1
00:00:00,061 --> 00:00:01,010
Richard...
2
00:00:01,597 --> 00:00:04,347
do you think if I asked,
they would let me visit her?
3
00:00:04,430 --> 00:00:05,931
RICHARD HENDRICKS: Jared,
she's gonna be okay.
4
00:00:06,347 --> 00:00:07,430
I promise.
5
00:00:08,972 --> 00:00:10,806
(DRILL WHIRRING)
6
00:00:11,097 --> 00:00:12,389
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
7
00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:13,472
GAVIN BELSON: That brilliant little idiot.
8
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:14,722
He found a way
around the patent!
9
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:15,722
It's Hendrick's internet,
10
00:00:15,806 --> 00:00:16,806
but it's not Hendrick's internet!
11
00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:19,389
I will no longer be able
to manufacture your boxes.
12
00:00:19,639 --> 00:00:21,847
You see, my company
will be manufacturing
13
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:25,347
a new device that will quickly
render yours obsolete.
14
00:00:27,222 --> 00:00:29,722
Did you speak to Laurie
about our Series B?
15
00:00:29,806 --> 00:00:32,055
- HENDRICKS: Sort of.
- (LAURIE RETCHING)
16
00:00:32,138 --> 00:00:34,138
MONICA HALL: Nothing is personal
with Laurie, all right?
17
00:00:34,222 --> 00:00:36,097
It's what makes her such a great VC.
18
00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:38,681
A term sheet for your Series B.
19
00:00:38,764 --> 00:00:40,180
Congratulations, Richard.
20
00:00:40,472 --> 00:00:41,555
Thank you.
21
00:00:50,722 --> 00:00:53,055
Richard: Wow. That is one expensive bottle.
22
00:00:53,138 --> 00:00:54,263
You guys deserve the best
23
00:00:54,347 --> 00:00:55,722
bottle of champagne they have.
24
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,180
Yeah, all champagne
tastes the same to me, so.
25
00:00:58,263 --> 00:00:59,681
I agree, I mean, what's the difference
26
00:00:59,764 --> 00:01:02,055
between good champagne
and bad champagne?
27
00:01:02,138 --> 00:01:03,639
About $500.
28
00:01:03,722 --> 00:01:05,263
Guys, come on. Enjoy it.
29
00:01:05,347 --> 00:01:07,889
You're about to close
a $30 million series B.
30
00:01:07,972 --> 00:01:09,681
And you don't have to sell any ads
31
00:01:09,764 --> 00:01:10,972
or harvest user data,
32
00:01:11,055 --> 00:01:12,639
which for any other VC in town
33
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:13,972
would've been a non-starter.
34
00:01:14,055 --> 00:01:16,639
Frankly, I'm surprised
that Laurie went for it.
35
00:01:16,722 --> 00:01:18,180
Well, I'm not wild
about the idea
36
00:01:18,263 --> 00:01:20,013
of her having
two more board seats.
37
00:01:20,097 --> 00:01:23,180
I mean, she did kill Fiona
right in front of us.
38
00:01:23,263 --> 00:01:25,305
Listen, don't worry
about Laurie, okay?
39
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,764
I'm gonna be your
point person on this.
40
00:01:26,847 --> 00:01:29,263
She's got her plate full.
She's raising money to recover
41
00:01:29,347 --> 00:01:30,806
from the whole Eklow debacle.
42
00:01:30,889 --> 00:01:31,847
Okay.
43
00:01:31,931 --> 00:01:33,847
So... to you guys.
44
00:01:33,931 --> 00:01:35,430
All right.
45
00:01:35,514 --> 00:01:36,639
Cheers. Cheers.
46
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:37,722
Richard: Yup, thanks.
47
00:01:42,681 --> 00:01:44,514
All right. I have a dinner meeting
48
00:01:44,597 --> 00:01:46,347
and I kind of feel like a fifth wheel,
49
00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:49,514
so I'm gonna pick up the check,
leave you to celebrate.
50
00:01:49,597 --> 00:01:50,639
Congrats again, guys.
51
00:01:50,722 --> 00:01:51,764
Okay.
52
00:01:51,847 --> 00:01:52,931
Jared: Bye.
53
00:01:57,305 --> 00:01:59,681
Well, the only person we don't spend
54
00:01:59,764 --> 00:02:01,722
20 hours a day with just left.
55
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:03,889
So.
56
00:02:04,764 --> 00:02:06,305
What's new with you guys?
57
00:02:08,555 --> 00:02:12,097
Well, I'm thinking of buying
some new bookkeeping software.
58
00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:14,681
All right. I think the only
actual way to celebrate
59
00:02:14,764 --> 00:02:17,097
is to spend one waking minute apart, so.
60
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,222
I'm gonna go.
61
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,138
Are you going home?
Let's... let's share an Uber.
62
00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:21,555
Oh, well, if you're going
that direction,
63
00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:23,055
I'm... I'm driving,
so I could drop you.
64
00:02:23,138 --> 00:02:24,389
Dinesh: Hey, Gilfoyle.
Wanna play Fortnite?
65
00:02:24,472 --> 00:02:26,389
Oh, hold on, I didn't know
we were playing Fortnite.
66
00:02:26,472 --> 00:02:27,889
Yeah, I'll come along.
67
00:02:34,472 --> 00:02:37,972
Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== https://subscene.com ==
68
00:02:39,305 --> 00:02:41,097
♪ ♪
69
00:02:43,472 --> 00:02:46,138
I would've taken that plate
to the sink for you.
70
00:02:46,222 --> 00:02:48,514
Uh, it's okay.
I just finished, so.
71
00:02:48,597 --> 00:02:50,681
How was the sandwich I made you?
Was it good?
72
00:02:50,764 --> 00:02:52,222
Good condiment blend?
73
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:53,764
Yeah. It was perfect, thanks.
74
00:02:53,847 --> 00:02:54,972
Richard.
75
00:02:55,055 --> 00:02:56,681
This might be out of line, but...
76
00:02:56,764 --> 00:02:59,847
would you mind telling Jared how
much you enjoyed the sandwich?
77
00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:01,639
I'm finding him
a little intimidating.
78
00:03:01,722 --> 00:03:04,722
Sure, yeah. Look, I know he
can be a little eccentric.
79
00:03:04,806 --> 00:03:06,472
I tend to hold my breath
around him.
80
00:03:06,555 --> 00:03:08,180
It's exacerbating my asthma.
81
00:03:08,263 --> 00:03:10,305
Ooh, okay...
82
00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:12,305
Richard, do you have a moment?
83
00:03:15,681 --> 00:03:20,472
You know what? Holden just made
me a really good sandwich.
84
00:03:20,555 --> 00:03:22,972
Oh, well, that's nice.
85
00:03:23,055 --> 00:03:24,681
Yeah. Yep.
86
00:03:24,764 --> 00:03:25,847
(clears throat)
87
00:03:27,389 --> 00:03:30,472
Did he ask you
to mention that to me?
88
00:03:31,514 --> 00:03:33,472
What? No.
89
00:03:33,555 --> 00:03:35,972
Okay.
No, he's... he's just great.
90
00:03:37,430 --> 00:03:39,639
Well, "In doing what we ought,
we deserve no praise
91
00:03:39,722 --> 00:03:41,347
because it is our duty."
92
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,263
St. Augustine.
93
00:03:43,347 --> 00:03:44,555
So, um...
94
00:03:44,639 --> 00:03:46,472
I've been keeping
track of the compute credits
95
00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:47,722
that you gave to Laurie.
96
00:03:47,806 --> 00:03:49,555
And she sold them to Gigglybots
97
00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:52,055
and then Gigglybots
sold them to SmashHub.
98
00:03:52,138 --> 00:03:53,847
And they traded hands
a few more times,
99
00:03:53,931 --> 00:03:56,138
the price increasing
each time until they were
100
00:03:56,222 --> 00:03:58,681
bought by a venture fund
in Mountain View.
101
00:03:58,764 --> 00:04:01,222
Okay, uh, so if we wanted
to buy them back,
102
00:04:01,305 --> 00:04:02,639
how much would it cost us?
103
00:04:02,722 --> 00:04:05,138
It's $1.6 million.
104
00:04:05,222 --> 00:04:06,931
What?
The fuck?
105
00:04:10,055 --> 00:04:11,555
More like that?
Yeah.
106
00:04:11,639 --> 00:04:13,180
Danny: So Dinesh, is it true?
107
00:04:13,263 --> 00:04:14,305
Is series B happening?
108
00:04:14,389 --> 00:04:15,472
We all heard it's happening.
109
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,889
Oh, guys, please,
you know I can't talk to you
110
00:04:17,972 --> 00:04:19,472
about upper level
management stuff.
111
00:04:19,555 --> 00:04:21,639
It's totally happening.
Look at his face.
112
00:04:21,722 --> 00:04:22,806
He has the worst poker face.
113
00:04:22,889 --> 00:04:24,972
No. Don't...
don't look at my face.
114
00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:25,972
This is great news.
115
00:04:26,055 --> 00:04:28,097
We're all getting big, fat bonuses.
116
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,806
I was a little worried I made
a mistake ordering that Tesla.
117
00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:33,097
Sorry, Tesla?
What Tesla?
118
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:35,138
Model S. Same as yours.
119
00:04:35,222 --> 00:04:38,555
I mean, not exactly the same.
I ordered the P100D.
120
00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:39,514
Newer model.
121
00:04:39,597 --> 00:04:40,806
It's got longer battery life...
122
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:42,597
You know what?
This is a workplace.
123
00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:45,097
This is not a fucking slumber
party, gabbing, gabbing.
124
00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:47,013
And series B is not a done deal.
125
00:04:47,097 --> 00:04:49,681
Despite what my face says, okay?
126
00:04:49,764 --> 00:04:50,722
Don't trust this face.
127
00:04:50,806 --> 00:04:52,764
No one should ever
trust this face.
128
00:04:53,889 --> 00:04:55,597
Congrats on the Tesla, Danny.
129
00:04:55,681 --> 00:04:57,097
So excited for you.
130
00:04:58,764 --> 00:05:00,430
Series B, baby!
131
00:05:00,514 --> 00:05:01,764
Fuck Danny.
132
00:05:01,847 --> 00:05:03,347
I mean, I love my Tesla.
133
00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:04,514
It has Insane Mode,
134
00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:08,180
which means it goes
zero to 60 in 3.2 seconds,
135
00:05:08,263 --> 00:05:09,931
which is literally insane.
136
00:05:10,013 --> 00:05:13,597
But the Tesla that Danny
ordered has Ludicrous Mode,
137
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:17,138
which means it goes
zero to 60 in 2.8 seconds.
138
00:05:17,222 --> 00:05:22,305
So it's gonna take me an entire
0.4 seconds longer to get to 60.
139
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,222
I mean, how would you feel
if one of your neighbors
140
00:05:24,305 --> 00:05:26,097
got a tiki head bigger than yours?
141
00:05:26,972 --> 00:05:29,472
Oh, well, when we bought it,
142
00:05:29,555 --> 00:05:31,514
we made sure it was the
biggest one they made, so.
143
00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:35,389
You're the biggest tiki head
guy in the neighborhood.
144
00:05:35,472 --> 00:05:37,722
I used to be the Tesla
guy in the office.
145
00:05:37,806 --> 00:05:40,722
I maxed out my credit cards
to be able to afford that thing.
146
00:05:40,806 --> 00:05:42,055
And now that we're getting series B,
147
00:05:42,138 --> 00:05:45,347
any one of these bourgeois
new money millennial fucks
148
00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,013
can just go out and buy one.
149
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,722
I don't wanna sound selfish,
150
00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:53,514
but sometimes I wish only I made money.
You know?
151
00:05:53,597 --> 00:05:54,639
What are we talking about, here?
152
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:57,097
You want us to launch a cryptocurrency?
153
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,347
I do.
154
00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,430
The fact that people are willing
to pay many multiples more
155
00:06:00,514 --> 00:06:02,430
for our compute credits
than they're worth,
156
00:06:02,514 --> 00:06:04,430
we have an opportunity here.
157
00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:05,889
Worth is relative, Richard.
158
00:06:05,972 --> 00:06:07,097
What do you mean?
159
00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:08,931
Why do people covet
160
00:06:09,013 --> 00:06:12,555
the silly pieces of green
cotton paper in their wallets?
161
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:15,263
It's because we are all sheep.
162
00:06:15,347 --> 00:06:18,263
And we've mutually agreed
to endow certain things
163
00:06:18,347 --> 00:06:19,597
with value.
164
00:06:19,681 --> 00:06:22,055
And right now, for some reason,
165
00:06:22,138 --> 00:06:25,514
the market values our
credits more than we did.
166
00:06:25,597 --> 00:06:27,430
Gilfoyle, we're not gonna suddenly pivot
167
00:06:27,514 --> 00:06:29,263
and become a digital
currency company.
168
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,430
I'm not proposing a pivot.
169
00:06:30,514 --> 00:06:32,889
I'm proposing that
we sell digital currency
170
00:06:32,972 --> 00:06:35,972
as a way to finance
our new Internet company.
171
00:06:36,055 --> 00:06:39,514
You wanted an alternative
to Laurie Bream.
172
00:06:39,597 --> 00:06:41,389
Well, it's right here in front of you.
173
00:06:41,472 --> 00:06:43,347
PiedPiperCoin.
174
00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:45,472
Okay, look, I...
175
00:06:45,555 --> 00:06:47,555
I'm not gonna bet
the entire future
176
00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:50,681
of my new Internet and
everything I've worked for
177
00:06:50,764 --> 00:06:52,847
on becoming the next Bitcoin.
178
00:06:52,931 --> 00:06:54,847
You really expect me to do that?
179
00:06:54,931 --> 00:06:59,138
There are very few things that I
will defend with true passion:
180
00:06:59,222 --> 00:07:00,722
Medical marijuana,
181
00:07:00,806 --> 00:07:05,347
the biblical Satan as a metaphor
for rebellion against tyranny,
182
00:07:05,430 --> 00:07:08,472
and mother fucking
Goddamn cryptocurrency.
183
00:07:08,555 --> 00:07:10,097
Mmm.
184
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:13,889
I have a PowerPoint that I've been
wanting to show you for some time.
185
00:07:15,013 --> 00:07:15,972
Gavin: Walk me through this.
186
00:07:16,055 --> 00:07:17,972
We can't make our boxes in China
187
00:07:18,055 --> 00:07:19,138
because Yao has threatened
188
00:07:19,222 --> 00:07:20,847
every manufacturer in the country.
189
00:07:20,931 --> 00:07:21,889
That's right.
190
00:07:21,972 --> 00:07:23,180
We can't afford Bangladesh,
191
00:07:23,263 --> 00:07:24,931
because the workers have unionized.
192
00:07:25,013 --> 00:07:26,847
Sadly, correct.
193
00:07:26,931 --> 00:07:28,514
And we can't use our place in Laos,
194
00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:31,305
because one person
gets her scalp ripped off
195
00:07:31,389 --> 00:07:34,180
and suddenly, everyone's
screaming regulations.
196
00:07:34,263 --> 00:07:35,138
Yes.
197
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,597
You know, you hear a lot of chatter
198
00:07:36,681 --> 00:07:38,514
about the growth of the global economy,
199
00:07:38,597 --> 00:07:40,430
but no one wants to
talk about the downside.
200
00:07:40,514 --> 00:07:44,514
Gavin, there is one other manufacturing
option we haven't discussed yet,
201
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:46,972
which considering
the current circumstances,
202
00:07:47,055 --> 00:07:48,931
might be worth consideration.
203
00:07:49,013 --> 00:07:51,389
I'm open to anything.
204
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:53,555
America.
205
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,055
Fuck you.
206
00:07:55,138 --> 00:07:56,806
I feel the same way.
207
00:07:56,889 --> 00:07:58,389
But we were recently contacted
208
00:07:58,472 --> 00:08:00,639
by the mayor of Goldbriar, North Carolina.
209
00:08:00,722 --> 00:08:03,055
They had a DVR manufacturing
plant that closed.
210
00:08:03,138 --> 00:08:04,847
The retooling would be minimal.
211
00:08:04,931 --> 00:08:06,222
Sco They've got a skilled labor pool
212
00:08:06,305 --> 00:08:08,889
just sitting idle and they sound desperate.
213
00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:10,681
Really?
214
00:08:10,764 --> 00:08:11,722
How desperate?
215
00:08:11,806 --> 00:08:13,013
It was pitiful.
216
00:08:13,097 --> 00:08:14,305
Really?
217
00:08:15,305 --> 00:08:18,389
In 350 BCE,
218
00:08:18,472 --> 00:08:21,931
Aristotle defined
sound money as being
219
00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:23,430
durable, transferable,
220
00:08:23,514 --> 00:08:25,847
divisible, scarce,
recognizable...
221
00:08:25,931 --> 00:08:27,555
Gilfoyle?
And fungible.
222
00:08:27,639 --> 00:08:28,555
What?
223
00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:30,889
Can we skip ahead 2,400 years?
224
00:08:30,972 --> 00:08:33,555
I mean, I know
what cryptocurrency is.
225
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:36,305
Richard, a lot of work
went into this presentation.
226
00:08:36,389 --> 00:08:38,138
Okay.
Fine.
227
00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:42,722
But you're missing out
on a lot of wisdom, here.
228
00:08:44,972 --> 00:08:46,931
Why don't you tell me
what you know
229
00:08:47,013 --> 00:08:49,430
about Bitcoin
as a jumping-off point?
230
00:08:49,514 --> 00:08:50,931
Okay, sure.
231
00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:54,347
Uh, well, I'm pretty sure it was
founded by a Japanese guy...
232
00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:55,972
Or guys, or girls,
233
00:08:56,055 --> 00:08:59,389
going by the name
Satoshi Nakamoto in 2008.
234
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:00,764
True identity still unknown.
235
00:09:00,847 --> 00:09:03,263
Okay, look, every day
I read an article
236
00:09:03,347 --> 00:09:05,597
about how we're in
a Bitcoin bubble.
237
00:09:05,681 --> 00:09:07,931
And who is writing
those articles?
238
00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:09,722
I don't wanna say
the establishment.
239
00:09:09,806 --> 00:09:12,097
But is it possible that
Warren Buffett
240
00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:14,681
called Bitcoin a pyramid scheme
241
00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:18,514
because he has 92 billion
conventional dollars to protect?
242
00:09:18,597 --> 00:09:21,847
Let's say he's right.
Let's say Bitcoin dies.
243
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:24,972
So what?
MySpace, Friendster, they both died.
244
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:27,722
But they paved the way
for other social media tripe
245
00:09:27,806 --> 00:09:29,555
like Facebook and Twitter
246
00:09:29,639 --> 00:09:32,097
to completely overrun the planet.
247
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:35,514
Crypto is out there.
248
00:09:35,597 --> 00:09:37,180
And it's not going away.
249
00:09:37,263 --> 00:09:39,472
It just feels sketchy.
250
00:09:39,555 --> 00:09:44,263
In the same way that a new
Internet is sketchy, Richard?
251
00:09:44,347 --> 00:09:46,347
Well...
What is crypto?
252
00:09:46,430 --> 00:09:49,472
If not decentralized,
anonymous, secure,
253
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:52,681
and an existential threat
to the powers that be?
254
00:09:52,764 --> 00:09:54,972
I would think that you'd be
all-in on something like that.
255
00:09:55,055 --> 00:09:58,555
Yeah. But do you really think
we can create a currency
256
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,055
worth $30 million?
257
00:10:00,138 --> 00:10:01,639
Because that's what
we'd be giving up.
258
00:10:01,722 --> 00:10:04,472
Maybe. Probably even more.
259
00:10:04,555 --> 00:10:06,097
But even if it's less,
260
00:10:07,013 --> 00:10:10,180
we would still gain
control, autonomy,
261
00:10:10,263 --> 00:10:11,430
board seats and shares,
262
00:10:11,514 --> 00:10:15,514
and you wouldn't have to rely
on a VC who once fired you
263
00:10:15,597 --> 00:10:17,263
from your own company.
264
00:10:19,555 --> 00:10:20,764
So, there is a mode
265
00:10:20,847 --> 00:10:23,222
above Ludicrous Mode.
Am I correct?
266
00:10:23,305 --> 00:10:25,263
Yes. It's called Plaid.
267
00:10:25,347 --> 00:10:27,931
And it comes standard
on the new Tesla Roadster.
268
00:10:28,013 --> 00:10:29,305
How do I get
into one of these babies?
269
00:10:29,389 --> 00:10:32,972
Simple. You put down
a $50,000 deposit today.
270
00:10:33,055 --> 00:10:34,514
Okay.
271
00:10:34,597 --> 00:10:36,097
And you'll be behind the wheel
272
00:10:36,180 --> 00:10:37,639
as soon as they
become available.
273
00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:39,972
And how quickly
will that be, Stephanie?
274
00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:42,222
Soon. We're thinking
a few years,
275
00:10:42,305 --> 00:10:43,889
which goes by fast.
276
00:10:43,972 --> 00:10:45,847
My daughter was
a teenager in high school.
277
00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:47,972
Next thing I knew... I'm
gonna stop you right there.
278
00:10:48,055 --> 00:10:51,222
Your oily salesmanship is
starting to really irritate me.
279
00:10:51,305 --> 00:10:52,389
Okay?
280
00:10:52,472 --> 00:10:54,889
I need to maintain
my Tesla superiority,
281
00:10:54,972 --> 00:10:56,222
and I need to do it now.
282
00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:58,597
Okay, I'm looking at
a new set of wheels here.
283
00:10:58,681 --> 00:11:00,222
The 21-inch Arachnids.
284
00:11:00,305 --> 00:11:03,263
Very nice.
But they're not for sale.
285
00:11:03,347 --> 00:11:05,889
You can only get them through
our referral awards program.
286
00:11:05,972 --> 00:11:07,722
You refer three
other customers to us,
287
00:11:07,806 --> 00:11:11,555
they buy a vehicle and,
zoop-zoop, you get the wheels.
288
00:11:11,639 --> 00:11:14,472
So, if I get more
people to buy Teslas,
289
00:11:14,555 --> 00:11:18,180
then I will have the wheels
and no one else can get them?
290
00:11:18,263 --> 00:11:19,222
Not even Danny?
291
00:11:19,305 --> 00:11:21,055
I'm sorry, who's Danny?
292
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,055
He's the guy with the shitty wheels.
293
00:11:23,138 --> 00:11:26,389
Major Wilkins: And now, the CEO of Hooli,
294
00:11:26,472 --> 00:11:28,097
Mr. Gavin Belson.
295
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:30,180
(cheers and applause)
296
00:11:32,764 --> 00:11:34,472
Thank you, Mayor Wilkins.
297
00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:37,847
Thank you, Goldbriar, for this
warm, wonderful welcome.
298
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,722
You know, being in North Carolina
299
00:11:39,806 --> 00:11:42,597
always feels like a bit of
a homecoming for me.
300
00:11:42,681 --> 00:11:46,889
I own a vacation property
just off the coast in Bermuda.
301
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:49,555
Technically, it is my
primary legal residence.
302
00:11:52,222 --> 00:11:53,931
Good people of Goldbriar,
303
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:56,263
for too long, foreign interests
304
00:11:56,347 --> 00:11:59,180
have used unfair trade
and labor practices
305
00:11:59,263 --> 00:12:02,514
to plunder American wealth
and steal American jobs.
306
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:03,931
But I don't blame them for that.
307
00:12:04,013 --> 00:12:08,972
No. I blame weak, spineless
American politicians.
308
00:12:09,055 --> 00:12:11,097
But if your mayor does his job,
309
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:12,389
your jobs will come back,
310
00:12:12,472 --> 00:12:15,097
and soon, you will
proudly be building
311
00:12:15,180 --> 00:12:18,472
the Gavin Belson
Signature Box Three.
312
00:12:18,555 --> 00:12:20,597
(applause)
But if for some reason
313
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:24,555
he can't make my
very reasonable proposal work,
314
00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:25,889
you know who to blame.
315
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:29,013
I'm excited to get started.
316
00:12:29,097 --> 00:12:31,180
What about y'all?
317
00:12:31,263 --> 00:12:32,681
(cheers and applause)
318
00:12:32,764 --> 00:12:36,806
(marching band plays)
319
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:40,389
♪ ♪
320
00:12:41,555 --> 00:12:42,764
(dramatic sting)
321
00:12:46,889 --> 00:12:49,055
♪ ♪
322
00:12:49,138 --> 00:12:50,430
(sighs)
323
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,222
Jared: Hi, Holden.
Oh.
324
00:12:54,305 --> 00:12:55,305
(dramatic sting)
325
00:12:56,305 --> 00:12:58,889
Jared. Hi.
326
00:12:58,972 --> 00:13:00,055
Hi.
327
00:13:01,055 --> 00:13:02,347
Can I ask you a question?
328
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:03,889
Of course.
329
00:13:04,847 --> 00:13:06,847
Did you ask Richard to tell me
330
00:13:06,931 --> 00:13:10,389
that he liked the sandwich
that you made for him?
331
00:13:11,472 --> 00:13:12,555
No.
332
00:13:17,138 --> 00:13:18,263
Is that the truth?
333
00:13:19,263 --> 00:13:20,305
Yes.
334
00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:25,597
Okay.
335
00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:28,430
Okay.
336
00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:32,263
Good job with that plate.
337
00:13:33,931 --> 00:13:34,972
Thanks.
338
00:13:43,764 --> 00:13:45,055
(inhales deeply)
339
00:13:45,138 --> 00:13:47,639
Dinesh: Now, I can see
the looks on your faces.
340
00:13:47,722 --> 00:13:49,222
I know what you're thinking.
341
00:13:49,305 --> 00:13:52,722
Why does Dinesh care
so much if I buy a Tesla?
342
00:13:52,806 --> 00:13:54,263
I'll tell you why.
343
00:13:54,347 --> 00:13:56,972
Because Teslas
are good for the world.
344
00:13:57,055 --> 00:13:59,555
Surprisingly pedestrian wheels,
but you get over that.
345
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,222
So, come on.
346
00:14:01,305 --> 00:14:03,222
Series B, right?
Cha-ching.
347
00:14:03,305 --> 00:14:05,514
I was gonna use that
to pay off my student loans.
348
00:14:05,597 --> 00:14:06,514
That's boring.
349
00:14:06,597 --> 00:14:08,097
And don't take this the wrong way,
350
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,263
but it seems like it's very important
351
00:14:10,347 --> 00:14:12,972
for you to be the Tesla guy in the office.
352
00:14:13,055 --> 00:14:14,389
Like, weirdly important.
353
00:14:14,472 --> 00:14:17,305
I'm not weird, you're weird.
You guys are being so weird.
354
00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:20,722
Come on. What's it gonna take
to get you into a Tesla today?
355
00:14:20,806 --> 00:14:24,055
Here. I've printed out hundreds of these.
356
00:14:24,138 --> 00:14:26,430
There you go. There you
go, pass these on.
357
00:14:26,514 --> 00:14:27,847
Dave? Dave?
358
00:14:29,138 --> 00:14:31,514
All right, what's this
interesting idea?
359
00:14:31,597 --> 00:14:33,138
Gilfoyle and I were talking.
360
00:14:33,222 --> 00:14:37,180
And this may seem a little
out there at first, but...
361
00:14:37,263 --> 00:14:41,222
Instead of funding
our launch with a series B,
362
00:14:41,305 --> 00:14:42,472
what about...
363
00:14:43,472 --> 00:14:44,472
an ICO?
364
00:14:46,347 --> 00:14:48,847
An initial coin offering?
It's basically a...
365
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,806
Are you a fucking moron?
366
00:14:52,514 --> 00:14:54,597
Maybe I don't need to be here for this.
367
00:14:54,681 --> 00:14:55,972
Sit the fuck down.
368
00:14:56,055 --> 00:14:57,180
Okay.
369
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,138
Richard, what are you doing?
370
00:15:00,222 --> 00:15:02,055
Just exploring our options.
371
00:15:02,138 --> 00:15:04,305
Why? You don't think
I have your back?
372
00:15:04,389 --> 00:15:06,180
Look, I get that
you're giving up
373
00:15:06,263 --> 00:15:07,389
board seats and shares,
374
00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:09,305
but look what you're getting in return.
375
00:15:09,389 --> 00:15:12,472
As if the $30 million you were
getting wasn't good enough,
376
00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:14,972
we provide you with marketing,
networking, staffing.
377
00:15:15,055 --> 00:15:16,931
We help you negotiate partnerships
378
00:15:17,013 --> 00:15:18,138
and navigate regulations.
379
00:15:18,222 --> 00:15:21,097
All these things that are
changing by the minute.
380
00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:24,055
Gilfoyle, can you help
with any of that?
381
00:15:24,138 --> 00:15:26,889
I'd rather just listen
if it's all the same to you.
382
00:15:26,972 --> 00:15:29,138
Look, if you do an ICO,
383
00:15:29,222 --> 00:15:30,681
you're not only
saying fuck you to us,
384
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,138
you're saying
fuck you to all VCs.
385
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,555
Jesus, Richard.
Why would you even
386
00:15:33,639 --> 00:15:36,013
think it would be okay
to talk to me about this?
387
00:15:36,097 --> 00:15:38,347
Like would you ask your wife
who you should cheat with?
388
00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:39,889
No.
389
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:40,931
Well, maybe.
390
00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:42,055
I don't know, I...
391
00:15:42,138 --> 00:15:45,013
I guess I was just looking
for advice from a friend.
392
00:15:45,097 --> 00:15:47,097
Oh, are we friends, Richard?
393
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,639
Yes, of course.
Really?
394
00:15:48,722 --> 00:15:50,263
Have we spoken once in the past year
395
00:15:50,347 --> 00:15:52,472
about anything other than business?
396
00:15:52,555 --> 00:15:54,180
Yes.
397
00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:56,514
Wait. No.
398
00:15:56,597 --> 00:15:58,180
When's my birthday?
Come on.
399
00:15:58,263 --> 00:16:00,097
Do I live in a house
or an apartment?
400
00:16:01,639 --> 00:16:03,180
Did you even know
that I was married?
401
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,347
You are?
I was, I...
402
00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:07,097
had it annulled after three months.
403
00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:09,222
Did he ask you
who he should cheat with?
404
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,847
Look, you came for advice, fine.
405
00:16:14,931 --> 00:16:16,305
Forget an ICO.
406
00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:17,597
Okay? I'm sure Gilfoyle
407
00:16:17,681 --> 00:16:20,013
told you that he can handle
all the technical stuff.
408
00:16:20,097 --> 00:16:22,055
But this is not just a math problem.
409
00:16:22,138 --> 00:16:26,347
They're my direct competition.
I've done my homework on this.
410
00:16:26,430 --> 00:16:28,263
So before you walk away from stability
411
00:16:28,347 --> 00:16:31,222
and gamble your entire company on crypto,
412
00:16:31,305 --> 00:16:32,972
there's another "friend" of yours
413
00:16:33,055 --> 00:16:34,138
I think you should talk to.
414
00:16:35,681 --> 00:16:38,722
I was such a fucking pussy
when Bitcoin broke, Richard.
415
00:16:38,806 --> 00:16:40,222
If I had the balls,
416
00:16:40,305 --> 00:16:42,347
I'd have put every penny
I had into that shit
417
00:16:42,430 --> 00:16:43,347
five years ago,
418
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:44,764
watched it go up, up, up, up, up
419
00:16:44,847 --> 00:16:47,055
and then pulled out right before
it all came crashing down again.
420
00:16:47,138 --> 00:16:48,972
I mean, Jesus,
why didn't I do that?
421
00:16:49,055 --> 00:16:51,430
Fuck me!
But then, it occurred to me...
422
00:16:51,514 --> 00:16:54,389
I own 36 fucking
companies, Richard.
423
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,681
If I make them all ICO,
424
00:16:56,764 --> 00:16:59,305
that's 36 bites at the apple.
425
00:16:59,389 --> 00:17:00,430
So I did it.
426
00:17:00,514 --> 00:17:02,931
You... you did 36 ICOs?
Yup.
427
00:17:03,013 --> 00:17:04,889
Did they work?
You know, one of the things
428
00:17:04,972 --> 00:17:07,138
being in the three comma club
has taught me, Richard,
429
00:17:07,222 --> 00:17:08,430
is it's not always about money.
430
00:17:08,514 --> 00:17:10,180
Sometimes, it's about wisdom.
431
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:13,847
And did I lose a B?
Close to it. Fuck!
432
00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:16,597
But I bet I gained
two B in wisdom.
433
00:17:16,681 --> 00:17:18,347
So you lost it all?
434
00:17:19,681 --> 00:17:22,639
Ha, ha, Richard, if I didn't
love this crazy guy so much,
435
00:17:22,722 --> 00:17:23,931
I'd knock his fucking teeth out.
436
00:17:24,013 --> 00:17:25,806
Nah, nah, I didn't lose it all.
437
00:17:25,889 --> 00:17:28,347
I mean, one of them
got shut down by the SEC.
438
00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:30,138
On a few, we got scammed.
439
00:17:30,222 --> 00:17:31,514
But some of them worked.
440
00:17:32,972 --> 00:17:33,972
One of them worked.
441
00:17:34,055 --> 00:17:36,931
One? One out of 36?
442
00:17:37,013 --> 00:17:37,972
Yeah. Listen,
443
00:17:38,055 --> 00:17:40,430
all the coin I had from
the ICO that worked
444
00:17:40,514 --> 00:17:41,972
was on a USB thumb drive.
445
00:17:42,055 --> 00:17:43,472
And my dumb fucking housekeeper
446
00:17:43,555 --> 00:17:44,972
threw out my jeans,
'cause they were ripped.
447
00:17:45,055 --> 00:17:46,472
Even though I paid more
for the ripped ones.
448
00:17:46,555 --> 00:17:48,263
And the thumb drive
was in the pocket, so.
449
00:17:48,347 --> 00:17:51,138
$300 million in crypto
is buried out here, somewhere.
450
00:17:51,222 --> 00:17:52,639
But my boys will find it.
451
00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:54,514
If they wanna get paid, right?
452
00:17:55,555 --> 00:17:56,806
And when they do,
453
00:17:56,889 --> 00:17:58,639
that coin could cover all the losers.
454
00:17:58,722 --> 00:18:01,055
I mean, it's up 3,000%
in the last two weeks.
455
00:18:01,138 --> 00:18:03,305
If it keeps going like this over
the next three, four months,
456
00:18:03,389 --> 00:18:05,138
we could be talking
the four comma club!
457
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:06,847
That's a T, not a B, Richard.
(man whistling)
458
00:18:06,931 --> 00:18:09,347
Mr. Hanneman!
Shit, you found it?
459
00:18:09,430 --> 00:18:13,347
(laughs)
Jose! Yes! No!
460
00:18:13,430 --> 00:18:14,931
I said a thumb drive.
461
00:18:15,013 --> 00:18:16,639
In the...
that's an actual thumb.
462
00:18:16,722 --> 00:18:19,305
That's a human...
Just fucking put that back!
463
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:22,847
Again, Richard...
464
00:18:22,931 --> 00:18:24,180
the math is sound.
465
00:18:24,263 --> 00:18:27,722
♪ ♪
466
00:18:30,013 --> 00:18:32,555
Well, Mayor, I sure have
enjoyed our time together.
467
00:18:32,639 --> 00:18:33,847
Let me know when you get this done.
468
00:18:33,931 --> 00:18:36,847
Uh, Mr. Belson, I'm sorry,
but this list of demands
469
00:18:36,931 --> 00:18:39,681
is not remotely workable
for a community of our size.
470
00:18:39,764 --> 00:18:42,055
A mayor's job is never easy.
471
00:18:42,138 --> 00:18:43,389
But you'll find a way,
472
00:18:43,472 --> 00:18:44,931
if you care about your constituents.
473
00:18:45,013 --> 00:18:46,931
Mr. Belson, I grew up in this town.
474
00:18:47,013 --> 00:18:48,347
I've lived here my entire life.
475
00:18:48,430 --> 00:18:50,389
I'd do anything to...
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
476
00:18:50,472 --> 00:18:52,347
Your entire life?
Mm-hmm.
477
00:18:52,430 --> 00:18:55,180
How old are you?
Forty-seven.
478
00:18:55,263 --> 00:18:56,722
That's a little weird, isn't it?
479
00:18:56,806 --> 00:19:00,347
The point is, I'd do anything
to help the people of this area.
480
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:04,555
But giving you public money on this
scale would decimate our budget.
481
00:19:04,639 --> 00:19:07,013
I could have the local
high school renamed after you.
482
00:19:07,097 --> 00:19:09,389
Rosa Parks has never even
been to Goldbriar.
483
00:19:09,472 --> 00:19:10,931
I don't want a fucking high school.
484
00:19:11,013 --> 00:19:14,138
I wanna manufacture boxes
at an 80% profit margin.
485
00:19:14,222 --> 00:19:15,305
I don't understand.
486
00:19:15,389 --> 00:19:17,013
All my asshole friends
keep getting
487
00:19:17,097 --> 00:19:19,347
NFL stadiums
and corporate headquarters,
488
00:19:19,430 --> 00:19:20,722
all fully paid for.
489
00:19:20,806 --> 00:19:23,847
And you can't make
one fucking factory happen?
490
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:27,055
I mean, the only things I have left
to cut are essential services.
491
00:19:27,138 --> 00:19:28,889
There you go. Do that.
492
00:19:28,972 --> 00:19:30,555
You could have
a volunteer fire department.
493
00:19:30,639 --> 00:19:32,931
Because I can't afford
a penny more than this.
494
00:19:36,514 --> 00:19:37,972
Man:
Everybody ready?
495
00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:39,347
(blows pitch pipe)
496
00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:40,597
Two, three!
497
00:19:40,681 --> 00:19:42,972
♪ Oh Carolina prowl off ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do ♪
498
00:19:43,055 --> 00:19:45,180
♪ Jump an prance, oh Carolina ♪
499
00:19:45,263 --> 00:19:47,764
♪ Prowl off jump an prance ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do ♪
500
00:19:47,847 --> 00:19:50,514
♪ Oh Carolina gal prowl off ♪
501
00:19:50,597 --> 00:19:52,806
♪ Gal yuh fi jump an prance ♪
502
00:19:52,889 --> 00:19:54,138
♪ Prowl off ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do ♪
503
00:19:54,222 --> 00:19:55,681
♪ Jump and prance ♪
504
00:19:55,764 --> 00:19:59,555
(jet engines revving)
♪ Carolina come bubble 'pon me ♪
505
00:19:59,639 --> 00:20:03,180
♪ Oh, watch how she groove ♪
506
00:20:05,722 --> 00:20:07,555
Dinesh: So, pretty sweet, right?
507
00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:08,889
Woman: Yeah, it's nice.
508
00:20:08,972 --> 00:20:11,222
Sorry we couldn't find
a safe spot to try Insane Mode.
509
00:20:11,305 --> 00:20:13,097
It feels like your
kidneys are gonna get, like,
510
00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:14,597
ripped right through
the back of your body.
511
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,931
It's like... Yeah, I don't
think I'd wanna do that.
512
00:20:17,013 --> 00:20:18,347
Well you don't need to do it.
513
00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:21,222
But you wanna be able to
tell people that you can do it.
514
00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:23,681
Right? It's like having a gun.
515
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,597
So, Charlie and Nadia
have already said yes.
516
00:20:26,681 --> 00:20:29,222
You'll finally have something
to talk to them about.
517
00:20:29,305 --> 00:20:31,013
Oh, let me think about it.
518
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:34,472
Fine. Okay, just pull into
the designated EV...2.8 seconds.
519
00:20:34,555 --> 00:20:35,972
Oh, fuck.
520
00:20:36,055 --> 00:20:37,472
Danny already got his car.
521
00:20:37,555 --> 00:20:40,013
I'll pay your down payment and first
three months. Do we have a deal?
522
00:20:40,097 --> 00:20:41,389
Wow, really?
523
00:20:42,764 --> 00:20:43,889
Make it six months.
524
00:20:45,055 --> 00:20:46,055
Fine! Okay, just go.
525
00:20:46,138 --> 00:20:47,972
Hide before Danny
sees us in this shitty car.
526
00:20:48,055 --> 00:20:49,472
Go, go, go. Go.
Wow, uh...
527
00:20:49,555 --> 00:20:51,639
♪ ♪
528
00:20:51,722 --> 00:20:53,430
(phone vibrating)
529
00:20:53,514 --> 00:20:54,597
Hello?
530
00:20:54,681 --> 00:20:56,138
Hey, guess what?
531
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:58,389
My boss just bought me a car!
532
00:20:59,555 --> 00:21:02,055
What? No! Ew. Ugh!
533
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,972
Richard? Ron LaFlamme's
office just called.
534
00:21:07,055 --> 00:21:09,806
And the series B paperwork
is ready for you to sign.
535
00:21:11,472 --> 00:21:12,764
Okay.
536
00:21:12,847 --> 00:21:16,138
Uh, well, then I guess I'll
just go over there and sign it.
537
00:21:16,222 --> 00:21:18,847
Richard, I know you were
pinning your hopes on the ICO,
538
00:21:18,931 --> 00:21:21,514
but I... I think series B
is the right call.
539
00:21:21,597 --> 00:21:23,597
Yeah, no, I... I hope so.
540
00:21:23,681 --> 00:21:25,555
We're gonna get
the money we need to launch,
541
00:21:25,639 --> 00:21:28,097
and everyone out there
is gonna get a great bonus.
542
00:21:28,180 --> 00:21:31,013
And then, you're gonna have
an army of happy
543
00:21:31,097 --> 00:21:33,305
and highly motivated workers...
544
00:21:34,430 --> 00:21:35,389
Richard:
Jared?
545
00:21:35,472 --> 00:21:36,806
Everything okay with Holden?
546
00:21:36,889 --> 00:21:38,806
You mean, like, mentally?
547
00:21:38,889 --> 00:21:40,514
I was wondering that, too.
548
00:21:40,597 --> 00:21:42,806
No. No, no.
Just, like...
549
00:21:42,889 --> 00:21:44,222
like, with you and him.
550
00:21:44,305 --> 00:21:47,222
Just seems like you're being
really hard on him.
551
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:48,514
Do you like him?
552
00:21:48,597 --> 00:21:50,347
Yeah. I mean, sure.
553
00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:53,430
Okay. It's okay
if you like him.
554
00:21:53,514 --> 00:21:55,222
That's all that matters, right?
555
00:21:55,305 --> 00:21:56,222
Yeah.
556
00:21:56,305 --> 00:21:58,555
Okay. Well,
I'll see you when, uh...
557
00:21:58,639 --> 00:22:01,180
I'll see you when you
get back from LaFlamme's.
558
00:22:01,263 --> 00:22:04,764
♪ ♪
559
00:22:04,847 --> 00:22:06,472
(dramatic sting)
560
00:22:11,305 --> 00:22:13,972
Laurie: Every institutional
investor to whom I reached out
561
00:22:14,055 --> 00:22:15,806
agreed to participate
in our second fund.
562
00:22:15,889 --> 00:22:19,889
The capital issues we faced
due to Eklow's failure
563
00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:21,013
have been remedied.
564
00:22:21,097 --> 00:22:23,138
Laurie, you are a badass.
565
00:22:25,305 --> 00:22:27,222
Ah, yes. A compliment.
566
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:30,889
Well, I think the numbers
in our new prospectus
567
00:22:31,013 --> 00:22:32,514
speak for themselves.
568
00:22:35,013 --> 00:22:38,013
Sorry, you're projecting
that 70% of Pied Piper's
569
00:22:38,097 --> 00:22:41,222
operating income is gonna
come from ad sales, but...
570
00:22:41,305 --> 00:22:42,722
Pied Piper's not gonna sell ads.
571
00:22:42,806 --> 00:22:45,847
Yes. I understand that
is their current position.
572
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:48,389
No, Laurie, when we
offered them their series B,
573
00:22:48,472 --> 00:22:50,889
I promised Richard that
we would never make them
574
00:22:50,972 --> 00:22:52,222
harvest data or sell ads.
575
00:22:52,305 --> 00:22:55,305
However, that language is
not part of their term sheet.
576
00:22:55,389 --> 00:22:59,389
I am not saying that we will
force their hand on this issue.
577
00:22:59,472 --> 00:23:04,180
But neither am I saying
definitively that we will not.
578
00:23:04,263 --> 00:23:08,222
Okay, but you and I,
we are partners, right?
579
00:23:08,305 --> 00:23:09,389
Of course.
580
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:12,263
Any decision we make, we will
certainly make together.
581
00:23:12,347 --> 00:23:14,931
Good. As long as that's clear.
582
00:23:15,013 --> 00:23:17,347
And again, great job
closing our funding.
583
00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:20,263
Ah, yes. Huzzah. Onward.
584
00:23:24,847 --> 00:23:27,097
♪ ♪
585
00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:28,138
Laurie, did you have
586
00:23:28,222 --> 00:23:30,138
the big, hairy question
put back on my wall?
587
00:23:30,222 --> 00:23:31,555
Yes. I like it there.
588
00:23:31,639 --> 00:23:32,722
But I don't.
589
00:23:33,764 --> 00:23:34,764
And yet...
590
00:23:39,722 --> 00:23:42,013
All right.
One more, right there.
591
00:23:42,097 --> 00:23:44,889
And done-zo.
592
00:23:44,972 --> 00:23:46,722
Series ba-bam.
593
00:23:46,806 --> 00:23:48,305
Richard, don't sign it.
594
00:23:48,389 --> 00:23:49,472
Look, I can't protect you.
595
00:23:49,555 --> 00:23:51,472
At some point, Laurie's
gonna fuck you over
596
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:52,847
and make you sell ads.
What?
597
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,555
And I don't think there's
anything I can do about it.
598
00:23:54,639 --> 00:23:57,681
Don't sign the deal.
I just did. It's done.
599
00:23:57,764 --> 00:23:58,972
Jesus Christ.
600
00:23:59,055 --> 00:24:00,347
Laurie's gonna sell ads.
601
00:24:00,430 --> 00:24:02,263
Isn't that what I told you?
602
00:24:02,347 --> 00:24:04,263
What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
603
00:24:04,347 --> 00:24:05,764
(bang) God!
604
00:24:05,847 --> 00:24:08,430
You know I can just tear these up, right?
605
00:24:11,972 --> 00:24:13,639
No, I know. Good.
606
00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:16,681
Gavin: I like it.
607
00:24:16,764 --> 00:24:18,681
But can we adjust
the proportions?
608
00:24:18,764 --> 00:24:20,347
Make the logo bigger?
609
00:24:20,430 --> 00:24:22,514
And... and make the flag bigger?
610
00:24:22,597 --> 00:24:24,639
And... and make
the box bigger, too.
611
00:24:24,722 --> 00:24:27,055
It all just needs to be bigger.
612
00:24:27,138 --> 00:24:28,514
Okay.
613
00:24:28,597 --> 00:24:30,180
Bigger.
Yeah.
614
00:24:30,263 --> 00:24:32,514
Sir.
Ah, Hoover.
615
00:24:32,597 --> 00:24:34,180
How's the factory coming?
616
00:24:34,263 --> 00:24:35,472
We almost online?
617
00:24:35,555 --> 00:24:37,764
Not exactly, sir.
618
00:24:37,847 --> 00:24:38,847
It's gone.
619
00:24:38,931 --> 00:24:40,263
What do you mean?
620
00:24:40,347 --> 00:24:42,305
Did that dipshit mayor
renege on our deal?
621
00:24:42,389 --> 00:24:43,972
No, he made every effort,
622
00:24:44,055 --> 00:24:45,972
including having
the factory repainted.
623
00:24:46,055 --> 00:24:47,597
Okay. So what's the problem?
624
00:24:47,681 --> 00:24:51,222
Well, apparently, the painters left
some oily rags in a garbage can.
625
00:24:51,305 --> 00:24:55,013
Mm-hmm. But because of cuts
to the sanitation service,
626
00:24:55,097 --> 00:24:56,472
the trash was not collected
627
00:24:56,555 --> 00:24:58,263
and the rags smoldered
and caught fire.
628
00:24:58,347 --> 00:25:00,639
And because of cuts
to the fire department,
629
00:25:00,722 --> 00:25:01,722
the blaze spread.
630
00:25:01,806 --> 00:25:03,764
A number of concerned citizens
631
00:25:03,847 --> 00:25:05,222
volunteered to help
fight the fire,
632
00:25:05,305 --> 00:25:08,138
but because the water
was cut off, they could not.
633
00:25:08,222 --> 00:25:09,472
Okay, so what happened?
634
00:25:09,555 --> 00:25:12,305
Well, the vast majority of our
expensive, rare earth materials
635
00:25:12,389 --> 00:25:13,305
survived the fire.
636
00:25:13,389 --> 00:25:14,722
Well, that's something.
637
00:25:14,806 --> 00:25:16,389
Until the flames abated,
638
00:25:16,472 --> 00:25:18,639
when because
of mass layoffs of police,
639
00:25:18,722 --> 00:25:20,889
the locals that were
there to fight the fire
640
00:25:20,972 --> 00:25:24,097
decided instead to loot
the burned-out factory.
641
00:25:24,180 --> 00:25:26,972
The National Guard
attempted to reach the factory
642
00:25:27,055 --> 00:25:28,138
to help stop this, but...
643
00:25:28,222 --> 00:25:30,430
The roads.
The roads, sir, yes.
644
00:25:30,514 --> 00:25:31,764
Okay.
645
00:25:31,847 --> 00:25:33,764
So, we lost it all?
646
00:25:33,847 --> 00:25:35,263
Everything?
Yes.
647
00:25:36,722 --> 00:25:38,347
Also, the IRS called.
648
00:25:38,430 --> 00:25:40,514
Somehow, they found out
about Bermuda.
649
00:25:42,055 --> 00:25:45,931
♪ ♪
650
00:25:46,013 --> 00:25:48,097
Look, when you take it
all into account,
651
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:49,722
turning down our series B
652
00:25:49,806 --> 00:25:51,389
and doing an ICO
to fund your launch,
653
00:25:51,472 --> 00:25:53,722
may actually give you
the best odds.
654
00:25:53,806 --> 00:25:55,597
You said ICOs are suicide.
655
00:25:55,681 --> 00:25:56,806
Well, I'm a VC
656
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,097
and some of that might have
been self-preservational.
657
00:25:59,180 --> 00:26:00,472
Okay.
658
00:26:00,555 --> 00:26:02,847
Well, even if you were
exaggerating, you're still right.
659
00:26:02,931 --> 00:26:06,472
I mean, Russ Hanneman had
36 chances to make an ICO work
660
00:26:06,555 --> 00:26:07,764
and he basically failed.
661
00:26:07,847 --> 00:26:08,847
I only have one.
662
00:26:08,931 --> 00:26:11,347
Look, Gilfoyle can handle
all the technical stuff.
663
00:26:11,430 --> 00:26:12,722
You just need to hire someone
664
00:26:12,806 --> 00:26:13,889
who can handle
the business side.
665
00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:15,722
Like who?
I don't know.
666
00:26:15,806 --> 00:26:18,472
I'm sorry, but I gotta
Uber back to the office
667
00:26:18,555 --> 00:26:19,889
before Laurie realizes I'm gone.
668
00:26:19,972 --> 00:26:21,555
No, no, wait.
Who do I hire?
669
00:26:21,639 --> 00:26:23,764
Someone who understands
securities, right?
670
00:26:23,847 --> 00:26:24,847
Not necessarily.
671
00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:26,597
I mean, your coin doesn't
have to be a security.
672
00:26:26,681 --> 00:26:28,597
You could do a utility
token instead,
673
00:26:28,681 --> 00:26:30,430
since you provide
an actual unit of compute.
674
00:26:30,514 --> 00:26:32,764
Although, you'd have to
convince the SEC.
675
00:26:33,889 --> 00:26:35,472
Damn it. Surge pricing.
676
00:26:35,555 --> 00:26:37,389
Monica. You might not
even need to bother
677
00:26:37,472 --> 00:26:39,597
with a moving average pricing
strategy when you launch.
678
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:41,305
But you will need to
keep a close eye on
679
00:26:41,389 --> 00:26:42,889
statements from
the federal government,
680
00:26:42,972 --> 00:26:43,931
South Korea, and China.
681
00:26:44,013 --> 00:26:45,514
So, whoever you do hire
682
00:26:45,597 --> 00:26:47,180
should definitely know
how to do all that.
683
00:26:47,263 --> 00:26:48,180
Okay, six minutes.
684
00:26:48,263 --> 00:26:50,389
Monica.
What?
685
00:26:50,472 --> 00:26:51,764
It's you.
686
00:26:51,847 --> 00:26:53,013
You're the right person.
687
00:26:53,097 --> 00:26:54,931
No.
688
00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:56,347
No. No, no, no, no, no.
689
00:26:56,430 --> 00:26:57,931
Come on.
Give me one good reason.
690
00:26:59,055 --> 00:27:01,472
I... love my job.
691
00:27:01,555 --> 00:27:02,555
You hate working for Laurie.
692
00:27:02,639 --> 00:27:05,847
With Laurie, okay?
We are both equal partners.
693
00:27:05,931 --> 00:27:07,097
Okay.
694
00:27:07,180 --> 00:27:10,305
Look, Monica.
I will do the ICO.
695
00:27:10,389 --> 00:27:12,305
But only if you do it with me.
696
00:27:15,639 --> 00:27:16,639
Come on.
697
00:27:17,806 --> 00:27:18,889
Wait, what's happening?
698
00:27:20,013 --> 00:27:21,305
Canceling my Uber.
699
00:27:23,138 --> 00:27:25,180
So, you're in?
Fuck it.
700
00:27:25,263 --> 00:27:26,305
I'm in.
(laughs)
701
00:27:26,389 --> 00:27:27,389
Fuck series B.
702
00:27:27,472 --> 00:27:29,222
PiedPiperCoin is
totally gonna work.
703
00:27:29,305 --> 00:27:31,681
Yes. It is.
It totally is.
704
00:27:37,138 --> 00:27:38,389
Dinesh: So, just to confirm,
705
00:27:38,472 --> 00:27:40,347
in order for this coin
to be worth
706
00:27:40,430 --> 00:27:42,138
what series B
was worth to all of us,
707
00:27:42,222 --> 00:27:43,889
it has to sell for how much?
708
00:27:43,972 --> 00:27:45,847
$68.
709
00:27:45,931 --> 00:27:47,055
Dinesh: I see.
710
00:27:47,138 --> 00:27:50,722
And seven cents is less than that.
711
00:27:50,806 --> 00:27:51,889
Yup.
712
00:27:51,972 --> 00:27:53,847
Whose idea was this again?
713
00:27:53,931 --> 00:27:57,097
I believe the initial idea was Gilfoyle's.
714
00:27:57,180 --> 00:27:58,806
To be fair, it was Monica
715
00:27:58,889 --> 00:28:01,389
who really pushed it
over the goal line.
716
00:28:01,472 --> 00:28:04,222
Well, I'm gonna head
down to the Tesla dealer
717
00:28:04,305 --> 00:28:06,305
and beg them to take my car back.
718
00:28:07,389 --> 00:28:09,430
Well, that's something.
719
00:28:09,514 --> 00:28:11,180
And my two referrals fell through.
720
00:28:11,263 --> 00:28:12,597
And I had to return mine.
721
00:28:12,681 --> 00:28:15,305
So now the only Tesla
in the office is Priyanka's
722
00:28:15,389 --> 00:28:16,889
and I'm paying for that.
723
00:28:16,972 --> 00:28:18,514
So, that's cool.
724
00:28:18,597 --> 00:28:21,263
Richard, adversity is a great teacher.
725
00:28:21,347 --> 00:28:23,180
Just like cigarette burns.
726
00:28:25,972 --> 00:28:28,180
(phone ringing, vibrating)
727
00:28:31,180 --> 00:28:33,055
Laurie, hi.
728
00:28:33,138 --> 00:28:34,055
Laurie: Monica.
729
00:28:34,138 --> 00:28:37,180
Congratulations on the ICO.
(scoffs)
730
00:28:37,263 --> 00:28:41,430
Yeah, yeah. Not quite
the numbers we were hoping for.
731
00:28:41,514 --> 00:28:43,013
I'm sure you're happy about that.
732
00:28:43,097 --> 00:28:44,597
On the contrary.
733
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:46,222
Monica, you have certain values.
734
00:28:46,305 --> 00:28:48,722
And I see no reason you should not
work with companies that share them.
735
00:28:48,806 --> 00:28:53,305
Similarly, I should work with
companies that share my values.
736
00:28:53,389 --> 00:28:54,639
So, no hard feelings?
737
00:28:54,722 --> 00:28:57,472
No feelings at all, Monica.
738
00:28:57,555 --> 00:28:58,681
We are friends
739
00:28:58,764 --> 00:29:01,305
and we should not let business
get in the way of that.
740
00:29:01,389 --> 00:29:04,514
Speaking of, I am
stepping into a meeting.
741
00:29:04,597 --> 00:29:07,597
Right, well, I'm surprised
you're taking this so well,
742
00:29:07,681 --> 00:29:08,972
I really appreciate it, Laurie.
743
00:29:09,055 --> 00:29:10,263
Let us talk soon.
744
00:29:12,972 --> 00:29:16,222
(speaking Chinese)
745
00:29:17,806 --> 00:29:19,639
(speaks Chinese)
746
00:29:19,722 --> 00:29:21,013
Have you received my proposal?
747
00:29:21,097 --> 00:29:23,055
(speaks Chinese) Very promising.
748
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:28,681
("Metalstorm" by Cut Chemist)
749
00:29:28,764 --> 00:29:31,347
♪ In the land of the lost,
we lay down law ♪
750
00:29:31,430 --> 00:29:33,764
♪ Chopping off your head
to take your face on tour ♪
751
00:29:33,847 --> 00:29:36,347
♪ Lacerate your lips,
then we shave off more ♪
752
00:29:36,430 --> 00:29:38,514
♪ Electrocute your body
through the encore ♪
753
00:29:38,597 --> 00:29:40,972
♪ When the cops come
and try to raid the jams ♪
754
00:29:41,055 --> 00:29:43,347
♪ I change my physical form
to that of a ram ♪
755
00:29:43,430 --> 00:29:45,430
♪ Alakazam, I'm half of a man ♪
756
00:29:45,514 --> 00:29:48,013
♪ The other part of me
operates robotically ♪
757
00:29:48,097 --> 00:29:50,305
♪ Psychology is
the dominant factor ♪
758
00:29:50,389 --> 00:29:53,013
♪ Believe in the holograms
and step into the backdoor ♪
759
00:29:53,097 --> 00:29:54,972
♪ Out for AM, more mayhem ♪
760
00:29:55,055 --> 00:29:57,681
♪ Five fatal steps to death
unless we trace them ♪
761
00:29:57,764 --> 00:29:59,597
♪ Five: Hesitate to get live ♪
762
00:29:59,681 --> 00:30:02,222
♪ Your career's postmortem,
now you can't survive ♪
763
00:30:02,305 --> 00:30:04,180
♪ Four: Perpetuate the folklore ♪
764
00:30:04,263 --> 00:30:06,847
♪ Live a lie, you can't
identify yourself no more ♪
765
00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:08,847
♪ Three: Call yourself an MC ♪
766
00:30:08,931 --> 00:30:11,389
♪ Practice minimally
and start fucking with me ♪
767
00:30:11,472 --> 00:30:14,055
♪ Or the sorcery
to the ultimate degree ♪
768
00:30:14,138 --> 00:30:16,180
♪ W-A-R W-M-D ♪
769
00:30:16,263 --> 00:30:18,430
♪ C-W-O fall in love
with the dough ♪
770
00:30:18,514 --> 00:30:19,681
♪ Till your spiritual essence ♪
771
00:30:19,764 --> 00:30:21,138
♪ Is something that
you don't know about ♪
772
00:30:21,222 --> 00:30:22,847
♪ Half the time,
they don't rhyme ♪
773
00:30:22,931 --> 00:30:24,555
♪ Half the time,
they all lying ♪
774
00:30:24,639 --> 00:30:26,430
♪ Half the time, they all mine ♪
775
00:30:26,514 --> 00:30:27,931
♪ Half the time,
they all yours ♪
776
00:30:28,013 --> 00:30:30,097
♪ Half the time, we on tour ♪