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ERLICH: A little to the right.
The right, more, more.
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00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,442
More. Woof! Aces.
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We did it.
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- Busy?
- Hey, come on in.
5
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I'm just putting the finishing touches
on Bachman's Operational Center.
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Can you believe that I talked the ladies
into letting me keep
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that little piece of genius in here?
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Oh!
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- Sweet.
- Sweet indeed. It's human hair.
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Where have you been?
We've been trying to close your deal.
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Monica and Laurie were really fighting me
on one final deal point
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and lwas getting bummed,
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so I turned my phone off,
went kitesurfing in Fiji.
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When I got back, lwas chill again.
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And I got a message that they agreed.
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- So, you closed.
- Yep.
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What was that one little pesky deal point?
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I think you're gonna like it.
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(SHOUTS) Fuck, yeah!
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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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A keyman clause?
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Yes. And said keyman
is none other than yours truly.
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It's the highest honor
that you can bestow on a VC.
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DINESHI WOW.
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- So, you get shares in the company.
- No.
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- So, you get a seat on the board?
- I do not.
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A bonus.
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There's no cash involved,
but if Monica or Laurie
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tries to oust me from Bream-Hall,
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Keenan Feldspar can void the deal and walk.
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So, basically, this new title just means
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that you for sure
get to keep your shitty desk job.
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Congratulations, but, Erlich,
can you please turn on the heat?
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It's freezing in here.
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Tsk, tsk, Richard. Negativity.
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Have you seen Keenan's demo?
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Reddit is shitting itself over it.
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Of course I've seen it. I'm his keyman.
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He gave me one of the first opportunities
to shit myself over it.
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- It's that good?
- Guys, come on.
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How good can it be? VR is just a fad.
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Oh, Richard, I've forgotten
what an envious little crone you can be.
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Envious? Me, of who?
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- Keenan Feldspar?
- Of course.
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Keenan was born
with a golden horseshoe up his ass,
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while you sit here toiling away
in an icebox you call your home office,
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cursed with the Midas touch of shit.
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I'm not cursed.
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And the icebox you're referring to
is your house, okay?
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(PULL-RING SNAPS)
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What?
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Uh, guys, ljust got a
billing alert from Azure.
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Apparently, all of our
cold data has gone hot,
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so we've already exceeded
our monthly server budget?
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Monthly? Bullshit. It's been four days.
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What the fuck?
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We have to store Melcher's data there
until we have enough phones.
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We can't afford this.
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I'm gonna call Melcher.
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Hey, Richard, how we doing?
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Is there something going on with your data?
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Because it was basically parked
until a few hours ago
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when it started flying on and off
our network like crazy.
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Well, aren't you watching
the Weather Channel?
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No. Why, is there a hurricane or something?
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Worse. It's cold outside.
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Okay. SQ?
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California loses its
mind when it gets cold.
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Citrus trees start freezing.
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Sometimes, there's actual
frost on the road,
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you know, and people
start filing claims like crazy.
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Our whole office is going nuts right now.
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Well, that kind of data traffic
is costing us a fortune.
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That's the beauty of
the deal we made, Richard.
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You agreed to store our
data for a flat rate.
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Everyone else in my division
is getting gouged on their
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storage and bandwidth fees right now,
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but thanks to you, I look like a genius.
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- I'II tell Liz you say hi.
- Oh. Oh, no. No, no. That's okay.
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- What did he say?
- He says, "Hi."
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And that we are responsible
for the overages.
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Fuck.
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- Maybe you are cursed.
- L'm not.
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That's ridiculous. There's no such thing.
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Fucking what?
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Richard, a bill of this size
is going to be problematic.
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Problematic? Catastrophic.
88
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We're not gonna be able to pay that bill
so our server's gonna get cut off.
89
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,136
Which means
we're gonna lose Melcher's data,
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which means he's gonna sue us
and seize our assets and our patents,
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and the entire future
of the fucking Internet
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is gonna belong
to a fucking insurance company.
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I can't take this shit anymore.
Admit it, we're fucked.
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Okay, let's just think. Let's just think.
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Dan Melcher runs
a very conservative insurance company,
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but even he was willing to pay us up front
for data storage, right?
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True.
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00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,720
- Although that was complicated.
- What?
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(STAMMERS) It wasjust
such a "in the weeds" deal.
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Point being, we could find another customer
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and then use that upfront payment
to cover Melcher's fees.
102
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That's like getting a new credit card
to pay off your old credit card.
103
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Yeah, and as CFO, I should tell you
we've already done that seven times.
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Look, I don't have any moral issue
with any of that,
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but it was hard enough to get Melcher,
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how the fuck are we gonna get
a second Melcher?
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(SIGHS)
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It's cold out here.
I can almost see my breath, huh?
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What do you want?
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Well, uh...
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It's just that the guys
are a little agitated
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because we seem to be having
minor money troubles.
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I was thinking since you and Bream-Hall
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signed such a big check
over to Keenan Feldspar,
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and since you're his keyman,
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maybe you could help set up
a data storage deal
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like we had with Melcher.
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Merely tens of minutes ago,
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you were rubbing VR's face
in a pile of its own make.
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That means shit.
And now VR is supposed to be your lifeboat?
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Just to remind you, Erlich,
you are also an investor in Pied Piper.
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It would be good for
everyone, including you.
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Very well.
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Fill me in on the details
of your little proposal.
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Pitch.
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What do you mean? You know the details.
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You were there with me
for every single pitch meeting.
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And I'm sorry that
I wasn't key in those meetings,
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so I don't recall
all of the little nitty-gritty details.
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Saving you 25% on your data storage,
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which makes us pretty deserving
of the Weissman trophy.
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(ALL LAUGHING)
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You know, the Heisman
trophy from athletics.
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Dude, this demo is insane.
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Gentlemen, you're stepping on
Richard's laughs.
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I'm sorry, but I walked up a hill, and on
the top of the hill there was a tavern,
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and I walked into the tavern,
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and I can just look everywhere
and there was a barmaid.
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Guess what? I walked
right up to the barmaid,
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and ljust looked at her
for a really long time.
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This technology could change the world.
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GILFOYLE: I'm not one to gush,
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but the possibilities
of your consequence-free reality
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are darkly promising.
145
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So stoked you guys liked it.
146
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I hacked it together last summer,
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and ljust guessed right
on a lot of the details.
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But if you think that was cool,
wait till you see our final hardware,
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00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,530
which is in en route from China.
It's gorgeous.
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Well, enjoy it while it lasts just 'cause,
you know, this can be a tough business.
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Is it?
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00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:12,851
So, Richard...
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(CLAPS) You wanna try the demo?
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No, thanks. No, I'm not a VR guy.
155
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Richard doesn't like things that are cool
or fun or taste good.
156
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Plus, it makes him queasy.
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He has a sensitive constitution.
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Ah, come on, you're gonna do it.
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Look at him. He's gonna do it.
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It's gonna be awesome. Come on.
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- You're doing it. Come on, come on.
- Sure. lguess.
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- After you.
- Okay.
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00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,203
(TOILET FLUSHES)
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(G ROANS)
165
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Wow. You really vomited a lot.
166
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- And, like, immediately.
- Yeah. Yeah.
167
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Bad luck, I guess.
168
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Yeah, so, (CLEARS THROAT) look, anyway,
about that data storage deal...
169
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Oh, yeah, if Erlich says it works,
that's good enough for me.
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- Let's do it.
- Really?
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- KEENAN: Yeah.
- Okay. Perfect. That's great.
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Um, well, I guess we should
get back to the house,
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- draw up some paperwork for that.
- JARED: Mmm-hmm.
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00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,720
We should be able to
pull everything together by Monday?
175
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,010
Is it cool if we hang out
176
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just to, like, play around
with the VR some more?
177
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,886
Okay, but I'm sure Keenan's busy.
178
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No, you guys should stay.
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You want a beer? ljust put in a fresh keg.
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00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,929
He put in a fresh keg.
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It's so warm in here.
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That would be the subfloor heating.
(LAUGHS)
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00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,685
I didn't even know I had it.
It just came with the house.
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00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,447
GILFOYLEI That's nice.
185
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,571
What are you telling me?
Box Two is delayed?
186
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,367
We were already facing some design
and production challenges,
187
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,044
but then this cold snap happened.
188
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,256
Apparently, there was frost
on the loading dock
189
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,009
at our microprocessor plant in Acton.
190
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,209
So, it's cold outside.
191
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,250
Why does everyone in this state
have to be such a wimp about it?
192
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,527
Well, a semi-truck slid
right through the door
193
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:52,524
and hit the main breaker panel
and melted down the entire facility.
194
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,921
The driver was incinerated instantly.
195
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,521
I see. Well, thoughts
and prayers, obviously.
196
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,450
But we'll still be ready to roll
out in time for Hoolicon, right?
197
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,370
Guys, hey, I'm not Gavin Belson. (CHUCKLES)
198
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,925
You can be honest with me.
199
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,490
How many days will this set us back?
200
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,606
We're going to miss delivery of product
by two quarters.
201
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,322
You realize Hoolicon is in one week, right?
202
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,803
I mean, it's my first Hoolicon
as CEO of this company.
203
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,642
I'm supposed to get up on stage
204
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,002
in front of an audience of thousands
205
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:37,041
and deliver a keynote presentation built
entirely around the release of Box Two.
206
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:42,802
I was going to descend
onto the stage in a giant box.
207
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,211
Boom!
208
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:45,520
Jack in the box.
209
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,043
Then Mike Tyson and Floyd Mayweather
were gonna come out and box
210
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,600
over who was gonna get to take home
the first new Box.
211
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,684
These are world-class puns!
Now, I got nothing.
212
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:00,521
Hello?
213
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:02,841
(LAUGHS) Hey, guys-
214
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,371
I have something to show you.
215
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,961
- Have you been here all weekend?
- Ls that the sushi guy?
216
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,606
(CHUCKLES) Matching pajamas.
217
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,680
You guys look like you're in a cult.
218
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,484
Oh. Keenan gets these for free.
219
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,696
Yeah, we're not gonna wear the same thing
three days straight.
220
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:17,920
You gotta come check this out.
221
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:19,681
This way.
222
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,210
(SIGHS)
223
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:26,801
Wow.
224
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,611
I didn't feel sick at all. Not once.
225
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,844
- Not even going up the hill?
- No.
226
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:33,971
No nausea at all.
227
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,565
Yeah, I felt fine the entire time.
228
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,771
What did you do, did you
reduce the latency?
229
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,849
I didn't. You did.
230
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,496
Dinesh and Gilfoyle helped me integrate
231
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,560
your middle-out
compression algorithm into my codec.
232
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,736
- L'm sorry, what?
- Lt's off the charts now, man.
233
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,696
We were even able to push
the barmaid to the cloud.
234
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,529
These two guys are mad geniuses.
235
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,960
Hang on, I have something for you.
236
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,240
Mmm-hmm.
237
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,681
What the fuck?
238
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:02,690
You just gave our proprietary technology
to this asshole
239
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,081
without even running it by me first.
Are you serious?
240
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,891
Well, we were just hanging out,
and he was like, "We should try it,"
241
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,736
and he said we could delete it,
and then he started getting really excited.
242
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,016
And then he said, you know,
"You're doing it," a bunch of times,
243
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,328
and then we did it,
and then we started getting really excited.
244
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,926
- And it was so exciting.
- And it worked.
245
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,445
The VR is rad now.
246
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,450
Gilfoyle, "rad"?
247
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,770
You are wearing
the exact same pajamas as Dinesh
248
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,285
and you're saying "rad" now?
249
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,360
You have been sucked entirely
into his little Keenan vortex.
250
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,441
Okay.
251
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,126
I grant you with (CLEARS THROAT)
the benefit of even a second's distance,
252
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,561
this isn't a good look.
253
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,449
I don't know. I think we look rad.
254
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,771
- Just hear Keenan out, okay?
- On what?
255
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,841
Here you go, Richard.
256
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,044
- What's this?
- Lt's an offer.
257
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,805
Iwant to acquire Pied Piper.
258
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,883
- Oh.
- (CHUCKLES)
259
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,246
(KEENAN LAUGHS)
260
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,401
JACK: Bingo.
261
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,041
2009, the HooliPad touchscreen
262
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,886
was recalled five days before
Gavin Belson's Hoolicon keynote.
263
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,442
Now, if he can pull something together
that fast, certainly I can.
264
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,576
Well, sir, I really don't see the value
in you comparing yourself
265
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:11,806
so closely to Gavin Belson.
266
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,720
Meaning what, exactly?
267
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,606
Nothing. Just that
268
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,409
he's considered the greatest showman
the tech world has ever seen.
269
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,681
(KEYBOARD CLACKS)
270
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,809
I mean, just look at him.
271
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:27,249
We've blown away
the FIPS 140-2 standard for security,
272
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,770
and that's been certified by NIST/CSE,
as you can see.
273
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,888
- JAC K: Wow.
- There.
274
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,440
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- (SIGHS) Look at the confidence, the poise.
275
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:37,885
Look at the stage presence.
276
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,849
It is accessible,
277
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:41,806
here we go,
278
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,888
through the dropdown menu there.
279
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,496
- (CROWD CHEERING ON SPEAKERS)
- How could I top that?
280
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,761
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, I don't think anyone ever will.
281
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,760
HOOVER: When he looked at you,
282
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,256
you felt like you were
the only two people in the world.
283
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,281
Hoover?
284
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:56,840
Yes, sir?
285
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,336
- Get the fuck out of my office this instant.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
286
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,361
Sorry, sir.
287
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,728
Anyone here use our enterprise server?
288
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,816
We've taken secure authentication
to a whole other level.
289
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,128
Jack Barker, you're gonna need a miracle.
290
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,045
Anyone care to talk secure biometrics?
291
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,128
Well, considering our looming debts
and the embryonic state of our network,
292
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,282
this is a very generous offer.
293
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,164
But we're not for sale, guys.
294
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,323
Richard, listen, it's like we've been
lost at sea for a long time
295
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,402
in a tiny boat and there is no wind,
296
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,450
and now, through sheer luck,
297
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,602
we've just happened
to drift right up to Hawaii.
298
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,528
Now, we can continue
sailing into the unknown
299
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,570
and probably sink,
or die of starvation, or scurvy,
300
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,166
or we can get off in Hawaii.
301
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,164
Let's get off in Hawaii.
302
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,560
What's so good about Hawaii?
303
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,443
- Have you never been?
- No.
304
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,047
It's very nice.
305
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:47,521
I think we should take it.
306
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,967
Okay, everything
Keenan touches turns to gold
307
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,965
and you are different than that.
308
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:56,970
I want to go to Hawaii.
309
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,609
Fucking Keenan Feldspar.
310
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,560
How dare he put me in this position.
311
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,206
Everything just comes so easy to him.
312
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,976
He invents one little thing,
and then he's gonna make a billion dollars
313
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,526
and just, "Keenan Feldspar
gets whatever he wants,"
314
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,840
and now I have to be the ogre
that says no to him. Great.
315
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,527
Richard, you are my captain,
and I'm your mate,
316
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:22,207
and I will sleep in the bilge with
the vermin and lwill eat hardtack,
317
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:23,281
and I will say thank you.
318
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,407
And if duty requires,
I will stand on deck and I will salute you
319
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,686
as we sink beneath the waves.
320
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:33,449
But as poor as our odds are, I'm worried
that if we turn down this offer,
321
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:34,920
we will lose the rest of our crew,
322
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,930
and if that happens,
we will lose everything, Richard.
323
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:39,926
Your algorithm.
324
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,565
So, you're saying that if I say no to this,
325
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,244
I risk having a mutiny on my hands.
326
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:49,964
Aye, Captain.
327
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,321
Thanks.
328
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,241
(SCOFFS)
329
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,330
Fuck you, Keenan Feldspar.
330
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,766
Whoa.
331
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,321
Problem?
332
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,925
Your counteroffer here
is really, really high.
333
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,561
Yes, but after crunching
the old numbies, um,
334
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,802
there's no way we could make
an acquisition work
335
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,080
for even just a penny less
than that number right there.
336
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,969
You know, what with the patent and the IP.
337
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,042
And you said it yourself,
my guys are the best.
338
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,290
So, Keenan, as you know,
the best is expensive.
339
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,011
This is more than ljust took in funding
from Bream-Hall,
340
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,810
and you want all cash.
341
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,851
- I can't do that.
- Really?
342
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,202
Aw. Rats.
343
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,401
Rats, rats, rats.
344
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:40,687
(SIGHS)
345
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:41,761
Weird.
346
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,202
I wanted this to happen, but it didn't.
347
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,811
That sucks. lwanted it, too. Very badly.
348
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,281
But, you know what they say in life,
349
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,520
"You can't always get what you want."
350
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,006
This feeling sucks.
351
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,720
Trust me, you get used to it.
352
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,164
GILFOYLE: Wait, Keenan said no?
353
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,761
To us?
354
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,127
I guess you can never really know someone
355
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,567
until you ask them to put their money
where their mouth is.
356
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,126
Yeah, kind of a shitty thing to do.
357
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,004
Kind 0f a shitty little dude.
358
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,449
Anyway, lesson learned.
359
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,564
Anyhoo, as soon as Erlich comes in
360
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:24,368
and brings us our signed data storage
contract from Keenan, we'll be all set.
361
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,567
We'll be back in business.
362
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,211
Huh? Go team.
363
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,806
Let's celebrate. Let's, uh, put
on some music. We never do that.
364
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:30,921
What was the number?
365
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,008
- What number?
- Your counteroffer to Keenan,
366
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,880
what was the number
you went back to him with?
367
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,856
Gilfoyle, to be honest,
these deals are pretty complicated.
368
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,962
Richard, what was the number?
369
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,610
Twenty-five million fucking dollars.
370
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,764
- Wait, what?
- You heard the man-child right.
371
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,169
Richie had the quail eggs
to counter $25 million.
372
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,850
- Isn't that right, Richard?
- What?
373
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,331
That's fucking crazy.
374
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,010
Yeah, I thought so, too.
375
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,806
But you know what's even crazier than that?
376
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,726
You guys got yourself a fucking deal.
377
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,360
What?
378
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,601
(KEENAN LAUGHS)
379
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,126
Okay, so, this is $25 million?
This is real?
380
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,486
- As crystal.
- Yeah.
381
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,200
I'm not gonna lie,
when you first told me that number,
382
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,330
I had a feeling of mad.
383
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,849
But then I had lunch
and after that I was a little tired,
384
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,285
but I mostly felt pretty okay.
385
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:26,568
And that's when it hit me,
this is a guy who knows how valuable he is.
386
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,644
It got me to thinking that perhaps
I've undervalued my own company.
387
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,043
Especially because
now I have this baller algorithm
388
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,576
that's solving all my latency issues.
389
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,601
Well, my algorithm.
390
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,809
So, I called Big Cat here,
and we slid that new demo over to Raviga.
391
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,722
Ed Chen liked it so much he offered
to triple the Bream-Hall deal.
392
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,770
But the Bream-Hall deal is signed,
it's done, right?
393
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,121
Was done.
394
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,682
Enter the keyman, the Big Cat.
395
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:55,847
You see, if I quit Bream-Hall, then
Keenan is free to do whatever he wants.
396
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,604
You quit Bream-Hall?
397
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,800
Two hours ago.
398
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,049
Ten minutes later,
we were in a handshake deal at Raviga.
399
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,930
This adorable little wombat
made clear his intentions
400
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,243
that he wants me to be
the new COO of his company,
401
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,527
along with a 5% stake.
402
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,164
And now we can all work together
on this dope-ass shit
403
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,408
and make a fuck-ton of money
while we're doing it.
404
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,801
See, it always works out.
405
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,281
- It does. Who's drinking? To the palapa.
- Yeah.
406
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,765
Pour me one, Big Cat.
407
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,125
Jared, there's no pink glasses.
408
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,682
Richard, I know you think
I'm a bullshit artist.
409
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,042
It's okay. I totally am.
410
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,289
I have this gift where I can make people do
whatever I want them to do,
411
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,056
- and they don't even realize they're doing it.
- Right.
412
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,004
Richard, you have the greatest technology
that I've ever seen.
413
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,480
You could change the fucking world.
414
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,642
You just have to get
people excited about it.
415
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:43,721
That's where I come in.
416
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,361
You and me together, bro,
look how strong this is.
417
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,487
Fucking forget about it.
418
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,291
We're going to be fucking cutting class
and crushing ass.
419
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,243
You really think that you can
get people excited about Pied Piper?
420
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,801
Richard, that's what I do.
421
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,483
You know you're doing it. I can see it.
422
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,961
- He knows.
- Well...
423
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,576
- The wheels are already turning.
- Maybe.
424
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,040
Come on, you know you're fucking doing it.
Let's do it, buddy.
425
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,282
- Let's fucking do it. Come on.
- Okay. Yeah. Okay.
426
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:09,681
(ALL LAUGHING)
427
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,216
- All right, here you go.
- L'm just gonna wait.
428
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,288
- Okay. Here you are.
- Yeah.
429
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,771
KEENAN: Get out there.
430
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,401
(SIGHS)
431
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,811
- Richard...
- RICHARD: Yeah.
432
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:20,927
Are we okay?
433
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,162
Uh, no, Jared, we're not okay.
434
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,241
We're fucking rich.
435
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,163
(CHEERING)
436
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,607
Whoo!
437
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,808
Sorry, it's a bit nutty around here.
438
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,441
Yeah, (CLEARS THROAT)
well, ljust want to say
439
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,047
how sorry I am that Erlich
flaked on you guys.
440
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,567
Not your fault.
441
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:58,529
Also, and I know this might piss you off
to some degree...
442
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,411
I have decided to make a deal
with Keenan Feldspar.
443
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,126
What? Why?
444
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,090
He made a really good offer.
445
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,446
Lots of money.
446
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,688
And, look, he's got my back.
447
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,242
Right, well, it's not like him
to talk you into a deal
448
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,163
and then just totally fuck you over.
449
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,281
Yeah.
450
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,131
No, look, he's copped up to all that.
451
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,727
I mean, he was very honest
about the whole Keenan vortex thing, so...
452
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,776
Well, you don't think his
discussing the vortex
453
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,723
is just a way of pulling
you into the vortex?
454
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,083
No, why would he...
455
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:32,646
Son of a bitch.
456
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,121
Yeah.
457
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,082
Okay, look, Richard... (SIGHS)
458
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,768
What I'm about to tell you
is a huge breach of ethics,
459
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,491
but it's going to save you
from making a big mistake,
460
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,287
Keenan and Erlich's little keyman game
461
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:52,284
is the greatest thing
that happened to this firm.
462
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,806
I'd like to hear why.
463
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,889
A, no more Erlich.
464
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,765
And if that weren't enough,
we get our $20 million back.
465
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,763
But the biggest reason is that we realized
466
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,367
once we took a look under the hood,
Keenan's tech is dog shit.
467
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,768
No. No, it's not dog shit.
468
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,407
I thought so, too, but then I tried
the demo, and it's pretty amazing.
469
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,450
There's this point in the tavern
where you meet this barmaid
470
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,047
and you can look wherever you want
however long you want.
471
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,286
Yeah, well, um...
472
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,522
Look, the demo is amazing.
473
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,883
When you run it on a $10,000 rig.
474
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,088
But the future of VR is mobile,
475
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,136
and there's no phone on Earth
that could handle that demo,
476
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,924
let alone the full bloated platform.
477
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,004
Isn't that why Keenan has acquired us?
478
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,730
I mean, to help him figure that out?
479
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,802
No, he just wants you
to make the demo better
480
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,406
so he can take as much money
off the table as he can.
481
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,561
He'll walk away rich,
482
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,962
the company will crater,
and you will go down with it.
483
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,247
And that would be the end of Pied Piper.
484
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,689
Look, Richard, you have to tell Keenan
that you're not going to take this deal.
485
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,251
(SIGHS)
486
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,489
Fuck. What do I do?
487
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,531
How am I supposed to tell the guys
that I'm taking away their payday?
488
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:58,687
You don't understand.
489
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,760
Keenan had us pouring champagne
all over each other
490
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,291
like a bunch of fucking douchebags.
491
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,289
I honestly don't think they even care
that the tech is shit.
492
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,606
Theyjust wanna go to Hawaii.
493
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,686
- Hawaii?
- Lt's a metaphor we've been using.
494
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,085
Um, we are pirates and our ship is sinking,
495
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,564
and Keenan is Hawaii.
496
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,208
This is what you talk about all day?
497
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,843
Look, (CLEARS THROAT)
this deal was our only hope.
498
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:24,690
And with all due respect, uh,
499
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:29,409
you run your own firm and you're not exactly
jumping at the chance to fund us, are you?
500
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,403
Because you're still theoretical.
501
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:32,536
Look, I'll make you a promise.
502
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,324
If you can get all of Melcher's data
503
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,450
onto a stable network of mobile devices
and prove that this works,
504
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,449
- I will fund your A-round.
- Really?
505
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,806
You have my word.
506
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,162
But you have to tell Keenan, "No deal."
507
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,164
Uh, guys?
508
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,607
Oh, he came in the front this time.
509
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,040
(GILFOYLE CLEARS THROAT)
510
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,606
So, we need to talk to you.
511
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,604
You need to talk to me?
512
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,530
You may want to have a seat.
513
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,166
Okay.
514
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:27,207
(CLEARS TH ROAT)
515
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,849
ls that a new sweater?
516
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,482
Hey, Richard, there's some bad news.
517
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,365
Richard, right before
Keenan signed the Raviga deal,
518
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:45,367
somebody else swooped in and offered him
an absurd amount of money for his company.
519
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,251
And he took it.
520
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,527
Really?
521
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,084
So, Keenan sold his company?
522
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,921
Deal's off the table.
523
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,843
We're not going to Hawaii.
524
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,606
Oh.
525
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,446
No.
526
00:23:58,760 --> 00:23:59,886
Oh.
527
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,480
No. (SIGHS)
528
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,123
Listen, Richard, we know you fought
really hard for this deal.
529
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,611
We will never forget that.
530
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,446
Yeah, I did. And lwould gladly fight for it
and you guys again.
531
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,046
Gosh. Damn.
532
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,810
Argh.
533
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,725
You don't seem that mad.
534
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,848
Iam. lam, Gilfoyle. I'm pissed.
535
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,924
If you need to kick another hole
in the door, we'd understand.
536
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,008
Yeah. No, I might have to.
537
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,406
Really. I just...
538
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,284
If I don't calm down, I will...
539
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,050
I will take you up on that.
540
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,646
Who, uh...
541
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,401
Who did he sell to?
542
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,884
The only other company that could
guarantee viable middle-out compression.
543
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,846
- Hooli.
- GILFOYLE: Yep.
544
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:43,570
Hooli? He sold to Hooli.
545
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:44,721
(CLICKS TONGUE)
546
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,336
- What a dick move.
- GILFOYLE: Yeah.
547
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,442
I mean, that's not the half of it.
548
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,690
And once he figured out what
Erlich's 5% would be worth,
549
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:52,920
he left him out in the cold.
550
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,880
What, he got Erlich to quit his job,
and then cut him out of the deal?
551
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,089
- GILFOYLE: Mmm-hmm.
- Jesus.
552
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,607
We thought you were cursed, but maybe
it was just your proximity to Erlich.
553
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:09,688
I mean, that dude must have driven a van
over a bunch of gypsies in a previous life.
554
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:11,961
Where is he?
555
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,730
I saw him grab his lighter and bong
556
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,167
and head out to the palapa
to sulk a few minutes ago.
557
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:20,930
Isn't that his bong right there?
558
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,487
Well, shit.
559
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,602
(FIRE CRACKLING)
560
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,287
Guys, there's a fire.
We need the fire guys.
561
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:37,600
Someone call the fire guys.
562
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:40,281
Erlich?
563
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:01,401
Hey, buddy.
564
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,651
Still not talking?
565
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,561
You've been out here all night.
It's freezing.
566
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,687
Sure you don't want to come back inside?
567
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:11,846
(SIGHS)
568
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,046
Yeah, it was a nice palapa.
569
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,403
Well, the concrete's still pretty warm
from the fire.
570
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,720
He should be okay for at least
a few more hours.
571
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,207
Well, that's probably longer
than we'll be in business.
572
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,002
Yeah, we got our first
past due notice from Azure.
573
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,441
They said we have five business days
till they cut us off.
574
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,366
If you guys want to feel
worse, check this out.
575
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,450
JACK: (ON SPEAKERS)
Come join us for an epic gathering
576
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,844
where we come together as one people,
as visionaries.
577
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,762
MAN: Is this not the most exciting time
to be in technology?
578
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,536
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- The whole thing is just, like, wow.
579
00:26:54,560 --> 00:27:00,203
JACK: The most transformative
technology event in the world, Hoolicon.
580
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,850
See you all at Hoolicon.
581
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,650
I hope you're excited.
582
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,724
- / know "VR."
- Yeah, "VR. "
583
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,128
Fucking Keenan Feldspar.
584
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,647
Jared, how many people attend Hoolicon?
585
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,680
About a quarter of a million
over the whole weekend.
586
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:22,725
And, Gilfoyle, um, how many more phones
do we need to get us off Azure?
587
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,884
123,000, give or take.
588
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,884
Dinesh, how much are tickets to Hoolicon?
589
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,650
Why would I have that information?
590
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,608
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)