1
00:00:01,992 --> 00:00:03,627
Hey, Charles, want to grab
a beer before you go home?
2
00:00:03,660 --> 00:00:05,230
- Ooh, a yeast feast.
- Never mind.
3
00:00:05,262 --> 00:00:06,230
No, no, no, I want to go, it's just,
4
00:00:06,264 --> 00:00:08,432
there's a huge emergency
I have to deal with first.
5
00:00:08,465 --> 00:00:09,766
Oh, no. Is everything okay?
6
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:10,835
It's about my food truck.
7
00:00:10,868 --> 00:00:12,236
I have to get a parking spot.
8
00:00:12,269 --> 00:00:13,503
Oh. That doesn't sound as intense
9
00:00:13,537 --> 00:00:14,839
as you were making it out to be.
10
00:00:14,871 --> 00:00:17,242
- Move your ass, you old bitch!
- What is happening?
11
00:00:17,274 --> 00:00:18,575
We have to get there by 7:00
12
00:00:18,609 --> 00:00:20,445
when they lift the parking restrictions.
13
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:23,224
It's the best spot in Brooklyn,
and everyone wants it.
14
00:00:23,249 --> 00:00:24,584
Get the hell out of the way!
15
00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:30,590
Charles, I highly doubt
the entire food truck industry
16
00:00:30,622 --> 00:00:32,057
is racing to get into this one spot.
17
00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:33,592
It's not "Mad Max."
18
00:00:33,625 --> 00:00:34,860
We're neck and neck with rice pudding.
19
00:00:34,893 --> 00:00:36,629
You got Korean tacos on your six.
20
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,864
Oh, my God, it's real.
We're on the Fury Road.
21
00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:41,167
Witness me, blood bag!
22
00:00:41,199 --> 00:00:42,535
Hold on tight!
23
00:00:54,134 --> 00:00:56,304
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
24
00:01:14,285 --> 00:01:16,643
That was the most stressful
thing I've ever gone through,
25
00:01:16,668 --> 00:01:18,137
and I was wrongfully imprisoned
last year.
26
00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:19,572
That was fun.
27
00:01:19,605 --> 00:01:22,007
Every aspect of owning
a food truck is fun.
28
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,676
It is fun, fun, fun.
29
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,623
What the hell do you want, Troy?
30
00:01:25,648 --> 00:01:26,857
You stole my spot, you son of a bitch!
31
00:01:26,891 --> 00:01:28,160
Oh, go on, get out of here.
32
00:01:28,192 --> 00:01:29,995
- You're just jealous.
- I'm not going anywhere! I made a signal,
33
00:01:30,028 --> 00:01:31,329
- and you made an illegal U-turn!
- Give me a break.
34
00:01:31,361 --> 00:01:33,030
- I should call the cops!
- Oh, are you gonna
35
00:01:33,064 --> 00:01:34,299
- call the cops?
- Yeah, I'm gonna call the cops!
36
00:01:34,332 --> 00:01:35,967
- I am the cops!
- Oh, you're a cop now?
37
00:01:35,999 --> 00:01:36,968
Why don't you go back
to your garbage truck
38
00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:38,303
and cook some pudding?
39
00:01:38,335 --> 00:01:39,304
You're gonna regret this.
40
00:01:39,337 --> 00:01:41,505
Kill yourself, Troy!
41
00:01:41,538 --> 00:01:43,308
Jake, I have a confession to make.
42
00:01:43,341 --> 00:01:45,323
The food truck is kind of
stressing me out.
43
00:01:47,412 --> 00:01:49,955
Bad news, Captain.
A water main burst downtown.
44
00:01:50,034 --> 00:01:51,970
- There's been several injuries.
- Oh, that's unfortunate.
45
00:01:52,004 --> 00:01:53,873
And the victims are
in our blah-blah-blah,
46
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,240
but tell him the real tragedy, Terry.
47
00:01:55,273 --> 00:01:56,374
Olivia Crawford...
48
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,210
AKA your main commish competish.
49
00:01:58,242 --> 00:02:00,745
Tweeted a statement addressing
the water main break,
50
00:02:00,778 --> 00:02:03,114
and she's been retweeted by the mayor.
51
00:02:03,147 --> 00:02:05,116
"Kudos to our brave officers"...
52
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:07,085
- Hey, now.
- Whoa! What is going on?
53
00:02:07,118 --> 00:02:08,754
It's in all caps.
54
00:02:08,786 --> 00:02:10,388
Anyway, I don't see
how this is bad news.
55
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,124
Because the commissioner race,
56
00:02:12,156 --> 00:02:13,291
like all of life,
57
00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:14,760
is a popularity contest,
58
00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:17,296
and Olivia is sitting
at the hot senior table
59
00:02:17,328 --> 00:02:20,099
whilst you are eating lunch alone.
60
00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:23,201
If the mayor wants to make me
the next NYPD commissioner,
61
00:02:23,234 --> 00:02:25,438
it'll be because of my record
and my qualifications,
62
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:27,439
not my social media presence.
63
00:02:27,472 --> 00:02:29,208
- This is a serious job.
- I know.
64
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,043
But like it or not,
the decision is political,
65
00:02:32,077 --> 00:02:34,914
and social media
is a part of politics now.
66
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,915
- You need a Twitter account.
- Not gonna happen.
67
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,784
The whole thing is inane.
68
00:02:38,816 --> 00:02:41,320
Besides, 140 characters is far more
69
00:02:41,352 --> 00:02:42,821
than anyone needs to make a point.
70
00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:45,323
They actually upped it to 280.
71
00:02:45,357 --> 00:02:46,826
Oh, good God.
72
00:02:46,858 --> 00:02:48,194
I'm so miserable, Jake.
73
00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:50,195
The truck is hemorrhaging money.
I'm going bankrupt.
74
00:02:50,228 --> 00:02:51,996
- I never see my family.
- All right, look.
75
00:02:52,029 --> 00:02:54,399
You just have to find a way
to reduce expenses.
76
00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:56,268
I've started saving $200 a month
77
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,803
just by buying "John Wick"
78
00:02:57,835 --> 00:02:59,137
instead of renting it every two nights.
79
00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:00,106
I have cut costs.
80
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,507
I fired my only employee, Ted,
which was awful.
81
00:03:02,541 --> 00:03:04,076
Okay, look, I hate to ask this,
82
00:03:04,108 --> 00:03:05,945
but have you considered
shutting the truck down?
83
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,846
You're always bragging about
how much Boyles love to give up.
84
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,482
I can't. I'm in so much debt.
85
00:03:09,514 --> 00:03:11,149
I took out a loan for the truck.
86
00:03:11,183 --> 00:03:12,852
I got Amy to invest.
87
00:03:12,885 --> 00:03:15,087
No, the only way out
of this hole is to keep digging.
88
00:03:15,119 --> 00:03:17,088
That's not how holes work...
title of your sex tape...
89
00:03:17,121 --> 00:03:18,423
Charles, look, you're gonna
90
00:03:18,457 --> 00:03:20,126
find your way out of this, I swear.
91
00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:21,861
- It's all gonna work out.
- You're right.
92
00:03:21,893 --> 00:03:24,063
You know, if I just work hard
and stay positive,
93
00:03:24,095 --> 00:03:25,463
I'm sure it'll be a huge success
94
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:26,766
and everything will be okay.
95
00:03:26,798 --> 00:03:27,932
There you go.
96
00:03:29,802 --> 00:03:31,470
Hello? Oh.
97
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,905
Okay. No, thank you.
98
00:03:33,939 --> 00:03:36,007
So my truck burned down.
99
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,109
Hey.
100
00:03:37,142 --> 00:03:38,944
Someone robbed a bodega on 4th Street.
101
00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:40,278
It's the fifth one this week.
102
00:03:40,311 --> 00:03:42,248
It's so sad that
someone's targeting bodegas.
103
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,016
They're part of the fabric of New York.
104
00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:45,817
- You shop at them a lot?
- No. They overcharge
105
00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:46,952
for everything, and they sell rat poison
106
00:03:46,984 --> 00:03:48,254
right next to the bananas.
107
00:03:48,286 --> 00:03:50,022
Yeah, they're gross.
I hope they never change.
108
00:03:50,054 --> 00:03:51,256
Anyway, Holt wants us to interview
109
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:52,924
some of the bodega owners and figure out
110
00:03:52,958 --> 00:03:54,493
where to assign
additional uniformed officers.
111
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:56,028
I put a map up on the server...
112
00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,962
No! Just email it to me.
113
00:03:57,995 --> 00:03:59,798
I hate servers. Bye!
114
00:03:59,832 --> 00:04:01,132
Wait. Why'd you close
your laptop so fast?
115
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:02,935
- What are you hiding?
- Nurthing.
116
00:04:02,968 --> 00:04:04,203
- You're hiding something.
- What?
117
00:04:04,236 --> 00:04:06,471
- Just 'cause I said "nurthing"?
- Yes.
118
00:04:06,505 --> 00:04:08,808
No!
119
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,909
Aww, you're looking at wedding dresses?
120
00:04:10,942 --> 00:04:12,877
- That one's dope.
- That's not what I was doing.
121
00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:14,412
My computer must've gone
to this site on its own.
122
00:04:14,446 --> 00:04:16,482
- How is that possible?
- It's broken, Y2K.
123
00:04:16,514 --> 00:04:17,817
I'll fix it.
124
00:04:18,983 --> 00:04:20,351
There, it's fixed.
125
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,021
- You're weird.
- I know.
126
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,522
Oh, God. My truck.
127
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,090
This truck was my baby!
128
00:04:25,123 --> 00:04:26,591
All right, look, Charles,
I know you're upset,
129
00:04:26,625 --> 00:04:28,027
but maybe there's a silver lining here.
130
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,328
- I mean, you had insurance, right?
- Yeah. I already called them.
131
00:04:30,361 --> 00:04:31,815
So maybe you'll get some money for this,
132
00:04:31,846 --> 00:04:33,899
and you can pay off your debts,
starting with Amy.
133
00:04:33,931 --> 00:04:35,500
I'm sorry, that was selfish.
Forget I said it.
134
00:04:35,534 --> 00:04:37,336
You can pay off your debts,
starting with Amy.
135
00:04:37,368 --> 00:04:38,503
Whoops, I did it again.
136
00:04:38,536 --> 00:04:40,171
You're right. This is my way out.
137
00:04:40,204 --> 00:04:41,173
It's a miracle.
138
00:04:41,205 --> 00:04:42,307
Oh, my God!
139
00:04:42,341 --> 00:04:43,976
Jake? Boyle?
140
00:04:44,009 --> 00:04:45,511
Adrian. What are you doing here?
141
00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:46,611
I'm an insurance investigator now.
142
00:04:46,644 --> 00:04:48,079
I thought you were in Alaska.
143
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,115
Oh, yeah, I was,
after Rosa and I broke up,
144
00:04:50,147 --> 00:04:51,316
but then I accidentally killed
145
00:04:51,349 --> 00:04:53,885
a "protected buffalo"... self-defense.
146
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,555
Next thing I know, Fish and Game
are all over my ass.
147
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,189
I ended up in a fight with a bear,
148
00:04:58,223 --> 00:05:00,292
and I had to think to myself,
why am I even here?
149
00:05:00,325 --> 00:05:02,127
Wait a minute. You fought a bear?
150
00:05:02,159 --> 00:05:03,462
Big time. The trick on that:
151
00:05:03,495 --> 00:05:05,331
head-butt him in the penis,
push him over a cliff.
152
00:05:05,363 --> 00:05:06,931
Ah, I bet that works
with a lot of animals.
153
00:05:06,964 --> 00:05:08,166
Only the male ones.
154
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,534
- Learned that the hard way.
- Hmm.
155
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:11,002
Anyway, you know that if you guys want
156
00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:12,637
to get in touch with me,
there's easier ways
157
00:05:12,671 --> 00:05:14,305
than burning down your truck, right?
158
00:05:14,339 --> 00:05:16,208
What? Burning down my truck?
159
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,510
Yeah, it's obviously arson, you did it,
160
00:05:18,543 --> 00:05:19,644
you're not gonna get a dime
161
00:05:19,678 --> 00:05:21,213
and are probably gonna go to jail.
162
00:05:21,245 --> 00:05:23,790
So... what's going on with you guys?
163
00:05:23,815 --> 00:05:26,165
Give me that juicy
Nine-Nine goss, am I right?
164
00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:32,741
This is insane.
165
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,984
I mean, Charles loved this truck.
It's his baby.
166
00:05:35,009 --> 00:05:36,208
There's no way he'd burn it down.
167
00:05:36,262 --> 00:05:37,682
The world is a messed up place, Jake.
168
00:05:37,714 --> 00:05:38,715
People kill their babies.
169
00:05:38,748 --> 00:05:39,950
Babies kill their parents.
170
00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:41,652
It's the circle of life.
171
00:05:41,685 --> 00:05:44,055
- That was clearly a triangle.
- Okay, fine, busted.
172
00:05:44,087 --> 00:05:45,822
I just had the stove's gas line cleaned.
173
00:05:45,856 --> 00:05:47,524
Maybe it was put back in wrong
or something.
174
00:05:47,558 --> 00:05:49,726
Look, I've caught
enough arsonists in my day
175
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,027
to know that the owner always does it.
176
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:52,674
Chuck, how's the truck been doing?
177
00:05:52,699 --> 00:05:53,890
- Pretty terrible.
- Hmm?
178
00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:55,599
I was just saying,
it's a miracle it burned down.
179
00:05:55,632 --> 00:05:57,253
Okay, I know Charles
sounds hella guilty right now,
180
00:05:57,278 --> 00:05:58,435
but you know he didn't do it.
181
00:05:58,469 --> 00:05:59,496
Charles, this isn't
looking good for you.
182
00:05:59,521 --> 00:06:01,215
Anybody else that might have
done this? Any enemies?
183
00:06:01,251 --> 00:06:02,453
Well, my dad's best friend and I
184
00:06:02,485 --> 00:06:03,924
have a pretty intense rivalry,
185
00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:05,523
but I don't think my aunt
would do anything illegal.
186
00:06:05,556 --> 00:06:06,758
Oh, my God.
187
00:06:06,790 --> 00:06:08,692
Wait. The rice pudding truck guy!
188
00:06:08,725 --> 00:06:10,727
Oh, my God. That bastard Troy.
189
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:13,206
We just got into a fight
about this very parking spot.
190
00:06:13,231 --> 00:06:15,198
- He said I'd regret it.
- Yeah, and that's what happened.
191
00:06:15,223 --> 00:06:16,234
You're regretting it!
192
00:06:16,266 --> 00:06:17,839
Come on, you know
we didn't commit arson.
193
00:06:17,864 --> 00:06:19,636
- Adrian, this is us.
- Not the TV show.
194
00:06:19,661 --> 00:06:20,907
- We are your friends.
- Not the movie.
195
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,008
- You got to have faith.
- Not the song.
196
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:23,176
Are you doing this on purpose?
197
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,198
- The third one, yes.
- Okay.
198
00:06:24,223 --> 00:06:26,346
I'll admit, arson does seem
out of character for you.
199
00:06:26,371 --> 00:06:27,869
Okay, look me in the eyes.
200
00:06:27,964 --> 00:06:31,368
Look me in the eyes like the bear did.
201
00:06:38,576 --> 00:06:39,911
Okay.
202
00:06:39,944 --> 00:06:41,879
I believe you, and together,
203
00:06:41,911 --> 00:06:43,885
we're gonna catch the SOB that did this.
204
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:47,652
I'm so glad he didn't
head-butt me in the penis.
205
00:06:47,685 --> 00:06:49,299
That's all I was thinking about.
206
00:06:49,586 --> 00:06:50,822
Cheddar!
207
00:06:50,855 --> 00:06:52,423
- That's a really good job.
- Stay, stay.
208
00:06:52,456 --> 00:06:54,626
What's going on here?
Why is Cheddar here?
209
00:06:54,658 --> 00:06:55,759
And why is he in swim trunks?
210
00:06:55,793 --> 00:06:57,295
Because the little sailor outfit
211
00:06:57,327 --> 00:06:58,829
- wouldn't fit his tush.
- Excuse me?
212
00:06:58,863 --> 00:07:00,497
We're setting you up a Twitter account,
213
00:07:00,531 --> 00:07:01,699
and the fastest way to get followers
214
00:07:01,731 --> 00:07:02,933
is cute animal pics.
215
00:07:02,966 --> 00:07:04,534
I follow an account that's just
216
00:07:04,567 --> 00:07:07,014
this one real grouchy chinchilla.
217
00:07:07,039 --> 00:07:08,575
He hates waking up so much!
218
00:07:08,607 --> 00:07:10,710
He really does. He's like "Ooh!"
219
00:07:10,744 --> 00:07:12,011
This is ridiculous.
220
00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:13,713
This has nothing to do with police work.
221
00:07:13,746 --> 00:07:15,081
Exactly. It's about being noticed,
222
00:07:15,114 --> 00:07:16,984
and right now, no one is noticing you.
223
00:07:17,016 --> 00:07:18,684
I didn't even realize we were talking
224
00:07:18,717 --> 00:07:20,052
to a third party, presently.
225
00:07:20,085 --> 00:07:22,054
Fine. If you really
think it's necessary,
226
00:07:22,088 --> 00:07:24,491
I will establish
a social media presence.
227
00:07:24,523 --> 00:07:25,858
But I'll be setting up my own accounts,
228
00:07:25,891 --> 00:07:27,126
and I assure you,
229
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,996
I won't be resorting to foolish gimmicks
involving my dog.
230
00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:31,864
Uh, you might want
to rethink that stance,
231
00:07:31,898 --> 00:07:34,133
because how cute would Cheddar
look in this hat?
232
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:36,102
Please. When it comes to clothes,
233
00:07:36,136 --> 00:07:38,638
Cheddar wears little booties
in the snow,
234
00:07:38,672 --> 00:07:41,142
or Cheddar wears nothing.
235
00:07:41,874 --> 00:07:44,110
Troy's not home, but I say we wait.
236
00:07:44,143 --> 00:07:46,946
I have some hard questions
for that rice pudding bastard.
237
00:07:46,979 --> 00:07:49,482
So, Adrian, how's life
as an insurance investigator?
238
00:07:49,515 --> 00:07:50,917
It's amazing. At Gray Star Mutual,
239
00:07:50,951 --> 00:07:52,986
they let me do whatever I want,
240
00:07:53,018 --> 00:07:55,155
as long as I'm getting that job
done, and you know I am.
241
00:07:55,188 --> 00:07:57,124
Last week, I waterboarded a dude.
242
00:07:57,157 --> 00:07:58,892
- Oh, that's not legal.
- Doesn't matter.
243
00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:00,994
I'm not a cop.
Anyway, what's up with you guys?
244
00:08:01,027 --> 00:08:02,463
Hey, Jake, who you porking?
245
00:08:02,496 --> 00:08:06,032
Uh, I guess Amy and I are still...
246
00:08:06,066 --> 00:08:08,035
- I don't want to say it.
- Yep.
247
00:08:08,068 --> 00:08:10,037
- Porking.
- Yeah, you are. Nice.
248
00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,505
Actually, we got engaged.
249
00:08:11,537 --> 00:08:13,006
What the hell? How come I didn't know?
250
00:08:13,039 --> 00:08:14,608
I thought we were supposed
to be friends.
251
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,910
Oh, wait a minute.
Did this, like, just happen?
252
00:08:16,943 --> 00:08:18,912
Well, it was at Halloween.
253
00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:20,547
Wha... no, that's so long ago!
254
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,649
Charles, are you just
finding out about this too?
255
00:08:22,681 --> 00:08:23,917
No, I was there.
256
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:25,551
You were there? Who else?
257
00:08:25,585 --> 00:08:26,787
Who else got to be a part of this?
258
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:29,156
Nobody, you know, just...
259
00:08:29,188 --> 00:08:30,657
Holt and...
260
00:08:30,689 --> 00:08:32,059
- Terry and Rosa.
- Okay.
261
00:08:32,092 --> 00:08:33,894
- And Hitchcock and Scully.
- Seriously?
262
00:08:33,926 --> 00:08:35,095
And this creepy guy named Bill.
263
00:08:35,128 --> 00:08:36,997
Oh, come on! I'm the creepy guy
264
00:08:37,029 --> 00:08:38,931
that's supposed to be at stuff
that you have happen.
265
00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:40,566
Look, you just left town,
266
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,503
and we don't exactly have
a text relationship...
267
00:08:42,536 --> 00:08:43,604
How dare you?
268
00:08:43,637 --> 00:08:45,705
May 10th, I texted you,
269
00:08:45,739 --> 00:08:47,273
I'm at the Gaga concert, you here,
270
00:08:47,306 --> 00:08:49,142
question mark, question mark,
question mark.
271
00:08:49,175 --> 00:08:52,079
You texted back, No. Frowny face.
272
00:08:52,111 --> 00:08:53,980
Look, I've been really busy.
I'm sorry, okay?
273
00:08:54,013 --> 00:08:55,782
I understand.
274
00:08:55,815 --> 00:08:58,085
You know, I just didn't hear
about this one thing.
275
00:08:58,118 --> 00:08:59,953
I mean, I can't imagine
there are any other
276
00:08:59,985 --> 00:09:02,855
major milestones that I've missed.
277
00:09:02,888 --> 00:09:04,157
- Are there?
- I mean, Amy's a sergeant.
278
00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:05,225
- No.
- And Holt's up
279
00:09:05,258 --> 00:09:06,926
- for commissioner.
- Seriously?
280
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,829
And Dr. Ronald Yee came to the precinct
281
00:09:08,861 --> 00:09:10,062
and taught a course on forensics.
282
00:09:10,095 --> 00:09:11,831
The Dr. Ronald Yee?
283
00:09:11,864 --> 00:09:13,066
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God!
284
00:09:13,099 --> 00:09:15,243
- Yee was in the building?
- Yeah.
285
00:09:15,268 --> 00:09:16,728
Wow, didn't realize
the Yee news was up there
286
00:09:16,753 --> 00:09:18,104
- with the other stuff.
- Oh, come on, Jake.
287
00:09:18,138 --> 00:09:20,773
Yee only wrote the book on
forensic facial reconstruction.
288
00:09:20,806 --> 00:09:22,075
He's a rock star!
289
00:09:22,108 --> 00:09:23,744
You guys could have texted me, but no,
290
00:09:23,777 --> 00:09:26,979
because I bet you haven't
thought about me once
291
00:09:27,013 --> 00:09:28,581
since I dumped Rosa.
292
00:09:28,614 --> 00:09:30,082
- Did you dump her?
- You know what?
293
00:09:30,115 --> 00:09:32,619
I need some air. I'm storming out.
294
00:09:32,652 --> 00:09:35,022
I'm storming out!
295
00:09:35,055 --> 00:09:36,924
So I can spare four uniformed officers
296
00:09:36,956 --> 00:09:39,258
to do hourly pass-bys
of the bodegas south of 4th,
297
00:09:39,292 --> 00:09:41,994
and I'll coordinate with the, um...
298
00:09:42,027 --> 00:09:43,162
hourly pass-bys of the...
299
00:09:43,196 --> 00:09:44,630
Wait. What was that?
300
00:09:44,663 --> 00:09:46,198
That was me talking about
hourly pass-bys.
301
00:09:46,231 --> 00:09:48,100
Oh, yeah, I heard about
the hourly pass-bys.
302
00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:50,137
Twice. I meant...
303
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,606
That subtle side look.
304
00:09:52,638 --> 00:09:54,007
There was no subtle side look.
305
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,242
You're right, 'cause it wasn't subtle.
306
00:09:55,274 --> 00:09:58,077
It was an unsubtle side look at...
307
00:09:58,110 --> 00:09:59,245
that dress in the shop.
308
00:09:59,278 --> 00:10:00,780
Why are you being such a nutjob
309
00:10:00,814 --> 00:10:02,115
about looking for a wedding dress?
310
00:10:02,148 --> 00:10:04,884
Because being
a female sergeant is difficult.
311
00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:06,085
I have to work twice as hard
312
00:10:06,119 --> 00:10:07,620
to gain my officers' respect,
313
00:10:07,653 --> 00:10:10,023
and looking at girly dresses
isn't going to help.
314
00:10:10,056 --> 00:10:12,893
Plus, it's a new job, and I need
to make it a priority.
315
00:10:12,926 --> 00:10:14,294
Dude, I get that, but if you want
316
00:10:14,326 --> 00:10:16,830
a beautiful wedding dress,
you deserve to find one.
317
00:10:16,863 --> 00:10:17,898
Look, there are no cops around.
318
00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:19,199
Nobody's gonna see you.
319
00:10:19,231 --> 00:10:20,799
Why don't we just take our break now,
320
00:10:20,824 --> 00:10:21,825
try one on?
321
00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:23,385
- Okay?
- Okay.
322
00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:24,814
- Okay?
- Okay.
323
00:10:24,839 --> 00:10:25,905
- Okay?
- Okay.
324
00:10:25,939 --> 00:10:28,342
Hell yeah!
325
00:10:28,374 --> 00:10:29,342
They are closed.
326
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,043
- We will come back later.
- Yeah.
327
00:10:31,076 --> 00:10:33,179
Where did Adrian go? He seemed upset.
328
00:10:33,212 --> 00:10:34,647
- Should we be worried?
- Always.
329
00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:36,917
We should always be worried about him.
330
00:10:36,950 --> 00:10:38,652
Jake. Look, look.
331
00:10:38,693 --> 00:10:41,135
Excuse me, Troy Lunniker, we are...
332
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:42,846
I know exactly who you are,
you spot-stealing
333
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,265
- son of a bitch!
- I didn't steal your spot!
334
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:45,325
- You were too slow, you idiot!
- You did steal my spot, man.
335
00:10:45,358 --> 00:10:46,557
You with the horrible meatballs.
336
00:10:46,589 --> 00:10:47,927
You should call them crap balls, man!
337
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,095
Oh, my food tastes like crap?
338
00:10:49,128 --> 00:10:50,797
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop.
339
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:52,132
- Crap balls.
- Hey!
340
00:10:52,165 --> 00:10:53,767
Look, Detective Boyle's truck
burned down.
341
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,135
Yeah, and you did it.
342
00:10:55,167 --> 00:10:56,637
You torched my truck,
and you're going to jail.
343
00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:58,805
Whoa. Someone burned down your truck?
344
00:10:58,837 --> 00:11:00,740
I'm sorry, man, but I would
never do anything like that.
345
00:11:00,773 --> 00:11:01,975
I swear it wasn't me.
346
00:11:02,008 --> 00:11:03,643
Well, I'd love to believe you, Troy,
347
00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:06,212
but I'm afraid we're gonna need
to see some proof.
348
00:11:06,245 --> 00:11:07,947
Oh, my God, he had so much proof.
349
00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:09,415
I can't believe he was on "Cash Cab"
350
00:11:09,449 --> 00:11:10,951
at the exact moment
my truck burned down.
351
00:11:10,984 --> 00:11:12,219
And he did so well.
352
00:11:12,252 --> 00:11:14,186
He named every member of The Monkees.
353
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:16,056
- He even got Tork.
- No one gets Tork.
354
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:17,257
I know. All right, so if it wasn't Troy,
355
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,126
the question is, who could it have been?
356
00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:20,926
What's up, jerks?
357
00:11:22,162 --> 00:11:23,729
Pimento, you broke into my house?
358
00:11:23,763 --> 00:11:25,331
Yeah. I'm an insurance investigator.
359
00:11:25,364 --> 00:11:27,667
- I can do whatever I want.
- What are you doing here?
360
00:11:27,701 --> 00:11:29,702
I'm working the case.
I'm looking for clues.
361
00:11:29,735 --> 00:11:31,804
Come on, you already said
Charles couldn't do this.
362
00:11:31,837 --> 00:11:32,972
- I couldn't do it.
- That's what I thought.
363
00:11:33,005 --> 00:11:34,240
But then I realized,
364
00:11:34,273 --> 00:11:36,275
if you can hide your engagement from me,
365
00:11:36,308 --> 00:11:38,944
what else are you capable of hiding?
366
00:11:38,978 --> 00:11:40,414
Oh, right. Arson!
367
00:11:40,446 --> 00:11:42,249
Come on, don't you think
that's a bit of a stretch?
368
00:11:42,282 --> 00:11:43,917
Is it? Lab tests came back
369
00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:46,753
and said the accelerant used
in the fire was turpentine.
370
00:11:46,786 --> 00:11:50,757
And look what I found
in Boyle's wife's closet.
371
00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:52,392
Looks to me a lot like turpentine.
372
00:11:52,425 --> 00:11:55,762
Oh, I wouldn't do that.
373
00:11:55,795 --> 00:11:57,264
Turpentine, just like I thought.
374
00:11:57,297 --> 00:11:59,432
That's Genevieve's.
She uses it for her paintings.
375
00:11:59,465 --> 00:12:03,269
Oh, likely story.
376
00:12:03,302 --> 00:12:05,905
If that's the case,
then how do you explain this
377
00:12:05,939 --> 00:12:06,907
that I found on your fridge?
378
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:07,907
My wedding invitation?
379
00:12:07,941 --> 00:12:09,276
Aha, so you admit it.
380
00:12:09,308 --> 00:12:11,177
Invites have gone out,
and I didn't get one!
381
00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,279
Oh, well, well, well.
382
00:12:13,312 --> 00:12:15,282
Now you both are gonna pay.
383
00:12:15,315 --> 00:12:16,717
- Adrian.
- Hey, come on.
384
00:12:16,749 --> 00:12:18,051
Oh, I thought you were
reaching for a gun.
385
00:12:18,084 --> 00:12:19,152
Oh, no, my friend.
386
00:12:19,185 --> 00:12:20,821
This is much worse than a gun.
387
00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:21,988
This is a stamp,
388
00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:23,323
a stamp that says...
389
00:12:24,923 --> 00:12:26,025
Denied.
390
00:12:26,058 --> 00:12:28,461
Your claim is denied.
391
00:12:37,348 --> 00:12:38,983
Do you really think
the insurance company
392
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,413
will replace Adrian
as the investigator on my case?
393
00:12:41,438 --> 00:12:42,664
Yeah. It's Gray Star Mutual...
394
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:44,130
"Where the feeling is mutual."
395
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:47,467
And right now we're feeling
like we want a new investigator.
396
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,534
Hi, I'm Travis.
397
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,002
I've been reviewing your appeal.
398
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:52,072
I understand you have a problem
with Mr. Pimento.
399
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,539
Yes, we sort of have
400
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:55,509
a complicated preexisting relationship,
401
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,076
which I think is a conflict of interest.
402
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,644
Okay, I'll be honest,
403
00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:01,081
we've had some problems
with Mr. Pimento before.
404
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,249
I think he may have
broken into my apartment once.
405
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,085
Oh, you'd know.
He leaves a lot of hair behind.
406
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,552
- He's a shedder.
- Mm-hmm.
407
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,087
Okay. I'll talk to my supervisor,
408
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,121
see what can be done.
409
00:13:09,154 --> 00:13:10,756
Great. Thank you very much.
410
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:13,493
See, Charles?
Things are starting to look up.
411
00:13:13,527 --> 00:13:14,628
Up your butt!
412
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,497
Adrian! What a coincidence.
413
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,511
We were just...
filing a complaint about you.
414
00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:19,490
You were obviously listening.
415
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,500
I don't know why I'm trying to lie.
416
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,768
Oh, we're locked in. Great.
417
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,570
First you cut me out of your lives,
418
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:25,638
then you try and get me fired?
419
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,240
My therapist was right about you guys.
420
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,809
- You're a couple of dinguses.
- You have a therapist?
421
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,544
Yeah, he's helping me work on
my rotator cuff.
422
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:32,745
Oh, I see, it's a physical therapist.
423
00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:34,914
Oh, he's very physical, Charles.
424
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,283
Very physical.
425
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,721
So what do you think?
426
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:42,788
Mm, I don't love the sash.
427
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,524
But it's fine. I'm just gonna get it.
428
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,092
What? That's the first one you tried on.
429
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:49,196
I once saw you look at 54
different accordion folders
430
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,698
and not buy any of them
due to weak tabs.
431
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:54,033
I file hard. I need strong tabs.
432
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,537
I just don't want to take up
any more time.
433
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:58,672
Your break's not even a quarter done.
434
00:13:58,705 --> 00:13:59,806
I'll stay another ten minutes.
435
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,174
You'll stay until I dismiss you.
436
00:14:01,206 --> 00:14:03,445
Irene, music.
437
00:14:03,478 --> 00:14:04,853
Now spin.
438
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:07,080
All units, attempted 1030-Charlie.
439
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,716
Bodega on Smith.
Perp is heading east on Baltic.
440
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:12,286
That's us! We're on Baltic.
441
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,820
Oh, crap. That was him!
442
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:15,822
Hey!
443
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,558
NYPD, stop!
444
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:24,831
Hey!
445
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,576
- Stay down!
- Damn, sarge.
446
00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:38,579
Maybe I do like the sash.
447
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:39,812
Sir, brace yourself.
448
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,782
Olivia Crawford just tweeted a post
449
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,216
of an officer carrying a woman
450
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:44,784
through knee-deep flood waters.
451
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,986
Spoiler alert:
they are of different races.
452
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:48,288
Terry teared up.
453
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,923
I love when calamity brings
people together.
454
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:52,259
Sir, it got another retweet
from the mayor.
455
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,894
It got a retweet from the governor.
456
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:55,696
Well, I have already set up my accounts,
457
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,131
and not to toot my own bugle,
458
00:14:58,163 --> 00:14:59,966
but I think I did an admirable job.
459
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,201
Oh, okay, what's your handle?
I'll be your first follower.
460
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:09,743
It's @5261796d6e6420486f6c74.
461
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:12,111
It spells "Raymond Holt"
in hexadecimal code.
462
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,947
- Clever, right?
- Captain, are you sure
463
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,349
you wouldn't like some help with this?
464
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,183
Oh, no need. Now, for my first tweet,
465
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,251
I think I should give an update
on the water main break
466
00:15:19,284 --> 00:15:20,920
that's actually informative.
467
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:26,892
"NYC H20-Main SITREP: at 2040 EDT
468
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:33,133
current PSI 456 MAX CAP 204000 LPM."
469
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:36,670
Suck on that tasty lemon drop,
Olivia Crawford.
470
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,304
Oh, look at that. An alert.
471
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,006
I'm probably trending already.
472
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,841
What? My account has been deactivated?
473
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,275
Twitter thinks you're a bot.
474
00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:45,379
Why? I am a human.
475
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:46,722
I am a human male.
476
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:49,316
Adrian, open up.
477
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,651
Get out of here, Travis!
478
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:51,751
Come on, Adrian, admit it.
479
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,052
You have a conflict of interest.
480
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,821
How could I have a conflict of interest?
481
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,723
We barely have a relationship.
482
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,190
We're not even friends anymore.
483
00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:00,427
- You saw to that, didn't you?
- That's crazy.
484
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,129
We may have lost touch,
but we're still friends.
485
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:05,065
Oh, is that right, Jake?
Are we still friends?
486
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,333
If that's the case, then when
did I lose my virginity?
487
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:08,701
Oh, man, you've told us
488
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,336
so many intense graphic sex stories.
489
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,806
I have! But a true friend
490
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:15,042
always remembers a friend's first.
491
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,343
Jake, we know this!
It's got to be one of the swamps.
492
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,346
Uh, Florida swamp,
or Okefenokee Swamp, or...
493
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,681
oh, was it a bayou?
494
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:21,748
No, no, no! I've got it.
495
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:22,948
Summer of '91, at a screening
496
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,384
of "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves."
497
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:27,254
Well done.
It was Bryan Adams' soundtrack
498
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,956
and Kevin Costner's
flawless British accent
499
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,893
that put us in the mood to get gross.
500
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:34,828
Next question. Favorite shape?
501
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,028
- Oval?
- Of course!
502
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:37,964
- Favorite scent?
- Trick question.
503
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,966
You lost your sense of smell in a...
504
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,033
Shipwreck!
505
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,169
Guys, we are friends!
506
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:46,105
Aww, I love you guys.
507
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,008
Are you still angry?
508
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,711
No, that was a cathartic scream of love.
509
00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:51,711
- Understood.
- Good.
510
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:52,745
Well, anyways, I'm sorry
511
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:53,813
about how things went down, man.
512
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,115
We should have stayed in touch.
513
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,983
No, it's just as much my fault as yours.
514
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:58,851
I could have kept in touch with you guys
515
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:00,986
and probably should have
told you about my new family.
516
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,088
Your new what now?
517
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,123
Ah, Travis. Great, you're here.
518
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,393
These gentlemen are innocent
and are free to go.
519
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,195
- You're fired, Adrian.
- What?
520
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:10,931
And as for you, my supervisor
and I reviewed your case.
521
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,932
Turpentine is all the proof
we need to deny your claim.
522
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:16,002
The feeling wasn't mutual.
523
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,258
You're so lame, you know that, Travis?
524
00:17:21,305 --> 00:17:23,258
Wait a second.
Is this just because I did molly
525
00:17:23,328 --> 00:17:24,862
- with your daughter?
- You did?
526
00:17:24,938 --> 00:17:26,257
Don't think he knew about that.
527
00:17:26,282 --> 00:17:27,686
Just don't ever come back here again.
528
00:17:27,711 --> 00:17:29,102
If you do, I'll have you arrested.
529
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,569
How dare you?
530
00:17:30,594 --> 00:17:31,971
I gave you the best two weeks
of my life!
531
00:17:32,005 --> 00:17:34,641
Oh, guys, I'm so screwed.
We got no leads.
532
00:17:34,673 --> 00:17:35,641
I'm not gonna get any of the money back.
533
00:17:35,675 --> 00:17:36,910
What do we do?
534
00:17:36,942 --> 00:17:39,145
We go directly
to Travis' house right now,
535
00:17:39,179 --> 00:17:40,546
pee on everything he owns,
536
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:41,749
and then burn that place to the ground.
537
00:17:41,782 --> 00:17:42,916
- Adrian, that's it.
- It is?
538
00:17:42,948 --> 00:17:44,485
- Yes! I knew it!
- No, no, no.
539
00:17:44,517 --> 00:17:46,018
Not anything about anything you said.
540
00:17:46,052 --> 00:17:47,821
But, Charles, didn't you just
tell me you fired someone?
541
00:17:47,853 --> 00:17:49,722
Yeah, Ted. I took him out to dinner.
542
00:17:49,756 --> 00:17:50,990
He thought he was getting a promotion.
543
00:17:51,024 --> 00:17:52,244
It was a whole thing.
544
00:17:52,269 --> 00:17:53,727
He wept a lot. Not as much as me...
545
00:17:53,759 --> 00:17:55,440
Yeah, but the point is,
he was upset, right?
546
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:57,205
And he knew where you liked
to park the truck.
547
00:17:57,230 --> 00:18:00,134
Uh-huh. And he never gave me
my key back.
548
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:02,136
He said he lost it.
You really think it's him?
549
00:18:02,169 --> 00:18:03,441
I mean, it's just a hunch, but...
550
00:18:03,466 --> 00:18:04,871
We should go to his house
and burn it down.
551
00:18:04,904 --> 00:18:06,139
I was gonna say we could go investigate.
552
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,407
Sure, sure, sure.
553
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,608
And then burn it to the ground.
554
00:18:08,641 --> 00:18:10,177
No. No burning of anything!
555
00:18:10,209 --> 00:18:11,691
What? I already got the match lit.
556
00:18:11,745 --> 00:18:13,611
- How?
- Let's hurry up and get there.
557
00:18:14,113 --> 00:18:16,656
Captain, I'm trying
to get your account reinstated,
558
00:18:16,681 --> 00:18:17,785
but it could take a while.
559
00:18:17,817 --> 00:18:19,437
They say they have a lot of Nazi stuff
560
00:18:19,462 --> 00:18:20,453
on the front burner.
561
00:18:20,487 --> 00:18:21,462
And when you tweet again,
562
00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:23,657
you should probably stop
communicating in numbers, kay?
563
00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:25,625
There's a 0% chance of that.
564
00:18:25,659 --> 00:18:26,893
Besides, I won't be tweeting anymore.
565
00:18:26,927 --> 00:18:28,529
I just got off the phone with the head
566
00:18:28,562 --> 00:18:29,897
- of the selection committee.
- You did?
567
00:18:29,929 --> 00:18:31,899
Apparently, one of
the candidates for commissioner
568
00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:34,066
tweeted a picture
of the water main break
569
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,836
and accidentally included a link
570
00:18:35,869 --> 00:18:37,538
to his favorite pornographic website...
571
00:18:37,571 --> 00:18:39,006
- Mm.
- Cosplay-butts-n-boobs.com.
572
00:18:39,038 --> 00:18:40,039
Amateur move.
573
00:18:40,073 --> 00:18:42,141
You should never copy-paste
if you're a perv.
574
00:18:42,175 --> 00:18:44,645
It's quite the scandal.
The candidate has dropped out.
575
00:18:44,678 --> 00:18:45,946
It's down to just three of us now.
576
00:18:45,978 --> 00:18:48,582
So I guess this proves
I was right all along.
577
00:18:48,614 --> 00:18:50,450
Social media... it's a fool's game,
578
00:18:50,484 --> 00:18:51,818
and only a fool would play.
579
00:18:51,866 --> 00:18:52,867
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
580
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,771
And why is Cheddar wearing a beret?
581
00:18:57,371 --> 00:18:58,806
Uh...
582
00:18:58,839 --> 00:19:00,974
Kevin saw your photos and was amused,
583
00:19:01,008 --> 00:19:03,545
so we started an Instagram
account for Cheddar,
584
00:19:03,578 --> 00:19:06,047
who now has over 14,000 followers.
585
00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:07,349
Hoo-whee!
586
00:19:07,381 --> 00:19:08,949
It's an incredible feeling.
587
00:19:08,983 --> 00:19:10,551
This is insulting.
588
00:19:10,585 --> 00:19:12,053
First you fire me in front of my family.
589
00:19:12,086 --> 00:19:13,688
Ooh, Charles,
his family was at the dinner?
590
00:19:13,721 --> 00:19:14,756
It was not well-handled.
591
00:19:14,789 --> 00:19:15,790
Now you accuse me of arson.
592
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:16,957
Just get out of my garage.
593
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:18,393
Hey, Ted?
594
00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:19,961
How come you have all this turpentine?
595
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,597
And this plastic bag filled with
matches and magnesium strips.
596
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:23,964
I found it buried under the back porch,
597
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,899
and I'm no expert, but it seems like
598
00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:28,936
that's the kind of stuff you'd
use to light a fire, right?
599
00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:31,039
Oh, there he goes.
600
00:19:33,474 --> 00:19:35,843
Say it with me, Jake.
601
00:19:35,877 --> 00:19:36,778
You've been...
602
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,512
- Denied!
- Butt-slammed!
603
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,814
- Wait, what?
- Denied, like the stamp?
604
00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:43,784
Oh, that is so much better.
605
00:19:43,818 --> 00:19:45,954
"Butt-slammed" is so stupid.
606
00:19:46,788 --> 00:19:48,656
Oh, is that the wedding dress
607
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,992
from the Erica Somerfield
2018 fall collection?
608
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,026
No way, the bodice is totally different.
609
00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:54,963
Why do you two know so much
about wedding dresses?
610
00:19:54,995 --> 00:19:56,663
They're the only thing
you can look at around here
611
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,831
with safe search on!
612
00:19:57,865 --> 00:19:59,434
All right, that's enough.
613
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:00,734
Can we all get back to police work
614
00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:02,737
and stop talking about wedding dresses?
615
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,472
No. We're gonna talk about them,
616
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,006
because while wearing a wedding dress,
617
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,474
you leapt over a couch,
618
00:20:07,508 --> 00:20:09,077
sprinted down an alley,
and jumped off a car
619
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:11,612
to subdue the crap out of a perp
like you were Wonder Woman.
620
00:20:11,646 --> 00:20:12,946
It was pretty cool, wasn't it?
621
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:15,683
Amy, you are an amazing cop
and a great leader,
622
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,685
and you have proven that
a billion times over.
623
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,420
You can't let other people's
opinions get in the way
624
00:20:19,454 --> 00:20:21,156
of what you want, especially
because other people suck.
625
00:20:21,188 --> 00:20:22,756
Well, if I'm being honest,
626
00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:24,058
- I would like a prettier dress.
- There you go.
627
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,659
And I would like it to have some lace.
628
00:20:25,693 --> 00:20:26,895
- Uh-huh.
- And a sweetheart neckline,
629
00:20:26,927 --> 00:20:28,629
- thank you very much.
- What else?
630
00:20:28,663 --> 00:20:30,432
And I want a mermaid cut
with tulip sleeves.
631
00:20:30,464 --> 00:20:31,765
Say it again. Say it loud.
632
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:35,570
A mermaid cut
with tulip frickin' sleeves!
633
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,504
Pimento's here! All right!
634
00:20:37,538 --> 00:20:38,772
Thanks so much for that text, man.
635
00:20:38,806 --> 00:20:40,074
- That meant a lot.
- The one that said,
636
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:41,843
- "Want to grab a drink tonight?"
- Yeah.
637
00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:43,677
Hey, Boyle, did you get
that insurance payout?
638
00:20:43,711 --> 00:20:45,180
Yes, I am out
of the food truck business,
639
00:20:45,213 --> 00:20:47,303
and I no longer start
spontaneously weeping.
640
00:20:47,328 --> 00:20:49,851
- Nice.
- Listen, I'm sorry you got fired.
641
00:20:49,884 --> 00:20:51,752
Oh, don't worry about it.
I got myself fired, all right?
642
00:20:51,785 --> 00:20:54,154
Plus, doesn't matter.
I got a way better job now.
643
00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:56,925
I'm working at one of those
fancy hand lotion stores.
644
00:20:56,957 --> 00:20:58,792
Spoiler alert: I have a gun again,
645
00:20:58,826 --> 00:21:00,995
and I've gotten to use it three times.
646
00:21:01,028 --> 00:21:03,531
You would be surprised
how often teenage girls
647
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,286
try and shoplift mango hand cream.
648
00:21:05,311 --> 00:21:07,535
- Huh.
- But it smells great!
649
00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:08,837
- I love it.
- I can get you some.
650
00:21:08,869 --> 00:21:10,671
Well, listen, man,
I've got something for you.
651
00:21:10,704 --> 00:21:11,806
Really? For me?
652
00:21:11,839 --> 00:21:12,840
It's an invitation to my wedding.
653
00:21:12,874 --> 00:21:15,176
Aw, Jake, I am so honored
654
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:16,217
and would love to be...
655
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,879
oh, nope, I can't make this.
656
00:21:17,912 --> 00:21:19,514
This is the same night as Lady Gaga.
657
00:21:19,547 --> 00:21:20,748
Oh, thank God. I didn't run it by Amy,
658
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,250
so this worked out great for both of us!
659
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:23,618
But honestly,
660
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,785
nobody's gonna come to this,
661
00:21:24,819 --> 00:21:26,221
because everybody's gonna be at Gaga.
662
00:21:26,253 --> 00:21:27,789
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
663
00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:32,828
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com