1 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:19,228 This is where it all began, gentlemen, the birthplace of hooli. 2 00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:21,814 Peter Gregory's mother's garage. 3 00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:27,320 That was Peter's workstation. This was mine. 4 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:33,284 Things sure have changed, but in a way, they've stayed exactly the same. 5 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:36,162 As we forge our new path together, 6 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,873 we must remain focused on what's really important. 7 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:44,712 Not material success or wealth, but this, the spirit of innovation. 8 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,089 A few coders, some ramen, 9 00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:48,591 and a dream. 10 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:51,052 And that is why I brought you here. 11 00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:53,055 All right. Let me show you the rest of the place. 12 00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,185 Richard: Oh. 13 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,330 Gilfoyle: Oh, you've got a garage inside your garage. 14 00:01:01,354 --> 00:01:02,563 Impressive. 15 00:01:14,951 --> 00:01:17,495 I'll move you in as soon as construction is complete. 16 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,996 It's gonna be exquisite. 17 00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:21,082 Frank gehry has really outdone himself. 18 00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:25,086 Yeah, frank is the fucking best. He does all my buildings. 19 00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:28,798 Okay, guys? We're all setup. Shall we? 20 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,633 Yes. Let's do it. Of course. 21 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:35,596 Richard: All right, so in building this peer-to-peer Internet, 22 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,517 the paradox that we're up against is that people won't want to participate 23 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,269 until the quality is high, 24 00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:45,940 and the quality won't be high until, um... 25 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:51,737 And the quality won't be high until we have a lot of people opt into the network. 26 00:01:51,821 --> 00:01:55,700 So, that presents a little bit of A unique... 27 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,368 Continue. 28 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,495 I was... okay. 29 00:02:00,246 --> 00:02:04,125 It presents a bit of a problem what would... that we kind of need to build... 30 00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,213 Richard, everything okay? 31 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:10,631 I don't know. Is it? 32 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:14,802 Oh, sorry. Guys, Bryce. Bryce, guys. 33 00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:16,429 Actually, we've met. 34 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,557 - Oh, hey, Donald. - It's Jared now. 35 00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:23,769 80, Gavin, Bryce is... 36 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:24,854 Very discreet. 37 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,230 Keep going. This is great. 38 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,691 - Uh, is Bryce your assistant? - No, of course not. 39 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,568 He's my transfusion associate. 40 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,111 Which is? 41 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:34,405 Are you really not familiar with parabiosis? 42 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,032 I can't say that I am. 43 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,327 Well, the science is actually pretty fascinating. 44 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:42,288 Regular transfusions of the blood of a younger, physically fit donor 45 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,582 can significantly retard the aging process, 46 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:48,669 and Bryce is a picture of health. Just look at him. 47 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:51,255 He looks like a Nazi propaganda poster. 48 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,140 Erlich: This is quite the baby shower. 49 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,476 I bet you think you're some big, swinging dick 50 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:06,812 now that you're getting invited to all these fancy vc soirees. 51 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:09,982 Yes, my dick is very enormous, 52 00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:12,276 and my app made raviga a lot of money, 53 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,487 and I still pay no rent. 54 00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:16,989 Nobody likes a braggart, jian-Yang. 55 00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,491 Hey, guys. 56 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,743 Hello. Congratulations. You're pregnant. 57 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,204 No, no, no. No, she... No, she... no, no. Mmm-mmm. 58 00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:30,211 Fyi, Monica, my invite must have gotten lost in the e-mail, 59 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:34,215 but young jinathin was kind enough to have me as his plus one. 60 00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:37,802 Don't look at me. This is all ed chen's doing. 61 00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:41,472 Erlich: Is that aarush agrawal? Monica: Mmm-hmm. 62 00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:43,182 I thought he retired. 63 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,975 He's still on the board. 64 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:49,480 What would a co-founder of raviga be doing at a baby shower? 65 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,065 How often is he even in the building? 66 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,316 Like once a year. 67 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,152 Ed chen threw this whole thing just to suck up to Laurie. 68 00:03:56,987 --> 00:04:00,741 Monica, this is not a baby shower. This is a coup. 69 00:04:00,825 --> 00:04:02,326 What are you talking about? 70 00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:06,497 Ed chen didn't throw this party to impress Laurie. 71 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,082 He threw it to oust her 72 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:12,002 and invite all these misogynistic a-holes who think that pregnancy is a weakness, 73 00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:15,256 convince them that she's shirking her responsibilities at raviga. 74 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,757 You said it yourself. 75 00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:20,845 There's more dick in here than a synthetic pussy convention. 76 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,723 I didn't say anything close to that. 77 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,229 Regardless, ed chen and aarush are bro'ing down. 78 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,774 I suggest you get in before you get cut out. 79 00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:34,984 You see this guy? 80 00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,503 Monica: Tequila shots at a baby shower. 81 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:38,112 You want me to join the frat house? 82 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:41,824 Unfortunately, in this climate, Monica, you either bro down or you go down. 83 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:45,828 Monica, Laurie is also pregnant. 84 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,789 Jian-Yang, are you drinking creamer? 85 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,624 It's a half-half. 86 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,963 Which brings us to our one final, crucial question. 87 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,674 What value can we offer now to the user 88 00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,052 to entice them to download the app and opt into our network? 89 00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:03,554 And the answer is, 90 00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:07,850 the brand-new pied Piper app. 91 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:11,729 The app will take all of the data on a person's phone and compress it, 92 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,647 freeing up 20% more storage. 93 00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:16,108 They can have half of that free memory 94 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:21,071 while we will take the other half, walled off on their phone, for our own future use. 95 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:22,406 It's a win-win. 96 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,950 Hmm. That's very well thought out. 97 00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:26,243 Well done, gentlemen. 98 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,205 So, when do we announce? 99 00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,706 Announce what? 100 00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:33,250 Richard, when I do something, it's news. 101 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,085 Don't you think you want to lean into that? 102 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:41,133 We'll announce, rack up huge user interest, and then do a massive public launch at scale. 103 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,384 Richard: Uh, no. 104 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,846 We planned this under the assumption that we'll be rolling out quietly 105 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,641 and not really talking about our ultimate intentions. 106 00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:52,353 Besides, rolling out at scale is a completely different model 107 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:55,147 with vastly different technical and business challenges, 108 00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:56,500 and we're not prepared for that. 109 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:59,944 And I think we'd all agree that a stealth roll-out would be best for this one. 110 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,988 Mmm... 111 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,575 Bryce, did you have a thought? 112 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:10,246 Uh... well, you know, it just seems like a missed opportunity. 113 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:13,165 I mean, shouldn't you figure out how a big launch would work 114 00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:14,959 before you just say no to it? 115 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,293 Hmm. 116 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,087 Or not. 117 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,547 You know, it's not my company. 118 00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:20,798 That is so true. 119 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,841 You know, Richard, Bryce makes a good point. 120 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:24,110 Why don't you guys just whip up 121 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,219 an alternate launch plan 122 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,363 with a big public roll-out, 123 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,138 and then we can compare apples to apples? 124 00:06:28,264 --> 00:06:32,268 Gavin, all due respect, this plan took two weeks to develop. 125 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:36,146 Hard work is the price of greatness, so let's get to work. 126 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:40,526 Whoo! 127 00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:44,947 Well, this meeting was just absolutely fucking great! 128 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,866 Richard, Donald, gold foil. 129 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,037 Whoo! 130 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,747 Go team! 131 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,332 Whoo! 132 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:58,419 Uh... the fuck just happened? 133 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:00,796 - Hey, uh, Bryce? - Yeah? 134 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:06,176 Next time you're at a meeting of our company of which you are not a part of in any respect, 135 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,096 can you please keep your little ideas to yourself? 136 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,765 I'm sorry. I'm just trying to be helpful. 137 00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:13,118 Richard: Well, you weren't. At all. 138 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:14,393 I mean, we had him on our side 139 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:18,939 because I had basicallyjust convinced Gavin that a stealth roll-out was the best idea. 140 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,983 Uh... yeah, well, I... 141 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:24,028 It's just a stealth roll-out didn't sound like the way to go to me. 142 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,446 What are you talking about? 143 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:29,617 Bryce: I mean, Gavin has obviously had a lot more success than you, Richard, 144 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:32,786 and I just think having an asset like Gavin belson on your side... 145 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,955 - What'd you say? You dick! - Whoa! 146 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,457 You dick! You dick! 147 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,791 - Okay. - All right. 148 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,168 - Fuck you! - Okay. That's... 149 00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:41,211 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - It's okay. It's okay. 150 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:45,716 This is already the best job I ever had. 151 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,139 Jared: I don't know what to say. 152 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,850 I am so, so sorry. 153 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:57,394 I just couldn't let Bryce talk to you like that. 154 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,271 - Did I frighten you? - Richard: No. 155 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,773 Fuck him, right? 156 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,149 And fuck Gavin. 157 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,318 I mean, what, we take his orders now? He's our boss? 158 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,546 We're supposed to be partners, you know, like equals, right? 159 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:09,823 And what, he's taking the advice of that stupid little pretty boy over me? 160 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:13,369 Wait, he has a garage in his garage? 161 00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:17,289 And he has a yacht with a pool on it, and a pool with a yacht in it. 162 00:08:17,373 --> 00:08:19,500 And he has a real live blood boy. 163 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:22,252 What? He has an actual blood boy? 164 00:08:22,378 --> 00:08:24,129 - That's real? - Yeah, he's real. 165 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,255 Real mouthy. 166 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:27,633 And he's sticking his perfectly symmetrical face 167 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,551 into actual smart people's business. 168 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:32,355 I mean, that Ken doll probably thinks traversing a binary search tree 169 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,640 runs in the order of n instead of iogin. 170 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:35,724 Idiot. 171 00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:37,226 Jared called him a dick. 172 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,561 Seriously? To his face? No. 173 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:41,814 - Yeah. - Dinesh: That sounds awesome. 174 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,817 But it's probably nothing compared to the thousands upon thousands 175 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,360 of gnarled male genitals 176 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,612 that you get to see every day at your job. 177 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,280 Fuck. 178 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:52,825 - Hey! - Hi! 179 00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:55,452 - I brought you some dinner, neshi. - Thank you. 180 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:56,578 Neshi? 181 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,372 Shut the fuck up, gilfoyle. 182 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:02,209 You just missed these idiots telling me how hard they're selling out 183 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:06,797 by working for fucking Gavin belson in his disgusting lap of luxury. 184 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,425 Seriously, how can you work for that asshole? 185 00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,885 My man, the Gavin killer, 186 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,221 would never compromise his principles for money. 187 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,389 Oh, no? 188 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,182 No, he would not, 189 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,309 and he is busy doing the rewarding work 190 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:23,313 of keeping the Internet free of graphic sexual imagery. 191 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,024 Hey, can we eat later? 192 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:27,735 Of course. 193 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,754 I'm gonna go put this in the fridge. 194 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,030 Okay, yeah, thank you. 195 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:37,035 Hey, you actually still haven't told her that your takedown of Gavin belson 196 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,204 - was an accident? - Shh! It hasn't come up. 197 00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:41,373 We were just talking about him with her, 198 00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:42,642 so it did come up. 199 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,752 - Gavin, hello. What's going on? - Hey, could you... 200 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:47,546 Gavin: Richard, did you and a member of your team verbally assault 201 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,590 my transfusion associate? 202 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,968 Do you have any idea what that kind of stress could do to his cortisol levels 203 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,887 and therefore my cortisol levels? 204 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,013 Yeah. 205 00:09:56,096 --> 00:10:00,392 Well, he's not technically in the company and he kind of just butted in, so... 206 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:03,854 Is your ego so fragile that if someone disagrees with you, 207 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,439 you have to demean them? 208 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:09,276 I want you to go and apologize to Bryce immediately. 209 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,694 Why should I apologize? 210 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:14,281 Why should I be in business with someone who treats support staff with such contempt? 211 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:17,964 You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they treat the little people, Richard. 212 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,787 I bet you're mean to waiters, too. 213 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,623 What? No. I'm awesome to waiters. 214 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,501 Well, then I suggest you be awesome to Bryce, too. 215 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,795 His blood is flowing through my veins, Richard. 216 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,463 Make this right. 217 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,175 Fucking blood boy. 218 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,306 What do you want, Richard? 219 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:44,353 Bryce, I wanted to swing by and apologize for yelling at you 220 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:47,064 when you offered your very unsolicited opinion. 221 00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:49,399 Also, on behalf of Jared, 222 00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:53,153 we mean no disrespect to you or your career choice. Okay? 223 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,738 My career choice? 224 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:57,032 You think that I moved out here to be a blood boy? 225 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,992 Did you know I have a degree in cs? 226 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,160 - You do? - Yeah. 227 00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,764 But you probably thought that I was just, you know, some dumbjock. 228 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:03,831 Well that's typical, 229 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,833 because people who look like me, 230 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,418 we never get taken seriously in the tech business 231 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:09,920 by people who look like you. 232 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,088 You're biased. 233 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,257 Well, hang on. I am not biased, okay? 234 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,176 Come on. Hey, the whole business is biased. 235 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:18,196 I mean, that's the only way that a good-looking guy like me 236 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,847 can get in a room with Gavin belson 237 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,182 is by being a blood boy, and that sucks. 238 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:24,309 I gotta work out constantly. 239 00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:26,538 I can't have a beer with my friends, I can't eatjunk food. 240 00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:28,282 Do you know that Gavin made me go full vege? 241 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,566 I mean, fuck soy, man! 242 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,443 But to people like you, I'm just a beautiful bag of blood. 243 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,653 But you know what? 244 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:38,615 I got some pretty good fucking ideas, and Gavin actually listens to those ideas. 245 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:41,827 It took a while, but he respects me and you know what, Richard Hendricks? 246 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,913 You clearly fucking don't. So, good night. 247 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,588 Hey, look, it's osama bin fuckin'. 248 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,548 I thought you were staying at Mia's tonight? 249 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,718 I was going to, but alas, I had some intestinal distress, 250 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,052 so I couldn't stay, 251 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,888 which really sucks because she's so great, 252 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:04,558 which really is horrible because it's so hard to be away from her because she's so great. 253 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,226 Can I... 254 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,979 I have no diarrhea. I lied. 255 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:13,650 I am so fucked. This girl is gonna kill me or get me killed. 256 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:15,319 Do tell. 257 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,613 So, she's super attractive, and she's super smart, 258 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:18,864 and she's way into me, 259 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,283 like way more than a normal person should be, and sex... 260 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:25,412 There's so much sex. The problem is the part after. 261 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,414 - When you have to apologize? - No. 262 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,166 When we do pillow-talk. 263 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:32,794 Well, that's the best part. Everything before that's just foreplay. 264 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,921 Not with her. 265 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,423 She'll tell me how cute I am and how into me she is, 266 00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,634 and how she hacked into bowman Avenue dam. 267 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,653 That was the Iranian revolutionary guard that was... 268 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,679 No! It was her. She pinned it on them. 269 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:46,266 She flooded an area being surveyed for hotel construction. 270 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:49,686 Just to confirm, honesty is off the table, right? 271 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:53,899 Because it seems like the longer you wait, the worse it's gonna get. 272 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,151 I'm with Jared. You should wait. 273 00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,905 I have to end it. Right now. 274 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,198 First thing Monday. 275 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,118 Well, Saturday is her sister's wedding and then Sunday... 276 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,322 You know, sundays are just for me. You guys know that. 277 00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:10,582 Wait, her sister's wedding? That's what you should be afraid of. 278 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,419 Gilfoyle: That's the threshold that you don't want to cross. 279 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:19,841 I mean, weddings are very public events with photographers taking pictures of you, 280 00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,445 indelibly tied to her. 281 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,345 I mean, those are forever photos. 282 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,596 Forever. 283 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,682 Fuck. 284 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,100 Hey, guys. Um... 285 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:32,104 I'm trying to find erlich. Is he "holding?" 286 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,525 I'm afraid you caught me at an inopportune time. 287 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:41,822 I'm long overdue to a trip to my dispensary, so I don't have much, 288 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:46,076 but I have bubba kush, chocolate thunder, Barbara bush, 289 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,996 Barbara Streisand, Barbara bush junior... 290 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,497 Yeah, this is plenty. 291 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,250 No, no, that's actually for my astigmatism. 292 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,835 - Okay. - Tut-tut-tut-tut. 293 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:58,672 This is in case of emergency only. I'll need it if an earthquake occurs. 294 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:03,093 Okay, just give me whatever. I don't care. It's not for me. It's for ed chen. 295 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,013 What are you up to, clever girl? 296 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,015 Well, I took your advice. 297 00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:12,978 It wasn't pretty, but I bro'd down with him pretty hard. 298 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:16,148 I mean, I think I did. To be honest, I was kind of all over the map. 299 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,400 I shot-gunned a warm beer 300 00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,360 and then I acted all blown away 301 00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,071 when he showed me 40 minutes of snowboarding videos 302 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,449 set to diplo remixes. 303 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:26,908 Good on you. 304 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,953 But it worked. I'm in. 305 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:33,623 Ed copped to everything and said that as long as I don't say anything to Laurie, 306 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,000 I have a seat at the table. 307 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:36,293 Huh. 308 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,173 Wait, did he say that? Those were his exact words? 309 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:43,508 You'll have a seat if you don't tell Laurie? 310 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,802 Yeah. So? 311 00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:50,599 - Oh, dear, that does not bode well for you. - What do you mean? 312 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:54,019 Well, if ed chen is afraid of you saying anything to Laurie, 313 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,104 then that means that the deal isn't solidified yet. 314 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:58,398 He doesn't have the votes. 315 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,275 Unfortunately for you, that would mean 316 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:03,153 you may have put your money on the wrong horse. 317 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:07,032 So, you mean Laurie still has a chance to survive this coup? 318 00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:10,368 Well, then why did you say I should bro down with ed chen? 319 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,413 I say a lot of things, Monica. 320 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,918 I say a lot of things. 321 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:23,381 Dinesh: Um... 322 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,886 I know you'd think I'm sort of crusading badass 323 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:31,848 who built a ticking time bomb and slipped it to Gavin belson 324 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:35,352 to bring him down as retribution for his wrongdoings, 325 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,647 but the truth is, 326 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,149 because of my gross incompetence 327 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:45,904 during my brief and utterly disgraceful tenure as piperchat's ceo, 328 00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:52,244 I incurred billions of dollars in coppa fines by exploiting underage users, 329 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,955 and was saved only by my own cowardice, 330 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,625 which led to me throwing up on myself. 331 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:03,255 Anyway, I'll show myself out. 332 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,763 I'm so proud of you. 333 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,182 It took guts for you to tell me this. 334 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:16,101 Oh, no. No, no, no. It didn't, actually. 335 00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,520 Full disclosure. I knew all about this. 336 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,706 I hacked into your phone the first night we were together 337 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:21,874 when you were in the bathroom. 338 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:22,983 I was in there a while. 339 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,152 I was hoping that once I earned your trust, 340 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:28,488 you'd feel comfortable telling me, and you finally did. 341 00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:29,865 I did. 342 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,135 This may sound crazy, but if you hadn't by this weekend, 343 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:35,871 I was actually considering disinviting you from my sister's wedding. 344 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:37,122 No way. 345 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:42,294 But you trusted me with your big secret, so I'll trust you with another of mine. 346 00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,337 Oh, no, no. You don't have to do... 347 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:49,009 I hacked the elevators at the freedom tower. 348 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:56,433 Fucking kill me and send me to the horrors of heaven. 349 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,852 It would be better than this shit. 350 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,730 Guys, I know this has been a ton of work, 351 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,691 and we wouldn't have to do it if pretty boy kept his mouth shut, 352 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,361 and the stealth launch is still clearly the play, 353 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,114 but now we can show Gavin that we fleshed out both options 354 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:14,159 and we can still push the space-saving app 355 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:16,786 And not talk about our new Internet until we're ready. 356 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,372 - Ahoy, gents! - Geary street. 357 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,020 What, are you eating health food now? 358 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,835 Can you imagine? 359 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:34,596 Geary street organics is not a health food store? 360 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:38,266 Richard, you are a stitch. No, it's my dispensary. 361 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:41,478 I mean, they have some edibles there. They're not very healthy. 362 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,480 Fucking blood boy. 363 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,277 - Hey. - Hey. 364 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,446 Uh... yeah. I was walking around your hood, 365 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,699 and I thought I'd swing by and we could talk about tech, you know, 366 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,093 because we both know so much about it. 367 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,118 Cool. 368 00:17:57,202 --> 00:18:00,872 Oh, man, I don't know if you noticed, but your eyes are super red right now. 369 00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:02,457 Oh, yeah? 370 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,541 Yeah, I have allergies. 371 00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:04,668 Really? This time of year? 372 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,087 Huh. 373 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,547 Hey, what are you doing? 374 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,925 Oh, just hanging, man. Why, you paranoid? 375 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,468 Paranoid? No. 376 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,751 You know, Bryce, I gotta be honest. I'm a little hungry. 377 00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,180 You have anything to eat? 378 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:19,933 Just some creatine protein powder... 379 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,017 Soy extract. 380 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,621 Well, I'm kind of looking for something a little bit more sweet. 381 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,814 Oh, Bryce. 382 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,315 Yeah, that's not mine. 383 00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:30,110 That's for my guests. My fat guests. 384 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:32,279 You know, the fella who owns the house I live in, 385 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,155 he buys food like this 386 00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:36,574 because when he uses the products 387 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:39,953 he buys at the very same health food store you go to, 388 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,415 he gets cravings for food just like this. 389 00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:46,001 And this stuff is not good for your blood. 390 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:50,338 Geary street organics isn't a food store, is it? 391 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,215 It's a pot dispensary. 392 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:53,300 Isn't it? 393 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,136 I gotcha, Bryce, you fuckin' liar. 394 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,305 You said you had a degree in cs? 395 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,098 Well, bullshit. I checked. 396 00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:05,103 It's not "computer science" it's "callisthenic studies." 397 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,813 What? What? 398 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:10,775 You listen to me, you muscle-bound handsome Adonis. 399 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:14,321 Tech is reserved for people like me, okay? 400 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:18,366 The freaks, the weirdos, the misfits, the geeks, the dweebs, the dorks. 401 00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,868 Not you. 402 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:25,457 And your days of leeching off Gavin belson are over. 403 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,001 Game over, blood boy. 404 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,461 You fuckin' nerd. 405 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,090 Monica: Laurie? 406 00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:37,677 Look, I know you've been unhappy with me lately. 407 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:39,012 Correct. 408 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,264 Look, I'm asking you to trust me on something. 409 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:45,310 Ed chen has been making moves behind your back with the other partners 410 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,228 to try and force you out of raviga. 411 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,441 You are referring to the baby shower ruse. 412 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:53,985 You knew about that? 413 00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:55,570 Monica, this is my fourth child. 414 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:58,323 I am no stranger to these types of machinations. 415 00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:02,118 - However, I have countervailed it with my... - Your fourth child? 416 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:03,620 Yes. 417 00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:04,913 As I was saying, 418 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:08,500 I have spoken to our top lps and lined up enough of them 419 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,211 in order to leave raviga and start a new firm. 420 00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:15,090 It struck me as a opportune time to jump ship. 421 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,967 Holy shit, you're a fucking ninja. 422 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:25,558 Even though your disclosure just now had absolutely no actionable value, 423 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:30,313 it did reveal tremendous loyalty, so all is well now. 424 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,816 So, you're not mad at me anymore? 425 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,234 No, Monica. 426 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:40,824 I am a human being just like you, like ed chen, and this. 427 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:45,328 Furthermore, a question, Monica. 428 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:48,540 Would you care to jump ship with me? 429 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:52,293 You are, after all, my best friend. 430 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:54,170 What? 431 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:04,431 Fuck. 432 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:07,394 Mia: What the fuck are you doing? FBI agent: Hands behind your back, now! 433 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,686 Oh, um... I got it. 434 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,163 Mia: You can't do this! FBI agent: Calm down. 435 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,398 Woman: Let her go! Mia: I want my lawyer! 436 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,584 - And just take the cuffs off! - What is the meaning of this? 437 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,694 - Dinesh, they're arresting me! - What? 438 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,945 Step back, sir. 439 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:22,323 Good people of the FBI, I don't know what sorts of things you were told, 440 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:24,367 or who told them to you, we may never know, 441 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,369 but I can assure you that this young woman is... 442 00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:38,131 Gavin, I'm sorry to drop in on you, 443 00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:41,009 but I happened to have a very enlightening conversation 444 00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:42,760 with your "transfusion associate." 445 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:43,887 So did I. 446 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:45,722 Sorry? 447 00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:47,348 Come in, Richard. 448 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:50,768 Oh, wow. 449 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,313 It's all broken. Again. 450 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:54,731 Mind the glass. 451 00:21:57,192 --> 00:21:58,193 Okay. 452 00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,987 He's writing a tell-all? 453 00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:05,700 Apparently he landed a very lucrative deal to air my dirty laundry over the years. 454 00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:08,661 He said it was his only career move left. 455 00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:11,456 I told you, Richard. Everything I do is news. 456 00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,417 But didn't he sign an nda with you? I mean, can't you sue him? 457 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:17,301 That would only prove everything he's saying is true and make it worse. 458 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,965 Speaking of, I had my blood tested this morning. 459 00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:23,092 My cholesterol is through the roof. 460 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:26,513 At this rate, I'll be dead by the age of 120. 461 00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:29,182 Oh, no. That... I'm so sorry. 462 00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:33,019 Richard, I'm sorry. 463 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:37,440 I told you that a big public roll-out of our product would be good for the company. 464 00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:40,068 The truth is, I thought it would be good for me. 465 00:22:40,151 --> 00:22:43,196 To change the narrative that I'm a fraud and a failure. 466 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,697 Come on. Bryce is the fraud. 467 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:47,700 And yet I sat here taking business advice from him. 468 00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:49,327 A fucking blood boy. 469 00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,287 Just look at me. 470 00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:52,997 I'm a fraud and everyone knows it. 471 00:22:53,081 --> 00:22:56,000 And when I fell, not one person stood up for me. 472 00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:57,669 What does that say? 473 00:22:57,752 --> 00:22:59,295 I just think it's all over for me now. 474 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,339 No, it's not over. 475 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:05,385 Look, I chose to partner with you. That says something. 476 00:23:05,468 --> 00:23:07,387 You didn't want me. You wanted the patent. 477 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:10,990 If I had just given it to you, you would have walked out that door and never looked back. 478 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,184 Fuck it. 479 00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:17,313 I'm done. 480 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:19,065 Done? 481 00:23:19,649 --> 00:23:22,235 No. No, Gavin, you're not done. 482 00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:26,573 I mean, what about our company? What about the new Internet? 483 00:23:26,656 --> 00:23:27,657 Gavin: I don't know. 484 00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:30,910 I don't know. 485 00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:34,163 Gavin. 486 00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:04,944 Gavin: Fuck you, god! 487 00:24:06,654 --> 00:24:09,616 What have I done to deserve this? 488 00:24:11,284 --> 00:24:13,745 Uh, yes. Cj cantwell, please? 489 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,135 Something you want to share with us, Richard? 490 00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:23,421 I take it you saw the interview? 491 00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:28,426 "Belson and Hendricks prepare to launch a pied Piper product soon." 492 00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:30,345 So much for a stealth roll-out. 493 00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:31,971 You went along with him, after all. 494 00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:35,516 Techcrunch, and recode, and the wall street journal picked it up, as well. 495 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,200 Gilfoyle: I hate to invoke the nazarene, 496 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:40,104 but Jesus Christ, what the fuck, Richard? 497 00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:45,902 Guys, in a world where there is no Gavin belson, yeah, 498 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:48,529 the stealth roll-out was the best play. 499 00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:51,157 But we need his patent, and his funding, 500 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,077 and also we need his brain. 501 00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:56,204 I know this is gonna be a shit ton of work, 502 00:24:57,497 --> 00:24:59,916 but Gavin is our partner, we need him engaged, 503 00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:01,167 I made the call. 504 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:03,836 Well, sometimes you have to make compromises. 505 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,547 I mean, I once slept with the head of an assisted living facility 506 00:25:06,631 --> 00:25:08,966 to get my friend Muriel bumped up the wait list. 507 00:25:09,634 --> 00:25:11,260 Am I proud of it? No. 508 00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:12,345 Do I regret it? 509 00:25:14,097 --> 00:25:15,556 I'm out! 510 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,558 Oh, my god. 511 00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,018 Out of what, exactly? 512 00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:20,436 My relationship! 513 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,188 The wedding got raided. 514 00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:25,274 The FBI got an anonymous tip about Mia's hacking exploits. 515 00:25:25,358 --> 00:25:26,359 Can you believe that? 516 00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:28,903 That's just my luck. I'm home free! 517 00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:31,364 You ratted your girlfriend out to the FBI 518 00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:34,283 because you're too big of a pussy to break up with her? 519 00:25:34,617 --> 00:25:36,536 I'll never tell, but, yes. Yes, I did. 520 00:25:36,619 --> 00:25:39,414 The FBI lady hit me in the face, so Mia's never gonna suspect me. 521 00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:42,709 Uh, Richard, now that Mia and I have parted ways, 522 00:25:42,792 --> 00:25:44,669 can I come work for you at Gavin's, please? 523 00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:45,752 Please. Please? 524 00:25:45,795 --> 00:25:47,547 Well, yes, dinesh. Of course. 525 00:25:48,089 --> 00:25:50,383 Uh, in fact, we just announced, so climb aboard. 526 00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:53,886 Awesome! I'm gonna go and call periscope and tell them I quit. 527 00:25:53,970 --> 00:25:56,472 Best day ever! No more dick pics! 528 00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:02,228 Hello, Gavin. 529 00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:04,981 Gavin: Richard, lread your little article. 530 00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:08,151 What you said means a great deal. 531 00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,713 I'm sure of the situation was reversed, you'd do the same for me. 532 00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:11,738 Absolutely not. 533 00:26:11,821 --> 00:26:13,781 I would have let you bleed to death in the street. 534 00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:15,074 Oh. 535 00:26:15,158 --> 00:26:16,909 Gavin: And that gives me pause. 536 00:26:18,035 --> 00:26:20,413 I have a lot of work to do, Richard. 537 00:26:20,496 --> 00:26:21,748 Richard: We all do, so... 538 00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:23,916 Get back on the saddle, you. 539 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,126 Gavin: No, Richard. 540 00:26:25,209 --> 00:26:28,254 I have a lot of work I need to do on myself. 541 00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:29,630 I'm going away. 542 00:26:29,714 --> 00:26:31,340 For, like, the weekend or... 543 00:26:31,424 --> 00:26:34,051 Gavin: No, Richard, many weekends. 544 00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:35,720 Weekdays, as well. 545 00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:37,555 Where? 546 00:26:37,638 --> 00:26:39,390 Uh, hang on. There's someone at the door. 547 00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:41,517 Gavin: Lknow. Lsent you something. 548 00:26:41,642 --> 00:26:44,020 Consider it a little parting gift. 549 00:26:44,145 --> 00:26:46,189 Good luck to you, Richard. 550 00:26:49,484 --> 00:26:50,818 It's from Gavin. 551 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:55,531 What is it? 552 00:26:55,865 --> 00:26:57,200 It's the patent. 553 00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:01,621 He just signed over full ownership to me. 554 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:06,083 On the phone, he said he was gonna go find himself. 555 00:27:06,167 --> 00:27:08,795 I think Gavin's gone. 556 00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:14,759 Well, what about his funding and his brain? 557 00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:17,303 I think he took both of those with him. 558 00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:19,847 We got one more thing. 559 00:27:32,401 --> 00:27:36,572 All right! What has two thumbs, zero dick pics and just quit periscope? 560 00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:40,493 What the fuck is that? 561 00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:43,079 The biggest dick pic of all.