1
00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:07,166
WHERE'S CHELSEA?
WHY ISN'T SHE BACK YET?
2
00:00:07,166 --> 00:00:09,708
HONEY, I'M SURE FARKLE
TOOK VERY GOOD CARE OF HER.
3
00:00:09,708 --> 00:00:11,208
HEY, MATTHEWS,
WHY ARE YOU MAKING US
4
00:00:11,208 --> 00:00:12,458
DO THE WHOLE CLASS-MASCOT THING
ANYWAY?
5
00:00:12,458 --> 00:00:14,166
DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME, MAYA.
6
00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:17,208
EVERYBODY GOT THE CHANCE
TO TAKE CHELSEA HOME FOR A WEEK
7
00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:20,000
AND NOW IT'S MY TURN
AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
8
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,208
GOOD, BECAUSE IF YOU
BRING HER BACK SAFELY,
9
00:00:22,208 --> 00:00:25,125
CHELSEA WILL HAVE SURVIVED
THE WHOLE CLASS.
10
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,083
THEN IT'S AS GOOD AS DONE.
11
00:00:27,083 --> 00:00:29,750
YOU KNOW I AM FANTASTIC
WITH PETS.
12
00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:31,625
MR. PUFFLES.
13
00:00:31,625 --> 00:00:34,208
THAT WAS SAD.
14
00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:38,291
IT'S CHELSEA!
IT IS.
15
00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:40,583
NICE JOB, FARKLE.
16
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:43,125
HERE'S YOUR STICKER.
17
00:00:44,458 --> 00:00:46,500
CHELSEA!
18
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:49,291
ARE YOU READY TO COME
TO OUR HOUSE?
19
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:50,583
HEY, FARKLE,
20
00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:52,625
DID YOU GO
TO PHIL'S FISH STORE?
21
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,166
WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT,
AUGGIE?
22
00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:56,000
WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WHY?
23
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,208
ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR FARKLE.
24
00:00:58,208 --> 00:01:00,500
THERE'S A NEW CASTLE
IN THE BOWL.
25
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,166
VERY IMPRESSIVE, AUGGIE.
26
00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:05,166
YEAH, HE WATCHES "OWL DETECTIVE"
EVERY DAY.
27
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,958
HE ALWAYS KNOWS WHODUNNIT.
28
00:01:06,958 --> 00:01:09,958
( sing-song )
HOOOO-DUNNIT!
29
00:01:09,958 --> 00:01:11,833
EVERY DAY.
30
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:13,833
OKAY, RILEY,
SHE'S ALL YOURS.
31
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:16,083
NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS FEED HER ONCE A DAY
32
00:01:16,083 --> 00:01:18,625
AND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
YOU THROW HER A COMPLIMENT.
33
00:01:18,625 --> 00:01:20,458
YOU ARE TALKING
ABOUT THE FISH, RIGHT?
34
00:01:20,458 --> 00:01:22,375
NO.
35
00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:26,250
ALL RIGHT, IS SHE
ALL READY TO GO, AUGGIE?
36
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:28,583
ALL FED AND READY TO GO.
37
00:01:28,583 --> 00:01:31,125
RILEY, HERE'S CHELSEA.
38
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,083
SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.
39
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,333
DON'T BLOW THIS.
40
00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:38,125
THIS FISH IS IN GOOD HANDS.
41
00:01:38,125 --> 00:01:40,583
LET ME JUST GET
OUR FIRST PICTURE TOGETHER.
42
00:01:40,583 --> 00:01:41,875
( clicks )
43
00:01:41,875 --> 00:01:43,458
UM...
44
00:01:43,458 --> 00:01:45,083
WHAT?
45
00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:47,250
LET ME TAKE ANOTHER ONE.
CHELSEA'S UPSIDE-DOWN.
46
00:01:47,250 --> 00:01:48,333
OH, BOY.
47
00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,875
"DAY ONE, I DIED!"
48
00:01:50,875 --> 00:01:54,208
- ( all gasping )
- CHELSEA!
49
00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:56,458
NO, I'LL CRY FOR YOU LATER.
50
00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:58,500
RIGHT NOW THERE'S A MYSTERY
TO BE SOLVED.
51
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,583
WHAT MYSTERY, AUGGIE?
I KILLED THE FISH.
52
00:02:01,583 --> 00:02:03,583
NO, YOU DID NOT
KILL THIS FISH.
53
00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:06,458
THIS FISH WAS THE VICTIM
OF FOUL PLAY.
54
00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:11,291
SOMEBODY HERE
IS RESPONSIBLE.
55
00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:13,458
THE ONLY QUESTION IS...
56
00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:14,750
OH, NO.
57
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:18,333
All:
...HOOOOO-DUNNIT?!
58
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,208
( theme music playing )
59
00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:27,208
♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING ♪
60
00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:29,000
♪ FOR A DAY LIKE THIS TO COME ♪
61
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,166
♪ STRUCK LIKE LIGHTNING ♪
62
00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:33,208
♪ MY HEART'S BEATING
LIKE A DRUM ♪
63
00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:36,208
♪ ON THE EDGE OF SOMETHING ♪
64
00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:37,375
♪ WONDERFUL ♪
65
00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:40,166
♪ FACE TO FACE
WITH CHANGES ♪
66
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:41,833
♪ WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT? ♪
67
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,583
♪ LIFE IS CRAZY ♪
68
00:02:43,583 --> 00:02:45,583
♪ BUT I KNOW
I CAN WORK IT OUT ♪
69
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:49,875
♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU
TO LIVE IT WITH ME ♪
70
00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:54,000
♪ I FEEL ALL RIGHT,
I'M GONNA TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪
71
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,083
♪ LIGHT UP THE STARS,
I'VE GOT SOME PAGES TO TURN ♪
72
00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:59,625
♪ I'M SINGING, OH OH OH ♪
73
00:02:59,625 --> 00:03:02,291
♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
74
00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:05,375
♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD,
TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪
75
00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:07,625
♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD,
TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪
76
00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:11,000
♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD,
TAKE ON THE WORLD. ♪
77
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:15,416
( noir music playing )
78
00:03:20,416 --> 00:03:24,875
THE DAME WAS 39 lbs
OF BLUE-EYED DYNAMITE.
79
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:28,875
T.N.T.-- TEETH...
80
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,458
AND TEETH.
81
00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:34,875
( howling, panting )
82
00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:38,375
THEY CALL HER "LADY A"
83
00:03:38,375 --> 00:03:41,458
BECAUSE SHE WRITES
HER "A"s GOOD.
84
00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:45,958
LET'S GO OVER THE SUSPECT LIST,
DOLL FACE.
85
00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:48,583
I LIKE WHEN SHE CALLS ME
DOLL FACE.
86
00:03:48,583 --> 00:03:51,416
MAKES ME FEEL DAINTY.
87
00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:55,125
CHELSEA WAS KAPUT,
BELLY UP.
88
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:57,458
OF THIS,
THERE IS NO QUESTION.
89
00:03:57,458 --> 00:03:59,583
THE ONLY QUESTION WAS--
90
00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:01,708
I WANT TO DO THIS WITH YOU!
91
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,000
FINE, ON THREE.
92
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,250
Both:
ONE--
93
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:08,166
HOOOO-DUNNIT!
94
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:10,625
WHY DO I ALWAYS LET YOU
GET AWAY WITH THIS?
95
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,125
BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE BEST
BABY TEETH IN THE BUSINESS.
96
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:22,583
HAVE MY OWL DETECTIVES
CRACKED THE CASE?
97
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:24,875
THE OTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE.
98
00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:27,458
SOME CALL HER TOPANGA.
99
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:30,208
I CALL HER MOMMY.
100
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:33,208
- AVA?
- TOPANGA?
101
00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:36,083
THESE TWO ARE ICIER
THAN TWO POPSICLES...
102
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:39,333
IN ALASKA
IN THE WINTER
103
00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:41,333
THAT DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER.
104
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:43,500
I BROUGHT
YOUR FAVORITE.
105
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,458
Both:
GRAHAM CRACKERS!
106
00:04:56,291 --> 00:04:58,166
MAYA.
107
00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:00,625
- PHIL.
- OH, YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?
108
00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:02,708
ACTUALLY, I'M FAMILIAR
WITH YOUR WHOLE CLASS.
109
00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:05,875
OH, DO YOU HAVE A SON
OR DAUGHTER AT JOHN Q. ADAMS?
110
00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:09,083
WELL, YOU MIGHT SAY
I HAVE A WHOLE SCHOOL OF KIDS
AT JOHN Q. ADAMS.
111
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:12,750
WHAT A RANDOM
AND CURIOUS COMMENT TO MAKE,
"FISH STORE PHIL."
112
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:15,833
- OH, SHE DOESN'T--
- NO NO, THIS ONE'S
VERY TRUSTING AND SENSITIVE.
113
00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:17,708
OOH, I LIKE PEOPLE
LIKE THAT.
114
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,416
DO YOU GOT YOUR OWN DEBIT CARD,
YOUNG LADY?
115
00:05:19,416 --> 00:05:21,000
PHIL.
116
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,125
SORRY.
117
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:27,250
IT'S OUR CLASS GOLDFISH,
CHELSEA.
118
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:29,000
SHE MADE IT
THROUGH THE WHOLE YEAR,
119
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,833
RIGHT UP UNTIL IT WAS MY TURN
TO TAKE HER HOME.
120
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,875
AND THEN SHE--
121
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,333
AND THEN SHE--
IS SHE DEAD?
122
00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:39,750
BECAUSE EITHER SHE IS DEAD
OR SHE IS SO SO VERY TIRED.
123
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:42,750
CAN YOU WAKE HER UP,
"FISH STORE PHIL?"
124
00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:45,166
( between teeth )
UH, WHAT DO I DO?
125
00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:47,583
YOU WAKE HER UP, PHIL.
126
00:05:47,583 --> 00:05:50,250
OKAY, I SEE HOW THIS IS.
127
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,750
WELL,
IT'S A BRIGHT SUNSHINY DAY.
128
00:05:52,750 --> 00:05:55,250
TIME TO WAKE UP
AND HAVE SOME FRENCH TOAST
129
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:59,291
AND GET TO THE OL' FISH JOB.
130
00:05:59,291 --> 00:06:00,875
DEAD.
131
00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:02,833
WELL, HE TRIED.
132
00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:06,416
YES, I TRIED REALLY HARD.
133
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:09,750
WELL, I GUESS I ALWAYS KNEW,
"FISH STORE PHIL."
134
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:12,500
CHELSEA DID NOT SURVIVE RILEY.
135
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,250
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HER NOW?
136
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,083
- OH, SHE'LL GO IN THE POTTY.
- THE POTTY?!
137
00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:18,458
UH, WHOOP WHOOP,
"DA PARTY!"
138
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:19,875
( both giggling )
139
00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:22,250
OKAY, WE'LL GO THAT WAY.
140
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,291
YOUNG LADY,
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
141
00:06:24,291 --> 00:06:27,000
TO WATCH
YOUR GOLDFISH LOVED ONE
142
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,166
SWIM TO THAT GREAT FISHBOWL
IN THE SKY?
143
00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:33,083
I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH,
"FISH STORE PHIL," YES.
144
00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:34,500
HOW DOES SHE GET THERE?
145
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,083
WELL, THE 4:15 EXPRESS
IS LEAVING RIGHT NOW.
146
00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,958
GET HER ON IT!
GET HER ON IT!
147
00:06:38,958 --> 00:06:40,875
CLOSE YOUR EYES WITH ME, RILEY.
LET'S BOW OUR HEADS.
148
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:41,875
OF COURSE.
149
00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:49,625
( toilet flushing )
150
00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:51,125
WHAT WAS THAT?
151
00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:53,583
THAT-- THAT WAS THE SOUND
OF CHELSEA'S FISH SOUL
152
00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:55,000
SWIMMING UP
TO FISH HEAVEN.
153
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,083
BUT IT SOUNDED A LOT
LIKE A TOILET--
154
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:01,125
WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION
THE WAYS OF FISH HEAVEN?
155
00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:05,000
DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT
POSSIBLY HAVE ANOTHER ONE
156
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,458
THAT LOOKS LIKE CHELSEA?
157
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:15,125
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE YOURSELF
A LITTLE LOOKY-SEE
158
00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:17,708
AND MAYBE YOU'LL LOCATE
ANOTHER UNIQUE
159
00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:20,708
AND ONE-OF-A-KIND
ORANGE ONE.
160
00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:31,583
THIS ONE.
161
00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:33,083
( softly )
IT'S A MIRACLE.
162
00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:44,375
CHELSEA IS REPLACED.
163
00:07:44,375 --> 00:07:48,708
SO ENDS
THE LONG, GLORIOUS REIGN
OF CHELSEA THE FIRST,
164
00:07:48,708 --> 00:07:51,333
LONG LIVE CHELSEA II!
165
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:56,000
( French accent )
NOBODY MIFF.
166
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,250
- MIFF?
- NO, DON'T MIFF.
167
00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:00,000
DON'T MIFF?
168
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,250
TOO LATE.
YOU MIFFED.
169
00:08:04,208 --> 00:08:07,416
THE REASON YOU HAVE ALL
BEEN SUMMONED HERE TODAY
170
00:08:07,416 --> 00:08:09,833
IS THAT CHELSEA THE FIRST
171
00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:12,875
IS DEAD,
172
00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:14,166
WHICH MEANS
173
00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:18,250
THAT ONE
OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM IS--
174
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,875
( French accent )
A MUH-DEH-HER.
175
00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:32,208
I'M GOING TO TALK
TO FARKLE FIRST.
176
00:08:32,208 --> 00:08:34,708
WHY?
'CAUSE YOU THINK I'LL CRACK?
177
00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:37,208
WELL, I'M NOT THE ONE
WHO'S GOING TO CRACK, PALLY BOY.
178
00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:39,583
IT'S GOING TO TAKE A LOT BETTER
THAN YOU TO CRACK ME.
179
00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:45,208
( both crunching crackers )
180
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,000
OKAY, UM,
181
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,166
I JUST NEED THE SOUND
OF GRAHAM-CRACKER CRUNCHING
TO STOP.
182
00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:57,583
IT'S JUST THAT PARTICULAR SOUND
183
00:08:57,583 --> 00:08:59,583
THAT REALLY BOTHERS ME.
184
00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:01,083
I NEED IT TO STOP, PLEASE.
185
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,875
LOOK, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF YOU KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT,
186
00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:07,000
BUT I NEED IT TO STOP.
I REALLY DO.
187
00:09:08,708 --> 00:09:10,333
( sighs )
THANK YOU.
188
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,708
I CAN'T TAKE IT!
189
00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:17,583
I CONFESS!
190
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:18,750
WHAT?
191
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:20,291
I KILLED CHELSEA.
192
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:28,875
THESE DON'T TASTE AS GOOD
WHEN YOU'RE A MUH-DEH-HER.
193
00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:39,458
I'M NOT WORTHY OF THIS STICKER.
I'M NOT WORTHY.
194
00:09:41,458 --> 00:09:44,625
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU KILLED MY FISH, FARKLE.
195
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:47,250
NO, NOT YOUR FISH--
MY FISH.
196
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:50,125
YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE
WHO HAD TO REPLACE CHELSEA.
197
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,375
I REPLACED HER TOO.
198
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,083
WHAT? WHEN?!
199
00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:54,625
IN THE MIDDLE
OF MY WEEK.
200
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:56,625
EVERYTHING WENT SO WELL
ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY.
201
00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:58,708
ON WEDNESDAY, I DECIDED
TO GIVE HER A BATH.
202
00:09:58,708 --> 00:09:59,875
WHAT?!
203
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:02,958
- ON THURSDAY--
- WAIT WAIT, GO BACK.
204
00:10:02,958 --> 00:10:04,750
I TOOK CHELSEA
TO THE BIRDBATH.
205
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,833
SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE
WAS HAVING SUCH A GREAT TIME.
206
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:10,125
I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING
WHEN THE FIRST BIRD SAT
ON THE TELEPHONE WIRE.
207
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:12,833
BEFORE YOU KNEW IT,
I COULDN'T SEE THE SKY ANYMORE.
208
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:14,750
DID YOU KNOW
GOLDFISH CAN SCREAM?
209
00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:17,125
- THEY CAN'T.
- THEN IT WAS ME!
210
00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:19,458
I SCREAM LIKE A GOLDFISH.
211
00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:24,000
ANYWAY, ALL THE BIRDS
SWOOPED DOWN AT THE SAME TIME
212
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,625
IN A FASCINATING
MIGRATORY PATTERN.
213
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,750
IT WAS LIKE
A NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC SPECIAL.
214
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:29,250
I CAUGHT A LITTLE
ON MY PHONE.
215
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:33,166
- ( birds squawking )
- ( Farkle screaming )
216
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,083
AND SURPRISINGLY,
AS SMART AS I AM,
217
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:37,958
YOU WOULD THINK
I'D HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON
218
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:39,750
NOT TO PUT THE NEXT CHELSEA
IN A BIRDBATH.
219
00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:42,208
THIS ONE I PUT
IN MY CAT'S WATER DISH.
220
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,875
YOU DIDN'T?!
221
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:47,291
Farkle ( on phone ):
No, Fluffy, new Chelsea's
taking a bath!
222
00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:49,125
( cat meowing )
223
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:50,166
ANYHOO,
224
00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:52,583
I REPLACED MY NEW CHELSEA
WITH ANOTHER CHELSEA
225
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:54,583
AND CAME RIGHT TO SCHOOL.
SO AS YOU CAN SEE,
226
00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:56,750
I HAD NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE DEATH OF YOUR CHELSEA.
227
00:10:56,750 --> 00:11:00,333
SO THE CURRENT CHELSEA
ISN'T CHELSEA #2 AT ALL.
228
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,750
SHE'S CHELSEA #4.
229
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:04,958
( groans )
FIVE.
230
00:11:04,958 --> 00:11:06,416
HOW?
231
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,125
I WAS TOO ASHAMED TO TELL YOU
232
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:11,166
ABOUT OUR TRIP
TO THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.
233
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:13,000
I TOOK HER ALL THE WAY UP
234
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,500
AND SAT HER ON THE LEDGE.
235
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:17,208
AND THEN I SAID,
"LEAN BACK A LITTLE."
236
00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:22,166
AND SHE LISTENED TO ME.
237
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:24,250
( wailing )
238
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:28,875
SO THIS IS THE HOT SEAT, HUH?
239
00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:31,583
IT IS WHEN YOU'RE IN IT,
BIG BOY.
240
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:33,208
- AVA!
- LUCAS.
241
00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:34,375
ME?
242
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:36,166
OKAY, LUCAS, SPILL IT.
243
00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:37,708
- SPILL WHAT?
- THE BEANS.
244
00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:39,833
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- IT'S WHAT OWL DETECTIVE SAYS.
245
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,083
THANK YOU, RILEY.
246
00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:42,708
YOU'RE WELCOME, I'M SURE.
247
00:11:42,708 --> 00:11:44,458
SO WHAT ABOUT THOSE BEANS?
248
00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,625
- I DON'T HAVE ANY BEANS.
- THEN SING LIKE A CANARY.
249
00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:48,875
- I DON'T SING SO GOOD.
- THEN LET THE CAT
OUT OF THE BAG.
250
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,291
- I'M MORE OF A DOG PERSON.
- AW, ME TOO.
251
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:54,583
JUST TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED.
252
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,416
I'M SURE YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO HIDE.
253
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,458
DO YOU?
254
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:02,458
LET ME TAKE YOU BACK
TO THE WEEK OF THE 15th.
255
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:05,083
- I DON'T WANT TO GO.
- YOU TOOK CHELSEA OUT
OF THE CLASSROOM.
256
00:12:05,083 --> 00:12:06,708
- I TOOK HER STRAIGHT HOME.
- NO STOPS?
257
00:12:06,708 --> 00:12:08,708
- I WOULDN'T CALL IT A STOP.
- SO WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT?
258
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,125
- I'D CALL IT A PAUSE.
- SO YOU PAUSED.
259
00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:12,083
OKAY, I STOPPED.
260
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,250
WE HAD A BASEBALL GAME
AGAINST EINSTEIN ACADEMY.
261
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:15,250
TIGGLEMAN WAS ON THE MOUND.
262
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:16,875
CURVE-BALL TIGGLEMAN?
263
00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:19,125
BEST IN THE LEAGUE
AND NO ONE CAN HIT IT.
264
00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:20,750
- EXCEPT YOU.
- EXCEPT ME.
265
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,750
AND HE KNOWS THAT,
BUT HE IS PROUD, SEE?
266
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,750
SO I SAYS-- I SAYS,
"TIG, PLEASE.
267
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:26,958
I PUT CHELSEA
IN THE BLEACHERS 'CAUSE
IT'S NICE AND SHADY OVER THERE,
268
00:12:26,958 --> 00:12:28,958
SO LAY OFF
THE CURVE BECAUSE
YOU KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING."
269
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:30,458
- THE BLEACHERS.
- YEAH, THE BLEACHERS.
270
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,875
GUESS WHAT PITCH
THE JERK THROWS.
271
00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:33,500
- THE CURVE.
- THE CURVE.
272
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,625
SO WHERE'D YOU HIT THE BALL,
LUCAS?
273
00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:38,125
IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE.
274
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,250
IMPOSSIBLE, I TELLS YA.
275
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:42,333
CHELSEA CAUGHT
MY HOME-RUN BALL...
276
00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:44,166
IN THE HEAD.
277
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:47,208
THE SOUND OF HER FISHBOWL
SHATTERING HAS HAUNTED ME
EVER SINCE.
278
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:50,958
YEAH, I WAS AT THE GAME.
I CAUGHT IT ALL ON MY PHONE!
279
00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:53,958
- ( bat hitting ball )
- Farkle: Oh, no, run!
280
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,625
Chelsea, run!
281
00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:58,166
- Lucas: Chelsea!
- ( glass shattering )
282
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,583
Announcer:
Oh, you absolutely hate
to see this, folks.
283
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:03,000
You're swimming around,
enjoying a great game
284
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,416
and then boom! Dead!
285
00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:06,750
Meanwhile, Lucas Friar
crosses home plate
286
00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:08,166
and Quincy wins!
287
00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:10,333
YOU RAN THE BASES?
288
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,166
I HAD TO. OTHERWISE
SHE DIED FOR NOTHING.
289
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,416
BUT I HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR CHELSEA, RILEY.
290
00:13:15,416 --> 00:13:18,166
- I PROMISE.
- YOU MEAN CHELSEA #6.
291
00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:19,416
SEVEN.
292
00:13:19,416 --> 00:13:22,166
I HAD A DOUBLE HEADER.
293
00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:29,416
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME, AUGGIE.
294
00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:31,166
OH, YOU'LL BLINK FIRST.
295
00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:32,375
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?
296
00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:33,875
I'M AN OWL.
297
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,875
- ALL RIGHT,
I WENT THROUGH SEVEN FISH.
- WHAT?!
298
00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:40,875
RILEY, THEY'RE GOLDFISH.
WE'RE KIDS.
299
00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:42,416
KIDS ARE THE NATURAL ENEMY
OF GOLDFISH
300
00:13:42,416 --> 00:13:44,083
AND THE NATURAL MEAL TICKET
OF "FISH STORE PHIL"
301
00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:45,250
WHO MAKES A FORTUNE
OFF OF US.
302
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,000
HOW CAN HE MAKE A FORTUNE,
MAYA?
303
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,416
THEY COST $1 EACH.
304
00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:50,625
HE SELLS THEM TO EVERY KID
IN EVERY SCHOOL
305
00:13:50,625 --> 00:13:52,875
IN EVERY CLASS
IN THE TRISTATE AREA.
306
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:56,166
YOU DO THE MATH,
'CAUSE YOU KNOW ME AND MATH.
307
00:13:56,166 --> 00:13:58,583
WOW, PHIL THE FISH GUY,
308
00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:03,291
CLEANING UP ON THE HEARTBREAK
OF THE CLASS MASCOT BUSINESS.
309
00:14:03,291 --> 00:14:05,750
RILEY, I HATE
TO BREAK IT TO YOU,
310
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:08,375
BUT CHELSEA HASN'T SURVIVED
ANY OF US.
311
00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:10,458
EVERY KID IN THE CLASS
REPLACED HER.
312
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,125
I AM NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
313
00:14:13,125 --> 00:14:15,708
I KNOW MY CLASSMATES
314
00:14:15,708 --> 00:14:19,291
AND THEY ARE A LOVING
AND CARING GROUP OF CHILDREN,
315
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:23,291
WHO PLACE VALUE
ON THE SPARK OF LIFE
316
00:14:23,291 --> 00:14:26,833
EVEN IN THE SMALLEST
OF LIVING CREATURES.
317
00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:30,583
OKAY.
318
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,208
ALL RIGHT, HOW MANY OF YOU
KNOCKED OFF A FISH?
319
00:14:41,083 --> 00:14:43,000
HOW MANY FISH
YOU ALL KNOCKED OFF?
320
00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:46,208
ET TU, YOGI?
321
00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:48,958
NO, HE HAD THREE.
322
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,083
GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE.
323
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:55,000
I CAN'T EVEN LOOK
AT YOU GUYS ANYMORE.
JUST GET OUT OF HERE!
324
00:14:57,416 --> 00:15:00,000
CHELSEA 105,
325
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,583
ON BEHALF OF
ALL OF MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS,
326
00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:04,375
I AM SO SORRY.
327
00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:06,166
YOU AND YOUR LITTLE
FISH FRIENDS
328
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:09,291
ALL DESERVE TO BE SAFE
IN YOUR GOLDFISH BOWLS.
329
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:13,083
I WISH THERE WAS A WAY
YOU GUYS COULD ALL TAKE CARE
OF EACH OTHER SOMEHOW.
330
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:15,250
BUT YOU'RE ONLY STUCK WITH US.
331
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,458
I AM SORRY.
332
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:21,000
OKAY, YOU'RE ALL FREE TO GO.
333
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:29,125
DON'T NOBODY LEAVE TOWN.
334
00:15:30,708 --> 00:15:33,083
WHAT ABOUT MY CHELSEA, AUGGIE?
335
00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,583
HER KILLER
STILL WALKS AMONG US.
336
00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:39,458
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOOOO!
337
00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:46,833
HI, CHELSEA.
338
00:15:46,833 --> 00:15:49,333
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
RILEY'S RIGHT.
339
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:53,000
WE NEED TO
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.
340
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,125
AUGGIE, STOP.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
341
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:57,833
I'M FEEDING CHELSEA 105.
342
00:15:57,833 --> 00:16:00,208
YOU CAN'T FEED A FISH
GRAHAM CRACKERS.
343
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:02,000
( all gasping )
344
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,458
YOU CAN'T?
345
00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:04,958
NO!
346
00:16:04,958 --> 00:16:08,291
WELL, THIS SEEMS LIKE
THE REAL PROBLEM.
347
00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:21,000
OH, NO.
348
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,250
I-I-I-I-I-DUNNIT!
349
00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:39,083
AW, HONEY, DON'T BE SAD.
YOU SOLVED THE CASE!
350
00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:41,750
I FED CHELSEA GRAHAM CRACKERS.
351
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,000
MAYBE THAT WASN'T IT.
352
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,208
OH, IT WAS IT!
353
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:47,000
AVA!
354
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,583
SHE'S RIGHT.
GRAHAM CRACKERS EXPAND IN WATER.
355
00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,083
- FARKLE!
- HE'S RIGHT.
356
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:53,833
- SO THE CRUMBS
EXPANDED INSIDE HER.
- LUCAS!
357
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,583
- HE'S RIGHT.
- MAYA!
358
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,833
( exploding sound )
359
00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:02,083
I 'SPLODED CHELSEA 104.
360
00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:05,416
I FEEL BAD FOR WHAT I DONE.
WILL I EVER FEEL BETTER?
361
00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:13,291
NO, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
PUT HER NEAR ME.
362
00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:15,458
WHY NOT? SHE'S YOURS.
363
00:17:15,458 --> 00:17:16,625
SHE IS?
364
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,333
YEAH, YOU TAKE THIS ONE.
365
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:25,250
I'M GOING TO
PAY PHIL THE FISH GUY
ONE MORE LITTLE VISIT.
366
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:26,750
BUT I MADE A MISTAKE.
367
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:30,208
BUT I KNOW YOU, AUGGIE.
YOU WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
368
00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:31,583
IT IS NO MYSTERY TO ME
369
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,291
THAT YOU'LL
TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF HER.
370
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:39,708
MY SISTER IS SOME DAME,
AIN'T SHE?
371
00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:41,708
SHE KNOWS JUST HOW
TO PICK UP THE SPIRITS
372
00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:44,250
OF A HEARTBROKEN
LITTLE DETECTIVE LIKE ME.
373
00:17:50,708 --> 00:17:55,000
THIS WRAPS UP THE CASE
OF THE FISH WHO ATE
THE GRAHAM CRACKER.
374
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,208
NOW THAT I HEARD
THE NAME OF THE CASE,
375
00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:59,833
I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
WHAT HAPPENED.
376
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:12,875
HOW YA DOIN', PHIL?
377
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:16,125
WELL, MY MY MY.
WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
378
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:19,750
ALL MY FAVORITE CUSTOMERS
HERE AT THE SAME TIME.
379
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,208
OOH, EXCUSE ME A MINUTE
WHILE I CONSIDER
380
00:18:22,208 --> 00:18:24,958
WHICH CHATEAU IN FRANCE
I'LL BE STAYING AT THIS SUMMER.
381
00:18:24,958 --> 00:18:29,250
ONE GOLDFISH FOR
OUR WHOLE CLASS, PLEASE.
382
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:32,958
LOOKS LIKE
YOU FINALLY MET YOUR MATCH
ON THIS ONE, PHIL.
383
00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,250
HMM!
384
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,708
Y'ALL GONNA KEEP THIS ONE ALIVE,
HUH, BIRDBATH?
385
00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:39,250
- ( laughs )
- WHAT YOU LAUGHIN' AT, SLUGGER?
386
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,583
NOTHING.
387
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,250
WE'LL TAKE THIS ONE.
388
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:45,375
OKAY.
389
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,833
HOW LONG ARE GOLDFISH
SUPPOSED TO LIVE?
390
00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:52,750
WELL, WITH PROPER CARE,
THEY CAN GO 15, 20 YEARS.
391
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,125
THEN THAT'S
WHEN WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT.
392
00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:56,375
RIGHT, GUYS?
393
00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:59,500
I HOPE SO, KID.
I'LL MISS YOU.
394
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,208
- YOU WILL?
- YEAH.
395
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:04,625
YOU'RE SINCERE, YOU'RE HONEST.
YOU CHANGED ME TODAY.
396
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,208
REALLY?
397
00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:09,250
YEAH.
THAT'LL BE $17,000.
398
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:12,291
- PHIL.
- OKAY.
399
00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,000
THIS ONE'S ON ME.
400
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,625
THANK YOU, "FISH STORE PHIL."
401
00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:38,333
OKAY, DAD,
SO WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE
OF THIS HORRIBLE LESSON?
402
00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,125
THERE WAS NO LESSON.
403
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:43,083
OH, COME ON, MATTHEWS.
THERE'S ALWAYS A LESSON
WITH YOU.
404
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:45,458
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
PUT THESE GOLDFISH
IN OUR HANDS FOR NO REASON.
405
00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:47,125
SORRY, GUYS.
406
00:19:47,125 --> 00:19:48,583
NO LESSON HERE,
407
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:51,250
EXCEPT WHATEVER
YOU CAME UP WITH.
408
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:56,875
THIS GOLDFISH IS GOING
TO LIVE 15 YEARS.
409
00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:58,125
WHY IS THAT?
410
00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:01,250
BECAUSE THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
THAT MUCH LIFE IN HER.
411
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:04,250
AND EVERYTHING ALIVE
DESERVES TO BE--
412
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,458
CARED FOR THE RIGHT WAY.
413
00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:09,208
VERY GOOD.
414
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,083
OH, BY THE WAY...
415
00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:13,458
All:
I KNEW IT!
416
00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:16,458
PERMISSION SLIPS
FOR THE CLASS RETREAT.
417
00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:19,208
WE'RE GOING TO
THE BERKSHIRE MOUNTAINS
THIS YEAR.
418
00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:22,166
I WANT YOU TO ALL
WATCH OUT FOR EACH OTHER.
419
00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:25,250
LET'S BRING EVERYBODY HOME
SAFE AND SOUND.
420
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,125
YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?
421
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:36,125
YEAH, I THINK YOU CAN TOO.
422
00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,833
( sighs )
423
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:59,750
CHELSEA, CHELSEA, CHELSEA,
424
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:02,708
CHELSEA, CHELSEA,
425
00:21:02,708 --> 00:21:05,708
CHELSEA, CHELSEA,
426
00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:08,583
CHELSEA, CHELSEA,
427
00:21:08,583 --> 00:21:11,291
CHELSEA, CHELSEA,
428
00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:14,958
CHELSEA, CHELSEA.