1
00:00:00,492 --> 00:00:01,834
Jian-Yang, are...
are you copying
2
00:00:01,834 --> 00:00:03,916
all those companies
for the Chinese markets?
3
00:00:04,542 --> 00:00:06,375
- Oh, no.
- (MUSIC PLAYING)
4
00:00:07,625 --> 00:00:09,208
RICHARD HENDRICKS: Are you suggesting that
5
00:00:09,208 --> 00:00:11,916
someone in here is leaking info
to Gavin Belson?
6
00:00:11,916 --> 00:00:13,750
Tell me about these... fridges.
7
00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:15,292
(WHISPERING)
It's a company secret.
8
00:00:15,292 --> 00:00:17,667
Do you want to save a fortune,
or not?
9
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:18,542
Well, yes.
10
00:00:18,834 --> 00:00:20,792
In exchange, I need you to do
something for me,
11
00:00:20,792 --> 00:00:23,000
with regard to the people
who hacked your refrigerators.
12
00:00:23,250 --> 00:00:24,916
I'm going to destroy
their lives.
13
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:28,834
Jared, do you think it's...
time we hire a COO?
14
00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:30,709
You're 20-30 pounds underweight.
15
00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:31,958
Don't worry about him.
16
00:00:31,958 --> 00:00:34,000
We're gonna find you
a much better COO.
17
00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:35,792
You want the job?
18
00:00:36,375 --> 00:00:39,292
- (GASPS, SOBS)
- All right... Ugh. All right.
19
00:00:46,958 --> 00:00:49,458
Okay, everybody, um,
thanks for coming.
20
00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:50,792
Uh, sorry about the venue.
21
00:00:50,792 --> 00:00:53,292
We had a minor security issue.
22
00:00:53,292 --> 00:00:54,542
I didn't feel comfortable
23
00:00:54,542 --> 00:00:56,208
hosting you guys at...
at our offices.
24
00:00:56,208 --> 00:00:58,083
But, hey, at least out here,
25
00:00:58,083 --> 00:00:59,458
we don't run the risk
26
00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:01,458
of running into anyone
from the tech industry.
27
00:01:01,458 --> 00:01:03,834
(balls clack)
Yeah, they're all so old.
28
00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:05,916
But they look so happy.
Yeah.
29
00:01:05,916 --> 00:01:07,417
Richard: It's weird.
30
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:09,375
I don't understand it either.
31
00:01:09,375 --> 00:01:11,208
Anyway, I wanted
you guys to meet,
32
00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:14,166
because despite
being a very diverse
33
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:16,750
and talented group of
young web developers...
34
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:19,875
Goodscape, huh?
Social coding platform.
35
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:21,916
Tholio, analytics firm.
36
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,584
Plucky, music streaming.
37
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,083
FirstSight, dating site.
38
00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,584
Gay dating site.
39
00:01:26,584 --> 00:01:29,250
Okay, technically,
you're a dating site,
40
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:31,250
but specifically, a gay one.
41
00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:33,375
Which is a subset,
so I'm not wrong.
42
00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,667
Anyway, uh, despite
all our differences,
43
00:01:35,667 --> 00:01:38,125
we all have one thing
in common, right?
44
00:01:38,125 --> 00:01:40,041
A signed agreement with me
45
00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:42,584
to build and launch
your websites,
46
00:01:42,584 --> 00:01:45,750
not on the tired,
bloated, old web,
47
00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:49,000
but on the new
Internet of the future.
48
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,375
The Pipernet.
49
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:53,333
Which is why,
from this day forward,
50
00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,333
I'm going to be naming
the eight of you...
51
00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:56,916
the OctoPipers.
52
00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:01,417
Until something better, TBD.
53
00:02:01,417 --> 00:02:02,709
So when can we tell people?
54
00:02:02,709 --> 00:02:04,125
Soon! Actually, very soon.
55
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:07,709
Uh, next Tuesday,
Gavin Belson is, uh...
56
00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:09,208
launching his Box Three.
57
00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:11,208
So, um, the day before,
58
00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:14,584
we are going to announce
our partnerships with you all,
59
00:02:14,584 --> 00:02:16,083
and beat him to the punch.
60
00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:18,000
Shit. He's gonna be
super pissed.
61
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,625
Man: He's really
gonna come after us.
62
00:02:19,625 --> 00:02:21,916
Yeah, he is, but fuck him.
63
00:02:21,916 --> 00:02:23,458
Not butt fuck him.
64
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:25,375
Just...
You don't have to explain
65
00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:27,417
that kinda stuff.
I-I know what you mean.
66
00:02:27,417 --> 00:02:29,292
Yeah, I know. Look... look.
67
00:02:29,292 --> 00:02:31,292
As long as we stick together,
68
00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,458
and support each other,
we can crush him.
69
00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,875
Because what we are doing
is amazing, okay?
70
00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:38,083
We are building the world's
first truly open,
71
00:02:38,083 --> 00:02:41,166
truly free
de-centralized Internet.
72
00:02:41,166 --> 00:02:44,625
And I tell you what, I got a sneak
preview for you guys, okay?
73
00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:46,292
Because as of this morning,
74
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:49,500
messaging is live.
What!
75
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,375
Cool.
Yeah.
76
00:02:51,375 --> 00:02:52,834
Really? So cool!
77
00:02:52,834 --> 00:02:54,417
So...
78
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:56,667
right now,
I will send to you all
79
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:58,166
the very first message
80
00:02:58,166 --> 00:03:01,958
ever to be sent on a de-centralized,
peer-to-peer Internet.
81
00:03:01,958 --> 00:03:03,667
Ready?
(phone clicking)
82
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:05,125
(sent message notification)
83
00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:06,834
"Hit her."
(phones dinging)
84
00:03:06,834 --> 00:03:09,667
I don't get it.
Are you talking about me?
85
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,000
I meant to say "Hi there."
86
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,333
Well, it definitely
says "Hit her."
87
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:15,166
I'll try it again. There's a new one.
(phone clicking)
88
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:16,792
There. "Hi there."
(sent message notification)
89
00:03:16,792 --> 00:03:18,709
"Hi there, Hitler."
(phones ding)
90
00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:19,834
(whispers)
Goddammit.
91
00:03:20,875 --> 00:03:22,041
Hey, Richard?
92
00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:23,333
You don't have any issue with us
93
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,834
being an exclusively
gay site, do you?
94
00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:26,834
What? No!
95
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:28,500
No, it's...
it's totally cool.
96
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,542
Oh! Wait a minute, no,
I don't mean you are anti-gay.
97
00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:33,041
I mean the opposite.
Like, are you worried
98
00:03:33,041 --> 00:03:34,958
that we're excluding
straight people?
99
00:03:34,958 --> 00:03:36,208
Oh.
I just remember you said,
100
00:03:36,208 --> 00:03:38,625
you want your new Internet
to be open for everybody,
101
00:03:38,625 --> 00:03:41,500
and, you know, I just want to make
sure we're jibing with your vision.
102
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:44,000
Deedee, we are psyched
to have you aboard.
103
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,333
Exclude all the straight people you want.
(chuckles)
104
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,500
You sure?
Yep.
105
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,458
Because we're not snobs about it.
(chuckles)
106
00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:50,875
I mean, between you and me,
107
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,041
I'm dreadfully boring.
108
00:03:52,041 --> 00:03:54,125
I might as well
be straight myself.
109
00:03:54,125 --> 00:03:56,000
I've been with the same
man for seven years.
110
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,458
I go to church every Sunday.
111
00:03:57,458 --> 00:03:58,542
Look, it... it's all good.
112
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:01,333
FirstSight is a gay dating site.
113
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:04,083
And... and I will sing it
from the rooftops.
114
00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:05,292
Alright, well,
thank you, Richard.
115
00:04:05,292 --> 00:04:06,542
I think this is gonna be great.
116
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:07,750
Cool.
117
00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,667
Yeah.
Okay.
118
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,584
Don't be weird. I didn't
know what we'd be doing.
119
00:04:12,584 --> 00:04:14,584
♪ ♪
120
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:18,834
Richard: So...
121
00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:20,667
everybody is very psyched.
122
00:04:20,667 --> 00:04:22,750
You know who else is psyched?
I'll give you a hint.
123
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:25,709
They have four thumbs,
and they are these two guys.
124
00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:27,875
I am very excited.
I am giddy!
125
00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:29,584
Okay, what...
what happened?
126
00:04:29,584 --> 00:04:31,584
We found the mole.
127
00:04:31,584 --> 00:04:32,875
What?
Yeah.
128
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:34,166
Who? How?
129
00:04:34,166 --> 00:04:35,875
Good old-fashioned police work.
130
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:39,041
I skimmed through all 40,000
of the staff's outgoing emails.
131
00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:40,584
Yeah?
And in addition to learning
132
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,792
that we need to revise
the office dating policy,
133
00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:45,417
because it is, essentially,
the Olympic Village out there,
134
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:47,500
I learned that
someone has been sending
135
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,083
a number of encrypted messages
136
00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:51,375
but using Gilfoyle's
purloined NSA tools...
137
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:54,458
I can't hold this smile forever, Jared.
Get to the good stuff.
138
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:57,208
One of our coders
has been sending info
139
00:04:57,208 --> 00:04:58,750
straight to Hooli High Command.
140
00:05:01,625 --> 00:05:02,875
Richard: Wow.
141
00:05:02,875 --> 00:05:05,417
How the fuck did the mole
get all this information?
142
00:05:05,417 --> 00:05:09,292
By exploiting our most
glaring weakness.
143
00:05:09,292 --> 00:05:11,417
(off-key) ♪ You were
working as a waitress ♪
144
00:05:11,417 --> 00:05:13,584
♪ In a cocktail bar ♪
145
00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:17,125
♪ When I met Jeff ♪
146
00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:27,166
== Synced & corrected by MaxPayne ==
147
00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:29,916
No, no, no.
You guys have it all wrong.
148
00:05:29,916 --> 00:05:31,958
Okay? There's no way
Jeff is the mole.
149
00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:33,584
Okay? It's not Jeff.
150
00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:35,292
(nail gun discharges)
Right, Jeff?
151
00:05:35,292 --> 00:05:36,375
(clank)
152
00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:38,000
Jeff?
153
00:05:39,041 --> 00:05:40,875
What about
Dave & Buster's, Jeff?
154
00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,041
What about that time
I got a bullseye in Skee-Ball
155
00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:45,208
and yelled out, "Bazinga!"
156
00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:46,834
And you said, "Okay."
157
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:48,875
You can't fake
enthusiasm like that.
158
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:51,500
Well, I did.
159
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,208
(nail gun discharges)
Jared: You Judas.
160
00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:55,208
You cow-handed poltroon!
161
00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:57,000
We... We thought
you were a Stallion!
162
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,834
You're no Stallion.
(nail gun discharges)
163
00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:00,500
What is it with you guys
and stallions?
164
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,667
What's with you
being a rat fuck?
165
00:06:02,667 --> 00:06:05,834
You signed a very aggressive
Non-Disclosure Agreement...
166
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:07,667
(nail gun discharges) which
you are in breach of.
167
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:10,667
(nail gun continues) Which means,
we can fire you, obviously,
168
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:14,000
and then have you arrested,
and thrown in jail.
169
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,417
But Gavin would then
know we are on to you,
170
00:06:17,417 --> 00:06:19,916
so here's the deal.
171
00:06:19,916 --> 00:06:21,916
You're gonna come
into the office every day,
172
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,792
and sit down at your
fucking workstation,
173
00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:25,542
and pretend like
nothing's wrong.
174
00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:26,750
(sighs)
Fine.
175
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:27,875
(discharges)
176
00:06:27,875 --> 00:06:29,542
Uh, that was mine.
177
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:33,000
Bummer.
178
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,041
"The irony is, the Internet,
which we all use
179
00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:37,875
"to search for
billions of things,
180
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:42,000
"has itself long been
searching for something.
181
00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:44,958
And here it is."
182
00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:46,834
Okay, then I turn and gesture.
183
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,667
(serene music playing)
184
00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:52,875
"The Box Three.
185
00:06:52,875 --> 00:06:54,916
Signature Edition."
186
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,417
Then I come back to the podium.
187
00:06:59,709 --> 00:07:01,333
"I put my name on this,
188
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,834
"because I personally
stand behind
189
00:07:03,834 --> 00:07:08,834
"the new SAS-slash
SSD-slash-NVMe drive bays,
190
00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:11,041
"the 24-core processors.
191
00:07:11,041 --> 00:07:16,584
"I stand behind the ECC DDR4
SD-RAM LR-DIMMs
192
00:07:16,584 --> 00:07:19,916
"and their exceptional
reliability.
193
00:07:19,916 --> 00:07:21,916
Will you stand with me?"
194
00:07:21,916 --> 00:07:23,584
(applause)
195
00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:30,584
(sets bottle down)
(sighs)
196
00:07:33,584 --> 00:07:35,500
About the spotlight,
should it be wider?
197
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,083
I had the same thought.
As did I.
198
00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:38,916
I can speak with the technical team.
Please.
199
00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:41,750
Any word from our mole
at Pied Piper?
200
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,584
I'm confident that if there
were anything to report,
201
00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:45,083
we'd have heard
about it by now, sir.
202
00:07:45,083 --> 00:07:46,500
Alright!
203
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,041
I'm off to Jackson Hole for a
couple of days to clear my mind,
204
00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:50,333
and center myself.
205
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,834
I'll be off the grid. Not to
be disturbed for any reason.
206
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:54,292
Understood?
Scott: Absolutely.
207
00:07:54,292 --> 00:07:57,000
Is there anything else you'd
like us to take care of? Oh.
208
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,750
The bear is sticky with honey.
209
00:07:58,750 --> 00:07:59,958
See ya soon.
210
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:09,166
"The bear is sticky with honey."
211
00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:10,916
What does he mean by that?
212
00:08:10,916 --> 00:08:12,958
I don't know.
213
00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:14,958
Hello, Stallions.
214
00:08:14,958 --> 00:08:18,375
You continue to be
the best of the best.
215
00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:20,625
I commend you.
216
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:21,792
And then there's you.
217
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,000
The anti-Stallion.
218
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,333
Move your hand off
your fucking mouse, now.
219
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:33,000
And I was going to take you
to see BattleBots live with me,
220
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,333
but no longer... "friend."
221
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:37,542
Now who looks stupid?
222
00:08:37,542 --> 00:08:38,709
♪ ♪
223
00:08:38,709 --> 00:08:40,333
Yeah, so, um...
224
00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:43,792
our new developers
just agreed to our terms,
225
00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:46,041
Richard (on phone): And are
now officially on board.
226
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:49,292
Richard is a master
at getting consent.
227
00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:51,333
That's great news, guys.
228
00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:52,667
Eight new partners.
229
00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:55,875
Yeah! Actually, we're calling
them the OctoPipers.
230
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,542
Uh, until a better name
comes along.
231
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,667
Just wanted to give
that one its day in court.
232
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:06,125
Well, we have some more
good news for you, Richard.
233
00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:07,125
You remember last year,
234
00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:09,041
Laurie and I funded
K-Hole Games?
235
00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:11,375
Largest independent gaming
company in the Valley?
236
00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,375
Uh, yeah, of course!
237
00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:16,041
Um, actually, now that
you... you bring them up,
238
00:09:16,041 --> 00:09:17,834
I-I didn't want to
be too forward,
239
00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:19,709
but I was hoping that one day,
240
00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:22,542
we could talk to them
about joining our 'net.
241
00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,834
Well, what if I told you
that day is today?
242
00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:25,834
What?
243
00:09:25,834 --> 00:09:28,208
In addition to being
business associates,
244
00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:30,667
the CEO and I take
medically prescribed
245
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,542
and supervised MDMA together.
246
00:09:32,542 --> 00:09:35,083
I'm taking it for severe
post-partum depression.
247
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,542
I do not know
why he is taking it.
248
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:39,750
Regardless, when
I saw him yesterday,
249
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:43,542
he was quite euphoric about
speaking to you regarding a deal.
250
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,208
K-Hole?
The creators of the game
251
00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:47,750
"Undead Sex Offender"?
They're... they're huge.
252
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:51,417
Yeah! Yeah, partnering with a
company of that size this early
253
00:09:51,417 --> 00:09:52,916
would put us months ahead.
254
00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:55,125
This is not a done deal.
255
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:58,125
K-Hole is protective
of its brand.
256
00:09:58,125 --> 00:09:59,584
They will want to speak to you
257
00:09:59,584 --> 00:10:01,333
regarding who else
you are dealing with.
258
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,750
Okay, right, well, um...
259
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:05,292
why don't I just
bring the OctoPipers?
260
00:10:05,292 --> 00:10:08,375
New name to come, though it's
pretty popular around here.
261
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,834
Uh, they can talk to K-Hole.
262
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,875
Tell them why they joined.
263
00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:16,916
Allowing you to speak less?
264
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,625
Good strategy. Alright.
265
00:10:18,625 --> 00:10:20,792
K-Hole will be expecting
you this afternoon.
266
00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:23,375
Knock 'em dead, Richard.
267
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,792
Whatever you are doing,
stop it now.
268
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:32,458
Um, yeah.
We're just... high-fiving.
269
00:10:32,458 --> 00:10:33,625
Bye.
270
00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,125
K-Hole.
I can't believe it!
271
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,166
I'm bursting. I'm bursting!
272
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:39,208
Um, here, I printed
driving directions.
273
00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:40,958
Oh, it's okay, I got my phone.
(car revving)
274
00:10:40,958 --> 00:10:43,125
Well, I have marked available
bathrooms along the route.
275
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:47,875
(hip hop music playing)
276
00:10:47,875 --> 00:10:49,542
Okay, here we go.
277
00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:52,542
Richard, you never
return my calls.
278
00:10:52,542 --> 00:10:55,125
You mean the hundreds
of voicemails you've left
279
00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:58,667
where you just called me
a terrible CEO with no dick?
280
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:00,750
Yes! You're talking
to other companies.
281
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:03,250
(shushes) That is not
public information.
282
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,375
Jian-Yang: I'm a part
owner in Pied Piper.
283
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:08,292
You need to make a deal
with my companies.
284
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,834
You mean your incubator's
spurious knock-offs
285
00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:13,041
of legitimate
American businesses?
286
00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:16,333
"New Expedia," "New
Snapchat," "New Zillow"?
287
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:18,750
But they're for Chinese market.
288
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:21,000
It's a very
sophisticated strategy.
289
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,166
Okay, look, taking
existing companies
290
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:26,542
and just calling them "new" isn't
sophisticated. That's theft.
291
00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:28,375
You make a new Internet.
292
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,292
(stammering)
293
00:11:30,292 --> 00:11:31,625
That is different.
294
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,292
I... Look, we're not
gonna make any deals
295
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,208
with any of your
companies, okay?
296
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,834
(phone vibrates)
297
00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:40,208
Don't pick up.
298
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,458
Richard, hello.
299
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:46,667
It's Jian-Yang.
300
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:49,792
You are a shitty CEO.
301
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:55,625
As long as I own
10% of Pied Piper,
302
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:57,250
I will make chaos.
303
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,208
Okay.
304
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:01,958
I thought you hated that car.
305
00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:04,500
Aviato car smells
like a dead pig.
306
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,875
You're aware that Russ Hanneman
urinated in that car, no?
307
00:12:09,166 --> 00:12:10,208
This car?
308
00:12:10,208 --> 00:12:11,208
Mm-hmm.
309
00:12:14,584 --> 00:12:15,584
Uh...
310
00:12:15,584 --> 00:12:17,750
are you just gonna leave it here?
Yes.
311
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:19,041
Well...
312
00:12:20,083 --> 00:12:21,250
looks like I have
a reason to find
313
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,292
Pied Piper's official
towing company.
314
00:12:23,292 --> 00:12:24,542
I'm gonna get some bids.
315
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:25,916
Yeah, while you're at it,
316
00:12:25,916 --> 00:12:28,292
see if you can find someone
to bash that guy's face in.
317
00:12:28,292 --> 00:12:31,417
Uh, I-I can do some research.
318
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,083
(phone vibrates)
319
00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:39,625
Maybe turn your phone off
during the meeting.
320
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,458
(yelling)
You're a shitty CEO!
321
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:44,125
(screaming)
(gunfire)
322
00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:47,542
(violent noises continue)
323
00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:49,584
Richard: Thanks again,
Colin, for having us.
324
00:12:49,584 --> 00:12:51,333
Uh, the fact that
a company like yours
325
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:53,958
with such a pristine reputation
it sitting down with us
326
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,750
is, honestly,
incredibly flattering.
327
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:56,916
It's cool.
328
00:12:56,916 --> 00:12:58,375
(man shouting in game)
Ooh, wow.
329
00:12:58,375 --> 00:13:00,834
That'll be a
closed casket. Yeah.
330
00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:02,333
Alright, well,
we thought the best way
331
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,292
to introduce the Pipernet
332
00:13:03,292 --> 00:13:05,458
would be through
the eight developers
333
00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:06,500
that have already signed on.
334
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,750
Who we are calling
the OctoPipers.
335
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:10,958
That's dumb.
336
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:14,041
Um, anyway, let's introduce
you to the group.
337
00:13:14,041 --> 00:13:16,834
Um, we've got a great
analytics tool
338
00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:18,625
by a former Google guru.
339
00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:20,458
Wish I'd have thought of that one.
Cool.
340
00:13:20,458 --> 00:13:23,208
Uh, music streaming
with an AI taste predictor
341
00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:24,875
that is off the charts.
342
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:25,875
Good space.
343
00:13:25,875 --> 00:13:28,375
Yes, and this handsome
devil over here,
344
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,000
is creating a very promising
gay dating site.
345
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,041
That's cool. Yeah, but don't
worry, he's not snobby about it.
346
00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:35,333
He's actually pretty boring.
347
00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:37,208
I don't mean that as an insult.
Those are his words.
348
00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:39,417
Long-term relationship.
Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink.
349
00:13:39,417 --> 00:13:41,958
And him and his man
go to church every Sunday.
350
00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:43,750
So...
351
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:46,083
loves Bible studies, right?
352
00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:48,458
Just a straight-up
boring, ordinary guy,
353
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:49,625
but obviously not straight.
354
00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:53,083
Very gay, and also
a Christian, right?
355
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,333
Richard:
Okay, so, that went well.
356
00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:59,584
It started out a little weird, but things
really picked up... Why did you do that?
357
00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:01,625
Why did you say that?
Say what?
358
00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:03,625
Richard, you just told
a room full of tech people
359
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:04,958
that I'm a
(whispers) Christian.
360
00:14:04,958 --> 00:14:06,292
Oh.
361
00:14:06,292 --> 00:14:08,333
Okay, but...
but you are, aren't you?
362
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:10,667
(whispers) Yes, but I told
you that in confidence.
363
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:12,458
I said "between you and me."
364
00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:15,125
I'm not openly Christian.
365
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:16,625
(sighs)
Thanks a lot, man.
366
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:17,667
You just outed me.
367
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,125
Oh, I'm sorry, Deedee.
I didn't...
368
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:23,125
Okay, um, should we hug?
369
00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:25,000
I can not make it
weird this time.
370
00:14:28,292 --> 00:14:29,709
I'm... I'm sorry, Richard.
371
00:14:29,709 --> 00:14:31,542
You know that
my default position
372
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:34,625
is blind support
of whatever you do, but...
373
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,000
this was not your best moment.
374
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,125
Guys, it can't be
that big of a deal, right?
375
00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:39,375
Why should it be?
376
00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:41,166
America loves Christians.
377
00:14:41,166 --> 00:14:42,250
Muslims are the enemy.
378
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:44,000
Well, that's true
in most of America,
379
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,584
but not in
Silicon Valley, sadly.
380
00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:49,417
"Sadly"? You can be
openly polyamorous.
381
00:14:49,417 --> 00:14:51,542
And people here
will call you brave.
382
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:54,834
You can put micro-doses
of LSD in your cereal,
383
00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:56,542
and... and people
will call you a pioneer.
384
00:14:56,542 --> 00:15:00,166
But the one thing you
cannot be is a Christian.
385
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:02,208
I find their theology
to be illegitimate,
386
00:15:02,208 --> 00:15:04,458
and it's clear that
they are the source
387
00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:06,500
of the majority of
the world's problems.
388
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,916
But, fuck, Richard,
even I wouldn't just...
389
00:15:08,916 --> 00:15:10,542
out a Christian like that.
390
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,333
Yeah, it was kinda fucked up.
391
00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:15,417
Cool man, thanks.
392
00:15:15,417 --> 00:15:18,083
(softly) Hey, I thought he
wasn't supposed to chime in.
393
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,750
Yeah, he's not, but...
394
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,916
based on its merits,
I'll allow that one.
395
00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:25,292
Guys, (stammers)
come on.
396
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,750
It can't be that bad.
397
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,041
Richard!
398
00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:30,292
What the fuck
did you do over there?
399
00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:33,584
So I just got off the phone
with Colin over at K-Hole,
400
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,125
and while he loves your tech,
401
00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:36,916
he's considering
blowing up the deal.
402
00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:37,916
What?
403
00:15:37,916 --> 00:15:39,916
Just because one of
my CEOs is Christian?
404
00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:41,750
It freaks people out
in the Valley!
405
00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:44,083
Okay, so what do you
want me to do, Monica?
406
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:46,834
You want me to drop Deedee
just because he's Christian?
407
00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:49,542
The company's not Christian.
It's gay...
408
00:15:49,542 --> 00:15:50,750
which is fine, right?
409
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,625
Yeah! No, that...
that plays great.
410
00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:55,584
Look, cutting all ties
to Deedee and FirstSight
411
00:15:55,584 --> 00:15:58,125
will definitely send
a strong message to Colin.
412
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,458
And it might be the only way.
413
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,958
Like killing somebody
to prove you're not a narc,
414
00:16:01,958 --> 00:16:03,958
or showing a john your genitals
415
00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:05,834
to prove you're a
legitimate male prostitute
416
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,000
and not an undercover cop.
417
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,750
What? Because cops aren't
allowed to do that.
418
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:11,166
And worst case scenario,
419
00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:13,000
the john walks off with a free peek.
(phone vibrating)
420
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,458
Oh, that's the towing company.
Excuse me.
421
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,208
(groans)
Forget it.
422
00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:19,750
Monica, I'm not doing it.
423
00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:21,958
I mean, I'm not dropping him.
424
00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:23,792
Alright. Fine.
425
00:16:23,792 --> 00:16:25,709
Fine. I-I will call Colin,
426
00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:27,500
and try and smooth
things over for you,
427
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,208
but you need to handle Deedee.
428
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:31,584
Okay, apologize
for outing him, of course,
429
00:16:31,584 --> 00:16:34,417
but you need to make sure
he keeps quiet about this.
430
00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:36,458
Alright, 'cause it's not just
about losing K-Hole,
431
00:16:36,458 --> 00:16:37,834
it's way worse than that.
432
00:16:37,834 --> 00:16:39,083
Let's put it this way.
433
00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:41,083
Would you want to go
from being a rock band
434
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,667
to being... (whispers)
a Christian rock band?
435
00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:47,208
Oh, shit.
436
00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:50,250
"The bear is sticky with honey."
437
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,417
Those were his exact words.
438
00:16:52,417 --> 00:16:53,625
But what does that mean?
439
00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:55,333
Well, Gavin speaks in parables.
440
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:58,000
I think what
Gavin is saying is...
441
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,542
"consider the bear."
442
00:16:59,542 --> 00:17:02,208
And all this pizazz
is like the honey.
443
00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:04,250
And it's become too sticky.
444
00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:05,667
There's too much of it.
It's all over him.
445
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:08,584
Incorrect. No, see, the
whole launch is the bear,
446
00:17:08,584 --> 00:17:10,333
and the honey is the pizazz.
447
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,083
The bear needs more pizazz.
448
00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:14,750
The bear is ravenous for pizazz.
449
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,083
You don't speak for Gavin.
450
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,625
I don't need to.
This is the word of Gavin.
451
00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:20,417
Alright, forget it.
452
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:22,125
You do it your way, I'll do it mine.
Okay, fine.
453
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:25,000
Gonna show you. Make it clear for
all of you. Okay, follow me.
454
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,542
Jared: Well, congratulations
on becoming
455
00:17:27,542 --> 00:17:29,709
Pied Piper's official
towing company.
456
00:17:29,709 --> 00:17:31,375
Uh-huh, yeah, great.
457
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:32,500
So should I bill this to you,
458
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,916
or is Mr. Bighetti
gonna take care of it?
459
00:17:34,916 --> 00:17:37,750
"Bighetti"? It's
registered under his name.
460
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:39,083
I'm sorry. Can I...?
461
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:44,875
♪ ♪
462
00:17:44,875 --> 00:17:46,875
Richard: Anyway, it was a mistake.
463
00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:48,208
I'm sorry I outed you.
464
00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:49,834
I just wish we could
go back to normal.
465
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:52,208
You know, just like,
how things were.
466
00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:53,625
A CEO and a gay CEO.
467
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:55,542
I don't even know what
normal is anymore, Richard.
468
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,667
It's been such a crazy
24 hours, you know?
469
00:17:57,667 --> 00:18:00,292
Gossip travels
so fast in the Valley.
470
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:02,375
I'll be lucky if my parents
ever talk to me again.
471
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:03,916
Your parents aren't Christian?
472
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,166
I'm from Palo Alto.
473
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:08,166
You know, my dad says
my lifestyle makes him sick.
474
00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:09,667
He just wants his gay son back.
475
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,792
And he's okay with the gay part?
476
00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:13,417
He's gay.
Oh.
477
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:14,750
But the crazy part is,
478
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,542
when I finally got home
and I got in bed,
479
00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:20,000
I had the soundest sleep
I've had in years.
480
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,916
Exhaustion.
No! Relief, Richard.
481
00:18:22,916 --> 00:18:24,417
I'm out, okay?
482
00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:25,625
My nightmare's over.
483
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:27,458
I don't ever have to go
back in the closet again,
484
00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:30,083
and I've got you
to thank for it.
485
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:33,083
Check it out.
486
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,417
Oh, oh, oh.
487
00:18:36,417 --> 00:18:37,667
You like it?
488
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:40,834
It's good. I guess...
maybe it's just a little busy?
489
00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:42,875
Like, um, there's
one word too many.
490
00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:45,250
One word?
Well, I like the gay part.
491
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,750
If anything,
it could be more gay.
492
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,458
You should gay it up,
493
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:50,875
and then, I like
the "proud" part.
494
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:52,083
(gulps)
It's just the...
495
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:53,916
Christian part.
496
00:18:53,916 --> 00:18:56,333
Look, Richard, this is great,
497
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:59,417
because now I can be
gay and a Christian.
498
00:18:59,417 --> 00:19:01,208
Or just be gay!
499
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,125
You know, you could
be a... a twink.
500
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:04,292
A bear, an otter.
501
00:19:04,292 --> 00:19:06,333
A circuit queen, a chub, a pup.
502
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:07,958
A gipster, a daddy chaser,
503
00:19:07,958 --> 00:19:09,417
a leatherman, a lady boy.
504
00:19:09,417 --> 00:19:10,667
You could be a Donald Duck,
505
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:12,709
which is a gay guy who got
kicked out of the Navy.
506
00:19:12,709 --> 00:19:13,916
Yeah, I... I know what it is.
507
00:19:13,916 --> 00:19:15,250
How do you know
so many gay things?
508
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:17,625
I worked with a guy.
509
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,667
Just...
510
00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:21,958
don't be a Christian.
511
00:19:21,958 --> 00:19:23,958
(scoffs)
Wow.
512
00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:25,125
After all you put me through,
513
00:19:25,125 --> 00:19:26,834
it turns out, you're biased too.
514
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,500
No! No, no, no!
I'm not!
515
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,000
I swear to you I'm not.
I'm chill AF.
516
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,208
It's just everybody else.
517
00:19:32,208 --> 00:19:35,500
Look, if you go Christian,
I lose K-Hole games.
518
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,875
I cannot let that happen.
I know it sucks.
519
00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:39,625
It's shitty, but it's the truth.
520
00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:42,041
I'm gonna make things
easy for you, Richard.
521
00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:43,166
I'm out.
522
00:19:44,542 --> 00:19:46,417
Of the closet?
No!
523
00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:48,292
The new Internet!
524
00:19:48,292 --> 00:19:50,000
The Internet you said
was gonna be... What was it?
525
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,542
"The first truly free
and open Internet."
526
00:19:52,542 --> 00:19:53,834
Open for everyone.
527
00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:55,208
Whatever happened to that, huh?
528
00:19:55,208 --> 00:19:56,667
♪ ♪
529
00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,250
Nice place.
530
00:19:58,250 --> 00:19:59,667
Oh, thanks, yeah.
531
00:19:59,667 --> 00:20:02,000
Oh, wow!
That's a nice touch.
532
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,250
Big Head: Yeah, thanks!
533
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,834
The Monterey Bay Aquarium
was testing their sonar,
534
00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:09,500
and found this thing, like,
two miles under the ocean.
535
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,208
And I figure, Erlich and
I already bought it,
536
00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:12,750
so I might as well hold onto it.
537
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,667
Plus, it weighs
like 8,000 pounds,
538
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,375
so I couldn't move it
if I wanted to.
539
00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:18,709
Well, and it also kinda
works as your mascot.
540
00:20:18,709 --> 00:20:20,208
Right? 'Cause of your name?
541
00:20:20,208 --> 00:20:21,916
Oh, yeah, 'cause "Nelson."
542
00:20:23,041 --> 00:20:25,584
Oh, I meant because
it's a big head.
543
00:20:25,584 --> 00:20:27,709
I guess that works, too.
544
00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:30,000
So, what's up, man?
545
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,292
Um, well, I wanted to ask you...
546
00:20:32,292 --> 00:20:34,292
Oh! Big Head!
547
00:20:34,292 --> 00:20:36,333
(chuckles)
Now I get it.
548
00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:38,208
Sorry.
Is... is it possible
549
00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:40,875
that the general partnership
that you formed with Erlich
550
00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:42,166
is still in effect?
551
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,041
Oh. No way.
552
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:45,875
You definitely dissolved it?
553
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:47,292
Yeah, my dad insisted.
554
00:20:47,292 --> 00:20:50,208
I remember he filled out
this whole form for me,
555
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,333
and made me sign it,
556
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,792
mail it in and everything.
557
00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:55,875
Yeah, 'cause I... I remember I
had the paperwork in one hand,
558
00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:58,208
and the menu for
Mr. Chow's in the other.
559
00:20:58,208 --> 00:20:59,250
And then...
560
00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:05,916
(papers rustling)
561
00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:07,292
♪ ♪
562
00:21:11,625 --> 00:21:13,000
Oh, no way!
563
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,625
Still have the paperwork.
564
00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,750
Guess I must have sent the menu.
565
00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:19,000
Big Head, this is great news.
566
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,166
Scott: Gavin?
567
00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:21,834
I think you're really going
to love the changes
568
00:21:21,834 --> 00:21:23,292
that my team has made
to the presentation.
569
00:21:23,292 --> 00:21:26,041
I think you might
like ours even better.
570
00:21:26,041 --> 00:21:27,584
Sorry, what changes?
571
00:21:27,584 --> 00:21:28,834
We are presenting two paths,
572
00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:31,083
and you alone will decide
which one we walk, Gavin.
573
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:32,584
What the fuck are you
talking about?
574
00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,417
I thought the presentation
was fine as it is.
575
00:21:34,417 --> 00:21:36,750
Wait. What?
You did?
576
00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,709
Goddammit!
577
00:21:38,709 --> 00:21:40,000
Why is this still here?
578
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,834
I said it was too sticky.
579
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:44,000
Don't you listen
to anything I say?
580
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,083
(sets bear down)
581
00:21:45,083 --> 00:21:47,083
The bear...
Sticky with honey.
582
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:48,875
So what did you change?
583
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,458
Uh, the spotlight.
584
00:21:50,458 --> 00:21:52,834
Yes! We're making it
wider just like you asked.
585
00:21:52,834 --> 00:21:54,250
Good.
586
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:56,417
You know what? Let's show you
to your dressing room. Yeah.
587
00:21:56,417 --> 00:21:58,125
And whenever you're
ready, you let us know,
588
00:21:58,125 --> 00:21:59,292
we'll show you
that spotlight, huh?
589
00:21:59,292 --> 00:22:01,584
You're gonna love it.
Sarah: We did it!
590
00:22:01,584 --> 00:22:03,916
We had to fly him in from
Tucson, but we got the bear.
591
00:22:03,916 --> 00:22:06,625
(bear growling)
592
00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:10,375
Gavin hates the bear.
You failed!
593
00:22:10,375 --> 00:22:12,166
Put everything back
the way it was.
594
00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:14,292
And widen the spotlight!
595
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:16,125
Guess what, asshole.
596
00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:17,792
Leon told me
he wanted your ticket,
597
00:22:17,792 --> 00:22:20,834
'cause he wants to go
see BattleBots with me.
598
00:22:22,125 --> 00:22:24,417
But then he remembered
he actually had plans that night
599
00:22:24,417 --> 00:22:26,750
with a bunch of people,
doesn't know what they're doing,
600
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:27,792
their plans are sort of fluid,
601
00:22:27,792 --> 00:22:29,834
plus, it's like friends
from his old work,
602
00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:31,625
so it'd be weird
if I hung out with them.
603
00:22:32,667 --> 00:22:34,166
Anyway...
604
00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:37,458
looks like you and I
are going to see BattleBots.
605
00:22:37,458 --> 00:22:38,875
You're going to
hang out with me,
606
00:22:38,875 --> 00:22:40,667
and have fun,
whether you like it or not.
607
00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:43,667
And what goes best
with BattleBots?
608
00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:45,916
That's right.
Chicken wings.
609
00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:49,875
That's why you get a sweet $50
gift card to Dave & Buster's.
610
00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:52,792
Serves you right
for fucking us over.
611
00:22:52,792 --> 00:22:54,166
Wash your fucking hair.
612
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:59,041
And you know what happens
when I get drunk, Jeff?
613
00:22:59,041 --> 00:23:01,208
I get so sincere.
614
00:23:01,208 --> 00:23:02,792
It's really awkward.
615
00:23:02,792 --> 00:23:04,417
Fuck you, Jeff.
616
00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:06,041
Oh, um, can you drive?
617
00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:07,792
♪ ♪
618
00:23:07,792 --> 00:23:10,375
Well, I spoke to La Flamme,
619
00:23:10,375 --> 00:23:11,584
and it's official.
620
00:23:11,584 --> 00:23:14,333
Big Head is still legally
Erlich's next of kin.
621
00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:17,333
So Jian-Yang's whole gambit
was for naught.
622
00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:18,542
Wow, really?
623
00:23:18,542 --> 00:23:21,250
Big Head owns Erlich's house,
and 10% of Pied Piper.
624
00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:23,958
I called the sheriff and
started eviction proceedings.
625
00:23:23,958 --> 00:23:25,417
We're gonna get everything back.
626
00:23:25,417 --> 00:23:29,625
Oh, also, the, uh, OctoPipers
are arriving for the meeting.
627
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:31,916
It's a good thing that
FirstSight dropped out, right?
628
00:23:31,916 --> 00:23:33,667
'Cause we're back down
to eight developers,
629
00:23:33,667 --> 00:23:35,166
so you can keep that name.
630
00:23:35,166 --> 00:23:37,542
Actually, uh, no, we can't.
631
00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:40,625
Wait, what?
632
00:23:40,625 --> 00:23:42,834
I'm glad this worked out. Yeah.
633
00:23:42,834 --> 00:23:44,083
Thanks for dropping FirstSight.
634
00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:46,333
Jesus, my board would
have nailed me to a cross.
635
00:23:46,333 --> 00:23:50,166
Well, I think we're just about
ready to get going here, uh...
636
00:23:50,166 --> 00:23:51,250
Oh.
Hey!
637
00:23:51,250 --> 00:23:53,584
Oh, good, there he is.
What's he doing here?
638
00:23:53,584 --> 00:23:58,417
He is here because
I asked him to be.
639
00:23:58,417 --> 00:24:00,083
I want him to be one
of our developers.
640
00:24:00,083 --> 00:24:02,417
What? No!
Fuck that guy!
641
00:24:02,417 --> 00:24:03,875
Hey, man, how's it goin'?
642
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:05,292
Richard.
Deedee.
643
00:24:05,292 --> 00:24:06,584
(whispers) Can I talk to you?
Yeah!
644
00:24:06,584 --> 00:24:08,250
No, no, no.
Actually, look!
645
00:24:08,250 --> 00:24:10,083
Look, guys, I...
646
00:24:10,083 --> 00:24:12,750
I asked you to be a part of this
647
00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:16,250
because I thought you were
willing to take a chance
648
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,709
on my idea.
649
00:24:17,709 --> 00:24:19,584
An entirely new Internet.
650
00:24:19,584 --> 00:24:21,542
An Internet that is everything
651
00:24:21,542 --> 00:24:24,375
the old Internet is supposed
to be, but isn't.
652
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:26,709
Truly free and truly open.
653
00:24:26,709 --> 00:24:28,292
Well, I'm sorry, gang.
654
00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:31,458
Truly open means
"open to everyone."
655
00:24:31,458 --> 00:24:34,375
No matter how repugnant
their views are.
656
00:24:34,375 --> 00:24:36,292
How ignorant or stupid,
657
00:24:36,292 --> 00:24:38,500
or, to be honest,
totally fucking wrong.
658
00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:40,458
And, look, who are we
to judge, right?
659
00:24:40,458 --> 00:24:41,916
There's some people
out there that believe
660
00:24:41,916 --> 00:24:43,916
that we're living in
a computer simulation.
661
00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:45,958
Well, that is supported
by the evidence.
662
00:24:47,083 --> 00:24:48,041
What?
663
00:24:48,041 --> 00:24:50,208
Uh, it's basic
probability theory.
664
00:24:50,208 --> 00:24:53,584
Right, uh, Richard, can I talk to
you for just a sec? Yes, of course.
665
00:24:54,792 --> 00:24:57,166
Uh, that's bullshit actually.
666
00:24:57,166 --> 00:24:58,250
It's been disproven.
667
00:24:58,250 --> 00:24:59,584
But why does that even matter?
668
00:24:59,584 --> 00:25:01,834
In a few years, we'll all
be working for robots.
669
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:03,292
No, that's stupid.
670
00:25:03,292 --> 00:25:04,625
The robots will be
working for us.
671
00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:06,458
Robots? Who gives a
fuck about robots?
672
00:25:06,458 --> 00:25:08,875
It's the artificial super intelligence
we should be worried about.
673
00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:10,458
Exactly, and that's why
we have to stop it.
674
00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:12,625
Stop it? No, that's the
us I'm talking about.
675
00:25:12,625 --> 00:25:14,500
We have to bring it
into existence.
676
00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:17,375
Otherwise, it'll find out who didn't
believe in it, and punish them.
677
00:25:17,375 --> 00:25:19,625
Clark: Right.
Guys, I was wrong.
678
00:25:19,625 --> 00:25:22,166
Um, Deedee is...
679
00:25:22,166 --> 00:25:25,375
not in. He's actually
very much out.
680
00:25:25,375 --> 00:25:26,709
So...
681
00:25:26,709 --> 00:25:29,250
do-over on the whole speech.
682
00:25:29,250 --> 00:25:30,625
Fuck that guy!
683
00:25:30,625 --> 00:25:32,000
Christians suck!
684
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,834
And, uh, here's a good
side effect though.
685
00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:36,875
Uh, we all get to keep
the name OctoPipers.
686
00:25:39,458 --> 00:25:42,584
You know what? Why don't
we just take a quick five?
687
00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:44,709
(clears throat)
And then, we'll BRB,
688
00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,417
and then, go teams.
689
00:25:46,417 --> 00:25:48,417
So just... let's have a...
690
00:25:52,041 --> 00:25:53,542
What just happened?
691
00:25:53,542 --> 00:25:55,542
Deedee's out?
692
00:25:55,542 --> 00:25:57,417
Yeah, well, he said
693
00:25:57,417 --> 00:25:59,875
that right after
he bailed on us,
694
00:25:59,875 --> 00:26:03,041
he went out and made a deal
with our competitor.
695
00:26:03,041 --> 00:26:07,208
But we don't have any competitors.
Richard?
696
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:11,166
Richard: Fuckin' Jian-Yang.
697
00:26:11,166 --> 00:26:13,375
I'm gonna tear him
a new asshole.
698
00:26:13,375 --> 00:26:16,333
It wasn't enough to do
New Snapchat or New Expedia,
699
00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:18,208
he had to do New Pied Piper too?
700
00:26:18,208 --> 00:26:19,667
Where did he get our code?
701
00:26:19,667 --> 00:26:21,584
He was always stealing
snacks from the office.
702
00:26:21,584 --> 00:26:23,292
He could've lifted it
from anywhere.
703
00:26:23,292 --> 00:26:25,709
I guess that's what happened
to my lavender cheese.
704
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:28,083
(pounding on door)
Richard: Jian-Yang! Open up!
705
00:26:33,375 --> 00:26:34,709
Gilfoyle: What the fuck?
706
00:26:34,709 --> 00:26:37,584
Why does every home I've
ever loved get stripped?
707
00:26:38,667 --> 00:26:41,250
Is that Erlich in the bucket?
708
00:26:41,250 --> 00:26:43,250
♪ ♪
709
00:26:48,417 --> 00:26:49,584
Uh... (clears throat)
710
00:26:49,584 --> 00:26:50,916
"Richard...
711
00:26:50,916 --> 00:26:54,958
"Hello, I went to China
to do new new Internet.
712
00:26:57,584 --> 00:27:00,166
"Thank you. Enjoy your house.
713
00:27:00,166 --> 00:27:01,625
"I love you.
714
00:27:01,625 --> 00:27:03,292
Jian-Yang."
715
00:27:09,458 --> 00:27:12,584
(Chinese hip hop music playing)
716
00:28:18,834 --> 00:28:20,041
I'm here with Pied Piper CEO
Richard Hendricks,
717
00:28:20,041 --> 00:28:22,000
and newly minted COO Jared Dunn.
718
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,041
Tell me what your new internet
is,
719
00:28:24,041 --> 00:28:26,333
and why Gavin Belson
should be afraid of it.
720
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,709
- Manure?
- INTERVIEWER: Pardon?
721
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:30,166
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS)
722
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,625
HOOVER: Sir, I had no idea
they were this far along.
723
00:28:32,625 --> 00:28:33,667
You must be furious.
724
00:28:34,041 --> 00:28:35,166
That's the thing.
725
00:28:36,125 --> 00:28:37,041
I'm not.
726
00:28:38,333 --> 00:28:40,834
So, we're just giving
a random company
727
00:28:40,834 --> 00:28:42,916
a bunch of free compute power
on our network?
728
00:28:42,916 --> 00:28:44,542
Some company called Eklow.
729
00:28:44,542 --> 00:28:45,667
BERTRAM GILFOYLE: The AI company?
730
00:28:45,667 --> 00:28:48,000
Follow me, I'll introduce you to her.
731
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,041
Sorry... Her?
732
00:28:50,041 --> 00:28:51,041
Fiona.
733
00:28:52,041 --> 00:28:54,208
- Good morning.
- Isn't she pretty?
734
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,125
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- (ROBOT WHIRRING)
735
00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:58,375
Yeah, sure. Yep.
736
00:28:58,375 --> 00:29:00,834
(MUSIC CONTINUES)