1 00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:07,166 WHERE'S CHELSEA? WHY ISN'T SHE BACK YET? 2 00:00:07,166 --> 00:00:09,708 HONEY, I'M SURE FARKLE TOOK VERY GOOD CARE OF HER. 3 00:00:09,708 --> 00:00:11,208 HEY, MATTHEWS, WHY ARE YOU MAKING US 4 00:00:11,208 --> 00:00:12,458 DO THE WHOLE CLASS-MASCOT THING ANYWAY? 5 00:00:12,458 --> 00:00:14,166 DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME, MAYA. 6 00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:17,208 EVERYBODY GOT THE CHANCE TO TAKE CHELSEA HOME FOR A WEEK 7 00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:20,000 AND NOW IT'S MY TURN AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 8 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,208 GOOD, BECAUSE IF YOU BRING HER BACK SAFELY, 9 00:00:22,208 --> 00:00:25,125 CHELSEA WILL HAVE SURVIVED THE WHOLE CLASS. 10 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,083 THEN IT'S AS GOOD AS DONE. 11 00:00:27,083 --> 00:00:29,750 YOU KNOW I AM FANTASTIC WITH PETS. 12 00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:31,625 MR. PUFFLES. 13 00:00:31,625 --> 00:00:34,208 THAT WAS SAD. 14 00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:38,291 IT'S CHELSEA! IT IS. 15 00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:40,583 NICE JOB, FARKLE. 16 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:43,125 HERE'S YOUR STICKER. 17 00:00:44,458 --> 00:00:46,500 CHELSEA! 18 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:49,291 ARE YOU READY TO COME TO OUR HOUSE? 19 00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:50,583 HEY, FARKLE, 20 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:52,625 DID YOU GO TO PHIL'S FISH STORE? 21 00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,166 WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT, AUGGIE? 22 00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:56,000 WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WHY? 23 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,208 ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR FARKLE. 24 00:00:58,208 --> 00:01:00,500 THERE'S A NEW CASTLE IN THE BOWL. 25 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,166 VERY IMPRESSIVE, AUGGIE. 26 00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:05,166 YEAH, HE WATCHES "OWL DETECTIVE" EVERY DAY. 27 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,958 HE ALWAYS KNOWS WHODUNNIT. 28 00:01:06,958 --> 00:01:09,958 ( sing-song ) HOOOO-DUNNIT! 29 00:01:09,958 --> 00:01:11,833 EVERY DAY. 30 00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:13,833 OKAY, RILEY, SHE'S ALL YOURS. 31 00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:16,083 NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FEED HER ONCE A DAY 32 00:01:16,083 --> 00:01:18,625 AND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU THROW HER A COMPLIMENT. 33 00:01:18,625 --> 00:01:20,458 YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THE FISH, RIGHT? 34 00:01:20,458 --> 00:01:22,375 NO. 35 00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:26,250 ALL RIGHT, IS SHE ALL READY TO GO, AUGGIE? 36 00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:28,583 ALL FED AND READY TO GO. 37 00:01:28,583 --> 00:01:31,125 RILEY, HERE'S CHELSEA. 38 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,083 SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. 39 00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,333 DON'T BLOW THIS. 40 00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:38,125 THIS FISH IS IN GOOD HANDS. 41 00:01:38,125 --> 00:01:40,583 LET ME JUST GET OUR FIRST PICTURE TOGETHER. 42 00:01:40,583 --> 00:01:41,875 ( clicks ) 43 00:01:41,875 --> 00:01:43,458 UM... 44 00:01:43,458 --> 00:01:45,083 WHAT? 45 00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:47,250 LET ME TAKE ANOTHER ONE. CHELSEA'S UPSIDE-DOWN. 46 00:01:47,250 --> 00:01:48,333 OH, BOY. 47 00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,875 "DAY ONE, I DIED!" 48 00:01:50,875 --> 00:01:54,208 - ( all gasping ) - CHELSEA! 49 00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:56,458 NO, I'LL CRY FOR YOU LATER. 50 00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:58,500 RIGHT NOW THERE'S A MYSTERY TO BE SOLVED. 51 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,583 WHAT MYSTERY, AUGGIE? I KILLED THE FISH. 52 00:02:01,583 --> 00:02:03,583 NO, YOU DID NOT KILL THIS FISH. 53 00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:06,458 THIS FISH WAS THE VICTIM OF FOUL PLAY. 54 00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:11,291 SOMEBODY HERE IS RESPONSIBLE. 55 00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:13,458 THE ONLY QUESTION IS... 56 00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:14,750 OH, NO. 57 00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:18,333 All: ...HOOOOO-DUNNIT?! 58 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,208 ( theme music playing ) 59 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:27,208 ♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING ♪ 60 00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:29,000 ♪ FOR A DAY LIKE THIS TO COME ♪ 61 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,166 ♪ STRUCK LIKE LIGHTNING ♪ 62 00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:33,208 ♪ MY HEART'S BEATING LIKE A DRUM ♪ 63 00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:36,208 ♪ ON THE EDGE OF SOMETHING ♪ 64 00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:37,375 ♪ WONDERFUL ♪ 65 00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:40,166 ♪ FACE TO FACE WITH CHANGES ♪ 66 00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:41,833 ♪ WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT? ♪ 67 00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,583 ♪ LIFE IS CRAZY ♪ 68 00:02:43,583 --> 00:02:45,583 ♪ BUT I KNOW I CAN WORK IT OUT ♪ 69 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:49,875 ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU TO LIVE IT WITH ME ♪ 70 00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:54,000 ♪ I FEEL ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪ 71 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,083 ♪ LIGHT UP THE STARS, I'VE GOT SOME PAGES TO TURN ♪ 72 00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:59,625 ♪ I'M SINGING, OH OH OH ♪ 73 00:02:59,625 --> 00:03:02,291 ♪ OH OH OH OH ♪ 74 00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:05,375 ♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD, TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪ 75 00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:07,625 ♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD, TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪ 76 00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:11,000 ♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD, TAKE ON THE WORLD. ♪ 77 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:15,416 ( noir music playing ) 78 00:03:20,416 --> 00:03:24,875 THE DAME WAS 39 lbs OF BLUE-EYED DYNAMITE. 79 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:28,875 T.N.T.-- TEETH... 80 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,458 AND TEETH. 81 00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:34,875 ( howling, panting ) 82 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:38,375 THEY CALL HER "LADY A" 83 00:03:38,375 --> 00:03:41,458 BECAUSE SHE WRITES HER "A"s GOOD. 84 00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:45,958 LET'S GO OVER THE SUSPECT LIST, DOLL FACE. 85 00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:48,583 I LIKE WHEN SHE CALLS ME DOLL FACE. 86 00:03:48,583 --> 00:03:51,416 MAKES ME FEEL DAINTY. 87 00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:55,125 CHELSEA WAS KAPUT, BELLY UP. 88 00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:57,458 OF THIS, THERE IS NO QUESTION. 89 00:03:57,458 --> 00:03:59,583 THE ONLY QUESTION WAS-- 90 00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:01,708 I WANT TO DO THIS WITH YOU! 91 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,000 FINE, ON THREE. 92 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,250 Both: ONE-- 93 00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:08,166 HOOOO-DUNNIT! 94 00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:10,625 WHY DO I ALWAYS LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS? 95 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,125 BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE BEST BABY TEETH IN THE BUSINESS. 96 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:22,583 HAVE MY OWL DETECTIVES CRACKED THE CASE? 97 00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:24,875 THE OTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE. 98 00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:27,458 SOME CALL HER TOPANGA. 99 00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:30,208 I CALL HER MOMMY. 100 00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:33,208 - AVA? - TOPANGA? 101 00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:36,083 THESE TWO ARE ICIER THAN TWO POPSICLES... 102 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:39,333 IN ALASKA IN THE WINTER 103 00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:41,333 THAT DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER. 104 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:43,500 I BROUGHT YOUR FAVORITE. 105 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,458 Both: GRAHAM CRACKERS! 106 00:04:56,291 --> 00:04:58,166 MAYA. 107 00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:00,625 - PHIL. - OH, YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER? 108 00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:02,708 ACTUALLY, I'M FAMILIAR WITH YOUR WHOLE CLASS. 109 00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:05,875 OH, DO YOU HAVE A SON OR DAUGHTER AT JOHN Q. ADAMS? 110 00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:09,083 WELL, YOU MIGHT SAY I HAVE A WHOLE SCHOOL OF KIDS AT JOHN Q. ADAMS. 111 00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:12,750 WHAT A RANDOM AND CURIOUS COMMENT TO MAKE, "FISH STORE PHIL." 112 00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:15,833 - OH, SHE DOESN'T-- - NO NO, THIS ONE'S VERY TRUSTING AND SENSITIVE. 113 00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:17,708 OOH, I LIKE PEOPLE LIKE THAT. 114 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,416 DO YOU GOT YOUR OWN DEBIT CARD, YOUNG LADY? 115 00:05:19,416 --> 00:05:21,000 PHIL. 116 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,125 SORRY. 117 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:27,250 IT'S OUR CLASS GOLDFISH, CHELSEA. 118 00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:29,000 SHE MADE IT THROUGH THE WHOLE YEAR, 119 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,833 RIGHT UP UNTIL IT WAS MY TURN TO TAKE HER HOME. 120 00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,875 AND THEN SHE-- 121 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,333 AND THEN SHE-- IS SHE DEAD? 122 00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:39,750 BECAUSE EITHER SHE IS DEAD OR SHE IS SO SO VERY TIRED. 123 00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:42,750 CAN YOU WAKE HER UP, "FISH STORE PHIL?" 124 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:45,166 ( between teeth ) UH, WHAT DO I DO? 125 00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:47,583 YOU WAKE HER UP, PHIL. 126 00:05:47,583 --> 00:05:50,250 OKAY, I SEE HOW THIS IS. 127 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,750 WELL, IT'S A BRIGHT SUNSHINY DAY. 128 00:05:52,750 --> 00:05:55,250 TIME TO WAKE UP AND HAVE SOME FRENCH TOAST 129 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:59,291 AND GET TO THE OL' FISH JOB. 130 00:05:59,291 --> 00:06:00,875 DEAD. 131 00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:02,833 WELL, HE TRIED. 132 00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:06,416 YES, I TRIED REALLY HARD. 133 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:09,750 WELL, I GUESS I ALWAYS KNEW, "FISH STORE PHIL." 134 00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:12,500 CHELSEA DID NOT SURVIVE RILEY. 135 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,250 WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HER NOW? 136 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,083 - OH, SHE'LL GO IN THE POTTY. - THE POTTY?! 137 00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:18,458 UH, WHOOP WHOOP, "DA PARTY!" 138 00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:19,875 ( both giggling ) 139 00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:22,250 OKAY, WE'LL GO THAT WAY. 140 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,291 YOUNG LADY, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE 141 00:06:24,291 --> 00:06:27,000 TO WATCH YOUR GOLDFISH LOVED ONE 142 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,166 SWIM TO THAT GREAT FISHBOWL IN THE SKY? 143 00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:33,083 I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH, "FISH STORE PHIL," YES. 144 00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:34,500 HOW DOES SHE GET THERE? 145 00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,083 WELL, THE 4:15 EXPRESS IS LEAVING RIGHT NOW. 146 00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,958 GET HER ON IT! GET HER ON IT! 147 00:06:38,958 --> 00:06:40,875 CLOSE YOUR EYES WITH ME, RILEY. LET'S BOW OUR HEADS. 148 00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:41,875 OF COURSE. 149 00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:49,625 ( toilet flushing ) 150 00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:51,125 WHAT WAS THAT? 151 00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:53,583 THAT-- THAT WAS THE SOUND OF CHELSEA'S FISH SOUL 152 00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:55,000 SWIMMING UP TO FISH HEAVEN. 153 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,083 BUT IT SOUNDED A LOT LIKE A TOILET-- 154 00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:01,125 WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION THE WAYS OF FISH HEAVEN? 155 00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:05,000 DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY HAVE ANOTHER ONE 156 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,458 THAT LOOKS LIKE CHELSEA? 157 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:15,125 WHY DON'T YOU HAVE YOURSELF A LITTLE LOOKY-SEE 158 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:17,708 AND MAYBE YOU'LL LOCATE ANOTHER UNIQUE 159 00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:20,708 AND ONE-OF-A-KIND ORANGE ONE. 160 00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:31,583 THIS ONE. 161 00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:33,083 ( softly ) IT'S A MIRACLE. 162 00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:44,375 CHELSEA IS REPLACED. 163 00:07:44,375 --> 00:07:48,708 SO ENDS THE LONG, GLORIOUS REIGN OF CHELSEA THE FIRST, 164 00:07:48,708 --> 00:07:51,333 LONG LIVE CHELSEA II! 165 00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:56,000 ( French accent ) NOBODY MIFF. 166 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,250 - MIFF? - NO, DON'T MIFF. 167 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:00,000 DON'T MIFF? 168 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,250 TOO LATE. YOU MIFFED. 169 00:08:04,208 --> 00:08:07,416 THE REASON YOU HAVE ALL BEEN SUMMONED HERE TODAY 170 00:08:07,416 --> 00:08:09,833 IS THAT CHELSEA THE FIRST 171 00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:12,875 IS DEAD, 172 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:14,166 WHICH MEANS 173 00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:18,250 THAT ONE OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM IS-- 174 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,875 ( French accent ) A MUH-DEH-HER. 175 00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:32,208 I'M GOING TO TALK TO FARKLE FIRST. 176 00:08:32,208 --> 00:08:34,708 WHY? 'CAUSE YOU THINK I'LL CRACK? 177 00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:37,208 WELL, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S GOING TO CRACK, PALLY BOY. 178 00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:39,583 IT'S GOING TO TAKE A LOT BETTER THAN YOU TO CRACK ME. 179 00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:45,208 ( both crunching crackers ) 180 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,000 OKAY, UM, 181 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,166 I JUST NEED THE SOUND OF GRAHAM-CRACKER CRUNCHING TO STOP. 182 00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:57,583 IT'S JUST THAT PARTICULAR SOUND 183 00:08:57,583 --> 00:08:59,583 THAT REALLY BOTHERS ME. 184 00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:01,083 I NEED IT TO STOP, PLEASE. 185 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,875 LOOK, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, 186 00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:07,000 BUT I NEED IT TO STOP. I REALLY DO. 187 00:09:08,708 --> 00:09:10,333 ( sighs ) THANK YOU. 188 00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,708 I CAN'T TAKE IT! 189 00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:17,583 I CONFESS! 190 00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:18,750 WHAT? 191 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:20,291 I KILLED CHELSEA. 192 00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:28,875 THESE DON'T TASTE AS GOOD WHEN YOU'RE A MUH-DEH-HER. 193 00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:39,458 I'M NOT WORTHY OF THIS STICKER. I'M NOT WORTHY. 194 00:09:41,458 --> 00:09:44,625 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU KILLED MY FISH, FARKLE. 195 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:47,250 NO, NOT YOUR FISH-- MY FISH. 196 00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:50,125 YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD TO REPLACE CHELSEA. 197 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,375 I REPLACED HER TOO. 198 00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,083 WHAT? WHEN?! 199 00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:54,625 IN THE MIDDLE OF MY WEEK. 200 00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:56,625 EVERYTHING WENT SO WELL ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY. 201 00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:58,708 ON WEDNESDAY, I DECIDED TO GIVE HER A BATH. 202 00:09:58,708 --> 00:09:59,875 WHAT?! 203 00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:02,958 - ON THURSDAY-- - WAIT WAIT, GO BACK. 204 00:10:02,958 --> 00:10:04,750 I TOOK CHELSEA TO THE BIRDBATH. 205 00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,833 SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS HAVING SUCH A GREAT TIME. 206 00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:10,125 I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING WHEN THE FIRST BIRD SAT ON THE TELEPHONE WIRE. 207 00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:12,833 BEFORE YOU KNEW IT, I COULDN'T SEE THE SKY ANYMORE. 208 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:14,750 DID YOU KNOW GOLDFISH CAN SCREAM? 209 00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:17,125 - THEY CAN'T. - THEN IT WAS ME! 210 00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:19,458 I SCREAM LIKE A GOLDFISH. 211 00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:24,000 ANYWAY, ALL THE BIRDS SWOOPED DOWN AT THE SAME TIME 212 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,625 IN A FASCINATING MIGRATORY PATTERN. 213 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,750 IT WAS LIKE A NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC SPECIAL. 214 00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:29,250 I CAUGHT A LITTLE ON MY PHONE. 215 00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:33,166 - ( birds squawking ) - ( Farkle screaming ) 216 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,083 AND SURPRISINGLY, AS SMART AS I AM, 217 00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:37,958 YOU WOULD THINK I'D HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON 218 00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:39,750 NOT TO PUT THE NEXT CHELSEA IN A BIRDBATH. 219 00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:42,208 THIS ONE I PUT IN MY CAT'S WATER DISH. 220 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,875 YOU DIDN'T?! 221 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:47,291 Farkle ( on phone ): No, Fluffy, new Chelsea's taking a bath! 222 00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:49,125 ( cat meowing ) 223 00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:50,166 ANYHOO, 224 00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:52,583 I REPLACED MY NEW CHELSEA WITH ANOTHER CHELSEA 225 00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:54,583 AND CAME RIGHT TO SCHOOL. SO AS YOU CAN SEE, 226 00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:56,750 I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DEATH OF YOUR CHELSEA. 227 00:10:56,750 --> 00:11:00,333 SO THE CURRENT CHELSEA ISN'T CHELSEA #2 AT ALL. 228 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,750 SHE'S CHELSEA #4. 229 00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:04,958 ( groans ) FIVE. 230 00:11:04,958 --> 00:11:06,416 HOW? 231 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,125 I WAS TOO ASHAMED TO TELL YOU 232 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:11,166 ABOUT OUR TRIP TO THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. 233 00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:13,000 I TOOK HER ALL THE WAY UP 234 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,500 AND SAT HER ON THE LEDGE. 235 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:17,208 AND THEN I SAID, "LEAN BACK A LITTLE." 236 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:22,166 AND SHE LISTENED TO ME. 237 00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:24,250 ( wailing ) 238 00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:28,875 SO THIS IS THE HOT SEAT, HUH? 239 00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:31,583 IT IS WHEN YOU'RE IN IT, BIG BOY. 240 00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:33,208 - AVA! - LUCAS. 241 00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:34,375 ME? 242 00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:36,166 OKAY, LUCAS, SPILL IT. 243 00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:37,708 - SPILL WHAT? - THE BEANS. 244 00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:39,833 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? - IT'S WHAT OWL DETECTIVE SAYS. 245 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,083 THANK YOU, RILEY. 246 00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:42,708 YOU'RE WELCOME, I'M SURE. 247 00:11:42,708 --> 00:11:44,458 SO WHAT ABOUT THOSE BEANS? 248 00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,625 - I DON'T HAVE ANY BEANS. - THEN SING LIKE A CANARY. 249 00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:48,875 - I DON'T SING SO GOOD. - THEN LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG. 250 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,291 - I'M MORE OF A DOG PERSON. - AW, ME TOO. 251 00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:54,583 JUST TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED. 252 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,416 I'M SURE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE. 253 00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,458 DO YOU? 254 00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:02,458 LET ME TAKE YOU BACK TO THE WEEK OF THE 15th. 255 00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:05,083 - I DON'T WANT TO GO. - YOU TOOK CHELSEA OUT OF THE CLASSROOM. 256 00:12:05,083 --> 00:12:06,708 - I TOOK HER STRAIGHT HOME. - NO STOPS? 257 00:12:06,708 --> 00:12:08,708 - I WOULDN'T CALL IT A STOP. - SO WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT? 258 00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,125 - I'D CALL IT A PAUSE. - SO YOU PAUSED. 259 00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:12,083 OKAY, I STOPPED. 260 00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,250 WE HAD A BASEBALL GAME AGAINST EINSTEIN ACADEMY. 261 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:15,250 TIGGLEMAN WAS ON THE MOUND. 262 00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:16,875 CURVE-BALL TIGGLEMAN? 263 00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:19,125 BEST IN THE LEAGUE AND NO ONE CAN HIT IT. 264 00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:20,750 - EXCEPT YOU. - EXCEPT ME. 265 00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,750 AND HE KNOWS THAT, BUT HE IS PROUD, SEE? 266 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,750 SO I SAYS-- I SAYS, "TIG, PLEASE. 267 00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:26,958 I PUT CHELSEA IN THE BLEACHERS 'CAUSE IT'S NICE AND SHADY OVER THERE, 268 00:12:26,958 --> 00:12:28,958 SO LAY OFF THE CURVE BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING." 269 00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:30,458 - THE BLEACHERS. - YEAH, THE BLEACHERS. 270 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,875 GUESS WHAT PITCH THE JERK THROWS. 271 00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:33,500 - THE CURVE. - THE CURVE. 272 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,625 SO WHERE'D YOU HIT THE BALL, LUCAS? 273 00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:38,125 IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. 274 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,250 IMPOSSIBLE, I TELLS YA. 275 00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:42,333 CHELSEA CAUGHT MY HOME-RUN BALL... 276 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:44,166 IN THE HEAD. 277 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:47,208 THE SOUND OF HER FISHBOWL SHATTERING HAS HAUNTED ME EVER SINCE. 278 00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:50,958 YEAH, I WAS AT THE GAME. I CAUGHT IT ALL ON MY PHONE! 279 00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:53,958 - ( bat hitting ball ) - Farkle: Oh, no, run! 280 00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,625 Chelsea, run! 281 00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:58,166 - Lucas: Chelsea! - ( glass shattering ) 282 00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,583 Announcer: Oh, you absolutely hate to see this, folks. 283 00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:03,000 You're swimming around, enjoying a great game 284 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,416 and then boom! Dead! 285 00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:06,750 Meanwhile, Lucas Friar crosses home plate 286 00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:08,166 and Quincy wins! 287 00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:10,333 YOU RAN THE BASES? 288 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,166 I HAD TO. OTHERWISE SHE DIED FOR NOTHING. 289 00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,416 BUT I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CHELSEA, RILEY. 290 00:13:15,416 --> 00:13:18,166 - I PROMISE. - YOU MEAN CHELSEA #6. 291 00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:19,416 SEVEN. 292 00:13:19,416 --> 00:13:22,166 I HAD A DOUBLE HEADER. 293 00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:29,416 YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME, AUGGIE. 294 00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:31,166 OH, YOU'LL BLINK FIRST. 295 00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:32,375 WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE? 296 00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:33,875 I'M AN OWL. 297 00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,875 - ALL RIGHT, I WENT THROUGH SEVEN FISH. - WHAT?! 298 00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:40,875 RILEY, THEY'RE GOLDFISH. WE'RE KIDS. 299 00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:42,416 KIDS ARE THE NATURAL ENEMY OF GOLDFISH 300 00:13:42,416 --> 00:13:44,083 AND THE NATURAL MEAL TICKET OF "FISH STORE PHIL" 301 00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:45,250 WHO MAKES A FORTUNE OFF OF US. 302 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,000 HOW CAN HE MAKE A FORTUNE, MAYA? 303 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,416 THEY COST $1 EACH. 304 00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:50,625 HE SELLS THEM TO EVERY KID IN EVERY SCHOOL 305 00:13:50,625 --> 00:13:52,875 IN EVERY CLASS IN THE TRISTATE AREA. 306 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:56,166 YOU DO THE MATH, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW ME AND MATH. 307 00:13:56,166 --> 00:13:58,583 WOW, PHIL THE FISH GUY, 308 00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:03,291 CLEANING UP ON THE HEARTBREAK OF THE CLASS MASCOT BUSINESS. 309 00:14:03,291 --> 00:14:05,750 RILEY, I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, 310 00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:08,375 BUT CHELSEA HASN'T SURVIVED ANY OF US. 311 00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:10,458 EVERY KID IN THE CLASS REPLACED HER. 312 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,125 I AM NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS. 313 00:14:13,125 --> 00:14:15,708 I KNOW MY CLASSMATES 314 00:14:15,708 --> 00:14:19,291 AND THEY ARE A LOVING AND CARING GROUP OF CHILDREN, 315 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:23,291 WHO PLACE VALUE ON THE SPARK OF LIFE 316 00:14:23,291 --> 00:14:26,833 EVEN IN THE SMALLEST OF LIVING CREATURES. 317 00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:30,583 OKAY. 318 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,208 ALL RIGHT, HOW MANY OF YOU KNOCKED OFF A FISH? 319 00:14:41,083 --> 00:14:43,000 HOW MANY FISH YOU ALL KNOCKED OFF? 320 00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:46,208 ET TU, YOGI? 321 00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:48,958 NO, HE HAD THREE. 322 00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,083 GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE. 323 00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:55,000 I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU GUYS ANYMORE. JUST GET OUT OF HERE! 324 00:14:57,416 --> 00:15:00,000 CHELSEA 105, 325 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,583 ON BEHALF OF ALL OF MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS, 326 00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:04,375 I AM SO SORRY. 327 00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:06,166 YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FISH FRIENDS 328 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:09,291 ALL DESERVE TO BE SAFE IN YOUR GOLDFISH BOWLS. 329 00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:13,083 I WISH THERE WAS A WAY YOU GUYS COULD ALL TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER SOMEHOW. 330 00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:15,250 BUT YOU'RE ONLY STUCK WITH US. 331 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,458 I AM SORRY. 332 00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:21,000 OKAY, YOU'RE ALL FREE TO GO. 333 00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:29,125 DON'T NOBODY LEAVE TOWN. 334 00:15:30,708 --> 00:15:33,083 WHAT ABOUT MY CHELSEA, AUGGIE? 335 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,583 HER KILLER STILL WALKS AMONG US. 336 00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:39,458 I JUST DON'T KNOW HOOOO! 337 00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:46,833 HI, CHELSEA. 338 00:15:46,833 --> 00:15:49,333 ARE YOU HUNGRY? RILEY'S RIGHT. 339 00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:53,000 WE NEED TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. 340 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,125 AUGGIE, STOP. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 341 00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:57,833 I'M FEEDING CHELSEA 105. 342 00:15:57,833 --> 00:16:00,208 YOU CAN'T FEED A FISH GRAHAM CRACKERS. 343 00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:02,000 ( all gasping ) 344 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,458 YOU CAN'T? 345 00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:04,958 NO! 346 00:16:04,958 --> 00:16:08,291 WELL, THIS SEEMS LIKE THE REAL PROBLEM. 347 00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:21,000 OH, NO. 348 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,250 I-I-I-I-I-DUNNIT! 349 00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:39,083 AW, HONEY, DON'T BE SAD. YOU SOLVED THE CASE! 350 00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:41,750 I FED CHELSEA GRAHAM CRACKERS. 351 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,000 MAYBE THAT WASN'T IT. 352 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,208 OH, IT WAS IT! 353 00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:47,000 AVA! 354 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,583 SHE'S RIGHT. GRAHAM CRACKERS EXPAND IN WATER. 355 00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,083 - FARKLE! - HE'S RIGHT. 356 00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:53,833 - SO THE CRUMBS EXPANDED INSIDE HER. - LUCAS! 357 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,583 - HE'S RIGHT. - MAYA! 358 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,833 ( exploding sound ) 359 00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:02,083 I 'SPLODED CHELSEA 104. 360 00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:05,416 I FEEL BAD FOR WHAT I DONE. WILL I EVER FEEL BETTER? 361 00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:13,291 NO, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T PUT HER NEAR ME. 362 00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:15,458 WHY NOT? SHE'S YOURS. 363 00:17:15,458 --> 00:17:16,625 SHE IS? 364 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,333 YEAH, YOU TAKE THIS ONE. 365 00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:25,250 I'M GOING TO PAY PHIL THE FISH GUY ONE MORE LITTLE VISIT. 366 00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:26,750 BUT I MADE A MISTAKE. 367 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:30,208 BUT I KNOW YOU, AUGGIE. YOU WON'T DO IT AGAIN. 368 00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:31,583 IT IS NO MYSTERY TO ME 369 00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,291 THAT YOU'LL TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF HER. 370 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:39,708 MY SISTER IS SOME DAME, AIN'T SHE? 371 00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:41,708 SHE KNOWS JUST HOW TO PICK UP THE SPIRITS 372 00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:44,250 OF A HEARTBROKEN LITTLE DETECTIVE LIKE ME. 373 00:17:50,708 --> 00:17:55,000 THIS WRAPS UP THE CASE OF THE FISH WHO ATE THE GRAHAM CRACKER. 374 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,208 NOW THAT I HEARD THE NAME OF THE CASE, 375 00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:59,833 I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT HAPPENED. 376 00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:12,875 HOW YA DOIN', PHIL? 377 00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:16,125 WELL, MY MY MY. WHAT HAVE WE HERE? 378 00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:19,750 ALL MY FAVORITE CUSTOMERS HERE AT THE SAME TIME. 379 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,208 OOH, EXCUSE ME A MINUTE WHILE I CONSIDER 380 00:18:22,208 --> 00:18:24,958 WHICH CHATEAU IN FRANCE I'LL BE STAYING AT THIS SUMMER. 381 00:18:24,958 --> 00:18:29,250 ONE GOLDFISH FOR OUR WHOLE CLASS, PLEASE. 382 00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:32,958 LOOKS LIKE YOU FINALLY MET YOUR MATCH ON THIS ONE, PHIL. 383 00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,250 HMM! 384 00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,708 Y'ALL GONNA KEEP THIS ONE ALIVE, HUH, BIRDBATH? 385 00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:39,250 - ( laughs ) - WHAT YOU LAUGHIN' AT, SLUGGER? 386 00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,583 NOTHING. 387 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,250 WE'LL TAKE THIS ONE. 388 00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:45,375 OKAY. 389 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,833 HOW LONG ARE GOLDFISH SUPPOSED TO LIVE? 390 00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:52,750 WELL, WITH PROPER CARE, THEY CAN GO 15, 20 YEARS. 391 00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,125 THEN THAT'S WHEN WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT. 392 00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:56,375 RIGHT, GUYS? 393 00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:59,500 I HOPE SO, KID. I'LL MISS YOU. 394 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,208 - YOU WILL? - YEAH. 395 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:04,625 YOU'RE SINCERE, YOU'RE HONEST. YOU CHANGED ME TODAY. 396 00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,208 REALLY? 397 00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:09,250 YEAH. THAT'LL BE $17,000. 398 00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:12,291 - PHIL. - OKAY. 399 00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,000 THIS ONE'S ON ME. 400 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,625 THANK YOU, "FISH STORE PHIL." 401 00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:38,333 OKAY, DAD, SO WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THIS HORRIBLE LESSON? 402 00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,125 THERE WAS NO LESSON. 403 00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:43,083 OH, COME ON, MATTHEWS. THERE'S ALWAYS A LESSON WITH YOU. 404 00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:45,458 YOU WOULDN'T HAVE PUT THESE GOLDFISH IN OUR HANDS FOR NO REASON. 405 00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:47,125 SORRY, GUYS. 406 00:19:47,125 --> 00:19:48,583 NO LESSON HERE, 407 00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:51,250 EXCEPT WHATEVER YOU CAME UP WITH. 408 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:56,875 THIS GOLDFISH IS GOING TO LIVE 15 YEARS. 409 00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:58,125 WHY IS THAT? 410 00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:01,250 BECAUSE THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THAT MUCH LIFE IN HER. 411 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:04,250 AND EVERYTHING ALIVE DESERVES TO BE-- 412 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,458 CARED FOR THE RIGHT WAY. 413 00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:09,208 VERY GOOD. 414 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,083 OH, BY THE WAY... 415 00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:13,458 All: I KNEW IT! 416 00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:16,458 PERMISSION SLIPS FOR THE CLASS RETREAT. 417 00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:19,208 WE'RE GOING TO THE BERKSHIRE MOUNTAINS THIS YEAR. 418 00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:22,166 I WANT YOU TO ALL WATCH OUT FOR EACH OTHER. 419 00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:25,250 LET'S BRING EVERYBODY HOME SAFE AND SOUND. 420 00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,125 YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT? 421 00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:36,125 YEAH, I THINK YOU CAN TOO. 422 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,833 ( sighs ) 423 00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:59,750 CHELSEA, CHELSEA, CHELSEA, 424 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:02,708 CHELSEA, CHELSEA, 425 00:21:02,708 --> 00:21:05,708 CHELSEA, CHELSEA, 426 00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:08,583 CHELSEA, CHELSEA, 427 00:21:08,583 --> 00:21:11,291 CHELSEA, CHELSEA, 428 00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:14,958 CHELSEA, CHELSEA.