1
00:00:00,130 --> 00:00:03,526
No! No, no, no!
2
00:00:03,527 --> 00:00:05,862
You can't take her from me,
you bastard!
3
00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,163
Don't do this, Scully.
4
00:00:07,164 --> 00:00:09,032
You have to be strong
for her right now.
5
00:00:09,066 --> 00:00:10,433
What's going on?
6
00:00:10,434 --> 00:00:11,601
Unit's being replaced.
7
00:00:11,602 --> 00:00:12,836
Come on! No!
8
00:00:12,837 --> 00:00:13,937
That machine's been
here forever.
9
00:00:13,938 --> 00:00:15,338
It's basically part
of the force.
10
00:00:15,339 --> 00:00:16,706
Take Scully instead.
11
00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:19,375
Yes, please, take me
to the land of vending machines.
12
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:21,611
Can we at least have five minutes
to say a proper good-bye?
13
00:00:21,645 --> 00:00:24,247
Whatever.
14
00:00:24,281 --> 00:00:25,849
Let me just start by saying
15
00:00:25,883 --> 00:00:28,651
that this machine is
the best restaurant in Brooklyn,
16
00:00:28,652 --> 00:00:30,086
and it always had a table
for me.
17
00:00:30,121 --> 00:00:32,122
I knew just where to punch it
to get free food.
18
00:00:32,123 --> 00:00:33,790
Now I have to go back
to punching Hitchcock.
19
00:00:33,824 --> 00:00:35,892
Look, she still has the bags
of baby carrots
20
00:00:35,893 --> 00:00:37,160
I requested they put in.
21
00:00:37,161 --> 00:00:38,761
They're black now,
but they're there.
22
00:00:38,796 --> 00:00:40,830
Good-bye, beautiful machine.
23
00:00:40,831 --> 00:00:43,333
Thank you for your service.
24
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,969
Okay, squad salute.
25
00:00:48,973 --> 00:00:51,674
♪ ♪
26
00:00:51,675 --> 00:00:53,409
You can take her away now.
27
00:00:55,379 --> 00:00:57,814
Well, I think we handled that
with dignity.
28
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:03,520
Free candy!
29
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:07,271
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
30
00:01:07,272 --> 00:01:14,531
♪ ♪
31
00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:27,911
Okay, Nine-Nine, say
hello to Michael Augustine,
32
00:01:27,945 --> 00:01:30,180
Brooklyn's most prolific
identity thief.
33
00:01:30,214 --> 00:01:32,115
Last week, he walked
into a government building
34
00:01:32,116 --> 00:01:33,183
and stole a computer
containing
35
00:01:33,184 --> 00:01:35,185
over 100,000
social security numbers.
36
00:01:35,219 --> 00:01:36,920
My C.I. says
that tonight Augustine
37
00:01:36,921 --> 00:01:39,789
will be handing off the laptop
to a buyer from China,
38
00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:42,192
AKA the Land of Dragons.
39
00:01:42,226 --> 00:01:44,594
Make sure that phrase
is not in your official report.
40
00:01:44,595 --> 00:01:46,796
Okay, sorry,
The Country of Dragons.
41
00:01:46,831 --> 00:01:48,798
I want you and Santiago
to tail Augustine
42
00:01:48,799 --> 00:01:51,367
until he makes the drop, and then
arrest him and the buyer.
43
00:01:51,368 --> 00:01:53,870
Sounds good, although I could
probably just take Boyle.
44
00:01:53,871 --> 00:01:56,005
I know Amy has a ton of work,
so...
45
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,507
- No, I don't.
- Really?
46
00:01:57,541 --> 00:01:59,642
I could have sworn
I overheard you telling Rosa,
47
00:01:59,643 --> 00:02:00,844
"Girlfriend, please.
48
00:02:00,845 --> 00:02:02,512
I got hella open cases."
49
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:03,880
That's something
you think I said?
50
00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:05,148
Word for word.
51
00:02:05,149 --> 00:02:06,216
No diggity, no doubt.
52
00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:07,417
That's enough.
53
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,452
Peralta and Santiago
will tail Augustine.
54
00:02:09,453 --> 00:02:12,288
Boyle and Diaz will join them
in a surveillance van
55
00:02:12,289 --> 00:02:13,723
unless you have a problem
with that.
56
00:02:13,724 --> 00:02:14,891
Sounds great.
57
00:02:14,892 --> 00:02:17,527
In the immortal words
of Amy Santiago,
58
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:19,496
"Girlfriend, please."
59
00:02:21,032 --> 00:02:22,999
Hey, did I do something to you?
60
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,434
Are you mad?
61
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,536
Is this because I brushed
all the crumbs off your desk?
62
00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:28,738
What?
No, I don't care about that.
63
00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:30,407
- Do you know where they are?
- In the trash.
64
00:02:30,408 --> 00:02:31,841
All right,
if it's not that,
65
00:02:31,842 --> 00:02:33,676
then why are you trying
to keep me off this case?
66
00:02:33,677 --> 00:02:35,111
Oh, that.
67
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:38,381
All right, look, the reason
that I didn't want
68
00:02:38,382 --> 00:02:41,251
to work with you is...
should I do this in an accent
69
00:02:41,252 --> 00:02:43,520
so that I can undercut some of
the awkwardness I'm feeling?
70
00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:45,088
- No.
- Good call.
71
00:02:45,089 --> 00:02:48,191
Remember when you told me that
you didn't want to date cops?
72
00:02:48,225 --> 00:02:50,994
That really bummed me out, man.
73
00:02:51,028 --> 00:02:52,929
- Jamaican?
- Yeah, it was a bad choice.
74
00:02:52,930 --> 00:02:54,831
I'm much better at German.
75
00:02:54,832 --> 00:02:56,066
All right, fine.
76
00:02:56,067 --> 00:02:58,735
I was kind of thinking
about asking you out.
77
00:02:58,769 --> 00:03:01,171
Oh, okay.
78
00:03:01,172 --> 00:03:02,706
But I know that
that's not what you want,
79
00:03:02,740 --> 00:03:04,240
and I totally get it.
80
00:03:04,241 --> 00:03:07,444
I think it just took me a while
to totally-totally get it,
81
00:03:07,445 --> 00:03:09,079
and now I totally get it.
82
00:03:09,113 --> 00:03:11,181
Jake, this is weird.
83
00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:12,749
The whole point of me
not dating cops
84
00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:14,384
is so it wouldn't be weird
at work.
85
00:03:14,418 --> 00:03:16,753
Okay, so let's just
make it not weird, right?
86
00:03:16,787 --> 00:03:19,089
This is a case; we work cases
together all the time,
87
00:03:19,090 --> 00:03:23,093
and we're really good at it, so,
you know, we're professionals.
88
00:03:23,127 --> 00:03:25,161
That's all I want,
for us to be professional.
89
00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:26,463
We're in agreement.
90
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:30,066
It will be good and professional.
91
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:34,004
Come in and shut the door.
92
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,172
I have some news, which you
must promise to keep secret.
93
00:03:36,173 --> 00:03:38,308
Madeline Wuntch is making me
head of public relations
94
00:03:38,309 --> 00:03:39,843
for the NYPD.
95
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:41,711
I'm being forced
out of the Nine-Nine.
96
00:03:41,746 --> 00:03:43,213
I don't wish to make
a big deal of it,
97
00:03:43,214 --> 00:03:45,815
so please limit your reactions
to one second; go.
98
00:03:45,816 --> 00:03:47,283
- What in the world?
- Are you kidding?
99
00:03:47,284 --> 00:03:48,284
That's plenty.
100
00:03:48,285 --> 00:03:49,486
You can't leave us.
101
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,021
I'm not going anywhere.
102
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:53,289
Madeline's not some
invincible succubus.
103
00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:55,725
She's a regular succubus,
and she can be defeated.
104
00:03:55,726 --> 00:03:57,994
We just need to find the letter.
105
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,362
What letter?
106
00:03:59,363 --> 00:04:01,564
Before our current
police commissioner was hired,
107
00:04:01,565 --> 00:04:04,334
a mutual friend told me Madeline
wrote a letter to the mayor
108
00:04:04,335 --> 00:04:06,069
telling him it was a mistake.
109
00:04:06,103 --> 00:04:11,274
She apparently called her
now-boss a "simpering buffoon".
110
00:04:11,309 --> 00:04:13,510
Amateur; always say
your insults to someone's face.
111
00:04:13,511 --> 00:04:14,911
No paper trail.
112
00:04:14,946 --> 00:04:17,981
A copy of that letter exists
in the mayor's archives.
113
00:04:17,982 --> 00:04:20,583
I can't go snooping around
without alerting Madeline,
114
00:04:20,584 --> 00:04:24,054
so it won't be easy,
and we don't have much time,
115
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,557
but I need you
to find that letter.
116
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:28,525
Are you with me?
117
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,160
Oh, hell yeah.
118
00:04:30,194 --> 00:04:32,028
I'm turning my phone
into airplane mode.
119
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,631
Oh, my God, she doesn't even
do that on airplanes.
120
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,199
Rosa,
121
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,768
I know you don't like anyone
wishing you a happy birthday,
122
00:04:38,769 --> 00:04:41,004
so crappy day to you.
123
00:04:41,038 --> 00:04:42,906
Still too much.
124
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:44,541
I assume you're not doing
anything to celebrate tonight.
125
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,109
Anyone over the age
of six celebrating
126
00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,644
a birthday should go to hell.
127
00:04:47,645 --> 00:04:50,513
So since you're free,
I need your help moving
128
00:04:50,514 --> 00:04:52,716
this old Ms. Pac-Man machine
I just bought.
129
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,551
Why are you so obsessed
with that game?
130
00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:57,320
Because it's the sexiest
video game ever.
131
00:04:57,321 --> 00:04:59,389
She's insatiable, Rosa.
132
00:04:59,390 --> 00:05:01,458
Insatiable.
Insatiab...
133
00:05:01,492 --> 00:05:02,759
Stop saying "insatiable."
134
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,661
Anyway, I bought
this old machine from a bar,
135
00:05:04,662 --> 00:05:06,196
and I was hoping
you'd help me move it.
136
00:05:07,565 --> 00:05:10,333
- You want me to go to a bar?
- Mm-hmm.
137
00:05:10,334 --> 00:05:12,102
You are obviously trying
to get me
138
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,236
to go to a surprise party.
139
00:05:13,237 --> 00:05:14,671
Did Marcus put you up to this?
140
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:17,407
What?
No, that's crazy talking.
141
00:05:17,408 --> 00:05:19,242
We just need to be there
at exactly 9:45 p.m.
142
00:05:19,243 --> 00:05:20,744
and not a minute earlier.
143
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:23,113
Also, there's a particular door
I want us to enter through.
144
00:05:28,185 --> 00:05:29,619
Why is he getting out here?
145
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,821
I thought your C.I. said the
drop was happening in a park.
146
00:05:31,822 --> 00:05:33,823
Maybe he's having dinner
with his sidepiece first.
147
00:05:33,858 --> 00:05:35,525
Augustine has the laptop
with him.
148
00:05:35,526 --> 00:05:36,993
We should just arrest him
right here.
149
00:05:36,994 --> 00:05:38,395
No, the buyer's
the bigger collar.
150
00:05:38,396 --> 00:05:40,397
We've got to follow him in
and wait for the handoff.
151
00:05:40,398 --> 00:05:41,865
Okay, if you're going in,
152
00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:44,301
I've heard this place has
an amazing bone marrow custard.
153
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,236
Not that I've ever
had a bad one.
154
00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:47,938
No.
All right, let's go.
155
00:05:47,939 --> 00:05:49,372
No, wait, we look like cops.
156
00:05:49,373 --> 00:05:53,043
We're never gonna blend in
dressed like this.
157
00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:55,545
Okay, there, how's that?
158
00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:56,980
Uh, I don't know.
159
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,215
All I see is clothes hanging off
of a genderless blob.
160
00:05:59,216 --> 00:06:01,418
You look fine.
Here, wear this.
161
00:06:01,419 --> 00:06:02,852
Jake, you need a jacket
or something.
162
00:06:02,887 --> 00:06:05,121
Well, Scully left
his sports coat back there.
163
00:06:05,122 --> 00:06:07,223
Oh, but it will never fit
Jake's athletic body.
164
00:06:07,224 --> 00:06:09,759
- Unless...
- No, I don't want to do that.
165
00:06:09,794 --> 00:06:11,394
- You have to.
- I'm not gonna do it.
166
00:06:11,429 --> 00:06:12,462
You're doing it.
167
00:06:12,496 --> 00:06:13,730
What?
What do you have to do?
168
00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:14,764
Don Johnson it.
169
00:06:14,799 --> 00:06:15,966
Don Johnson it!
170
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:23,306
♪ ♪
171
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,674
I look like an idiot.
172
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,876
I didn't even have time
to lotion my forearms.
173
00:06:26,911 --> 00:06:29,312
It's so weird
wearing Rosa's jacket.
174
00:06:29,313 --> 00:06:31,047
There's a piece of barbed wire
in the pocket.
175
00:06:31,082 --> 00:06:32,415
Cool.
176
00:06:32,416 --> 00:06:34,784
All right, do you have a visual on...
the hostess stand?
177
00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:37,254
Hi.
Table for two, please.
178
00:06:37,288 --> 00:06:39,289
I'm so sorry.
There's nothing available.
179
00:06:39,323 --> 00:06:40,423
We're totally booked up.
180
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:43,360
Oh, no, that's horrible.
181
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,329
Tonight's a really important
night for us.
182
00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,098
Johnny and I just got engaged,
183
00:06:48,099 --> 00:06:50,780
and this is where
our first date was.
184
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:53,970
Oh, yeah, it would mean
so much to Dora and me.
185
00:06:53,971 --> 00:06:55,438
I would have made a reservation,
186
00:06:55,439 --> 00:06:57,941
but I didn't know
if she was gonna say yes, so...
187
00:06:57,942 --> 00:07:01,945
Oh, I love how nervous you were,
you little goose.
188
00:07:01,946 --> 00:07:03,580
You are just so sweet
together.
189
00:07:03,581 --> 00:07:06,750
You know, I'm sure I can
find room for two young lovers.
190
00:07:06,751 --> 00:07:11,637
Yeah, we are lovers...
together... in beds.
191
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:13,027
Okay.
192
00:07:14,304 --> 00:07:15,404
Thank you so much for waiting.
193
00:07:15,405 --> 00:07:17,206
- Your table is almost ready.
- Great.
194
00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:18,741
Sorry about springing
the engagement
195
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,009
and romantic stuff on you.
196
00:07:20,043 --> 00:07:21,377
No, no, no.
That was great.
197
00:07:21,378 --> 00:07:23,212
I mean,
it's what got us in here.
198
00:07:23,213 --> 00:07:25,114
Cheek kiss was a bit much.
Very wet.
199
00:07:25,115 --> 00:07:26,515
Well, I don't know
what to tell you.
200
00:07:26,516 --> 00:07:27,983
Dora's sloppy.
201
00:07:27,984 --> 00:07:30,219
Okay,
and if you'll just follow me.
202
00:07:30,253 --> 00:07:32,354
Well, the honeymoon's over,
Dora.
203
00:07:32,355 --> 00:07:33,989
We're back
to being Jake and Amy,
204
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:35,858
two normal cops working a job.
205
00:07:35,859 --> 00:07:37,026
All right,
there you go.
206
00:07:37,027 --> 00:07:38,294
Thanks.
207
00:07:38,295 --> 00:07:40,262
You're the couple
that just got engaged.
208
00:07:40,297 --> 00:07:45,467
That's us, Johnny and Dora,
a couple for sure.
209
00:07:48,939 --> 00:07:51,975
Okay, according to my sources
in the assistant community,
210
00:07:51,976 --> 00:07:55,845
the letter is right here
in the fourth-floor archives,
211
00:07:55,846 --> 00:07:57,914
cabinet J-13.
212
00:07:57,948 --> 00:07:59,516
Nice job.
What's the plan?
213
00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,050
You sneak in
and get the letter.
214
00:08:01,051 --> 00:08:02,819
I'll distract the file clerk.
215
00:08:02,820 --> 00:08:05,355
Apparently, he's very
into bird watching,
216
00:08:05,356 --> 00:08:08,024
so talking to a woman
should blow his mind.
217
00:08:08,025 --> 00:08:12,162
And talking to this woman,
it could kill him.
218
00:08:12,196 --> 00:08:14,030
Here, can you look at this map
of a park
219
00:08:14,031 --> 00:08:16,332
and tell me
where them hot birds hang out?
220
00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:19,436
Well, you're gonna want to,
uh, avoid the, uh,
221
00:08:19,470 --> 00:08:22,439
great lawn, because
it's basically just grackles.
222
00:08:22,473 --> 00:08:24,374
- Ugh, grackles?
- Yeah.
223
00:08:24,408 --> 00:08:25,608
I hate grackles.
224
00:08:25,609 --> 00:08:26,976
They're the worst.
225
00:08:27,011 --> 00:08:30,513
Well, a lot of people think
grackles are just a common bird
226
00:08:30,514 --> 00:08:31,714
up here,
but you know what?
227
00:08:31,715 --> 00:08:33,783
On the West Coast
they don't get grackles.
228
00:08:33,818 --> 00:08:36,786
Can you give some more info
229
00:08:36,787 --> 00:08:39,055
for a novice bird watcher
such as myself?
230
00:08:39,090 --> 00:08:40,590
You have got to know
the difference
231
00:08:40,591 --> 00:08:41,991
between your water birds.
232
00:08:42,026 --> 00:08:44,027
I mean, so many people
don't know the difference
233
00:08:44,028 --> 00:08:47,163
between an anhinga and a snake
bird and a swamp hawk.
234
00:08:47,198 --> 00:08:51,468
A lot of people don't know
they're all the same bird.
235
00:08:51,502 --> 00:08:53,169
Are those the ones
that sound like Rihanna
236
00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:54,671
kind of when they sing?
237
00:08:54,672 --> 00:08:56,539
I'm not familiar
with who that is.
238
00:08:56,574 --> 00:08:57,941
They're like, "Eh, eh."
239
00:08:57,942 --> 00:09:00,844
That sounds like that might be
a crested woodpecker.
240
00:09:00,878 --> 00:09:02,178
Or is it more like...
241
00:09:02,179 --> 00:09:04,581
Well,
that's a crested titmouse maybe?
242
00:09:04,615 --> 00:09:06,349
Oh, my God, that's it.
243
00:09:06,350 --> 00:09:09,385
Wayne, you are
a damn treasure trove.
244
00:09:10,921 --> 00:09:12,021
We got the letter.
245
00:09:12,056 --> 00:09:13,223
Well done.
246
00:09:13,224 --> 00:09:16,593
Now get me Madeline
and a bucket of water.
247
00:09:16,594 --> 00:09:19,028
It's time to melt a witch.
248
00:09:19,063 --> 00:09:20,397
Who else is going?
249
00:09:20,431 --> 00:09:23,366
Rosa, listen to me,
there is no party.
250
00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:25,001
Just get off my doughnut
already.
251
00:09:25,035 --> 00:09:26,603
Don't lie to me, Boyle,
252
00:09:26,604 --> 00:09:29,105
or you will be eating your bone
marrow custard through a straw.
253
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:30,874
That's exactly how you're
supposed to eat bone marrow...
254
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,142
- Charles!
- Ah!
255
00:09:32,143 --> 00:09:33,209
All right, there's a party.
256
00:09:33,244 --> 00:09:34,444
I can't give you details.
257
00:09:34,478 --> 00:09:35,845
All I can say is I know you,
258
00:09:35,846 --> 00:09:37,213
and I know you'll have
a good time.
259
00:09:37,248 --> 00:09:39,549
If you knew me, you'd know
I hate surprise parties,
260
00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:42,218
so clearly
you don't know me at all.
261
00:09:42,253 --> 00:09:44,454
What?
We're friends.
262
00:09:44,455 --> 00:09:46,990
I was building up to calling you
"Ro-ro" one of these days.
263
00:09:46,991 --> 00:09:48,391
That will never happen.
264
00:09:48,392 --> 00:09:50,093
In fact, you just lost "Rosa"
privileges.
265
00:09:50,094 --> 00:09:52,195
From now on, you can
call me "Diaz" or "Hey, you."
266
00:09:52,229 --> 00:09:53,797
Come on, Rosa.
267
00:09:53,831 --> 00:09:54,931
Come on, hey, you.
268
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,702
Wow,
champagne and oysters.
269
00:09:58,703 --> 00:10:00,270
You really shouldn't have,
guys.
270
00:10:00,304 --> 00:10:02,138
Well, it's a special night.
271
00:10:02,139 --> 00:10:03,239
So when did you guys meet?
272
00:10:03,274 --> 00:10:05,175
- Last year.
- Five years ago.
273
00:10:05,176 --> 00:10:07,911
We first met five years ago,
274
00:10:07,912 --> 00:10:09,412
but we don't count it,
because...
275
00:10:09,447 --> 00:10:12,082
I was dating a speedboat model
at the time.
276
00:10:12,116 --> 00:10:14,751
And I was dating
a super handsome comptroller
277
00:10:14,752 --> 00:10:16,286
of a major U.S. city.
278
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,688
Anyways, about a year ago, we
bumped into each other at a bar,
279
00:10:18,689 --> 00:10:21,558
and we haven't been able to keep
our hands off each other since.
280
00:10:21,592 --> 00:10:22,592
Mm.
281
00:10:22,593 --> 00:10:25,161
So how did you know
she was the one?
282
00:10:25,196 --> 00:10:26,496
I'd love to answer that.
283
00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:31,901
Um, you know, just whenever
I look at her face
284
00:10:31,936 --> 00:10:35,271
and the attached physique.
285
00:10:35,306 --> 00:10:36,740
And you?
286
00:10:36,741 --> 00:10:38,341
Uh...
287
00:10:40,511 --> 00:10:42,846
He makes me laugh.
288
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:46,282
And, you know, there's really
no one else's opinion
289
00:10:46,283 --> 00:10:48,184
who I care about
more than hers, so...
290
00:10:49,954 --> 00:10:52,389
Okay, so enough chitchat
Let's see the ring.
291
00:10:53,657 --> 00:10:55,658
I don't have it on me.
292
00:10:55,693 --> 00:10:58,294
She has gigantic fingers.
293
00:10:59,864 --> 00:11:02,065
What I mean to say
is that the ring I got
294
00:11:02,066 --> 00:11:04,000
would never have fit
on her fingers,
295
00:11:04,001 --> 00:11:07,671
because they are that
of a giant, behemoth person.
296
00:11:13,744 --> 00:11:15,145
Madeline,
thank you for coming.
297
00:11:15,146 --> 00:11:17,480
Raymond, always a pleasure
to call on a vanquished foe.
298
00:11:17,515 --> 00:11:19,082
I feel like
Jackie Joyner-Kersee
299
00:11:19,116 --> 00:11:21,151
congratulating one
of the other slower runners.
300
00:11:21,185 --> 00:11:22,152
Buckle up.
301
00:11:22,186 --> 00:11:23,820
It's gonna be
a hell of a ride.
302
00:11:23,821 --> 00:11:25,021
Care to sit?
303
00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:26,022
I'm sure
you'd like to take some weight
304
00:11:26,023 --> 00:11:27,324
off your cloven hooves.
305
00:11:27,325 --> 00:11:28,458
Calling me the devil?
306
00:11:28,459 --> 00:11:29,626
How original, Raymond.
307
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:32,195
Actually I was calling
you a goat, you goat.
308
00:11:32,229 --> 00:11:35,031
Oh.
309
00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:36,700
I'd like to talk
about my promotion.
310
00:11:36,734 --> 00:11:37,967
Very well, but first,
311
00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:40,136
how do I know
you're not wearing a wire?
312
00:11:40,137 --> 00:11:41,271
I need to pat you down.
313
00:11:42,406 --> 00:11:43,440
If you must.
314
00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,384
What is going on?
315
00:11:54,385 --> 00:11:56,486
Shh.
I'm watching something.
316
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,488
Can you get the car
from the valet, babe?
317
00:11:58,522 --> 00:12:00,724
I'm gonna in the back
and say hi to the chef.
318
00:12:03,861 --> 00:12:05,161
Good luck
on your wedding, guys.
319
00:12:05,162 --> 00:12:07,664
Oh, have fun
on your honeymoon.
320
00:12:07,698 --> 00:12:10,000
We will.
We're going to Waco, Texas.
321
00:12:10,034 --> 00:12:13,003
Huh.
Okay, bye.
322
00:12:13,004 --> 00:12:14,571
Bye.
323
00:12:14,572 --> 00:12:15,705
- Waco, Texas?
- I don't know.
324
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,173
It was just on Dateline.
325
00:12:17,174 --> 00:12:19,142
All right, well, Augustine took
the laptop case with him.
326
00:12:19,143 --> 00:12:20,810
He's gonna make the drop.
Let's go.
327
00:12:22,213 --> 00:12:24,481
Look, there's the buyer.
328
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:27,050
Or maybe he's just actually
saying hi to the chef?
329
00:12:27,084 --> 00:12:28,618
Why isn't he making
the handoff?
330
00:12:28,619 --> 00:12:29,853
Oh, crap, he saw us.
331
00:12:29,887 --> 00:12:32,255
Uh,...
332
00:12:34,725 --> 00:12:35,892
Excuse me.
333
00:12:35,893 --> 00:12:37,027
Oh, hey.
334
00:12:37,061 --> 00:12:40,063
We were just looking
for a place to, uh...
335
00:12:40,064 --> 00:12:41,431
Boink.
336
00:12:41,432 --> 00:12:43,133
Yep. Boink.
337
00:12:43,134 --> 00:12:45,735
That's my preferred term
for it as well.
338
00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:46,770
I get it.
339
00:12:46,771 --> 00:12:49,072
Newly engaged kids.
Enjoy.
340
00:12:49,106 --> 00:12:51,474
Thanks.
341
00:12:53,744 --> 00:12:54,911
Good. Good, good, good, good.
342
00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:55,979
We kept our cover intact.
Ce work.
343
00:12:56,013 --> 00:12:57,247
Quick, professional thinking
out there.
344
00:12:57,248 --> 00:12:58,648
Very quick
Very professional.
345
00:12:58,683 --> 00:13:00,250
- Detective.
- Detective.
346
00:13:00,284 --> 00:13:02,319
- Let's get back on the case.
- Yes.
347
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,023
So how was the restaurant?
348
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,558
Such a normal time!
349
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,893
Why are you being weird?
350
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:15,928
Amy and I kissed.
351
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,529
What?
352
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,098
To keep our cover from being
blown; we didn't have a choice.
353
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,000
Tell me everything!
354
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,369
Charles, it was just a kiss,
okay?
355
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:25,904
It was for work.
It was nothing.
356
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,473
Yeah, who cares about a kiss?
357
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,141
Call me if you grab
each other's asses.
358
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,542
He's pulling over.
It's going down.
359
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,411
You guys are so naive.
360
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,612
It's never nothing.
361
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,948
In high school, I played
Daddy Warbucks in Annie,
362
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,816
Becca Murse played Annie,
363
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,451
and we were supposed
to hug onstage.
364
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,687
And at first,
that seemed like nothing too,
365
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,890
but by opening night,
we were full-on making out.
366
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,058
As Daddy Warbucks and Annie?
367
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,092
Mm-hmm.
368
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,794
The audience was not on board.
369
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,095
Playwright sued the school.
370
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,663
Guys, guys,
it's not a handoff.
371
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,764
He's leaving the package.
372
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,836
Okay, you and Rosa
follow Augustine.
373
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,771
Right, and you and Amy
follow your hearts.
374
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,507
No, we're gonna stay
with the package.
375
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:02,741
And each other forever.
376
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,176
Come on, man!
377
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:06,311
So here's how I see this
going down.
378
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,880
You plead for your job back.
I refuse.
379
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,281
You start weeping
like a war widow.
380
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,516
Does that sound about right?
381
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,685
Don't count
your gross fish babies
382
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,622
before they've hatched,
Madeline.
383
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:22,928
How did you get this?
384
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,863
Gina and Terry got it,
you grackle.
385
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,665
It doesn't matter
how I got it.
386
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:30,035
Sorry, sir, didn't realize that
was how you wanted to play it.
387
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:32,805
I see you've got an audience
for this little stunt?
388
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:35,641
Yes, well, who wouldn't want
to see a man fight a crocodile?
389
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:40,245
Now, Madeline, before one of us
starts weeping like a war widow,
390
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,080
would you like to give me
my precinct back?
391
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,859
It's not that simple; I can't
just reverse your promotion.
392
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:49,621
You have until tomorrow,
you grackle.
393
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,024
We can't pull him over
this close to the drop site.
394
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,059
It'll alert the buyer.
I say we follow him for a mile.
395
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,360
Copy that.
396
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:56,762
How's your mom enjoying
the new phone you got her
397
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,330
for her birthday
on March 16th?
398
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,133
Dude, stop saying random facts
to try to prove you know me.
399
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:02,568
That's not what I'm doing.
400
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,136
I'm simply making small talk
with my friend Rosa,
401
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,170
who went skydiving once.
402
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:06,371
Enough!
403
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,173
I'm going to the dumb party
but only because
404
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,341
I don't want to hurt Marcus.
405
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:10,776
I'm still super mad at you.
406
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,644
Mm, like how you're still
super mad at Gilmore Girls
407
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,979
for how the finale went down?
408
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:17,649
Oh, I just want to see
Lorelai happy, and shut up!
409
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:21,420
Ah, see? I knew you so well,
I knew it was co... ah!
410
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,727
Hey, seriously,
we're cool, right?
411
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,262
Yeah, totally.
412
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,164
- We're fine.
- Good.
413
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,565
Gosh, you know, I'm actually
a little bit hungry.
414
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,901
I never ended up eating
at that dumb fancy restaurant.
415
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:37,469
You know what I'm getting
on my way home?
416
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,837
Yeah, you're gonna
go to the Polish place
417
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,272
and get perogies,
potato pancakes,
418
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,373
and a cup of hot chocolate.
419
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:43,208
That's exactly
what I'm gonna get.
420
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:44,309
Yeah.
421
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,711
I will be having pizza,
422
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,946
two slices
of meat supreme from Tony's,
423
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,681
served display temperature.
424
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,517
Meat supreme
is a million red flags,
425
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,051
and eating it cold
is just insane.
426
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:54,286
No, no, no.
It's not cold.
427
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,754
- It's display temperature.
- Jake.
428
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,189
There's a difference, Amy.
429
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,224
No, Jake, he's looking at us.
430
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,427
- Well, this is happening.
- Huh?
431
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,636
NYPD! Freeze!
We are police colleagues!
432
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,947
You're under arrest.
This is a work event.
433
00:16:15,122 --> 00:16:17,591
Hey, can you sign
this arrest report
434
00:16:17,592 --> 00:16:18,825
for Augustine
and the buyer?
435
00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:20,160
Sure.
436
00:16:20,161 --> 00:16:21,695
Great.
437
00:16:22,897 --> 00:16:24,865
Man, I forgot how long
your signature takes.
438
00:16:24,866 --> 00:16:27,100
I'm just gonna watch Braveheart
on my phone real quick.
439
00:16:28,536 --> 00:16:30,604
Given the circumstances,
440
00:16:30,605 --> 00:16:32,739
I could see how
that might have seemed like
441
00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,140
flirty teasing
or something,
442
00:16:34,175 --> 00:16:36,510
but I was legit
being critical.
443
00:16:36,511 --> 00:16:37,577
You have a problem.
444
00:16:37,612 --> 00:16:40,747
No, even that sounded
like banter now.
445
00:16:40,748 --> 00:16:42,682
All right, there's only one way
out of this for me.
446
00:16:42,683 --> 00:16:44,150
I just got to get super cruel.
447
00:16:44,151 --> 00:16:46,286
Prepare to have your physical
flaws pointed out, Amy.
448
00:16:46,287 --> 00:16:48,955
I'm talking about your tall butt
and your weird elbows.
449
00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:50,524
Jake, it's okay.
450
00:16:50,558 --> 00:16:52,392
Thank you.
451
00:16:52,426 --> 00:16:54,194
This whole night
was really weird.
452
00:16:54,228 --> 00:16:55,228
I know.
453
00:16:55,229 --> 00:16:56,663
I just... ugh.
454
00:16:56,664 --> 00:16:58,865
I want everything
to go back how it was, you know?
455
00:16:58,866 --> 00:16:59,866
It's so awkward.
456
00:16:59,901 --> 00:17:01,568
- Yeah.
- And you're right.
457
00:17:01,569 --> 00:17:04,404
We shouldn't date cops,
'cause we're a great team.
458
00:17:04,405 --> 00:17:06,039
We work great together.
459
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,274
I don't want to mess that up.
460
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:09,042
Yeah, I don't want
everything to change.
461
00:17:09,076 --> 00:17:10,210
Yeah, me neither.
462
00:17:10,244 --> 00:17:13,980
Okay, then that's that,
Detective Peralta.
463
00:17:14,015 --> 00:17:16,349
Detective Santiago.
464
00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:18,785
See you around the precinct.
465
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,253
Yep.
466
00:17:20,288 --> 00:17:22,289
Tall butt.
467
00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:24,591
Okay, before we go in,
468
00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:26,927
remember you have to pretend
to be surprised.
469
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:29,062
How's this?
Oh, my God.
470
00:17:29,063 --> 00:17:31,832
It's so much worse
than I imagined.
471
00:17:31,866 --> 00:17:33,900
The energy was great,
but the message was flawed.
472
00:17:33,935 --> 00:17:36,036
All right,
let's get this over with.
473
00:17:37,271 --> 00:17:39,172
Surprise.
474
00:17:39,173 --> 00:17:40,440
What's going on?
475
00:17:40,475 --> 00:17:42,476
I rented this entire bar
476
00:17:42,477 --> 00:17:45,979
so you and I could celebrate
with no people anywhere near us.
477
00:17:46,013 --> 00:17:48,014
I probably should have
hired a bartender, though.
478
00:17:48,015 --> 00:17:49,349
I have no idea
how to make drinks.
479
00:17:49,383 --> 00:17:50,484
This is incredible.
480
00:17:50,518 --> 00:17:52,385
It was all Charles' idea.
481
00:17:53,754 --> 00:17:54,921
I told you I knew you,
Ro-ro.
482
00:17:54,956 --> 00:17:58,325
Thank you.
483
00:17:58,326 --> 00:18:00,427
But never call me "Ro-ro" again.
484
00:18:00,461 --> 00:18:01,595
Oh, but I will.
485
00:18:01,596 --> 00:18:03,163
I've earned this.
486
00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:05,832
Happy b-day,
Ro-ro.
487
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,534
Whoo!
488
00:18:11,409 --> 00:18:13,410
Welcome, Madeline.
Have you thought things over?
489
00:18:13,411 --> 00:18:16,814
I have, but first, how do I
know you're not wearing a wire?
490
00:18:27,998 --> 00:18:31,441
So I've thought it over,
and perhaps you should go ahead
491
00:18:31,442 --> 00:18:33,498
and show that letter to the
commissioner.
492
00:18:33,499 --> 00:18:35,033
And let him fire you?
493
00:18:35,034 --> 00:18:36,334
I'll deny I wrote it.
494
00:18:36,335 --> 00:18:38,169
It will take months
to authenticate,
495
00:18:38,170 --> 00:18:39,471
which will give me
plenty of time
496
00:18:39,472 --> 00:18:41,640
to make some personnel changes
around here.
497
00:18:41,674 --> 00:18:44,976
There's an opening for a detective
down in Brighton Beach.
498
00:18:45,011 --> 00:18:46,911
I think I'll transfer Diaz
there.
499
00:18:46,946 --> 00:18:49,681
Detective Boyle I'll send
to Long Island City.
500
00:18:49,715 --> 00:18:52,517
Santiago will be a great fit
for Pelham Bay.
501
00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:57,055
And Peralta,
your little pet project,
502
00:18:57,056 --> 00:19:00,258
I'm gonna ship him off
to Staten Island.
503
00:19:00,259 --> 00:19:05,630
Hope he likes breaking up
tanning salon fistfights.
504
00:19:05,631 --> 00:19:09,167
Looks like you've got a decision
to make, Raymond.
505
00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:10,936
What are you gonna do?
506
00:19:10,970 --> 00:19:14,039
Squad, if I could have
your attention please?
507
00:19:15,807 --> 00:19:18,208
I am being transferred
to the public relations office.
508
00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:20,244
I'm leaving the Nine-Nine
effective immediately.
509
00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:22,413
- What the hell?
- I don't understand.
510
00:19:22,447 --> 00:19:24,181
- What the hell?
- Why are you doing this?
511
00:19:24,215 --> 00:19:25,416
What the hell?
512
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:27,318
I want to say
it has been a pleasure
513
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,989
to have worked alongside all of
you for the past 21 1/2 months.
514
00:19:30,990 --> 00:19:32,924
I'm sorry
for getting so emotional.
515
00:19:32,959 --> 00:19:34,392
A pretty consistent tone,
actually.
516
00:19:34,427 --> 00:19:37,762
These have been the...
517
00:19:37,763 --> 00:19:40,865
these have been the best years
of my career.
518
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,300
Oh, no.
This is new.
519
00:19:42,301 --> 00:19:51,643
And I know that everyone of you
gave me everything you had,
520
00:19:51,644 --> 00:19:53,011
and I will never forget it.
521
00:19:53,012 --> 00:19:54,579
Go back to being robot captain.
522
00:19:54,614 --> 00:19:57,916
Meep-morp.
523
00:19:57,917 --> 00:19:59,417
Zeet.
524
00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:02,020
Dismissed.
525
00:20:08,327 --> 00:20:11,096
Sir!
526
00:20:11,097 --> 00:20:12,330
I'm coming with you.
527
00:20:12,365 --> 00:20:14,332
- Thank you, Gina.
- I'm also coming.
528
00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,134
Not necessary.
529
00:20:19,639 --> 00:20:21,373
- Hey.
- Hey.
530
00:20:21,374 --> 00:20:22,741
Thought I might find you
in here.
531
00:20:22,775 --> 00:20:25,076
I just needed to process
the captain's news.
532
00:20:25,111 --> 00:20:26,344
I feel so bad for him.
533
00:20:26,379 --> 00:20:27,679
So how are you holding up?
534
00:20:29,115 --> 00:20:31,116
I don't know.
I'm still in shock.
535
00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:32,951
You?
536
00:20:32,952 --> 00:20:35,787
Um, basically handling it the
way I dealt with my dad leaving,
537
00:20:35,788 --> 00:20:37,989
just repressing the hell
out of it.
538
00:20:41,294 --> 00:20:43,328
So a lot of change
around here, huh?
539
00:20:55,241 --> 00:20:57,409
Hey, Jake,
the new captain's here.
540
00:21:03,549 --> 00:21:04,916
Who do you think
it's gonna be?
541
00:21:04,917 --> 00:21:06,318
I have no idea.
542
00:21:06,319 --> 00:21:08,086
I bet it's me.
543
00:21:08,087 --> 00:21:10,055
I just hope I'm ready.
544
00:21:10,056 --> 00:21:11,189
Wow.
545
00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:12,557
Come on, guys.
546
00:21:12,558 --> 00:21:14,092
I know you're sad,
547
00:21:14,093 --> 00:21:16,528
but let's do our best to make
a good first impression here.
548
00:21:16,529 --> 00:21:17,529
Smart. Good call.
549
00:21:17,530 --> 00:21:20,599
Jake, you be up front.
550
00:21:22,435 --> 00:21:25,517
Okay, here we go.
551
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,943
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/