1 00:00:06,853 --> 00:00:08,052 Tables. 2 00:00:08,154 --> 00:00:11,388 Tables are made so a person can sit down and do something. 3 00:00:11,491 --> 00:00:13,424 Or nothing. 4 00:00:13,526 --> 00:00:15,459 Any person can sit at a table, 5 00:00:15,561 --> 00:00:18,096 and if the table is large enough, many people. 6 00:00:18,197 --> 00:00:21,198 To make jokes, eat a meal, tell stories. 7 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:23,935 Tables are for people to be together and share. 8 00:00:24,037 --> 00:00:27,338 And that is why tables are like Pied Piper. 9 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,841 Grapefruits, postcards, hugs. 10 00:00:29,943 --> 00:00:32,409 These are things people share to connect, to come closer. 11 00:00:32,512 --> 00:00:35,546 To open up about ideas and things that make us feel alive, 12 00:00:35,649 --> 00:00:40,317 like air, ballet, amazing haircuts, weird countries, 13 00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:45,156 three-alarm chili, mountains, continents, the Earth, life. 14 00:00:45,258 --> 00:00:50,061 Life is beautiful and sad and hopeful and dangerous. 15 00:00:50,163 --> 00:00:52,162 So maybe the reason we share so much 16 00:00:52,163 --> 00:00:54,442 is because we understand that without sharing, 17 00:00:54,443 --> 00:00:56,050 we can't survive. 18 00:00:56,051 --> 00:00:58,736 And sharing is tables. 19 00:00:58,838 --> 00:01:01,405 Pied Piper. 20 00:01:01,507 --> 00:01:05,376 Yes. Tables. I see. It's a metaphor. 21 00:01:05,478 --> 00:01:09,847 - It's a wonderful ad spot. - Yeah. We're all just tables. 22 00:01:09,949 --> 00:01:11,248 I love what you've done with the place. 23 00:01:11,350 --> 00:01:14,786 It's a really nicely done place. 24 00:01:16,622 --> 00:01:18,690 Say, is that your dog? 25 00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:22,160 It's a dog. 26 00:01:24,630 --> 00:01:27,165 You and I have never really had much of a rapport, have we? 27 00:01:27,266 --> 00:01:30,702 It's... wanting. 28 00:01:30,804 --> 00:01:32,203 Oh, look. 29 00:01:32,305 --> 00:01:36,340 Well, we're almost there. Prepare to gather, everyone. 30 00:01:36,442 --> 00:01:41,345 No, I didn't say to gather. I simply said prepare to gather. 31 00:01:44,617 --> 00:01:47,418 - Monica, hey. - Oh, hey. How's it going? 32 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,620 - You holding up okay? - Not really. 33 00:01:49,723 --> 00:01:51,723 - I know. - Her parties are always deeply weird. 34 00:01:51,825 --> 00:01:55,226 Hey... I guess this is as good a time as any to say it, 35 00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:59,396 but... I'm really sorry for not getting Pied Piper. 36 00:01:59,498 --> 00:02:03,667 And to be honest, it's really embarrassing to be so fucking wrong. 37 00:02:03,770 --> 00:02:07,205 Well, here's the thing, you... you might not be. 38 00:02:07,306 --> 00:02:09,406 What? What are you talking about? 39 00:02:12,724 --> 00:02:13,244 Okay. 40 00:02:13,346 --> 00:02:17,949 So, well, Pied Piper launches and everything's great, 41 00:02:18,051 --> 00:02:21,619 and we spent a fucking bazillion dollars, on the Tables ad 42 00:02:21,721 --> 00:02:26,023 and now we are almost at 500,000 installs, right? 43 00:02:26,126 --> 00:02:28,726 - Yeah. What's the problem? - Well, as you know, 44 00:02:28,828 --> 00:02:31,062 installs isn't really the metric that matters. 45 00:02:31,164 --> 00:02:34,498 We need daily active users, people who come back to the platform. 46 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,768 Okay, so how many daily users do you actually have? 47 00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:38,502 Okay, what would... what would be a number 48 00:02:38,604 --> 00:02:41,038 that would make you say, "Ugh, oh, that's bad." 49 00:02:41,141 --> 00:02:44,208 I don't know, like, 100,000? 50 00:02:45,514 --> 00:02:46,744 Are you less? 51 00:02:46,846 --> 00:02:49,147 How much less? 52 00:02:49,249 --> 00:02:52,150 - 19,000. - 19... 19,000 less than a hu... 53 00:02:52,252 --> 00:02:55,253 - 81,000? - No. No, just 19,000. 54 00:02:55,354 --> 00:02:57,221 - That's the only number. - What? 55 00:02:57,323 --> 00:03:00,124 - That's... that's terrible. - Yeah. I'm aware. 56 00:03:00,226 --> 00:03:03,627 Well, yeah, that's art, not a chair. 57 00:03:03,729 --> 00:03:06,397 Richard! Oh, my... well, you haven't told Laurie yet, have you? 58 00:03:06,499 --> 00:03:09,566 - No. - Okay. Well, who else knows? 59 00:03:09,669 --> 00:03:12,870 - Dinesh and Gilfoyle? - No. 60 00:03:12,972 --> 00:03:14,605 Erlich? 61 00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,307 No. 62 00:03:16,409 --> 00:03:19,466 Well, apparently Jared knows. 63 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:29,316 www.TUSUBTITULO.com -DIFUNDE LA CULTURA- 64 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,623 Yeah, Pied Piper's sort of what I'm known for, 65 00:03:32,725 --> 00:03:36,360 but I'm into a lot of cool stuff. 66 00:03:36,462 --> 00:03:38,062 Like, a lot. 67 00:03:38,164 --> 00:03:39,964 You seem surprised. 68 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:42,399 I'll give you an example. A few months ago, 69 00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:44,101 I'm at my computer, freestyling, 70 00:03:44,204 --> 00:03:45,903 just kind of jammin' out, you know, 71 00:03:46,005 --> 00:03:48,906 before I knew it I had thrown together 72 00:03:49,008 --> 00:03:52,043 the greatest video-chat app the world has ever seen. 73 00:03:52,145 --> 00:03:55,612 So you invented Skype a few months ago? 74 00:03:55,715 --> 00:03:58,015 Great ideas just sort of flow through me. 75 00:03:58,117 --> 00:04:01,252 The platform, you know, it's sort of a group project, 76 00:04:01,354 --> 00:04:04,722 but... the video-chat app, that's my solo album. 77 00:04:04,824 --> 00:04:07,524 - Oh, Robert. - I'm Dinesh. 78 00:04:10,563 --> 00:04:13,164 What the fuck is going on with you? 79 00:04:13,990 --> 00:04:16,734 Could you be more specific? 80 00:04:16,836 --> 00:04:17,969 You're hiding something. 81 00:04:18,071 --> 00:04:20,171 What? No, I'm not. 82 00:04:20,273 --> 00:04:22,073 Everything's fine. You know, everything's fine. 83 00:04:22,175 --> 00:04:23,707 That's a lie. 84 00:04:23,809 --> 00:04:25,642 I can tell because you subscribe 85 00:04:25,745 --> 00:04:29,646 to traditional Judeo-Christian mores of right and wrong. 86 00:04:29,749 --> 00:04:31,582 You're made uncomfortable by untruth. 87 00:04:33,052 --> 00:04:34,785 My commitment to LaVeyan Satanism 88 00:04:34,888 --> 00:04:36,687 grants me certain freedoms. 89 00:04:36,789 --> 00:04:40,057 There is no good and evil, there's only self. 90 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,061 - Would you like a beverage? - Yes, I would. 91 00:04:44,163 --> 00:04:47,398 Lie. You just want me to go to the bar and leave you alone. 92 00:04:50,336 --> 00:04:52,803 Gil... you crack me up. 93 00:04:52,906 --> 00:04:55,172 Lie. 94 00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:58,409 I terrify you, as I should. 95 00:04:59,946 --> 00:05:02,980 Get out of here. 96 00:05:04,217 --> 00:05:07,118 Okay, thank you. 97 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:11,188 Okay, so, I just spoke with my friend who runs a market research firm, 98 00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:13,925 she's gonna set up a focus group for the platform, 99 00:05:14,027 --> 00:05:15,859 put it in the hands of some real users, 100 00:05:15,962 --> 00:05:18,095 and hopefully it'll be super obvious what's going wrong. 101 00:05:18,197 --> 00:05:20,697 - Okay, great. - Clink, clink, clink. Gather. 102 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,800 Faster, please. Gather faster. We're close. 103 00:05:22,902 --> 00:05:24,768 We need to see the numbers change. 104 00:05:24,870 --> 00:05:27,671 499,995, 105 00:05:27,773 --> 00:05:31,816 499,996... 106 00:05:31,817 --> 00:05:34,665 INSTALLS: 499,996 107 00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:35,580 INSTALLS: 499,997 108 00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:38,416 499,997... 109 00:05:47,427 --> 00:05:49,460 It's going great. They've been engaging 110 00:05:49,562 --> 00:05:51,329 with the platform for about an hour now. 111 00:05:51,431 --> 00:05:53,497 - They're just starting the Q and A. - Great. 112 00:05:53,599 --> 00:05:55,699 Thank you, everyone, for sharing your feelings 113 00:05:55,801 --> 00:05:58,169 on the revolutionary new Pied Piper platform. 114 00:05:58,271 --> 00:06:02,039 Now, Bernice, you say here that you were... 115 00:06:02,141 --> 00:06:04,708 totally freaked out by the platform. 116 00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:07,644 What specifically totally freaked you out? 117 00:06:07,746 --> 00:06:11,782 Everything. Just every single thing about it. 118 00:06:11,884 --> 00:06:13,584 Just, like, how it worked. 119 00:06:13,686 --> 00:06:15,786 Now, who else found themselves 120 00:06:15,888 --> 00:06:18,489 totally freaked out by this platform? 121 00:06:18,591 --> 00:06:22,259 Barry, Warren, Natalie, Martina, 122 00:06:22,362 --> 00:06:25,296 Gwen, Amy, Walker, and Clay. 123 00:06:25,398 --> 00:06:27,698 You were all totally freaked out. 124 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,334 Was anyone not totally freaked out? 125 00:06:30,436 --> 00:06:33,670 Clark? Good. What was your reaction? 126 00:06:33,772 --> 00:06:36,073 It just made me feel stupid. 127 00:06:36,175 --> 00:06:37,975 This file sync thing is confusing. 128 00:06:38,077 --> 00:06:41,445 When I put videos into my main folder, it says it uploaded them, 129 00:06:41,547 --> 00:06:43,580 but then I didn't see where they went. 130 00:06:43,682 --> 00:06:45,649 It said stuff was on my phone and my iPad, 131 00:06:45,751 --> 00:06:48,352 but when I looked at the memory, it said, zero K used, 132 00:06:48,454 --> 00:06:49,853 so stuff wasn't on there. 133 00:06:49,955 --> 00:06:52,623 That's the platform. He's describing the platform 134 00:06:52,725 --> 00:06:54,858 and what's great about it. Well, clearly he doesn't get it. 135 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,428 clearly none of these people get it. Maybe this is a bad group. 136 00:06:57,530 --> 00:07:00,764 This is the fifth one today and it's the least hostile reaction we've seen. 137 00:07:00,866 --> 00:07:05,569 Okay, well, everyone that I showed the beta to loved it. Loved. 138 00:07:05,671 --> 00:07:07,771 - Oh, shit. - What? 139 00:07:07,873 --> 00:07:10,041 Who did you give the beta to? 140 00:07:10,143 --> 00:07:13,377 - Your friends. Engineers. - Well, yeah, Monica. 141 00:07:13,479 --> 00:07:15,612 I wanted to give it to people who would understand 142 00:07:15,714 --> 00:07:18,282 what I'm trying to do, so I could get useful feedback. 143 00:07:18,384 --> 00:07:21,985 And with all due respect, I gave it to you, the one person without a computing background, 144 00:07:22,088 --> 00:07:24,488 and you said it felt engineered. 145 00:07:26,259 --> 00:07:27,991 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. 146 00:07:28,094 --> 00:07:29,860 You're trying to sell the platform to regular people, 147 00:07:29,962 --> 00:07:33,697 but you never actually put it in the hands of regular people. 148 00:07:33,799 --> 00:07:34,865 Like them. 149 00:07:34,967 --> 00:07:36,767 Shouldn't there be a download button? 150 00:07:36,869 --> 00:07:40,471 Did they honestly forget to add a download button? 151 00:07:40,573 --> 00:07:43,407 You know what, Richard, why don't we just go... 152 00:07:43,509 --> 00:07:45,742 I mean, who designed this thing? 153 00:07:45,844 --> 00:07:48,245 I did. I designed it. 154 00:07:49,449 --> 00:07:50,847 Excuse me? Who are you? 155 00:07:52,006 --> 00:07:54,351 My name is Richard Hendricks, I'm the CEO of Pied Piper. 156 00:07:54,454 --> 00:07:55,352 Oh, my God. 157 00:07:56,252 --> 00:07:59,191 Oh, you're the one who forgot the download button. 158 00:07:59,192 --> 00:08:00,958 Yes. 159 00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:02,759 But no. No, actually, 160 00:08:02,861 --> 00:08:04,695 there is no download button because... well, 161 00:08:04,797 --> 00:08:06,630 you don't need a download button. We're past that. 162 00:08:06,732 --> 00:08:08,399 I mean, that's the old thing. This guy, actually, 163 00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:09,733 he should have told you that. 164 00:08:09,835 --> 00:08:11,502 I'm a moderator, not an advocate. 165 00:08:11,604 --> 00:08:13,170 Okay, well, with Pied Piper, 166 00:08:13,272 --> 00:08:15,973 you don't need to download anything or send anything at all, 167 00:08:16,075 --> 00:08:21,278 anywhere, because the second you take a photo or a video or compose a text message, 168 00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:23,647 it's on all of your devices instantly. 169 00:08:23,749 --> 00:08:25,849 - So it's all on my phone? - Yes. 170 00:08:25,951 --> 00:08:29,019 Wrong! It says zero K used," so it's not on there. 171 00:08:31,424 --> 00:08:33,890 Yes, well, that's the best part about the platform right there. 172 00:08:33,993 --> 00:08:37,661 Yes... because you're right, it's not actually on the phone. 173 00:08:37,763 --> 00:08:41,098 But you don't need it to be on the phone 174 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,734 if you can see it on the phone, 175 00:08:43,836 --> 00:08:46,303 even though there's nothing there at all. 176 00:08:46,405 --> 00:08:48,772 But... where the hell is it? 177 00:08:48,874 --> 00:08:50,974 Everywhere. 178 00:08:51,076 --> 00:08:53,511 And nowhere, sort of. 179 00:08:54,247 --> 00:08:57,248 Okay, let me... let me just take a step back here 180 00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:59,716 and explain it in a simpler way. 181 00:08:59,818 --> 00:09:01,619 - Sorry, what was your name? - Bernice. 182 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,188 Bernice. What did you have for breakfast today? 183 00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:06,890 - Scrambled eggs. - Scrambled eggs. 184 00:09:06,992 --> 00:09:09,059 And what's in the eggs? 185 00:09:09,162 --> 00:09:10,594 Electrons. Right? 186 00:09:10,696 --> 00:09:13,897 And we all know how electrons exist in orbitals. 187 00:09:13,999 --> 00:09:16,066 Multivalent states? No? 188 00:09:16,169 --> 00:09:17,635 No one knows this? Okay. 189 00:09:17,736 --> 00:09:20,737 Okay, that's fine. Bad example. That's on me. 190 00:09:20,839 --> 00:09:22,773 I'll... I'm going to use the whiteboard here. 191 00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:26,009 You're gonna... you're gonna love this. Okay. 192 00:09:26,111 --> 00:09:28,779 Then, once we hit a critical mass of users, 193 00:09:28,881 --> 00:09:31,649 the volume of data moving through the system 194 00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:34,951 will enable the neural net to start optimizing the platform. 195 00:09:35,054 --> 00:09:38,155 It will actually get smarter and faster all on its own. 196 00:09:38,257 --> 00:09:42,526 Is that like when I'm texting and my phone starts guessing what I'm going to say? 197 00:09:42,628 --> 00:09:44,395 This goes way beyond autocomplete. 198 00:09:44,497 --> 00:09:48,299 Actually, all of your devices will begin helping each other 199 00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:50,467 in ways that we can't even design or predict. 200 00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:56,073 Okay, but see, the problem is... Terminator. 201 00:09:56,175 --> 00:09:59,610 What? No. No, no. No, no, no. No. 202 00:09:59,712 --> 00:10:03,347 I can assure there is no Skynet type of situation here. 203 00:10:03,449 --> 00:10:07,518 No. Pied Piper will in no way become sentient and try to take over the world. 204 00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,853 He just told us he couldn't predict it. 205 00:10:09,955 --> 00:10:13,290 I'm just saying... everybody died. 206 00:10:13,392 --> 00:10:15,359 - Yeah. - You're right. 207 00:10:15,461 --> 00:10:18,995 In those movies, there were a lot of casualties. 208 00:10:19,098 --> 00:10:22,333 Quite scary to think. It's food for thought. 209 00:10:22,435 --> 00:10:23,767 Speaking of... 210 00:10:23,869 --> 00:10:26,803 Can we order some pizzas in here? 211 00:10:29,709 --> 00:10:33,176 So, when we put our files into a Pied Piper folder, 212 00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:39,850 they get split up into tiny bits and spread across a network of other users' devices? 213 00:10:39,952 --> 00:10:43,186 Yes, that's... peer-to-peer distribution. Continue. 214 00:10:43,289 --> 00:10:44,988 But they can't look at any of our files 215 00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:48,425 because they only have tiny, scrambled pieces of them? 216 00:10:48,527 --> 00:10:51,360 - Encrypted sharding. - Clark with the assist. Great. 217 00:10:51,361 --> 00:10:54,498 - Go on. - But we can look at any of our files anytime, 218 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,835 anywhere even though they're not actually on any of our devices. 219 00:10:58,937 --> 00:11:01,805 Yes. Yes, Bernice, that's it! 220 00:11:01,907 --> 00:11:04,074 That's Pied Piper. That's everything. 221 00:11:04,176 --> 00:11:07,478 So it's all on our phones even though it sort of isn't. 222 00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:10,113 Oh, my God. That's awesome. 223 00:11:10,215 --> 00:11:11,582 Isn't it? Yeah. 224 00:11:11,684 --> 00:11:14,251 So... what do you think? Will you use Pied Piper now? 225 00:11:14,353 --> 00:11:16,820 - Well, yeah, I think I will. - Me, too, 226 00:11:16,922 --> 00:11:19,423 - now that you've explained how it works. - There you go. 227 00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:21,858 That's what we've been aiming for. 228 00:11:23,496 --> 00:11:24,461 They get it! 229 00:11:24,563 --> 00:11:26,363 What's he smiling at? 230 00:11:26,465 --> 00:11:29,933 This data was corrupted the second he walked in that room. 231 00:11:32,204 --> 00:11:35,706 So we're tanking, and it's because we're too good. 232 00:11:35,808 --> 00:11:38,309 That's one way of looking at it. Yes. 233 00:11:38,411 --> 00:11:41,211 Yes, we have created a product so far ahead of its time, 234 00:11:41,314 --> 00:11:44,281 people are having difficulty wrapping their heads around it. 235 00:11:44,383 --> 00:11:47,284 Well, then we just need to change the platform, right? 236 00:11:47,386 --> 00:11:49,853 - We simplify it. - Well, we can't. 237 00:11:49,955 --> 00:11:53,123 It's not as if I don't want to, it's just that we literally can't do it. 238 00:11:53,225 --> 00:11:57,027 If you build an airplane and people are afraid of anything that flies, 239 00:11:57,129 --> 00:11:58,962 you can't just take the wings off of it, because, 240 00:11:59,064 --> 00:12:01,064 at that point, all you're left with 241 00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:04,535 is a really slow, super expensive shitty bus. 242 00:12:04,637 --> 00:12:07,304 No... we built an airplane, we got to fly it. 243 00:12:07,406 --> 00:12:10,207 What's the point of flying if it's fucking empty? 244 00:12:10,309 --> 00:12:11,975 I think people will want to fly 245 00:12:12,077 --> 00:12:14,978 once they realize how cool the platform is. 246 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,815 Guys, I know we're in a tough spot right now, 247 00:12:17,916 --> 00:12:19,850 and I know we needed a quarter million DAU's 248 00:12:19,952 --> 00:12:22,753 in order to get our next round of funding, but this is it. 249 00:12:22,855 --> 00:12:24,655 I think we can do this. All we got to do 250 00:12:24,757 --> 00:12:27,157 is just take every last dollar that we have, 251 00:12:27,259 --> 00:12:29,192 which is... Sorry... Jared, what? 252 00:12:29,294 --> 00:12:32,529 Well, after the Table ads, 253 00:12:32,631 --> 00:12:35,899 the salaries, recruiter fees... 254 00:12:36,001 --> 00:12:37,701 You know what? I haven't run the numbers. 255 00:12:37,803 --> 00:12:39,737 It would be irresponsible to estimate. 256 00:12:39,839 --> 00:12:43,006 Okay... is it less than a million dollars? 257 00:12:43,108 --> 00:12:46,042 - Oh, God, yeah. - Okay. 258 00:12:46,144 --> 00:12:48,945 - It's higher than 500,000, right? - Yeah. 259 00:12:49,047 --> 00:12:55,218 I guess it's about $697,240. But don't quote me on that. 260 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:59,790 Okay, we use that money to do outreach, tutorials, 261 00:12:59,892 --> 00:13:04,060 user meetups... create a guerrilla marketing campaign 262 00:13:04,162 --> 00:13:07,163 that explains how cool the platform is. 263 00:13:07,266 --> 00:13:11,368 I know it's not ideal, but, um, I really think we can pull this off. 264 00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:13,136 Yeah, that seems doable. 265 00:13:13,238 --> 00:13:14,505 Lie. 266 00:13:14,607 --> 00:13:18,241 Or here's another idea: We could put the platform on hold, 267 00:13:18,343 --> 00:13:21,512 take the money we have left and pivot to something 268 00:13:21,614 --> 00:13:23,980 that doesn't require hours of explanation. 269 00:13:24,082 --> 00:13:27,518 You know, I've been showing people the video-chat app 270 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:30,320 - that I hacked together and... - Shut up, Dinesh! 271 00:13:30,423 --> 00:13:32,989 You ungrateful pricks, all of you. 272 00:13:33,091 --> 00:13:38,662 Your tepid response to our intrepid boss makes me ill. 273 00:13:38,764 --> 00:13:41,566 His plan, will it work? 274 00:13:42,668 --> 00:13:44,200 Almost certainly not. 275 00:13:44,303 --> 00:13:46,637 All of you will likely look back at this time in your lives 276 00:13:46,739 --> 00:13:50,507 and realize you wasted a whole year with nothing to show for it. 277 00:13:50,609 --> 00:13:54,411 But if this company is a plane, then this is Richard's goddamn plane, 278 00:13:54,513 --> 00:13:57,648 and if he wants to fly it in the side of a fucking mountain, 279 00:13:57,750 --> 00:14:01,251 that is his prerogative and it is our duty to climb on, 280 00:14:01,353 --> 00:14:05,756 strap in and have a fiery death right behind him. 281 00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:08,826 I don't... I don't know about that, but... 282 00:14:08,928 --> 00:14:10,794 Richard, the floor. 283 00:14:10,896 --> 00:14:14,197 Crashing aside, I think this is the plan and... 284 00:14:14,299 --> 00:14:18,101 really, what other option do we have? 285 00:14:19,137 --> 00:14:21,171 Well, I know what option I have. 286 00:14:21,273 --> 00:14:24,641 I can quit. So I quit. 287 00:14:24,743 --> 00:14:28,378 Okay. Any... anybody else? 288 00:14:30,115 --> 00:14:31,515 Guys, no. 289 00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:33,517 Look, Douglas, 290 00:14:33,619 --> 00:14:35,418 customer support is going to be a big part of this. 291 00:14:35,521 --> 00:14:38,522 We need you guys if we're going to get 250,000 users. 292 00:14:38,624 --> 00:14:40,491 I barely have any customers to support, Richard. 293 00:14:40,593 --> 00:14:42,225 And the only way you're going to get that many users 294 00:14:42,327 --> 00:14:44,528 is if you go to one of those click farms in Bangladesh 295 00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:47,430 and pay for them. Good fuckin' luck, man. I'm out. 296 00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:50,233 - Guys, wait. - Jared, let them go. 297 00:14:50,335 --> 00:14:51,969 I have to do their exit interviews. 298 00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:54,404 I guess I can do them on their walk to their cars. 299 00:14:54,507 --> 00:14:57,708 Richard, we're better off without them. 300 00:14:57,810 --> 00:14:59,109 Lie. 301 00:15:02,748 --> 00:15:06,483 This is intolerable. A man can only take so much. 302 00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:08,952 Banished from my own company? No. 303 00:15:09,054 --> 00:15:12,890 I'm just going to give them what they want. I'm going to resign. 304 00:15:12,992 --> 00:15:16,259 We can go to Haiti, build orphanages. 305 00:15:16,361 --> 00:15:17,995 Haiti? 306 00:15:20,265 --> 00:15:25,002 Is it not said that one should think globally and act locally? 307 00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:26,637 I'm not acting at all. 308 00:15:26,739 --> 00:15:31,141 Lao Tzu teaches the best fighter is never angry. 309 00:15:31,243 --> 00:15:35,045 More important than the blow is knowing when to strike. 310 00:15:35,147 --> 00:15:38,448 Like, perhaps, after we experience 311 00:15:38,551 --> 00:15:43,787 the executive white water rafting trip in Coeur D'Alene? 312 00:15:43,889 --> 00:15:47,758 Gavin, do you have a moment? 313 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:49,359 Yes. 314 00:15:49,461 --> 00:15:51,061 Alone? 315 00:15:51,163 --> 00:15:53,096 Of course. Denpok? 316 00:15:53,198 --> 00:15:54,565 What? 317 00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:57,034 Give us a moment, please? 318 00:15:57,234 --> 00:15:59,234 'T'U'S'U'B'T'I'T'U'L'O'C'O'M' 319 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:04,775 Gavin, I'm really not supposed to be talking to you, 320 00:16:04,877 --> 00:16:07,477 but there's something I think you should know about. 321 00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:12,348 - I'm listening. - A customer service rep that just left Pied Piper 322 00:16:12,451 --> 00:16:15,552 is on campus right now interviewing for a job. 323 00:16:15,654 --> 00:16:18,055 Why would anyone leave Pied Piper now? 324 00:16:18,156 --> 00:16:21,725 I thought maybe you'd want to ask him yourself. 325 00:16:22,895 --> 00:16:26,029 Well done. Well done. 326 00:16:26,927 --> 00:16:29,299 Okay. Thank you for coming in, Douglas. 327 00:16:29,401 --> 00:16:32,569 - Yeah. - Right this way. - Okay. 328 00:16:36,631 --> 00:16:37,875 Douglas. 329 00:16:40,412 --> 00:16:43,013 Consider the possum. Nature's... 330 00:16:43,115 --> 00:16:45,849 Gavin, if you're bringing another animal into this board room, 331 00:16:45,951 --> 00:16:49,552 - this meeting is over. - Of course not. Don't insult me. 332 00:16:49,655 --> 00:16:53,123 Gentlemen and lady of the Hooli board, 333 00:16:53,225 --> 00:16:56,159 I am the possum to which I refer. 334 00:16:56,261 --> 00:16:58,929 Playing dead to outwit those who wish me harm. 335 00:16:59,031 --> 00:17:00,563 But it's time to end the charade. 336 00:17:00,666 --> 00:17:02,465 I'm sorry, Gavin. What charade? 337 00:17:02,567 --> 00:17:04,635 For months, I've led the world to believe 338 00:17:04,737 --> 00:17:06,837 that my Endframe division was pursuing 339 00:17:06,939 --> 00:17:08,538 a broad-based compression platform 340 00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:10,907 in direct competition with Pied Piper. 341 00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:15,812 But secretly, I knew that any such platform was destined to fail. 342 00:17:15,914 --> 00:17:17,914 But Pied Piper is not failing. 343 00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:20,216 It's the most popular app in the Hooli store. 344 00:17:20,318 --> 00:17:22,753 One of the most installed, yes. 345 00:17:22,855 --> 00:17:25,956 But I happen to know, because I make it my business to know, 346 00:17:26,058 --> 00:17:28,591 that their daily active user numbers are abysmal. 347 00:17:28,694 --> 00:17:32,763 So, you were never developing a platform. 348 00:17:32,865 --> 00:17:34,197 Why didn't you tell us this? 349 00:17:34,299 --> 00:17:36,833 Says the chairperson of the board 350 00:17:36,935 --> 00:17:39,636 that recently asked for my resignation. 351 00:17:39,738 --> 00:17:44,207 Trust cuts both ways. I thought it best to leave you out of it. 352 00:17:44,309 --> 00:17:47,744 I'm sorry, Gavin. I'm just finding all of this impossible to believe. 353 00:17:47,846 --> 00:17:51,114 If you were never building a platform, what did we just spend 354 00:17:51,216 --> 00:17:53,383 three-quarters of a billion dollars on? 355 00:17:53,485 --> 00:17:54,918 I'm not going to tell you. 356 00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:58,088 Instead, I'm going to let the new head of product 357 00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:00,824 for Hooli/Endframe tell you. 358 00:18:02,861 --> 00:18:04,427 Hello, everyone. 359 00:18:04,529 --> 00:18:07,297 I'm Jack Barker, and I'm very excited 360 00:18:07,399 --> 00:18:12,302 to introduce Hooli/Endframe's newest product... 361 00:18:12,404 --> 00:18:16,039 We call it... The Box. 362 00:18:16,141 --> 00:18:19,042 Pied Piper's loss is Hooli's gain. 363 00:18:19,144 --> 00:18:22,112 May the best product win. 364 00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:28,819 - Can I get you a shirt, sir? - Sure. - There you go. 365 00:18:28,921 --> 00:18:31,855 Actually, let me ask you a question... Emily. 366 00:18:31,957 --> 00:18:33,824 What did you have for breakfast today? 367 00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:35,625 - Yogurt. - Okay. 368 00:18:35,728 --> 00:18:38,428 And... we all know what's in yogurt, right? 369 00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:42,032 Electrons. Multivalent states. 370 00:18:42,232 --> 00:18:43,724 DAILY ACTIVE USERS: 19,224 FUNDS: $572,326 371 00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:47,938 Welcome to the Pied Piper Informational Seminar. 372 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,007 Now, what is Pied Piper? Excellent question. 373 00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:53,276 Here it is. 374 00:18:53,378 --> 00:18:57,080 One of your Hooli/Endframe boxes would go right here in this rack. 375 00:18:57,182 --> 00:19:00,450 Okay, let me show you the next location 376 00:19:00,552 --> 00:19:04,821 in which we would install one of your boxes. 377 00:19:04,923 --> 00:19:08,424 - Congratulations, Jack. - And congratulations to you, Gavin. 378 00:19:11,029 --> 00:19:12,929 - Hey, John? - John? 379 00:19:13,031 --> 00:19:14,597 John? 380 00:19:14,699 --> 00:19:16,466 A lot of people have raised their hands... 381 00:19:16,568 --> 00:19:19,302 throughout this seminar saying, Hey, is thing like the Terminator? 382 00:19:19,404 --> 00:19:21,471 No. Not at all. 383 00:19:21,573 --> 00:19:23,473 Hi, how big are your files? 384 00:19:23,575 --> 00:19:26,609 Dodge Challenger? Hoodie? 385 00:19:33,370 --> 00:19:35,200 WHO WILL PAY THE PIPER? APPARENTLY NO ONE. 386 00:19:35,201 --> 00:19:37,157 ERLICH BACHMAN: ANATOMY OF A FAILURE 387 00:19:39,007 --> 00:19:41,871 WATCH OUR DEMO AND QUALIFY TO WIN A $5.00 SUBWAY GIFT CARD 388 00:19:42,861 --> 00:19:45,662 - John? - Yo! 389 00:19:45,764 --> 00:19:48,165 - John? - John! 390 00:19:48,267 --> 00:19:50,167 - John! - John! 391 00:19:50,269 --> 00:19:52,102 This is Pied Piper, guys. Okay? 392 00:19:52,204 --> 00:19:54,104 If I could just explain it one more time. 393 00:19:54,206 --> 00:19:58,074 Guys? Please don't leave. I beg you. 394 00:19:58,177 --> 00:20:00,777 Hi, Bernice. Yeah. 395 00:20:07,505 --> 00:20:09,506 DAILY ACTIVE USERS: 23,563 FUNDS: $138,223 396 00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:13,669 WPROMOTE ADVERTISING 397 00:20:14,026 --> 00:20:16,860 We kind of thought we nailed it with Tables, 398 00:20:16,962 --> 00:20:20,263 but you say you want something light, fun, inviting. 399 00:20:20,365 --> 00:20:23,099 But most of all, you want something that delivers 400 00:20:23,202 --> 00:20:26,169 a step-by-step guide to all of the nuances of your platform. 401 00:20:26,271 --> 00:20:28,872 - Yeah. - All of this with the caveat that you don't have enough money 402 00:20:28,974 --> 00:20:32,943 - for even a minuscule ad buy. - Yes, that's right. 403 00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:35,011 That's a pretty small target to hit. 404 00:20:35,113 --> 00:20:38,414 Anyway, here's what we came up with. 405 00:20:40,719 --> 00:20:44,554 Oh, hello, welcome to Pied Piper. 406 00:20:44,656 --> 00:20:48,216 How can I help you? 407 00:20:49,594 --> 00:20:52,795 What in the name of fuck is that? 408 00:20:52,898 --> 00:20:56,466 Well, his name is Pipey, 409 00:20:56,568 --> 00:20:59,769 the Pied Piper Piper. 410 00:20:59,872 --> 00:21:01,972 He's fun. And... you know, the demo's interactive. 411 00:21:02,074 --> 00:21:05,475 Just... Looks like you want to compress a movie file! 412 00:21:05,577 --> 00:21:08,845 Can I help? You know, with Pied Piper's revolutionary 413 00:21:08,947 --> 00:21:12,415 neural network, optimized, sharded data distribution system, 414 00:21:12,517 --> 00:21:17,820 it's just six clicks away! Follow me! 415 00:21:17,923 --> 00:21:20,590 - I like it. - That's a fuckin' lie. 416 00:21:20,692 --> 00:21:25,561 - Yeah. - So, Richard, you want us to take the most sophisticated 417 00:21:25,663 --> 00:21:28,498 and technically complex compression based platform 418 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:33,370 - ever created and add... that? - Still here! 419 00:21:35,007 --> 00:21:39,442 Well, after the booths at CES and South by Southwest, 420 00:21:39,544 --> 00:21:42,913 - all of our outreach, the Dodge Challenger... - Still here! 421 00:21:43,015 --> 00:21:46,316 Plus, all the cost of working up, you know, this, 422 00:21:46,418 --> 00:21:52,088 - we are pretty much all out of money. - Follow me! 423 00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:55,392 Okay. 424 00:21:56,309 --> 00:21:58,028 Somebody seems confused! 425 00:21:58,130 --> 00:22:00,163 Let me walk you through Pied Piper's proprietary 426 00:22:00,265 --> 00:22:04,567 peer-to-peer content distribution system, consisting of... 427 00:22:10,342 --> 00:22:12,508 Richard? Are you indisposed? 428 00:22:12,610 --> 00:22:14,411 Richard, can I come in? 429 00:22:17,249 --> 00:22:20,116 Richard, I'm... I'm sorry the guys didn't like Pipey. 430 00:22:20,218 --> 00:22:22,953 It's over, Jared. 431 00:22:23,055 --> 00:22:27,090 Well, you know, a lot of animated characters have rough starts. 432 00:22:27,192 --> 00:22:31,561 Early Bugs Bunny cartoons were just garish displays of anti-Japanese hysteria, 433 00:22:31,663 --> 00:22:33,830 and now he's the face of Warner Bros. 434 00:22:33,932 --> 00:22:37,400 I'm not talking about Pipey, Jared. I'm talking about Pied Piper. 435 00:22:37,502 --> 00:22:42,305 We're dead. We fought Gavin Belson, Russ, Hooli, 436 00:22:42,407 --> 00:22:44,507 the lawsuit, that fucking box, 437 00:22:44,609 --> 00:22:47,177 all so we could build our platform the way we wanted to. 438 00:22:47,279 --> 00:22:52,182 And we did, but I guess you just can't fight public opinion, 439 00:22:52,284 --> 00:22:56,252 except for one woman named Bernice. 440 00:22:56,355 --> 00:23:01,424 Face it, Jared, being too early is the same as being wrong. 441 00:23:01,526 --> 00:23:03,126 Hey. 442 00:23:05,230 --> 00:23:09,832 - We'll figure it out. - I don't know if we will. 443 00:23:09,934 --> 00:23:12,935 Besides, I think I'm getting tired of being kicked in the balls. 444 00:23:13,038 --> 00:23:15,472 Come on, we have a few weeks of runway left. 445 00:23:15,573 --> 00:23:17,107 I don't want to say exactly how much. 446 00:23:17,209 --> 00:23:19,175 Again, I'm not comfortable estimating, but... 447 00:23:19,277 --> 00:23:22,979 Take what's left of it and divide it up amongst the guys. 448 00:23:23,081 --> 00:23:25,748 I mean, it won't be anywhere close to what you're owed in back pay, 449 00:23:25,850 --> 00:23:27,783 but at least it's something. 450 00:23:27,886 --> 00:23:30,653 Don't give up. Richard, come on, not yet. 451 00:23:30,755 --> 00:23:33,189 We've got to hang on, we've got to see what happens. 452 00:23:33,291 --> 00:23:35,091 Something will turn around. I know it will. 453 00:23:36,337 --> 00:23:38,528 - You really believe that? - Absolutely. 454 00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:43,299 Gilfoyle's right, you're... you're a terrible liar. 455 00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:48,371 Just... set an all-hands for tomorrow at 9 a.m. 456 00:23:48,473 --> 00:23:52,175 And I'll... I'll tell the gang. 457 00:23:52,277 --> 00:23:54,010 It's over, Jared. 458 00:23:57,516 --> 00:24:01,284 And lastly, our deal to furnish Endframe boxes 459 00:24:01,386 --> 00:24:04,087 to Maleant Data System Solutions has officially closed, 460 00:24:04,189 --> 00:24:07,187 putting us far ahead of even the most optimistic 461 00:24:07,188 --> 00:24:09,693 profit targets issued by this very board. 462 00:24:09,694 --> 00:24:13,763 Gavin, it appears we owe you an apology. 463 00:24:13,865 --> 00:24:16,699 We'd like to restore your full status as CEO and chair 464 00:24:16,801 --> 00:24:21,104 with a significantly revised bonus and stock options package. 465 00:24:21,206 --> 00:24:23,106 Thank you. 466 00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:25,041 Of course, apology accepted. 467 00:24:25,143 --> 00:24:28,078 I would like nothing more than to move forward 468 00:24:28,180 --> 00:24:30,780 in a harmonious and productive manner. 469 00:24:30,882 --> 00:24:32,582 Actually, with that in mind, 470 00:24:32,684 --> 00:24:35,218 there's something I'd like to show you. 471 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,054 It's outside. Is... is that all right? 472 00:24:38,156 --> 00:24:41,057 A little field trip, if you will? 473 00:24:42,561 --> 00:24:44,660 Just down here. 474 00:24:44,762 --> 00:24:46,229 A little farther. 475 00:24:46,331 --> 00:24:48,364 We're almost there. 476 00:24:48,467 --> 00:24:52,102 Just out here, everyone. Almost there. 477 00:24:58,042 --> 00:24:59,642 Consider the elephant. 478 00:24:59,744 --> 00:25:06,316 Legend has it its memory is so robust it never forgets. 479 00:25:06,418 --> 00:25:08,518 And I assure you, gentlemen of the Hooli board, 480 00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:12,255 and lady, neither do I. 481 00:25:24,562 --> 00:25:27,403 Okay, guys... 482 00:25:27,506 --> 00:25:32,142 we need to have a serious discussion about the future of the company. 483 00:25:34,712 --> 00:25:36,379 What? Why is everyone smiling? 484 00:25:36,481 --> 00:25:38,314 Richard, something happened last night. 485 00:25:38,416 --> 00:25:43,520 The daily active users are up, way up. 486 00:25:43,622 --> 00:25:46,289 - Look at it. - Really? - Look. 487 00:25:46,391 --> 00:25:47,857 - Holy shit! - DAILY ACTIVE USERS: 31,125 488 00:25:47,959 --> 00:25:50,326 Did we just get 7,000 users in a day? 489 00:25:50,428 --> 00:25:51,594 We sure did! We're back! 490 00:25:51,696 --> 00:25:53,796 I don't know if it was the outreach 491 00:25:53,898 --> 00:25:56,932 or the tutorials, but we seem to be getting traction. 492 00:25:57,035 --> 00:25:59,135 Richard, you pulled us out of a nosedive. 493 00:25:59,237 --> 00:26:04,641 Of course, inevitably, we will run out of fuel and plummet towards the Earth, 494 00:26:04,742 --> 00:26:08,278 leaving only a crater behind of torn flesh and excrement, 495 00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:10,713 but in the meantime, we are flying high! 496 00:26:10,815 --> 00:26:12,615 Yeah. I guess we are. 497 00:26:12,717 --> 00:26:15,084 You know, it's crazy, just last night I was... 498 00:26:15,187 --> 00:26:17,987 telling Jared that I thought we should shut down the company. 499 00:26:18,089 --> 00:26:21,257 Well, perfect timing then, huh? 500 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,564 Excuse me. I should get this. 501 00:26:29,067 --> 00:26:30,333 Hey, Jared. 502 00:26:32,737 --> 00:26:35,805 - Are those numbers legit? - Of course. 503 00:26:37,275 --> 00:26:39,975 - All right, then. - This is Jared. 504 00:26:40,078 --> 00:26:42,044 So, are we happy? 505 00:26:42,146 --> 00:26:44,146 Yeah. Worked out great. 506 00:26:44,249 --> 00:26:48,218 So let's keep the 7,000 users that I bought 507 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,321 and add another thousand a day for the next week. 508 00:26:51,423 --> 00:26:53,590 You got it, buddy. 509 00:27:33,651 --> 00:27:35,902 CREATE A NEW ACCOUNT 510 00:27:37,622 --> 00:27:38,780 SUCCESS! ACCOUNT CREATED. 511 00:27:49,747 --> 00:28:59,487 www.TUSUBTITULO.com -DIFUNDE LA CULTURA-