1 00:00:01,406 --> 00:00:03,497 [AS WAGNER'S "BRIDAL MARCH"] Here comes the bachelor, 2 00:00:03,532 --> 00:00:06,543 all dressed in my nice jacket I only wear for special events. 3 00:00:06,568 --> 00:00:08,790 - Oh, you're already on fire. - Thank you, my friend. 4 00:00:08,836 --> 00:00:10,770 And gentlemen, welcome to my bachelor party. 5 00:00:10,795 --> 00:00:12,497 This is the elite party squad. 6 00:00:12,544 --> 00:00:14,674 That is, assuming the captain is ready to let loose? 7 00:00:14,709 --> 00:00:15,974 - Captain? - I don't think so. 8 00:00:15,999 --> 00:00:17,612 I want you guys to think of me as one of the boys. 9 00:00:17,637 --> 00:00:20,572 So tonight I'll be swapping out my captain's hat for my... 10 00:00:21,349 --> 00:00:23,683 Kangol hat. Call me Raymond. 11 00:00:23,718 --> 00:00:25,303 Okay, Raymond in the Kangol hat, I will 12 00:00:25,328 --> 00:00:26,897 definitely call you Raymond, Raymond in the Kangol hat. 13 00:00:26,922 --> 00:00:28,430 - This is the best night of my life. - Mine too. 14 00:00:28,455 --> 00:00:30,633 Sharon gave me permission to get ♪ wasted. ♪ 15 00:00:30,658 --> 00:00:31,953 She's even putting a pasta pot 16 00:00:31,978 --> 00:00:33,663 - next to the bed in case I hurl. - Smart. 17 00:00:33,688 --> 00:00:36,038 I'm definitely putting a pasta pot on our wedding registry. 18 00:00:36,063 --> 00:00:37,788 Charles, tell us everything we're doing tonight. 19 00:00:37,813 --> 00:00:39,311 Well, that could take a long time. 20 00:00:39,349 --> 00:00:41,749 I've been planning this bachelor party for ten years. 21 00:00:41,803 --> 00:00:43,200 But I met Amy eight years ago. 22 00:00:43,225 --> 00:00:44,333 What does she have to do with this? 23 00:00:44,358 --> 00:00:45,591 JK. I'm happy for you both. 24 00:00:45,616 --> 00:00:48,283 No, no, tonight is about 25 00:00:48,343 --> 00:00:50,309 creating a bond that will last forever. 26 00:00:50,345 --> 00:00:52,778 Tonight is about The Batch Boys. 27 00:00:52,814 --> 00:00:54,413 Eh, we can brainstorm the name later. 28 00:00:54,449 --> 00:00:56,816 No, we can't because I already made fanny packs. 29 00:00:56,851 --> 00:00:58,284 Ah, well, that settles that. 30 00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:01,023 - This, uh, clearly says "Bach Boys." - No, it's "batch." 31 00:01:01,048 --> 00:01:02,581 You know, like the beginning of "bachelor." 32 00:01:02,606 --> 00:01:04,241 I've been working on this for ten years... don't ruin it! 33 00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:06,866 Okay, so let's fanny up, Batch Boys, 34 00:01:06,891 --> 00:01:08,234 because it's time to party. 35 00:01:08,259 --> 00:01:09,984 - Whoop whoop! - Yes. 36 00:01:10,732 --> 00:01:12,698 Whoop whoop, Raymond in the Kangol. 37 00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:14,567 [SOFTLY] Let's go. 38 00:01:14,602 --> 00:01:17,570 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 39 00:01:17,605 --> 00:01:24,577 ♪ ♪ 40 00:01:34,897 --> 00:01:36,767 I'm so excited for tonight. 41 00:01:36,811 --> 00:01:39,745 Thank you to my best friend, Kylie, for organizing this. 42 00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:41,881 And thank you for coming, ladies 43 00:01:41,906 --> 00:01:43,039 and gentlemen. 44 00:01:43,064 --> 00:01:44,563 I still don't get why you guys are here. 45 00:01:44,599 --> 00:01:45,765 Well, as I understand it, Amy 46 00:01:45,790 --> 00:01:47,539 - lost some sort of bet with Jake. - It's true. 47 00:01:47,564 --> 00:01:49,172 In hindsight, we should probably stop 48 00:01:49,197 --> 00:01:51,351 making major decisions through bets and competitions. 49 00:01:51,406 --> 00:01:53,135 More importantly, why are you guys dressed like that? 50 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,540 You look like you're on "Empire." 51 00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:56,709 - That's what we were going for. - Drip drop. 52 00:01:56,744 --> 00:01:57,777 We brought you a little gift. 53 00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:59,068 I had to guess on cup size. 54 00:01:59,093 --> 00:02:00,780 - Just gonna burn that for you. - Thank you. 55 00:02:00,815 --> 00:02:02,915 Amy, I too have a gift, okay? 56 00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:05,525 Tonight, until the stroke of midnight, 57 00:02:05,557 --> 00:02:08,197 I will not make fun of you in any way at all, 58 00:02:08,673 --> 00:02:10,623 - no matter what. - That is so sweet. 59 00:02:10,658 --> 00:02:12,150 And my gift to you 60 00:02:12,184 --> 00:02:15,837 is a cray-cray night of funky fun! 61 00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:18,364 I fear I've already made the biggest mistake of my life. 62 00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,499 [CLEARS THROAT] So, Kylie. 63 00:02:20,535 --> 00:02:21,914 What's the first event of the night? 64 00:02:21,969 --> 00:02:24,313 I thought we'd start by discussing the etymology 65 00:02:24,338 --> 00:02:26,003 of the word "bachelorette." 66 00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:27,183 Whoo-whoo! 67 00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:28,690 Or we could just play "Never Have I Ever." 68 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:29,806 - Maybe later? - I'll start. 69 00:02:29,831 --> 00:02:30,866 Never have I ever 70 00:02:30,971 --> 00:02:32,686 flashed a bartender to get a free drink. 71 00:02:34,582 --> 00:02:36,382 You guys know how the game works, right? 72 00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:37,691 You drink if you have done it. 73 00:02:37,716 --> 00:02:39,716 - Oh. - We understand. 74 00:02:40,282 --> 00:02:44,550 Okay, Batch Boys, the festivities official begin now. 75 00:02:44,575 --> 00:02:46,408 Let's just grab a couple cabs or... 76 00:02:46,435 --> 00:02:49,002 Oh, my God. What do we have here? 77 00:02:49,027 --> 00:02:50,113 - Damn! - [HORN HONKS] 78 00:02:50,138 --> 00:02:52,039 - Nice work on the limo, Charles. - [TIRES SCREECH] 79 00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:53,110 What... 80 00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:56,048 - What just happened? - Well, that was weird. 81 00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:57,493 A suspicious bag. 82 00:02:57,518 --> 00:02:58,843 Maybe we should see what's in it? 83 00:02:58,868 --> 00:02:59,996 - Ooh. - A mystery bag. 84 00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:01,754 I hope it's got those light-up necklaces. 85 00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:04,106 People love seeing large groups of drunk men wearing those. 86 00:03:04,152 --> 00:03:06,117 - Nope. - It's a bunch of school supplies. 87 00:03:06,461 --> 00:03:08,688 Is this gonna be one of those scavenger hunts, Boyle? 88 00:03:08,713 --> 00:03:10,395 'Cause that pasta pot isn't filling itself. 89 00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:12,466 - Come on, Terry. - Let's just see what the plan is. 90 00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:14,652 - Charles, what are we doing? - I don't know anything about it. 91 00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:17,867 But why don't we take this map and this sextant 92 00:03:18,183 --> 00:03:20,192 and chart a course to the restaurant? 93 00:03:20,228 --> 00:03:21,829 Title of your sex-tant tape. 94 00:03:21,854 --> 00:03:23,064 Ah, did not work at all, 95 00:03:23,089 --> 00:03:24,430 but I love that you attempted it. 96 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,631 Title of your sex-tant tape. 97 00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:26,799 All right, let's go! 98 00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:28,200 Never have I ever 99 00:03:28,236 --> 00:03:30,995 had sex in the back of a car. 100 00:03:31,372 --> 00:03:32,938 - No way. - Everyone's done that? 101 00:03:32,974 --> 00:03:34,176 - Yeah. - Except for you. 102 00:03:34,201 --> 00:03:36,487 Kylie, you're telling me you had sex in the back of a car? 103 00:03:36,512 --> 00:03:37,843 Actually, it was a school bus, 104 00:03:37,879 --> 00:03:39,712 on the way back from Model U.N. 105 00:03:39,747 --> 00:03:41,160 with Myanmar. 106 00:03:41,207 --> 00:03:42,515 It's like I don't even know you. 107 00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:44,276 Look, we've done like nine rounds of this, 108 00:03:44,301 --> 00:03:45,494 and you haven't drunk once. 109 00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:47,500 Maybe we should play something else that actually gets you drunk. 110 00:03:47,525 --> 00:03:49,258 I love you, dude, but you haven't had the craziest life. 111 00:03:49,283 --> 00:03:51,183 - That's not true. - I've done stuff. 112 00:03:51,459 --> 00:03:53,482 Just say ones that are a little less wild. 113 00:03:53,507 --> 00:03:56,146 Uh, never have I ever made a turn without signaling. 114 00:03:56,178 --> 00:03:57,199 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 115 00:03:57,224 --> 00:03:59,842 Okay, a turn is a big deal. 116 00:03:59,867 --> 00:04:01,472 It's not like you said, never have I ever 117 00:04:01,497 --> 00:04:02,823 changed lanes without signaling. 118 00:04:02,848 --> 00:04:04,916 Never have I ever changed lanes without signaling. 119 00:04:05,451 --> 00:04:07,250 You guys are insane! 120 00:04:07,575 --> 00:04:09,039 Never have I ever 121 00:04:09,064 --> 00:04:11,368 accepted the terms and conditions without reading them. 122 00:04:11,393 --> 00:04:12,703 It's too risky. 123 00:04:12,735 --> 00:04:14,242 Left a movie without watching the credits. 124 00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:15,800 Those people worked hard. 125 00:04:15,825 --> 00:04:19,259 Used more than the recommended amount of conditioner. 126 00:04:19,284 --> 00:04:21,849 - They make the conditioner. - They know what they're doing. 127 00:04:21,874 --> 00:04:23,412 - This is lame. - Let's play something else. 128 00:04:23,451 --> 00:04:24,990 No. No-no-no, okay. 129 00:04:25,026 --> 00:04:26,534 Never have I ever 130 00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:29,277 had a one-night stand with a guy from a band. 131 00:04:29,324 --> 00:04:30,996 Whoops! Yes, I have! 132 00:04:31,032 --> 00:04:34,466 - Whoa, I am V impressed, Amy. - V impressed. 133 00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:35,830 In fact, Kylie, 134 00:04:35,855 --> 00:04:37,636 it was the lead singer of your wedding band. 135 00:04:37,671 --> 00:04:38,971 Boom! That's right. 136 00:04:39,006 --> 00:04:40,539 I'm a wild girl! 137 00:04:40,574 --> 00:04:42,141 Watch out, Madonna. [LAUGHS] 138 00:04:42,176 --> 00:04:45,213 Uh, Ames? I told Jake that you really liked that band 139 00:04:45,258 --> 00:04:47,391 and he booked it for your wedding as a surprise. 140 00:04:47,615 --> 00:04:49,014 What? 141 00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:50,718 [SOFTLY] Surprise! 142 00:04:51,484 --> 00:04:53,819 So, according to this map, 143 00:04:53,854 --> 00:04:56,505 the restaurant should be right here. 144 00:04:56,619 --> 00:04:58,419 But it's just an old abandoned building. 145 00:04:58,444 --> 00:05:00,294 - That's odd. - Unless... 146 00:05:00,728 --> 00:05:03,169 You don't think when the sun sets that 147 00:05:03,194 --> 00:05:06,131 certain letters on that graffiti wall will be illuminated 148 00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,633 by a shaft of light? 149 00:05:07,668 --> 00:05:10,073 I don't think that. We've been at this bachelor party 150 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,580 for over an hour, wandering around aimlessly 151 00:05:12,606 --> 00:05:14,973 and we haven't done one bachelor party thing! 152 00:05:15,009 --> 00:05:17,609 Well, Terry, if you'd like, I could share a lewd story. 153 00:05:17,645 --> 00:05:19,478 Kevin got me quite horny this morning. 154 00:05:19,513 --> 00:05:20,612 [LAUGHS] Oh, see? 155 00:05:20,648 --> 00:05:22,714 - Come on, guys. - I'm hungry! 156 00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:24,404 Oh, you're in luck; the fanny pack 157 00:05:24,429 --> 00:05:25,771 is filled with granola. 158 00:05:26,294 --> 00:05:29,411 Mmm! Loose granola. 159 00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:31,690 I don't want fanny granola! 160 00:05:31,725 --> 00:05:33,469 I want steaks and whiskey! 161 00:05:33,494 --> 00:05:35,157 Is this whole night just gonna be puzzles? 162 00:05:35,182 --> 00:05:37,015 - Good question. - Perhaps that's something 163 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,774 - the limo can answer! - [TIRES SCREECH] 164 00:05:38,799 --> 00:05:40,165 - Oh. - Oh, yes, the limo's back! 165 00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:41,824 We finally get to ride in the limo. 166 00:05:41,849 --> 00:05:43,612 Nope. The limo is not for us. This is something else. 167 00:05:43,637 --> 00:05:45,037 Oh, no, I'm being kidnapped! 168 00:05:45,072 --> 00:05:48,807 We have your friend! Your mission is to find him! 169 00:05:48,843 --> 00:05:50,320 Is that a Serbian accent? 170 00:05:50,345 --> 00:05:51,677 It is. Write that down for later. 171 00:05:51,712 --> 00:05:53,445 Oh! I'll see you in six hours. 172 00:05:53,481 --> 00:05:54,713 Six hours? 173 00:05:54,748 --> 00:05:57,116 Joe, let us get in the limo, please! 174 00:05:57,151 --> 00:05:58,884 Terry's so hungry! 175 00:05:59,114 --> 00:06:00,756 No! 176 00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:06,459 Okay, let's not get discouraged just because... 177 00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:08,193 We've been doing this for 93 minutes 178 00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:09,985 and we haven't figured out one damn clue. 179 00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:11,753 That's why I said to not get discouraged. 180 00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:14,089 All right, what about book two? Maybe it's a code. 181 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,529 All we have to do is decipher 182 00:06:15,554 --> 00:06:17,169 this list of thousands of random numbers. 183 00:06:17,201 --> 00:06:19,795 Huh, I wonder if one of them is... 6-9? 184 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,513 Pretty sure he means 69, but I'm so hungry 185 00:06:21,538 --> 00:06:23,155 I can't even appreciate horndog Raymond. 186 00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:24,672 I say we bail on the scavenger hunt. 187 00:06:24,697 --> 00:06:26,495 There's a restaurant one block away that 188 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,316 rolls meat to you on a cart. 189 00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:30,386 Charles would be so upset if we bailed. 190 00:06:30,425 --> 00:06:31,807 But what if Charles never knew? 191 00:06:31,842 --> 00:06:33,141 If we can figure out where he's going to be 192 00:06:33,177 --> 00:06:34,609 at the end of the night, we don't have to do 193 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:36,451 - any of his dumb puzzles. - Right. 194 00:06:36,476 --> 00:06:37,820 Instead, we can spend the next six hours 195 00:06:37,845 --> 00:06:39,111 eating and drinking and 196 00:06:39,216 --> 00:06:40,880 talking about how we lost our V cards. 197 00:06:40,911 --> 00:06:42,779 And then we show up at the final location 198 00:06:42,804 --> 00:06:44,236 and pretend we did the stupid hunt. 199 00:06:44,261 --> 00:06:45,883 - Yeah-yeah... - Interesting. 200 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,062 All right, I'm not saying I'm on board with this 201 00:06:48,087 --> 00:06:50,093 'cause it's a little bit cruel, but hypothetically, 202 00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:51,693 - if we were to cheat... - Got it. 203 00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,028 I hacked his email. 204 00:06:53,063 --> 00:06:54,963 His password's really easy to guess. 205 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,105 [TOGETHER] "Dianne Wiest." 206 00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:57,291 And look here. 207 00:06:57,382 --> 00:06:59,402 There's a receipt for a party boat rental 208 00:06:59,427 --> 00:07:01,105 and also a cake delivery 209 00:07:01,138 --> 00:07:02,871 to a dock down in Bergen Beach. 210 00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:04,639 That's got to be where this night ends. 211 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:05,720 All right, fine. 212 00:07:05,818 --> 00:07:07,986 We will stop and get one tiny, little snack 213 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,744 just to recharge our brains and bods, 214 00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,662 but under no circumstances will we 215 00:07:11,687 --> 00:07:14,187 do any bachelor partying without Charles. 216 00:07:14,318 --> 00:07:16,284 Whoo! I'm getting married! 217 00:07:16,441 --> 00:07:18,787 - This is my bachelor party! - [CHUCKLES] 218 00:07:18,822 --> 00:07:20,055 You guys, I can't have 219 00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:22,082 some rando one-night stand at my wedding. 220 00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:23,506 I'm on the band's website. 221 00:07:23,623 --> 00:07:25,222 Not to tease you, but 222 00:07:25,329 --> 00:07:27,767 just so we all have the complete information. 223 00:07:28,065 --> 00:07:30,082 - Which one is he? - Constantine Kane. 224 00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,175 Yes. 225 00:07:32,230 --> 00:07:33,301 I see. 226 00:07:33,337 --> 00:07:34,769 Why don't you just cancel the band? 227 00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:36,204 If I cancel, I'll have to 228 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,364 tell Jake why, and I don't want to do that. 229 00:07:38,389 --> 00:07:40,742 Well, it says he's playing a solo show in Bed-Stuy tonight. 230 00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:42,210 We can just go down there and ask him 231 00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:43,734 - to pull out of the wedding. - I don't know. 232 00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,852 Tonight was supposed to be about us bonding, 233 00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:48,016 and instead, it's just starting to be about some dude. 234 00:07:48,085 --> 00:07:50,152 No, it's about your bachelorettes having your back. 235 00:07:50,187 --> 00:07:51,562 But I wanted tonight to be fun. 236 00:07:51,608 --> 00:07:54,156 And it will be. We're having a drunken adventure! 237 00:07:54,191 --> 00:07:55,257 Really? 238 00:07:55,292 --> 00:07:56,691 ♪ ♪ 239 00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,560 Okay. Yeah. Let's do it. 240 00:07:58,595 --> 00:08:00,695 Yay! Bachelorette adventure! 241 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,792 Kylie, you should talk less. 242 00:08:02,921 --> 00:08:05,088 Sorry, I have to direct it somewhere. 243 00:08:05,202 --> 00:08:06,581 Nice to meet you, by the way. 244 00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:07,906 Hey guys, if you're running out, 245 00:08:07,931 --> 00:08:09,648 I'm just gonna take Hitchcock to the hospital. 246 00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:10,688 Is he okay? 247 00:08:10,713 --> 00:08:12,181 He drank a lot during "Never Have I Ever." 248 00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:13,675 We're gonna get his stomach pumped, 249 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,340 try to get ahead of this thing. 250 00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:17,122 That meat was good. 251 00:08:17,147 --> 00:08:18,613 You know what we should order? 252 00:08:18,649 --> 00:08:19,814 More meat. 253 00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:21,183 Yeah, we should. 254 00:08:21,218 --> 00:08:22,317 We're "The Steak Studs!" 255 00:08:22,352 --> 00:08:24,052 The Steak Studs! 256 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,220 No-no-no... wait! 257 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,022 Charles already gave us a name. 258 00:08:27,057 --> 00:08:29,191 And that is the only one we're gonna use. 259 00:08:29,226 --> 00:08:31,126 [TOGETHER] Steak Studs! Steak Studs! 260 00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:32,861 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 261 00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:34,162 - Wait-wait. - Steak Studs... 262 00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:35,513 - It's Charles. - Oh, no. Oh, no. 263 00:08:35,538 --> 00:08:36,574 What do we do? What do we do? 264 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,666 Everyone, calm down. 265 00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:38,900 It'll be fine. I have an idea. 266 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,202 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 267 00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:41,903 Why is everyone looking at me? 268 00:08:41,928 --> 00:08:44,136 You just said you had an idea, then you stopped talking. 269 00:08:44,161 --> 00:08:45,907 Oh, my goodness. I'm very intoxicated. 270 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,343 Oh, he's FaceTiming me, you guys. What do I do? 271 00:08:48,368 --> 00:08:50,745 He can't know we're at the restaurant. I need a neutral background. 272 00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:51,813 I'm a neutral background! 273 00:08:51,848 --> 00:08:53,682 - I'm huge! - Yes. Genius. 274 00:08:54,092 --> 00:08:56,115 Let me put on my jacket. Okay. 275 00:08:56,553 --> 00:08:57,886 [CHUCKLES] Hey, best man. 276 00:08:57,921 --> 00:08:59,921 - Jake! - Oh, I'm so scared. 277 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,915 The kidnappers have me tied up and... 278 00:09:02,744 --> 00:09:04,259 W... where are you guys? 279 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,595 I don't want to say, in case the kidnappers are listening. 280 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,378 - Smart. - But please hurry. 281 00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,732 They're torturing me like James Bond in "Casino Royale." 282 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,134 It's all groin stuff! Oh, my God. 283 00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:15,724 Save me! Save... 284 00:09:16,397 --> 00:09:18,773 [EXHALES] That was close. 285 00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:19,835 So... 286 00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:22,577 should we order another round? 287 00:09:22,613 --> 00:09:25,146 ♪ And that's why I cry ♪ 288 00:09:25,377 --> 00:09:28,250 ♪ Every time I eat my pecan pie ♪ 289 00:09:28,285 --> 00:09:33,555 ♪ A la mode ♪ 290 00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:35,824 - Yeah, Constantine! - Thank you. 291 00:09:35,859 --> 00:09:36,925 Namaste. 292 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,193 Look, in my defense, 293 00:09:38,228 --> 00:09:39,794 he didn't used to have that man bun. 294 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,204 It was just a ponytail. 295 00:09:41,229 --> 00:09:42,998 I'm just gonna write some of my thoughts down 296 00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:45,000 just to let them out, so I don't explode. 297 00:09:45,035 --> 00:09:48,870 Okay, look, no matter how lame that dude's man purse is, 298 00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:51,006 Amy Santiago still had a one-night stand. 299 00:09:51,041 --> 00:09:52,741 - To Amy! - ALL: Amy! 300 00:09:52,776 --> 00:09:54,342 - Yeah. - [GLASSES CLINK] 301 00:09:54,378 --> 00:09:58,260 Actually, it technically wasn't just one night. 302 00:09:58,285 --> 00:10:00,022 - Explain. - Well, he caught me 303 00:10:00,047 --> 00:10:01,613 trying to sneak out the next morning, 304 00:10:02,028 --> 00:10:03,895 and then he started crying, 305 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,253 so I hugged him, and 306 00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:07,222 while we were hugging, um, 307 00:10:07,257 --> 00:10:10,258 his mom FaceTimed, and he introduced me as his girlfriend. 308 00:10:10,294 --> 00:10:11,826 Okay, so then right after the call, 309 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,196 you broke up with him, ended it. 310 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:14,929 - Uhh... - How long were you with 311 00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:16,439 crying wedding-band man bun? 312 00:10:16,464 --> 00:10:18,366 Not that long. I doubt he even remembers me. 313 00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:20,117 Oh, my God. Amy Santiago. 314 00:10:20,142 --> 00:10:21,303 Ladies and gentlemen, 315 00:10:21,338 --> 00:10:23,501 the love of my life is here. 316 00:10:24,298 --> 00:10:25,874 Three months. We dated for three months. 317 00:10:25,909 --> 00:10:28,209 - [SIGHS] All right. - This is the boat. 318 00:10:28,245 --> 00:10:30,556 Now, Charles has to think we're totally sober 319 00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:31,846 and we solved his puzzle. 320 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,588 - So we good? - Yep, I'm drunk as hell! 321 00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:35,595 - That's not what I asked. - Don't worry about me. 322 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:37,175 I've seen you do enough of these harebrained schemes 323 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,253 to know how to play along. 324 00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:39,788 If Charles asks what's wrong, 325 00:10:39,823 --> 00:10:42,426 I'll just put on a quaint smile and say, 326 00:10:43,528 --> 00:10:44,726 [HIGH-PITCHED] "Nothing." 327 00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:46,472 Amazing. That is actually perfect. 328 00:10:46,497 --> 00:10:48,257 All right, now let's hold on to each other for balance 329 00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:50,198 like three totally sober grown men. 330 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,324 Come here. 331 00:10:52,369 --> 00:10:53,825 And here we go. 332 00:10:54,866 --> 00:10:56,747 Oh, yeah, we're nailing this. 333 00:10:57,661 --> 00:11:00,141 Hello? Charles? 334 00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:01,643 [LIONEL RICHIE'S "ALL NIGHT LONG" PLAYS] 335 00:11:01,678 --> 00:11:03,745 Surprise! Welcome to the party, pal! 336 00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:06,147 Wow! This is amazing! 337 00:11:06,183 --> 00:11:08,214 Yeah! Now we get to the best part. 338 00:11:08,239 --> 00:11:09,519 Steaks and shots! 339 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:12,363 Ohh, more meat and alcohol. 340 00:11:12,388 --> 00:11:13,722 "More?" What does that mean? 341 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,291 [TOGETHER] Uhh... 342 00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:18,093 [HIGH-PITCHED] Nothing? 343 00:11:21,261 --> 00:11:25,162 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 344 00:11:26,098 --> 00:11:27,950 - Isn't this great? - Uh-huh. 345 00:11:28,013 --> 00:11:30,355 So there is one question about the scavenger hunt 346 00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:31,758 you have to answer. 347 00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,806 Was he everything you thought he'd be? 348 00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:35,338 Yes. 349 00:11:35,374 --> 00:11:38,047 He was everything I thought he'd be. 350 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,384 Never before has a person so perfectly met my expectations. 351 00:11:41,455 --> 00:11:42,588 I know! 352 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,213 Isn't Reginald VelJohnson the best? 353 00:11:44,238 --> 00:11:46,293 Reginald VelJohnson? From "Die Hard"? 354 00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:48,336 Sergeant Powell was a part of my bachelor party? 355 00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:51,529 Is what I said upon meeting him. 356 00:11:51,554 --> 00:11:53,179 I'm just still emotional about it. 357 00:11:53,204 --> 00:11:55,227 I can't believe you pulled that off! 358 00:11:55,252 --> 00:11:56,326 [CHUCKLING] Yeah, I did. 359 00:11:56,361 --> 00:11:57,861 I have one more surprise for you. 360 00:11:58,472 --> 00:12:00,903 If I could have your eyes, ears, 361 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,365 and emotional cores... 362 00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:04,402 [VITAMIN C'S "GRADUATION" PLAYS] 363 00:12:04,427 --> 00:12:06,280 I'd like to take you all on a journey. 364 00:12:06,305 --> 00:12:07,949 Wow, you got a lot of photos of my birth. 365 00:12:07,974 --> 00:12:09,878 Your mom didn't have any pics, so I had to call the hospital. 366 00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:11,097 - Ah. - Jake Peralta. 367 00:12:11,214 --> 00:12:13,303 My partner. My best friend. 368 00:12:13,328 --> 00:12:15,203 My brother. My idol. 369 00:12:15,332 --> 00:12:18,300 The one man who has never let me down. 370 00:12:18,477 --> 00:12:20,196 Oh, that's very kind. 371 00:12:20,297 --> 00:12:22,625 Tonight had to be the biggest, 372 00:12:22,719 --> 00:12:24,828 most special bachelor party ever. 373 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:27,891 It had to be extraordinary because you, 374 00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:30,711 my friend, are no ordinary man. 375 00:12:30,782 --> 00:12:35,632 In fact, you are 24 karat gold. 376 00:12:36,092 --> 00:12:37,400 ♪ ♪ 377 00:12:38,131 --> 00:12:40,197 ♪ So if we get the big jobs and we make... ♪ 378 00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:43,765 24 karat gold! 379 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:44,997 - Is that a phrase I say? - No. 380 00:12:45,022 --> 00:12:46,191 Like the coins from the hunt! 381 00:12:46,216 --> 00:12:47,871 - Yes, of course. - From those. 382 00:12:47,896 --> 00:12:51,153 Now, Terry, please present your gold coin. 383 00:12:51,178 --> 00:12:52,926 My gold coin? The hell? 384 00:12:52,951 --> 00:12:55,080 From the last stop, the one with Reginald VelJohnson. 385 00:12:55,105 --> 00:12:57,003 Yes, right, I already told you that I was there and I met him. 386 00:12:57,028 --> 00:12:59,333 Stop bringing it up. Terry, give the man his coin! 387 00:12:59,358 --> 00:13:00,630 The hell are you talking about, Jake? 388 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,755 - The coin. Give him the coin. - What coin? I don't have a... 389 00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:03,526 - You give him a coin. - Give him his gold coin. 390 00:13:03,562 --> 00:13:06,209 - What's going on, guys? - All right, here's the deal. 391 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,415 Terry's coin fell out of his pocket, and we lost it. 392 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,149 We just didn't have the heart to tell you. 393 00:13:11,174 --> 00:13:13,352 Oh, no. That cost $800. 394 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:14,688 All right, Terry will pay me back later. 395 00:13:14,713 --> 00:13:17,333 - What? - Captain, your coin, please. 396 00:13:18,076 --> 00:13:19,741 ♪ And as our lives change ♪ 397 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,389 - I ate mine. - You ate your coin? 398 00:13:21,414 --> 00:13:22,701 Yes, I thought it was chocolate. 399 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,718 But you hate chocolate. It has "too much taste." 400 00:13:25,835 --> 00:13:27,233 [SIGHS] Oh, man. 401 00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:30,460 You guys didn't do the scavenger hunt, did you? 402 00:13:30,980 --> 00:13:33,104 And you call yourselves The Batch Boys? 403 00:13:33,151 --> 00:13:35,050 Actually, we call ourselves The Steak Studs. 404 00:13:35,126 --> 00:13:36,456 Raymond! 405 00:13:36,481 --> 00:13:37,680 Why? 406 00:13:37,705 --> 00:13:40,194 - [GRUNGE MUSIC PLAYING] - I know why you're here, Turtle Bug. 407 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:41,685 I feel like the fact that you just 408 00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:43,210 called me that means you don't. 409 00:13:43,259 --> 00:13:45,939 Uh, quick question: If I make fun of Constantine 410 00:13:45,971 --> 00:13:47,737 does that count as making fun of you? 411 00:13:47,762 --> 00:13:49,194 - Yes. - Okay. 412 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,219 - Can I make fun of you? - I'd rather you didn't. 413 00:13:51,244 --> 00:13:53,246 Well, I have to remove myself from this situation. 414 00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:56,000 Look, I want to talk to you about a gig you have coming up. 415 00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:57,846 - Jake Peralta booked it. - Yeah. 416 00:13:57,885 --> 00:13:58,971 - Your wedding. - What? 417 00:13:58,996 --> 00:14:00,643 If you knew that, then why did you take it? 418 00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:01,784 I wrote you a love song. 419 00:14:01,809 --> 00:14:03,498 I'm gonna sing it, and I'm gonna win you back. 420 00:14:03,523 --> 00:14:05,423 Then we're gonna be on "The Today Show." 421 00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:07,491 - I love Hoda. - Yeah, no. 422 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,946 No, we will not. 423 00:14:09,084 --> 00:14:10,683 This is what's gonna happen, okay? 424 00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:11,951 You're gonna call Jake, 425 00:14:12,065 --> 00:14:13,641 tell him something came up, 426 00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:14,965 and you have to cancel the gig. 427 00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,987 Not happening. I'm gonna get on that stage. 428 00:14:17,012 --> 00:14:18,811 And I'm gonna play "Amy Come Back." 429 00:14:18,836 --> 00:14:20,869 - Fine. - I'm gonna tell Jake everything. 430 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:23,408 I'm cancelling your band. Boom. 431 00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:26,034 - Okay! - That'll just cost you $15,000. 432 00:14:26,234 --> 00:14:27,239 Excuse me? 433 00:14:27,264 --> 00:14:28,701 Well, when I heard it was your wedding, 434 00:14:28,726 --> 00:14:30,560 I knew your fiancé would cancel 435 00:14:30,585 --> 00:14:32,719 when he found out about us, so... 436 00:14:32,843 --> 00:14:35,143 I put in a huge kill fee. 437 00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:37,603 - [GASPS] - Yeah, he never even noticed. 438 00:14:38,034 --> 00:14:40,701 He didn't read the terms and conditions. 439 00:14:40,925 --> 00:14:43,085 Look, Charles, I'm sorry that we cheated, 440 00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,499 but your puzzle was too hard. 441 00:14:44,524 --> 00:14:46,351 Oh, don't give me that excuse. 442 00:14:46,430 --> 00:14:47,602 I worked hard on this night! 443 00:14:47,627 --> 00:14:48,960 And it all led up to this moment 444 00:14:48,985 --> 00:14:51,595 where everyone gives you $3,200 in gold coins! 445 00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:53,945 Again, is the gold coin thing based on something I said? 446 00:14:54,003 --> 00:14:56,137 You're 24 karat gold! 447 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,544 - Yeah, right, okay. - You guys are the worst. 448 00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,794 You're right, and we shouldn't have lied to you. 449 00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:01,734 But all of this, the puzzle, 450 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,408 it's what you wanted, not me. 451 00:15:03,689 --> 00:15:05,454 I just wanted to hang out with my friends. 452 00:15:05,479 --> 00:15:07,546 Well, don't let me stop you. 453 00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,061 You can hang out with your friends all you want, because I'm leaving. 454 00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:11,139 Charles! 455 00:15:11,164 --> 00:15:12,964 [FIREWORKS POPPING] 456 00:15:13,077 --> 00:15:14,276 Come on, slideshow. 457 00:15:18,446 --> 00:15:20,452 Boyle isn't picking up and I called Genevieve. 458 00:15:20,513 --> 00:15:22,073 - She doesn't know where he is. - Wait. 459 00:15:22,206 --> 00:15:24,728 I bet Charles is looking for the coins he hid all over the city. 460 00:15:24,753 --> 00:15:25,784 They were so expensive. 461 00:15:25,809 --> 00:15:27,927 Also, why does he keep saying I'm 24 karat gold? 462 00:15:27,953 --> 00:15:29,212 - No idea. - Makes zero sense. 463 00:15:29,237 --> 00:15:30,619 We'll have to figure it out later. 464 00:15:30,644 --> 00:15:32,065 In the meantime, we gotta find those coins. 465 00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:33,507 Yes, but how do we figure out where they are? 466 00:15:33,551 --> 00:15:34,710 All we have to do is solve 467 00:15:34,735 --> 00:15:36,905 the entire six-hour scavenger hunt immediately. 468 00:15:36,962 --> 00:15:39,005 Raymond, toss me that sextant. 469 00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:40,711 Guys, we can do this! 470 00:15:40,736 --> 00:15:42,351 - [SEXTANT THUDS] - We cannot do this. 471 00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,700 We're way too drunk. [SIGHS] 472 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,906 But there has to be someone that knows where those coins are, right? 473 00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:47,003 Charles. 474 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,567 - Charles would know. - Brilliant! 475 00:15:48,592 --> 00:15:50,528 We just have to find Charles, but where might he be? 476 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:51,942 He's probably digging up the gold coins. 477 00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:53,944 But who would know where the gold coins are? 478 00:15:53,969 --> 00:15:55,831 Charles! Charles knows where they are. 479 00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:57,738 But where is he... No, wait we're stuck in a loop. 480 00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:59,082 We're super drunk and we're in a loop. 481 00:15:59,151 --> 00:16:01,384 We need to find someone who isn't Charles 482 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,686 who knows where the coins are. 483 00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,454 [KNOCKING] 484 00:16:04,523 --> 00:16:05,989 [GASPS] 485 00:16:06,124 --> 00:16:07,591 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 486 00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:09,139 - It's Reginald VelJohnson. - What's going on? 487 00:16:09,164 --> 00:16:10,389 - Who are you? - I'm Jake Peralta. 488 00:16:10,414 --> 00:16:11,858 You were part of my bachelor party tonight. 489 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,349 Oh, you're the jerk who didn't show. 490 00:16:13,498 --> 00:16:15,622 He knows who I am. 491 00:16:17,235 --> 00:16:19,002 [SOFT SQUEAL] 492 00:16:19,254 --> 00:16:21,682 Okay, so I need to come up with 15 grand 493 00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:24,875 or my father/daughter dance is going to be performed by that. 494 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,895 Wrong. You're forgetting the most obvious option. 495 00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,055 Steal the contract and destroy it. 496 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,380 Destroy a legal document? I can't do that. 497 00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:32,520 You were right, I'm a boring square 498 00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:36,453 who's never actually had a crazy, stranger bone session. 499 00:16:36,521 --> 00:16:38,759 Gina, your looks are just as hurtful as your words. 500 00:16:38,784 --> 00:16:40,790 I'm sorry. I can only control so much. 501 00:16:40,859 --> 00:16:42,692 - I shouldn't have come back. - Okay. Look. 502 00:16:42,728 --> 00:16:44,426 You don't have to steal it. We will. 503 00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:45,562 - Right? - Hell yeah. 504 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,853 You guys don't have to do this. 505 00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:48,298 We told you. We're your bridesmaids. 506 00:16:48,323 --> 00:16:49,370 We have your back. Okay. 507 00:16:49,395 --> 00:16:50,995 I think if we distract him, I can sneak in 508 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,931 and take the contract out of his man purse. 509 00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:54,264 Won't he know what's going on? 510 00:16:54,296 --> 00:16:55,505 He saw all of us with Amy. 511 00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:56,973 Not all of us. 512 00:16:57,579 --> 00:16:58,679 Sick set. 513 00:16:58,704 --> 00:17:00,025 You were really jamming up there. 514 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,064 - Oh... [SOFT LAUGH] - I'm Lucious Lyon. 515 00:17:02,096 --> 00:17:04,381 Record executive at... Executive Records. 516 00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:06,707 Lucious Lyon. I've heard that name. 517 00:17:06,785 --> 00:17:08,729 Anyway, we're always looking for new talent. 518 00:17:08,754 --> 00:17:10,553 "We" being me and my partner. 519 00:17:10,589 --> 00:17:12,789 That's Cookie. Let me introduce you. 520 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,025 [PLAYFUL UPBEAT MUSIC] 521 00:17:15,127 --> 00:17:17,060 [IMITATES BIRD SCREECHING] 522 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:18,495 ♪ ♪ 523 00:17:18,563 --> 00:17:20,606 Where is it? Where is it? 524 00:17:20,631 --> 00:17:22,280 Why are there so many scarves in here? 525 00:17:22,305 --> 00:17:23,504 You looking for this? 526 00:17:23,702 --> 00:17:25,635 [IMITATES BIRD SCREECHING, TRILLING] 527 00:17:25,704 --> 00:17:27,161 I see him, Gina. Thank you. 528 00:17:27,186 --> 00:17:28,371 [IMITATES BIRD SCREECH] 529 00:17:28,396 --> 00:17:29,786 Look, Sergeant Powell, 530 00:17:29,811 --> 00:17:31,270 oh, I'm sorry, is it okay if I call you by 531 00:17:31,295 --> 00:17:32,518 your character name from "Die Hard"? 532 00:17:32,543 --> 00:17:33,590 - No. - Okay. 533 00:17:33,615 --> 00:17:35,793 Look, Reginald, do you know why Charles hired you? 534 00:17:35,903 --> 00:17:38,024 Because I love "Die Hard" more than any other movie, 535 00:17:38,049 --> 00:17:39,854 - and I loved you in it. - For the record, 536 00:17:39,879 --> 00:17:41,412 I loved you from "Family Matters." 537 00:17:41,651 --> 00:17:43,933 Carl Winslow made me want to become a cop. 538 00:17:43,972 --> 00:17:45,253 Come on, Terry, you already have 539 00:17:45,278 --> 00:17:46,659 like six other reasons you became a cop. 540 00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,535 This is not your moment. And for the record, 541 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,844 that's the first time I've ever heard 542 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:50,887 him even mention "Family Matters." 543 00:17:50,912 --> 00:17:52,678 - Look, it's late. - Please leave. 544 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,087 Come on. Look... My best friend is out there. 545 00:17:55,246 --> 00:17:57,077 And you're the only one who knows where he is. 546 00:17:57,102 --> 00:17:58,901 So, as much as I hate to do this, 547 00:17:58,951 --> 00:18:00,914 you're gonna tell us where those coins are hidden, 548 00:18:00,939 --> 00:18:03,083 - or you're gonna regret it. - What are you gonna do to me? 549 00:18:03,108 --> 00:18:05,208 Stay here all night, making this sound: 550 00:18:05,277 --> 00:18:10,046 [HIGH-PITCHED SCREECH] 551 00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:11,378 Fine, fine. 552 00:18:11,683 --> 00:18:13,109 - I'll tell you where he is. - Yes. 553 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,217 Thank you so much. 554 00:18:14,242 --> 00:18:15,541 Also, we're gonna need you to take us there, 555 00:18:15,566 --> 00:18:17,132 'cause we're all too drunk to drive. 556 00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:19,922 You thought you could distract me with a record deal? 557 00:18:19,991 --> 00:18:22,588 Please, I'm already represented, 558 00:18:22,613 --> 00:18:23,726 by my mom. 559 00:18:23,751 --> 00:18:25,683 - God, you're a turd. - Well, this turd 560 00:18:25,929 --> 00:18:28,113 is your best friend's future husband. 561 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,892 - Doink! - Hey, wait, no! 562 00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,850 - Give that back to me! - I'm wild! 563 00:18:32,037 --> 00:18:35,138 - Keep going! Keep going! - [SCREAMING] 564 00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:37,640 - He's gaining on you. - Not for long. 565 00:18:37,709 --> 00:18:39,575 Free shots for everyone! 566 00:18:39,644 --> 00:18:40,677 [CHEERS] 567 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,178 Turtle Bug! 568 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,946 [CHEERS] 569 00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:45,281 Whoo! 570 00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:46,783 Buh-bye, Connie! 571 00:18:46,851 --> 00:18:49,052 Tell your mother I said I never loved you, 572 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:51,649 and that your whole family is a bunch of friggin... 573 00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:53,140 - [HEAVY THUD] - [CROWD GASPS] 574 00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:56,059 - Oh. - [SCATTERED GASPS] 575 00:18:56,161 --> 00:18:58,127 Whoo, I broke a rule! 576 00:18:58,196 --> 00:19:00,229 [CHEERS] 577 00:19:00,254 --> 00:19:02,082 Never have I ever slept with a guy, 578 00:19:02,114 --> 00:19:04,089 broken his heart, hired him to play at my wedding, 579 00:19:04,135 --> 00:19:05,835 stolen a legally binding contract from him, 580 00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:07,737 jumped on a bar and dumped booze on everyone, 581 00:19:07,762 --> 00:19:09,906 fallen off the bar, probably given myself a concussion... 582 00:19:09,934 --> 00:19:11,184 [SLAMS TABLE] and a permanent scar. 583 00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:13,276 - I have ever! - [CHEERS] 584 00:19:13,345 --> 00:19:15,812 Well, it is officially after midnight, 585 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,047 so I can now say whatever I want. 586 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,215 - [INHALES SHARPLY] - Uh-oh. 587 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:20,983 Tonight was awesome, 588 00:19:21,052 --> 00:19:22,952 and I loved hanging out with your dorks. 589 00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:24,987 - What? - Aww, yeah. 590 00:19:25,016 --> 00:19:26,059 - [GLASSES CLINK] - [SOFT LAUGHTER] 591 00:19:26,091 --> 00:19:27,248 You know, the word "dork" 592 00:19:27,273 --> 00:19:29,905 is actually a Celtic word meaning "lungfish." 593 00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:31,791 Kylie, I'm trying so hard. 594 00:19:32,012 --> 00:19:33,622 This is where he told me to wait for you. 595 00:19:33,647 --> 00:19:35,013 Oh, my God. This is the corner where 596 00:19:35,038 --> 00:19:37,598 John McClane met Zeus Carver in "Die Hard 3." 597 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,476 Oh, Charles. Yes, you're here. 598 00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:41,070 What's going on? How did you find me? 599 00:19:41,095 --> 00:19:42,105 Did you solve the puzzle? 600 00:19:42,207 --> 00:19:43,339 No, they didn't. 601 00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:44,532 They cheated again. 602 00:19:44,657 --> 00:19:45,687 Reginald. 603 00:19:45,712 --> 00:19:47,968 Hey man, look. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. 604 00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:50,234 No, I'm the one who should apologize. 605 00:19:50,281 --> 00:19:51,487 I overdid it tonight. 606 00:19:51,512 --> 00:19:53,565 I wanted everything to be perfect, because 607 00:19:53,787 --> 00:19:56,121 it's our last big night before you get married. 608 00:19:56,187 --> 00:19:57,868 I guess I was a little worried 609 00:19:58,123 --> 00:19:59,593 things were gonna change between us. 610 00:19:59,618 --> 00:20:02,125 Oh, Charles. Come on. 611 00:20:02,386 --> 00:20:04,152 Of course, things are gonna change. 612 00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:05,705 I'm getting married. 613 00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:07,864 I mean, didn't you make me less of a priority 614 00:20:07,899 --> 00:20:09,718 when you and Genevieve got together? 615 00:20:12,437 --> 00:20:13,813 - Yes. - See? 616 00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:16,239 I mean, no matter what, we'll always be best friends. 617 00:20:16,307 --> 00:20:17,974 - [SIGHS] - Hey, you know why 618 00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,397 I didn't like your scavenger hunt? 619 00:20:19,422 --> 00:20:20,803 'Cause it was stupid and overcomplicated. 620 00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:22,027 And way too long. 621 00:20:22,052 --> 00:20:23,685 - There was no food. - Or drinks. 622 00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:24,866 This is not a group conversation, guys. 623 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,177 Well, you could have stood a little farther away from us then. 624 00:20:27,202 --> 00:20:28,251 Point taken. 625 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:29,745 I didn't like it because 626 00:20:29,794 --> 00:20:31,760 you got kidnapped right at the beginning. 627 00:20:31,878 --> 00:20:33,433 You were gone for six hours. 628 00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:35,714 I wanted to spend my bachelor party with you. 629 00:20:36,988 --> 00:20:38,019 [SOFT LAUGH] 630 00:20:38,044 --> 00:20:39,444 I can't believe you pissed off 631 00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:41,367 Reginald VelJohnson just to find me. 632 00:20:41,392 --> 00:20:42,991 Oh, please. He'll get over it. 633 00:20:43,101 --> 00:20:45,434 No, I won't. You've made an enemy for life. 634 00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,303 And I'm telling Bruce Willis you suck. 635 00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:50,072 [GUTTURAL GASP] 636 00:20:51,953 --> 00:20:53,319 That's fine. I'm fine with that. 637 00:20:53,702 --> 00:20:55,211 It's good. What's important is that 638 00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:56,588 we made up, my best friend. 639 00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:58,689 Not Bruce Willis. 640 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,082 To Jake and Amy! 641 00:21:00,151 --> 00:21:01,684 ALL: To Jake and Amy! 642 00:21:01,753 --> 00:21:03,953 - [TOGETHER] To us! - [GLASSES CLINK] 643 00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:06,025 Hey, so I need to tell you something. 644 00:21:06,142 --> 00:21:08,455 I had to cancel the wedding band, 645 00:21:08,526 --> 00:21:10,993 because I kind of dated one of the dudes in it. 646 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,383 Yeah, I know. Man bun. 647 00:21:12,408 --> 00:21:14,174 He left me a very long message 648 00:21:14,199 --> 00:21:16,199 - with a lot of details - Oh, no. 649 00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:18,000 He seems like a really passionate guy. 650 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,521 I'm never gonna live this down. 651 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,037 - No, you are not. - [SOFT LAUGH] 652 00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:22,338 I'm just kidding. I'll never bring it up again. 653 00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:23,940 Thank you. You're the sweetest. 654 00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:26,319 - I love you. - I love you too, Turtle Bug. 655 00:21:26,344 --> 00:21:27,477 - Oh, my... - Yeah. 656 00:21:27,512 --> 00:21:29,178 Uh, do I still need to be here? 657 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:32,772 Yes, Reginald. We're all toasted and we need rides home! 658 00:21:33,284 --> 00:21:35,284 [SOFTLY] It's Reginald VelJohnson! 659 00:21:35,632 --> 00:21:40,632 Synced and corrected by Pisuly www.addic7ed.com