1 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:12,013 Quite a plan you boys cooked up here. 2 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,348 Quite a plan. 3 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,935 I'm not sure what upsets me more, 4 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:23,816 that I have four employees that conspired to commit felony fraud, 5 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:26,736 or that I have four employees that are so stupid 6 00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:29,280 I found out about it within 30 seconds. 7 00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:32,783 Hearing it out loud, the first one seems worse. 8 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:37,538 We got sales, manufacturing, design, assembly, 9 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,749 logistics teams, they're all ready to go. 10 00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:44,462 All of them on the payroll, all of them here to build me a box. 11 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:50,259 I have a deal, in principle, with maleant to buy the box. 12 00:00:50,343 --> 00:00:53,846 The second that we deliver a product that meets those specs, 13 00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:55,640 we are cashing checks! 14 00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:59,894 And you are the only four people in this building that are fighting me on it! 15 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:03,731 So give me one reason why I don't fire you right now, 16 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:07,902 claw back your options, make you unhireable all over town. 17 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,821 One goddamn reason! 18 00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:18,955 Because you can't. 19 00:01:19,664 --> 00:01:20,790 Excuse me? 20 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,834 This agreement says that you have 10 weeks 21 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:26,837 to complete a working prototype before the deal expires. 22 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,757 So how are you gonna do that if you fire us? 23 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:35,096 There are maybe eight engineers on earth proficient in middle-out compression. 24 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,598 Five of them work for endframe, your competition, 25 00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:40,142 and three of them are here in this office right now. 26 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,813 So if we're gone, I don't think you're ever going to get your box. 27 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:46,607 What do you want? 28 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:49,068 I want to build my platform. Now. 29 00:01:49,986 --> 00:01:52,863 To complete the box project, it's going to take six months at least. 30 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:56,367 So, what I think maybe we should do is 31 00:01:57,243 --> 00:02:01,080 take a little tip from your chart there and we compromise. 32 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:06,877 Compromise is the shared hypotenuse of the conjoined triangles of success. 33 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,296 Mmm-hmm. Yep. 34 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,923 So, uh, what I'm proposing 35 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,802 is we stand up the prototype, that's it. 36 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:19,682 We're not doing any custom features, no new versions, no maintenance, nothing. 37 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:22,852 Richard, the maleant basement. 38 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,228 And no onsite support. 39 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:27,773 I think you can hire other engineers to do that fucking mole monkey work. 40 00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:33,696 The second we write code that satisfies the basic minimum requirement of the deal, 41 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,866 we are off the box and on to the platform. 42 00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:39,243 And that is my final offer. 43 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:42,830 So, what do you say to that... 44 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:44,915 - Whoa! - Richard: Ow! 45 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,500 - Richie! - Oh, my god! 46 00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:48,169 Dinesh: Hey, hey. You okay? 47 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,647 - You were standing and then what happened? - Okay, I'm okay. 48 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,506 - It's just a little shocking. - Oh. 49 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:55,009 What were you saying? Did you... Do we have a deal or... 50 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:58,095 Yeah, Richard, we have a deal. You have a bloody nose. 51 00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:00,264 That was pretty badass, Richard. 52 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,599 Until it wasn't. 53 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,769 (Theme music playing) 54 00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:16,489 Uh, this is not even a room. 55 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,532 This is a hallway. 56 00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:24,288 Uh, it can't be because that is a bed, thus, this is a bedroom. 57 00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:28,501 Two entrances and exits, cross drafts ahoy. 58 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:33,005 And it is the safest room in the event, unlikely, of a fire. 59 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:35,966 Ah. Oopsies. Don't mind me. 60 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,760 Erlich: Ah, Fred, this is Jared. 61 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,554 He actually is, uh, a temporary resident. 62 00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:43,724 While I have you, there were fresh droppings near my cot. 63 00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:44,809 I think you were right. 64 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,561 The havahart traps don't seem to be working. 65 00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:51,732 I was thinking maybe we could just pick a day and just drench it in hawk urine, 66 00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:54,735 because the scent of a predator can keep rodents at bay. 67 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:58,114 It's funny, we're named pied Piper, but we're beset with rats. 68 00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,116 Little rascals. (Chuckles) 69 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:05,955 Gilfoyle: Fuck this. 70 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:11,419 I've been writing quick, bullshit subpar code for 48 hours, and I want to kill myself. 71 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,338 How do you do it every day, dinesh? 72 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:15,589 What a coincidence. 73 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:18,426 I've also been writing bullshit code for 48 hours, 74 00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,553 and want you to kill yourself. 75 00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:24,265 Guys, please. Let's just shit this thing out so we can get on to building the platform. 76 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:28,853 - Hi. - Dang. 77 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,480 - What? - I'm dang. 78 00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:32,857 "I'm dang"? 79 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:34,358 Dang. 80 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,235 What... 81 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:37,361 My name is dang. 82 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:40,114 Oh, my... I'm sorry. What can I do for you? 83 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:43,159 I'm heading the design team that's building the enclosure for the box. 84 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,286 It's time for the concept meeting. 85 00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:47,204 "Concept meeting?" 86 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:51,292 Okay. I'm just going to show you a few pictures, 87 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,377 and you tell me which ones you like, okay? 88 00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:54,712 Okay. Sure. 89 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,840 (Tribal music playing) 90 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,684 Look... wait, hold on. 91 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,061 I thought you were going to show me pictures of boxes. 92 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,771 Like data storage devices. 93 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:13,957 Before I can actualize a box, 94 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,942 you and I need to develop a shared aesthetic vocabulary. 95 00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:19,066 Othennise, I have no idea what you're going to want. 96 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,239 I have a lot of work to do right now. 97 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:24,825 This is work. This is my work. 98 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:27,328 What we're doing here could actually save time. 99 00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:28,704 Okay. Sure. Yeah... 100 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,831 Look, let's just make this simple. 101 00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:33,667 If the box were an animal, what sort of animal would it be? 102 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,461 Leopard? 103 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,172 Butterfly? Rhinoceros? 104 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,049 Stop. Animal? 105 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,675 It's a box. Right? 106 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:46,347 Okay, so if you need an animal, make it a box turtle. How does that sound? 107 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,350 So this is all kind of a joke to you? 108 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:53,521 You know what? I don't actually give a flying fuck what this box looks like, okay? 109 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:56,082 If it was up to me, I wouldn't even have it in the first place. 110 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,191 So, look, here. 111 00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:01,111 This is a black rectangle. 112 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:02,738 Make it that, all right? 113 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,366 Because we're going to take it and put it in a hole 114 00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:07,868 in a sub-basement in a data center, where no one can see it 115 00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:11,455 except for a sad man named John with a ponytail. Okay? 116 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,041 Just make it a box. 117 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,335 And please turn off that fucking music. 118 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,673 (Music stops) 119 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,721 Hello! 120 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,559 It appears there has been a mistake. 121 00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:34,311 Is this not my parking space? 122 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,356 Sorry, a lot of premium spaces are being reassigned. 123 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:40,818 14-a, you've been reassigned to lot d. 124 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,404 Lot d? 125 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:44,947 The structure? 126 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,325 Beyond the freeway? 127 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:51,203 Anywhere above level three, those are reserved. 128 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:53,330 There's a shuttle stop on the ground level. 129 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:54,832 A shuttle? 130 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,673 (Cell phone beeping) 131 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,718 Call Gavin belson. Cell. 132 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,220 (Line ringing) 133 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,494 Gavin: (Over recording) Greetings, friend, 134 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:17,271 I'm not available right now. Please leave a message after the beep. 135 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,514 - I'll get back to you as soon as I can. - (Horn honks) 136 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:27,578 Richard: What the fuck? Why isn't this working? 137 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:31,452 Gilfoer's preprocessor and my compressor should integrate seamlessly. 138 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,662 This should work. 139 00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:39,335 I may have made my preprocessor slightly faster than you asked me to, Richard. 140 00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:41,712 What do you mean? How much "slightly faster"? 141 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,547 200 megs per second. 142 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,757 You dick. 143 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,051 That's eight times as fast as the specs required. 144 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,294 No wonder our modules aren't running at the same speed. 145 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:50,554 Why would you do that? 146 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:54,433 I tried to make it slow. I really did. But I'm not dinesh. 147 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,269 It's very difficult for me to do shitty work. 148 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,229 So, I added a differencing library 149 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,899 and then the whole thing just took off like a rocket. 150 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,778 Wait, so you're not processing whole files, just the changes? 151 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,488 That's actually pretty cool. 152 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,739 Yeah, I thought so, too. 153 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,199 That's why I wrote it. 154 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:14,578 All right, well, I guess I should just revert back. 155 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,497 Right? 156 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,749 Slow my preprocessor way down. 157 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,001 Although, Richard, 158 00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:25,631 couldn't you just rewrite the compressor to make it faster so it's compatible? 159 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,591 I mean, these are minimum speeds, right? 160 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:33,013 Just 'cause making the box sucks doesn't mean we have to suck at making it. 161 00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:37,643 Yeah. Okay. Um, here's one idea. Uh... 162 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,605 What if we actually move upstream and connect the parser... 163 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,566 Both: Directly to the compressor seed functions. 164 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,695 Okay. (Chuckles) 165 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,506 Well, then, the whole thing would really fly. 166 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,449 - Yeah. - Thatwould rock. 167 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,677 Hey, Richard, do you have a sec? 168 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,494 I have a preliminary render for you. 169 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:00,624 What is that? 170 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,544 What do you mean? It's a box. 171 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,213 That's not our box, is it? 172 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,340 Yes. It's exactly what you asked me for. 173 00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:11,844 You drew a rectangle and said, "if it was an animal, it'd be a box turtle." 174 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,888 I mean, are you just going to do the bare minimum and call it a day? 175 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:16,199 I mean, is that, like, what you do? 176 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,642 You said it didn't matter, you said you didn't care. 177 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,853 No one's caring about this. I'm just saying, like, 178 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,914 it's just a matter of pride and, like, self-respect. 179 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,290 I mean, that's gonna go on brochures, man, 180 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,234 that's like an advertisement to you and the company and everything. 181 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:30,404 I can maybe add some color to it and give the bezel a little slam. 182 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,489 There you go. Definitely, a slam. Slam it. 183 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,842 Yeah, maybe add some more lights. 184 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:34,867 Sure. Yeah. 185 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,178 Well, hey, what are you doing standing around here talking about it? 186 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,264 You should go do it, you know? Go ahead and make the damn thing. 187 00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:42,666 Make it a Jaguar 'cause I have a feeling this baby is going to purr. 188 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:46,837 I don't care either, but, you know, I think maybe a gazelle is more like it. 189 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,547 'Cause it's synonymous with speed. 190 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,133 Fuck that. A cheetah's faster. 191 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,593 And it kills fucking gazelles. 192 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,094 But I really don't fucking care. 193 00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:55,929 But definitely cheetah. 194 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,139 Or a gazelle. 195 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,022 Also, don't throw away the whole Jaguar thing, 196 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,257 - yeah, 'cause they're pretty quick too. - Or a gazelle. 197 00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:07,149 Ah! Jared, Jesus fuck! What are you doing? 198 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,776 Sorry. I was... 199 00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:11,528 I was just taking a quiet moment to collect myself. 200 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,614 What the hell is all this shit? 201 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,617 My tenant has been leaving my belongings in the alley behind my condo, 202 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,368 to make more room for his tenants. 203 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:19,703 Your tenant has tenants? 204 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:21,205 Yeah. (Chuckles) 205 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,290 He's airbnbing my airbnb. 206 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,544 So, if it's okay with you, I might need to stay a little bit longer. 207 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:30,798 Um, I can go around the back to get to the bathroom once Fred's here. 208 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:31,882 When's he moving in? 209 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,717 Wouldn't we all like to know. 210 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:38,722 Fred, erlich bachman. 211 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,700 You said you'd get back to me about the room. 212 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:43,519 I don't mean to pressure you, but I need you to decide now. 213 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,646 In this moment, on this phone call. 214 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:49,358 I am literally standing within feet of three potential candidates 215 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:52,194 whose selves I could easily tell to go fuck... 216 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,614 "Good"? What do you mean "good"? What does that mean, you're "good"? 217 00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:59,284 What? What other Incubator? Where? 218 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,703 What is the address? 219 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,540 Because I want to send them a fucking nice gift! 220 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,167 (Tires squealing) 221 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,846 Fucking Miami vice. Disgusting architecture! 222 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,562 Hey, man. What are you doing here? 223 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:28,188 What the fuck are you doing here? 224 00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:30,524 What do you mean? This is my house. Crazy, right? 225 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,819 This place is huge. (Chuckles) 226 00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:37,406 Did you want to... 227 00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:40,492 Yes, it would be polite for you to invite me into your home 228 00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:42,494 and offer me a push pop, yes. 229 00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:43,662 I'm sorry. 230 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:47,040 You're telling me that we should spend less time together? 231 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,750 Absolutely, che/a. 232 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,254 (Sighs) Well, I have to say, this is a big relief. 233 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,090 In all candor, I was feeling the same, 234 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:59,344 but I thought that discussing it with you might be awkward. 235 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,305 (Scoffs) Not at all. 236 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:06,810 You are ready, che/a, to stand on your own, to weather the challenges of the future. 237 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:11,106 And the rumors swirling about your leadership. 238 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,401 Be well, Gavin. 239 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,653 I'm sorry. Wait, what... 240 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,030 What rumors? 241 00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:20,866 There is talk that in the face of a growing threat 242 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:24,661 from Richard Hendricks and pied Piper, armed with a powerful new ceo, 243 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,455 that you have done nothing. 244 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,625 - Well, yes, but... - And that by shuttering nucleus, 245 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:32,502 you have left them to gather strength unopposed, 246 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,254 ceding the entire space. 247 00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:37,257 Some are saying this is a show of great weakness. 248 00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:39,968 Who? Who exactly is saying this? 249 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,097 Well, people talk. 250 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:47,309 In the halls, in the cafeteria, on the parking shuttle. 251 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:50,145 Wait, should I be worried about this? 252 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:57,194 The beauty is, now you have all the answers. 253 00:12:58,946 --> 00:12:59,988 Yes? 254 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:03,742 All right. 255 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:06,328 Denpok, please. 256 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,665 Will you sit back down? 257 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,208 I need your help. 258 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,543 Of course. 259 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,003 Thank you. 260 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:20,676 Clearly, we have come far, but we still have far to go. 261 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,470 Not as far as lot d, 262 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,390 but far nonetheless. 263 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,227 Look what you guys built. 264 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,520 You can't help but be elegant. 265 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,647 You're like Audrey hepburn. 266 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:34,815 Here they come. 267 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,025 Well, I know we made a big deal 268 00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:40,362 aboutjust doing your absolute minimum of your specs, 269 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,990 but one thing led to another and, well, Jack, 270 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:46,159 buckle your seat belt because I'd like to introduce you to... 271 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,245 Richard, just save it. 272 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:52,416 Just got off the phone with Calvin Greene, ceo of maleant. 273 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,626 - They're pulling out. - What? 274 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,003 How can they just pull out? 275 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,230 Because they shopped our deal 276 00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:59,297 and got a better bid from another appliance maker, 277 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,591 so maleant's out, they fucked us. 278 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,010 - Oh. - Jack: Yeah. 279 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:06,888 So, probably we should just push pause on the whole box thing 280 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:10,308 until we figure out where to go from here. 281 00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:14,146 Okay. I... actually, I have a question. 282 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:17,190 Yeah, I know. I know. I know, Richard, we had an arrangement, 283 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,818 but that was all based on closing the maleant deal. 284 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,154 - So now we have to figure out... - No, no, no. Sorry. 285 00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,281 No, my question is, who did they go with? 286 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,825 Whose box do they think is that much better than ours? 287 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,077 Oh, uh, dectosphere. 288 00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:30,287 Dectosphere? 289 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,122 It's a brick with a power cord. 290 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,417 Yeah. But I hear their new 43-11s, 291 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,628 they're going to be hitting close to 75 megs per second. 292 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,964 Uh, we can do 200. 293 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,302 - What? - Richard: Yeah. 294 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,888 Do you think you can get me in a room with Calvin Greene? 295 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,032 Big head: This is the pool. 296 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,701 The first night I was here, I turned the heat, like, all the way up, 297 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,727 and half the water evaporated overnight. 298 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:54,853 It's crazy. (Chuckles) 299 00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:56,039 Well, I hope you own a skimmer 300 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:59,816 because there's a massive turd floating on the surface of your pool. 301 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,861 Who, Fred? Fred's great, man. 302 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:06,073 He's got this really cool, um, malware cataloging thing... 303 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,240 Cut the shit, big head. 304 00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:08,909 I see exactly what you're doing. 305 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,202 Poaching my tenants? 306 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,995 You stole my business model. 307 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,331 What? No. Dude, it's not like that at all. 308 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,084 It's just, this house has, like, nine bedrooms. 309 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,007 You have any idea how scary that gets at night? 310 00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:21,064 So I just wanted to have some roommates around, 311 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:23,298 but, you know, I felt weird charging them rent, 312 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,258 - 'cause, you know. - No, I don't. 313 00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:28,845 Well, it's, like, 20 million, you know? So I don't really need it, 314 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:32,432 but then they felt weird living here without paying me anything, 315 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:35,060 so they offered me pieces of their start-ups. That's all. 316 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:38,814 You just admitted to starting a competing Incubator. 317 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:41,733 I've caught you in a web of your own lies, haven't I? 318 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,778 I don't think so. Wait, have you? 319 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,672 All right, big head. You want to play it that way? 320 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,449 If it's a fight you want, then a fight you shall have. 321 00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:50,742 All of you! 322 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,579 See you, buddy. 323 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,377 Big head. 324 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,254 We'll see. 325 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,340 (Starter motor sputtering) 326 00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:14,599 Fuck! 327 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:15,976 What are we doing here? 328 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,937 Why are we fighting like this? 329 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:22,023 I mean, I'm gonna steal your guys, you're gonna steal my guys. 330 00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:24,901 We'll both wield the heft of our considerable fortunes 331 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,279 until each of us have nearly nothing left. 332 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,614 Is that really what you want? Me either. 333 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,367 So what do you say we join forces? 334 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,827 I'm big enough. 335 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,037 Are you, big head? 336 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,081 Partners? 337 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:40,917 Okay. 338 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,252 Atta boy. 339 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,647 All right, I'm going to take a spin on that fancy Japanese toilet, 340 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,089 and then let's get to work 341 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:49,509 figuring out which one of these bedrooms is gonna be my office. 342 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,722 Gavin: Consider the bulldog. 343 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:58,018 A grotesque monstrosity born of relentless inbreeding. 344 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,605 Riddled with sinusitis, crippled byjoint pain, 345 00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:04,399 chronically flatulent. 346 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:09,279 A kindly pet, or humanity's cruelest mistake? 347 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,616 All right, take it away. 348 00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:18,163 Ladies and gentlemen, just like that horrible creature, 349 00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:21,583 the entire nucleus program was the result of inbreeding. 350 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:26,171 We mated hooli engineers with hooli designers in a hooli kennel. 351 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:30,425 Is it any wonder the result was just as unspeakable as that thing? 352 00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:32,135 Bring it back here! 353 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,513 Look at that hideous face. 354 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,807 All right, get it out of here! 355 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:41,394 I'm sorry, Gavin. What's your point? 356 00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:45,232 My point is, just as not all dogs are as flawed as the bulldog, 357 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:48,985 not all compression plays are as flawed as nucleus. 358 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:52,572 Our execution was lacking, but the idea was correct. 359 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,824 Our only mistake was looking inward. 360 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,785 It is now time to look outward. 361 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:04,876 I mean, this guy did all of the work. 362 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,212 Ten minutes after we leave Calvin Greene's office, 363 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:10,173 he calls me up and says, "hey, you got me. How much?" 364 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,442 - (Chuckles) - I just showed them the box, 365 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,343 Jack's the one who made the deal. 366 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:16,096 Good feelings, happy feelings. 367 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:21,685 So, big head built a better version of your Incubator, accidentally. 368 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,061 Correct. 369 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,646 And he didn't even realize it? 370 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,106 Also correct. 371 00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:29,609 And your solution to that was to go into business with him? 372 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:30,735 Big head? 373 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:35,031 The guy you once called more useless than a bag of dicks without a handle? 374 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:38,076 Dinesh, don't fall for his "aw, shucks" routine. 375 00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:40,078 He is a shrewd businessman. 376 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:46,543 And together, we have over $20,036,000 at our disposal. 377 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:51,172 Now, if you'll excuse me, on to pied Piper. 378 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:56,094 I have a board meeting, and this board ain't exactly gonna meet itself. 379 00:18:57,679 --> 00:19:01,349 Our subsequent order of business is the approval of pied Piper's redraft 380 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:05,395 of the hardware requisition agreement with maleant data systems solutions. 381 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,771 Oh, yeah. 382 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:08,398 The main event. 383 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:12,319 We've all read the latest sales agreement, yes? 384 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,362 Actually, I don't think I was cc'd on... 385 00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,573 So, I believe we can move straight fonnard to a vote? 386 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:17,782 Actually, I'm sorry. 387 00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:21,077 I have an issue with, uh, section 14, paragraph two. 388 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:26,458 Um, it states that maleant has exclusive rights to purchase any appliance made by pied Piper 389 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,168 for the next five years. 390 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,503 Oh, uh, yeah. Jack gave them exclusive rights to the box 391 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,347 so that we would get a better price upfront. 392 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,466 Right, but this language is far broader. 393 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:38,386 They actually have exclusive rights to use the underlying algorithm in any form. 394 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:39,888 Oh, no. That's not right at all. 395 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,264 Yeah, so I think, Jack, 396 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:44,228 we're going to have to go back to them and just change the language here. 397 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,936 We're not going to be able to do that. 398 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,150 And, uh, why not? 399 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:56,488 Because that was the specific language which maleant requested 400 00:19:56,571 --> 00:20:00,742 when I got them to pay three times as much for each one of our boxes. 401 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:06,081 It's a white label deal, so they have the right to resell these boxes in any form they choose. 402 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:09,209 Yeah, but, Jack, if they have exclusive rights to the algorithm, 403 00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:12,128 then we can't use the algorithm to build the platform. 404 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,505 For five years. 405 00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,423 They wanted seven, I talked them down. 406 00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:16,817 I know, but you said that we could 407 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,601 build the platform once we gave you the box. 408 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:21,388 Yes, but I never specified a time frame. 409 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,806 Are you serious? 410 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,725 I save your ass and you stab me in the back like this? 411 00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:26,809 In the front, Richard. 412 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,186 Laurie, did you know about this? 413 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:31,106 - I did not. - Well, then, good, okay. 414 00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:33,983 So it won't go through because Laurie's not going to vote for it. 415 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:38,905 Richard, this is complicated. 416 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,700 If one goes strictly by the numbers, these numbers, 417 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:46,704 you have built a box that is so valuable, 418 00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,416 I am now obligated to vote in favor of it. 419 00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,376 Laurie, this deal is peanuts. 420 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:55,588 The platform could be worth 1,000 times what the box is worth. 421 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,425 It could be, correct, however... 422 00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:01,386 This is theoretical, Richard. 423 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,138 You don't have a price point, I do, 424 00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:06,558 and she has a fiduciary obligation as a member of the board 425 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:07,892 to vote for the box. 426 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:11,271 On the page, this is in the best interest of the company. 427 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,397 Am I wrong, Laurie? 428 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,024 That is factually correct. 429 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:19,028 You remember when you tried to end run me and kill the box? 430 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:21,406 Well, she couldn't do a goddamn thing about it then. 431 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,033 And she can't do a goddamn thing about it now. 432 00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:28,455 Simple majority ratifies the agreement, all in favor. 433 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:31,374 Are you kidding me? What the fuck is going on right now? 434 00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:33,751 Laune. 435 00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:36,337 I wasn't carbon copied on this particular email, 436 00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:37,630 so, I stand with Richard. 437 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:46,389 Richard, you know how I voted to fire you a couple months ago? 438 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,433 And I said that I did it to stay in the game, 439 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:51,895 so that maybe at some point in the future, I could do something to help? 440 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,898 Well, Laurie, 441 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:58,193 I know you'll probably replace me on the board 442 00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:01,613 and call for a revote tomorrow, but I'm here today. 443 00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:05,658 And I don't have any metrics to back it up, 444 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:09,245 but I honestly believe that the platform that Richard wants to build 445 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:12,749 will be far more lucrative in the long term than any box. 446 00:22:13,082 --> 00:22:17,670 So, at least for today, I'm voting no. 447 00:22:19,130 --> 00:22:20,423 Motion denied. 448 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:29,641 We will be reconvening tomorrow. 449 00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:33,937 And if I could get a... An email, be cc'd on the latest draft... 450 00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:35,605 (Raps fingers on table) 451 00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:38,940 I couldn't sit there and watch them do that to you. 452 00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:41,194 I just hope I don't end up fired over this. 453 00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,030 Well, what you did took incredible guts. 454 00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:46,616 And the fact that it probably won't make any difference 455 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,159 makes it all the more meaningful. 456 00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:51,204 Right, I saw this nature documentary 457 00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:55,208 where a bison fought a lion to protect the rest of the herd. 458 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:56,960 And it was so moving. 459 00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:01,714 It didn't work, the lion tore into the bison and then laid waste to the herd, 460 00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:03,675 but what courage. 461 00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,761 Thank you, Jared. 462 00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:09,389 You guys just had to make a great box, didn't you? 463 00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:10,765 You couldn't phone it in. 464 00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:12,267 (Cell phone ringing) 465 00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:16,646 Uh, guys, Gavin belson is calling me. Again. 466 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:18,147 What the fuck does he want? 467 00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,149 Hello? 468 00:23:20,275 --> 00:23:23,903 Richard Hendricks, just checking in, seeing if you heard the news. 469 00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:25,572 What news? 470 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:29,909 Hmm. Obviously, you don't have your hooli news alerts up to date. 471 00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:31,703 Go to the site. I'll wait. 472 00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,957 Go to the hooli news website. 473 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,041 Okay. 474 00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:41,838 It's an ad. 475 00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:45,008 It's an ad. Hold on. 476 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,302 Just wait four seconds and you can click to skip it. 477 00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:49,846 Just wait four seconds and then you can click it. 478 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:52,324 No, it's the kind where you have to watch the whole fucking thing. 479 00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:53,766 It's the whole ad kind. 480 00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:57,103 I thought we stopped doing those. God damn it. 481 00:23:57,186 --> 00:24:00,106 Well, regardless, what you'll see once the paid announcement is over 482 00:24:00,231 --> 00:24:04,777 is that I just closed a $250 million deal 483 00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:07,780 to acquire a little company called endframe. 484 00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:09,616 I thought you'd want to know. 485 00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,951 Update those hooli news alerts. 486 00:24:12,035 --> 00:24:15,204 Also, I invite you to click "yes" if our ad experience was relevant to you. 487 00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:16,581 Be well, Richard. 488 00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:19,917 What did he say? 489 00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:21,961 Oh, my god. 490 00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:25,381 "Gavin belson announces deal to acquire endframe, 491 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:27,800 "a middle-out compression platform company, 492 00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:30,678 "for $250 million." 493 00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:36,559 Even after they shit the bed with nucleus, hooli gets to build our platform and we don't? 494 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,062 (Laughs and coughs) 495 00:24:39,604 --> 00:24:40,938 (Continues laughing) 496 00:24:41,022 --> 00:24:42,315 What is funny about this? 497 00:24:42,398 --> 00:24:43,816 He's intoxicated. 498 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:46,944 No. No... yes, but don't you see? 499 00:24:47,403 --> 00:24:50,573 Gavin, in trying to fuck us, just saved our asses. 500 00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:53,284 (Coughing) 501 00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,411 He's right. He's right. 502 00:24:56,746 --> 00:24:59,040 My gosh. Oh, my gosh, he's right. 503 00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:00,500 Holy shit. 504 00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:02,585 I am so confused right now. 505 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:03,670 Gavin set a... 506 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:05,838 (Coughing) 507 00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:07,215 He set the... 508 00:25:07,298 --> 00:25:08,966 - The price point. - Yes! 509 00:25:09,050 --> 00:25:11,761 Yes, yes, yes. Yes, thanks to Gavin, 510 00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:14,514 endframe, a middle-out compression platform, 511 00:25:14,597 --> 00:25:17,141 is objectively worth $250 million. 512 00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:18,351 Wait, okay. 513 00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:22,480 We are a middle-out compression platform company. 514 00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:24,941 Are we worth $250 million? 515 00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,086 There's no way the box makes us worth a fraction of that. 516 00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:28,695 Laurie couldn't vote for the platform 517 00:25:28,778 --> 00:25:30,988 because she couldn't assign a dollar value to it. 518 00:25:31,072 --> 00:25:33,116 Well, Gavin has just done that. 519 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:36,119 He's validated the market, so there's no reason to revote. 520 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,662 We win. 521 00:25:37,745 --> 00:25:41,332 I can't wait to see the look on that aar prick's face 522 00:25:41,416 --> 00:25:44,210 when we come in there and gut him like a... 523 00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:46,129 (Coughing) 524 00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:47,422 Is he okay? 525 00:25:47,505 --> 00:25:48,881 He's gonna be fine. 526 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:51,342 Welcome, men and ladies of endframe. 527 00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:54,721 Rather than incestuously promoting the same faces from within, 528 00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:58,224 you represent fresh blood, new ideas. 529 00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:00,601 Everything nucleus was not. 530 00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:05,481 It is my honor to personally welcome you all to hooli. 531 00:26:05,982 --> 00:26:08,025 (All applauding) 532 00:26:08,109 --> 00:26:10,153 Does he really not remember us? 533 00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:13,573 How long did you work at hooli? The last time? 534 00:26:13,656 --> 00:26:15,074 Seven years. 535 00:26:15,158 --> 00:26:16,743 I was here for nine. 536 00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:18,161 He was invited to my wedding. 537 00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:22,165 I hope Jack doesn't cry. 538 00:26:22,999 --> 00:26:24,792 I really hope he does. 539 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:30,006 Hey, Gloria. Lynn. 540 00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:32,759 Did they both get fired? 541 00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:34,093 I don't... 542 00:26:35,553 --> 00:26:37,263 Laurie. What are you doing here? 543 00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:38,598 Where's Jack? 544 00:26:41,142 --> 00:26:42,268 As you may recall, 545 00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:45,980 at our board meeting last night, Jack said that he would get his way, 546 00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:48,107 and that, in his words, 547 00:26:48,191 --> 00:26:51,903 I, quote, couldn't do a goddamn thing about it, end quote. 548 00:26:52,570 --> 00:26:56,282 Well, in light of recent activities, 549 00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:59,035 it appears that I could do a goddamn thing about it. 550 00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:00,703 And I just did. 551 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,622 Jack barker has been exited. 552 00:27:02,705 --> 00:27:04,123 Fuck me sideways. 553 00:27:04,207 --> 00:27:05,416 Indeed. 554 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:07,543 Effective immediately, 555 00:27:07,627 --> 00:27:11,214 you are all at Liberty to commence work upon the platform. 556 00:27:12,089 --> 00:27:14,133 Okay. Uh, wow. 557 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:17,845 Yeah, I just got to ask, 558 00:27:17,929 --> 00:27:21,808 with Jack not being ceo anymore, am I ceo again? 559 00:27:21,891 --> 00:27:22,934 You are not. 560 00:27:24,435 --> 00:27:25,812 Nor are you, Mr. Bachman. 561 00:27:25,895 --> 00:27:28,731 I'm sorry, if I'm not ceo, erlich isn't, Jack isn't, 562 00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,817 who is gonna run pied Piper then? 563 00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:34,237 Officially, and until further notice, 564 00:27:35,238 --> 00:27:37,448 this chair will remain empty. 565 00:27:38,115 --> 00:27:40,117 - What, really? - Excuse me. 566 00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:49,168 (Hip-hop music playing)