1
00:00:03,083 --> 00:00:07,250
WELL, ANOTHER YEAR WE'RE
NOT GOING TO BE CHEERLEADERS.

2
00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,875
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME
DO THESE THINGS?

3
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:12,583
POM-POMS ARE STUPID
AND PYRAMIDS MADE OF
HUMANS FREAK ME OUT.

4
00:00:12,583 --> 00:00:17,583
- AND WHAT ARE THESE?
- THESE ARE YOUR LEGS.

5
00:00:20,583 --> 00:00:22,583
HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN ANYTHING SO WHITE?

6
00:00:22,583 --> 00:00:24,875
ONE TIME WHEN I LOOKED
INTO THE SUN.

7
00:00:26,875 --> 00:00:28,750
THESE NEED TO BE PUT AWAY.

8
00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,833
WE HAVE TO GO TO DEMOLITION
RIGHT NOW AND GET CLOTHES.

9
00:00:31,833 --> 00:00:35,208
BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY'RE GONNA
FIND OUT WE TOOK THESE THINGS.

10
00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:37,875
BUT MY CURFEW'S
IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.

11
00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:41,708
BUT THEY'RE HAVING A SALE.
VINTAGE T-SHIRTS.

12
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:46,166
OOH, I DO LOVE T-SHIRTS THAT
OTHER PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY LOVED.

13
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:48,708
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW
THAT HAS TO BE HOME BY SEVEN.

14
00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:51,583
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
THEY TREAT ME LIKE A BABY.

15
00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:53,583
- WHO?
- MA-MA DA-DA.

16
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,083
IT'S TIME I WAS TREATED
LIKE THE WOMAN I AM.

17
00:00:58,083 --> 00:01:01,000
- I AM GOING TO DEMOLITION!
- THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

18
00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:05,250
- YOU'RE NOT REALLY
COMING, ARE YOU?
- NAH.

19
00:01:05,250 --> 00:01:08,416
WAIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?  I AM.

20
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:11,333
I AM OLD ENOUGH TO STAY
OUT PAST SEVEN O'CLOCK.

21
00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:15,000
WHAT'S THE DAMAGE FOR THIS,
IN YOUR PROFESSIONAL OPINION?

22
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,833
BROKEN CURFEW?
CHUMP CHANGE.

23
00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:18,458
WHOLE THING BLOWS
OVER BY WEDNESDAY.

24
00:01:18,458 --> 00:01:21,958
- WORTH IT!  LET'S DO THIS!
- GREAT!  SEE YOU WEDNESDAY.

25
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,875
<i>♪ I'M SINGING GO-O-O-O. ♪</i>

26
00:01:25,875 --> 00:01:27,833
COME ON, AUGGIE.
JUST PICK A BABYSITTER.

27
00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:29,833
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO
GO ANYWHERE?

28
00:01:29,833 --> 00:01:33,375
AREN'T YOU HAPPY WITH ME?

29
00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,500
KNOCK IT OFF,
IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY.

30
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:40,083
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GIVE YA THREE HOURS.
AND BRING ME BACK AN AUGGIE BAG.

31
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,458
OKAY, DEAL.
ALL RIGHT.

32
00:01:42,458 --> 00:01:45,458
SO HOW ABOUT SHELLY
FROM DOWN THE STREET?

33
00:01:45,458 --> 00:01:46,958
SMELLY SHELLY?

34
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:50,458
HE'S RIGHT.

35
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:51,958
HOW ABOUT ANNA STEPHONOPOLI?

36
00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:54,875
"WANNA PLAY MONOPOLY?"
NO, ANNA, I DON'T.

37
00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:56,375
OKAY?  I DON'T.

38
00:01:58,208 --> 00:02:00,875
I'M LATE, I'M LATE,
I KNOW I'M LATE!

39
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:03,458
- SEVEN MINUTES.
- SAY NOTHING.  KEEP WALKING.

40
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:06,708
NO.  THIS IS A THING.

41
00:02:06,708 --> 00:02:09,375
DEAL WITH YOUR BAD GIRL.

42
00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:14,166
- OKAY, WHERE WERE YOU?
- DEMOLITION.

43
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:17,208
IT'S AN ALTERNATIVE STORE.

44
00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:21,166
WHERE REBELS GO!

45
00:02:22,416 --> 00:02:23,708
AND I BOUGHT THIS T-SHIRT

46
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:27,500
I DON'T THINK YOU'LL
ENTIRELY APPROVE OF.  BLEH!

47
00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:31,833
EDGY.

48
00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:34,375
UH, RILEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

49
00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:37,708
I AM TOO OLD FOR A
SEVEN O'CLOCK CURFEW.

50
00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:39,000
I REJECT IT!

51
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:43,375
REJECT IT!  REJECT IT!
WON'T EVEN RESPECT IT!

52
00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:45,708
DIDN'T MAKE
THE TEAM AGAIN, HUH?

53
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:48,500
NO!

54
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,375
EVERY YEAR.

55
00:02:52,291 --> 00:02:53,833
OKAY, LOOK, RILEY,

56
00:02:53,833 --> 00:02:55,625
YOUR FATHER AND I GAVE YOU
A 7:00 CURFEW

57
00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:58,166
BECAUSE WE KNEW THAT
EVEN WHEN YOU GOT
ALL REBELLIOUS

58
00:02:58,166 --> 00:02:59,875
YOU'D STILL BE HOME
BY 7:30.

59
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,708
- WHAT?
-<i>YEAH.</i>

60
00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:03,208
SO WHEN YOU COME IN
HERE AT 7:07

61
00:03:03,208 --> 00:03:04,208
ACTING ALL DANGEROUS,
IT'S HARD--

62
00:03:04,208 --> 00:03:05,583
( laughs ) I'M SORRY.

63
00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:08,708
I CAN'T EVEN KEEP
A STRAIGHT FACE.
( laughing )

64
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,833
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

65
00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:14,083
I'M OUTTA CONTROL!

66
00:03:14,083 --> 00:03:16,166
( laughing ) MAYA,

67
00:03:16,166 --> 00:03:18,166
YOU COULDN'T KEEP HER OUT
ANY LATER THAN THAT?

68
00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:21,333
I MEAN, WHAT KIND
OF BAD INFLUENCE ARE YOU?

69
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:24,125
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I GOTTA UP MY GAME.

70
00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:26,125
THIS'LL LOOK
GREAT IN MY ROOM.

71
00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:33,625
NOW, THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!

72
00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:35,750
<i>( theme music playing )</i>

73
00:03:39,875 --> 00:03:41,875
<i>♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING ♪</i>

74
00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:44,166
<i>♪ FOR A DAY LIKE THIS TO COME ♪</i>

75
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,083
<i>♪ STRUCK LIKE LIGHTNING ♪</i>

76
00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:48,458
<i>♪ MY HEART'S BEATING</i>
<i>LIKE A DRUM ♪</i>

77
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:52,416
<i>♪ ON THE EDGE</i>
<i>OF SOMETHING WONDERFUL ♪</i>

78
00:03:52,416 --> 00:03:56,083
<i>♪ FACE TO FACE WITH CHANGES,</i>
<i>WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT? ♪</i>

79
00:03:56,083 --> 00:04:00,708
<i>♪ LIFE IS CRAZY,</i>
<i>BUT I KNOW I CAN WORK IT OUT ♪</i>

80
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:04,875
<i>♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU</i>
<i>TO LIVE IT WITH ME ♪</i>

81
00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:08,958
<i>♪ I FEEL ALL RIGHT,</i>
<i>I'M GONNA TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

82
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:12,291
<i>♪ LIGHT UP THE STARS,</i>
<i>I'VE GOT SOME PAGES TO TURN ♪</i>

83
00:04:12,291 --> 00:04:16,250
<i>♪ I'M SINGING GO-O-O,</i>
<i>GO-O-O ♪</i>

84
00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:20,416
<i>♪ OH, TAKE ON THE WORLD,</i>
<i>TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

85
00:04:20,416 --> 00:04:23,166
<i>♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD,</i>
<i>TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

86
00:04:23,166 --> 00:04:24,500
<i>♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

87
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:25,875
<i>♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD. ♪</i>

88
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:31,583
I WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
I DESERVE A LATER CURFEW.

89
00:04:31,583 --> 00:04:33,416
OKAY, FINE,
BUT I'M YOUR TEACHER,

90
00:04:33,416 --> 00:04:35,250
AND I WANT YOU
TO GET PROPER REST.

91
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,000
I DON'T WANT YOUR
SCHOOLWORK TO SUFFER.

92
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,333
AND I'M YOUR ATTORNEY,

93
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:42,000
SO, PLEASE STATE YOUR CASE,
MS. MATTHEWS.

94
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,000
I SUBMIT TO THE COURT,
10:00.

95
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,875
THE COURT LAUGHS
IN YOUR FACE.

96
00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:50,375
THE LEGAL SYSTEM IS A JOKE!

97
00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:52,208
YOUR NEW CURFEW
IS 8:00.

98
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,208
GOD BLESS AMERICA!

99
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:58,708
- I WANT A LATER CURFEW TOO.
- WHY?

100
00:04:58,708 --> 00:05:01,708
- WHERE DO YOU WANT
TO GO AT NIGHT?
- WHEREVER YOU GO.

101
00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,875
MMM!

102
00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:09,416
DOES THAT MEAN I CAN
COME TO YOUR "NANOVERSARY"?

103
00:05:09,416 --> 00:05:12,583
SORRY, HONEY, MOMMY AND DADDY
HAVEN'T BEEN ON A DATE
FOR, LIKE--

104
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:13,875
THREE WEEKS AND FOUR DAYS.

105
00:05:20,291 --> 00:05:24,208
GUYS, GUYS.
IT'S NOT JUST THE CURFEW.

106
00:05:24,208 --> 00:05:26,375
I WANT YOU TO THINK OF ME
AS MORE OF A GROWN-UP.

107
00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,875
- I HAVE AN IDEA.
- DEFINE "GROWN-UP."

108
00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:31,875
I CAN GO BUY T-SHIRTS
WHENEVER I WANT.

109
00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:33,958
AND HOW DO YOU MAKE
THE MONEY TO DO THAT?

110
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,375
I DON'T HAVE TO.
I'M A KID.

111
00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:39,583
RILEY, GROWN-UPS HAVE
RESPONSIBILITIES.

112
00:05:39,583 --> 00:05:41,875
IDEA IDEA IDEA!
IDEA IDEA IDEA!

113
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,875
WHAT'S THE MATTER, AUGGIE?

114
00:05:43,875 --> 00:05:46,375
IS NO ONE BELIEVING
THAT THE LITTLE KID
COULD POSSIBLY HAVE AN IDEA

115
00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:48,416
ABOUT HOW WE COULD
RAISE OUR OLDER CHILD?

116
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:51,708
LET RILEY BE MY BABYSITTER.

117
00:05:51,708 --> 00:05:53,416
HOLY MOLY!

118
00:05:54,416 --> 00:05:58,583
ALL HAIL AUGUST MATTHEWS!
YEAH!

119
00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:02,708
- KING OF APARTMENT 26!
- LONG LIVE ME!

120
00:06:02,708 --> 00:06:04,583
WHOO!

121
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:06,708
AUGGIE, YOU THINK
YOUR SISTER'S READY

122
00:06:06,708 --> 00:06:08,333
FOR THAT KIND
OF RESPONSIBILITY?

123
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:10,458
I WOULD PUT MY LIFE
IN HER HANDS.

124
00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:14,958
AWW, AUGGIE, YOU REALLY
WANT ME TO BABYSIT YOU?

125
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,458
YES.  I TRUST YOU.

126
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:17,583
CATCH ME!

127
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:24,958
- TEN BUCKS AN HOUR.
- THE KING'S ON THE FLOOR.

128
00:06:24,958 --> 00:06:27,375
FIVE BUCKS AN HOUR.

129
00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:28,625
HEY, AUGGIE,

130
00:06:28,625 --> 00:06:30,416
YOU REALLY WANT RILEY
TO BE YOUR BABYSITTER?

131
00:06:30,416 --> 00:06:32,583
RILEY MAKES ME SMILEY.

132
00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:40,291
SO, HOW'D YOU GET MOMMY
TO GO OUT WITH YOU?

133
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,208
WE'RE MARRIED.
SHE HAS TO.

134
00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:45,000
SHOULD I GET
MARRIED SOMEDAY?

135
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,083
IF YOU FIND SOMEBODY
LIKE MOMMY.

136
00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:51,583
- WHAT ABOUT MRS. DUCKSBERRY?
- YOUR KINDERGARTEN TEACHER?

137
00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:53,208
HUBBA HUBBA.

138
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,500
HOW'S THE TIE COMING ALONG?

139
00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,458
ONE BUNNY EAR GOES
OVER THE OTHER BUNNY EAR.

140
00:07:00,458 --> 00:07:05,250
- HOW DO I LOOK?
- LIKE A SHOE.

141
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,875
GREAT.
MAMA LOVES SHOES.

142
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:13,583
- WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?
- WOW.

143
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:15,875
- YOU LOOK WOW.
- WOW IS GOOD?

144
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:19,250
WOW'S AMAZING.
WHEN AM I GONNA LOOK WOW?

145
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:21,583
OH, HONEY, YOU ALREADY DO.

146
00:07:23,708 --> 00:07:27,708
YEAH, BUT NOT WITH THE BAM!
AND THE BOOM!

147
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,333
AND THE... YOU KNOW.

148
00:07:32,708 --> 00:07:35,208
DADDY'S GOING TO
LOVE THE WAY YOU LOOK.

149
00:07:35,208 --> 00:07:36,583
THANK YOU, HONEY.

150
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,458
BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW
ONE OF THE REASONS I
MARRIED YOUR FATHER?

151
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,208
- YEAH.
- HE LOVES ME
NO MATTER HOW I LOOK.

152
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,583
( chuckles )

153
00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:51,416
- WOW.
- WOW.

154
00:07:51,416 --> 00:07:56,333
- AND BAM, BOOM!
- Cory:<i>ABSOLUTELY.</i>

155
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:58,750
YOU LOOK STUNNING.

156
00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:02,208
- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, TOPANGA.
- YOU TOO, CORY.

157
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:08,166
- WHAT'S UP WITH THE, UH--
- OH, AUGGIE DID IT.

158
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:13,166
- IT'S MAGNIFICENT.
- NO GOING TO MY ROOM UNTIL
I TELL YOU, OKAY, RILEY?

159
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:15,583
DEAL.

160
00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:18,583
AW, LOOK AT YOU TWO,
ALL DRESSED UP.

161
00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:20,458
- GOING OUT FOR DINNER?
- BA BA SUSHI.

162
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,375
OOH, YOU HIPSTER!

163
00:08:22,375 --> 00:08:26,125
AND THEN A HORSE-DRAWN
CARRIAGE AND A PLAY.

164
00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:28,333
OOH, YOU 80-YEAR-OLD MAN.

165
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:32,083
AND THEN JAZZ NIGHT
AT MUDBONE.

166
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:34,291
NOW WE'RE PLAYIN'!

167
00:08:34,291 --> 00:08:35,833
THAT'S WHY I MARRIED HIM.

168
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:37,833
YEAH, WE'RE
SOPHISTICATED ADULTS.

169
00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:39,750
WITH A SOPHISTICATED
BABYSITTER, RIGHT?

170
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:42,583
- THE KID'S IN GOOD HANDS.
- WE'RE SURE HE IS.

171
00:08:42,583 --> 00:08:45,083
- WE TRUST YOU COMPLETELY.
- GOOD NIGHT.

172
00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:51,833
YEAH, I DON'T BELIEVE
THIS FOR A SECOND.

173
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:55,708
- I DON'T BLAME YA!
- YEAH, LET'S TALK.

174
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:59,250
MAN, YOU JUST CAN'T GET
OUT OF HERE WITHOUT THE
LIFE LESSON THING, CAN YA?

175
00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:01,625
OH, PLEASE, LIKE I HAD
SOMETHING PLANNED.

176
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:02,958
( laughs )

177
00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:04,833
SAY HELLO TO YOUR
NEW BEST FRIEND.

178
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,000
HELLO, EGG.

179
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,708
YOU GONNA
INTRODUCE US, RILEY?

180
00:09:09,708 --> 00:09:11,708
OKAY, UM, MOM,

181
00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:14,416
THIS IS AMANDA McSCRAMBLEFACE.

182
00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:16,875
SHE IS LOVELY.

183
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,875
OH, MOM, YOU, TOO?

184
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:23,625
- YEAH, I'M WITH HIM.
- DRAW A FACE ON HER.

185
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:28,000
OKAY, WE'RE DOING THE WHOLE
"TAKE CARE OF AN EGG" THING?

186
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,333
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THIS.

187
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:31,125
NOT THE WAY
WE'RE GONNA DO IT.

188
00:09:31,125 --> 00:09:32,875
YEAH, THERE'S
A BIG TWIST AT THE END.

189
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:36,458
SO, UH, TELL US
ABOUT YOUR NEW FRIEND, RILEY.

190
00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:38,708
WHAT ARE HER HOPES,
WHAT ARE HER DREAMS?

191
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,708
AMANDA MAKES
FRIENDS VERY EASILY.

192
00:09:41,708 --> 00:09:44,000
EVERYBODY LIKES HER.
SHE'S A GOOD EGG.

193
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:48,291
WE'RE GOING TO GO BACKPACKING
THROUGH EUROPE SOMEDAY.

194
00:09:48,291 --> 00:09:52,250
WOW.  OKAY, WELL, BEFORE
YOU DO, MAY I HOLD HER?

195
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:55,083
SURE.
SHE'S A PEOPLE PERSON.

196
00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:56,583
( in baby-talk )
HI, WILEY'S MOM.

197
00:09:56,583 --> 00:09:59,875
YOU WOOK WOW.

198
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:06,583
THANK YOU, AMANDA.
THAT'S VERY SWEET.

199
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:07,583
DO IT.

200
00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:14,083
( in normal voice )
NO!  WHAT IS THE POINT
OF THIS HORRIBLE LESSON?

201
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:17,875
THIS IS AN EGG
YOU KNEW FOR A MINUTE.

202
00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:20,708
WE'RE GIVING YOU
RESPONSIBILITY
FOR OUR CHILD.

203
00:10:20,708 --> 00:10:24,166
WE ALL LOVE HIM.
DON'T DROP HIM.

204
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,375
- SO, CLEAN AMANDA UP
AND HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!
- BYE!

205
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,583
YOU'RE MY REAL BROTHER!

206
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:37,083
I CAN'T BREATHE!

207
00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:42,875
- OKAY!  I FED YA.
- PBJ!

208
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:46,083
- I PAJAMA'D YA.
- PJ!

209
00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:49,416
- I SENT YA TO THE BATHROOM.
- P!

210
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,875
SO, I GET
TO SEE YOUR ROOM NOW?

211
00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:54,000
IT'LL 'SPLODE YOUR BRAIN!

212
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,250
- ( intercom buzzes )
- Maya:<i>What up, weirdoes?</i>

213
00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:59,708
- MAYA!
- MAYA?

214
00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:02,375
EVERY BABYSITTER NEEDS
A BABYSITTER'S BEST FRIEND.

215
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:06,250
- COME ON UP!
- SHE SHOULDN'T BE HERE
ON OUR NIGHT.

216
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,375
WHY CAN'T IT BE
OUR NIGHT WITH MAYA?

217
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:10,208
I HAVEN'T SHOWED YOU MY ROOM.

218
00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:12,000
- "RED PLANET DIARIES!"
- OOH!

219
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,583
TONIGHT'S THE SEASON FINALE!

220
00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:16,708
<i>( slow music plays on TV )</i>

221
00:11:16,708 --> 00:11:19,500
♪ OUT HERE IN SPACE ♪

222
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,625
♪ I KISS YOUR GREEN FACE ♪

223
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:27,833
♪ BUT IT FEELS LIKE
YOU'RE LIGHT YEARS AWAY. ♪

224
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:30,708
Narrator:<i>Previously,</i>
<i>on "Red Planet Diaries"...</i>

225
00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:33,166
Female voice:<i>Oh, Blarg.</i>
<i>I know I'm from Earth</i>

226
00:11:33,166 --> 00:11:35,291
<i>and not used to your</i>
<i>Martian customs yet,</i>

227
00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:39,125
<i>but I think I'm in love</i>
<i>with your other head.</i>

228
00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:41,000
Male voice:
<i>But what's he have</i>
<i>that I don't have?</i>

229
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,458
Male voice #2:
<i>Uh, I'm right here.</i>

230
00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:47,500
I'M GOING TO MY ROOM NOW.
RILEY, ARE YOU COMING?

231
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,000
YEAH YEAH,
JUST GIMME A SEC.

232
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:14,125
WHERE'S THE TRAIN?
WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR DINNER.

233
00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:17,875
Man over PA:
<i>...broken down,</i>
<i>all trains half hour late.</i>

234
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:19,708
- THANK YOU.
- PA:<i>Thank you.</i>

235
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,000
MAYBE WE CAN GET A CAB?

236
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,708
NOPE.

237
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,416
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO MISS OUR CARRIAGE RIDE.

238
00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:36,458
NO HORSEYS?
BUT IT'S OUR "NANOVERSARY."

239
00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:37,875
WE'VE BEEN
MARRIED FIFTEEN YEARS.

240
00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:40,708
THAT'S THE LONGEST ANYONE HAS
EVER BEEN MARRIED TO A TOPANGA.

241
00:12:42,708 --> 00:12:45,875
I WANTED TO GIVE YOU
A NIGHT OF ROMANCE AND MUSIC.

242
00:12:45,875 --> 00:12:49,375
<i>( synthesizer music playing )</i>

243
00:13:00,708 --> 00:13:03,416
THAT'S REALLY VERY GOOD.

244
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,708
I APPRECIATE IT.

245
00:13:05,708 --> 00:13:09,333
YOU SHOULD CONSIDER
DOING THIS FOR A LIVING.

246
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:13,000
THANK YOU FOR
CHANGING MY LIFE.

247
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,500
IT'S REALLY A BEAUTIFUL SONG.
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?

248
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:18,166
- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- TOPANGA.

249
00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:21,833
- MY NAME'S CORY.
- I'M CALLING IT "TOPANGA."

250
00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:24,583
THANK YOU.
( chuckles )

251
00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:29,583
Female voice:
<i>Oh, Blarg's other head,</i>

252
00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:32,458
<i>if only we could</i>
<i>run off together, without...</i>

253
00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:36,250
<i>- You know...</i>
<i>- </i>Male voice on TV:
<i>Actually, there is a way.</i>

254
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,583
<i>( woman gasps )</i>
<i>What is it?!</i>

255
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,583
- Both: WHAT IS IT?
-<i>( TV clicks off )</i>

256
00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:42,250
- Both: NO!
- NO MORE TV!

257
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:45,250
- AUGGIE, WE WERE WATCHING THAT.
- GIVE IT BACK, RUNT!

258
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:46,416
YOU'RE A RUNT!

259
00:13:46,416 --> 00:13:49,708
AND YOU'RE THE WORST BABYSITTER
IN THE WORLD!

260
00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:54,375
YOU SHOULDN'T WATCH TV
WHEN YOU BABYSIT YOUR BROTHER!

261
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:58,500
AUGGIE, WHERE ARE
YOU GOING WITH THAT?

262
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:02,458
I'M GOING TO THROW IT
OUT THE WINDOW!

263
00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:04,583
- YOU WOULDN'T DARE.
- I WILL DO IT!

264
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:06,583
I WILL DO IT, LADY!

265
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,416
AWW, LOOK AT THOSE TWO.

266
00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:13,583
<i>YOU THINK IT'S THEIR</i>
<i>"NANOVERSARY"?</i>

267
00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:15,458
THINK SHE KISSED HIM
UP AGAINST THE LOCKERS

268
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:16,875
WHILE THEY WERE
HANDCUFFED TOGETHER?

269
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:31,500
HEH, WELL, THAT
WOULD MAKE THEM A
VERY EXCITING COUPLE.

270
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,833
OH, THEY ARE.
AND THEN SHE PROPOSED TO HIM.

271
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,125
AT THEIR GRADUATION.

272
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,958
WILL YOU MARRY ME?

273
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,500
AND HE WAS VERY SMART
AND SAID YES.

274
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,166
AND THEY LIVED
HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

275
00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:49,291
UNTIL THEIR
FIFTEENTH ANNIVERSARY.

276
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:50,875
WHEN THE SUBWAY
DIDN'T COME.

277
00:14:50,875 --> 00:14:54,333
EXCEPT GOOD THINGS COME
WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

278
00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:56,875
LIKE MAYBE I GOT THAT BRACELET
YOU HAD YOUR EYE ON
IN MY POCKET.

279
00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:59,708
- REALLY?
- NO.

280
00:14:59,708 --> 00:15:01,375
RING MADE OF CANDY.

281
00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:06,583
CORY?

282
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:10,416
TOPANGA MATTHEWS,
WILL YOU MARRY ME AGAIN?

283
00:15:10,416 --> 00:15:13,833
ANYTIME YOU WANT.

284
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:15,583
MMM! MMM!

285
00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:16,583
BLUE RASPBERRY!

286
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
- OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU.

287
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,375
WHO NEEDS A PLAY?
WE'RE IN OUR OWN.

288
00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:26,875
- ( chuckles )
- THE ONLY THING WE
DIDN'T GET WAS--

289
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:28,083
HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE.

290
00:15:30,708 --> 00:15:33,958
EXCUSE ME.  UM, IT'S OUR
ANNIVERSARY AND WE'RE WEIRD.

291
00:15:33,958 --> 00:15:36,000
COULD I BORROW
YOUR HORSEY FOR A MINUTE?

292
00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,708
THANK YOU.

293
00:15:39,708 --> 00:15:42,583
- M'LADY?
- DON'T MIND IF I DO.

294
00:15:47,583 --> 00:15:51,000
HO!  OKAY OKAY!  OKAY!

295
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,875
THANK YOU.  THANK YOU.

296
00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:57,375
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT
COULD MAKE THIS NIGHT BETTER.

297
00:15:57,375 --> 00:16:00,375
- YOU MISS THE KIDS?
- I DO.

298
00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:02,875
I DO TOO.

299
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:04,416
LET'S GO HOME AND SPY ON 'EM!

300
00:16:04,416 --> 00:16:07,250
SHOULDN'T WE TRUST
RILEY AND AUGGIE THAT
NOTHING WILL GO WRONG?

301
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,416
( both laugh loudly )

302
00:16:09,416 --> 00:16:10,875
LET'S GO HOME
AND SPY ON THE KIDS!

303
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:20,750
Auggie:
<i>YOU'RE THE WORST</i>
<i>BABYSITTER IN THE WORLD!</i>

304
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:22,166
Riley:
<i>YOU'RE THE WORST</i>
<i>BABY IN THE WORLD!</i>

305
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:24,000
- SO WE JUMP IN NOW?
- NO, WE HAVE FAITH THAT

306
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,708
SHE'S GONNA HANDLE THIS LIKE
A MATURE ADULT, LIKE WE ARE.

307
00:16:27,708 --> 00:16:29,333
Maya:
YOU TURNED IT OFF
AT THE BEST PART.

308
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:32,583
EASY THERE,
PUT THE REMOTE DOWN
NICE AND EASY

309
00:16:32,583 --> 00:16:36,583
- AND NOBODY GETS HURT, BUDDY.
- YOU'RE NOT MY BUDDY.

310
00:16:36,583 --> 00:16:39,750
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE.

311
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:42,500
AUGGIE, WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH YOU?

312
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,583
YOU'RE WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH ME.

313
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:47,583
YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYA?
YOU CAN HAVE RILEY.

314
00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:50,750
SHE'D RATHER BE WITH YOU ANYWAY.
SHE'S YOUR SISTER NOW.

315
00:16:52,458 --> 00:16:55,125
- AUGGIE!
- THIS IS THE WORST NIGHT EVER!

316
00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:08,458
- HI, BUDDY.
- HAVING FUN?

317
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:10,750
ARE YOU HOME?

318
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:12,708
WHY ARE YOU NOT FIXING THIS?

319
00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:16,083
BECAUSE, AUGGIE, RILEY
WANTS RESPONSIBILITY.

320
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:17,958
AND IT'S IMPORTANT
TO LET HER TRY.

321
00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:19,958
SHE HAS FAILED.

322
00:17:19,958 --> 00:17:22,458
WE BELIEVE
THAT SHE WON'T FAIL.

323
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,458
TOO LATE.
GO YELL AT HER.

324
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:26,166
YOU'RE REALLY
MAD AT HER, HUH?

325
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,375
I GAVE HER TO MAYA,

326
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:29,458
BECAUSE SHE'S BAD
BABYSITTER RILEY.

327
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:33,125
I KNOW THAT DOESN'T RHYME,
BUT I'M JUST SO MAD!

328
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:36,250
AUGGIE, IT MAY
SEEM BAD RIGHT NOW,

329
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:39,416
BUT I'LL MAKE YOU A BET--
YOU'RE GONNA WANT HER BACK.

330
00:17:39,416 --> 00:17:42,416
FINE.  YOU LOSE,
YOU MAKE ME A BROTHER.

331
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:47,083
- DEAL.
- ( laughs ) HOLD ON.

332
00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:50,583
FIRST WE'RE GONNA GIVE
HER THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE
A GOOD BABYSITTER, OKAY?

333
00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:53,083
THEN BROTHER?

334
00:17:53,083 --> 00:17:55,375
BROTHER ANYWAY.

335
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,625
NOW WE'LL NEVER KNOW
IF ASHLEY THE ASTRONAUT ENDS UP

336
00:17:58,625 --> 00:18:01,500
WITH BLARG
OR BLARG'S OTHER HEAD.

337
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,458
GEE, IF ONLY SOMETHING
EXISTED

338
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:07,250
WHERE WE COULD TYPE IN
A FEW WORDS AND...

339
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,333
IT'S NOT THE SAME!

340
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:13,875
WE WERE REALLY LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS NIGHT
AND AUGGIE RUINED IT.

341
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:17,083
I THINK AUGGIE COULD SAY THE
SAME THING ABOUT ME, RILEY.

342
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:19,416
HE JUST WANTED
TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU.

343
00:18:19,416 --> 00:18:21,083
YOU'RE REALLY LUCKY
TO HAVE THAT.

344
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:24,416
I KNOW.  IT'S LIKE WE DON'T
PAY ATTENTION TO THE PEOPLE

345
00:18:24,416 --> 00:18:26,708
WHO REALLY CARE ABOUT US.

346
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:28,875
LADIES!

347
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,166
GET LOST, FARKLE, WE CAN'T
PAY ATTENTION TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

348
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:34,166
BUT I FEEL LIKE WHEN
WE DON'T HAVE SCHOOL
I'M NOT EVEN PART OF THE STORY.

349
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:38,458
THERE'S SOMEONE WHO REALLY
CARES ABOUT ME,

350
00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:41,583
AND I'M NOT LETTING HIM KNOW
THAT I CARE ABOUT HIM TOO.

351
00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:44,458
OOH, MAYBE I AM
PART OF THE STORY.

352
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:47,958
AND I REALLY
LOVE THE LITTLE GUY.

353
00:18:47,958 --> 00:18:51,250
AND ALL HE WANTED TO DO
WAS SHOW ME HIS ROOM.

354
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,875
HOW DID YOU KNOW?

355
00:18:56,583 --> 00:18:58,208
I GOTTA GO TALK TO AUGGIE.

356
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,166
WELL WELL, ALONE AT LAST.

357
00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:06,000
YES, YOU ARE.

358
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:10,708
YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.

359
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:17,250
OKAY, MR. GOOGLY.
YOU'RE MY SISTER NOW.

360
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:21,250
Riley:
<i>BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO</i>
<i>GIVE RILEY ONE MORE CHANCE?</i>

361
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:23,291
NO, IT'S YOU AND ME!

362
00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:26,416
OH, IT'S YOU.

363
00:19:28,708 --> 00:19:31,208
I WENT INTO YOUR ROOM
LOOKING FOR YOU.

364
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:35,166
I SAW WHAT YOU DID.
I'M SO SORRY.

365
00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:37,458
IT COULD'VE BEEN
THE BEST NIGHT EVER.

366
00:19:37,458 --> 00:19:40,458
- MAYBE IT STILL CAN BE.
- HOW?

367
00:19:49,833 --> 00:19:51,458
ARRGH!

368
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:54,125
HOW DID YOU DO THIS?!

369
00:19:54,125 --> 00:19:55,291
DEMOLITION.

370
00:19:55,291 --> 00:19:57,708
OPEN LATE TONIGHT
AND I HAVE NO CURFEW AT ALL.

371
00:19:57,708 --> 00:20:00,458
NOW, WHERE'S ALL
YOUR TREASURE, MATEY?

372
00:20:00,458 --> 00:20:02,750
WE'RE BEING BOARDED
BY BLONDEBEARD!

373
00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:08,583
( grunting )

374
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,000
OH!

375
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,458
THANKS FOR LETTING ME
STICK AROUND TONIGHT, AUGGIE.

376
00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:15,416
YOU'RE NOT SUCH A BAD PIRATE.

377
00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:20,708
SO, CAN WE KEEP HER?

378
00:20:20,708 --> 00:20:23,583
YEAH. BUT YOU AND ME ARE
BROTHER AND SISTER AGAIN.

379
00:20:25,416 --> 00:20:28,291
- THEN WHO AM I?
- YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO WALKS THE PLANK!

380
00:20:28,291 --> 00:20:30,250
I CAN'T SWIM!

381
00:20:34,291 --> 00:20:35,458
YOU WIN.

382
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:39,333
- NO BROTHER?
- NO.  I'M THE BROTHER.

383
00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:45,333
- HA!
- HA!  HA!

384
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:48,416
BEST ANNIVERSARY NIGHT EVER.

385
00:20:48,416 --> 00:20:50,708
YOU, ME AND THE KIDS.

386
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:53,250
AND FARKLE.

387
00:20:54,708 --> 00:20:57,291
DO IT.

388
00:20:57,291 --> 00:20:59,750
( gasps )
IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

389
00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:12,125
- SMELLS GOOD.
- WHAT ARE WE HAVING?

390
00:21:12,125 --> 00:21:15,583
CORY'S BREAKFAST SPECIAL--
SCRAMBLED EGGS!

391
00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:17,125
SERIOUSLY?

392
00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:20,166
YOU COOKED THE ENTIRE
McSCRAMBLEFACE FAMILY?

393
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:23,500
YEAH.  YUM YUM.
EAT 'EM UP.

394
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,833
THAT WAS AMANDA'S BEST FRIEND.

395
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:29,583
SHE USED TO COME IN THROUGH
HER BEDROOM WINDOW EVERY NIGHT,

396
00:21:29,583 --> 00:21:31,875
AND THEY'D TALK FOR HOURS.

397
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,375
OKAY.

398
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:38,458
THAT WAS MAMA McSCRAMBLEFACE.

399
00:21:38,458 --> 00:21:40,625
<i>SHE USED TO LOOK WOW.</i>

400
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,458
WHO'D I GET?

401
00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:50,500
YOU GOT BABY BROTHER
McSCRAMBLEFACE.

402
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:52,083
HE WAS MY FAVORITE.

403
00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:54,583
YOU MONSTER.

404
00:21:56,291 --> 00:21:58,291
- OUT FOR PANCAKES?
- ( all cheer )