1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:02,085
[thunder rumbles]
2
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:14,973
-There she is again.
-Crazy hat's always here.
3
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,144
What do you think her deal is?
4
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,897
Former movie star?
Olympic figure skater?
5
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,315
Bum on a bench.
6
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,985
But look at how she looks at everyone.
7
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,363
What goes on in a head like hers?
8
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,781
I guess we'll never know.
9
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,158
Hey, crazy hat!
What goes on in your head?
10
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,286
And a new adventure begins.
11
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,957
You and you, c'mere!
I'll teach you about life.
12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,376
Can't. Stranger.
You want me to sit on the bench,
13
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,878
I'm gonna need three forms
of identification.
14
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,631
Trust me. I know who she is.
15
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,132
She's all right.
16
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,884
OK, Copper.
17
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,471
Hey! that's Officer Copper to you.
18
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:57,933
Mornin', Evelyn.
19
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,893
Never gonna stop rainin', is it?
20
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,771
That's OK, Eugene.
These two little dollies
21
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,399
are about to give me
one of their designer ponchos.
22
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,442
They're garbage bags, Eugene.
23
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,152
But you have to put a hole
for your head.
24
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,113
Ah, so you can breathe.
25
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:13,490
So the garbageman
doesn't throw you out.
26
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,367
Yep, that happened.
27
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,869
-I was yelling, but he didn't care.
-I rescued her from the truck.
28
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,707
She chased me all the way
to 33rd Street.
29
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,418
Wow, now that is a friend.
30
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,962
Me? I don't chase nobody for nothin'.
31
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,214
What if I stole a banana?
32
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:32,342
I'd be very disappointed in you.
33
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,052
OK.
34
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:38,348
I have observed
you two are good friends.
35
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,642
Don't miss a thing, do you, crazy hat?
36
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,144
No, I don't.
37
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,770
Now you're about to be late
for school,
38
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:47,065
And I'm about to be late
for addressing the United Nations.
39
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,192
Have a good day, dollies.
40
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,945
Be good people, learn all you can.
41
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,616
How does that happen to someone, Maya?
42
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,492
Do you think that could
ever happen to us?
43
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:02,164
Well, at least nothing worse
than that could ever happen.
44
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,333
Maya!
45
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,254
-Maya?
-OK.
46
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,966
[pop music playing]
47
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,012
♪ I've been waiting ♪
48
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,264
♪ For a day like this to come ♪
49
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,849
♪ Struck like lightning ♪
50
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,602
♪ My heart's beating like a drum ♪
51
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:27,481
♪ On the edge of something wonderful ♪
52
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,359
♪ Face to face with changes ♪
53
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,654
♪ What's it all about?
Life is crazy ♪
54
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,739
♪ But I know I can work it out ♪
55
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:39,910
♪ 'Cause I got you
to live it with me ♪
56
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:43,997
♪ I feel all right
I'm gonna take on the world ♪
57
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:47,209
♪ Light up the stars
I've got some pages to turn ♪
58
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,128
♪ I'm singing "go-o-o" ♪
59
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,297
♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
60
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:55,342
♪ Take on the world
Take on the world ♪
61
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:58,053
♪ Take on the world
Take on the world ♪
62
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:01,014
♪ Take on the world
Take on the world ♪
63
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,184
Belgium, 1831--
64
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,102
No!
65
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,522
-In 1831, Belgium--
-No!
66
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,400
-Riley?
-What's my thing?
67
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,610
-What's your thing?
-What am I going to be, Dad?
68
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:14,861
Am I gonna be OK?
69
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:16,988
Riley, listen to me very carefully.
70
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:17,906
OK.
71
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:22,119
In 1831, Belgium declared
its independence from the Netherlands.
72
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:26,248
What will people be thinking of me
if I end up living in a subway?
73
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,751
What if nothing happens for her, sir?
74
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,795
Riley can't end up like that.
She's my meal ticket!
75
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:36,049
What the-- I just saw
you girls at breakfast!
76
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,679
[in Dutch]
What happened in Belgium?
77
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,891
[in English] Calm down, Farkle.
You're speaking in Dutch again.
78
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,476
[in Dutch]
Oh, really?
79
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,980
[in Spanish]
My education should not be based...
80
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,732
[Cory, in English]
No, no, no. [laughs]
81
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,483
You slapped yourself way too hard.
82
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,985
You went all the way to Spanish.
83
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,823
My education should not be based
on your daughter's moods.
84
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,243
Neither should mine, but it is!
85
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:08,123
Guys, a daughter asks her father,
86
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,416
"What's my thing?"
87
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,377
This question will resonate
in the hearts of all parents
88
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,337
from the moment it's asked
89
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,590
until the day their child
feels comfortable in the world.
90
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,260
Pretty soon you're all
going to join the work force.
91
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,262
What's your thing?
92
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,973
What do you aspire to?
93
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,559
How will you affect people?
94
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,520
That's the only history that matters.
95
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,813
Thank you, Daddy.
96
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,231
[whimpers] Thank you, Daddy.
97
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,401
All right, guys, tell you what.
98
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:39,112
Let's split the class
into two separate businesses
99
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,864
and see how you do for yourselves.
100
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,908
We'll see if anyone's got
anything to worry about, OK?
101
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,827
[mimics cartoon character) Excellent.
102
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,162
[in normal voice]
What will our companies be?
103
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,414
Doesn't matter. Uh...
104
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,208
Muffins, OK?
105
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,795
You two are going to be
"Riley and Farkle's muffins."
106
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,589
-That'll be your thing for the week.
-I already got my thing.
107
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,633
Riley's gonna be a success
and I'm gonna sponge off her
108
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,259
until she gets sick of me.
109
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,762
-I will never get sick of you.
-I am set for life!
110
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,765
All right, let's get out there
and make some money--
111
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,434
Cash, cabbage, cheddah-cheeeze!
112
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,853
Those are your values, Farkle?
113
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,939
What else should a company value
but profits?
114
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,941
Well, if I had a company,
I'd treat my employees well
115
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,859
and make sure we did right
by our customers.
116
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,945
You are everything that's wrong
with this country.
117
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,741
Then you do have a company, Lucas.
118
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,327
"Hart and Friar muffins."
119
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,872
So these two competing companies
120
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,375
will hire the rest
of you guys as employees.
121
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,336
Everyone else in school
will be your customers.
122
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,713
-Let's see what happens.
-Here's what happens,
123
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:41,007
-we crush you.
-We will be bajillionaires,
124
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:43,385
and you will eat your words
using plastic cutlery.
125
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,555
You're cute when you're menacing.
126
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,100
I don't know what to do now.
127
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,854
-I know.
-[bell ringing]
128
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,445
-What?
-Belgium. Let's go.
129
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,365
-Get out.
-OK.
130
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:11,204
♪ I'm singing "go-o-o" ♪
131
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,875
-It's time for you to pay me.
-[laughs]
132
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,501
What would I be paying you for?
133
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,461
I don't know. You pay Riley.
134
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,756
I give Riley an allowance
because she does chores.
135
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,050
-What do you do?
-You're lookin' at it.
136
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,762
OK, here is a nickel.
137
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,807
Is this a joke?
138
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,726
Well, what do you think
you're worth, Auggie?
139
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,604
I think I'm worth $3.49 plus tax.
140
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,524
Well, that sounds like
the price of something.
141
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:43,194
And you know that somebody's birthday
is coming up, don't you?
142
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,655
Maybe I do.
143
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,452
Well, then you are about 200 times
cuter than I thought.
144
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,787
Wow, 10 bucks!
145
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,497
I'm gonna go roll around in this!
146
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,293
-I like chocolate!
-Me, too!
147
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,715
-Yay!
-[bell dings]
148
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,885
-Yay!
-[bell dings]
149
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,888
-Last muffin from this batch.
-[crowd groans]
150
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,098
Why are their muffins so white?
151
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:13,934
One dollar.
152
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,560
Hold on.
153
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,188
-I don't think so.
-What are you doing, Farkle?
154
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,940
It's the law of supply and demand,
Riley.
155
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,650
We supply, they demand.
156
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,610
Let's find out what our last muffin
is worth to them.
157
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,403
-A dollar and a quarter!
-$1.50.
158
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:28,281
Hey! what's so great
about their muffins?
159
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,116
We've got plenty
of muffins right here.
160
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,327
-Two dollars.
-$2.50!
161
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,870
I'll give you my brother!
162
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,375
All right, progress reports.
163
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,002
What's up in make-believe
corporate America?
164
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,253
Hart and Friar muffins report.
165
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,922
We started with 100 muffins,
166
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,007
made each with all-natural
and organic ingredients.
167
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,093
And you selected
these ingredients because?
168
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,804
Because that's the right
and responsible thing to do.
169
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,555
You really believe that?
170
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,683
I dunno!
You spend a day with this guy.
171
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,895
So far we've sold 14 muffins
at a dollar each.
172
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,397
OK, how much do they cost you?
173
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,149
-They didn't cost us anything to make.
-Well, how's that possible?
174
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,527
Well, my mother bought them for us.
175
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,154
She wanted us to sell healthy food.
176
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,240
How's that workin' out for us
so far, Huckleberry?
177
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,618
As soon as we sell them all,
I'll pay her back.
178
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,495
I stand by our product, sir.
179
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,622
So do I. They're everywhere.
180
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,918
How are your profits, Friar?
181
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,170
Let me teach my class, Farkle, OK?
182
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,423
I decide what to say
and when I'm gonna say it,
183
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,551
and I decide who to call on
and what I'm gonna ask them!
184
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,429
-How were my profits, Friar?
-Yes!
185
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,223
Well, I have those right here, sir.
186
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,560
None.
187
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,271
-I'm sorry, what?
-None.
188
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,815
And it's not right, sir.
Our muffins are good for you.
189
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,234
-I'm sorry, what?
-None!
190
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,527
We can't even give them away.
191
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,243
All right, let's talk about
a real make-believe company.
192
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,328
Farkle's muffins!
193
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,914
Riley and Farkle's muffins.
194
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,708
Yeah, keep tellin' yourself that.
195
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:03,793
Unlike our competitors,
196
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,379
our profits are through the roof,
and so are our employees.
197
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,593
Why are they like that?
198
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,679
-They ate the product, sir.
-Riley?
199
00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:17,057
Everybody seems to like
our muffins, Dad.
200
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,934
Oh, my sweet innocent child.
201
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,980
-Can't you see why?
-Because they're filled with love.
202
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,775
I don't think that's what
they're filled with, Riley.
203
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:31,488
Yeah. Why do they come out
so white, Farkle?
204
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,032
Because they're 100% carbon,
hydrogen and oxygen.
205
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,117
Uh, explain that
to the non-scientists, Farkle.
206
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,621
Sugar! They're all sugar!
Just one big sugar cube!
207
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,165
What?
208
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,668
Ours are oatmeal, honey
and locally-harvested berries.
209
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,630
Farkle, you said all-natural.
210
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,590
-Sugar!
-You said organic.
211
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,593
-Sugar!
-You said delicious.
212
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:54,761
[all] Sugar!
213
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,764
Farkle, we're a business.
214
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,016
Businesses do not just
mislead their customers
215
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,976
-to make a little bit of money!
-Ha-aaaa!
216
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,355
We're done for, Farkle.
217
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,690
These muffins are pure evil.
218
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,900
Are you gonna eat that?
Because if you're not gonna eat that
219
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,110
I would eat that right now
is what I would do
220
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,195
is I would eat that right now
is what I would do.
221
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,657
You know how you succeed, Riley?
222
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,075
You give the people what they want.
223
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,201
That's why we're a success...
224
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,748
And they're not.
225
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,585
This isn't fair, Mr. Matthews!
226
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,213
I had to listen to Lucas
and his mother talk about
227
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,674
[twangy accent] "Good eatin'"
and "wholesome livin'"
228
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:36,219
and "the natural cornucopia
of the earth's bounty"...
229
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,930
Have you ever even heard me talk?
230
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:41,182
Huh-hur-rrrr!
231
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,309
Wow.
232
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,395
...while these two just
poured sugar into a muffin cup.
233
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,479
It isn't fair!
234
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:47,397
What isn't fair?
235
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,773
That I'm not on their team!
236
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,734
Maya, what we did isn't OK.
237
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,112
But I didn't know and I'm not
going down for this. I'll talk.
238
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,447
To who? To everyone who loves our muffins?
239
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,701
Enjoy the taste of success, Riley.
It's sweet.
240
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,955
Not to me. I have a very
bitter taste in my mouth.
241
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,498
You must've eaten one of ours.
242
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,376
Maya, you played fair. We didn't.
243
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,461
We have no integrity. You do.
244
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:13,464
And what does that get them?
We can buy and sell their business.
245
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:17,177
In fact, I like the sound of that.
Yeah!
246
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,430
I propose a merger
between Riley and Farkle's muffins
247
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,806
and Hart and Friar muffins.
248
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,016
Why the merger, Farkle?
249
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,101
We both have what we each need,
Mr. Matthews.
250
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,104
We have profits. They have integrity.
I'm buyin' it!
251
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,648
My integrity is not for sale.
252
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,609
-Mine is.
-Maya!
253
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,444
We owe your mother a hundred bucks.
254
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,905
Put 'er there, partner!
255
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,990
Our new company will be called...
256
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:40,825
"Farkle."
257
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,620
Your names are no longer
part of the company.
258
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,538
Why not?
259
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,166
"What's the first thing
that happens after a merger, Daddy?"
260
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,461
What's the first thing
that happens after a merger, Daddy?
261
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,504
Downsizing.
262
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,424
When two companies come together,
employees become vulnerable.
263
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,969
-Don't tell him!
-Uh, Riley, I think he already knows.
264
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,767
Lucas, fire half of the company.
265
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,937
-Start with Riley and Maya.
-Why do I have to do that?
266
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,522
Because you're all full of that
Texas "gee willikers" hooey.
267
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,568
You charm people.
So you'll be the face of the company
268
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,946
and I'll be the behind-the-scenes
hermit genius.
269
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:22,575
-Mr. Matthews?
-How do you argue with that?
270
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,828
Always liked you, Matthews. You got moxie.
271
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,289
Thanks, chief!
272
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,796
-Riley?
-Yeah?
273
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,257
You're fired.
274
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,343
Fine. [footsteps]
275
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,222
Hey, if she goes, I go.
276
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,603
Friendship and loyalty are for the weak.
277
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,730
Let everyone know
I'll cook another batch.
278
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,274
And raise the price up to $3.00.
279
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,442
-They'll never go for it.
-Oh...
280
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:57,944
I think they're hooked.
281
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,993
Mommy, doing your lawyer stuff?
282
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:07,036
Yeah, I'm just going over a case.
283
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,746
-What's it about?
-Oh!
284
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,748
Thank you for taking an interest,
Auggie!
285
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,084
One company under-reported
their earnings for the fiscal...
286
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,670
Please make it stop!
287
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,505
[doorbell rings]
288
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,215
Thank you!
289
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,843
-Who's that?
-That's what I spent my allowance on.
290
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:26,764
Oh, well, it's not quite
my birthday yet, but OK!
291
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,600
And it's a delivery?
You had something delivered?
292
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:33,062
How did you do that?
Are you a genius and we don't know it?
293
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,106
Hi, Auggie.
294
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:39,610
Thanks for the stuff!
295
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:42,155
OK, no. You're not a genius.
296
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,157
You're just a boy under the spell of...
297
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,116
♪ Look at me ♪
298
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:50,204
♪ I'm Ava Mor-gen-stern!
Yeah! ♪
299
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,667
I just like you more and more.
300
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,296
Auggie bought all of this for me.
301
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,465
What did he buy for you?
302
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,676
Auggie doesn't have to buy
my love with costume jewelry.
303
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,386
[demonic voice]
You said this was real!
304
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:09,807
OK, OK! You know what we're gonna do?
305
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,142
You know what we're gonna do right now?
306
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:14,187
We are going to play hide and seek!
Yes, we are!
307
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,564
OK, Auggie, you can go
in the other room and count.
308
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,858
-Isn't the hider supposed...
-We're gonna play a new way.
309
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,569
-I'm pretty sure it's supposed...
-New way!
310
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,571
Women!
311
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:29,369
-I'm onto you.
-This is not about us, Topanga.
312
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,372
What did you say?
313
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,916
Auggie needs a raise in his allowance.
314
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:39,295
I'll tell you what, you little sugar cube.
315
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,175
I am gonna show you
the best place to hide
316
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:46,636
-where he will never find you!
-Where?
317
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,639
[both] Whee!
318
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,557
-Your house.
-But...
319
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,478
[Auggie] Ready or not here I come!
320
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,317
[whispering] Mommy, where's
Ava? Am I getting warm?
321
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,152
No.
322
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,696
-Auggie?
-Yes?
323
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,949
You bought Ava some shiny stuff, huh?
324
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:11,035
Because I love her. Where is she?
325
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,996
Listen, Auggie,
what's shiny isn't always good.
326
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,207
But it sure was expensive.
327
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,001
-You don't have any money left?
-Nope.
328
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,461
Who's gonna love me now?
329
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:26,175
Listen, people don't always
know what's good for them.
330
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,386
Please know what's good for you, Auggie.
331
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,764
This is pretty good.
332
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,017
You threw her out again, didn't you?
333
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,448
I gave my whole life to that company.
334
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:51,534
What happened?
I can't even keep a fake job.
335
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,453
Oh no, all of my fears are realized.
336
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,954
I'm going to end up here!
337
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,789
Don't go crazy.
338
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,918
Now go crazy.
339
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,588
Now you got fired...
[mumbles gibberish]
340
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,509
Ah, the box of shame.
341
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,219
What happened?
342
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,929
Class project. Fake business.
343
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,390
-Got fired.
-Not so terrible.
344
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,309
I've been fired myself once or twice.
345
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,269
Yeah, but not from fake businesses.
346
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,979
I think you could call 'em that.
347
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,023
Now I come down here and watch people
348
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,901
coming and going,
giving their lives to fake businesses.
349
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,279
[sighs] Welp, gotta go! Big meeting!
350
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,365
With squirrels.
351
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,371
Yeah. Thanks.
352
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,836
It's just us. It's just us on the bench.
353
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,880
No jobs, no future, no dollar,
354
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:49,884
because I gave it to her. What am I
gonna do about my mid-afternoon snack?
355
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,845
I got pizza crust and a shoe.
356
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,639
-What size?
-Ten!
357
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,516
What a terrible day.
358
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,982
♪ I'm singing "go-o-o" ♪
359
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:07,318
♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
360
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,446
[chuckles]
361
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,865
Well, look who's still here.
362
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,785
My dollies.
363
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,538
Been looking at the people, huh?
364
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,082
Hey, hat, you're a sight for sore eyes.
365
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,751
-How'd your meeting go?
-Oh, the usual.
366
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:27,338
Yelled at everybody.
Y'know, rahr rahr rah! Rahr rahr rah!
367
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,340
Had 'em all running around scared of me.
368
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,884
-Sounds like fun.
-It's more fun
369
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,303
when I come down here
from my big, tall building.
370
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,848
-Oh, your building?
-It was named after me.
371
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,976
The crazy hat building?
372
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:44,355
I sit here lookin' at all the people
because it turns out,
373
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:47,900
other people are the key to your
own happiness. I watch 'em enough
374
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,319
and I start thinkin' about
what I can do for them.
375
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,613
-What you can do for them?
-Mm-hmm.
376
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:58,119
Now you've been lookin' at all
these people, now what do you see?
377
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,918
I see a bunch of wet people who could
probably use some real umbrellas.
378
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:09,880
Yeah, not the no-good kind
some Farkle sells on the street
379
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,758
just to make some
"cash, cabbage, cheddah-cheese."
380
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:16,512
Huh. You saw all that
just by lookin' a little, hmm.
381
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,431
What's a Farkle?
382
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,020
Did you know that people won't
protect themselves from the storm,
383
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,022
but they'll make sure their
morning donut stays dry?
384
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,482
Interesting observation.
385
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,443
Now what are you gonna
tell your class about it?
386
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,862
Nothing. Not going back.
387
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,114
-Tired of being humiliated.
-Tough.
388
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,950
You know what? We're gonna go back.
389
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,535
Crazy hat goes into buildings
390
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,246
and screams at people
and you're not humiliated, right?
391
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,998
-Rahr!
-Rrow!
392
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,709
OK, rahr.
393
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,419
That was terrible!
394
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,678
It's been raining for six days.
395
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,389
Here's what's real.
People are wet and cold out there.
396
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,017
And they need something
to keep them safe from the storm,
397
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,769
and we know how to give it to them.
398
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,854
What if every single
subway stop in New York City
399
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,356
was stocked with donated umbrellas?
400
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:11,400
The Matthews and Hart
Umbrella Foundation. It's non-profit.
401
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,485
What?
402
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,947
When you come into the subway station,
you leave an umbrella in the stand...
403
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:19,659
And when you leave the next station,
there'll be one waiting for you.
404
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:21,786
The Matthews and Hart
Umbrella Foundation.
405
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,162
We got you covered.
406
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,790
There's no money in umbrellas.
407
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,250
-No, only people.
-My company makes a profit.
408
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:31,003
Yeah, but at what cost?
Look at your customers.
409
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:35,383
How could something that tastes
so good make me feel so bad?
410
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,928
What goes up must come down, Farkle.
411
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,981
At least I was up.
What do you have besides an idea?
412
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:52,858
They've got an investor!
413
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,695
-Oh, no.
-She followed us.
414
00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:58,906
Evelyn Rand.
415
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,366
What? You know crazy hat?
416
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:04,286
I know she's the chairman
of the board of Rand Industries.
417
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,123
You guys walk by her building
on the way to school.
418
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,042
-She really has a building?
-With her name on it.
419
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,502
[chuckling]
420
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,130
You'll usually find me
on the top floor of my building
421
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,090
going, "Rahr rahr rah!"
422
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:21,178
You two dollies want to know
how I got my name on the building?
423
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,389
I do!
424
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:27,309
By knowing a good idea when I hear one.
425
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:31,230
So I've made out a check
to "The Two Dollies."
426
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,524
-You can do that?
-I can do whatever I want.
427
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:37,695
Now what I want you to do
is go get some umbrellas,
428
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,447
go get 'em in some subway stations.
429
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,074
You start. The people will do the rest.
430
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,410
I believe in them. I've watched them.
431
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,954
Now which one is the Farkle?
432
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,917
Mm-hmm.
433
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:57,590
Stop it!
434
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,051
Now... [strains]
435
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,722
this is $1.00, Farkle.
436
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:08,559
Somebody came by it by doing hard work.
437
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,144
Not by pumping people up
with something
438
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,979
you knew would let them down.
439
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,483
Don't keep the dollar.
440
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:18,360
It won't fix you if you keep it.
Pass it on.
441
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:21,697
That's what changes you, Farkle.
Take it from me.
442
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:22,865
[in Dutch]
Thank you.
443
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,366
[in Dutch]
You're welcome.
444
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,206
[in English] And, you two,
don't worry so much about your future.
445
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,249
-Really?
-Really, yes.
446
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,960
You two dollies,
you're going to be just fine.
447
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:38,088
Mm-hmm, now here,
here's your first umbrella.
448
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:48,140
Uh... Nice, nice work, Dad.
449
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,393
You really think that you can make
a difference in these kids' lives?
450
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:53,437
Yeah, I do.
451
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:55,731
I'm their teacher.
452
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:58,734
Good for you.
453
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,491
Riley, if it's at all possible,
454
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:06,992
I'd like to help out with your company.
455
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:09,703
Aww. You're as sweet as sugar.
456
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:13,833
Ms. Matthews says you're fired.
457
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,836
Huh-hur-rrrr!
458
00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:21,674
Yeah, I had that coming.
459
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:24,969
[theme music playing]
460
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,941
♪ I'll be by your side ♪
461
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:44,071
♪ I'll be by your side ♪
462
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:50,035
♪ When the sky's gone gray
And it starts to rain ♪
463
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,205
♪ I'll be by your side ♪
464
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,709
-♪ I'll... ♪
-♪ Ooooh ♪
465
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,295
♪ We belong together ♪
466
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,589
♪ Ooooh ♪
467
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:03,924
♪ Ain't nobody better ♪
468
00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:06,927
♪ I'll be by your side ♪
469
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:11,849
♪ I'll be by your side ♪
470
00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:17,771
♪ When nothing's making sense
And you need a friend ♪
471
00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:21,066
♪ I'll be by your side ♪
472
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,279
♪ Ooooh ♪
473
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:27,698
[vocalizing]