1 00:00:18,902 --> 00:00:24,802 But, see, whenever I flip the switch, the machine flips it back! 2 00:00:26,849 --> 00:00:28,524 You're a funny babysitter. 3 00:00:28,525 --> 00:00:30,164 Thanks. 4 00:00:30,165 --> 00:00:32,804 I think your head has a nice shape. 5 00:00:32,805 --> 00:00:34,154 Thanks! 6 00:00:34,155 --> 00:00:35,873 You wanna try flipping the switch? 7 00:00:35,874 --> 00:00:38,913 I would, but my mom'll get mad if I don't get my homework done. 8 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:42,965 Oh right, I'm supposed to be helping you with your homework. 9 00:00:42,966 --> 00:00:45,002 Here are the instructions from my mom. 10 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,887 Okay, Butler's homework. It says... 11 00:00:47,888 --> 00:00:50,265 "Set TV to mirror phone". 12 00:00:50,266 --> 00:00:52,833 - I'm not sure how to do that... - Already done. Look. 13 00:00:52,834 --> 00:00:56,030 Now you can see my phone screen on your TV. 14 00:00:56,031 --> 00:00:58,731 Wow, tekna-cool. 15 00:00:59,775 --> 00:01:01,823 M'Kay, next it says... 16 00:01:01,824 --> 00:01:05,970 "Start talking and Butler will text whatever words you say". 17 00:01:05,971 --> 00:01:08,140 Look, I already did it. 18 00:01:08,141 --> 00:01:11,977 Whoa! You're a fast little texter. 19 00:01:11,978 --> 00:01:14,183 Ah! You did it again! 20 00:01:14,184 --> 00:01:15,260 Whoa. 21 00:01:15,261 --> 00:01:18,446 It's like you're texting what I say even faster than I can say it. 22 00:01:18,447 --> 00:01:22,618 Oh. Uh. Mississippi! Uh... Abraham Lincoln! 23 00:01:22,619 --> 00:01:24,883 Whoa! Um, um... 24 00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,768 Cornballs! 25 00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:28,210 Oh! 26 00:01:28,211 --> 00:01:30,990 You have magical thumbs! 27 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:34,951 Hey, sorry I'm late. Here he is. 28 00:01:35,425 --> 00:01:37,492 - Who's that? - Butler. 29 00:01:37,493 --> 00:01:40,808 The kid we're babysitting today. I found him in the park. 30 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:43,907 But... this is Butler. 31 00:01:43,908 --> 00:01:45,768 Hey. 32 00:01:45,775 --> 00:01:47,629 Then who are you? 33 00:01:47,630 --> 00:01:49,581 Randy. 34 00:01:49,582 --> 00:01:51,346 Well... 35 00:01:51,347 --> 00:01:54,407 Go back to the park. 36 00:01:59,602 --> 00:02:01,543 So what's up? 37 00:02:01,544 --> 00:02:03,901 You gotta watch this kid do his homework! 38 00:02:03,902 --> 00:02:07,242 That sounds fun but I'd rather jam a fork in my leg. 39 00:02:07,243 --> 00:02:10,358 Now, look, look, lookie! 40 00:02:10,359 --> 00:02:11,336 Huh... 41 00:02:11,337 --> 00:02:13,747 You're pretty fast with your thumbs, kid. 42 00:02:13,748 --> 00:02:16,447 Yeah, but why does your school give you texting homework? 43 00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:20,743 This isn't for school. I'm competing in a texting competition on Saturday. 44 00:02:20,744 --> 00:02:23,183 And my mom wants me to practice a lot. 45 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:24,556 - Ah. - Makes sense. 46 00:02:24,557 --> 00:02:27,504 Hey, ya wanna know a little trick that'll help ya text even faster? 47 00:02:27,505 --> 00:02:28,824 Sure. 48 00:02:28,825 --> 00:02:32,608 Here, I call this the thumb roll maneuver. 49 00:02:32,609 --> 00:02:34,004 What do you mean? 50 00:02:34,005 --> 00:02:36,507 See, like if you're texting the word wazz... 51 00:02:36,508 --> 00:02:40,404 Ya roll your thumb from the w to the a to the z. 52 00:02:40,405 --> 00:02:43,760 - How'd you figure that out? - I got a lot of free time. 53 00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:46,852 And she's always texting me about wazzing. 54 00:02:46,853 --> 00:02:50,393 Sometimes while I'm wazzing. 55 00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,636 ♪ I'm never that far. 56 00:02:53,637 --> 00:02:56,103 ♪ No matter where you are. 57 00:02:56,104 --> 00:02:59,422 ♪ Believe it, we can make it come true. 58 00:02:59,423 --> 00:03:03,565 ♪ We'll do it our way, no matter what they say. 59 00:03:03,566 --> 00:03:06,273 ♪ Because no one's gonna do it for you. 60 00:03:06,274 --> 00:03:07,880 ♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah! 61 00:03:07,881 --> 00:03:10,719 ♪ But I, I, I, I... 62 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,397 ♪ I'll never say, never. 63 00:03:13,398 --> 00:03:17,538 ♪ As long as we keep it together. 64 00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:19,133 ♪ Oh! 65 00:03:19,134 --> 00:03:22,974 ♪ If you're living a dream, and you know what it means. 66 00:03:22,975 --> 00:03:26,731 ♪ Then you can't let them change your mind. 67 00:03:26,732 --> 00:03:30,815 ♪ It's the life that we choose, and we still break the rules. 68 00:03:30,816 --> 00:03:33,786 ♪ But it's all gonna be just fine. 69 00:03:33,787 --> 00:03:34,684 ♪ Just fine. 70 00:03:34,685 --> 00:03:38,642 ♪ Yeah, we're all gonna be just fine. 71 00:03:38,643 --> 00:03:43,203 ♪ You and me we're gonna be just fine. 72 00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:45,360 ♪ Oh. 73 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:51,459 And then the beanstalk grew and grew and grew by the hair of its chinny chin chin. 74 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:54,638 And as Eleanor rigby picked up the rice in the yellow submarine, 75 00:03:54,639 --> 00:04:00,498 their bicycles flew past the moon, and that was the end of the klingons. 76 00:04:00,499 --> 00:04:03,139 - Done. - Done. 77 00:04:03,685 --> 00:04:07,062 Whoa, you both texted every word I said! 78 00:04:07,063 --> 00:04:07,851 Yep. 79 00:04:07,852 --> 00:04:10,369 - You're a really fast texter. - You too, kid. 80 00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:12,793 Hey, you should enter the competition with Butler. 81 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:13,839 Yeah! 82 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,680 Eh, I don't like to do things. 83 00:04:17,807 --> 00:04:20,547 Oh, come on, I'll go with you! It'll be fun. 84 00:04:20,548 --> 00:04:23,290 - Eh... - The winner gets a cool prize. 85 00:04:23,291 --> 00:04:25,650 - What prize? - A speed boat. 86 00:04:25,651 --> 00:04:27,431 - There! That's it. - Ah. 87 00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:32,664 Oh, please enter the competition! It's my dream to have a speed boat! 88 00:04:32,665 --> 00:04:37,269 - Look, I just don't wanna... - I gotta have a speed boat! 89 00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,572 Who's that? 90 00:04:38,573 --> 00:04:41,273 Probably my mom. 91 00:04:41,825 --> 00:04:43,431 Oh, hey Mrs. Torso. 92 00:04:43,432 --> 00:04:46,226 Hello, cat. I'm here to retrieve Butler. 93 00:04:46,227 --> 00:04:49,324 Hey, mom. This is Sam, she's cat's babysitting buddy. 94 00:04:49,325 --> 00:04:51,634 Oh, good to meet you, Sam. 95 00:04:51,635 --> 00:04:53,555 Lady. 96 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:56,449 Did you practice all the texting exercises with Butler? 97 00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:58,130 - Yeah. - Did you? 98 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,402 Yes! 99 00:04:59,403 --> 00:05:02,255 I even massaged his thumbs like you said. 100 00:05:02,256 --> 00:05:04,656 With lotion. 101 00:05:05,325 --> 00:05:06,525 Thank you, cat. 102 00:05:06,526 --> 00:05:11,367 Sometimes Butler doesn't take his texting as seriously as he should. 103 00:05:11,368 --> 00:05:14,834 How seriously should he take his texting? 104 00:05:14,835 --> 00:05:15,968 Very. 105 00:05:15,969 --> 00:05:19,047 You know we've won the extreme speed texting championships, 106 00:05:19,048 --> 00:05:22,038 the last three years in a row. 107 00:05:22,039 --> 00:05:24,575 - Oh, you compete, too? - No. 108 00:05:24,576 --> 00:05:27,794 - You said we've won. - Well, I'm Butler's manager. 109 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:31,351 - I thought you were his mom. - I'm his mom and his manager. 110 00:05:31,352 --> 00:05:33,733 I'm a momager. 111 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,359 - Gross. - Excuse me? 112 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,988 Hi. 113 00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:41,026 - Hey mom, guess what. - Yeah. I don't like guessing. 114 00:05:41,027 --> 00:05:43,962 Sam might enter the speed texting competition too. 115 00:05:43,963 --> 00:05:46,723 Aw, that's cute. 116 00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:50,035 - She might be as fast as me. - Nobody's as fast as you. 117 00:05:50,036 --> 00:05:51,001 - But mom... - No. 118 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,038 Get outside right now and wait on the bike. 119 00:05:53,039 --> 00:05:56,039 - But... - The bike! 120 00:05:59,513 --> 00:06:02,047 Here's the money for babysitting. 121 00:06:02,048 --> 00:06:05,184 Oh, and, Sam, please don't come to the competition. 122 00:06:05,185 --> 00:06:07,394 I don't want you distracting Butler. 123 00:06:07,395 --> 00:06:10,065 Man, you really wanna win that speed boat, don't ya? 124 00:06:10,066 --> 00:06:11,533 I don't care about boats. 125 00:06:11,534 --> 00:06:12,791 Ah. 126 00:06:12,792 --> 00:06:14,293 If you guys don't care about boats... 127 00:06:14,294 --> 00:06:17,095 As winner of the speed texting competition, 128 00:06:17,096 --> 00:06:20,871 Butler and I will also get an invitation to meet the vice president. 129 00:06:20,872 --> 00:06:23,669 Near the white house. 130 00:06:23,670 --> 00:06:25,471 Shouldn't they just invite Butler? 131 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:29,115 No! My life was nothing before Butler became successful! 132 00:06:29,116 --> 00:06:35,016 And now that good things are happening for him, I get to participate in everything! 133 00:06:37,584 --> 00:06:39,952 There's something about that lady I don't like. 134 00:06:39,953 --> 00:06:41,887 Is it that she's the worst person ever? 135 00:06:41,888 --> 00:06:44,228 That's it! 136 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:50,195 There. Now, put your thumbs in your pockets to protect them. 137 00:06:50,196 --> 00:06:52,264 But, why can't I have my own bike? 138 00:06:52,265 --> 00:06:54,967 Because I take you wherever you need to go. 139 00:06:54,968 --> 00:06:59,888 - But I'm almost ten! - I'm in charge of us! 140 00:07:09,716 --> 00:07:11,014 Okay. And then what happened? 141 00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:13,246 His mom told me not to come to this competition! 142 00:07:13,247 --> 00:07:16,756 - And then she told him to get on her bike! - And now, we're just walking in here... 143 00:07:16,757 --> 00:07:19,597 - Telling you everything that's happened... - Up until now. 144 00:07:19,598 --> 00:07:20,874 Got it. I'm all caught up. 145 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,828 - Good. - Great. 146 00:07:22,829 --> 00:07:24,740 No. No no no no no. 147 00:07:24,741 --> 00:07:25,865 What's wrong? 148 00:07:25,866 --> 00:07:30,084 You see that kid over there! The guy eating an egg... 149 00:07:30,085 --> 00:07:32,137 That's b.J. Malloy. 150 00:07:32,138 --> 00:07:34,473 - He a friend of yours? - Not now. 151 00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:37,926 But when I was little, our moms were friends, so I had to play with him. 152 00:07:37,927 --> 00:07:40,747 He's so annoying. 153 00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:45,183 Wow, he's really sucking down that egg. 154 00:07:45,184 --> 00:07:48,754 Yeah, because he loves 'em. All he does is eat eggs. 155 00:07:48,755 --> 00:07:51,208 - Oh, and he's an echoer. - What's an echoer? 156 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,298 It's... 157 00:07:52,299 --> 00:07:54,794 It's hard to explain. Just help me hide from him. 158 00:07:54,795 --> 00:07:56,985 Oh yeah sure, totally no problem. But first... 159 00:07:56,986 --> 00:07:59,926 Hey b.J., egg boy! 160 00:07:59,966 --> 00:08:01,171 Shh! What are you... 161 00:08:01,172 --> 00:08:04,892 Look, it's your old pal dice! 162 00:08:05,405 --> 00:08:06,405 Sam?!? 163 00:08:06,406 --> 00:08:09,826 Sorry. No heart in here... 164 00:08:09,961 --> 00:08:13,261 Just a dark empty space. 165 00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:15,668 Bye. 166 00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:18,189 Hey, diceberg! 167 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,571 Hi, b.J. 168 00:08:21,572 --> 00:08:24,122 I called ya diceberg! 169 00:08:24,123 --> 00:08:26,846 Get it? Rhymes with iceberg. 170 00:08:26,847 --> 00:08:28,851 Yep. It still rhymes... 171 00:08:28,852 --> 00:08:33,781 Just like it did back in second grade when you said it every day. 172 00:08:33,782 --> 00:08:35,809 So what you doing here? 173 00:08:35,810 --> 00:08:38,011 Uh, my friend Sam is gonna enter the competition. 174 00:08:38,012 --> 00:08:40,985 Friend Sam is gonna enter the competition... 175 00:08:40,986 --> 00:08:45,352 - Because she's a really fast texter... - Because she's a really fast texter... 176 00:08:45,353 --> 00:08:48,121 So I'm thinking she might win and take home that speed boat... 177 00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:51,157 And take home that speed boat... 178 00:08:51,158 --> 00:08:53,000 Here. 179 00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,461 Have an egg. 180 00:08:55,663 --> 00:08:57,703 Thanks. 181 00:08:58,199 --> 00:09:00,200 A toast! 182 00:09:00,201 --> 00:09:03,594 To eggs and old friendships. 183 00:09:03,595 --> 00:09:05,575 Clink. 184 00:09:08,163 --> 00:09:10,203 Selfie! 185 00:09:16,484 --> 00:09:18,151 Ah, Butler! 186 00:09:18,152 --> 00:09:19,420 Hey, there he is. 187 00:09:19,421 --> 00:09:21,688 - Hi, cat! - Quiet. 188 00:09:21,689 --> 00:09:25,189 I thought I told you not to come here and distract Butler. 189 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,427 Oh, you did. 190 00:09:26,428 --> 00:09:27,863 Well, then why are you here? 191 00:09:27,864 --> 00:09:31,723 Because we don't care what you say. 192 00:09:31,724 --> 00:09:34,902 She's so disrespectful. 193 00:09:34,903 --> 00:09:38,022 You're not entering the competition, right? 194 00:09:38,023 --> 00:09:39,289 - Right. - Good. 195 00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:40,841 No wait, I am. 196 00:09:40,842 --> 00:09:42,762 What? 197 00:09:43,526 --> 00:09:45,910 She faked you out. 198 00:09:45,911 --> 00:09:49,716 You know we've won this competition for the last three years. 199 00:09:49,717 --> 00:09:51,835 No, Butler won. 200 00:09:51,836 --> 00:09:53,018 That's what I said. 201 00:09:53,019 --> 00:09:55,021 No, you said we've. 202 00:09:55,022 --> 00:09:57,958 I can say we've if I want to say we've. 203 00:09:57,959 --> 00:10:02,395 In school we learned that the ancient Indians used to weave rugs. 204 00:10:02,396 --> 00:10:03,664 What are you, dumb? 205 00:10:03,665 --> 00:10:06,725 Hey! Weave her alone. 206 00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:11,705 She is all up in your business. 207 00:10:11,706 --> 00:10:14,174 Stop laughing! 208 00:10:14,175 --> 00:10:16,643 Look, Mrs. Torso, don't be upset. 209 00:10:16,644 --> 00:10:21,314 If Sam wins the texting competition, you can use our speed boat any time you want. 210 00:10:21,315 --> 00:10:23,650 We don't care about the stupid speed boat! 211 00:10:23,651 --> 00:10:26,219 We want to meet the vice president! 212 00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:27,554 Come on, go. 213 00:10:27,555 --> 00:10:30,557 Vice president of what?! 214 00:10:30,558 --> 00:10:33,393 I think it's the vice president of America. 215 00:10:33,394 --> 00:10:35,589 Oh. Do we know his name? 216 00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:37,297 Nah, we're just high school students. 217 00:10:37,298 --> 00:10:39,278 Right. 218 00:10:48,954 --> 00:10:50,645 - Faster. - Ow! 219 00:10:50,646 --> 00:10:54,306 You're squeezing my clavicles! 220 00:10:54,756 --> 00:10:55,756 Practicing? 221 00:10:55,757 --> 00:10:58,982 Yeah, just loosening up my thumbs. 222 00:10:58,983 --> 00:11:01,814 While you do that, I'll read you this list I made of all the fun things 223 00:11:01,815 --> 00:11:03,384 we can do on our new speed boat. 224 00:11:03,385 --> 00:11:05,900 Yeah, don't do that. 225 00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:07,234 Number one... 226 00:11:07,235 --> 00:11:10,055 Wear boating hats. 227 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,508 Number two... 228 00:11:11,509 --> 00:11:15,049 Make friends with a dolphin. 229 00:11:15,063 --> 00:11:16,391 Number three... 230 00:11:16,392 --> 00:11:20,008 Look for spongebob's pineapple. 231 00:11:20,009 --> 00:11:23,849 Number four... go water sledding. 232 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,340 I hope I remember those. 233 00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:33,120 Dude... you're really close to me. 234 00:11:33,121 --> 00:11:36,241 Wanna bite of my egg? 235 00:11:39,403 --> 00:11:41,062 Thirty-seven point two. 236 00:11:41,063 --> 00:11:43,223 Dang it! 237 00:11:43,839 --> 00:11:46,539 Forty point six. 238 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:52,269 Okay, not bad, but not good enough to make the finals. 239 00:11:53,978 --> 00:11:56,403 Okay, next up we got uh... 240 00:11:56,404 --> 00:11:58,602 Debbie paunch and... 241 00:11:58,603 --> 00:12:01,826 Ah, little Butler torso, last year's champion. 242 00:12:01,827 --> 00:12:03,244 All right, Butler. 243 00:12:03,245 --> 00:12:05,076 Butler torso. 244 00:12:05,077 --> 00:12:08,327 We were champion the last three years. 245 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:12,468 Oh, great, and his mom's back, too. 246 00:12:13,554 --> 00:12:15,475 Texters ready? 247 00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:17,936 I am also... 248 00:12:18,064 --> 00:12:20,044 Ready. 249 00:12:20,895 --> 00:12:21,750 Okay. 250 00:12:21,751 --> 00:12:27,393 Soon as the words appear on the screen behind me, text them as fast as you can. 251 00:12:27,394 --> 00:12:29,711 Come on, Butler! You can do it! 252 00:12:29,712 --> 00:12:31,690 Yeah, buddy! You got this. 253 00:12:31,691 --> 00:12:34,931 Concentrate! Destroy her. 254 00:12:36,147 --> 00:12:39,879 - Man, look how fast that kid can text. - Fast that kid can text. 255 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,799 Okay, you gotta quit repeating everything I say. 256 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,865 Repeating everything I say. 257 00:12:43,866 --> 00:12:46,859 - Will you stop it! - Will I stop it? 258 00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:49,226 - Come on, Butler. - You can do it. 259 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,331 - Come on, Butler. - Oh, hey. Hey. 260 00:12:51,332 --> 00:12:54,734 - Type those words. - Come on, Butler. Go. Yeah. 261 00:12:54,735 --> 00:12:56,864 Nineteen point five seconds! 262 00:12:56,865 --> 00:12:59,925 That's a new record! 263 00:12:59,927 --> 00:13:01,047 Woo! 264 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,806 Yes! We did it! 265 00:13:02,807 --> 00:13:05,682 We did it! We did it! We did it! 266 00:13:05,683 --> 00:13:09,429 Who did it? We did it. Uh-huh, uh-huh! 267 00:13:09,430 --> 00:13:11,911 Okay, I think we're down to our last two people. 268 00:13:11,912 --> 00:13:15,752 Morris kornblum. And Sam Puckett. 269 00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:19,451 - It's puckle! - It's Puckett. 270 00:13:19,452 --> 00:13:21,813 I have it in my contacts as puckle. 271 00:13:21,814 --> 00:13:24,456 - Well, change it. - To what? 272 00:13:24,457 --> 00:13:26,557 Puckett! 273 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,788 I'm leaving it as puckle. 274 00:13:29,789 --> 00:13:35,072 Hey, if she doesn't even know her own name, she should probably be disqualified, right? 275 00:13:35,073 --> 00:13:36,933 Huh? 276 00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:39,451 Disqualify her! 277 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,991 Disqualify her! 278 00:13:40,992 --> 00:13:42,634 - Sit down, lady! - Disqualify her! 279 00:13:42,635 --> 00:13:45,095 Oh, shut up. 280 00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:47,211 Okay. 281 00:13:47,212 --> 00:13:50,456 As soon as the words appear on the screen behind me, text them as fast as you can. 282 00:13:50,457 --> 00:13:51,542 Texters ready? 283 00:13:51,543 --> 00:13:52,795 Let's blow this up. 284 00:13:52,796 --> 00:13:55,376 Aaaaaand... go. 285 00:14:03,032 --> 00:14:05,857 Hey cat, when I'm done here, ya wanna grab some food? 286 00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:08,707 Sure, there's a hot dog place right on the corner. 287 00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:10,591 Mm, they have corn dogs? 288 00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:13,873 Morris, ya like corn dogs? 289 00:14:13,874 --> 00:14:16,865 Please, I'm texting! 290 00:14:16,866 --> 00:14:18,819 Come on Sam, you're killing it! 291 00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:20,305 Keep it up, Sam! 292 00:14:20,306 --> 00:14:24,219 I would keep it up... but I... am... 293 00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:25,818 Done! 294 00:14:25,819 --> 00:14:29,039 Nineteen point two seconds! 295 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,520 Whoa, that's a new record! 296 00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:34,607 Way to go, Sam! 297 00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:36,586 No! Don't praise her! 298 00:14:36,587 --> 00:14:38,016 Yeah, baby. 299 00:14:38,017 --> 00:14:41,168 All right, everyone, settle down please, settle down! 300 00:14:41,169 --> 00:14:44,665 At seven o'clock, we'll hold the finals in this room, where Sam Puckett... 301 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,912 - Puckle! - Puckett! 302 00:14:46,913 --> 00:14:48,713 Will compete against last year's champion... 303 00:14:48,714 --> 00:14:51,474 Last three years! 304 00:14:52,118 --> 00:14:54,578 Butler torso. 305 00:14:55,481 --> 00:14:57,521 Butler. 306 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,081 Wait. 307 00:14:59,082 --> 00:15:01,842 I'm almost done. 308 00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:11,813 We're online in 30 minutes, people. 309 00:15:13,616 --> 00:15:15,776 Diceberg! 310 00:15:18,077 --> 00:15:20,362 Ah, kill me. 311 00:15:20,363 --> 00:15:23,392 Are you excited for the finals? 312 00:15:23,393 --> 00:15:26,904 Yeah. It will be cool to see if Sam can beat Butler and win that speed boat. 313 00:15:26,905 --> 00:15:28,217 So where is Sam? 314 00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:30,338 Oh, she and cat ate a bunch of corn dogs, 315 00:15:30,339 --> 00:15:32,993 so now they're sleeping 'em off somewhere around here. 316 00:15:32,994 --> 00:15:36,135 Well, sure, corn dogs will make ya drowsy. 317 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:39,797 That's why I eat high-protein, energy-packed! 318 00:15:39,798 --> 00:15:42,498 Firm white eggs! 319 00:15:44,739 --> 00:15:47,228 Hey, you wanna know what I heard? 320 00:15:47,229 --> 00:15:48,528 What? 321 00:15:48,529 --> 00:15:52,789 Eating eggs makes you grow butt warts. 322 00:15:53,526 --> 00:15:55,446 Yeah. 323 00:16:07,646 --> 00:16:11,340 The texting finals will begin at 7:00 P.M. 324 00:16:11,341 --> 00:16:15,301 Please be in your seats by 6:45. 325 00:16:48,651 --> 00:16:51,940 Sam Puckett, report to stage, Sam Puckett. 326 00:16:51,941 --> 00:16:54,107 - What time is it now? - Ten after seven. 327 00:16:54,108 --> 00:16:55,427 Hey. 328 00:16:55,428 --> 00:16:58,983 I told all my friends to watch this competition online at seven P.M., 329 00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:00,564 and it's already ten after. 330 00:17:00,565 --> 00:17:02,580 Yeah, I'm aware. 331 00:17:02,581 --> 00:17:05,315 Hey, where's Sam Puckett? 332 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,626 I dunno. Last time I saw her, she and cat were... 333 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:11,107 - I'm here! - We're here! 334 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:12,615 Ah! 335 00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:14,209 Uh, what's going on? 336 00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,815 - She did this to us! - What? 337 00:17:16,816 --> 00:17:19,605 You glued my hand to her foot when we were sleeping! 338 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,594 You violated our nap! 339 00:17:22,595 --> 00:17:24,545 Mom, did you do that? 340 00:17:24,546 --> 00:17:28,506 Hm, maybe I did, maybe I didn't. 341 00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:33,946 - I'm gonna help 'em. - You're gonna help 'em. 342 00:17:35,205 --> 00:17:38,873 Sam I'm sorry, but if you can't get your hand loose, you're gonna have to forfeit. 343 00:17:38,874 --> 00:17:40,006 - What? - Aw. 344 00:17:40,007 --> 00:17:42,679 Please, I can not believe this, what? 345 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,540 Why? 346 00:17:44,810 --> 00:17:47,779 Is there a rule that says I can't text... 347 00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,578 One-handed? 348 00:17:49,579 --> 00:17:51,799 Oh, what? 349 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:59,726 I need to check the rules, quick, check the rules. 350 00:17:59,727 --> 00:18:01,157 No. 351 00:18:01,158 --> 00:18:04,878 There is no rule against that. 352 00:18:05,082 --> 00:18:08,202 Then let's get texty! 353 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,832 Hop, hop, hop, hop... 354 00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:14,829 - You don't need to say hop. - I really do. 355 00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:16,436 - Okay. - Hop. 356 00:18:16,437 --> 00:18:20,176 You better do this, Butler! If you win, we get to meet the vice president... 357 00:18:20,177 --> 00:18:22,817 Sit down, lady! 358 00:18:23,463 --> 00:18:25,046 Okay, we're live on the web. 359 00:18:25,047 --> 00:18:30,947 And since we're late, let's get right to the extreme speed texting championship! 360 00:18:35,842 --> 00:18:40,295 Competing is three-time champion, Butler torso. 361 00:18:40,296 --> 00:18:41,718 - Yeah! - Butler! 362 00:18:41,719 --> 00:18:42,707 Yeah buddy! 363 00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:43,862 Yeah! 364 00:18:43,863 --> 00:18:46,927 Against newcomer, Sam Puckett! 365 00:18:46,928 --> 00:18:49,977 Who'll be texting one-handed! 366 00:18:49,978 --> 00:18:52,846 Because her other hand has unfortunately been 367 00:18:52,847 --> 00:18:55,532 glued to a little red-haired girl's foot. 368 00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:59,361 I'm cat, the girl with the foot! 369 00:18:59,362 --> 00:19:03,262 - Both texters ready? - Yes, sir. 370 00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:04,986 Call it. 371 00:19:04,987 --> 00:19:06,907 Text! 372 00:19:11,787 --> 00:19:13,947 Come on. 373 00:19:25,741 --> 00:19:27,706 Come on, Sam! 374 00:19:27,707 --> 00:19:29,867 Come on! 375 00:19:32,815 --> 00:19:34,351 Text! 376 00:19:34,352 --> 00:19:36,812 I'm texting! 377 00:19:41,391 --> 00:19:43,188 Come on... 378 00:19:43,189 --> 00:19:45,229 Butler! 379 00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,944 Let's go! 380 00:20:09,184 --> 00:20:11,344 Come on! 381 00:20:11,633 --> 00:20:14,033 I hate you. 382 00:20:14,990 --> 00:20:17,855 You better do this... 383 00:20:17,856 --> 00:20:19,868 For me! 384 00:20:19,869 --> 00:20:22,749 I wanna win again! 385 00:20:29,943 --> 00:20:31,643 Oh! 386 00:20:31,644 --> 00:20:33,444 Oh! 387 00:20:36,011 --> 00:20:37,252 Sam wins! 388 00:20:37,253 --> 00:20:38,243 Yeah! 389 00:20:38,244 --> 00:20:40,764 A new record! 390 00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:42,840 No! 391 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,710 Sam, you did it! 392 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:47,771 Butler amadeus torso... 393 00:20:47,772 --> 00:20:50,117 You dropped your phone on purpose! 394 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,752 Maybe I did... 395 00:20:51,753 --> 00:20:54,453 Maybe I didn't. 396 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:57,156 Hey, just lay off the kid. 397 00:20:57,157 --> 00:20:59,719 No! Now we don't get to meet the vice president! 398 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,337 And we don't even get the stupid speed boat! 399 00:21:02,338 --> 00:21:06,437 But Butler does win our second prize. 400 00:21:06,438 --> 00:21:08,027 My own bike?! 401 00:21:08,028 --> 00:21:11,645 Oh, no. No! You can't go anywhere without me! 402 00:21:11,646 --> 00:21:13,374 Freedom! 403 00:21:13,375 --> 00:21:17,455 Butler! Stop enjoying your childhood! 404 00:21:17,557 --> 00:21:20,489 Hey, hey! When do we get our speed boat?! 405 00:21:20,490 --> 00:21:22,770 Right now! 406 00:21:33,903 --> 00:21:35,568 What is this? 407 00:21:35,569 --> 00:21:38,381 A speedboat for ants? 408 00:21:38,382 --> 00:21:41,118 I'm not proud of it. 409 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:45,379 What are we supposed to do with that? 410 00:21:50,219 --> 00:21:53,219 This is not so fun. 411 00:21:53,690 --> 00:21:56,090 Yes, it is. 412 00:21:59,729 --> 00:22:01,503 It's the vice president again. 413 00:22:01,504 --> 00:22:03,784 Ignore it. 414 00:22:15,581 --> 00:22:18,581 This is not so fun. 415 00:22:18,787 --> 00:22:21,187 Yes, it is. 416 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:25,240 It's Jerry trainor again. 417 00:22:25,241 --> 00:22:27,515 Ignore it.