1
00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:05,006
(Man laughs continuously)
2
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,689
MAN: Shut up!
3
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,927
MAN: So, girls,
4
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,721
this advertising campaign
is for a new type of aftershave
5
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,202
specifically targeting
the poor demographic.
6
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,441
It's called...
7
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,681
...Stank.
8
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,842
I just want you girls
to give me your best trashy
9
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,047
when we get there, alright?
You understand?
10
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,362
What we're looking for here
is total realism.
11
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,964
Total realism.
12
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:18,522
That's why I picked this,
the worst suburb in Australia.
13
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,521
The worst.
14
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,482
- Have a go at that, bra!
- Wow!
15
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,290
Come on, everyone. Let's go.
16
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,443
Let's go. Security. Thank you.
17
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:50,087
Girls, let's go.
Let's get into our gear. Quickly.
18
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,730
So, girls, when it comes to the walk,
19
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,961
we're going to want
kind of a drunk, flat hustle.
20
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,645
Good.
21
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,411
Ohm.
22
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,721
(Phone rings)
23
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,369
(Shrieks)
24
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,850
I gotta go!
25
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,210
Give me skank!
26
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,641
Ha-ha!
27
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,850
Thanks for the text, man.
28
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,330
Have a go at that, Franky!
29
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,005
Come on, girls. Give it to me!
Give me slut!
30
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,570
Ahh!
31
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,325
Come on, babe. Put something into it.
32
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:45,561
(All laugh)
33
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,126
- Get your gear off!
- I think she was looking on me, man.
34
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,009
- Show us your titties!
- Nah, no way, bro.
35
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,924
- She was on me.
- Show Reg your titties!
36
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,641
Ahh!
37
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,041
(All cheer)
38
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,567
Yeah, fucking cop that,
ya fuckin' anorexic sluts!
39
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:32,044
Fuckin' comin' down here flashing ya
fuckin' gash round, makin' my man horny!
40
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,041
Arggh!
41
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,008
Let's smash those posh wankers!
42
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,924
Arggh!
43
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,891
Arggh!
44
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:48,124
Hey, Shaz, all this
has made me fully toey, babe!
45
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,690
You fancy a 68?
46
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,842
What the fuck's a 68?
47
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,604
It's like a 69,
48
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,285
but you give me head
and then I owe ya one!
49
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,770
I'll fuckin' give ya head!
50
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,127
I'll give ya a fuckin' broken head,
ya fuckwit!
51
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,691
Stop makin' so much bloody noise!
52
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,570
(Siren blares)
- I can't hear the TV!
53
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,289
All the people on the pension...
54
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,851
- Make some noise!
(All cheer)
55
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,524
♪ (Raps) We hang down on the block
56
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,761
♪ This is where we live
and we just don't give a fuck
57
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,603
- Yeah, bro!
J“ 'Cause we don't have a job
58
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,887
♪ Some scam and others rob
59
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,370
♪ We wear thongs, bro
60
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,488
♪ We do AVOs, we wear uggs, bro... ♪
61
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,891
Where'd me kids go?
62
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,723
And if you come here after 7:00...
63
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,927
- You'll have to deal with Kevin.
- Why?
64
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,410
♪ 'Cause we're houses
65
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,890
♪ Houses, housos
66
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,723
♪ Houses, houses, housos
67
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,690
♪ Houses, housos, houses'. 4'
68
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,001
Neighbours getting to be good friends?
69
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,321
Yeah, fucking come down
to Sunnyvale, mate!
70
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,887
(Babies cry)
71
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,804
(Babies cry continuously)
72
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,970
How ya goin'?
73
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,167
My name's Barry. (Laughs)
74
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,889
Most people call me Bazza.
75
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,530
This is me local.
76
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,206
I know ya met me niece, Shazza Jones,
a bit earlier.
77
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,248
She's a good sort, eh? (Laughs)
78
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,642
If I was a bit younger, and wasn't
her uncle, I'd probably give her one.
79
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,641
(Laughs)
80
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,610
He fucked up...
81
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,728
BAZZA: Shazza lives with her de facto,
Dazza.
82
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,848
Yeah, times are tough around here.
83
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,410
(Laughs)
84
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,641
Shut up, ya fuckin' monger!
85
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,130
You spastic!
86
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,930
Have a look!
87
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,561
Bloody parking fines and court bills
and your mum's fuckin' prescriptions!
88
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,050
We need money!
89
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,611
I can't hear the television!
90
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,685
And poor old Shazza,
oh, she hasn't had a good run lately.
91
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,241
Hey, Beryl, can you mind Bub for me?
I need to have a cone!
92
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:56,529
I'm not lookin' after your kids
so you can get off your bloody head!
93
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,010
SHAZZA: Bitch!
94
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,490
What?
95
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:07,922
Shazza's dad, me brother, Wazza,
he passed away recently.
96
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,410
Poor bugger.
97
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,890
He had a heart attack
98
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,611
while he was in bed with this filly
he picked up at the races.
99
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,046
Not the four-legged kind, you know,
that'd be weird.
100
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,930
We were ail upset,
but it hit Shazza pretty hard.
101
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:26,446
I guess the worst part was
we couldn't afford a decent funeral.
102
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,524
We could have got Dad
a heaps better fuckin' headstone
103
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,081
if you didn't waste all the cheque money
on that fuckin' esky wagon!
104
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,367
You're fucked in the face, Daz!
105
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,330
Maybe we should leave Shazza and Dazza
alone for a little while.
106
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,368
Why don't I give you
a tour of Sunnyvale?
107
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,523
Most people think it's a shithole.
But it's not. It's our area.
108
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,887
It's where we grew up.
It's where we live.
109
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,170
These are the local cops.
110
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,209
They're just a bunch of boofheads
if you ask me.
111
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,810
Stop!
112
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,529
Fuck it! Fuck it! They're juveniles.
113
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,010
Too much paperwork. Fuck it.
114
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,685
I'd like to taser
those little arseholes!
115
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,684
Nothin' but a bunch
of fuckin' oxygen thieves!
116
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,683
Yeah, that's the local Lebo gang,
117
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,569
the Sunnyvale Assassins.
118
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,086
Not the bloody sharpest
tools in the shed, this lot.
119
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,971
Last week, they tried to do a drive-by
on a bloke that owed them money.
120
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,362
But because the coppers
defected all their cars,
121
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,408
one of them had to
get his mum to drive them.
122
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,164
(Tyres screech)
123
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,162
What the fuck's going on?! Slow down!
124
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,844
Oh, my God! Like, Mummy!
125
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,842
Slow down, please.
What are you doing?
126
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:46,887
(Yells in Arabic)
127
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,327
Oh, my God! Like, you're s'posed
to go slow so I can shoot them.
128
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,560
(Yells in Arabic)
129
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,245
Who the fuck brings their mum
to a drive-by, you dickhead?!
130
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,765
Shut up, Rocky! Where's your mum?
131
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,366
Don't talk about my mum, Habib,
or I'll shoot ya!
132
00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,850
Did you see that?
133
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,968
I think there was a Ninja
inside the car.
134
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,690
Oh, have a go at this lot.
135
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,728
Yeah, they're the local junkies.
136
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,609
'Cause they keep
robbing all the buses,
137
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,001
they don't even run a bus service
down here anymore.
138
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,243
Ya didn't have to take my lunch,
ya little pricks!
139
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,730
Bloody junkies.
140
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,210
(All cheer)
141
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,443
This here's a bit of a birthday
tradition down here on the block.
142
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,489
'Cause most people
can't afford a cake for their birthdays,
143
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,847
we usually just burn a car instead.
144
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:30,484
Hey, Big Wheels,
you gonna be on the icerink later?
145
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,289
Sure am, bro. Wanna buy some dope?
146
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,770
Nah, man.
147
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,161
Even if I did,
like, as if I could afford it.
148
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,967
That bloke there is Franky.
149
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,042
He's Dana's best mate.
150
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,931
Good bloke, but he's always in trouble
with either the coppers or the ladies.
151
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,964
Franky, fuckin' off
from a threesome before ya blow?
152
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,804
I thought I was dating
a fuckin' gentleman.
153
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,531
Oh, one minute slap my arse,
'Oh, go harder, Franky.'
154
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,010
Now, 'Be gentle, man.'
155
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,367
Don't confuse on my brain, please.
(Siren blares)
156
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,045
Oh, sometimes he's in trouble
with both at the same time.
157
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,010
(Siren blares)
158
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,685
Falzoni! Stop, Falzoni! Stop there!
159
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,603
Here. Time for me
to take the dogs for a run.
160
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,770
Fuckin' go, Franky!
161
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,762
Go fuckin' under it!
Fuckin' under it!
162
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,441
Fuck!
163
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,571
- Stop the cops, mate!
- Fuck off!
164
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,244
I wanna block the coppers, mate!
165
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,730
Arggh!
166
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,883
Park your fuckin' vehicle properly,
will ya, ya fuckwit!
167
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,804
I got a fucked motor brain,
ya fuckin' mongrel dog!
168
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,121
- Get the little prick!
- Come here, ya little fuck!
169
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,361
Too slow, mate! Too slow!
170
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,409
Big Wheels! Give us a lift, mate.
Turn around! The cops are comin'!
171
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,890
- Get on, get on.
- Go!
172
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,043
- Wanna buy some rack, man, or what?
- No, man, just a lift.
173
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:53,045
If you wanna know why the coppers
are after Franky, well, it's simple.
174
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,523
'Cause he's always doin' stupid shit.
175
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:08,120
Have a bit of a squiz at what he did
yesterday 'cause he was bored.
176
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,007
I am the cop hunter!
177
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,128
(Tyres screech)
178
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,610
What the fuck is he doing?
179
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:21,321
- Ahhhh!
- Ahhhhhh!
180
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:28,561
Ohm.
181
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,006
How did I miss them?!
182
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,490
Alcohol.
183
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,801
That's why they say
don't drink and drive.
184
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,609
It affects accuracy.
185
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,329
Ha!
186
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,810
Look on that, mate!
187
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,643
Not even a scratch, mate!
188
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:47,282
And I did it 'cause I hate authority,
mate! I hate it!
189
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,329
Sunnyvale, mate!
Sunnyvale for life, mate.
190
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:51,481
Yeah!
191
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,130
You're fuckin' mental!
192
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,804
Fuck, what's mental about that?
193
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,928
Oh, I think I might have shit meself!
194
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,089
Come back here, ya little fuck!
195
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,842
- Where'd he fuckin' go?
- Fucked if I know.
196
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,605
Ask these coconuts.
They might have fuckin' seen him.
197
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,601
Oi!
198
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,443
Did you see a little guy
run through here
199
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,922
with his hat on backwards, little
poofy shorts and fuckin' thongs on?
200
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,604
Why don't youse just piss off
201
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,046
and go catch some real criminals
202
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:22,250
instead of comin' down here
and scarin' my kids, ya dogs?!
203
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:27,326
What the fuck do you think
we're trying to do, ya stupid scrag!
204
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,721
Oi, don't talk to my missus like that,
bro.
205
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,087
That's Dazza's other best mate, Kev,
206
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,684
and his missus, Vanessa.
207
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,170
She's not a bad bird,
208
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,208
but she's always on about her arse.
209
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,010
You two lazy pigs are just jealous, eh,
210
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,207
that you'll never
get this fuckin' arse, eh?!
211
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,682
The fuckin' bestest arse
in Sunnyvale, mate!
212
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,251
The bestest arse in fuckin' Sunnyvale?
213
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,447
I'm surprised it fits
in fuckin' Sunnyvale.
214
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,444
- Your head looks like a fuckin' arse.
- It's a two-suburber.
215
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,365
I reckon she's got a donkey arse,
and the donkey wants it back.
216
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,762
You can't fuckin' sleep there, mate.
Get that fuckin' thing out of the way.
217
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,161
- Hey! Where youse off to?
- Oh, we're not ambos, mate!
218
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,686
- Just ring triple-O, ya pillock!
- Come help me!
219
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,968
Oh, shit!
220
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,368
Darren, go and get the letters.
221
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,849
I fuckin' twisted me knee
222
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,571
when I slipped on the shitty nappy
that you didn't pick up!
223
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,608
You might remember
I did my fuckin' hip, too,
224
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,090
which is why I can't work,
225
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,447
so I can't get up
and go and get the mail!
226
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,363
Fuck! Thanks for caring!
227
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,330
Reg! Get the letters.
228
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,524
The letters.
229
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,242
(Shouting in distance)
230
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,888
Tyres!
Why would they steal the fuckin' tyres?
231
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,360
Give us back our fuckin' tyres,
ya junkies!
232
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,771
(Laughs)
233
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,410
Oh, me fuckin' nuts!
234
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,641
You useless fuckin' monger, Reg!
235
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,961
Don't speak to your stepfather
like that!
236
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,406
Oh, come on, Mum.
You don't even root him anymore.
237
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,050
You probably don't even toss him.
238
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,611
You're only with him
for a fuckin' carer's benefit.
239
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,090
I'm not stupid!
240
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,686
(Laughs)
241
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,489
Sharon!
242
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,529
(Continues laughing)
243
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,761
Ya spastic fuckin' clown.
244
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,250
(Continues laughing)
245
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,083
Shut up!
246
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,242
' He)', Shaz?
- What?!
247
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,924
I got a letter here for ya.
248
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,570
It's from Alice Springs.
249
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,087
I don't know anyone from Alice Springs,
ya dickhead!
250
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,440
WOMAN'. Dear Sharon,
I know you're pissed off with me
251
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:46,365
because I ran off with Keith the
kangaroo trainer when you were three.
252
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:50,604
But right now, love,
put that emotion to the side.
253
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,126
I'm sick and I need to see ya.
254
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,842
Me address is on the envelope
and me phone number, too,
255
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:02,402
or you can add me on Facebook,
or you can send me a tweet.
256
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,041
Hurry, love. Your loving mum, Rayleen.
257
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,691
How could you leave me and Dad
for that fuckin' gronk, Mum?
258
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,887
How could ya?
259
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,484
Fuckin' bitch.
260
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,610
(Sighs)
261
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,090
Oh, hey, Shaz,
262
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,162
I know you're upset
but I'm dying for a cone.
263
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,650
Can you chuck us the bong?
264
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,087
Nah, look, me mum
just sent me a letter saying she's sick
265
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,924
and I just don't know how to feel
about it, alright?
266
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,968
Didn't she piss off when you were a kid?
267
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,645
SHAZZA: It's fucked.
268
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,530
I don't even remember
that much about her, eh.
269
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,285
Except she taught me
how to roll me first joint.
270
00:15:56,280 --> 00:16:00,330
I remember once Mum teaching me
me first fuckin' swear word.
271
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:04,484
Your dad, Wazza,
is fucked in the face, Shazza.
272
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,881
Say it. Fucked in the face.
273
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,008
Fucked in the face.
274
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,604
And the only other thing I remember
275
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,444
was catching Mum and Dad rooting
back in the day.
276
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:18,923
Fuck, Dad used to go hard
after he'd come home from the pub.
277
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,402
I never even got to know her.
She just pissed off, eh.
278
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,609
Like Mr Kelly says,
'Such is life', Shaz.
279
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,523
Now stop being
such a selfish mole,
280
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,010
and give us the fuckin' bong!
281
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,490
Or at least a ciggie!
282
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,369
Piss off! Arggh!
283
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,044
Serves ya right, ya dickhead!
284
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,647
Arggh! Oh, shit, my fuckin' arm!
285
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,608
Anybody video that?
286
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,444
Why weren't you filming?
I could have got more pension!
287
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,442
(Shouts in Arabic)
- Ohh, shit!
288
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,965
(Phone beeps)
289
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,450
Oh, fuck this!
290
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,011
I'm going down the icerink
with Franky and Kev!
291
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,322
Bring me some smokes!
And some tampons!
292
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:58,201
Oh, yeah! I just pay for 'em with me
imaginary credit card, you bloody idiot!
293
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,488
Don't grow up and be like Mummy, Neddy.
294
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,970
(Coughs)
295
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,123
How could ya, Mum?
296
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,530
(Shouts in Arabic)
297
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,046
Oh, no, it's all good, mate.
Don't worry about payment.
298
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,361
It's pensioner-free Tuesday.
I'm on the pension.
299
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:32,850
VIP, very important pensioner.
300
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,286
Good on ya, mate.
Keep an eye on my wheels for me.
301
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,446
Dazza, you space cadet.
How you doing, man?
302
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,010
Yeah, not bad.
303
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,844
The missus has got the shits again.
304
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,650
How's the cripple drifting going?
305
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,450
Like, I think they've pulled off
a few decent moves today.
306
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,523
I've even seen, like, a couple of
these donuts they've been doing.
307
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,808
Spin 'em, Big Wheels! Go, mate!
308
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,643
It's not a patch on Bathurst, matey.
309
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,041
Oh, hey,
this'll make everything better, bro.
310
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,041
(Giggles)
311
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,520
Franky, matey, what's going on
with the pussy lately?
312
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,727
'Cause you keep changing
your Facey status, eh.
313
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,210
I can't keep up, mate.
314
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,726
Yeah, man, look, I don't know,
the thing of it is, like,
315
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,883
I think I'm still full like cut
over what's happened to Kylie,
316
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,247
'cause I do feel like
I'm full responsible and that.
317
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,766
KYLIE, ON PHONE: I love you.
- I keep like doing my head in
318
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,047
by playing her last video message
over and over.
319
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,168
- I love you!
- Oh, it wasn't your fault, bro.
320
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,289
Just like a stale beer,
ya gotta move on, cuz.
321
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,601
But, man, like, you know,
I feel guilty 'cause,
322
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,331
look, I was the one
who asked her to tag that train,
323
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,129
like, as a love dedication tag.
324
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,250
You really gonna do it?
325
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,083
- I love you.
- Yeah, I love you, man!
326
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:46,369
And, like, you know, if probably
she had not tagged it for me...
327
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,850
Yeah, go, go.
328
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,684
...maybe she would not, like,
have got like hitten by the train.
329
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,450
Go, Kylie!
330
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,007
(Horn blows)
331
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,000
Kylie, that's too close for a tag!
332
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,963
Kylieeee!
333
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,327
KYLIE: I love you.
- Kev's right, matey.
334
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,084
Ya just gotta get over it, eh.
335
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,844
Yeah, but, man, like, I've been trying.
336
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,002
Like, you know,
I've been rooting other chicks
337
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,401
to, like, make my brain forget
you know, about Kylie.
338
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,368
GIRL: Franky, come on!
339
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:17,885
- Um...
- Fuck, Franky!
340
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,042
- Yeah, it's just not happening, mate.
- What?!
341
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,849
Like, I got back with Cheree, my ex.
342
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,446
Fuck, she used to be hot, man,
but then she got on the ice.
343
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,762
And now ya can't get a fat, mate.
She's a shocker.
344
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,570
I'm fuckin' awesome. I still am.
I always was and I still am...
345
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,164
Shush, shush, shush, don't talk.
346
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,367
What? Tell me! Talk to me! Fuck!
347
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:35,850
Alright, you wanna know?
348
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,366
You're a skank, ya got on the ice
and now look at ya, mate!
349
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,362
Get out of my house! Get out, Franky!
350
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,681
Get out of here,
you stinking piece of shit!
351
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,365
- Ah, you're a skank, mate!
- You arsehole!
352
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,442
And you know the barmaid?
Like, from the pub?
353
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,046
Me and her have, like,
a semi-regular thing going.
354
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,963
(squeals repeatedly)
355
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,962
- And youse know Kazza the stripper?
- Yeah.
356
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,806
Yeah, we're sort of been...
like an unofficial BF and GF.
357
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,451
- Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
- Ohhhhhh!
358
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,011
I thought you were going out
with Kylie's sister now.
359
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,490
Nah, man.
360
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,131
Like, you know, she's just, like,
friends with benefits.
361
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,327
Sucked in, cops! (Grunts)
362
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,721
And the only reason
I let her stay, like, in my place
363
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,724
is 'cause she's up for, like,
threesomes and foursomes and that.
364
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,449
Ohh! Yeah!
365
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,329
My dick has never been happier.
366
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,288
But my heart
is, like, I don't know, man.
367
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,044
I've still got Kylie on my heart, mate.
368
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,566
Like a herpe on your heart?
369
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,369
Don't talk to me about herpe, man.
370
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,203
Crystal, I think, still has one.
371
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,611
Ahhhh!
372
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,570
My missus has got one of those
contraceptives in her arm.
373
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,324
You know, those little stick things?
374
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,802
I don't know what's in it, cuz,
but she either wants to bash me...
375
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,290
I hate you!
376
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,203
...or ride rodeo.
377
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,168
I'm so sorry, Kevin!
378
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,289
(Both yell)
379
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,884
- Ahhhh!
- Fucking hell!
380
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,850
What, did your kids like try
and burn your house down again?
381
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,330
Yeah, bloody silly kids.
382
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,164
Hey, nothin' wrong
with kids burning shit down.
383
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,606
I burnt down me first school
when I was four, mate.
384
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,490
- (Giggles)
- Just like Ned Kelly!
385
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,245
- Oh, choice tatt, bro.
- Fuckin' go, Neddy!
386
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,607
Hey! There's no alcohol in here, mate.
387
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,807
Hey, you know what I don't like,
dickhead?
388
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,610
When people like you
puttin' your authority on me.
389
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,889
My thong has gone on the ice.
390
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,450
Hello?
391
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,930
SHAZZA: What day is it today?
392
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,720
It's Thursday, two o'clock, and
you're still at that icerink, aren't ya?
393
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,529
- Fuckin' moron!
- Franky!
394
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,045
- Franky mate!
- What?
395
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,327
I forgot.
It's our Centrelink appointment now.
396
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,006
But I gotta get a new thong.
It's busted, man.
397
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,008
Ohh, ohh! Ohh... ooh.
398
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,490
Thanks, mate.
399
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,085
Hey, Mullet.
Give me one of your thongs, mate.
400
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,090
Sucked in, mate.
401
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,810
It's your chick, man.
402
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,723
Oi, Shazza! We're going now, alright?
403
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,166
- Where are you goin'?
- I'm goin' to the pub.
404
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,686
Don't fuck up.
We really need some money.
405
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,489
Hey! Franky!
406
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,370
You owe me money for the child support!
407
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,681
That kid looks nothin' like me, mate!
408
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,887
It's got a head
as big as a bloody pot plant.
409
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:24,090
I saw the baby! The baby
was look exactly like your nose!
410
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,731
If you continue to put your authority
on me, mate,
411
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,484
I'm gonna lose it on you, alright?
412
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,370
No, no! You have to pay me the money!
413
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,204
Fuckin' calm down!
Bash him later, Franky.
414
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:35,201
So?
415
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,690
Fuck, ya got shit to do!
416
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,967
- You a chicken!
- I gotta go to Centrelink, mate!
417
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,327
- Chicken!
- This is not over, alright?
418
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,561
♪ (Sings) Chicken little Frankily! ♪
419
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,688
You're gonna cop
a fuckin' thonging, mate!
420
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,364
Chicken! Frankily!
421
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,523
Oh, gidday, Nessa. What's doin'?
422
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,729
Oh, one of me kids, they
bit a teacher's finger off at school.
423
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:56,721
Yeah.
424
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,200
How fuckin' awesome is that, eh?
(Laughs)
425
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,201
Oi!
426
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,441
Give us a beer, would ya, darlin'?
427
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,568
I've only got enough for half,
but fill her up
428
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,642
and I'll give you
the rest on cheque day, eh?
429
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,050
Oh, what's doing, Shazza?
430
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,281
Oh, Dazza and Franky
have gone up to Centrelink.
431
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,009
They're trying to get us cashed up, eh?
432
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,241
BAZZA'. Now, Dazza
needed to make Shazza happy,
433
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,527
so he needed money real bad.
434
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,330
Now, Franky remembered
down at Centrelink
435
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,482
if you tell them
you can't feed your kids,
436
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,084
they'll give you food vouchers.
437
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,082
Feed your miserable children.
438
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,651
Franky, mate,
what fuckin' good is this shit?
439
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,167
- These are the food vouchers, yeah?
- Yeah, but it's not money.
440
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,764
This is what we're gonna do.
441
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,606
OK, go voucher them chickens
in the checkout.
442
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,682
I'm gonna go pinch
some raffle tickets.
443
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,082
Right, now we go into the pub
and we tell the stooges
444
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,084
that we're gonna raffle off
them chickens for charity, mate.
445
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,809
(Laughs)
446
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,290
What's it for, mate?
447
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,250
Yeah, uh, this will be
for the victims of the fire, man.
448
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,288
This is for the victims of the flood.
449
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,282
This is for the soldiers
that got killed
450
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,248
on the landmines
on the Anzacs and that.
451
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,765
Uh, vagina research.
452
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,444
It's for herpe research.
453
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,124
Cancer on dick research.
454
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:11,361
Franky, mate,
you should have stuck to one story!
455
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:14,364
Look at those guys, mate.
They're fuckin' talking to each other!
456
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,522
Hey, fuckwit,
you told me it was for the floods,
457
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,568
you told him
it's for the fuckin' bushfires.
458
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,086
- Yeah, what the fuck is it?
- They're all worthy causes.
459
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,570
Fuck this!
460
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,722
Dazza, man, go home.
Save me a chicken leg.
461
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,722
This is not gonna take long.
462
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,802
Thong the fuck out of 'em, Franky!
463
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,610
Big Wheels!
464
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,844
Oh, Franky bro.
465
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,330
What's this, man?
466
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,163
We made a Sunnyvale spa bath!
467
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,049
- Hop in.
- Yeah, sick.
468
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,690
But what happened to all the money?
469
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,729
I used a little bit to get beer
and smokes for me and Kev.
470
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,610
Most of it went on blood plugs
for the missus.
471
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,410
BAZZA: Now, after the boys
all had a go in the hot tub...
472
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,970
Hot tub!
473
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,847
...and after Dazza realised the junkies
had knocked off his esky wheels...
474
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,365
No!
475
00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,647
Fuck you, Dazza! (Laughs)
476
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,449
Fucking junkies!
477
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,171
...Franky suggested
they go and see the Lebos.
478
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:21,131
They might have some dirty deed
that might make the boys some money.
479
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:24,602
Yeah, no, we'll just do a bashing
for them, or maybe knock off some cars.
480
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,524
- Then we'll get you some cash, mate.
- Oh, choice, bro.
481
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,284
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
482
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,643
Well, the boys were out of luck,
483
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,369
'cause half an hour earlier,
484
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,727
the Assassins had
a run-in with this little bloke.
485
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:40,042
His name's Johno,
and, believe it or not, he's a bikie.
486
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,725
Hey, tic-tac,
where'd you get the ride from, bro?
487
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:43,846
Santa?
488
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,922
(All laugh)
489
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,843
Do you know who I am?!
490
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,490
Who? Poofter smurf?
491
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:50,970
(All laugh)
492
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,567
You wanna go, fuckers?
Let's fuckin' go, then!
493
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,210
- Come on!
- Smash him!
494
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,328
- Argghhh!
- Come on!
495
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,083
That's Johno's brother, Angry.
496
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,081
He's the president
497
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,923
of the local bikie gang, The Hunters.
498
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,844
These blokes run
all sorts of scams around here,
499
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,446
and they're not the son of buggers
you want to mess with.
500
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,445
Yeah, I know my little brother
can be a prick, but he's blood.
501
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,364
You fuck with him and you're dog meat.
502
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,169
Argqghhhh!
503
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,326
Sorry!
504
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,129
Arrghhh!
505
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:27,202
I think that rules the Lebos out
as an option.
506
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,201
Shit!
507
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,089
Ohh! Ohh!
508
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,003
(Siren blares)
509
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,890
Well, that's when the Lebo boys' luck
went from bad to shocking.
510
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,803
Somebody called the coppers
to help them,
511
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,290
but when they turned up,
512
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,442
they got arrested
for outstanding warrants.
513
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,930
Ah, ya fuckin' knob.
514
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,410
Shut the fuck up, ya zubs!
515
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,483
(All shout)
516
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,451
(Phone rings)
- Sharon, answer the bloody phone!
517
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,489
I'm in here
dealing with my life at the moment!
518
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,608
You fuckin' answer it!
519
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,410
Reg, you answer it.
520
00:26:58,400 --> 00:26:59,890
(Phone rings)
521
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,530
(Long distance beeps)
522
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,126
WOMAN, ON PHONE: Hello?
- Hello?
523
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,202
- Hello?
- Hello?
524
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,441
- Hello?
- Hello?
525
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,525
Whaddya want?!
526
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,242
(Coughs)
527
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,050
- What, ya monger?
- (Coughs)
528
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,283
- Give it here and get out! Shit!
- Eughh! (Coughs)
529
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,327
Hello?
530
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:29,644
If this is DOCS, Shazza Jones
can't come to the phone at the moment
531
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:34,248
and she's not responsible for her kids
burning or breaking anything.
532
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:39,040
Sharon? It's me, love. Your mum.
533
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,280
What?
534
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,171
Listen, love. I don't think
I've got too much time left.
535
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:48,961
So I wanna see you face to face
so I can explain things to you.
536
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,486
I... I can't talk right now.
537
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,887
(Sobs)
538
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,364
Hey, slow down. I'm rooted.
539
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,601
We walked two whole streets
for fuckin' nothing!
540
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,968
Listen, man,
on my brain, I just remembered...
541
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,167
You know that cafe
down near the train station?
542
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,650
We'll knock it off.
543
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,484
So, Kev, me and you, we'll go
check it out, make sure it's cool.
544
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,970
You get some masks.
545
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,849
Hey, then you're gonna get your money.
546
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,891
What is this, mate?
These masks are shit.
547
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,690
What, are you gonna go in
the Maori Mardi Gras with this thing?
548
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,524
Fuckin' Tyrannosaurus Dickhead
over here.
549
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,488
Do I look like a poof to you, bro?
550
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,888
What are you doin', man?
551
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:44,370
What the hell?
552
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,850
How's that, mate?
553
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,569
What's that s'posed to be, a mask?
554
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,403
Bro, you gotta put some eye holes in it!
555
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,801
That fuckin' thing!
This is fuckin' stupid, mate!
556
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,929
You can't even see off it!
Come on, man!
557
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,527
You know what?
I'm just gonna do it myself, mate.
558
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,409
Just text me if the coppers come.
559
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,086
I just ran out of credit, man.
Have youse got credit?
560
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,241
Nuh.
561
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,730
Mind that.
562
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,689
(Shouting in distance)
563
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,523
Hey, is that Franky's ex?
564
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,602
- Cheree?
- Yeah, bro.
565
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:28,686
BAZZA: One thing about Sunnyvale is
those last few days before cheque day.
566
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,490
You know, that's when people
really get desperate for money.
567
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,529
Hey, hey, hey!
What about friends of the Frankily?
568
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,010
What do you want, mate?!
569
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,002
Fuckin' not now, bro. Franky's in there.
570
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,607
Junior and Cheree have been
chasing Franky's child support for ages.
571
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,809
Dazza and Kev, they had to get
those two idiots away from the cafe.
572
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,768
'Cause they were causing such a stink,
573
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,888
they were going to blow it all
for Franky.
574
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,370
Don't push me!
575
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,045
- Tell me where Frankily is?
- What the fuck's a Frankily?
576
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,089
You know exactly where he is.
He always fuckin' hangs out with you.
577
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,082
- Get outta here, mate! And you!
- Yeah!
578
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,162
Get outta here!
Go make some more grey babies!
579
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:01,889
(Laughs) Oh, that's not funny.
580
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,929
Junior! There's Franky!
And he's got money!
581
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:05,921
Frankily!
582
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,127
What's this bullshit, man?
583
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,248
Hey, give me that money
for the child support!
584
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,730
Piss off, dickhead mate!
585
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,324
Proceeds of crime do not count
586
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,766
as legitimate income
for child support, dickhead!
587
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,411
It's your baby!
You put the sperm on the stomach!
588
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,641
We only had a sixty-niner, mate!
589
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,130
(Screams)
590
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,164
(Screams) Junior!
591
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,806
Franky!
592
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,121
Hey, Bubbles! Muli!
593
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,929
Help me! Help me!
594
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,524
- Uh!
- Get off him, Franky!
595
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,288
Junior, I got it!
596
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,169
- Cops! Cops!
(Siren blares)
597
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,650
Cops! Cops!
598
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,244
It's police, man!
599
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:45,730
Run! Come on, everybody!
600
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:52,929
Oh, cops, cops, cops, cops.
601
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,127
(Siren blares)
602
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,767
Mate, how did we lose the money, mate?
603
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,250
There's, like, three of us.
604
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,164
Mate, I lost two fuckin' good thongs
on the bitch! I had a go!
605
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,242
How much was it, bro?
606
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,004
What, you think I had time to count it?
607
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,606
Man, I done a lot of robberies
in my time,
608
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,090
but I swear to God,
609
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,890
that whole thing in there,
that was just freaky, mate.
610
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:24,451
So, like, I go in there, right,
and nobody notices me.
611
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,011
Why? 'Cause they're all,
like, playing on their phones.
612
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,889
Like, it's like I'm invisible.
613
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,010
(Cup clatters)
614
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,968
Man, I don't know.
615
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,884
I'm just putting the whole thing down
in my 'freaky shit' files.
616
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,530
And I don't mean to be a prick, Dazza,
617
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,490
but, man, my thongs are killing me
from this stooging around.
618
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:05,970
Like, I need a rest now, mate.
619
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,850
Yeah, bro, and after that punch-on,
I'm thirsty as.
620
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,649
This is like work!
621
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,802
Fuck Shazza and her fuckin' money!
622
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,325
I need a cone!
623
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,324
- Hey, Big Wheels.
- Hey, Dazza.
624
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,243
- You wanna buy some pot?
- Fuck, yeah.
625
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,129
I got no money, but.
Can I get it on credit?
626
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,724
- No, no credit, mate.
- Fuck!
627
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,646
A lot of people say
a lot of stuff about Sunnyvale,
628
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,961
like it's like
a shit sandwich at a picnic.
629
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,450
That's rubbish.
630
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,921
Tell ya one thing, but.
It's never boring.
631
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:37,490
(Chuckles)
632
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:38,970
I got her number.
633
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,485
Yeah, last Friday.
634
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,961
Hallelujah, baby! Whoo-hoo!
635
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,803
(Grunts)
636
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,802
Oi! Oi, Shaz?
637
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,643
Hey, I don't mind if you sleep,
638
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,847
but watch where you
drop your cigarette, right?
639
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:05,922
Ya nearly set Neddy on fire, darl.
640
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,241
You and I need to have a talk, Darren.
641
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:09,765
(cries)
642
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,127
Oh, poo, he stinks! You take him.
643
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,610
You're fuckin' useless!
644
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:14,886
(cries)
645
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,521
Look, Daz, I need you to listen to me
for a second, alright?
646
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:22,320
Now, I haven't asked you for nothin'
since we've been together, eh?
647
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:26,086
But me mum, she's real fuckin' sick
and I need to go visit her, right?
648
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:27,570
She lives in Ayers Rock.
649
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,689
Can't ya just Skype her,
like, on the computer?
650
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:36,571
No, I can't just fuckin' Skype her!
I wanna go see her!
651
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,369
(cries)
652
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,408
Shazza, stop hassling me, right?!
653
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,722
You're making me feel like a nut
twisted up inside a pair of budgies!
654
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,291
Hey! Will you two shut the fuck up?!
655
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,089
Get fucked!
656
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,686
We can't shoot up
with all that fuckin' noise out there!
657
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,170
Up your arse, mate!
658
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,447
- And up your arse too, bitch!
- Fuck you!
659
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,329
BERYL: I can't hear the TV!
660
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,047
Dazza, ya bogan unit. Get in here, man.
661
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,042
Out! You boys jump in the boot.
662
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,929
Make some room for your Uncle Dazza.
663
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,804
- Nice wheels, Franky.
- You like the paint, man?
664
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,883
I just knocked this off.
I've done it all myself, mate.
665
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,644
Pimped my own ride.
666
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,531
Dazza, you're like
gettin' me depressed lookin' at ya.
667
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,682
- What's wrong?
- Shazza's doin' my head in.
668
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,921
She wants us to
take this big fuckin' trip, right?
669
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:33,367
I don't know why her fuckin' slut of a
mum can't just drive her arse down here.
670
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,840
- Where's her mum live?
- Near fuckin' Ayers Rock!
671
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:36,841
Ohm.
672
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,320
How the fuck am I gonna get
me and Shaz up to Ayers Rock?
673
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,927
Ayers Rock, it's nothin' but a big rock.
674
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,002
- It's fuckin' boring.
- (Laughs)
675
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,367
Hey, Crystal? Wanna give me a pash?
676
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:51,850
Franky, look out!
677
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,444
Ahhh!
678
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,685
(Tyres screech)
679
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,010
(Cheering, laughter)
- Coppers, mate!
680
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,241
Hey, hey, watch this! Watch this!
681
00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:07,083
(Tyres screech)
682
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,364
Hey! Hey, hey, mate!
683
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,089
- Are you alright?
- (Grunts)
684
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,890
Well, then, you'd better cop a thong,
you dickhead!
685
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,405
(Laughter)
686
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,448
Get the other one. Get the other one!
687
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,330
(Cheering, laughter)
688
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,845
Suck on that, poof!
689
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,605
(Shouting)
690
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,125
Go, go, go, so!
691
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,169
Hey, kids, stay in the boot!
I'll come back for ya later!
692
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,286
(Laughs)
693
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,690
All units!
694
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,170
All Sunnyvale units.
695
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,527
Officers down! Officers down!
696
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,683
Oh, fuck! Useless bastards.
They always do this.
697
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,161
Uh, Sunnyvale 4 radio,
that's a negative.
698
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,811
We've just been handed
a brown paper bag.
699
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,485
We are assessing its contents. Over.
700
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,767
(Laughs) I like that one.
701
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,090
What are you staring at my chips for?
702
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:00,923
I'm not staring at your chips.
703
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:02,968
No, you are. You are.
704
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,486
I'm just seeing if you were
gonna finish 'em this time.
705
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,131
No, no, no. You stare
at my fuckin' chips every time.
706
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,645
You do it every fuckin' time.
707
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,484
Yeah, because you never
finish your chips, Garry. Every time.
708
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,403
- I fuckin' do.
- Garry, you never do.
709
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,641
- That's why I don't order chips.
- You want chips?
710
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,008
- Are you gonna finish 'em or not?
- Here! Have some fuckin' chips!
711
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,525
Why would you do that, Garry?
712
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,522
Hope you're happy now!
713
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,443
(Laughter)
714
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,330
Hey, how about that cop?
He copped a thong in the face, mate!
715
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,891
You know what it was?
It was like Grand Thonged Auto.
716
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,370
(Laughter)
717
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:36,490
Hey, Dazza, you gotta be
cheered up now, man. That was mad.
718
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,324
No, even the pot's not working, man.
719
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,402
What about if I get Kazza
to, like, you know,
720
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,289
flash these stripper tits, man?
721
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,850
Would that cheer you up?
722
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:48,083
Of course I wanna see 'em.
But I need fuckin' money, mate.
723
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,686
Look, man, you know,
I do have a scam we could try.
724
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,923
That fat bloke down the road,
he's done it, and he got a mad payout.
725
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,410
What is it?
726
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,607
BAZZA: Franky knew this bloke Jim.
727
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,605
Well, let's just say,
Jim's a bit of a big bloke.
728
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,604
Anyway, he sort of fell
through the floor of his house.
729
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,090
(Wood creaks)
730
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,809
So Jim sued the Housing Commission.
731
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:12,010
The big bugger got a huge payout,
and now he's ail cashed up.
732
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:16,688
So Franky thought maybe with Beryl's
help, they could make some money too.
733
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:18,921
No bloody way! Ahh!
734
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,207
Argghh...!
735
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:22,201
Ahh!
736
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,690
Again!
737
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,569
(All grunt)
738
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:26,561
Drop!
739
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,131
(Laughs)
740
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:30,645
(All grunt)
741
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,130
" Drop!
" Ohh!
742
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:33,167
(Laughs)
743
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:34,650
That's e-bloody-nuff!
744
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:38,326
I'm already on the disability!
I don't wanna really be bloody disabled!
745
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,084
- One more, one more.
- No!
746
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:41,809
(Laughs)
747
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,643
- Drop!
- Ahhh!
748
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:44,641
(Laughs)
749
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,165
- It's not working!
- One minute.
750
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:47,650
I wanna check.
751
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,731
Look, it's a concrete slab.
752
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:54,371
She's heavy as,
but she's not going through.
753
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,124
Oh, good one, Mum!
754
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,681
Look, Daz!
I know youse are tryin' your hardest
755
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,490
but I've gotta tell you,
you are fuckin' useless!
756
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,130
Alright! I know, OK?!
757
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,441
I blame me dad
because he wrecked me confidence
758
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,807
and was always
putting fuckin' pressure on me!
759
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,326
- Fuck!
- (Scoffs)
760
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:15,211
Darren, you are a complete
and utter fucking idiot.
761
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,441
You are a bloody loser.
762
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,204
You are a disgrace to me.
763
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,726
Dazza, you are a fucking wombat.
764
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,563
You are a liability.
765
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,769
You are a fuckin' drongo, aren't ya?
766
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,410
You are a fuckin' wombat.
767
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,449
- What are ya?
- A fuckin' wombat.
768
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,681
Why can't you all leave me alone?!
769
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,489
What sort of wombat are you?
770
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,801
Hairy-nosed wombat.
771
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,529
Go away!
772
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,329
Sad sack. Wombat.
773
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,288
Fuckin' idiot.
774
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,806
- Can I have a cuddle?
- You want a cuddle, do ya?
775
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:48,770
OK. (Laughs)
776
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,444
(Neck cracks)
777
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,125
- You feel better now, do ya, son?
- Yes, Dad.
778
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,567
He was such a prick,
and he fucked up my whole life, Shaz!
779
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:10,289
- Oh, gidday, Uncle Baz.
- Gidday, Shazza.
780
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,567
Now, if you're really desperate
in Sunnyvale,
781
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,961
and you got no-one else
to sort out your dramas,
782
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:17,689
you go and see the bikies.
783
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:18,681
Yeah.
784
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,490
For the right price,
they can organise just about anything.
785
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:27,407
Well, Shazza Jones.
What can I do for you?
786
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,847
Look, mate, you know
we done business together before?
787
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,128
I just need to make some money
so I can go visit me mum.
788
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,805
Shazza, you know I'd like to help ya.
789
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,804
And I do not want to sound like
an arsehole.
790
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,371
But we already tried you out
for the strip club.
791
00:39:54,240 --> 00:39:57,722
What do we have to do
to get a tip off you tight-arses, eh?
792
00:39:57,720 --> 00:40:00,121
Dazza may think you're a cougar,
793
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,489
but I can't put an old Holden
in with a bunch of new Ferraris.
794
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,165
Yeah, but you know
you can rely on me, eh.
795
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,403
I did that whole thing for you in Bali
with the boogie board,
796
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,802
and I didn't fuck it up like
Dazza's stupid cousin Schapelle did.
797
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,370
- Did I?
- Arggh!
798
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,283
Oh, fuck off, ya ugg boot.
799
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,408
Ya fuckin' dirty skank!
800
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,563
Hey, Johno! Settle. This is business.
801
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,642
Tank, take him outside.
802
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,130
Polish me Harley.
803
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,282
But I fuckin' polished it yesterday!
804
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,647
Oh, fuck off me! Fuck off!
805
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,130
Come here, Shaz.
806
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,249
Tell me what you need.
Maybe I can help ya.
807
00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:42,086
Now, Shazza told Angry she needed
to go up to Ayers Rock to see her mum.
808
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,845
I reckon Shazza
should've bought a lotto ticket,
809
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,047
'cause it was her lucky day.
810
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,921
Right, here's the keys to the van.
811
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,888
This is a fuel card.
812
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:55,848
It's only good for fuel.
813
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,366
So, you make the drop,
you can go and see your mum.
814
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:01,887
And then you bring the van back.
815
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,247
Do not fuck this up.
816
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:08,764
Arggh!
817
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:13,485
Oi, Dazza!
818
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,768
Get up, ya bloody gronk.
We're goin' on a road trip.
819
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,806
Kev!
820
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,282
They took the kids, you stupid arsehole!
They took 'em!
821
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,726
They took our babies! You bastard!
822
00:41:25,720 --> 00:41:27,210
Kev, what's going on, mate?
823
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,522
Fuckin' DOCS took the kids, bro.
'Cause they burnt down the school again.
824
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,488
Fuck you, Kevin!
It's your fuckin' fault!
825
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,960
No wait! This could
work out real good, right?
826
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,450
Youse won't need child care,
827
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,727
'cause me and Shazza,
we're doin' a road trip.
828
00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:41,007
- You guys wanna come?
- Yeah.
829
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,764
Oh, fuck yeah!
830
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,410
Hey, Mum!
831
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,687
We're goin' on a fuckin' road trip!
832
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,284
When are ya fuckin' comin' back?
833
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,203
I don't fuckin' know!
834
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,964
Well, fuck off then!
835
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,281
Ahhh! Ahhh!
836
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,203
(Squeals)
- Ahhhh!
837
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:57,964
(Phone rings)
838
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,009
- Ahh! Ahh!
- Hello?
839
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,650
Franky! Franky!
840
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,405
Dazza, bro, I'm having a threesome
at the moment, man.
841
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,529
We're going to Ayers Rock, mate!
We've got this mad campervan, mate.
842
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,127
It's got TV, DVDs,
got a shower and a dunny even.
843
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:14,610
- Franky...
- Hey!
844
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,331
- We've got a fridge full of free piss.
- Free piss?
845
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,482
So get your houso arse on the bus!
Come on, mate!
846
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,528
Why are we still talking on the phone,
man?
847
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,161
Are you fuckin' serious, Franky?
848
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,811
I bludged me shift at the strip club
for this root.
849
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,167
Yeah, and I was
finally gettin' me rhythm on.
850
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,606
None of us blew,
so it's all equals, man.
851
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,763
Oh, we don't have all fuckin' day,
Franky! Jesus!
852
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,649
We'll fuckin' finish each other off.
853
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,041
Hey, wait a minute.
854
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,761
Hey! Did one of youse
pull the tarp off the Corvette?
855
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:48,761
Nun!
856
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,411
I think someone's
been stoogin' around with it.
857
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,243
Where's the engine?
858
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,287
(All cheer)
859
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:00,770
Road trip, mate!
860
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:02,569
Spewin' about that engine, but.
861
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,723
Oh, hey, what the fuck
are those fobs up to, bro?
862
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,967
Hey! Hey!
863
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,850
Hey, you coconuts! Is that my engine?
864
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,320
Hey, you didn't pay us the money
for the child support,
865
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,130
so we're selling your engine
so we can go get some money.
866
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:19,610
Ha, ha!
867
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,648
Why is Donkey Kong in the nude?
868
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:24,530
He doesn't want
to get his clothes dirty.
869
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,681
Stupid.
870
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,444
Don't get oil on your dip stick!
871
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,523
I've just gotta steal another engine.
Sucked in!
872
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,045
Stupid fobs, mate.
873
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,931
Hey, this bed's mad.
I'm gonna get up and have a go.
874
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,571
Oi! Just get down, Franky.
875
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,642
Franky, get down!
876
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:44,167
Oh, man!
This is like full comfortable, man.
877
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,401
- Just sit down in your seat, mate.
- Take it easy.
878
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,368
Why didn't youse tell me
there was a bed?
879
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,647
I would have brought one of the chicks.
880
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,642
So the bikies said all we have to do
881
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:55,484
is drive the van up there
and drive it back?
882
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:58,848
Well, don't fuckin' argue.
It means I get to see me mum.
883
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,888
Anyway,
they give us a fridge full of piss.
884
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:02,803
What more do ya fuckin' want, eh?
885
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,087
Hey, what's this?
886
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,642
Whose is these bags?
887
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,766
BAZZA: Now, Shazza's
being a bit of a sly bugger here.
888
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,809
The bikies usually run naughty stuff
up to the Territory
889
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,802
in the back of
this old couple's caravan.
890
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,371
But the old biddies
got busted the other week.
891
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:33,001
Well, looks like opportunity
was knocking for everyone involved.
892
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,129
Right, here's the keys to the van.
893
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,488
The bikies, they needed a driver,
894
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,528
and Shazza needed
a way to see her mum.
895
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,761
Hey. ls all these, like, you know, drugs
in these bags and the guns up there,
896
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,762
are they like complimentary as well?
897
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,888
Oi! Just put the shit back, would ya!
898
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:58,723
So these are not complimentary?
899
00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:01,246
- What, you mean we're mules?
- Did you make us mules?
900
00:45:01,240 --> 00:45:03,004
- Hey?
- Shazza, ya sly bitch.
901
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,490
Yeah, alright.
902
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:07,086
So we're movin' shit for the bikies.
903
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,208
If youse had come up
with some more cash,
904
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:11,567
I wouldn't have had to bullshit ya,
would I?
905
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,369
You fuckin' lyin' slut, Shazza!
906
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,250
I don't mind doin' the crime.
I just wanna know I'm doin' it.
907
00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:18,527
Oh, shit,
there's a booze bus comin' up!
908
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,208
- Shit!
- Quick, hide that shit, man!
909
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,647
Well, fuckin' hold this! I've got an
idea on my brain. Let me drive. Move.
910
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,371
- Just take it. Just get in there.
- Fuck!
911
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,647
- Switch mate, switch.
- Shit!
912
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:37,601
Hey, hey, hey, look who it is.
The K-Mart fuckin' thong slapper.
913
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,568
Fuckin' Falzoni.
914
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,210
Let me handle it, man.
915
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:42,725
Stop there!
916
00:45:42,720 --> 00:45:45,849
Stop fuckin' there! Stop here!
917
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,444
Oh... oh, here?
918
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,841
- Hey!
- Fuck!
919
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,810
- Stop the fucking vehicle here!
- Just one minute. I need a sip.
920
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,928
...arrest you, Falzoni!
(Tyres screech)
921
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,127
What the fuck are you doin'?
Just fuckin' stop!
922
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,010
- Stop the car, Falzoni! Here!
- There? OK.
923
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,401
Fuckin' stop! Stop here!
924
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,368
- Relax, mate!
- Get the fuck out!
925
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,728
- I'm comin'.
- Get out the other fuckin' side now.
926
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:10,246
BAZZA: You're probably wondering
what Franky's up to.
927
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:14,131
Well, he may look stupid,
but he's always got a plan.
928
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,010
Listen, meet me at the Macca's,
like, near on the freeway.
929
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,571
I'll be there. Wait for me, alright?
I'll be there.
930
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:25,011
Alright. Youse can arrest on me now.
931
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,685
You're not getting away this time,
you little shitbag!
932
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,170
Hey, look at this, mate!
933
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,686
Franky wanted to create
so much shit with the coppers
934
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,967
that they'd forget all about the van.
935
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:35,485
Tastes like bacon.
936
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,608
Let's pepper-spray the prick!
937
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,889
Doesn't work! 'Cause of
the sunnies, you dickheads!
938
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:42,927
- (Grunts)
- Fuck!
939
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,605
(All grunt and yell)
940
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,489
Taser the little fuck!
941
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,530
(Electrical sizzling)
942
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,807
(Groans)
943
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,044
mew
944
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,362
(All yell)
945
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,203
Sucked in!
946
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,970
The bourbon covered
the electric effect, mate!
947
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:14,883
BAZZA: Franky's plan
worked like a charm.
948
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,087
The coppers went apeshit after him.
949
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:20,289
Oh, and the van full of naughty stuff
got away soot-free.
950
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,401
Don't go over the fence!
Cut him off at the park.
951
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,084
I know what this little prick's like!
952
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:30,085
♪ ROCK MUSIC
953
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,283
- He's gone there, Garry!
- Yep.
954
00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:47,724
(Rock music continues)
955
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:57,363
Garry, I'm not jumping over another
fence. Just fuckin' kick it in.
956
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,443
- Jump the fucking fence.
- Just kick the fuckin' thing in, mate.
957
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,086
- (Gasps)
- That's fuckin' him.
958
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:07,570
(imitates woman) Hello.
959
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,530
Hey. Hey, hey, it's a fuckin' burqa.
960
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:13,205
This case could go on forever
if we get this fuckin' wrong.
961
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,363
Remember what they taught us?
Always be fuckin' sure.
962
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,762
Hey, hey, hey.
Look at the fuckin' thongs.
963
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,491
- Huh?
- Look at those fuckin' bunions.
964
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,608
- It's him, Gaz.
- Oh, it's him.
965
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,370
Piss off, dickhead!
966
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:33,964
Argh!
967
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,486
GARRY: Come back here,
Falzoni, ya little fucker!
968
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,209
I can't fuckin' chase anymore!
969
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,168
Oh, for fuck's sake, try!
970
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,084
I've got a massive stitch,
or I'm havin' a fuckin' heart attack.
971
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:44,570
You know why?
972
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:47,723
It's because of all the fuckin' chips
you stole off me, you fuckwit.
973
00:48:47,720 --> 00:48:49,210
Oh!
974
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,322
(Siren wails in distance)
975
00:48:59,720 --> 00:49:01,643
ANGRY: This is the way
it's gonna go, boys.
976
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,847
You go in with a shottie - boom, boom.
977
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,330
You go in...
978
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,971
(Laughter)
979
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:13,888
You know , when that new batch
hits Alice, we're rolling in money.
980
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,565
He went down like a sack of shit.
981
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:20,007
And I just fully started stomping,
caving his head in.
982
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:23,243
Caving his head in,
the stupid fuck!
983
00:49:23,240 --> 00:49:25,208
He doesn't even know who I am!
984
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,282
Fuck you! Fuck you!
985
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:28,805
(Snap!)
986
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,609
Fuckin' training wheels.
987
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,251
BAZZA: Now after losing
the booze bus cops,
988
00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:36,801
Franky knew he'd only have to worry
about the coppers on pushbikes.
989
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:40,930
JOHNO: Argh! Some arsehole
stole my fuckin' bike!
990
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:45,050
Yeah, and with Johno's bike,
he thought he could outrun them easy.
991
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:49,284
But what Franky didn't know was
that the Sunnyvale Area Command
992
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,284
had allocated a couple of
new vehicles to the block.
993
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,806
Yep, brand-new spanking bikes.
994
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,087
(Sirens wail)
- Pull over! Pull over!
995
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:14,091
Go round! Cut him off!
996
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,204
Fuck off!
997
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,487
(Laughs) Sucked in, mate!
998
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:33,167
- Falzoni!
- Run, boys!
999
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:34,969
Pull over!
1000
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:38,804
Falzoni!
1001
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,849
♪ HIP-HOP
1002
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:57,650
What the fuck happened to me bike?
1003
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:02,970
Mobile Two,
1004
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:06,851
Falzoni's heading down towards
Ramsey Street on a blue chopper.
1005
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,490
Intercept!
1006
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:23,166
(Heavy metal plays on mobile phone)
1007
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,601
- Pull over!
- Pick up!
1008
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:31,964
Franky.
1009
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:33,450
Crystal, put Kazza on!
1010
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,842
(Slurs) Here, it's Franky for you.
1011
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:40,561
KAZZA: Yeah, Franky?
- I need ya to do something for me.
1012
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,848
I'm comin' now!
1013
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:50,248
Do it now!
1014
00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:53,084
Now! Now!
1015
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,651
Do it now! Now!
1016
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,410
(Grunts)
1017
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,129
Argh!
1018
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:21,325
That would have to be at least
12 demerit points, dickhead.
1019
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:24,244
BAZZA: These two coppers have
been on pushbikes for years,
1020
00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:28,404
and the very first day they get road
bikes, they wrote one off completely
1021
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,801
and the junkies stripped
the other one for parts.
1022
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:34,202
- Yeah, suck this, copper!
- Fuck!
1023
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,283
Hand in your badges now.
1024
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:41,604
Well, those two got fired and they
had to work as security guards
1025
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:42,931
somewhere in the bush.
1026
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,081
Hey!
(All cheer)
1027
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:53,329
Stupid bikies, mate, sucked in!
Dickheads, mate. Dickheads.
1028
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:04,811
DAZZA: Go, Kevin!
1029
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,529
Have a go, Nessa!
1030
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:10,161
I've never done it in a campervan
before. Fuck, it's romantic!
1031
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:14,643
Hey, don't distract me with sex noises.
I'm a bit pissed and the road's blurry.
1032
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,244
It's hard to concentrate, mate.
1033
00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:17,765
I'll be really quiet, eh?
1034
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,762
- I was talkin' to them, yeah?
(Nessa moans)
1035
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:21,444
Fuckin' black magic, Kevin!
1036
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,727
Goin' for another Baby Bonus, are youse?
1037
00:53:23,720 --> 00:53:25,768
Fuck yeah! Oh, yes!
1038
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:27,569
Hey, hold this for a second.
1039
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:31,929
You have to do the GPS, man,
'cause my hand's busy with the bottle.
1040
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,763
I love computers.
1041
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:37,207
Me mum said she only lives about
20 minutes away from the Rock, eh?
1042
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,123
- Oh, right.
(Moaning and grunting)
1043
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,441
- I fuckin' love this campervan, Kevin!
- Whoo!
1044
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:45,365
I put Ayers Rock in. It just says
go straight for three hours.
1045
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,966
Three hours?
That doesn't sound right, babe.
1046
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:49,769
It's what the computer says.
1047
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:53,128
Thanks for makin' me look like a
dickhead in front of me mates again!
1048
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:56,169
Fuckin' relax!
I was just askin', ya sook.
1049
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,162
No need to be such a bitch about it!
1050
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:01,084
To be fair, man, you can be
a bit of a sook, you know.
1051
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:02,809
You do it!
1052
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:04,689
NESSA: Oh yeah, Kevin! (Grunts)
1053
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:05,886
(Kevin moans)
1054
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,882
I've never done it
in a campervan, Kevin!
1055
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,888
It's not very impressive, eh?
1056
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:28,410
Oh! Isn't it amazing?
It's so spiritual, hey?
1057
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:32,883
Look mate, I hate to tease you in front
of your friends, but that's not it.
1058
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:34,211
You're a fuckin' dickhead.
1059
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:38,091
Oh, well what is it then,
the Taj Mahal, huh, from China?
1060
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:40,731
Look, man. It's a servo.
1061
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:45,964
(Hollow knocking)
1062
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,964
- Err!
- See, it's hollow, isn't it?
1063
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,531
Hollow like your fuckin' head!
1064
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:55,889
BAZZA: So after a little bit of
confusion, they were on their way.
1065
00:54:55,880 --> 00:55:00,044
But In true Sunnyvale style,
all the temptations on the way
1066
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,202
were very hard to resist.
1067
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,680
Hey, let's all go to Nimbin!
1068
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:06,489
(All cheer)
1069
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:10,963
Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin!
1070
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,281
Nimbin! Nimbin!
1071
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:20,607
(Laughter)
1072
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:24,491
Hey, hey, let's go to Ned Kelly's grave!
1073
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,767
(Cheering)
1074
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:32,929
Neddy!
1075
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:40,124
(Wails) Oh, Ned! You're a legend!
1076
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:41,963
Shazza!
1077
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:46,170
- I gotta go see Bon Scott's grave.
- (Laughs)
1078
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:47,730
NOW!
1079
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,011
Oh, they detoured bloody everywhere,
1080
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,241
but finally they made it
to Alice Springs.
1081
00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:10,801
Now, all they had to do was
drop off the bikies' gear
1082
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,280
and it was time to see Shazza's mum.
1083
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:21,003
SHAZZA: Hi!
1084
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,401
Oi! Hello!
1085
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,971
Hey, there's a note.
1086
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:31,966
It says, like, urn,
'Sorry for the inconveni... venience.
1087
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,645
We are busy burying someone.
1088
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:38,042
Be back later. The bickies.'
1089
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:39,530
Bikies. Bikies.
1090
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,561
(Pants) I love you, Kevin.
1091
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:46,130
(Grunting and groaning)
1092
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:51,207
Fuck, all that shit with the bikies
has given me a fuckin' headache.
1093
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,089
Give us a fuckin' smoke.
1094
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:57,641
- That's me last fuckin' one!
- Oh, fuckin' pull ya head in, dickhead.
1095
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:01,889
(Both grunt and groan)
- Blah!
1096
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:18,043
(sighs happily)
1097
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,970
WOMAN: Who the fuck's that? (Coughs)
1098
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,486
Mum, is that you?
1099
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,926
It's me, Sharon!
1100
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:40,766
Oh, come right in, love.
I'm out the back in the bedroom.
1101
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,764
Say hi to your mum for me, alright?
We're gonna watch the van.
1102
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,491
Yeah, you weren't invited anyway,
ya dickhead.
1103
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:48,130
Cam, Ness.
1104
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,723
Is that you, Sharon?
1105
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,001
Yes, Mum. It's me.
1106
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:10,490
Oh!
1107
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,286
Um, hi, I'm Vanessa, Shazza's mate.
1108
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:18,001
I've got a great arse, don't ya think?
1109
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,651
Would ya fuck off, Nessa? Jesus!
1110
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:26,362
Well, I'll just go watch TV.
Hope you got fuckin' Foxtel!
1111
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:32,689
Thanks for coming, love.
1112
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:34,523
Yeah, what's wrong with you, anyway?
1113
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:40,527
Well, the doctors reckon it's the fags,
but they're fuckin' liars anyway.
1114
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:48,811
- You haven't got one, have ya, love?
- Oh, um, nah, sorry.
1115
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:50,848
I just smoked me last one, eh?
1116
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,162
(Coughs, gags)
1117
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:58,722
Oh, fuck me! Look at all these animals!
1118
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:00,848
It's like Noah's Park. Have a look!
1119
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,002
(Animals grunt)
1120
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:08,403
Which one's got the biggest dick?
1121
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,927
The kiwi. om Nah. (Laughs)
1122
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:14,524
(LOWS)
1123
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:18,605
Camels, mate. They look similar
to the Assassins, them. Look at 'em.
1124
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:21,080
It does look like Abdul.
You gotta admit it, mate.
1125
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,651
(Hisses)
(Hisses, all laugh)
1126
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:25,529
You know what I hate?
1127
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:27,124
- I hate kangaroos, man.
- What?!
1128
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,805
They think they're good.
They're on everything.
1129
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,041
They're on like underpants
of Olympic swimmers,
1130
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:34,725
they're like on like coins
and notes and this and that.
1131
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:36,882
They're just wankers
of the animal world.
1132
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:39,167
They're like heroes, man!
Like Ned Kelly.
1133
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:42,721
Shazza, I got you here to apologise
1134
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,849
to you, love, for leaving you
when you were three.
1135
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:49,083
Yeah, well, it was pretty fuckin' fucked
in the face of ya.
1136
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:50,923
It wasn't my fault.
1137
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,810
Your dad had gambling debts
coming out of his arse.
1138
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:56,883
Oh, blame Dad.
He was always there for us.
1139
00:59:56,880 --> 01:00:01,329
It wasn't my fault! I had to create
18 fuckin' false identities
1140
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,049
to pay off his debts.
1141
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:05,088
Are you fuckin' serious?
1142
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:08,004
The cops were after me.
I had to piss off.
1143
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:12,961
Shit, Mum!
Why didn't you say something before?
1144
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,008
Can ya forgive me?
1145
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:20,926
Um, is it just me, or is there,
like, no fuckin' TV in here?
1146
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,651
How can you live without a fuckin' TV?
1147
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,007
Don't know why youse
are standing over there, mate.
1148
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,241
- It stinks from them animals.
- Yeah, alright.
1149
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,607
Hey, Kev, give us your phone.
1150
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,807
- I want to show Franky that app we got.
- Oh, yeah!
1151
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,326
- Check this out, man. It's a pussy.
- What do you mean?
1152
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:38,961
Look at it, man. Get your finger and
rub the pussy and it's gonna come.
1153
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:41,122
- On the screen?
- On the screen, man. Look, rub.
1154
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,361
(Woman moans with pleasure, phone beeps)
1155
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:45,408
- It's like a chick.
- Keep goin', keep goin'.
1156
01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:48,210
What, I go quicker'? I get it now!
You do this and then...
1157
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:49,725
I see. (Laughs)
1158
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:51,927
- Hey, look at that!
(Moaning intensifies)
1159
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:54,366
(All laugh, woman yells with pleasure)
1160
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,488
(Woman screams)
- Dickhead, mate!
1161
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:58,642
It's fucked on it. Here, take it.
1162
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,130
- What?
- Not my fault!
1163
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:02,963
- Hey! Mmm.
(Bottle sloshes)
1164
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,691
Watch me give these animals the shits,
fully.
1165
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,082
(Both laugh)
1166
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,128
Skippy, ya big poof, come here, mate.
1167
01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:12,929
- Go, Franky!
- Oh!
1168
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:14,649
Watch this. (Laughs)
1169
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:16,051
- Go, Skippy!
- Yeah!
1170
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:21,089
Catch him! Catch him!
Dive on his tail!
1171
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:23,970
We're so similar, you and me.
1172
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:26,327
Fuckin' rortin' Centrelink
1173
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:30,644
and fuckin' fucked up de factos
and you love ya smokes.
1174
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,404
Do ya bong on, Mum?
1175
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:38,407
Not now, but back in the days,
I loved a bucket bong.
1176
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:41,165
Mum! (Laughs)
1177
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:42,730
Ah, excuse me.
1178
01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:44,882
You know ya got nothin'
in ya fuckin' fridge?
1179
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:46,723
- Go, Franky!
- Yeah, go, Franky!
1180
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:48,324
Who am I, mate?
1181
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:49,970
Who am I, ya big poof?
1182
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:51,769
Franky's being an emu too!
1183
01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:53,569
(Both laugh)
(Shrieks at emu)
1184
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:55,164
I can't tell the difference!
1185
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:57,766
- Watch out he doesn't peck ya!
- Come on!
1186
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:00,843
- Oh, he's cheesin' him up!
- I'll get ripped up.
1187
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:03,241
- Hit it! Hit it!
- You want a go?
1188
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:05,607
- You want a go, bird?!
- Smash him!
1189
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:07,489
I swear, I hate these animals, man.
1190
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:10,086
He's got a big bum, like my missus.
1191
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,367
(Laughter)
- You're right, Kev!
1192
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:14,567
The emu's arse is
the same as your missus!
1193
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:18,481
It's piss-boring in there, eh?
1194
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:20,482
Well, get your big arse
down here, woman!
1195
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:23,131
Franky's doin' some funny shit! (Laughs)
1196
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:26,966
(Emu shrieks)
- Should I go in? Alright, I'll go in.
1197
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:32,282
Hey, I thought ya said
ya didn't have smokes, ya bitch.
1198
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:35,727
Oh, come on, Mum.
It was me third-last one.
1199
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:37,210
(Laughter in distance)
1200
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:42,047
Oi! Would youse fuckin' shut up?!
I'm tryin' to talk to me fuckin' mum!
1201
01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:43,644
(Laughter)
- (Yells)
1202
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:47,044
- Pecked me on the dick!
(Growls)
1203
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,202
- You bastard!
(Smash!)
1204
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:50,725
It pecked him on the pecker!
1205
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:53,007
(Laughter in distance)
1206
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:56,963
You have it, Mum.
1207
01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:02,126
Shazza, I'm fuckin' proud of you.
You turned out real good.
1208
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:03,770
Thanks, Mum.
1209
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:06,206
Give it a lick, mate! Give it a lick!
That'll fix it!
1210
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,851
- (Groans)
- Oh, now him too!
1211
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,490
Let me film it. Let me film it.
1212
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:13,882
Shaz, do me a favour.
1213
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:18,568
When I'm gone, take me ashes
up on top of Ayers Rock
1214
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:21,928
and scatter 'em all over the place.
1215
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:24,161
I promise, Mum.
1216
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,208
You're a good girl, Shaz.
1217
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,362
(Coughs)
1218
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:32,569
Mum! Mum, are you alright?
1219
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:34,722
(Coughs and groans)
1220
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:38,520
(All laugh and chat)
1221
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:41,404
Oi!
1222
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:46,122
Oi! Me mum just fuckin' died!
1223
01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:55,445
(Nessa moans, thumping)
1224
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:57,329
Oh, yes, Kevin! Give it to me!
1225
01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,004
Hey, Franky!
1226
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,765
That was a top idea selling
the fuel to pay for the cremation.
1227
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:05,731
I am amazed at the ideas
that come on my brain, Dazza.
1228
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:09,322
BAZZA: Oh, the cheeky buggers.
1229
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:12,642
They used the bikies' fuel card
to fill up that drum with petrol.
1230
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:16,406
Then they drove a half a kay up the road
and started undercutting the servo.
1231
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:20,491
Oh, man! They made
a fair bit of money.
1232
01:04:20,480 --> 01:04:22,482
Would have made more
if it was high octane.
1233
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:25,723
Yeah, I wish youse would
have got a bit more cash, but.
1234
01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:29,202
I feel fuckin' povo puttin'
Mum's ashes in her old ugg boot.
1235
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:33,603
- It's all good, babe. Sheepskin.
- Oh, shut ya fuckin' trap!
1236
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:35,807
That's fuckin' 100% Australian wool.
1237
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:02,650
Whoo!
1238
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:15,005
Excuse me, mate, is this the road
to the real Ayers Rock, or what?
1239
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,287
Yes, this is the road
to the real Ayers Rock.
1240
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:20,204
$25 entry fee per person.
1241
01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:23,886
What? You're not gonna tell us
we have to pay to get in here, are ya?
1242
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,042
25 bucks?
Bro, what have you got in there?
1243
01:05:26,040 --> 01:05:28,327
Waterslides and, like, you know,
rides and shit?
1244
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:30,561
What about if
we got our pension cards?
1245
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,484
Not even 1,000 pension cards
will get you in.
1246
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:38,168
Simply pay, or disappear
out of my life once and for all.
1247
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:40,447
Mate, how dare you try and block us
1248
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,807
like this is fuckin'
Facebook or some shit?!
1249
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,690
We got a right to see that rock,
ya fuckin' cockhead.
1250
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:48,206
Same as we got a right
to celebrate the Anzacs
1251
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:50,328
for floggin' the Chinese back
in the day.
1252
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:51,367
♪ FANFARE
1253
01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:53,010
We're Aussies, mate.
1254
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:56,447
Ya gotta let us in, ya fuckin'
four-eyed knob jockey.
1255
01:05:56,440 --> 01:06:00,411
We have those fees so that
fuckin' four-eyed knob jockeys like me
1256
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:04,007
can keep bogans like you from
coming in here and wrecking the place.
1257
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,367
So buzz off.
1258
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:10,524
BAZZA: Now, people in Sunnyvale might
be lazy and they might be bludgers.
1259
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:14,844
But one thing about us - we're not
used to takin' no for an answer.
1260
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:17,650
You don't wanna give
us permission? Stuff ya, then.
1261
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,290
We'll just break in.
1262
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:22,329
(Laughs)
Mate, that wasn't even a challenge.
1263
01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:25,449
There was no barbed wire fence,
no security cameras.
1264
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:26,930
Pfft! (Laughs)
1265
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,929
Look at this.
1266
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:38,049
Is that a UFO, man?
1267
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,003
- What?
- Where'd it go?
1268
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,082
You're fuckin' seein' things, bro.
Let's go.
1269
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:48,084
♪ THE FUNKOARS: Vamoose
1270
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:11,047
We're not seriously climbing that?
1271
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:14,522
It was me mum's dyin' wish.
Fuckin' come on.
1272
01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:18,882
No, fuck this, bro.
Do I look like a forklift to you?
1273
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,201
I don't want to carry this shit
all the way up there.
1274
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,680
Why don't we just do
the barbecue over here?
1275
01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:26,843
It can be the tribute to death
to the mother barbecue.
1276
01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:38,009
(All cheer)
1277
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:41,449
(Sizzling)
1278
01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:46,244
♪ HEAVY METAL
1279
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:11,404
♪ KING TIDE: Chemical
1280
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,443
(Tin rattles)
1281
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,487
KYLIE, ON PHONE:
I love you. I love you a lot.
1282
01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:42,642
Kylie! (Echoes)
1283
01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:47,521
If you can hear me up there,
I fully miss you!
1284
01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:49,966
Kylie!!
1285
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,128
(Laughs)
1286
01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:04,043
(Grunting and groaning)
1287
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:05,883
(Nessa yells)
1288
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:10,408
That's it, boys. Give 'em an Ularoot,
Housos style. That's it.
1289
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:12,402
Hey, hey, Franky! Check this out!
1290
01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:14,482
Where's the clown who
wouldn't let us in now?
1291
01:09:14,480 --> 01:09:15,970
I wish he could see youse!
1292
01:09:15,960 --> 01:09:17,962
Fancy that dickhead
sayin' they're tryin'
1293
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,122
to keep people like us outta here.
1294
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:21,610
What's wrong with us?
1295
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:23,728
- Hey, Dazza!
(Both hoot and holler)
1296
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:25,210
What the fuck are you doing?
1297
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:28,249
Hey, I'm gonna go for a climb.
I'll be back later. Hectic!
1298
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:30,368
(Grunting and moaning)
1299
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:32,203
Oh, give me Ayers Rock style, mate!
1300
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:36,285
(Moaning and yelling)
1301
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:39,284
♪ THE FUNKOARS: It's All Good
1302
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:01,841
Hey, Shaz, do ya reckon I'd get wasted
if I snorted your mum's ashes?
1303
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:05,686
You are deadset
fucked in the face, aren't ya?
1304
01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:08,684
(Siren wails)
1305
01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:11,081
Did '
- You invite them to the orgy? (Laughs)
1306
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:15,001
BAZZA: Sometimes your luck
can go from good to bad
1307
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:18,004
in the time it takes to fill out
your Centrelink forms.
1308
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:19,923
Look who it is.
1309
01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:21,684
That's the two coppers who got fired,
1310
01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:24,843
and I think it's fair to say
they're still pretty shitty.
1311
01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:26,444
Fuckin' housos.
1312
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:38,609
Ha. It's not one of my best ones,
1313
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:41,171
but, I swear, who would have
thought tagging Ayers Rock
1314
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:43,128
would be easier than tagging a train?
1315
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:46,681
Sunnyvale for life, Australia!
1316
01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:48,967
Yeah!
1317
01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:53,249
♪ BROKEN ENGLISH:
Don't Go Getting Caught
1318
01:10:53,240 --> 01:10:55,811
(Swearing and shouting)
1319
01:10:55,800 --> 01:10:57,450
(Shouting)
1320
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:20,725
In breaking news, the former
Mayor of Sunnyvale, Simon Abbott,
1321
01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:23,007
has been elected into
the Federal Parliament.
1322
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:26,129
As the new Federal Minister
for National Monuments,
1323
01:11:26,120 --> 01:11:30,205
I would just like to say that
places like the Sydney Harbour Bridge
1324
01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:33,409
and the Opera House,
in fact, all our national monuments,
1325
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:36,847
will be protected vigorously
by my ministry.
1326
01:11:36,840 --> 01:11:38,410
Thank you.
1327
01:11:38,400 --> 01:11:40,721
In national news, four people
have been arrested
1328
01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:43,041
for breaking into Uluru National Park.
1329
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:47,364
Unconfirmed reports claim
they started fires and had an orgy.
1330
01:11:47,360 --> 01:11:49,886
- Bloody hell!
- That's Mum!
1331
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:51,644
(Laughs)
1332
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:53,927
(Shrieks abuse)
1333
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:56,491
BIKIES: Whoo! Yeah!
1334
01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:58,369
(Shouting)
1335
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:01,330
Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
1336
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:05,325
Apparently the group made
a barbecue, had sex, took drugs
1337
01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:09,882
and then defaced the rock
by covering this section in graffiti.
1338
01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:14,283
Yeah! Go, Sunnyvale!
Go, Sunnyvale! Yeah!
1339
01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:17,204
Shut up, you idiots!
1340
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:21,683
Can't you see in the background -
the coppers have got our campervan.
1341
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:25,401
(Screaming, yelling)
1342
01:12:26,480 --> 01:12:28,687
That's bloody disgusting!
1343
01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:30,409
Bloody outrageous!
1344
01:12:30,400 --> 01:12:33,165
NEWSREADER : The group are
not from the Northern Territory,
1345
01:12:33,160 --> 01:12:36,403
but from the notorious housing estate
known as The Block,
1346
01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:38,767
in Sunnyvale, New South Wales.
1347
01:12:38,760 --> 01:12:41,923
REPORTER: What's your
reaction to this arrest?
1348
01:12:41,920 --> 01:12:44,287
You guys, like, film everything
and that, eh,
1349
01:12:44,280 --> 01:12:47,602
and then like f--- it up on TV
and make us look like we're f---ed, eh?
1350
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:49,841
- We're not f---ed.
- Yeah, we're not f---ed.
1351
01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:52,844
- It's just a rock.
- Yeah, but, I mean...
1352
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:54,763
I'm standing on a rock now.
1353
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,206
- Have a look.
- Yeah, but it's not Ayers Rock.
1354
01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:59,043
What's your response to that?
1355
01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:04,729
Oh, what's your response to these
is a bit more like it, don't ya think?
1356
01:13:04,720 --> 01:13:06,688
Simon, get in here!
1357
01:13:06,680 --> 01:13:08,409
Senator.
1358
01:13:08,400 --> 01:13:11,563
I hated those scumbags
when I was Mayor of Sunnyvale.
1359
01:13:11,560 --> 01:13:15,485
How dare they desecrate
one of our great national objects?
1360
01:13:16,600 --> 01:13:21,322
Simon, I want to be kept informed
of all the details regarding this case.
1361
01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:31,043
What do you reckon happened to Franky?
1362
01:13:31,040 --> 01:13:33,281
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe a dingo ate him.
1363
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:35,362
(Both laugh)
- Shut the fuck up!
1364
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:37,408
The judge is about to talk.
1365
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:40,006
Miss Jones.
1366
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,287
Mr Smith.
1367
01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:45,284
Mr... Takamatu?
1368
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:48,045
And Miss Talawahoo.
1369
01:13:48,040 --> 01:13:51,442
Have you got anything to say
before I pass sentence?
1370
01:13:51,440 --> 01:13:52,930
Yeah.
1371
01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:55,048
Listen, Judge, matey, I do, alright?
1372
01:13:55,040 --> 01:13:59,204
All I was tryin' to do
was sprinkle me mum's ashes
1373
01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:02,921
what are in that ugg boot right there
on top of the rock.
1374
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:07,847
Now, can you tell me, as an Australian,
how can that possibly be illegal?
1375
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:09,330
You tell him, Sharon!
1376
01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:11,322
Yeah, and, mate, it's un-Australian
1377
01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:15,609
for you to tell us that, on our
own rock, we can't have a barbecue.
1378
01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:17,967
It's a bloody Aussie tradition, mate.
1379
01:14:17,960 --> 01:14:20,201
- Fuckin' tell him, Shaz!
- Yeah.
1380
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:22,806
Now, I don't know much
about the Northern Territory,
1381
01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:25,849
but I heard youse
aren't no soft cocks, eh?
1382
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:29,322
And anyway,
even if what we done was illegal,
1383
01:14:29,320 --> 01:14:32,722
as a true-blue Aussie,
it wasn't wrong, mate.
1384
01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:35,451
Especially here in the Territory.
1385
01:14:35,440 --> 01:14:39,411
This place is the piss-sinking capital
of Australia,
1386
01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:43,564
and I, for one, fuckin' love it!
1387
01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:45,927
(Applause)
1388
01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:52,724
Miss Jones,
you know, you're bloody right.
1389
01:14:52,720 --> 01:14:56,486
In this part of Australia,
we still love a beer and a barbie.
1390
01:14:56,480 --> 01:14:58,847
(Whispers) And the occasional bong.
1391
01:14:58,840 --> 01:15:01,446
- Oh, what a cone-head!
(Chuckling)
1392
01:15:01,440 --> 01:15:03,841
I'm gonna let youse off with a warnin'.
(Bangs gavel)
1393
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:05,808
Case dismissed.
1394
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:07,768
Bailiff, give 'em all a beer
on the way out.
1395
01:15:07,760 --> 01:15:09,205
Oh, yeah, bro!
1396
01:15:09,200 --> 01:15:12,409
So it's cool to sprinkle me mum's ashes
on the Rock, eh?
1397
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:14,767
Don't push your luck, darlin'.
1398
01:15:16,440 --> 01:15:20,001
(All cheer)
1399
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:21,445
SHAZZA: Freedom!
1400
01:15:21,440 --> 01:15:23,602
BAZZA: Oh, it was a close call,
that's for sure.
1401
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:27,569
ABBOTT: Bloody outrageous!
1402
01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:32,401
So Shazza
got her mum's ashes back.
1403
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:34,243
Oh, and how lucky's this?
1404
01:15:34,240 --> 01:15:38,404
They got the camper back, too,
without the coppers even searchin' it.
1405
01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:47,683
There's Franky, bro.
1406
01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:49,284
Oh-ho!
1407
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:52,409
KEV: (Beeps horn) Franky, bro!
1408
01:16:01,440 --> 01:16:03,761
What the fuck's with the gear, Franky?
1409
01:16:03,760 --> 01:16:05,250
What have you been up to, eh?
1410
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:07,846
What happened to ya?
You've been gone ages, mate.
1411
01:16:07,840 --> 01:16:09,604
Listen, I've gone through some shit.
1412
01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:11,648
And I do not want to talk about it,
please.
1413
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:14,484
- You rob a Cash Converters, matey?
- I said don't ask!
1414
01:16:14,480 --> 01:16:17,086
Bro, you tryin' to start up
the Anzacs again, eh?
1415
01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:19,651
Why are you wearin' a seaweed salad
on your head, mate?
1416
01:16:19,640 --> 01:16:22,803
- You got hair like Nessa, eh?
- 'Eh, eh.' Fuckin' funny.
1417
01:16:22,800 --> 01:16:26,202
Oh, bro, Call of Duty called - they want
all their shit back. (Chuckles)
1418
01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:29,522
Yeah, New Zealand called, man -
they want their sheep back.
1419
01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:31,761
Without skidmarks on the arse.
1420
01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:34,206
FRANKY: Could we just
piss off now, please?
1421
01:16:50,760 --> 01:16:54,401
Angry, just got off the phone
to the Alice chapter.
1422
01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:56,767
The stuffs arrived, mate.
1423
01:16:56,760 --> 01:16:59,969
Well... thank fuck for that.
1424
01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:04,966
Make a note -
we don't use fuckin' housos again.
1425
01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:08,566
What's the go with Franky, mate?
1426
01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:17,327
Franky! Don't you wanna dump that
and get in here?
1427
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:21,041
Dazza, mate,
just, like, give me my space, bro.
1428
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:23,202
What the fuck happened
out in the bush, mate?
1429
01:17:23,200 --> 01:17:26,841
I'm dealing with some issues.
Just fuck off.
1430
01:17:31,160 --> 01:17:33,288
What the fuck's up Franky's arse?
1431
01:17:33,280 --> 01:17:37,080
Oi, Daz.
Come sit down here with me, bub.
1432
01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:39,208
You know something, babe?
1433
01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:43,330
Even after all this shit
we went through, it all turned out OK.
1434
01:17:43,320 --> 01:17:45,891
Mum'll just have to
come live with us now.
1435
01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:47,723
You're so good, Shaz.
1436
01:17:47,720 --> 01:17:50,849
I really love you,
even when you're being a bitch.
1437
01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:53,081
I fuckin' love you too, Dazza.
1438
01:18:14,280 --> 01:18:18,171
Now, when they got back home,
everything sort of went back to normal.
1439
01:18:18,160 --> 01:18:20,322
Well, for a little while.
1440
01:18:21,400 --> 01:18:24,688
Kevin, I saw you staring
at the chick's arse on the TV!
1441
01:18:24,680 --> 01:18:26,205
Arghhh!
1442
01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:27,929
Oh, you bitch!
1443
01:18:27,920 --> 01:18:29,809
(Moaning, groaning)
1444
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:32,326
(All moan and scream)
1445
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:36,325
(All bark)
1446
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:40,690
Where's the kids?
1447
01:18:40,680 --> 01:18:43,206
I dunno.
They're round here somewhere.
1448
01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:45,726
I can't hear the television!
1449
01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:48,644
God, it was bloody better
when you'd all pissed off!
1450
01:18:58,240 --> 01:19:00,925
What the fuck are you doin' in there?
Get out.
1451
01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:04,083
I found one, Shaz.
But no booze or smokes.
1452
01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:06,401
You know that cupboard's for potatoes.
1453
01:19:06,400 --> 01:19:09,449
Get outta there
before you hurt yourself, idiot!
1454
01:19:09,440 --> 01:19:12,523
Tonight on A Current Affairs,
the Minister for National Monuments
1455
01:19:12,520 --> 01:19:14,204
talks to us exclusively.
1456
01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:16,123
Minister, good evening.
1457
01:19:16,120 --> 01:19:17,610
Hello, John.
1458
01:19:17,600 --> 01:19:19,602
Oh, not this fuckin' cockface!
1459
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:21,682
Today you've announced
a Federal crackdown
1460
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:24,047
on people
who disgrace national monuments.
1461
01:19:24,040 --> 01:19:25,929
Would you care to elaborate?
1462
01:19:25,920 --> 01:19:28,400
ABBOTT: Yes. As we saw recently,
there has been a wave
1463
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:32,166
of what I would call anti-Australian
behaviour in the community.
1464
01:19:32,160 --> 01:19:36,006
Myself and the Prime Minister
agree it has to be stopped.
1465
01:19:36,000 --> 01:19:37,525
Shit, eh?
1466
01:19:39,120 --> 01:19:42,124
Hey, Shazza! There's a million cops
out on the street!
1467
01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:44,441
Some stupid mongrel's
about to get caned!
1468
01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:47,444
♪ HIP-HOP
1469
01:19:49,720 --> 01:19:52,564
PRESENTER: So what's
the government's response, Minister?
1470
01:19:52,560 --> 01:19:54,927
I've decided to use new Federal laws
1471
01:19:54,920 --> 01:20:00,165
to rearrest the maggots who showed
total disrespect to Uluru last week.
1472
01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:04,962
And I believe this is happening
as we speak.
1473
01:20:04,960 --> 01:20:09,284
Yes. These scum-bums
have to pay for their hideous crimes.
1474
01:20:09,280 --> 01:20:11,681
Especially the graffiti.
1475
01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:13,170
(Women squeal)
1476
01:20:13,160 --> 01:20:15,288
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
I can hear cops.
1477
01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:29,011
(Yelling, commotion)
1478
01:20:37,560 --> 01:20:38,766
Where's the sidecar?
1479
01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:45,561
Well, Tank... not a bad little machine.
1480
01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:48,484
Yeah, what goes around
comes around, mate.
1481
01:20:48,480 --> 01:20:51,927
♪ HEAVY METAL
1482
01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:10,008
They've just charged me with graffiti.
1483
01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:12,571
How did they even know I was there?
Who's dogged me, man?
1484
01:21:12,560 --> 01:21:14,210
Was it one of youse?
1485
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:17,010
Franky, you can be such a tool.
1486
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:19,526
Your ex-girlfriend Cheree dobbed you in.
1487
01:21:19,520 --> 01:21:21,568
She saw your graffiti on the TV.
1488
01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:25,167
Crime Stoppers?
Yep, I want to dob in Franky Falzoni.
1489
01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:27,128
Yeah, I saw some shit on TV.
1490
01:21:27,120 --> 01:21:29,487
He's me ex-de facto
and, definitely, he done it.
1491
01:21:29,480 --> 01:21:32,006
Well, let that be a lesson
to all of youse.
1492
01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:35,527
Pay your child support to ya missus,
no matter how many kids ya got.
1493
01:21:35,520 --> 01:21:39,081
I pay it to my missus,
and I haven't even got kids.
1494
01:21:41,480 --> 01:21:43,608
- Senator.
- Prime Minister.
1495
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:48,003
I saw the interview on A Current Affair.
Great work.
1496
01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:51,561
Our approval rating
is up five points today.
1497
01:21:51,560 --> 01:21:53,050
Thank you.
1498
01:21:53,040 --> 01:21:57,807
Hopefully, we can discourage bogans from
defacing our great national monuments.
1499
01:21:57,800 --> 01:22:02,966
Any popular policy
is a policy I fully support.
1500
01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:04,564
Good-o.
1501
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:07,245
BAZZA: Now, having the coppers after you
is one thing.
1502
01:22:07,240 --> 01:22:09,891
But having the whole
bloody Federal Government after you
1503
01:22:09,880 --> 01:22:11,609
is a different thing altogether.
1504
01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:13,728
You know you're up the creek
without a paddle.
1505
01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:16,564
Look, youse are all shittin' your pants
for nothin', I swear.
1506
01:22:16,560 --> 01:22:19,131
I've, like, fully 'organasised'
all the legal shit.
1507
01:22:19,120 --> 01:22:22,203
Yeah, well why don't you tell us
what the big fuckin' plan is, then?
1508
01:22:22,200 --> 01:22:24,931
If I tell ya, it's gonna jinx
the whole thing, alright?
1509
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:29,289
So just, like, trust me.
We got a mad legal defence coming.
1510
01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:43,123
Sorry I'm late.
I was outside havin' a smoke.
1511
01:22:43,120 --> 01:22:47,250
Do you realise how far I have to walk
because you can't smoke in here?
1512
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:49,368
It's a fuckin' mission, mate.
1513
01:22:49,360 --> 01:22:51,124
Franky, ya gotta be fuckin' kidding.
1514
01:22:51,120 --> 01:22:53,805
This fuckin' tic-tac
better not be our lawyer.
1515
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:58,249
Oi! Ya wanna be a smart-arse,
I'll go home right now, ya slut!
1516
01:22:58,240 --> 01:23:00,527
Chillax, chillax, will youse?
1517
01:23:00,520 --> 01:23:01,806
Pause.
1518
01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:03,882
(Whispers) Just trust me, alright?
Trust me.
1519
01:23:03,880 --> 01:23:06,281
What are you thinkin', Franky,
with this Tiny Teddy?
1520
01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:07,930
He's not even a lawyer, mate.
1521
01:23:07,920 --> 01:23:11,720
Hey, he's small size.
That means we're gonna get mad sympathy.
1522
01:23:11,720 --> 01:23:13,643
Them judges are all political correct.
1523
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:16,246
He's not gonna go against the disabled -
a real one.
1524
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:17,844
What are you lookin' at?
1525
01:23:17,840 --> 01:23:20,525
It's an acquittal for sure, mate.
1526
01:23:20,520 --> 01:23:23,967
Alright, alright.
Let's begin proceedings.
1527
01:23:23,960 --> 01:23:25,724
I should like to start...
1528
01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:28,883
What-what are you doing?
1529
01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:31,247
What, no smoking?
1530
01:23:31,240 --> 01:23:34,528
And now you're gonna tell me
I can't drink?
1531
01:23:34,520 --> 01:23:36,921
What else are you gonna
fuckin' throw at me?
1532
01:23:36,920 --> 01:23:38,684
You are not allowed to...
1533
01:23:38,680 --> 01:23:40,967
Don't you fuckin' talk down to me, mate.
1534
01:23:40,960 --> 01:23:42,689
I shall hold you in contempt.
1535
01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:45,570
Do you know who I am?!
My brother's a bikie!
1536
01:23:45,560 --> 01:23:49,246
We'll find you
and we'll rip your head off, ya muppet.
1537
01:23:49,240 --> 01:23:53,768
Ya dirty fuckin' maggots!
Get ya fuckin' hands off me!
1538
01:23:53,760 --> 01:23:57,765
Get off me! Put me down!
Do you even know who the fuck I am?
1539
01:23:58,920 --> 01:24:01,127
Would the accused take off his hat?
1540
01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:03,043
Hey, I know the rules, mate.
1541
01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:06,044
Your CCTV can see my face,
so I don't need to take my hat off.
1542
01:24:06,040 --> 01:24:07,849
It's just like in a nightclub.
1543
01:24:07,840 --> 01:24:09,808
I told you to take off your hat.
1544
01:24:10,800 --> 01:24:15,931
Hey, how come he has to take off
his hat and you get to wear your wig?
1545
01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:17,410
That's a mad point, mate.
1546
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:19,448
Don't you try and touch that hat,
dickheads.
1547
01:24:19,440 --> 01:24:21,886
(Chortles)
1548
01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:26,010
(Shouting, commotion)
1549
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:28,287
- Simon.
- Senator.
1550
01:24:28,280 --> 01:24:31,682
Good work using the ASIO CCTV.
1551
01:24:31,680 --> 01:24:33,284
This is gold.
1552
01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:35,567
SIMON: My God.
1553
01:24:35,560 --> 01:24:37,449
Can you believe that people like this
1554
01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:39,807
actually share the same air
that we breathe?
1555
01:24:41,880 --> 01:24:45,566
Excuse me, bro.
Um, I'm feeling a little nervous. Um...
1556
01:24:45,560 --> 01:24:48,370
(Farts)
1557
01:24:48,360 --> 01:24:50,010
You, sir, are disgusting.
1558
01:24:50,000 --> 01:24:53,766
(All exclaim in disgust)
1559
01:24:53,760 --> 01:24:55,091
Oh!
1560
01:24:55,080 --> 01:24:57,447
There's a bit of Rotorua in that one!
(Chuckles)
1561
01:24:57,440 --> 01:25:01,968
Hey, Judge! You want me
to rip one from my awesome arse?
1562
01:25:01,960 --> 01:25:03,564
No, please, put that away.
1563
01:25:03,560 --> 01:25:06,131
Fuckin' shut up about your arse. Fuck!
1564
01:25:06,120 --> 01:25:07,610
I'll catch it.
1565
01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:10,524
That, sir, is disgusting.
1566
01:25:10,520 --> 01:25:12,170
Have him out. Out! Out!
1567
01:25:15,320 --> 01:25:18,051
Well, that was a bit rude
throwing me out like that.
1568
01:25:18,040 --> 01:25:21,249
We let them go all the time
in New Zealand courts. (Chuckles)
1569
01:25:21,240 --> 01:25:26,565
Hey, do youse reckon if I sip on
this dwarf juice, I'm gonna grow small?
1570
01:25:26,560 --> 01:25:28,403
(All laugh)
1571
01:25:29,960 --> 01:25:33,931
Now, you all might find yourselves
very amusing,
1572
01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:38,687
but you are facing
very serious Federal charges.
1573
01:25:40,120 --> 01:25:42,930
Illegal drug use,
1574
01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:45,446
illegal sexual activity
1575
01:25:45,440 --> 01:25:49,206
and defacing a national monument.
1576
01:25:49,200 --> 01:25:52,488
Matey, I'd like to sub myself in
as lawyer, please.
1577
01:25:52,480 --> 01:25:55,051
Refer to me as 'Your Honour'.
1578
01:25:55,040 --> 01:25:57,281
Refer to me
as 'Dazza with a big donger'.
1579
01:26:01,040 --> 01:26:02,963
Oh, don't be so rough!
1580
01:26:02,960 --> 01:26:07,090
It's what Ned Kelly would have done,
and he's a national sacred object!
1581
01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:08,650
Go, Ned Kelly!
1582
01:26:08,640 --> 01:26:10,927
Alright. Enough is enough.
1583
01:26:10,920 --> 01:26:16,723
I think it's time now that we brought in
some proper legal aid for you all.
1584
01:26:16,720 --> 01:26:18,210
Oh, fuck that!
1585
01:26:18,200 --> 01:26:20,646
The last legal aid I used
gave me a rash.
1586
01:26:20,640 --> 01:26:23,086
That was a marital aid, ya dickhead.
1587
01:26:23,080 --> 01:26:25,651
- What?
- Fuckin' chatty dildo.
1588
01:26:25,640 --> 01:26:26,687
Der.
1589
01:26:28,040 --> 01:26:29,849
Ohh...
1590
01:26:32,240 --> 01:26:33,810
Take her out too.
1591
01:26:33,800 --> 01:26:37,009
Oh, ya fuckin' dirty dog!
1592
01:26:37,000 --> 01:26:39,082
Fuckin' dog!
1593
01:26:39,080 --> 01:26:41,367
(Farts)
MEN: Ohh!
1594
01:26:41,360 --> 01:26:43,567
Oh, that's fuckin' chatty, Kevin!
1595
01:26:43,560 --> 01:26:46,131
Fuckin' chair vibrated. (Chuckles)
1596
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:48,282
Wish I had Ned Kelly's helmet.
1597
01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:51,483
I wanna defend meself.
1598
01:26:51,480 --> 01:26:54,450
And me the same as her,
1599
01:26:54,440 --> 01:26:58,570
to sub myself in
as the lawyer for me on my own, to talk.
1600
01:26:58,560 --> 01:27:03,487
If you don't remove your hat,
I shall have it removed by force.
1601
01:27:03,480 --> 01:27:06,370
You could try, mate. But, look,
let's move on from that, mate.
1602
01:27:06,360 --> 01:27:07,930
What am I here for?
1603
01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:10,924
I'm in possession of my charges
that I'm here to defend myself on,
1604
01:27:10,920 --> 01:27:13,321
so let's just get to that bit
where I get into the thing
1605
01:27:13,320 --> 01:27:16,005
that's gonna, like,
just get me off the hook and that and...
1606
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:18,128
- Oh, you sneaky prick!
(Laughter)
1607
01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:21,442
I've just had
a bloody corker of an idea.
1608
01:27:21,440 --> 01:27:24,205
Let's leak this footage
to A Current Affair.
1609
01:27:24,200 --> 01:27:26,407
When the public see
these dirtbags in court,
1610
01:27:26,400 --> 01:27:29,768
I'm sure we'll rack up
a couple more approval points, hey?
1611
01:27:29,760 --> 01:27:31,285
That is perfect.
1612
01:27:31,280 --> 01:27:34,170
Look, I'll just organise it
with the press secretary right now.
1613
01:27:34,160 --> 01:27:36,527
Hey! Look, Judge, mate,
1614
01:27:36,520 --> 01:27:39,729
how about you let me have my say -
my say -
1615
01:27:39,720 --> 01:27:42,200
then if I can't prove
that I'm fully innocent,
1616
01:27:42,200 --> 01:27:43,964
I'll take off whatever you want, mate.
1617
01:27:43,960 --> 01:27:45,644
Hat, G-string, anything.
1618
01:27:45,640 --> 01:27:48,120
Yeah? Yeah, go.
1619
01:27:48,120 --> 01:27:50,043
You could use a hat, bro.
1620
01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:51,724
OK, your judgeness,
1621
01:27:51,720 --> 01:27:55,202
right now, I'm just gonna
skip on to a story I need to tell ya,
1622
01:27:55,200 --> 01:27:57,328
and this is gonna
get us off completely.
1623
01:27:57,320 --> 01:28:00,529
I'm warning you,
I'm starting to lose my patience.
1624
01:28:00,520 --> 01:28:02,761
Just hold on a minute, will ya,
and let me talk
1625
01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:04,967
'cause this bit's, like, full personal.
1626
01:28:04,960 --> 01:28:08,328
Like, what happened
was they got busted by security,
1627
01:28:08,320 --> 01:28:11,802
and I was, like, wandering, like, alone
like an idiot in the bush,
1628
01:28:11,800 --> 01:28:14,246
and these black guys,
like, I found them.
1629
01:28:15,240 --> 01:28:16,969
You know what they told me?
1630
01:28:16,960 --> 01:28:19,440
That, like, it's their rock,
they own it.
1631
01:28:19,440 --> 01:28:22,603
But, hey, who's rippin' 'em off?
Who's stoogin' 'em, mate?
1632
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:23,886
The Government, mate.
1633
01:28:23,880 --> 01:28:27,726
The money that the Government's pinchin'
off them on the door fee to get in,
1634
01:28:27,720 --> 01:28:30,200
it doesn't even go to them, mate,
it goes to who knows.
1635
01:28:30,200 --> 01:28:31,804
That's a big rip-off, man.
1636
01:28:31,800 --> 01:28:33,802
Probably your wig tailor.
1637
01:28:33,800 --> 01:28:36,770
I've never owned a house.
I've only been in public housing.
1638
01:28:36,760 --> 01:28:39,206
But I think
that's a real fuckin' shit go, mate.
1639
01:28:40,640 --> 01:28:42,881
And then I've gone
for a piss in the bush.
1640
01:28:42,880 --> 01:28:44,723
And, like,
I got kinda lost at that point
1641
01:28:44,720 --> 01:28:47,564
'cause it was all dark and I'm wearin'
sunnies most of the time.
1642
01:28:47,560 --> 01:28:50,245
It's a bit stupid, I know,
but that's just how I roll.
1643
01:28:51,400 --> 01:28:55,849
In the middle of nowhere, man,
there was this army base.
1644
01:28:55,840 --> 01:28:57,968
So t thought t could
just, like, get in there
1645
01:28:57,960 --> 01:29:00,964
and just ask 'em
to bludge a lift back to somewhere.
1646
01:29:00,960 --> 01:29:02,962
Um, any chance
I could get a lift back to...?
1647
01:29:02,960 --> 01:29:04,883
No, no, no, no! Take it easy!
1648
01:29:04,880 --> 01:29:06,450
And how's this, mate?
1649
01:29:06,440 --> 01:29:09,250
American soldiers
busted me in this place.
1650
01:29:09,240 --> 01:29:12,926
They told me
that the base was American land.
1651
01:29:12,920 --> 01:29:14,843
I don't care what youse got to say.
1652
01:29:14,840 --> 01:29:17,969
This is Australia, man.
It's not American soil.
1653
01:29:17,960 --> 01:29:22,284
If ya keep on bullshitting me,
I'm gonna lose it, mate! I'll thong ya.
1654
01:29:23,360 --> 01:29:24,850
Can ya believe this?
1655
01:29:24,840 --> 01:29:27,764
You know, on the one foot,
they charge you, like, an arm and a leg
1656
01:29:27,760 --> 01:29:29,410
to go in to see a rock,
1657
01:29:29,400 --> 01:29:31,402
and on the other foot, the Government,
1658
01:29:31,400 --> 01:29:34,051
they're givin' away, like,
our land from this country
1659
01:29:34,040 --> 01:29:36,168
to other countries for free!
1660
01:29:36,160 --> 01:29:38,766
You know, when I found out about this,
I went off the hook.
1661
01:29:41,240 --> 01:29:43,561
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!
1662
01:29:43,560 --> 01:29:45,324
Oi, oi, oi!
1663
01:29:45,320 --> 01:29:49,006
♪ PUNK ROCK
1664
01:29:52,400 --> 01:29:53,970
(Gunfire)
1665
01:29:53,960 --> 01:29:56,201
- I'm not scared of bullets, you poofs!
(Gunfire)
1666
01:29:56,200 --> 01:29:59,488
I come from a housing commission!
I'm not scared of STls!
1667
01:30:04,440 --> 01:30:07,489
(Engine stops)
1668
01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:11,121
(Silence)
1669
01:30:11,120 --> 01:30:12,690
What's going on?
1670
01:30:12,680 --> 01:30:15,206
And I know this bit's
gonna sound like bullshit,
1671
01:30:15,200 --> 01:30:18,921
but I swear on all the de facto kids
that I lost to DOCS, it's true.
1672
01:30:25,960 --> 01:30:27,883
Oh, no!
1673
01:30:27,880 --> 01:30:29,962
“Mm!
1674
01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:32,361
om (Exclaims)
1675
01:30:43,080 --> 01:30:46,527
(Screams)
1676
01:30:46,520 --> 01:30:50,445
They done, like, you know,
a few, like, sick probes on me and that.
1677
01:30:50,440 --> 01:30:53,011
'Cause you wear
them fucking girlie shorts all the time.
1678
01:30:53,000 --> 01:30:54,968
What the fuck
is wrong with these shorts?
1679
01:30:55,960 --> 01:30:57,769
(Farting)
1680
01:30:57,760 --> 01:30:59,967
Arrgh! (Grunts)
1681
01:30:59,960 --> 01:31:02,804
Ahh, my arse!
1682
01:31:02,800 --> 01:31:05,644
Fuckin' paranormal activity
up my arse, mate.
1683
01:31:05,640 --> 01:31:07,210
Argh!
1684
01:31:14,840 --> 01:31:16,922
Oh...
1685
01:31:16,920 --> 01:31:20,641
Fuck, Franky, what fuckin' drugs
were you and them Abos smokin'?
1686
01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:24,042
That's full racist
and, look, hey, if there was some drugs
1687
01:31:24,040 --> 01:31:26,725
that might have been taken
at that thing, that's alleged.
1688
01:31:26,720 --> 01:31:28,563
- Mm...
- You know? It's not bullshit.
1689
01:31:28,560 --> 01:31:33,407
I mean, 'cause I've got that motorbike
and I got a pain on the arse.
1690
01:31:33,400 --> 01:31:35,607
(Screams)
1691
01:31:35,600 --> 01:31:37,602
I don't wanna know
about your fuckin' arse.
1692
01:31:37,600 --> 01:31:40,922
(Bangs gavel)
And how is any of this relevant?
1693
01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:44,242
That shit should not happen
to an Australian citizen, mate,
1694
01:31:44,240 --> 01:31:48,370
especially a disabled pensioner
like me, as classed by Centrelink.
1695
01:31:48,360 --> 01:31:50,840
I think you should
just go for acquittal now.
1696
01:31:50,840 --> 01:31:53,411
You could even, like, erase
a couple of fines for me, too.
1697
01:31:53,400 --> 01:31:54,925
That'd be mad.
1698
01:31:54,920 --> 01:31:56,763
All very interesting.
1699
01:31:57,800 --> 01:32:00,371
And now will you take your hat off?
1700
01:32:00,360 --> 01:32:04,410
After that whole story,
he's still on about the fuckin' hat.
1701
01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:06,641
You know what? Cop a thong, dickhead!
1702
01:32:06,640 --> 01:32:10,087
Why couldn't ya just leave it?! Fuck!
1703
01:32:10,080 --> 01:32:13,402
(Laughter)
- Shh, shh, shh.
1704
01:32:14,760 --> 01:32:18,765
Hi. Is that the head editor
of A Current Affair?
1705
01:32:18,760 --> 01:32:20,524
How would you like footage
1706
01:32:20,520 --> 01:32:23,967
of a bogan throwing a thong
at a Supreme Court judge?
1707
01:32:28,320 --> 01:32:30,846
I'm surprised you lasted so long,
Franky.
1708
01:32:30,840 --> 01:32:32,444
Thong the judge, did ya?
1709
01:32:32,440 --> 01:32:35,728
I missed his stupid wig
by, like, only a bee's dick.
1710
01:32:37,640 --> 01:32:40,564
Can I talk
now them other dickheads are gone?
1711
01:32:44,760 --> 01:32:47,411
Are we guilty of breakin' in?
1712
01:32:47,400 --> 01:32:51,610
Yes. Why?
Well, 'cause we got no money, mate.
1713
01:32:51,600 --> 01:32:55,127
We got no money for fancy suits
and nice places to live.
1714
01:32:55,120 --> 01:32:57,805
I can't send my kids to a good school.
1715
01:32:57,800 --> 01:33:01,247
I can't even bury my parents
in a nice place.
1716
01:33:01,240 --> 01:33:05,643
And, yeah,
we might get smashed and do stupid shit,
1717
01:33:05,640 --> 01:33:09,406
and, well, you can make your laws
to stop us havin' fun,
1718
01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:13,166
but we're true-blue Aussies, mate,
and we ain't backin' down to anyone.
1719
01:33:13,160 --> 01:33:16,323
ALL: Go, Shazza!
1720
01:33:16,320 --> 01:33:18,926
(All chant) Shazza! Shazza! Shazza!
1721
01:33:18,920 --> 01:33:23,960
We're like all the good Aussie heroes -
like the Anzacs in World War ll
1722
01:33:23,960 --> 01:33:27,248
and... and Phar Lap and fuckin' Brockie.
1723
01:33:27,240 --> 01:33:29,811
(All chant) Shazza! Shazza! Shazza!
1724
01:33:29,800 --> 01:33:32,246
Anzacs in World War ll?
1725
01:33:32,240 --> 01:33:34,607
(Chortles) What a faux pas!
1726
01:33:34,600 --> 01:33:38,650
This is why I send my kids
to private schools.
1727
01:33:38,640 --> 01:33:41,325
Sunnyvale for life, mother-fuckers!
1728
01:33:41,320 --> 01:33:43,163
- Yeahhh!
- Fuckin' Sunnyvale!
1729
01:33:43,160 --> 01:33:48,849
So as a real representative of all
true-blue Aussies livin' in Australia,
1730
01:33:48,840 --> 01:33:51,889
I got a message to give to you
and your government.
1731
01:33:51,880 --> 01:33:54,281
(sighs) Mm.
1732
01:33:54,280 --> 01:34:00,526
Go get fucked, you small-dicked
knob-jockey fuckwit wanker!
1733
01:34:01,720 --> 01:34:03,609
I rest my case.
1734
01:34:03,600 --> 01:34:05,523
♪ Waltzing Matilda
1735
01:34:06,520 --> 01:34:11,208
I think I went a bit far
calling the judge a fuckin' wanker, eh?
1736
01:34:11,200 --> 01:34:13,487
Ned Kelly'd be proud.
1737
01:34:13,480 --> 01:34:15,164
Yeah, fuckin' oath.
1738
01:34:16,680 --> 01:34:19,001
BAZZA: Well, the judge gave them all
ten years each
1739
01:34:19,000 --> 01:34:21,606
under the new national monument laws.
1740
01:34:21,600 --> 01:34:23,887
Pretty steep if you ask me.
1741
01:34:23,880 --> 01:34:26,087
And if you bet on
any of this coming good,
1742
01:34:26,080 --> 01:34:28,367
I tell ya,
it'd be a long shot for sure, mate.
1743
01:34:28,360 --> 01:34:30,727
Yeah, the housos looked truly rooted.
1744
01:34:30,720 --> 01:34:32,882
But it's funny how things turned out.
1745
01:34:32,880 --> 01:34:37,408
That night, A Current Affairs did play
the footage that the Senator leaked out.
1746
01:34:37,400 --> 01:34:40,802
Tonight on A Current Affairs,
the government department
1747
01:34:40,800 --> 01:34:42,848
that jailed these poor Aussie battlers
1748
01:34:42,840 --> 01:34:47,243
for trying to visit
our nation's national symbol, Uluru.
1749
01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:50,403
What?! That's not the story
we told them to show!
1750
01:34:50,400 --> 01:34:52,607
It seems that even tabloid TV
1751
01:34:52,600 --> 01:34:55,080
doesn't like the Government
tellin' them what to do.
1752
01:34:55,080 --> 01:35:00,246
So, Beryl, the Federal Police
have arrested your son and his de facto
1753
01:35:00,240 --> 01:35:01,969
for what exactly?
1754
01:35:01,960 --> 01:35:06,010
They were just trying to sprinkle
Sharon's mum's ashes at Ayers Rock.
1755
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:07,490
What's wrong with that?
1756
01:35:07,480 --> 01:35:12,247
If you ask me, there's just too many
stupid bloody laws in this country.
1757
01:35:12,240 --> 01:35:15,801
Now, oh, it's almost
like a bushfire around Australia -
1758
01:35:15,800 --> 01:35:19,088
thousands of people were outraged
at the treatment of poor Shazza,
1759
01:35:19,080 --> 01:35:20,684
you know, and the others.
1760
01:35:20,680 --> 01:35:23,331
They rang the TV stations,
they got on Facebook,
1761
01:35:23,320 --> 01:35:25,561
they even emailed the Prime Minister.
1762
01:35:25,560 --> 01:35:30,122
Senator,
what the bloody hell did you do?
1763
01:35:30,120 --> 01:35:36,127
Our polls have dropped 85%
and I've received over 60,000 emails.
1764
01:35:36,120 --> 01:35:37,849
This is a disaster.
1765
01:35:37,840 --> 01:35:39,604
Prime Minister, can I just say...
1766
01:35:39,600 --> 01:35:42,001
No. Do not say another word.
1767
01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:44,765
Get Shazza Jones and her mates
out of jail
1768
01:35:44,760 --> 01:35:48,890
and make all of this drama go away.
1769
01:35:48,880 --> 01:35:51,565
Or I'm giving your seat
to Peter Garrett.
1770
01:35:51,560 --> 01:35:54,450
BAZZA: Oh, you wouldn't read about it.
Or you probably would.
1771
01:35:54,440 --> 01:35:56,363
The sentences were all cancelled,
1772
01:35:56,360 --> 01:35:58,488
DOCS gave all the kids back
1773
01:35:58,480 --> 01:36:02,246
and by the time they got home, there
was a huge block party waiting for 'em.
1774
01:36:09,080 --> 01:36:11,447
(Whooping, shouting)
1775
01:36:11,440 --> 01:36:13,602
I don't think his nappy's been changed.
1776
01:36:16,680 --> 01:36:18,170
(All cheer)
1777
01:36:18,160 --> 01:36:20,083
If this was any other suburb
in Australia,
1778
01:36:20,080 --> 01:36:22,481
this would have been
one of the bestest nights ever.
1779
01:36:22,480 --> 01:36:24,005
But not here.
1780
01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:26,367
♪ I'm on the block, yeah
I'm on the block, yeah
1781
01:36:26,360 --> 01:36:28,840
♪ I'm on the block
and I just won't stop, yeah
1782
01:36:28,840 --> 01:36:31,446
♪ I'm on the block, yeah
I'm on the block, yeah
1783
01:36:31,440 --> 01:36:34,171
♪ I'm on the block
and I just won't stop, yeah
1784
01:36:34,160 --> 01:36:36,606
♪ I'm on the block, yeah
I'm on the block, yeah
1785
01:36:36,600 --> 01:36:39,206
♪ I'm on the block
and I just won't stop, yeah
1786
01:36:39,200 --> 01:36:40,850
♪ I'm on the block... ♪
1787
01:36:40,840 --> 01:36:42,649
(All exclaim)
1788
01:36:42,640 --> 01:36:46,167
Where is the money
for the child of the support?
1789
01:36:46,160 --> 01:36:48,128
Big fuckin' hero on TV,
1790
01:36:48,120 --> 01:36:50,327
and you're too cheap
to pay for your own kid!
1791
01:36:50,320 --> 01:36:53,324
- Arghh!
(Yelling, commotion)
1792
01:36:57,240 --> 01:37:01,564
(Sirens wail)
1793
01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:09,003
What are we fighting each other for?
1794
01:37:09,000 --> 01:37:12,049
- Let's fight the fuckin' pigs!
(All cheer)
1795
01:37:12,040 --> 01:37:16,443
Alright, fellas, don't hold back
on these fuckin' scumbags!
1796
01:37:16,440 --> 01:37:19,569
(Yelling, commotion)
1797
01:37:38,000 --> 01:37:39,604
Well, that's it.
1798
01:37:39,600 --> 01:37:41,762
That's the whole bloody story
in a nutshell.
1799
01:37:41,760 --> 01:37:44,650
I'm goin' in there for a few beers,
couple of bets
1800
01:37:44,640 --> 01:37:47,450
and if I'm lucky,
might even pick up a root.
1801
01:37:47,440 --> 01:37:49,090
I'll pick up a root for sure.
1802
01:37:49,080 --> 01:37:51,526
I can drink a few of the girls
in the bar pretty.
1803
01:37:51,520 --> 01:37:53,807
Text me
next time you're here in Sunnyvale.
1804
01:37:55,160 --> 01:37:57,401
♪ It's all good
1805
01:37:57,400 --> 01:37:59,767
♪ It's very good
1806
01:37:59,760 --> 01:38:01,683
♪ It's all good
1807
01:38:01,680 --> 01:38:04,684
♪ It's all good ♪
MAN: It's very good, yes.
1808
01:38:04,680 --> 01:38:07,081
♪ It's all good
1809
01:38:07,080 --> 01:38:09,128
♪ It's very good
1810
01:38:09,120 --> 01:38:10,610
♪ It's all good
1811
01:38:11,600 --> 01:38:13,090
♪ It's all good
1812
01:38:14,080 --> 01:38:16,367
♪ It's all good... ♪
1813
01:38:27,560 --> 01:38:29,608
I told ya we'd beat 'em, Shaz.
1814
01:38:29,600 --> 01:38:31,204
Yeah, it was pretty grouse
1815
01:38:31,200 --> 01:38:34,010
of that Senator cockface
to let us come up here, eh?
1816
01:38:34,000 --> 01:38:37,686
Oh, it's a long bloody climb
and the view's not even that good.
1817
01:38:37,680 --> 01:38:40,126
I'd rather be at home on the couch
with a bong.
1818
01:38:40,120 --> 01:38:42,009
(Guffaws) You carrying?
1819
01:38:46,600 --> 01:38:48,489
- Is she alright?
- Yeah.
1820
01:38:48,480 --> 01:38:51,404
Alright, Mum. It's time to set you free.
1821
01:38:58,280 --> 01:39:03,571
Mum, goodbye... and I love you.
1822
01:39:06,880 --> 01:39:10,362
(Sniffs) 0h!
1823
01:39:10,360 --> 01:39:15,400
I know she's your mum, Shaz, but,
fuck, she's givin' me mad head spins!
1824
01:39:15,400 --> 01:39:18,244
You really are fucked in the face,
aren't ya?
1825
01:39:27,400 --> 01:39:28,890
So, your reaction
1826
01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:30,848
to her actually getting arrested, then?
1827
01:39:30,840 --> 01:39:33,320
It's racist.
1828
01:39:33,320 --> 01:39:36,449
But you say it's racist,
but then at the same time,
1829
01:39:36,440 --> 01:39:38,488
she seems to have had
no respect
1830
01:39:38,480 --> 01:39:40,403
for the culture of the Aborigines.
1831
01:39:40,400 --> 01:39:41,890
I don't know, man.
1832
01:39:41,880 --> 01:39:44,087
You're hurting my head.
You're hurting my head.
1833
01:39:44,080 --> 01:39:46,481
Who is this bloke? Who is he?
Who does he think he is?
1834
01:39:46,480 --> 01:39:47,970
We are angry
1835
01:39:47,960 --> 01:39:50,930
because in the beginning
we was expect the money
1836
01:39:50,920 --> 01:39:53,161
for the child support,
and I was...
1837
01:39:53,160 --> 01:39:55,208
I was ask for Frankily, like,
1838
01:39:55,200 --> 01:39:58,170
10,000 times for the money,
1839
01:39:58,160 --> 01:40:00,128
'cause of, you know, for the baby.
1840
01:40:00,120 --> 01:40:02,088
'Cause he put the sperm on the stomach
1841
01:40:02,080 --> 01:40:04,845
so he's supposed to give
the money in the bank, huh?
1842
01:40:04,840 --> 01:40:07,571
I'm part of, like, the
Sunnyvale Assassins, alright?
1843
01:40:07,560 --> 01:40:09,050
The Sunnyvale Assassins?
1844
01:40:09,040 --> 01:40:11,520
Yeah, like, it says it right here.
Like Sunnyvale...
1845
01:40:11,520 --> 01:40:14,569
You've spelled it 'arse'.
I'm not sure that you spelled that...
1846
01:40:14,560 --> 01:40:16,608
- What do you mean?
- 'Arsass'...
1847
01:40:16,600 --> 01:40:18,170
'Assassins'...
1848
01:40:18,160 --> 01:40:19,730
Yeah, but it's spelt incorrectly.
1849
01:40:19,720 --> 01:40:21,210
- Is it?
- Yeah.
1850
01:40:21,200 --> 01:40:22,611
Is it?
1851
01:40:22,600 --> 01:40:24,682
I told you, like,
get a spellcheck, idiot.
1852
01:40:24,680 --> 01:40:27,570
Fuck I'm dumb, bro.
What, I'm not educated.
1853
01:40:27,560 --> 01:40:29,767
I'm due for, like,
my three o'clock root.
1854
01:40:29,760 --> 01:40:31,808
Well, I don't know but...
1855
01:40:31,800 --> 01:40:34,724
You know, these tits don't
touch themselves, you know?
1856
01:40:34,720 --> 01:40:37,485
- Um... no, they don't.
- They don't.
1857
01:40:37,480 --> 01:40:39,164
No. I mean...
1858
01:41:53,800 --> 01:41:55,290
(Gunshots)
1859
01:41:55,280 --> 01:41:57,726
♪ 'Cause we're housos, housos, housos
1860
01:41:57,720 --> 01:41:59,848
♪ Housos, housos, housos
1861
01:41:59,840 --> 01:42:02,047
♪ Housos, housos, housos. ♪
1862
01:42:02,040 --> 01:42:05,123
SHAZZA: Neighbours?
Getting to be good friends?
1863
01:42:05,120 --> 01:42:07,282
Yeah, fuckin' come down
to Sunnyvale, mate.
1864
01:42:07,280 --> 01:42:08,770
(Gunshot, sirens wail)