,678 --> 00:03:09,981 Chatter? Sorry, I know. 68 00:03:10,147 --> 00:03:11,447 I hate that word too. 69 00:03:11,448 --> 00:03:12,448 Tittle-tattle. 70 00:03:12,449 --> 00:03:14,416 Just stay away from Wint. 71 00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:15,951 That's an order. 72 00:03:15,952 --> 00:03:18,887 Captain, I'm telling you this is reliable tittle-tattle. 73 00:03:18,888 --> 00:03:19,989 You have to trust me. 74 00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:21,190 Trust me. 75 00:03:21,191 --> 00:03:23,359 It's in your best interest to back off. 76 00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:24,693 Fine. 77 00:03:24,694 --> 00:03:26,428 But just for the record, I think you're both wrong. 78 00:03:26,429 --> 00:03:29,431 Self dismissed. 79 00:03:29,432 --> 00:03:31,600 We have to help Charles. He's devastated. 80 00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:33,035 I hate seeing him like this. 81 00:03:33,036 --> 00:03:35,671 Breakups are cartoony, thumbs down. 82 00:03:35,672 --> 00:03:38,407 They make people feel face-with-xs-for-the-eyes. 83 00:03:38,408 --> 00:03:40,009 What does that even mean? 84 00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:42,244 The english language cannot fully capture 85 00:03:42,245 --> 00:03:44,146 the depth and complexity of my thoughts, 86 00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:48,417 so I'm incorporating emoji into my speech to better express myself. 87 00:03:48,418 --> 00:03:50,019 Winky face. Oh, lord. 88 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,453 Listen, this is simple. 89 00:03:51,454 --> 00:03:53,789 Boyle needs a little rebound nooky. 90 00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,324 Eggplant emoji. 91 00:03:55,325 --> 00:03:56,825 Rosa, you wanna get on that? 92 00:03:56,826 --> 00:03:58,827 Don't make me rip your tongue off. 93 00:03:58,828 --> 00:04:01,230 I would talk to him, but I don't think I have any advice. 94 00:04:01,231 --> 00:04:03,532 All of my breakups have been completely mutual. 95 00:04:03,566 --> 00:04:06,535 This is the best possible option for both of us. 96 00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:10,005 Agreed. Take care. 97 00:04:10,006 --> 00:04:12,794 That was the end of an eight-year relationship. 98 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,077 You know, I haven't had that many romantic breakups, 99 00:04:15,078 --> 00:04:17,313 but neither of my children will speak to me anymore. 100 00:04:17,314 --> 00:04:19,248 All right. None of you are any help. 101 00:04:19,249 --> 00:04:21,617 Sarge and I will cheer up Charles. 102 00:04:21,651 --> 00:04:23,485 Oh. 103 00:04:23,486 --> 00:04:25,387 He's not even chewing them anymore. 104 00:04:25,388 --> 00:04:26,889 Ugh. 105 00:04:26,890 --> 00:04:29,124 Listen to this text Boyle just sent me. 106 00:04:29,125 --> 00:04:33,362 "I finally know what used napkins at a barbecue restaurant feel like." 107 00:04:33,363 --> 00:04:35,230 I hate breakups. 108 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,735 I hope I never go through one again. 109 00:04:36,766 --> 00:04:38,100 Really? 110 00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:39,501 You think you'll spend the rest of your life with Teddy? 111 00:04:39,536 --> 00:04:41,704 What? No. 112 00:04:41,705 --> 00:04:43,372 Maybe. I don't know. 113 00:04:43,373 --> 00:04:45,541 Just saying getting dumped is a nightmare. 114 00:04:45,542 --> 00:04:47,242 No arguments here. 115 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,744 I remember my worst breakup. 116 00:04:48,745 --> 00:04:51,249 Eighth grade. Jenny Gildenhorn. 117 00:04:51,281 --> 00:04:53,048 Hey, Jenny. 118 00:04:53,049 --> 00:04:55,284 Jake, I don't wanna go out anymore. 119 00:04:55,285 --> 00:04:56,452 I like Eddie Fung now. 120 00:04:56,453 --> 00:04:58,187 But it's my bar Mitzvah. 121 00:04:58,188 --> 00:05:00,675 We were gonna grind. 122 00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:02,891 That day, I truly became a man. 123 00:05:02,892 --> 00:05:04,393 Wonder where Eddie Fung is now. 124 00:05:04,394 --> 00:05:06,061 867 Clinton street, apartment 2A. 125 00:05:06,062 --> 00:05:07,997 I know exactly where that bastard is. 126 00:05:09,032 --> 00:05:10,132 Get down, it's Wint! 127 00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:12,034 Wha... Wint? Holt told you to drop that. 128 00:05:12,035 --> 00:05:13,369 I thought we were working a burglary. 129 00:05:13,403 --> 00:05:15,440 I know, I lied. Apology? Apology accepted. 130 00:05:15,939 --> 00:05:18,073 Look, Podolski is wrong. Wint is guilty. 131 00:05:18,074 --> 00:05:20,576 Yesterday, I saw him get into a car with a known drug dealer. 132 00:05:20,577 --> 00:05:23,112 I didn't have time to take a picture, but today, I came prepared. 133 00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:24,280 Did you tell Holt what you saw? 134 00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:25,781 No, I don't trust him on this. 135 00:05:25,782 --> 00:05:27,049 How can you not trust Holt? 136 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:28,284 He's the executor of my will. 137 00:05:28,318 --> 00:05:29,952 Wint has crazy ties to city hall. 138 00:05:29,953 --> 00:05:32,588 I just don't think Holt would risk giving up his command. 139 00:05:32,589 --> 00:05:34,223 Anyway. 140 00:05:34,224 --> 00:05:36,325 Oh, crap. Where'd he go? 141 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:39,795 Hello, Detective Peralta. 142 00:05:39,796 --> 00:05:41,330 Amy. 143 00:05:41,331 --> 00:05:43,165 Tell me who's there. 144 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:44,967 I'm blind. 145 00:05:44,968 --> 00:05:48,237 You disobeyed my direct orders to drop this case. 146 00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:49,471 I staked out Wint 'cause I got a tip 147 00:05:49,472 --> 00:05:50,973 he was meeting up with a drug dealer. 148 00:05:50,974 --> 00:05:52,308 And why didn't you tell me about this? 149 00:05:52,309 --> 00:05:54,143 Because you told me to drop the case. 150 00:05:54,144 --> 00:05:56,812 Look, let's just agree to say "I'm sorry" on the count of three. 151 00:05:56,813 --> 00:05:59,682 One, two, three. 152 00:05:59,683 --> 00:06:01,550 See? Now, I'm just disappointed in both of us. 153 00:06:01,551 --> 00:06:03,519 This is unacceptable, and you've crossed the line. 154 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,721 Sir, I am Amy Santiago, and I have something to say. 155 00:06:05,722 --> 00:06:07,590 I think you're wrong. 156 00:06:07,591 --> 00:06:09,491 I think Detective Peralta is onto something, 157 00:06:09,526 --> 00:06:11,160 and you should let him pursue it. 158 00:06:11,161 --> 00:06:13,028 I'm Amy Santiago, and I'm done talking. 159 00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:15,598 Good, because this is none of your concern. 160 00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:18,500 Commissioner Podolski is bringing you up on charges and specs. 161 00:06:18,501 --> 00:06:20,436 You're facing a six-month suspension, 162 00:06:20,437 --> 00:06:22,304 and you're on administrative leave until the hearing. 163 00:06:22,305 --> 00:06:24,173 Now, get out of my office. 164 00:06:24,174 --> 00:06:26,542 Fine. 165 00:06:26,543 --> 00:06:28,110 Here's my gun and my badge. 166 00:06:28,111 --> 00:06:30,346 I don't need those. You're not suspended yet. 167 00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:31,914 You're on administrative leave. 168 00:06:31,948 --> 00:06:33,749 You never let me do anything cool. 169 00:06:35,882 --> 00:06:37,917 Ah. Good morning, Captain. 170 00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:40,819 I got you your favorite breakfast, a plain bagel and a water. 171 00:06:40,854 --> 00:06:42,922 Don't try to soften me up. 172 00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,256 Why'd you ask me to meet you in this alley 173 00:06:44,257 --> 00:06:45,724 in Bensonhurst at 9:00 in the morning? 174 00:06:45,725 --> 00:06:47,426 Look, my best chance of not getting suspended 175 00:06:47,427 --> 00:06:48,861 is proving that Wint is guilty. 176 00:06:48,862 --> 00:06:50,930 I got a confidential informant I need you to meet. 177 00:06:50,964 --> 00:06:53,732 You continue to work this case against my direct orders? 178 00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:55,401 You astound me. 179 00:06:55,435 --> 00:06:56,468 Thank you, sir. 180 00:06:56,469 --> 00:06:58,404 You astound me as well. 181 00:06:58,405 --> 00:07:00,472 But I didn't find him. 182 00:07:00,473 --> 00:07:02,474 Santiago did. 183 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,843 What is going on with you? 184 00:07:04,878 --> 00:07:06,245 I don't know, sir. 185 00:07:06,246 --> 00:07:07,980 We're both off-roading it here. 186 00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:10,649 My internal GPS has been recalculating for a week. 187 00:07:10,684 --> 00:07:12,051 This is Isaac. 188 00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:13,853 He used to be a pusher for the bay Ridge boys. 189 00:07:13,887 --> 00:07:15,788 Dude, drugs don't need pushing. 190 00:07:15,789 --> 00:07:18,090 They push themselves. People love drugs. 191 00:07:18,124 --> 00:07:19,425 Tell him about the donations. 192 00:07:19,426 --> 00:07:21,293 All right, look, every friday, I put cash 193 00:07:21,294 --> 00:07:23,762 into a duffel bag and bring it to Wint community center, 194 00:07:23,797 --> 00:07:25,764 room 265, and they mark it down 195 00:07:25,765 --> 00:07:28,067 as a charitable donation in their account book. 196 00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:31,103 Ergo, laundering. 197 00:07:31,104 --> 00:07:32,304 So why should we believe you? 198 00:07:32,305 --> 00:07:33,272 I don't care who you believe. 199 00:07:33,306 --> 00:07:34,506 Just know I hate those dudes now. 200 00:07:34,507 --> 00:07:36,709 They carved up my territory so bad, I had to quit selling drugs, 201 00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,143 and I love selling drugs. 202 00:07:38,178 --> 00:07:39,278 It was my dream job. 203 00:07:39,312 --> 00:07:40,646 Sir, I filled out a warrant request 204 00:07:40,647 --> 00:07:42,781 to search the community center for the account book. 205 00:07:42,782 --> 00:07:45,484 I need you to sign it before I can take it to a judge. 206 00:07:45,485 --> 00:07:49,788 I know I'm asking you to stick your neck out, but please trust me. 207 00:07:49,789 --> 00:07:51,190 Fine. 208 00:07:51,191 --> 00:07:54,260 But I'll be with you every step of the way. 209 00:07:54,261 --> 00:07:55,928 You know, you should just put a microchip in his neck 210 00:07:55,929 --> 00:07:56,929 like a little doggy. 211 00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:58,230 All right, Isaac, thank you. 212 00:07:58,231 --> 00:07:59,899 Yeah, you're done. 213 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:00,933 All right, guys. 214 00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:02,668 We have Peralta's hearing at 4:00. 215 00:08:02,669 --> 00:08:03,969 Anybody seen Boyle? 216 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,571 Present. 217 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,373 He seems even worse than before. 218 00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:10,042 I lost Vivian, and now I might lose Jake. 219 00:08:10,076 --> 00:08:11,076 I don't know what else to do. 220 00:08:11,077 --> 00:08:12,311 I've tried being supportive. 221 00:08:12,312 --> 00:08:16,415 I listened to him talk about Vivian's lips for over two hours. 222 00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:17,917 He kept describing them as "ample." 223 00:08:17,951 --> 00:08:20,386 So ample. 224 00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:22,388 Rosa. 225 00:08:22,422 --> 00:08:25,624 Have you ever been dumped? 226 00:08:25,659 --> 00:08:27,026 No. 227 00:08:27,027 --> 00:08:28,627 In all my breakups, I'm always the dumper. 228 00:08:28,662 --> 00:08:31,597 I know you're having a hard time, but I think I can fix this. 229 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:35,634 There's this thing that I do whenever I... Feel. 230 00:08:35,669 --> 00:08:36,669 What? 231 00:08:36,703 --> 00:08:41,574 Burn everything. 232 00:08:43,076 --> 00:08:46,512 Okay. This feels right. 233 00:08:46,513 --> 00:08:48,447 No, it's terrible! Vivian, I won't let you burn! 234 00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:50,649 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ow! 235 00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:52,017 Ah! Ooh! 236 00:08:52,018 --> 00:08:54,186 Ah! Oh, that's so hot! 237 00:08:54,187 --> 00:08:56,453 What is that? It's coffee. 238 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,592 Hot coffee? 239 00:08:59,593 --> 00:09:02,061 Look at us, three rogue cops 240 00:09:02,095 --> 00:09:04,697 taking on a case the commissioner told us to drop. 241 00:09:04,731 --> 00:09:06,165 Button up your jacket. Sit up straight. 242 00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:08,868 Judge Mindel has a reputation for being strict and proper. 243 00:09:08,869 --> 00:09:09,868 All right, no worries. 244 00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:11,303 I'll just act like you. 245 00:09:11,304 --> 00:09:13,806 Say something so I can get the cadence of your voice down. 246 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,407 I will not. Perfect. 247 00:09:15,408 --> 00:09:18,210 I will not. I... Will not. 248 00:09:18,211 --> 00:09:22,520 I will... Not. 249 00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:24,022 Have a seat, Detective. 250 00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:25,148 I will not. 251 00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:26,118 Excuse me? 252 00:09:26,119 --> 00:09:27,553 Uh, sorry. 253 00:09:27,554 --> 00:09:30,556 I meant out of respect, I will choose to stand. 254 00:09:30,557 --> 00:09:33,459 Sit, I will not. 255 00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:37,163 This looks like it was filled out by a toddler. 256 00:09:37,197 --> 00:09:40,366 Now, we're going to have to go through this point by point. 257 00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:42,735 Justice cannot be rushed. 258 00:09:42,769 --> 00:09:46,071 But could it be gently nudged into hyper speed? 259 00:09:46,106 --> 00:09:47,740 I take it you're the toddler. 260 00:09:48,842 --> 00:09:51,510 Excuse me a moment. Mm-hmm. 261 00:09:51,511 --> 00:09:54,980 This is going terribly. New plan. 262 00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:58,050 I'm gonna charm her. 263 00:09:58,051 --> 00:09:59,351 Oh, no. 264 00:09:59,386 --> 00:10:00,819 I'm sorry. I had to take that. 265 00:10:00,854 --> 00:10:03,289 You gotta do what you gotta do. 266 00:10:03,323 --> 00:10:06,258 Captain Raymond Holt. 267 00:10:06,259 --> 00:10:09,462 What's up? 268 00:10:13,266 --> 00:10:14,233 You wanted to see me, sarge? 269 00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:16,335 Yeah, come on in, Boyle. 270 00:10:16,336 --> 00:10:17,336 Sorry to hear about your hand. 271 00:10:17,337 --> 00:10:18,571 Thanks. 272 00:10:18,572 --> 00:10:21,407 It makes it really hard to manipulate my egg sack. 273 00:10:21,408 --> 00:10:23,209 Look. Here's the deal. 274 00:10:23,243 --> 00:10:25,311 I did my Junior year abroad in Tokyo. 275 00:10:25,312 --> 00:10:28,581 And my girlfriend Chiaki? She broke my heart. 276 00:10:40,994 --> 00:10:43,729 I stared at the paper walls for weeks 277 00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:46,932 until my roommates showed me how to vent my feelings. 278 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:54,206 Take a plate and smash it. 279 00:10:54,207 --> 00:10:56,275 Oh! 280 00:10:56,276 --> 00:10:57,476 Feels good. Yeah! 281 00:10:57,477 --> 00:10:59,445 All right. Your turn, Boyle. Okay. 282 00:10:59,446 --> 00:11:00,846 Vent those feelings! Okay. 283 00:11:00,847 --> 00:11:03,482 Here we go, sarge. Yeah. 284 00:11:04,851 --> 00:11:07,953 Oh, my testicles! 285 00:11:07,954 --> 00:11:09,955 We got a warrant. But now, we need a plan. 286 00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:11,724 We can't just go in there in our uniforms. 287 00:11:11,725 --> 00:11:14,627 They'll destroy the evidence before we even walk through the door. 288 00:11:14,628 --> 00:11:16,428 Good point, Captain Holt, 289 00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:19,932 or should I say "Captain Raymond sex vibes"? 290 00:11:19,966 --> 00:11:21,600 Who knew you had such game? 291 00:11:21,635 --> 00:11:25,070 Yes, I've found that many women want what they can't have. 292 00:11:25,071 --> 00:11:27,072 I get it. Ew. 293 00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:29,230 What the hell is going on? 294 00:11:29,396 --> 00:11:31,577 According to the community center calendar, 295 00:11:31,578 --> 00:11:33,484 amateur ballroom dancing competition. 296 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:36,348 Ah, okay. 297 00:11:36,349 --> 00:11:38,050 I know how we're gonna blend in. 298 00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:41,787 - Don't say "thrift store." - Thrift store! 299 00:11:49,262 --> 00:11:50,463 ♪ I... ♪ 300 00:11:50,464 --> 00:11:52,131 - ♪ I want to... ♪ - ♪ Thank you ♪ 301 00:11:52,132 --> 00:11:55,501 ♪ For lettin' me be myself ♪ 302 00:11:55,502 --> 00:11:57,303 ♪ Again ♪ 303 00:12:00,307 --> 00:12:02,775 ♪ Thank you for let... ♪ 304 00:12:02,776 --> 00:12:04,477 Jake, the overwhelming time pressure. 305 00:12:04,478 --> 00:12:05,611 Yep. 306 00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,467 All right, Isaac said the account book 307 00:12:09,468 --> 00:12:11,689 was in room 265. It's gotta be upstairs. 308 00:12:11,704 --> 00:12:13,204 Let's head up. 309 00:12:13,205 --> 00:12:14,906 Hey. Where you goin'? 310 00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:16,341 To the dance contest. 311 00:12:16,342 --> 00:12:19,177 I am nationally-recognized fox-trotter Dave Blathis, 312 00:12:19,178 --> 00:12:24,082 and these are my proteges, Rhonda Shawarma and Hank Frankel. 313 00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:25,450 I don't care who you are. 314 00:12:25,451 --> 00:12:27,085 Upstairs is closed to the public. 315 00:12:27,119 --> 00:12:28,286 Fine. 316 00:12:28,287 --> 00:12:32,724 But we didn't have to endure this crap when we danced in Barcelona. 317 00:12:32,725 --> 00:12:34,626 The hearing's starting any second. 318 00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:36,728 There may be another staircase off the dance floor. 319 00:12:36,729 --> 00:12:37,896 I'll sign us up for the contest. 320 00:12:37,897 --> 00:12:39,364 Good idea. Oh, and Amy. 321 00:12:39,365 --> 00:12:43,635 Hm? Your dress makes you look like a mermaid. 322 00:12:43,636 --> 00:12:46,838 Okay, I'll see you in a little bit. 323 00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:48,673 I know we're all concerned about Boyle, 324 00:12:48,674 --> 00:12:51,676 but again, there is a solution. 325 00:12:51,677 --> 00:12:54,979 Forget your ex with meaningless sex. 326 00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:56,484 It rhymes because it's true. 327 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,049 All right, everyone. 328 00:12:58,084 --> 00:13:00,018 Peralta needs us to stall. 329 00:13:00,019 --> 00:13:01,920 So just keep your answers long. 330 00:13:01,954 --> 00:13:04,789 Add stuff. Embellish your asses off. 331 00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:05,790 Boyle, you're first. 332 00:13:05,791 --> 00:13:08,293 I don't know if I'm up for this. 333 00:13:08,294 --> 00:13:11,029 I'm so emotional. I can barely think straight. 334 00:13:11,063 --> 00:13:12,964 Great. Use that. 335 00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:14,165 Embrace the void. 336 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,101 Would you say Detective Peralta 337 00:13:16,102 --> 00:13:18,269 was overly interested in the Wint case? 338 00:13:18,304 --> 00:13:21,706 I only heard Detective Peralta talk about Lucas Wint once. 339 00:13:21,741 --> 00:13:23,007 We were in my car. 340 00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:26,611 I took Vivian on our first real date in that car. 341 00:13:26,645 --> 00:13:28,850 Vivian is my fiancee. 342 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:32,283 My ex-fiancee. 343 00:13:32,318 --> 00:13:33,785 My never-wife. 344 00:13:33,819 --> 00:13:35,887 Detective Boyle, if you could, 345 00:13:35,888 --> 00:13:37,956 please limit your comments to the matter at hand. 346 00:13:37,957 --> 00:13:39,090 I will. 347 00:13:39,091 --> 00:13:40,792 I'd just like the record to reflect 348 00:13:40,793 --> 00:13:46,364 that "matter at hand" was one of Vivian's favorite expressions. 349 00:13:46,365 --> 00:13:47,499 We should try to blend in. 350 00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:49,033 Stretch your leg up over your head. 351 00:13:49,068 --> 00:13:51,736 What? You stretch your leg up over your head. 352 00:13:51,771 --> 00:13:53,104 You think I wouldn't if I could? 353 00:13:53,139 --> 00:13:54,272 Ugh. 354 00:13:54,273 --> 00:13:57,208 Ooh, looks like the Captain found a partner. 355 00:13:57,243 --> 00:13:58,543 Good lord. 356 00:13:58,544 --> 00:14:04,538 Okay, we begin with a free-dance period to the spicy sounds of rumba. 357 00:14:05,484 --> 00:14:09,120 All right. The linoleum awaits, my dear. 358 00:14:09,155 --> 00:14:10,555 Oh, boy. 359 00:14:10,556 --> 00:14:12,123 I know we're undercover, but I'm starting to get 360 00:14:12,124 --> 00:14:13,758 real nervous about this contest. 361 00:14:13,793 --> 00:14:15,326 You need to see a therapist. 362 00:14:15,361 --> 00:14:16,961 Yeah. Let's dance this way. 363 00:14:16,996 --> 00:14:18,897 - Okay. - Ho, hoo. 364 00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:21,700 How did you manage to step on both of my feet at the same time? 365 00:14:21,734 --> 00:14:23,835 I'm horrible at this. When can we stop? 366 00:14:23,869 --> 00:14:25,573 I'm horrible at this... I know, I know. 367 00:14:26,072 --> 00:14:27,539 Title of my sex tape. 368 00:14:27,573 --> 00:14:28,773 Huh, well done. 369 00:14:28,774 --> 00:14:30,709 Title of my sex tape. 370 00:14:30,743 --> 00:14:32,510 Oh, my God, the Captain. 371 00:14:32,545 --> 00:14:34,913 He could really win this thing. 372 00:14:34,947 --> 00:14:36,648 How did you get so amazing at dancing? 373 00:14:36,682 --> 00:14:38,083 Jake, focus. 374 00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:39,718 I found a back stairway over here. 375 00:14:39,719 --> 00:14:41,786 And spin. 376 00:14:41,821 --> 00:14:43,655 Who is he? 377 00:14:43,689 --> 00:14:45,857 As far as I can recall, Detective Peralta 378 00:14:45,858 --> 00:14:50,495 told me that... 379 00:14:50,496 --> 00:14:53,476 That... 380 00:14:53,899 --> 00:14:54,999 He... 381 00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:57,869 No, I never heard Jake talk about Wint. 382 00:14:57,903 --> 00:14:59,838 And the very fact that you have him on trial 383 00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:01,692 is cat-doing- home-alone -face. 384 00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:03,069 Of... 385 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,776 Look, I've known Jake forever. 386 00:15:04,777 --> 00:15:07,645 Our friendship is little-boy- holding-little-girl's-hand. 387 00:15:09,949 --> 00:15:13,585 God, that guard by the door will not move. 388 00:15:13,586 --> 00:15:15,720 Uh-oh, he just made eye contact with me. 389 00:15:15,721 --> 00:15:17,489 Play it cool. Dance. 390 00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:18,523 Dance, dance, dance. 391 00:15:18,557 --> 00:15:19,691 You don't have to say "dance" 392 00:15:19,692 --> 00:15:21,659 every time you make a step. 393 00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:22,894 Good call. Hey. 394 00:15:22,895 --> 00:15:25,096 Do you want me to actually show you how to do this 395 00:15:25,097 --> 00:15:27,593 so you don't hurt yourself and possibly others? 396 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,599 Yes. Okay. 397 00:15:28,601 --> 00:15:29,668 Ready? 398 00:15:29,669 --> 00:15:31,436 Mm-hmm. 399 00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:36,441 This is kinda fun. 400 00:15:36,442 --> 00:15:38,209 Yeah. 401 00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:40,979 Maybe Teddy and I should take a class. 402 00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:44,282 Yeah. Maybe. 403 00:15:44,283 --> 00:15:45,450 Guys, we're running out of time. 404 00:15:45,451 --> 00:15:47,619 What's the plan? That guard won't move. 405 00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,853 We need a distraction. 406 00:15:48,854 --> 00:15:49,853 I'm on it. 407 00:15:49,855 --> 00:15:52,023 Dance, dance, dance, dance. 408 00:15:52,024 --> 00:15:53,758 Oh, God! Oh! 409 00:15:53,759 --> 00:15:55,827 My ankle! Sir, my ankle! 410 00:15:55,828 --> 00:15:57,662 Oh, I heard a pop! I heard a pop! 411 00:15:57,663 --> 00:15:59,197 Is that bad? Do you know if that's bad? 412 00:15:59,198 --> 00:16:02,000 Oh, God! Oh, I live to dance! 413 00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:09,407 Ah. Voila. 414 00:16:09,442 --> 00:16:12,110 So glad no one heard me say that. 415 00:16:12,111 --> 00:16:14,079 Gotcha. 416 00:16:14,113 --> 00:16:15,880 Aw, this is incredible. 417 00:16:15,881 --> 00:16:17,349 The account books have everything. 418 00:16:17,350 --> 00:16:19,084 Dates, names, dollar amounts. 419 00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:21,286 I can't wait to show this to Podolski. 420 00:16:21,287 --> 00:16:24,621 I should probably slip in a Miley-Cyrus-told-you-so face real quick. 421 00:16:24,924 --> 00:16:26,224 It's hard to do on the move. 422 00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:27,926 Peralta, wait. 423 00:16:28,361 --> 00:16:30,328 Santiago, give us a minute. 424 00:16:30,329 --> 00:16:31,329 Sir? 425 00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:32,397 I need you to do something. 426 00:16:32,398 --> 00:16:34,566 And it's gonna sound crazy, but it's important, 427 00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:37,736 and I need you to trust me. 428 00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:39,671 So Detective Peralta... 429 00:16:39,705 --> 00:16:42,919 Do you have any evidence you'd like to present on your behalf? 430 00:16:43,476 --> 00:16:45,243 No. 431 00:16:45,244 --> 00:16:47,278 I have nothing. 432 00:16:49,561 --> 00:16:51,562 Jake. What happened? 433 00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:53,197 Did Holt ask you to get suspended? 434 00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:54,965 No, he told me to get fired. 435 00:16:54,966 --> 00:16:56,099 Why? I don't know. 436 00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,301 I'm kind of freaking out. 437 00:16:57,302 --> 00:17:00,037 He said to do it, and the next thing I knew, I was just yelling. 438 00:17:00,038 --> 00:17:03,140 And your mother! All of your mothers. 439 00:17:03,141 --> 00:17:04,641 And your grandmothers. 440 00:17:04,676 --> 00:17:07,244 And your grandmothers' little dogs. 441 00:17:07,278 --> 00:17:08,645 Are you done? No, I'm not done! 442 00:17:08,646 --> 00:17:11,155 Aw, you're done! You can't handle the me! 443 00:17:11,182 --> 00:17:12,549 - Oh, my God. - Peralta! 444 00:17:12,584 --> 00:17:14,351 Hey. What's goin' on? 445 00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:16,320 This is special agent Clarke with the FBI. 446 00:17:16,321 --> 00:17:18,989 FBI? We couldn't let you expose Lucas Wint. 447 00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:22,192 It would've compromised a much larger ongoing federal investigation. 448 00:17:22,227 --> 00:17:25,162 We believe that Wint has ties to the Ianucci crime family. 449 00:17:25,163 --> 00:17:26,830 That's one of the best crime families. 450 00:17:26,831 --> 00:17:28,499 We needed you to get fired for real 451 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,135 because the Ianuccis have moles inside the NYPD, 452 00:17:31,169 --> 00:17:32,636 and we need them to trust you. 453 00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,204 Detective, we'd like you to go undercover 454 00:17:34,205 --> 00:17:35,639 and help us with the investigation. 455 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:36,907 Okay, the answer is "yes." 456 00:17:36,908 --> 00:17:39,409 My name is Duncan buck. 457 00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:42,546 I was raised on a oil rig by 90 men and 1 prostitute. 458 00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,814 We'd like you to be yourself. 459 00:17:43,815 --> 00:17:46,150 Even better. This could be very dangerous. 460 00:17:46,151 --> 00:17:48,786 - So please, take some time, and... - No need. I'm in. 461 00:17:48,787 --> 00:17:50,587 Eyes closed, head first, can't lose. 462 00:17:50,622 --> 00:17:52,189 I don't think that's the expression. 463 00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:55,282 Can you just let me have this? 464 00:17:55,293 --> 00:17:57,995 What I'm about to tell you cannot leave this room. 465 00:17:57,996 --> 00:17:59,163 Detective Peralta will be going 466 00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:01,064 in an undercover assignment with the FBI. 467 00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:02,699 His cover story is that he was fired. 468 00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,535 Oh, my God. My heart just threw up. 469 00:18:04,569 --> 00:18:05,936 Look, they're saying this assignment will last 470 00:18:05,937 --> 00:18:07,938 about six months, so while I'm gone, 471 00:18:07,939 --> 00:18:10,073 Boyle, I want you to have my desk. 472 00:18:10,108 --> 00:18:11,575 I'll sit at it always. 473 00:18:11,609 --> 00:18:13,551 Rosa, you can have my locker. 474 00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,411 Sweet. 475 00:18:14,412 --> 00:18:16,747 Amy, you can have all of my open cases. 476 00:18:16,748 --> 00:18:17,848 Okay, that's enough. 477 00:18:17,849 --> 00:18:20,517 Peralta doesn't have the authority to do any of this. 478 00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:24,188 You will all sit at your own desk and work the cases I assign you. 479 00:18:24,189 --> 00:18:27,825 But you will be missed. 480 00:18:27,826 --> 00:18:28,859 Thank you, Captain. 481 00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:32,896 Thank you for trusting me. 482 00:18:32,931 --> 00:18:34,498 Okay, now call us all names 483 00:18:34,499 --> 00:18:36,433 and storm out of here for the benefit of the bullpen. 484 00:18:36,468 --> 00:18:38,202 This is the best day ever. 485 00:18:40,171 --> 00:18:41,805 I'll miss you guys. 486 00:18:41,806 --> 00:18:43,540 And your mother! 487 00:18:43,541 --> 00:18:45,309 And your mother. 488 00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:47,578 You're all a bunch of pigs! 489 00:18:47,579 --> 00:18:50,848 I smell bacon! 490 00:18:50,849 --> 00:18:52,983 And guess what else, "Captain"? 491 00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:57,821 You can take this tie and shove it straight into your hellhole! 492 00:18:57,822 --> 00:19:00,924 This whole place reeks of bacon. 493 00:19:00,925 --> 00:19:02,192 And guess what? 494 00:19:02,193 --> 00:19:06,964 I'm going kosher 'cause Jake-y don't dig on swine! 495 00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:07,978 Whoo! 496 00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:10,300 All right, everyone. I wanna make a toast. 497 00:19:10,301 --> 00:19:12,369 To you guys. 498 00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:15,272 You will never be Jake or Vivian, but at least you're here. 499 00:19:15,273 --> 00:19:18,375 Ugh, I'm gonna go over by the bar where I can hear you worse. 500 00:19:18,376 --> 00:19:20,711 Oh, I get it. I'd abandon me too. 501 00:19:20,712 --> 00:19:22,546 That's it. Boyle, no more eggs. 502 00:19:22,547 --> 00:19:24,248 You are drinking your troubles away. 503 00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:25,449 Start with this. 504 00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:26,917 I'm gonna get some bottles from the bar. 505 00:19:26,951 --> 00:19:29,820 Make way! Large man helping his little friend. 506 00:19:29,821 --> 00:19:32,589 Comin' through! 507 00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:35,125 You're so lucky you've never been through a painful breakup. 508 00:19:35,126 --> 00:19:36,226 The only reason they haven't been painful 509 00:19:36,227 --> 00:19:39,263 is 'cause the guys were all losers. 510 00:19:39,264 --> 00:19:40,597 I've never dated anyone good. 511 00:19:40,632 --> 00:19:42,056 Hmm. 512 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,202 Like you. 513 00:19:50,308 --> 00:19:51,809 Amy? 514 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,143 Hey, thought I missed you. 515 00:19:53,144 --> 00:19:55,512 Hey, Jake. Amazing assignment. 516 00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:58,215 I have to admit I'm a little jealous. 517 00:19:58,249 --> 00:19:59,717 Really? Mm-hmm. 518 00:19:59,718 --> 00:20:01,085 Well, if you want, I could help you get fired. 519 00:20:01,086 --> 00:20:02,986 I'm really good at it. 520 00:20:03,021 --> 00:20:04,288 Yeah. 521 00:20:04,289 --> 00:20:06,223 This is real. This is happening. 522 00:20:06,257 --> 00:20:08,225 Look... 523 00:20:08,226 --> 00:20:09,760 I don't wanna be a jerk. 524 00:20:09,761 --> 00:20:13,931 I know you're dating Teddy, and it's going really well. 525 00:20:13,965 --> 00:20:16,465 It's just... What's going on? 526 00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:19,503 I don't know what's gonna happen on this assignment. 527 00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:22,306 And if something bad goes down, I think I'd be pissed at myself 528 00:20:22,307 --> 00:20:24,241 if I didn't say this. 529 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:31,408 I kinda wish something could happen between us, romantic-styles. 530 00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:33,784 And I know it can't 'cause you're with Teddy, 531 00:20:33,785 --> 00:20:38,122 and I'm going undercover, and that's just how it is. 532 00:20:38,123 --> 00:20:42,893 But... 533 00:20:42,894 --> 00:20:46,864 Anyway, we're not supposed to have any contact, so I should go. 534 00:20:46,865 --> 00:20:48,465 America needs me. 535 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,501 Bye. 536 00:20:53,405 --> 00:20:55,672 And another round for everyone on me! 537 00:20:55,673 --> 00:20:56,974 Thanks, buddy. 538 00:20:56,975 --> 00:20:57,975 What's the occasion? 539 00:20:57,976 --> 00:20:59,843 Oh, I'm celebrating. 540 00:20:59,844 --> 00:21:05,983 My name's Jake Peralta, and I just got fired from the NYPD. 541 00:21:05,984 --> 00:21:09,953 I'm Leo... Ianucci. 542 00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:13,157 Nice to meet you. 543 00:21:27,639 --> 00:21:31,742 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/