1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,375
Maya:
<i>THE FOLLOWING IS</i>

2
00:00:02,375 --> 00:00:04,250
<i>A CAMPAIGN COMMERCIAL</i>
<i>BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE...</i>

3
00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:05,458
Riley:
<i>IMAGINE YOUR EDUCATION</i>

4
00:00:05,458 --> 00:00:06,625
<i>IN A MAGICAL KINGDOM</i>

5
00:00:06,625 --> 00:00:08,625
<i>AND UNICORNS</i>
<i>ROAM THE HALLS.</i>

6
00:00:10,625 --> 00:00:12,583
SAY GOODBYE TO TOO MUCH
STUDYING.

7
00:00:21,083 --> 00:00:24,083
SAY GOODBYE
TO MEDDLING TEACHERS.

8
00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:28,083
BUT, RILEY,
I'M YOUR FA--

9
00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:33,958
A VOTE FOR ME IS A VOTE
TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

10
00:00:33,958 --> 00:00:35,583
I AM PRINCESS RILEY MATTHEWS

11
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AND I APPROVETH THIS MESSAGETH.

12
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THE CAMPAIGN OF RILEY MATTHEWS

13
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IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONE

14
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WHO THINKS A HORSE IS A UNICORN.

15
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NO, WE'RE NOT.

16
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<i>( pop music playing )</i>

17
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<i>♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING ♪</i>

18
00:00:52,708 --> 00:00:54,125
<i>♪ FOR A DAY ♪</i>

19
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<i>♪ LIKE THIS TO COME ♪</i>

20
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<i>♪ STRUCK LIKE LIGHTNING ♪</i>

21
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<i>♪ MY HEART'S BEATING</i>
<i>LIKE A DRUM ♪</i>

22
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<i>♪ ON THE EDGE</i>
<i>OF SOMETHING WONDERFUL ♪</i>

23
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<i>♪ FACE TO FACE WITH CHANGES ♪</i>

24
00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:07,291
<i>♪ WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT? ♪</i>

25
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<i>♪ LIFE IS CRAZY ♪</i>

26
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<i>♪ BUT I KNOW I CAN</i>
<i>WORK IT OUT ♪</i>

27
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<i>♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU ♪</i>

28
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<i>♪ TO LIVE IT WITH ME ♪</i>

29
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<i>♪ I FEEL ALL RIGHT,</i>
<i>I'M GONNA TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

30
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:23,083
<i>♪ LIGHT UP THE STARS,</i>
<i>I'VE GOT SOME PAGES TO TURN ♪</i>

31
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<i>♪ I'M SINGING "GO-O-O" ♪</i>

32
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<i>♪ OH OH OH OH ♪</i>

33
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<i>♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

34
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<i>♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

35
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<i>♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD,</i>
<i>TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

36
00:01:33,958 --> 00:01:36,750
♪<i>TAKE ON THE WORLD,</i>
<i>TAKE ON THE WORLD. ♪</i>

37
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- DEMOCRACY.
-<i>( typewriter</i>
<i>clicking )</i>

38
00:01:44,875 --> 00:01:46,125
OUR FORM
OF GOVERNMENT

39
00:01:46,125 --> 00:01:48,000
WHERE THE POWER LIES
WITH THE PEOPLE.

40
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,291
SO WHO HERE
CAN TELL ME
ANOTHER FORM

41
00:01:50,291 --> 00:01:51,166
OF GOVERNMENT
WHERE THE POWER

42
00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:52,458
DOESN'T LIE WITH
THE PEOPLE?

43
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:53,750
FARKLE!
THANK YOU, SIR.

44
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:55,416
DICTATORS.
LOVE 'EM.

45
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,708
THEY GET TO DO WHATEVER
THEY WANT.

46
00:01:56,708 --> 00:01:57,958
I WANNA BE
ONE SOMEDAY.

47
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,416
MR. FRIAR!

48
00:02:01,416 --> 00:02:03,708
SORRY FOR BEING LATE, SIR.
MY FLIGHT WAS DELAYED.

49
00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:05,875
YOU WENT BACK TO TEXAS
AGAIN THIS WEEKEND?

50
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:09,000
- VISITED MY FRIENDS.
- HE MISSES HIS OLD FRIENDS.

51
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,000
AWW.  COWBOY'S
GOT THE BLUES.

52
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,583
( twangy )
♪ CAMPFIRE FOR ONE ♪

53
00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:19,250
♪ MY FRIENDS
ARE ALL COWS ♪

54
00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:21,458
♪ AND I MISS 'EM ♪

55
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:24,000
- ♪ HA-HUR, HA-HUR-HUR... ♪
- ( harmonica music playing )

56
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,208
♪ HA-HUR... ♪

57
00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:32,208
I WILL NEVER GET
TO YOU, WILL I?

58
00:02:32,208 --> 00:02:34,875
NO, BUT I SURE DO
APPRECIATE THE EFFORT.

59
00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:36,333
( angrily )
OOH!

60
00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:39,458
OKAY, GUYS,

61
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:42,291
SEVENTH GRADE
STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS
ARE COMING UP.

62
00:02:42,291 --> 00:02:44,458
- ( kids groan )
- YAY. ( chuckles )

63
00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:47,375
- WHY THAT?
- BECAUSE EVERY YEAR
SOMEBODY RUNS,

64
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,833
MAKES PROMISES
AND NOBODY DOES ANYTHING.

65
00:02:49,833 --> 00:02:52,458
YEAH.  WHAT LUNKHEAD'S
RUNNING THE ELECTIONS
THIS YEAR?

66
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:53,833
HOW YA DOING?

67
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:57,083
CAN'T YOU JUST
MAKE A CHANGE?

68
00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:59,458
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S UP TO YOU GUYS
TO MAKE CHANGES.

69
00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:02,333
SINCE WE'RE
STUDYING ALTERNATE FORMS
OF GOVERNMENTS THIS YEAR,

70
00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:03,833
WHY NOT LET
THE CANDIDATES RUN

71
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,375
IN ANY FORM
OF GOVERNMENT THEY CHOOSE?

72
00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:08,458
- ( kids groan )
- YAY.

73
00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:10,583
SO ANY NOMINATIONS?

74
00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:13,500
I, FARKLE, NOMINATE
I, FARKLE, FOR DICTATOR.

75
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:16,458
( chuckles )
YOU CAN'T NOMINATE
YOURSELF, FARKLE.

76
00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:19,375
- I'LL NOMINATE HIM.
- REALLY?

77
00:03:19,375 --> 00:03:22,000
YEAH.  I LIKE YA.
I GOT YOUR BACK.

78
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,291
I THOUGHT
YOU HAD MY BACK.

79
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I GOT HIS BACK.

80
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WHOA, EASY THERE,
HARMONICA.

81
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:32,125
WHO ARE YOU?
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

82
00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:34,625
- HE'S THE REBEL.
- WELL, WHAT AM I?

83
00:03:34,625 --> 00:03:37,166
OH, YOU'RE THE GOOD GUY.
YOU'RE OUR MORAL COMPASS.

84
00:03:37,166 --> 00:03:39,625
WOW.  THAT SOUNDS
HARD TO PULL OFF.

85
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:41,291
YEAH, BUT YOU'RE
REALLY GOOD AT IT.

86
00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:44,083
- THANKS.
- SEE?

87
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:48,625
HE'S RIGHT, FRIAR.
REPRESENT DEMOCRACY.

88
00:03:48,625 --> 00:03:50,958
I DON'T KNOW,
MR. MATTHEWS.

89
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IF DEMOCRACY WORKED,

90
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:54,583
MAYBE I'D HAVE GOTTEN A VOTE
ON WHERE I GET TO LIVE.

91
00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:58,250
I NOMINATE LUCAS FRIAR
FOR PRESIDENT.

92
00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:00,000
OKAY.  SECOND?

93
00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:03,166
NO, HONEY,
YOU NOMINATED HIM.

94
00:04:03,166 --> 00:04:04,625
YOU CAN'T SECOND
THE NOMINATI--

95
00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:05,708
ALL RIGHT, FINE.

96
00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:09,708
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HE'S YOUR COMPETITION.

97
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,625
- I'M NOT RUNNING
FOR ANYTHING.
- YES, YOU ARE.

98
00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:14,166
I GOT PLANS FOR YOU.

99
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:17,166
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?

100
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:19,166
IT'D BE AN HONOR
TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

101
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:21,708
THANK YOU, RILEY.

102
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:24,291
MY PLEASURE, BUDDY.
( chuckles )

103
00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:26,375
I DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENS.

104
00:04:29,708 --> 00:04:31,375
I'M NOMINATING YOU
FOR SOMETHING.

105
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:32,875
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
TO BE THE VOICE

106
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:34,958
OF STRONG-WILLED,
CONFIDENT WOMEN
EVERYWHERE.

107
00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:37,125
I WANNA BE A PRINCESS.

108
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- LISTEN TO ME--
- NO!  YOU LISTEN TO ME.

109
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I'M 12 YEARS OLD.
THE WINDOW IS CLOSING
ON MY PRINCESS DREAM.

110
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,750
I'M TOO OLD
TO BE A FLOWER GIRL,

111
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:49,125
AND I AIN'T WINNING
ANY PAGEANTS UNTIL I GROW
INTO THESE LIMBS.

112
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:51,833
( sighs )
PRINCESS IS ALL I HAVE.

113
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,375
- GET IT FOR ME.
- AS YOU WISH, M'LADY.

114
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YAY.

115
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,458
HEY, DAD,
CAMPAIGN QUESTION.

116
00:05:03,458 --> 00:05:05,125
IMPARTIAL!
AS YOUR TEACHER,

117
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:07,291
I MUST REFRAIN
FROM SHOWING ANY FAVORITISM.

118
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:11,208
BUT AS YOUR FATHER,
WHADDYA GOT?

119
00:05:11,208 --> 00:05:13,875
I GOT SERIOUS RILEY.

120
00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:15,208
LOSER!
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?

121
00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:20,416
SMILEY RILEY!

122
00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:23,000
LOVE HER!  SEE YOU
AT THE VICTORY PARTY.

123
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,125
- ( whispering ) QUIET!
- ( yelps )

124
00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:29,416
AUGGIE WILL NOT GO TO SLEEP.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.

125
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,875
I HAVE AN IDEA.

126
00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:33,166
MOMMY.

127
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,416
Cory:
<i>HOW COME YOU'RE</i>
<i>STILL AWAKE, AUG?</i>

128
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:39,458
WHEN MOMMY READ
THE BOOK THE FIRST TIME,
SHE SAID...

129
00:05:39,458 --> 00:05:41,166
( sweetly )
"IF YOU GIVE
A MOUSE A COOKIE,

130
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,708
HE'LL ASK
FOR A GLASS OF MILK."

131
00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:45,875
BUT THEN,
FIVE TIMES LATER,
SHE WAS LIKE...

132
00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:50,250
( angrily )
"EAT YOUR STINKING
COOKIE, MOUSE!

133
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,625
EAT IT!"

134
00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:54,833
( normal voice )
AND NOW I'M AWAKE.

135
00:05:56,958 --> 00:05:58,625
COREY, LOOK,
I KNOW TONIGHT
IS MY NIGHT,

136
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,958
BUT COULD YOU PLEASE
PUT HIM TO BED?

137
00:06:00,958 --> 00:06:02,375
TOPANGA,
I GOTTA GRADE PAPERS.

138
00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:03,625
I GOTTA BE
AT COURT AT 8:00 A.M.

139
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,083
TO STOP A NURSING HOME
FROM BEING TORN DOWN.

140
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:07,875
I GOTTA HAVE BREAKFAST
WITH MOTHER TERESA AND GANDHI,

141
00:06:07,875 --> 00:06:09,875
AND WE ARE GOING
TO PLAY RACQUETBALL.

142
00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:11,458
AND SHE'S REALLY GOOD.

143
00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:20,083
I'M AWAKE.

144
00:06:20,083 --> 00:06:22,708
HEY, AUG, GUESS WHAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?

145
00:06:22,708 --> 00:06:25,208
THE PHILLIES ARE PLAYING
THE METS ON TV.

146
00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:27,416
- UH, DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S A LITTLE LATE?
-<i>( crowd cheering on TV )</i>

147
00:06:27,416 --> 00:06:29,208
TOPANGA,
IT'S THE NINTH INNING.

148
00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:30,750
THERE'S LIKE
FIVE MINUTES LEFT.

149
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:34,000
HEY, YOU HAVE FAILED.
HOW COULD I DO WORSE?

150
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,166
- I'LL TELL YOU--
- FERP!

151
00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:39,458
NINTH INNING.
WHAT COULD HAPPEN?

152
00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:44,500
Announcer:
<i>And at the end of nine:</i>

153
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:46,166
<i>the Mets nothing,</i>
<i>and the Phillies nothing.</i>

154
00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:47,833
<i>Put on a pot</i>
<i>of coffee, folks,</i>

155
00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:49,708
<i>we could be here</i>
<i>all night.</i>

156
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:53,083
- ( chuckles )
- Both: OH YEAH!

157
00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:03,708
26 INNINGS?

158
00:07:03,708 --> 00:07:05,166
WE'RE MEN.

159
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:08,125
<i>MEN WATCH</i>
<i>THE WHOLE GAME,</i>

160
00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:10,333
OR WE'RE NOT MEN.
RIGHT, AUG?

161
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,500
- ( gasps )
- LOOK, HONEY,
YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED!

162
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,958
- HE'S SLEEPING.
- OH.

163
00:07:19,958 --> 00:07:21,875
HONEY, I WANT HIM
SLEEPING AT NIGHT,

164
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,000
AND NOW HE'S NOT GONNA
SLEEP AGAIN TONIGHT.

165
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,125
WHY WON'T HE SLEEP
AT NIGHT?  TELL ME.

166
00:07:27,291 --> 00:07:29,083
YOU I'M LEAVING THERE.

167
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,833
AND THAT'S HOW
YOU GET OUTTA THAT.

168
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:49,208
EVERYBODY DESERVES

169
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:50,125
THE RIGHT TO VOTE.

170
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:51,291
BECAUSE IF THAT RIGHT

171
00:07:51,291 --> 00:07:52,458
IS TAKEN AWAY

172
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:54,375
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GET?

173
00:07:54,375 --> 00:07:57,000
I AM FARKLE!
AND THESE ARE
THE DICTATORETTES.

174
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,708
THEY ARE PART OF THE NEW
FARKLE NATION.

175
00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:01,583
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE PART
OF THE NEW FARKLE NATION?!

176
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:03,583
Kids: MEH.

177
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:06,625
NOBODY'S BUYING, FARKLE.
NOBODY WANTS YOU FOR DICTATOR.

178
00:08:06,625 --> 00:08:08,583
I WAS AFRAID SOMETHING
LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

179
00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:10,458
BUT GENIUS THAT I AM,
I HAVE A PLAN.

180
00:08:10,458 --> 00:08:13,166
( Brooklyn accent )
I GOT AN UNCLE MORTY
IN THE T-SHIRT BUSINESS.

181
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:15,291
( normal voice )
WHO WILL BECOME PART
OF FARKLE NATION

182
00:08:15,291 --> 00:08:18,083
- FOR A FREE T-SHIRT?!
- Kids: YEAH!

183
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,333
DICTATORETTES,
GIVE THE PEOPLES
WHAT THEY WANT.

184
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,291
( cheering )

185
00:08:23,291 --> 00:08:25,291
UH-OH.

186
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:26,750
INSTEAD OF LEARNING
ON BOOKS,

187
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,125
WE SHOULD LEARN
ON TABLETS.

188
00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:30,250
THE WHOLE WORLD WILL BE
AT OUR FINGERTIPS.

189
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:33,708
INSTEAD OF READING
ABOUT SPAIN, WE HIT
A BUTTON AND WE GO THERE!

190
00:08:33,708 --> 00:08:35,166
<i>OLE!</i>

191
00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:40,625
- WHAT YOU DOING?
- I'M ADDRESSING THE ISSUES.

192
00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:42,208
NOBODY CARES ABOUT
THE ISSUES, RILES.

193
00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:44,125
THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT
WHO'S HAVING THE MOST FUN.

194
00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:47,333
- FARKLE NATION!
- Kids: FARKLE NATION!

195
00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:50,500
HOLY MOLEY.
I GOT ME AN ARMY.

196
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,708
HE'S GOT HIM AN ARMY.

197
00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:54,416
I NEED ME A KINGDOM.

198
00:08:54,416 --> 00:08:56,708
I'M NOT PRINCESS
ENOUGH YET, AM I?

199
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:59,458
- NO, HONEY, YOU'RE NOT.
- FARKLE NATION!

200
00:08:59,458 --> 00:09:03,083
( kids chanting )
FARKLE NATION,
FARKLE NATION,

201
00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:06,166
FARKLE NATION, FARKLE NATION,

202
00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:09,333
FARKLE NATION,
FARKLE NATION...

203
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:11,125
WHAT DO I NEED
TO BE PRINCESS ENOUGH?

204
00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:14,166
YOU NEED A UNICORN.

205
00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:17,250
- YOU'LL GET THAT FOR ME?
- YEAH.

206
00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:18,416
I KNOW A GUY.

207
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:29,250
WHAT HORSE?

208
00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:33,458
I WAS UP AGAIN
WITH AUGGIE LAST NIGHT.

209
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:36,583
I'M VERY TIRED.
CORY, WE NEED BREAD.

210
00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:39,750
I WANTED YOU
TO HAVE MY PRINCESS HAT

211
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:42,291
FROM WHEN I RALLIED
AGAINST GENDER STEREOTYPES.

212
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,250
I WAS GOING
TO LIGHT IT ON FIRE, BUT...

213
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,000
IT'S TOO PRETTY.

214
00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,750
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

215
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,458
BYE, HONEY.

216
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,125
<i>( typewriter clicking )</i>

217
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:56,500
Riley on TV:
<i>A vote for me is a vote</i>

218
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,958
to live happily ever after.

219
00:09:58,958 --> 00:10:00,625
I am Princess
Riley Matthews

220
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:02,416
and I approveth
this messageth.

221
00:10:03,458 --> 00:10:05,000
The campaign
of Riley Matthews

222
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,083
is not responsible
for anyone

223
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,458
who thinks a horse
is a unicorn.

224
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:15,583
WELL, AMERICA'S ALWAYS
HELD A SPECIAL PLACE

225
00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:17,291
IN ITS HEART
FOR PRINCESSES.

226
00:10:17,291 --> 00:10:19,875
PERHAPS RILEY WILL BE
THE FIRST ONE EVER VOTED IN.

227
00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:22,416
NOT AFTER EVERYONE SEES
FARKLE'S COMMERCIAL.

228
00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:24,083
PLAY IT, SHEEPHEAD.

229
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,083
"SHEEPHEAD"?

230
00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:30,208
- T-SHIRT?
- OOH!  FREE STUFF.

231
00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,250
<i>( dramatic music playing )</i>

232
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,375
Good evening,
Farkle Nation.

233
00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:41,416
It is I,
your benevolent dictator.

234
00:10:41,416 --> 00:10:42,708
As you can see,
I am kind

235
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,708
to all the creatures
of Farkle Nation.

236
00:10:44,708 --> 00:10:47,125
Our animal friends
need room to roam free,

237
00:10:47,125 --> 00:10:48,750
<i>but my opponent</i>
<i>Riley Matthews</i>

238
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:50,125
feels the proper place
for a horse

239
00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:51,208
<i>is trapped within</i>
<i>the confines</i>

240
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:52,458
<i>of her New York</i>
<i>apartment bedroom.</i>

241
00:10:52,458 --> 00:10:53,875
( nickers )

242
00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:59,583
HOW COULD YOU
DO THIS TO ME, FARKLE?

243
00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:02,000
YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE
JUST GONNA TAKE A PICTURE
OF THE HORSE.

244
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,375
I WANT TO WIN.

245
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,125
FARKLE, DON'T EVEN
TALK TO ME.

246
00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:06,875
RILEY, I...

247
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,833
OKAY, THIS CAMPAIGN
JUST GOT DIRTY.

248
00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:13,208
YAY.
( inhales sharply )

249
00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:16,833
- TEAM PRINCESS NEEDS
TO STRIKE BACK HARD.
- FINE.

250
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,416
THE TRUTH IS...
THAT HORSE HAD A DREAM.

251
00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:24,875
ALL THAT HORSE EVER WANTED
WAS TO BE A UNICORN,

252
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:27,125
AND I MADE
THAT DREAM COME TRUE.

253
00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:29,333
THAT HORSE LOVES ME!

254
00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:31,708
- ( applause )
- WHOO!

255
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,416
IT IS AMAZING
WHAT PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE.

256
00:11:35,708 --> 00:11:37,875
HE SPIES ON US,
HE'LL SPY ON ALL OF YOU!

257
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:39,875
I BET THERE'S CAMERAS
ON ALL OF YOU RIGHT NOW.

258
00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:42,000
WHAT YOU HAVE TO DECIDE
IS IF YOU WANT TO LIVE

259
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,291
IN A MAGICAL KINGDOM
OR A POLICE STATE.

260
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:48,166
HEY, CUT IT OUT!
FRIENDS DON'T ATTACK
EACH OTHER.

261
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:51,250
- NO GOING AFTER FARKLE.
- OKAY, MORAL COMPASS,

262
00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:52,833
I PROMISE WE WON'T
GO AFTER FARKLE.

263
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:55,958
GOOD.  THANK YOU.

264
00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:58,000
<i>( school bell rings )</i>

265
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:04,083
- WE'RE GOING AFTER LUCAS.
- WHY?

266
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:06,000
FARKLE'S NOTHING
WITHOUT HIS ARMY.

267
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,708
- LUCAS IS
THE COMPETITION NOW.
- I'M NOT ATTACKING LUCAS.

268
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,708
- YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO ANYTHING.
- NO.

269
00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:13,250
RILEY, THIS IS YOUR LAST
CHANCE TO BE A PRINCESS.

270
00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:15,291
EVERYBODY'S GOT
SOMETHING THEY'RE HIDING.

271
00:12:15,291 --> 00:12:18,291
EVEN LUCAS.
I'M GONNA FIND OUT
WHAT IT IS.

272
00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:21,208
MAYA, IF YOU DO...

273
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,500
- YEAH?
- ...DON'T TELL ME.

274
00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:37,833
"ONCE THERE WAS A TREE...

275
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:41,875
AND SHE LOVED
A LITTLE BOY.

276
00:12:41,875 --> 00:12:44,625
AND EVERY DAY
THE BOY WOULD COME,

277
00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:49,291
AND HE WOULD GA--
HE WOULD GA--"

278
00:12:49,291 --> 00:12:50,375
WHAT'S THIS WORD,
MOMMY?

279
00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:54,000
WHAT'S THIS WORD,
MOMMY?

280
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:58,500
MOMMY.  MOMMY.

281
00:12:58,500 --> 00:12:59,583
MOMMY.

282
00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:02,000
( gasps )

283
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:08,875
- DADDY, TRY THIS!
- OH, AUGGIE!

284
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,500
SHE DOESN'T LIKE THAT.

285
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,125
TRUST ME.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT?

286
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,000
WHY DON'T WE GATHER
ALL THESE LITTLE PILLOWS
HERE...

287
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,583
"GATHER," THAT'S THE WORD!

288
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,208
OH!  WHAT HAPPENED?

289
00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:18,958
I DREAMT
I WAS VULNERABLE
AND UNPROTECTED

290
00:13:18,958 --> 00:13:21,250
AND SOMEBODY WAS
THROWING PILLOWS AT ME.

291
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,458
( chuckles )
LET ME TELL YOU
WHY THIS IS FUNNY.

292
00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:28,708
I CAN'T DO IT, CORY.
I CAN'T GET HIM
TO GO TO BED.

293
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,833
I GIVE HIM TO YOU,
YOU GIVE HIM TO ME.

294
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:33,416
WELL, HONEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'RE TWO WORKING PARENTS.

295
00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:36,500
I KNOW, BUT WE ALWAYS
ARRANGE IT SO THAT ONE
OF US IS WITH HIM.

296
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,500
( sighs )
WHAT ARE WE MISSING HERE?

297
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,166
LOOK, HONEY,
HE'S REAL CLOSE.

298
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:45,333
YOU PUT HIM TO BED.
I GIVE YOU THIS VICTORY.

299
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,166
TOPANGA?

300
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:50,458
HONEY?

301
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:53,458
( mouths )

302
00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:13,416
"AND THE BOY WOULD
GATHER HER LEAVES

303
00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:16,000
AND PLAY
KING OF THE FOREST."

304
00:14:21,958 --> 00:14:23,000
HE'S SQUEAKY CLEAN.

305
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,291
I HAVEN'T FOUND ONE THING

306
00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,625
TO ATTACK THIS GUY ON.

307
00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,625
NOBODY AT SCHOOL HAS
A BAD THING TO SAY ABOUT HIM.

308
00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:29,458
- GOOD.
- OUR ONLY HOPE

309
00:14:29,458 --> 00:14:31,000
IS FINDING
SOMETHING PERSONAL.

310
00:14:32,458 --> 00:14:34,333
- HEY, HUCKLEBERRY.
- HI, LUCAS.

311
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:37,000
EXCUSE ME.  I'M DEALING
WITH SOMETHING PERSONAL.

312
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:39,833
HELLO.

313
00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:44,083
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY I CAN'T GO BACK
THIS WEEKEND, SIR.

314
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,833
NO, I'M NOT TRYING TO ARGUE,
BUT THIS ISN'T MY HOME.

315
00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:51,000
TEXAS IS MY HOME.

316
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,708
BUT, DAD, YOU TOLD ME
I'D BE ABLE TO SEE

317
00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:55,458
MY FRIENDS ON WEEKENDS
IF I WANTED AND I WANT
TO SEE MY FRIENDS.

318
00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:58,833
YES, I HAVE FRIENDS HERE.

319
00:14:58,833 --> 00:15:00,875
RIGHT NOW
WE'RE ALL TRYING
TO DESTROY EACH OTHER.

320
00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:04,833
I'M SORRY TOO, SIR,
BUT I WAS THE ONE
WHO DIDN'T WANT

321
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,875
TO COME TO THIS SCHOOL
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

322
00:15:08,958 --> 00:15:10,583
I HAVE TO GO NOW.

323
00:15:13,708 --> 00:15:15,333
( clears throat )

324
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:17,625
I SUPPOSE
YOU GUYS WILL BE
USING THAT AGAINST ME.

325
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,375
- I WOULD NEVER.
- QUIET, PRINCESS.

326
00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:22,625
WHAT, THAT YOU DON'T WANT
TO BE IN OUR CLASS?

327
00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:26,083
HOW COULD THAT HURT YOU,
RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT
OF OUR CLASS?

328
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:29,958
DON'T WORRY.
IT'S ONLY HER WORD
AGAINST YOURS.

329
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:33,250
UNLESS I HAVE SOME
KIND OF, LIKE, ELECTRONIC
LISTENING DEVICE AND--

330
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,333
OH, LOOK AT THAT!
BOOPITY BEEP BOOP
BOP BING!

331
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:36,875
Riley on phone:
I'm sorry too, sir,

332
00:15:36,875 --> 00:15:38,250
but I was the one
who didn't want to come

333
00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:40,625
to this school
in the first place.

334
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:42,375
LUCAS.

335
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,291
MAYA, GET RID OF IT.

336
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,458
RILEY, WE GOT HIM.

337
00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:48,458
YOU WANT
TO BE A PRINCESS?
WE GOT HIM.

338
00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:51,083
I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

339
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,166
SO DO I.

340
00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:58,333
AND NOW THE MOMENT

341
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,583
YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

342
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,208
<i>DICTATORSHIP VERSUS MONARCHY</i>

343
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,083
<i>VERSUS DEMOCRACY.</i>

344
00:16:04,083 --> 00:16:05,875
WHICH FORM OF GOVERNMENT
HAVE YOU CHOSEN?

345
00:16:05,875 --> 00:16:08,708
THE WINNER AND NEW LEADER

346
00:16:08,708 --> 00:16:12,458
OF THE SEVENTH GRADE
OF JOHN QUINCY ADAMS
MIDDLE SCHOOL IS...

347
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:14,083
-<i>( door opens ) </i>
- Maya:<i>HOLD ON!</i>

348
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,375
NOT NOW, MAYA.

349
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,083
IT HAS TO BE
RIGHT NOW, DAD.

350
00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:19,708
WE HAVE ONE MORE
VERY IMPORTANT

351
00:16:19,708 --> 00:16:21,875
CAMPAIGN COMMERCIAL THAT
EVERYBODY NEEDS TO SEE.

352
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:24,000
GIRLS, WE'VE ALREADY SEEN
THE CAMPAIGN COMMERCIALS.

353
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,458
THE VOTES ARE IN.
THIS ISN'T GONNA
CHANGE ANYTHING.

354
00:16:26,458 --> 00:16:29,000
YES, IT WILL.
THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE VOTES.

355
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,875
IT'S ABOUT LUCAS.

356
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:32,750
DID YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS, MR. FRIAR?

357
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,958
- IS THIS OKAY WITH YOU?
- YEAH, I KNOW ABOUT IT.

358
00:16:36,958 --> 00:16:39,291
IF THIS IS
THE KIND OF FRIENDS
THEY WANT TO BE...

359
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,875
IT'S OKAY WITH ME.

360
00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:49,000
YEAH, THIS IS THE KIND
OF FRIENDS WE WANT TO BE.

361
00:16:53,875 --> 00:16:55,416
<i>( birds chirping )</i>

362
00:16:55,416 --> 00:16:58,000
Hey, my name's
Asher Garcia.

363
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,708
<i>I've known Lucas Friar</i>
<i>just about all my life.</i>

364
00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:03,250
There's nobody finer
I know.

365
00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:06,000
I'm here to endorse him
for your seventh-grade
president.

366
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,083
I'm Dylan Orlando.

367
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,958
How you doing, bud?
Looks like you made
some new friends.

368
00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:14,416
They thought
it was important
we recorded this for you.

369
00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:18,208
Is there really
a... Farkle?

370
00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:23,375
And, Lucas,
after Riley and Maya went
out of their way to find us,

371
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,083
and we got
to know them a little,

372
00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:27,000
I think we can
endorse them too.

373
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:32,125
Yeah, I approve
that message.

374
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:37,708
I SECOND THAT.

375
00:17:39,583 --> 00:17:42,208
I DON'T WANNA BE
DICTATOR ANYMORE.

376
00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:44,166
DICTATORS DON'T HAVE
ANY FRIENDS.

377
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,416
THANK YOU FOR THE VIDEO.
THAT...

378
00:17:51,416 --> 00:17:53,333
WASN'T WHAT
I EXPECTED TO SEE.

379
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,625
NO MORE GOING HOME
FOR THE WEEKENDS?

380
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,000
I AM HOME.

381
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,875
HEY, MR. MATTHEWS,

382
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:07,083
AS THE NEW PRESIDENT,

383
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:09,750
I'D LIKE TO NAME FARKLE
MY VICE PRESIDENT.

384
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:12,833
( chuckles )
YOU'RE KIDDING.

385
00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:14,875
YOU MEAN IF SOMETHING
TERRIBLE HAPPENED TO YOU,

386
00:18:14,875 --> 00:18:16,750
I'D BE PRESIDENT?

387
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000
MM-HMM.

388
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:21,875
I ACCEPT.

389
00:18:26,958 --> 00:18:28,708
MAYA...

390
00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:34,875
I'D LIKE YOU TO BE
MY SECRETARY OF STATE.

391
00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,458
I'M NOBODY'S SECRETARY,
RANGER RICK.

392
00:18:37,458 --> 00:18:39,583
- HEY, HART.
- WHAT?

393
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:42,291
SECRETARY OF STATE IS
THE PRESIDENT'S AMBASSADOR
TO THE WORLD.

394
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:43,875
IT MEANS HE THINKS
HIGHLY OF YOU.

395
00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:46,000
IT ALSO MEANS
HE'S TRYING TO GET YOU
OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

396
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:49,875
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ABOUT ME?

397
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:52,083
YOU?  WHAT ABOUT YOU?

398
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,083
WHAT AM I TO YOU?

399
00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,625
WHAT ARE YOU TO ME?

400
00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:02,000
( whistles sharply )

401
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,875
<i>( theme music playing )</i>

402
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,291
TO ME...

403
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,708
YOU'RE A PRINCESS.

404
00:19:29,291 --> 00:19:30,958
LOOK AT US.

405
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,000
( nickers )

406
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,958
IF YOU GIVE
A MOUSE A COOKIE,

407
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:47,250
HE'S GOING TO ASK
FOR A GLASS OF MILK.

408
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:49,125
IF YOU GIVE
A MOUSE HIS MOMMY,

409
00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:51,416
HE'S GOING TO WANT
HIS DADDY TOO.

410
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:52,958
WHAT?

411
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,583
- HEY, GUYS.
- CORY, COME HERE.

412
00:19:57,583 --> 00:19:58,875
WHAT'S UP?

413
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:00,125
- WATCH THIS?
-<i>( door shuts )</i>

414
00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:04,166
AUGGIE, WE ARE
TWO WORKING PARENTS.

415
00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:05,958
I'M SORRY,
BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

416
00:20:05,958 --> 00:20:08,000
SOMETIMES DADDY CAN
BE HERE TO TUCK YOU IN,

417
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,458
AND SOMETIMES I CAN.

418
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,958
BUT WE ALWAYS ARRANGE IT

419
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,375
SO THAT ONE OF US IS WITH YOU.

420
00:20:14,583 --> 00:20:16,125
I DON'T GO TO SLEEP

421
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:17,375
BECAUSE I WANT BOTH OF YOU

422
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,166
TO TUCK ME IN.

423
00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:20,750
OH.

424
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000
ONE OF US ISN'T
GOOD ENOUGH, HUH?

425
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:34,375
GOOD NIGHT, PRINCESS.

426
00:20:36,875 --> 00:20:38,583
GOOD NIGHT, PRINCESS.

427
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,958
<i>( typewriter clicks )</i>