1 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:08,926 Female narrator: Tables. 2 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:12,305 Tables are made so a person can sit down and do something. 3 00:00:12,388 --> 00:00:14,307 Or nothing. 4 00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:16,184 Any person can sit at a table, 5 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,936 and if the table is large enough, many people. 6 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:22,023 To make jokes, eat a meal, tell stories. 7 00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:25,026 Tables are for people to be together and share. 8 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:28,029 And that is why tables are like pied Piper. 9 00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:31,032 Grapefruits, postcards, hugs. 10 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:33,492 These are things people share to connect, to become closer. 11 00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:36,662 To open up about ideas and things that make us feel alive, 12 00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:41,542 like air, ballet, amazing haircuts, weird countries, 13 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:46,422 three-alarm chili, mountains, continents, the earth, life. 14 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:50,927 Life is beautiful and sad and hopeful and dangerous. 15 00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:52,845 So maybe the reason we share so much 16 00:00:52,929 --> 00:00:55,223 is because we understand that without sharing, 17 00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:57,058 we can't survive. 18 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,393 And sharing is tables. 19 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,312 (Whispers) Pied Piper. 20 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,234 Yes. Tables. I see. It's a metaphor. 21 00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:10,696 - It's a wonderful ad spot. - Yeah. We're all just tables. 22 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,257 I love what you've done with the place. 23 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:15,284 It's a really nicely done place. 24 00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:19,455 Say, is that your dog? 25 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,833 It's a dog. 26 00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,823 You and I have never really had much of a rapport, have we? 27 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:31,300 It's wanting. 28 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,052 Oh, look. 29 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:37,181 Well, we're almost there. Prepare to gather, everyone. 30 00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:41,769 No, I didn't say to gather. I simply said prepare to gather. 31 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:48,150 - Richard: Monica, hey. - Oh, hey. How's it going? 32 00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:50,361 - You holding up okay? - Not really. (Chuckles) 33 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,488 I know. Her parties are always deeply weird. 34 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:56,075 Hey, um, I guess this is as good a time as any to say it, 35 00:01:56,158 --> 00:02:00,288 but I'm really sorry for not getting pied Piper. 36 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:04,709 And to be honest, it's really embarrassing to be so fucking wrong. 37 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,962 Well, here's the thing, you might not be. 38 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,880 What? What are you talking about? 39 00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:11,007 (Indistinct chatter) 40 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,135 Okay. 41 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:18,681 So, well, pied Piper launches and everything's great, 42 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:22,393 and we spent a fucking bazillion dollars, on the tables ad 43 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,689 and now we are almost at 500,000 installs, right? 44 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,275 - Yeah. What's the problem? - Well, as you know, 45 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,819 installs isn't really the metric that matters. 46 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:35,031 We need daily active users, people who come back to the platform. 47 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:37,491 Okay, so how many daily users do you actually have? 48 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:39,052 Okay, what would... what would be a number 49 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,495 that would make you say, (Grunts) "Oh, that's bad." 50 00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:44,749 I don't know, like, 100,000? 51 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,335 Are you less? 52 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,045 How much less? 53 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,715 - Nineteen thousand. - Nineteen thousand less than a... 54 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,843 - Eighty-one thousand? - No. No, just 19,000. 55 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,845 - That's the only number. - What? 56 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,765 - That's... that's terrible. - Yeah. I'm aware. 57 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,184 - Well, yeah, that's art, not a chair. - Uh... oh. 58 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:05,436 Richard! Oh, my... 59 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,247 Wait, you haven't told Laurie yet, have you? 60 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,273 - No. - Okay. Well, who else knows? 61 00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:11,817 - Dinesh and gilfoyle? - No. 62 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:14,570 - Erlich? - (Laughs) 63 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,738 Richard: No. 64 00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:19,492 Monica: Well, apparently Jared knows. 65 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,453 (Theme music playing) 66 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,381 Yeah, pied Piper's sort of what I'm known for, 67 00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:36,884 but I'm into a lot of cool stuff. 68 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,636 Like, a lot. 69 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,013 You seem surprised. 70 00:03:41,097 --> 00:03:43,182 I'll give you an example. A few months ago, 71 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:45,142 I'm at my computer, freestyling, 72 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,894 just kind ofjammin' out, you know. 73 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,647 Before I knew it, I had thrown together 74 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,691 the greatest video-chat app the world has ever seen. 75 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:56,362 So you invented Skype a few months ago? 76 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:59,073 Great ideas just sort of flow through me. 77 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,909 The platform, you know, it's sort of a group project, 78 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:05,413 but the video-chat app, that's my solo album. 79 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:07,957 - Oh, Robert. - I'm dinesh. 80 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,087 What the fuck is going on with you? 81 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:16,674 Could you be more specific? 82 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:18,634 You're hiding something. 83 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,845 (Laughs) What? No, I'm not. 84 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,697 Everything's fine. You know, everything's fine. 85 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,432 That's a lie. 86 00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,434 I could tell because you subscribe 87 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:30,396 to traditional judeo-Christian mores of right and wrong. 88 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,273 You're made uncomfortable by untruth. 89 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,607 (Chuckles) 90 00:04:33,691 --> 00:04:37,445 My commitment to laveyan satanism grants me certain freedoms. 91 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,531 There is no good and evil, there's only self. 92 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,952 - Would you like a beverage? - Yes, I would. 93 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,205 Lie. You just want me to go to the bar and leave you alone. 94 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:49,874 (Laughs and coughs) 95 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:53,461 (Laughs) Gil... you crack me up. 96 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,544 Lie. 97 00:04:54,587 --> 00:04:55,880 (Coughs) 98 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:59,341 I terrify you, as I should. 99 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,720 (Laughs) Get out of here. 100 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,265 Monica: Okay, thank you. 101 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,896 Okay, so, I just spoke with my friend who runs a market research firm. 102 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,739 - Mmm-hmm. - She's gonna set up a focus group 103 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,775 for the platform, put it in the hands of some real users, 104 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:18,837 and hopefully it'll be super-obvious what's going wrong. 105 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:21,489 - Okay, great. - Clink, clink, clink. Gather. 106 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,491 Faster, please. Gather faster. We're close. 107 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:25,409 We need to see the numbers change. 108 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:28,329 All: 499,995, 109 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:32,791 499,996... 110 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,295 (Beeps) 111 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,881 499,997... 112 00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:40,216 (Beeping) 113 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:42,510 (All shouting at once) 114 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:44,887 (Cheering) 115 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,767 Woman: It's going great. 116 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,478 They've been engaging with the platform for about an hour now. 117 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,414 - They're just starting the q and a. - Richard: Oh, great. 118 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:56,482 Thank you, everyone, for sharing your feelings 119 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:59,151 on the revolutionary new pied Piper platform. 120 00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:02,738 Now, bernice, you say here that you were, 121 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:06,033 "totally freaked out by the platform." 122 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,577 What specifically totally freaked you out? 123 00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:12,665 Everything. Just every single thing about it. 124 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,375 Just, like, how it worked. 125 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:19,129 Now, who else found themselves totally freaked out by this platform? 126 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:23,133 Barry, Warren, Natalie, martina, 127 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:26,262 Gwen, Amy, Walker and Clay. 128 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,472 You were all totally freaked out. 129 00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,975 Was anyone not totally freaked out? 130 00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:34,395 Clark? Good. What was your reaction? 131 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,897 It just made me feel stupid. 132 00:06:36,981 --> 00:06:38,983 This file sync thing is confusing. 133 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,236 When I put videos into my main folder, it says it uploaded them, 134 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,405 but then I didn't see where they went. 135 00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,532 It said stuff was on my phone and my iPad, 136 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,951 but when I looked at the memory, it said, "zero k used," 137 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,703 so stuff wasn't on there. 138 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,539 That's the platform. He's describing the platform 139 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,767 and what's great about it. Well, clearly he doesn't get it. 140 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,419 Clearly, none of these people get it. Maybe this is a bad group. 141 00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:01,964 This is the fifth one today and it's the least hostile reaction we've seen. 142 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:06,093 Okay, well, everyone that I showed the beta to loved it. Loved. 143 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,512 - Oh, shit. - What? 144 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:10,806 Who did you give the beta to? 145 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:14,351 - Your friends. Engineers. - Well, yeah, Monica. 146 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,478 I wanted to give it to people who would understand 147 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:19,148 what I'm trying to do, so I could get useful feedback. 148 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,792 And with all due respect, I gave it to you, 149 00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,693 the one person without a computing background, 150 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,987 and you said it felt engineered. (Scoffs) 151 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:28,782 - Oh, shit. - Monica: Yeah. 152 00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,760 You're trying to sell the platform to regular people, 153 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:34,413 but you never actually put it in the hands of regular people. 154 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,623 Like them. 155 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,583 Shouldn't there be a download button? 156 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,170 Did they honestly forget to add a download button? 157 00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:43,552 You know what, Richard, why don't we just go... 158 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,467 I mean, who designed this thing? 159 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,802 I did. I designed it. 160 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,722 Excuse me? Who are you? 161 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:54,933 Uh, my name is Richard Hendricks, I'm the ceo of pied Piper. 162 00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,060 Oh, my god. 163 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,062 Oh, you're the one 164 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,065 - who forgot the download button. - (All chuckle) 165 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,190 Yes. 166 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:05,569 But no. No, actually, there is no download button because, well, 167 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,547 you don't need a download button. We're past that. 168 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,090 I mean, that's the old thing. This guy, actually, 169 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,491 he should have told you that. 170 00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:12,117 I'm a moderator, not an advocate. 171 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:14,161 Okay, well, with pied Piper, 172 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:16,872 you don't need to download anything or send anything at all, 173 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:20,668 anywhere, because the second you take a photo or a video 174 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:24,463 or compose a text message, it's on all of your devices instantly. 175 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,674 - So it's all on my phone? - Yes. 176 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:29,677 Wrong! It says, "zero k used." So it's not on there. 177 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:30,761 Ah-ha! 178 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:31,929 (Laughs) 179 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,765 Yes, well, that's the best part about the platform right there. 180 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:38,519 Yes, because you're right, it's not actually on the phone. 181 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:41,814 But you don't need it to be on the phone 182 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,525 if you can see it on the phone, 183 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,944 even though there's nothing there at all. 184 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,488 But... where the hell is it? 185 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,739 Everywhere. 186 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,118 - And nowhere, sort of. - (Murmuring) 187 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:57,913 Let me... let me just take a step back here 188 00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,749 and explain it in a simpler way. 189 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:02,513 - Um, sorry, what was your name? - Bernice. 190 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,878 Bernice, what did you have for breakfast today? 191 00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:07,631 - Scrambled eggs. - Scrambled eggs. 192 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,717 And what's in the eggs? 193 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,510 Electrons. Right? 194 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,596 And we all know how electrons exist in orbitals. 195 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,765 Multivalent states? No? 196 00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:19,143 No one knows this? Okay. 197 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,562 Okay, that's fine. Bad example. That's on me. 198 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,731 I'll... I'm going to use the whiteboard here. 199 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:25,983 You're gonna... you're gonna love this. Okay. 200 00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:29,611 Then, once we hit a critical mass of users, 201 00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:32,573 the volume of data moving through the system 202 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:36,034 will enable the neural net to start optimizing the platform. 203 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:39,246 It will actually get smarter and faster all on its own. 204 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,914 Is that like when I'm texting 205 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:43,333 and my phone starts guessing what I'm going to say? 206 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,169 This goes way beyond autocomplete. 207 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:49,047 Actually, all of your devices will begin helping each other 208 00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:51,175 in ways that we can't even design or predict. 209 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:54,845 Okay, but see, the problem is... 210 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:55,929 Terminator. 211 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,014 (All agreeing) 212 00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,601 What? No. No, no. (Chuckles) No, no, no. No. 213 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:04,438 I can assure you that there is no skynet type of situation here. 214 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,192 No. Pied Piper will in no way become sentient and try to take over the world. 215 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:10,903 He just told us he couldn't predict it. 216 00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:14,031 I'm just saying... everybody died. 217 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,450 Man: Yeah. Richard: You're right. 218 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,995 In those movies, there were a lot of casualties. 219 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,956 Quite scary to think. It's food for thought. 220 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,583 Speaking of... 221 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,335 Can we order some pizzas in here? 222 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:34,092 So, when we put our files into a pied Piper folder, 223 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,053 they get split up into tiny bits 224 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:40,724 and spread across a network of other users' devices? 225 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,936 Yes, that's peer-to-peer distribution. Continue. 226 00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,813 But they can't look at any of our files 227 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:49,399 because they only have tiny, scrambled pieces of them? 228 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,693 - Encrypted sharding. - Clark with the assist. Great. 229 00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:55,280 - Uh, go on. - But we can look at any of our files anytime, 230 00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:59,618 anywhere, even though they're not actually on any of our devices. 231 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,830 Yes. Yes, bernice, that's it. 232 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,915 That's pied Piper. That's everything. (Chuckles) 233 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:08,252 So it's all on our phones even though it sort of isn't. 234 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,796 Oh, my god. That's awesome. 235 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,297 Isn't it? Yeah. 236 00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:15,092 So, what do you think? Will you use pied Piper now? 237 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,678 - Well, yeah, I think I will. - Me, too, 238 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,514 - now that you've explained how it works. - There you go. 239 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,432 That's what we've been aiming for. (Chuckles) 240 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:25,394 Richard: They get it. 241 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,187 What's he smiling at? 242 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:30,274 This data was corrupted the second he walked in that room. 243 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,780 So we're tanking, and it's because we're too good. 244 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,616 That's one way of looking at it. Uh, yes. 245 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,119 Yes, we have created a product so far ahead of its time, 246 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,289 people are having difficulty wrapping their heads around it. 247 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,041 Well, then we just need to change the platform, right? 248 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,836 - We simplify it. - Richard: Well, we can't. 249 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,423 It's not as if I don't want to, it's just that we literally can't do it. 250 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,944 Um, if you build an airplane and people are afraid of anything that flies, 251 00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,821 you can't just take the wings off of it because, 252 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:04,683 at that point, all you're left with is a really slow, super-expensive shitty bus. 253 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,103 No, we built an airplane, we gotta fly it. 254 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,898 What's the point of flying if it's fucking empty? 255 00:12:10,981 --> 00:12:13,066 I think people will want to fly 256 00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:16,236 once they realize how cool the platform is. 257 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,447 Guys, I know we're in a tough spot right now, 258 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:21,116 and I know we needed a quarter-million daus 259 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,469 in order to get our next round of funding, but this is it. 260 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,912 I think we can do this. 261 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,915 All we gotta do is just take every last dollar that we have, 262 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,917 which is... sorry, Jared, what? 263 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,211 - Well, after the table ads... - (Keyboard clacking) 264 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,797 The salaries, recruiter fees... 265 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,443 You know what? I haven't run the numbers. 266 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,594 It would be irresponsible to estimate. 267 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,764 Okay, is it less than a million dollars? 268 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,892 - Oh, god, yeah. - Okay. 269 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,853 - It's higher than 500,000, right? - Jared: Yeah. 270 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:54,483 I guess it's about $697,240. 271 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,026 But don't quote me on that. 272 00:12:56,109 --> 00:13:00,697 Okay, we use that money to do outreach, tutorials, 273 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,868 user meet-ups, create a guerrilla marketing campaign 274 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:08,038 that explains how cool the platform is. 275 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:12,042 I know it's not ideal, but I really think we can pull this off. 276 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,794 Yeah, that seems doable. 277 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,170 Lie. 278 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:19,299 Or here's another idea. We could put the platform on hold, 279 00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:22,260 take the money we have left, and pivot to something 280 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,888 that doesn't require hours of explanation. 281 00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:28,266 You know, I've been showing people the video-chat app 282 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,061 - that I hacked together and... - Shut up, dinesh! 283 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,897 You ungrateful pricks, all of you. 284 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:39,319 Your tepid response to our intrepid boss makes me ill. 285 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,531 His plan, will it work? Mmm-mmm. 286 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,033 Almost certainly not. 287 00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:47,911 All of you will likely look back at this time in your lives 288 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:51,790 and realize you wasted a whole year with nothing to show for it. 289 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:55,502 But if this company is a plane, then this is Richard's goddamn plane, 290 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,380 and if he wants to fly it into the side of a fucking mountain, 291 00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:02,050 that is his prerogative and it is our duty to climb on, 292 00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:06,471 strap in and have a fiery death right behind him. 293 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,391 Richard: I don't... I don't know about that, but... 294 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,518 Erlich: Richard, the floor. 295 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,980 Crashing aside, I think this is the plan, and, 296 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,899 really, what other option do we have? 297 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,862 Well, I know what option I have. 298 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,113 I can quit. 299 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:24,906 So I quit. 300 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,785 Okay. Any... anybody else? 301 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,164 Guys, no. 302 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,291 Look, Douglas, 303 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,376 customer support is going to be a big part of this. 304 00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:39,254 We need you guys if we're going to get 250,000 users. 305 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,256 I barely have any customers to support, Richard. 306 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,109 And the only way you're going to get that many users 307 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:46,303 is if you go to one of those click farms in Bangladesh and pay for them. 308 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,180 Good fuckin' luck, man. I'm out. 309 00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,974 - Guys, wait. - Jared, let them go. 310 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,851 I have to do their exit interviews. 311 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,145 I guess I can do them on their walk to their cars. 312 00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:58,273 Richard, we're better off without them. 313 00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,566 Lie. 314 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:07,324 This is intolerable. A man can only take so much. 315 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,910 - Mmm-hmm. - Banished from my own company? No. 316 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,787 I'm just going to give them what they want. 317 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:12,996 I'm going to resign. 318 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,917 We can go to Haiti, build orphanages. 319 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,335 Haiti? 320 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:25,801 Is it not said that one should think globally and act locally? 321 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,385 I'm not acting at all. 322 00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:32,015 Lao tzu teaches the best fighter is never angry. 323 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:35,644 More important than the blow is knowing when to strike. 324 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:39,272 Like, perhaps, after we experience 325 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:42,609 the executive white water rafting trip in coeur d'alene? 326 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:43,985 (Door closes) 327 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,614 Gavin, do you have a moment? 328 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,033 Yes. 329 00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:51,827 Alone? 330 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,620 Of course. Denpok? 331 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:54,704 What? 332 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,832 Give us a moment, please? 333 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,549 Gavin, I'm really not supposed to be talking to you, 334 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,590 but there's something I think you should know about. 335 00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:09,886 I'm listening. 336 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:13,140 Hoover: A customer service rep that just left pied Piper 337 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,600 is on campus right now interviewing for a job. 338 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,937 Why would anyone leave pied Piper now? 339 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,690 I thought maybe you'd want to ask him yourself. 340 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:24,776 Well done. 341 00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:26,570 Well done. 342 00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:30,031 Okay. Thank you for coming in, Douglas. 343 00:16:30,115 --> 00:16:31,783 - Yeah. - Right this way. Okay. 344 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:38,748 Douglas. 345 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,962 Consider the possum. Nature's... 346 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:46,590 Gavin, if you're bringing another animal into this boardroom, 347 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:50,468 - this meeting is over. - Of course not. Don't insult me. 348 00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:54,222 Gentlemen and lady of the hooli board, 349 00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:57,184 - I am the possum to which I refer. - (Door closes) 350 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,853 Playing dead to outwit those who wish me harm. 351 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,271 But it's time to end the charade. 352 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,398 I'm sorry, Gavin. What charade? 353 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:07,527 For months, I've led the world to believe that my endframe division was pursuing 354 00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:11,698 a broad-based compression platform in direct competition with pied Piper. 355 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:16,453 But secretly, I knew that any such platform was destined to fail. 356 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,622 But pied Piper is not failing. 357 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,999 It's the most popular app in the hooli store. 358 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,543 One of the most installed, yes. 359 00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:26,922 But I happen to know, because I make it my business to know, 360 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,591 that their daily active user numbers are abysmal. 361 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:33,428 So, you were never developing a platform. 362 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,013 Why didn't you tell us this? 363 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:40,435 Says the chairperson of the board that recently asked for my resignation. 364 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,646 Trust cuts both ways. 365 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,148 I thought it best to leave you out of it. 366 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,733 I'm sorry, Gavin, 367 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,985 I'm just finding all of this impossible to believe. 368 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:50,904 If you were never building a platform, 369 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,615 what did we just spend three-quarters of a billion dollars on? 370 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,879 - I'm not going to tell you. - (Door opens) 371 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,912 Instead, I'm going to let the new head of product 372 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,622 for hooli/endframe tell you. 373 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,210 Hello, everyone. 374 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:08,171 I'm Jack barker, and I'm very excited 375 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,925 to introduce hooli/endframe's newest product... 376 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,596 We call it the box. 377 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:19,683 Gavin: Pied Piper's loss is hooli's gain. 378 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:21,685 May the best product win. 379 00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:23,979 (Indistinct chatter) 380 00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:29,567 Can I get you a shirt, sir? There you go. 381 00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:32,529 Actually, let me ask you a question, Emily. 382 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,447 What did you have for breakfast today? 383 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,408 - Um, yogurt. - Oka y. 384 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:39,202 And we all know what's in yogurt, right? 385 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,621 Electrons. Multivalent states. 386 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,670 Welcome to the pied Piper informational seminar. 387 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,589 Now, what is pied Piper? Excellent question. 388 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,466 Here it is. 389 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:57,971 One of your hooli/endframe boxes would go right here in this rack. 390 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,474 Okay, let me show you the next location 391 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,560 in which we would install one of your boxes. 392 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:08,857 - Congratulations, Jack. - And congratulations to you, Gavin. 393 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,571 Gavin: Hey, John? John? Jack: John? 394 00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:17,324 A lot of people have raised their hands 395 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:20,136 throughout this seminar saying, "hey, is this thing like the Terminator?" 396 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,203 Uh, no. Not at all. 397 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:24,205 Hi, how big are your files? 398 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,166 Dodge challenger? 399 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:27,250 Hoodie? 400 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,353 Jack: John? Gavin: Yo! 401 00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:48,772 Jack: John? Gavin: John! 402 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,815 Both: John! 403 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,026 Richard: This is pied Piper, guys, okay? 404 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,778 If I could just explain it one more time. 405 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,698 Guys? Please don't leave. I beg you. 406 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,451 Hi, bernice. Yeah. 407 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,717 Ad exec: We kind of thought we nailed it with tables, 408 00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:21,221 but you say you want something light, fun, inviting. 409 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,848 But most of all, you want something that delivers 410 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:27,185 a step-by-step guide to all of the nuances of your platform. 411 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,908 - Yeah. - All of this with the caveat that 412 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,606 you don't have enough money for even a minuscule ad buy. 413 00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:33,817 Yes, that's right. 414 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,985 That's a pretty small target to hit. 415 00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,321 Anyway, here's what we came up with. 416 00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:45,328 Oh, hello, welcome to pied Piper. 417 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:46,955 How can I help you? 418 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,245 (Pied Piper playing on TV) 419 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,669 What in the name of fuck is that? 420 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:56,381 Well, his name is 421 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:59,134 pipey, the pied Piper Piper. 422 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,929 He's fun. And, you know, the demo's interactive. 423 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,180 Just... 424 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,307 Looks like you want to compress a movie file! 425 00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:09,644 Can I help? You know, with pied Piper's revolutionary 426 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:13,273 neural network, optimized, sharded data distribution system, 427 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:17,694 it's just six clicks away! Follow me! 428 00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:21,448 - I like it. - That's a fuckin' lie. 429 00:21:21,531 --> 00:21:22,574 Yeah. 430 00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:26,411 80, Richard, you want us to take the most sophisticated 431 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:29,330 and technically complex compression-based platform 432 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:33,084 - ever created and add that? - Pipey: Still here! 433 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,211 (Pied Piper playing) 434 00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:40,550 Well, after the booths at ces and south by southwest, 435 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,678 - all of our outreach, the dodge challenger... - Pipey: Still here! 436 00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:47,474 Plus, all the cost of working up, you know, this, 437 00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:51,227 - we are pretty much all out of money. - Follow me! 438 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:55,273 Okay. 439 00:21:56,065 --> 00:21:58,776 Pipey: Uh-oh. Somebody seems confused! 440 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:00,904 Let me walk you through pied Piper's proprietary 441 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,573 peer-to-peer content distribution system. 442 00:22:03,907 --> 00:22:05,158 (Pipey continues indistinctly) 443 00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:10,913 (Knocking on door) 444 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:13,166 Jared: Richard? Are you indisposed? 445 00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,792 Richard, can I come in? 446 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:16,836 (Door closes) 447 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,924 Richard, I'm sorry the guys didn't like pipey. 448 00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:23,051 It's over, Jared. 449 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:27,931 Well, you know, a lot of animated characters have rough starts. 450 00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:30,808 Early bugs bunny cartoons were just garish displays 451 00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:32,685 of anti-Japanese hysteria, 452 00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:34,687 and now he's the face of Warner Bros. 453 00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:38,107 I'm not talking about pipey, Jared. I'm talking about pied Piper. 454 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:42,904 We're dead. We fought Gavin belson, Russ, hooli, 455 00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:45,365 the lawsuit, that fucking box, 456 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,951 all so we could build our platform the way we wanted to. 457 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:53,623 And we did, but I guess you just can't fight public opinion, 458 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:57,001 except for one woman named bernice. 459 00:22:57,961 --> 00:23:01,005 Face it, Jared, being too early is the same as being wrong. 460 00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:03,174 Hey. 461 00:23:06,511 --> 00:23:09,222 - We'll figure it out. - I don't know if we will. 462 00:23:10,765 --> 00:23:13,726 Besides, I think I'm getting tired of being kicked in the balls. 463 00:23:13,810 --> 00:23:16,104 Come on, we have a few weeks of runway left. 464 00:23:16,187 --> 00:23:18,022 Uh, I don't want to say exactly how much. 465 00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:20,108 Again, I'm not comfortable estimating, but... 466 00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:24,195 Take what's left of it and divide it up amongst the guys. 467 00:23:24,279 --> 00:23:27,073 I mean, it won't be anywhere close to what you're owed in back pay, 468 00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:28,575 but at least it's something. 469 00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:31,911 Don't give up. Richard, come on, not yet. 470 00:23:31,995 --> 00:23:33,973 We've got to hang on, we've got to see what happens. 471 00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:35,832 Something could turn around. I know it will. 472 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,460 - You really believe that? - Absolutely. 473 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:40,628 (Sighs) 474 00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:43,506 Gilfoyle's right, you're a terrible liar. 475 00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:49,012 Um, just set an all-hands for tomorrow at 9:00 am. 476 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,097 And I'll tell the gang. 477 00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:54,392 It's over, Jared. 478 00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:02,191 And lastly, our deal to furnish endframe boxes 479 00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:05,111 to maleant data system solutions has officially closed, 480 00:24:05,194 --> 00:24:09,032 putting us far ahead of even the most optimistic profit targets 481 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,575 issued by this very board. 482 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:14,579 Gavin, it appears we owe you an apology. 483 00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:17,540 We'd like to restore your full status as ceo and chair 484 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:21,711 with a significantly revised bonus and stock options package. 485 00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:23,755 Thank you. 486 00:24:23,838 --> 00:24:26,132 Of course, apology accepted. 487 00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:29,135 I would like nothing more than to move forward 488 00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:31,471 in a harmonious and productive manner. 489 00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:33,431 Actually, with that in mind, 490 00:24:33,514 --> 00:24:35,892 there's something I'd like to show you. 491 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,978 It's outside. Is that all right? 492 00:24:39,062 --> 00:24:40,982 - A little field trip, if you will? - (Murmuring) 493 00:24:43,066 --> 00:24:44,400 Just down here. 494 00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:46,569 A little farther. 495 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:48,988 We're almost there. 496 00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:51,407 Just out here, everyone. Almost there. 497 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:00,500 Consider the elephant. 498 00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:07,006 Legend has it its memory is so robust it never forgets. 499 00:25:07,090 --> 00:25:09,092 And I assure you, gentlemen of the hooli board, 500 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:12,679 andlady, neflherdol. 501 00:25:18,142 --> 00:25:19,143 (Sighs) 502 00:25:24,607 --> 00:25:25,608 (Clears throat) 503 00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:27,610 Okay, guys, uh, 504 00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:32,365 we need to have a serious discussion about the future of the company. 505 00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:34,951 (All laughing) 506 00:25:35,451 --> 00:25:37,203 What? Why is everyone smiling? 507 00:25:37,286 --> 00:25:38,996 Richard, something happened last night. 508 00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:43,000 The daily active users are up, way up. 509 00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:46,546 - Look at it. Look. - Really? 510 00:25:46,629 --> 00:25:47,630 Holy shit! 511 00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:50,925 Did we just get 7,000 users in a day? 512 00:25:51,008 --> 00:25:52,427 We sure did! We're back! 513 00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,637 I don't know if it was the outreach 514 00:25:54,721 --> 00:25:57,807 or the tutorials, but we seem to be getting traction. 515 00:25:57,890 --> 00:26:00,268 Richard, you pulled us out of a nosedive. 516 00:26:00,351 --> 00:26:05,273 Of course, inevitably, we will run out of fuel and plummet towards the earth, 517 00:26:05,356 --> 00:26:08,943 leaving only a crater behind of torn flesh and excrement, 518 00:26:09,026 --> 00:26:11,529 but in the meantime, we are flying high! 519 00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:13,865 Yeah. I guess we are. (Chuckles) 520 00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:15,908 You know, it's crazy, just last night I was 521 00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:18,703 telling Jared that I thought we should shut down the company. 522 00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:21,497 - Well, perfect timing then, huh? - (Cell phone ringing) 523 00:26:26,377 --> 00:26:27,879 Excuse me. I should get this. 524 00:26:29,672 --> 00:26:30,673 Hey, Jared. 525 00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:36,220 - Are those numbers legit? - Of course. 526 00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:40,683 - All right, then. - This is Jared. 527 00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:42,727 Man: So, are we happy? 528 00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:44,896 Yeah. Worked out great. 529 00:26:44,979 --> 00:26:48,941 So let's keep the 7,000 users that I bought 530 00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:51,944 and add another thousand a day for the next week. 531 00:26:52,028 --> 00:26:53,488 You got it, buddy. 532 00:27:00,703 --> 00:27:02,038 (Baby crying) 533 00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:13,841 (Cycle bell ringing) 534 00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:16,385 (Indistinct chatter) 535 00:27:44,038 --> 00:27:45,248 (Keyboards clacking) 536 00:28:28,207 --> 00:28:29,584 (Clacking continues) 537 00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:35,965 (Man coughs)