1 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,928 (Laughing) 2 00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:12,597 That's a good one, Richard. 3 00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:14,932 No, but seriously, what brings you in today? 4 00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:16,392 No, I am serious. 5 00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,186 I would like an std check. 6 00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,396 What, did you graze your penis against a toilet seat? 7 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:24,275 - No. I had sex. - Sex with what? 8 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,819 - Female. - A female what? 9 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:28,487 A female human. 10 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:32,742 And I don't know this woman very well, and we didn't use a condom. 11 00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:34,469 Now listen, Richard, I wouldn't worry so much. 12 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,704 People don't really get stds anymore. 13 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:37,997 We'll get your test back soon, 14 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,250 and I would tell you not to have sex before then, but let's face it, 15 00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:43,014 lightning ain't gonna strike twice, is it? 16 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,212 - (Laughing) - It's possible. 17 00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,297 - Huh? - It's possible. 18 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:49,592 Hey, here's something strange. 19 00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,820 Would you mind hopping up on that scale for a sec? 20 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,679 Okay. Why, am I gaining weight? 21 00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:56,641 I have been working like crazy, eating like crap. 22 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,227 I haven't been exercising at all really, so... 23 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,478 Yeah. Look at that. 24 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,314 You are an inch shorter than you were this time last year. 25 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,358 You're shrinking, my friend. 26 00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:07,026 (Stammers) How's that possible? 27 00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:09,654 Well, you just told me. It's your unhealthy lifestyle, Richard. 28 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,739 It's a loss of mineral bone density. 29 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:12,990 So, what do I do? 30 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,909 I'm gonna put you on calcium supplements, 31 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,970 and I'm gonna have you come back in about three weeks. 32 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:17,995 I'll see you then. 33 00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:19,413 Or whatever's left of you. 34 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:20,831 (Laughing) 35 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,251 (Theme music playing) 36 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,096 Monica: So, erlich, good news. 37 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,306 Keenan feldspar signed his term sheet 38 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:40,226 and we are now officially negotiating the finer points of his deal. 39 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,477 Fantastic! 40 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,063 Well, now, the real work begins. 41 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,608 To that end, we would like to clarify our arrangement with you. 42 00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:51,946 We feel that a generous finder's fee will be more than satisfactory. 43 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,615 This meeting is over. 44 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,617 This is very generous, 45 00:01:56,701 --> 00:02:01,580 but I was under the impression that, um, I was going to be hired here. 46 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:04,583 And I've actually told quite a few people that I was hired, 47 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:08,129 so if I wasn't, then it would look like I was fired. 48 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,630 That is fine. 49 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:16,554 Laurie, I will not allow you to make the same mistake 50 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,307 that uber, palantir, zenefits, 51 00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:23,227 and in my earlier years, chipotle made by not hiring me. 52 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,440 All right. Don't hire me. 53 00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:31,152 But can you hack this finder's fee into 52 installments, 54 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,154 paid weekly over the course of the next year? 55 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,323 You mean, a salary? 56 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,741 Those are your words, not mine. 57 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:42,163 The finder's fee and 10,000 to go away? 58 00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:46,417 You know, looking around at bream-hall, I see a lot of the same. 59 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,085 Same gender... 60 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,838 Both partners happen to be female, erlich. 61 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,757 Great catch. What's your point? 62 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,635 There is a grotesque gender imbalance in the vc field right now. 63 00:02:56,719 --> 00:03:00,264 I can help you navigate the toxicity of this male culture, 64 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:02,933 which is encroaching on our feminist island. 65 00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:06,020 I mean, for instance, there's something called mansplaining. 66 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,415 - Have you heard about this? - We know what mansplaining is. 67 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:12,693 Mansplaining is when a man will condescendingly explain something 68 00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:15,071 to a woman that she already knows. 69 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,491 Mr. Bachman, we have work to do. 70 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:19,574 All right. 71 00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:23,287 Laurie, half the finder's fee for me to stay. 72 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,289 I don't think that you'll find an associate, 73 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:29,251 um, with my track record at a better price. 74 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,879 It's my final offer. Take it or leave it. 75 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:35,216 I need this. 76 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,053 Fine. You may start Monday. 77 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,388 Okay. Ooh. 78 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:41,639 This Monday? 79 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:45,142 That's fine. Of course. 80 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,105 (Keyboard clacking) 81 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,441 What's that? 82 00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:55,486 Sonicwall sonicpoint a.C.E., 83 00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:58,364 paired with the t2. 600. 84 00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,241 Top-of-the-line firewall protection, 85 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:04,412 built-in intrusion prevention, ssl decryption and inspection, 86 00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:07,415 application control, and content filtering. 87 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,959 Saying "new router" would be so much quicker. 88 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,710 Dinesh, the one good thing that came 89 00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:14,505 out of you slapping your body against that cyberterrorist 90 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,340 in a vulgar parody of the act of love 91 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:19,802 is that we finally have a network with real security value. 92 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,137 Why would we need it? 93 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:24,932 Mia is in a federal facility with no access to the Internet. 94 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,016 Right. 95 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:29,937 And she has never shown a proclivity for getting around infrastructure. 96 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,064 Did you see this? We've only been live for two weeks 97 00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:34,608 and we just cracked the top 500 in the hooli app store. 98 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,029 Oh, look at that. 99 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,448 Ranked 499. 100 00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:41,699 Of utilities. 101 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,618 Yeah. Subgroup mobile, subgroup storage. True. 102 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:48,622 But, overall, we're firmly in the top 30,000 hooliphone apps. 103 00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:54,462 I mean, we may not be a global epidemic yet, but we've leapt from bat saliva to humans, 104 00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:57,047 and we've just killed our first few villagers. 105 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,134 Jian-Yang: This warm. 106 00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:01,719 This warm. 107 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,596 This warm. 108 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,139 - This warm. - I get it, jian-Yang! 109 00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:06,849 The refrigerator's broken. 110 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:09,143 The ice cream is melting. 111 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,312 Let me guess, is it because it's warm? 112 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,521 - Yes. - Fine. 113 00:05:12,605 --> 00:05:15,941 I'll call the repairman, and he'll come here and fix it posthaste. 114 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,278 I want a new fridge. 115 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,406 A smarter fridge like this. 116 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:26,243 $14,000 for a smart fridge? 117 00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:28,537 Unlike you, I now work for a living. 118 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,915 I'm not gonna drop that kind of dough on a fridge. 119 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,417 I ordered already. I buy it for myself. 120 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:34,895 Then why are you talking to me about it? 121 00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:36,837 To make you feel bad. 122 00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:39,548 Because you're fat and poor. 123 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:44,595 - (Phone ringing) - (Sighs) 124 00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:49,350 Go for erlich. 125 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,268 Ed: E. Bachman, e. Chen. 126 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:52,353 Got your message. 127 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,854 Bream-hall, huh? 128 00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,105 Yes. Starting today. 129 00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,149 I hope that this doesn't create 130 00:05:57,233 --> 00:06:00,861 any tension between us, us now being competitors and all. 131 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:01,987 Ed: Hey. None-zo. 132 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:06,158 Hey, while I have you, some of the boys are part of the ownership group of the warriors. 133 00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:10,120 We have an extra spot on the floor at oracle arena. You a hoops guy? 134 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:13,916 Oops. Uh, sorry, you broke up. Could you, uh... could you say that again? 135 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,378 We have an extra spot on the floor tonight at oracle arena. 136 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:18,754 You a hoops guy? 137 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:22,550 What red-blooded American male in the vc boys' club isn't? 138 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,010 Okay, cool. I'll text you the deets. 139 00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:26,220 Later, man. 140 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:30,057 Vveh, boys. I've been in the vc game for just one day, 141 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:33,143 and already I have floor seats to watch the warriors. 142 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,728 But you hate basketball. 143 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:37,690 I'll concede that spending all my time inside of a house 144 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:41,193 with you scrawny code jockeys, the incredible shrinking Hendricks, 145 00:06:41,277 --> 00:06:43,904 - and whatever the fuck Jared is here... - (Jared chuckles) 146 00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:47,283 May have blunted my conventional masculinity a hair. 147 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,159 - But it's always been there. - Uh-huh. 148 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,120 Well, try and get a selfie with Steph curry. 149 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,747 I will, assuming she's there. 150 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,584 Hey, Jared, um, look at this e-mail here. 151 00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:01,380 Uh, "dear Richard, I recently became aware of your space saver app. 152 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,258 "I think your app may infringe upon my own patented technology. 153 00:07:04,717 --> 00:07:08,637 "If your schedule permits, I would love to discuss this with you as soon as possible. 154 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:11,015 "Sincerely, Stewart Burke." 155 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,493 What, I thought we handled the patent stuff. We own it, right? 156 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:17,021 Yeah. I'll send him a harshly worded cease and desist letter. 157 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:22,860 Actually, uh, his work address is some house in mountain view. 158 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,613 He's probably just working out of his garage, just like us. 159 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:28,115 Why don't I go over there, walk him through the app, 160 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,491 you know, coder to coder. 161 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,701 I'm sure it'll be fine. 162 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,453 You've got a big heart. 163 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:36,081 Or maybe just seems big, 'cause the rest of him is shrinking. 164 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,544 (Knocking on door) 165 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,299 Hi. Richard Hendricks. 166 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,426 - We exchanged e-mails? - No. 167 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,928 - Are you Stewart Burke? - No. 168 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:53,474 - I'm sorry. Does Stewart Burke live here? - Yeah. (Sighs) 169 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:55,726 Okay. 170 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,227 Is he in? Can I speak with him? 171 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,313 Grandpa! Some guy's here. 172 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,523 My grandson is the software expert. 173 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:04,443 I couldn't tell a computer from a toaster. 174 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,820 Oh. So, you're not a coder? 175 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,864 Oh, no. Not at all. 176 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,574 I am an attorney. 177 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:14,536 I started out in the medical field, then the auto industry, 178 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,163 and then the music business. 179 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,123 Did you represent all these people? 180 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,792 No, I sued them. 181 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,670 Look, that's me with Stevie wonder. 182 00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:24,129 He never saw it coming. 183 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:25,589 Do you get it? 184 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:27,883 Yes, because he's blind. 185 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,385 - (Clicks tongue) - Right. 186 00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:33,180 I'm sorry, I don't know what this has to do... 187 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,348 You see this? 188 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,226 This is a song I bought at a copyright auction. 189 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:41,522 It's an old mariachi number that cost me practically nothing, 190 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:46,694 and so far has bought me two houses and put my village idiot grandson 191 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:49,154 - through six years of Emerson. - Oh. 192 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:52,908 All that from cancion de amores? 193 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,910 - Was it a popular song? - No. 194 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:59,540 I used the copyright on this song to sue writers of all kinds of songs. 195 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:05,129 Anyway, the writers usually settle, pay me off, or give me a chunk of their song. 196 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:08,215 Thanks to cancion de amores here, 197 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:12,469 I now own 10% of Katrina and the waves' walking on sunshine. 198 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,679 - Mmm. - It's a classic. 199 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:18,183 And when it runs next month on Mazda's new super bowl spot, 200 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,476 I print money. 201 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,522 But sadly, all the good music copyrights are gone. 202 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,232 That is so sad. 203 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,276 And that's why I moved into tech. 204 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,863 And now I sue people like you. 205 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,450 What? 206 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,744 So, he's a patent troll? 207 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:42,416 Guys like him buy a ton of super broad ip from failed startups at auction, 208 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:47,588 and then threaten litigation against accused infringers, I.E. You. 209 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,883 So, uh, how much is Burke asking for? 210 00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:52,593 $20,000. 211 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,386 Ah. You're getting off easy. 212 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:59,099 Well, no. Look, his patent covers "storage of media files on a network." 213 00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:01,310 I mean, that cannot be enforceable. 214 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,978 It's probably not. (Sighs) 215 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,689 But to find out, you're gonna have to fight him in court. 216 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:10,277 For a good litigator, we're talking at least (Blows raspberry) Couple hundred grand. 217 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,154 Just pay him the 20 grand, Richard. 218 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,865 I could get creative and take some money out of the melcher deal. 219 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:15,949 There you go. 220 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,177 Richard: No. We need that money. 221 00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:18,702 This is a shakedown. He's a crook. 222 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,513 And right when our app is getting off the ground. 223 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,747 Well, that's how he found you. 224 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,625 Guys just landed on the app store top 500 list, 225 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:25,751 - right? - Yeah. 226 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:30,130 So, Burke starts at the bottom of those lists, works his way up. 227 00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:32,800 The more settlements he gets, the stronger his case. 228 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,177 Higher you are on the list, the more money he asks for. 229 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,638 It's like... it's like limp biscuit. 230 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,097 He sued those guys, too? 231 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:42,518 Not the band, the thing the band is named after. 232 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,520 Limp biscuit's an old frat ritual 233 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,815 where all the brothers race to stroke one out onto a biscuit, 234 00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,567 and then the last guy to nut has to eat it. (Chuckles) 235 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,402 Right. Sometimes it's a wheat thin. 236 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,574 Look, Richie. I get it. 237 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:02,371 It's embarrassing to pull your pud in front of the whole pledge class. 238 00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:03,831 Just pay the guy. 239 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:12,589 Or maybe we convince the entire pledge class to not play the game at all in the first place. 240 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,259 (Chuckles) If only... 241 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,847 - (Clears throat) - (Fridge chimes) 242 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,474 This must be the new fridge. 243 00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:23,559 You like this? 244 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:26,854 Look, it has a screen so you can see all the food that's inside. 245 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:29,147 Mmm-hmm. Kind of like that one? 246 00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:33,026 This one has an app, so you can actually watch the food on your phone. 247 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:36,071 All it needs to do is keep my fuckin' beer cold. 248 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,197 (Fridge chimes) 249 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,842 Male voice: Hmm. You're running low on beer. 250 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:39,908 Fuck you. 251 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,368 (Fridge chimes) 252 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,429 Male voice: Whoops! Did you forget to scan that bar code? 253 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,038 Yes, I did. 254 00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,498 On purpose. 255 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,227 - (Fridge chimes) - Male voice: Ah, there we go. 256 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,520 Gilfoyle: It's bad enough it has to talk. 257 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:53,547 Does it need fake vocal tics like "ah"? 258 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,507 Well, it just makes it sound more human. 259 00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:56,675 Gilfoyle: Humans are shit. 260 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:59,052 This thing is addressing problems that don't exist. 261 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,554 It's solutionism at its worst. 262 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:04,600 We are dumbing down machines that are inherently superior. 263 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,727 Whatever. You gave your server a human name. 264 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,604 You named it Anton. 265 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,856 Yeah, but Anton doesn't call me anything. 266 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:15,068 He grimly does his work, then he sits motionless till it's time to work again. 267 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,862 We could all take a page from his book. 268 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,298 - (Fridge chimes) - Male voice: Uh-oh! 269 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,948 That yogurt is expired! 270 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:22,534 See? This could have killed me. 271 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:25,245 Now I can give it to erlich. 272 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:26,622 (Fridge closes) 273 00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:32,085 (Chimes) 274 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,649 Male voice: Hmm. I'm not quite sure what you're doing. 275 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,026 Is there something I can help you with? 276 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:40,052 Yeah, how do I shut you the fuck up? 277 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,988 Male voice: Aw. Is somebody having a rough day? 278 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,723 Did that fucker password protect the settings? 279 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,183 His fridge, his rules. 280 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:47,809 Fuck. 281 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,486 - (Basketball bouncing) - (Sneakers squeaking) 282 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,275 My man, I was told I had a spot on the floor tonight, 283 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:59,029 but it seems that I've committed the cardinal sin of being early. 284 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,989 What time does the game actually start? 285 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,741 Man: It's about to. 286 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:11,291 Wait, when he said a spot on the floor, did he mean on the floor? 287 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,710 I wasn't part of the conversation. 288 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,879 Ed: Come on, baby. Come on, bring it. 289 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:18,757 - (Men cheer) - I cannot do that. 290 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,467 All right. You guys go shirts. 291 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:21,593 We'll go skins. 292 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:25,681 And I can definitely not do that. 293 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,600 Will not. 294 00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,329 Ed: Don't let him drive on you. 295 00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,397 - All day! - (Cell phone rings) 296 00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:38,819 Yo, erlich. Where you at, dog? 297 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,296 Erlich: Yo, what up, what up, what up? 298 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,824 Which one of you pussies, uh, put sugar in my gas tank 299 00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,159 to prevent me from housing you on the hardwood? 300 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,243 What? 301 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:48,662 Yeah. My car won't start. 302 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,330 It's a real fucked situation. 303 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:53,709 So, I guess I'll have to miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to... 304 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,419 Dude, we play every Tuesday. 305 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,087 I'll see you next week, broseph. 306 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,547 (Buzzer echoes on phone) 307 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,633 (Thuds) 308 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,596 Hey. Let me in. Let me get in. Let me get in. 309 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,850 Hey, I squished those front-end bugs. 310 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:13,270 - Um, did you finish your networking issue? - Nope. 311 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,396 (Fridge chimes) 312 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,159 Male voice: Hmm. I'm sorry, wrong password. 313 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,692 You're sitting here trying to hack jian-Yang's password 314 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,318 instead of doing your actual work? 315 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,071 Well, good luck, it's a 10-digit alphanumeric. 316 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,032 Ten digit? Fuck. 317 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,950 And you have one underpowered laptop, 318 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,910 so you know, you should have the answer... 319 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,540 In 9,000 years. 320 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,625 Time to pull out the big gun. 321 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,795 Well, maybe you should pull out the bug gun. 322 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,339 'Cause of the network bug. 323 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,675 As in the bug you're supposed to be fixing. 324 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,405 If you were programmed to have a good sense of humor, you'd laugh at that. 325 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,032 - (Fridge chimes) - Male voice: Oh, I'm sorry. 326 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,224 I didn't see any good humor ice cream bars. 327 00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:52,893 Shall I add them to your shopping list? 328 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,020 - You know what? Yeah. - (Fridge chimes) 329 00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,248 Male voice: Good humor ice cream bars added to your shopping list. 330 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:58,398 Jared: Come on. 331 00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:01,735 - God, you believe this? I'm still on hold. - With? 332 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,070 Microsoft azure. 333 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:06,573 Yeah, I'm trying to negotiate a lower cloud storage rate, 334 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:09,493 'cause we're gonna need it if, or more realistically, 335 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,120 when, Richard finally decides to pay that patent troll. 336 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:14,331 Ugh. I mean, I'm still on hold. 337 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:17,292 It's like they don't even care about small businesses. 338 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,711 Jared, they don't care about small businesses. 339 00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:21,755 That's why small businesses have to lie. 340 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:25,133 Like, um, Google named theirfirst building "building 40" 341 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,302 so that people would think they were already huge. 342 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,887 When I worked at my first startup, 343 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,931 I would transfer people to "my supervisor" 344 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,892 and then I'd just get back on the phone myself. 345 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,144 Oh. Uh, yeah, hello. 346 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:39,231 No, no. I'm not gonna go on hold again. 347 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:42,901 Um, in fact, could I transfer you to my supervisor? 348 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,861 (Chuckles) Uh... 349 00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:47,006 (Whispers) Oh, no, no, no. I have to take a shit. 350 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,574 Just, um, do your best ed chen impression. 351 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,372 One moment please. 352 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,130 (Imitating) What's up? You've got ed, uh, chambers. 353 00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:08,009 Hello, everybody. Thanks again for making it. 354 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,262 And thanks to Gus of gigglybots for hosting. 355 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,345 No problem. 356 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,766 My name is, uh, Richard Hendricks, uh, of pied Piper. 357 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:16,518 You're the guys working for Gavin belson. 358 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:20,397 Was working with Gavin belson, yeah. 359 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,275 - So, he's not coming? - No. No, not at all. 360 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:27,904 But I'll have you all know that without any involvement from Gavin belson, 361 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:32,701 pied Piper, just like yourselves, has reached the hooli app store's top 500 list. 362 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:37,747 And you guys are aware that you are all directly above us on the list, 363 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:43,044 which is why you should know that a patent troll named Stewart Burke 364 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:47,174 has recently demanded that I pay a $20,000 licensing fee. 365 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:52,304 And if! Pay, he's gonna come and ask you guys for more money. 366 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:53,722 He starts with the little guy. 367 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,225 Not that I'm little. I'm, uh... 368 00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:58,829 - I mean, I'm not. - (Chair clattering) 369 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,271 I'm actually, uh... 370 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,274 Above average height. 371 00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:07,295 Isn't this something that could have been done over e-mail? 372 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:08,445 Richard: I mean, I guess. 373 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,822 (Sighs) But look, if we don't stop this guy, 374 00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:13,700 he's gonna just keep asking for more and more money 375 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,453 until someone is stuck with an unpayable bill. 376 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:20,040 It's kind of like that old fraternity game, the limp biscuit. 377 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,544 Sorry, I wasn't in a fraternity. 378 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:25,628 Uh, what is that? 379 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,547 I don't think we need to get into... 380 00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:31,468 It's where guys stand in a circle and masturbate onto a cracker. 381 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,888 And then the last guy eats it. 382 00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:36,765 What? 383 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,017 Again... 384 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,745 I don't really know why he would mention that. 385 00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,354 It's super gross. 386 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,481 Is this why Gavin belson stopped working with you? 387 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,565 Richard: No. 388 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,069 The important thing is here, 389 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:52,948 my lawyer has actually drafted a partnership agreement. 390 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,282 Why don't you all just... 391 00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:59,788 Essentially, we all band together and each contribute $20,000. 392 00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:04,125 We should have more than enough money to mount a challenge against this guy's patent. 393 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,253 And if we win, we dissolve the patent 394 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,672 so that he can't do this to anyone else ever again. 395 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:13,718 Because in the end, shouldn't it be Mr. Stewart Burke, the patent troll, 396 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:16,346 who's forced to eat the biscuit? 397 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,949 I'm pretty sure that's sexual assault. 398 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,933 Yeah, no one deserves that. 399 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,893 I know. That's not what I'm saying. 400 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,813 Look, I'm pretty sure it's even made up. 401 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,690 Like a donkey punch. You know? 402 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,401 Again, what is a donkey punch? 403 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,612 - It's when guys... - Just don't. 404 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:40,537 G-man. 405 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,289 You busy at the moment? 406 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:48,086 I'm about to set Anton loose on that talking chrome beer coozy. 407 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:54,801 So, care to take a breather and help a pal throw a basketball hoop on the old garage? 408 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:59,514 Why would you need help from a scrawny code jockey such as myself? 409 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,099 Fine. 410 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,977 I'm perfectly capable of figuring it out myself. 411 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,228 All I need is... ah! 412 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:11,401 May I borrow this hammer to pound in these flamboyant little nails? 413 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:13,987 Those are screws. 414 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,196 Yeah, no, I... 415 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,076 Jared Dunn. 416 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,704 Yep, just a moment, please. I'll transfer you. 417 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,582 (In low voice) Go for chambers. 418 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,668 (Laughing) 419 00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:30,628 Ned! I knew it was you. 420 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,506 Hey, did that pussy Jared keep you on hold long? 421 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:36,676 I eat that motherfucker's lunch every day. 422 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,095 (Laughs) No, man. I literally eat his food. 423 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,514 What do you want? Uh-uh. 424 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:42,640 Ain't gonna happen. 425 00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,142 That's as high as we go, homo. 426 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,435 Till next time, rook. 427 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:46,895 (Phone beeps) 428 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,522 (In normal voice) I mean, did you see that? 429 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,107 He's amazing. 430 00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,109 - Who? - Ed chambers. 431 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:56,571 He got pied Piper a great cloud storage rate from azure. 432 00:19:56,654 --> 00:20:00,200 And he's got the hookup on a couple of pallets of pamplemousse lacroix 433 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:03,370 at, his words, "an amaze-balls price." 434 00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,330 Wow. Good job, Jared. 435 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:08,333 Well, I mean, don't congratulate me. Congratulate ed chambers. 436 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,378 - Ed chambers is you. - Well, I wish. But... 437 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:12,670 Gentlemen. 438 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,339 You all said that it couldn't be done, 439 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:20,470 but it appears as if sir Richard the not-short hath now slain the slimy troll. 440 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,056 Stu Burke? R. Hendricks. 441 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,557 I got word that you called. 442 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:28,228 I assume you spoke with my attorney, monsieur Ron laflamme? 443 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,772 Stewart: Yes, I did speak to Ron laflamme. 444 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,274 What, pray tell, did he tell you when he called you? 445 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,902 Stewart: Well, I called him actually, to tell him 446 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:39,739 that the eight companies you apparently tried to organize against me 447 00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:42,742 have reached out to me preemptively to settle. 448 00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:48,248 And because I appreciated that, I offered them a very, very reasonable rate. 449 00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:51,084 80, Richard Hendricks, fuck... 450 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,002 Okay. Uh, yeah. 451 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:55,296 Uh-huh. 452 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,424 I understand. 453 00:20:58,675 --> 00:20:59,926 So, you're firm on that? 454 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:02,512 Well, bye, then. 455 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,308 - So, your coalition fucked us? - Yes. 456 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:09,561 So, now we have to pay the $20,000. 457 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,186 Uh, not exactly. 458 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:16,484 Because he... stu is saying that since all eight companies 459 00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:19,612 have now licensed the patent, he has a stronger case against us. 460 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:23,199 So, um, he'd actually like more money. 461 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:26,077 - How much? - $300,000. 462 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:30,582 - So, we just ate the wheat thin, didn't we? - (Fridge chimes) 463 00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:33,293 Male voice: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see any wheat thins. 464 00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:35,003 Shall I add them to your shopping list? 465 00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:37,338 - Eh, sure. - (Fridge chimes) 466 00:21:38,256 --> 00:21:40,856 Dinesh: Well, let's hope that melcher doesn't hear about all this. 467 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:47,307 You guys don't need all these lights on, do you? 468 00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:48,475 Yes, we do. 469 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:51,017 Okay. Well, that should be fine. We should be fine. 470 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:53,646 Um, fine from what? 471 00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:54,957 That fridge is putting up a fight, 472 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,584 so I'm gonna have to try something with Anton. 473 00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:59,736 Might put a little strain on the wiring, that's all. 474 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:01,738 I'll be in the garage. 475 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:02,864 Hey, Richard. 476 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:05,658 But you're not seriously gonna defend yourself in court, right? 477 00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:08,369 Well, Larry flynt did it. 478 00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:09,787 And sir Walter Raleigh. 479 00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:12,749 Although he lost and was publicly beheaded. 480 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:16,336 But you could argue that he eventually won in the court of history. 481 00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:17,587 I get it! 482 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,131 I should have settled. Okay? And I didn't. 483 00:22:21,174 --> 00:22:23,593 And you're right, I will probably lose. 484 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,887 But I'm not going down without a fight. 485 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:29,516 And I've got all of monahan's discovery from the hooli case right here, 486 00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:30,934 so that's something. 487 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,393 (Richard sighs) 488 00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:36,272 Oh, my god. 489 00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:37,482 (Richard chuckles) 490 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,108 This is from high school. 491 00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:46,282 These are all my notes from the original build of pied Piper 1.0, 492 00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:50,161 back when it was just some stupid search app for music copyright... 493 00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:53,248 It's... 494 00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:57,669 Hold on, hold on. 495 00:22:58,294 --> 00:22:59,796 (Circuit breakers click) 496 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,422 What the fuck? 497 00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:03,550 Sorry. Everybody okay? 498 00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:06,302 I don't know, you fucking maniac! Are we? 499 00:23:06,386 --> 00:23:07,637 Probably. 500 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,805 Jared: Richard? 501 00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:10,807 What are you up to? 502 00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:13,309 - (Keyboard clacking) - About 6'2", Jared. 503 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,483 Looks like I can slay that troll, after all. 504 00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:23,637 - (Mariachi music playing) - Stewart: What am I looking at? 505 00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:29,200 Well, you said that you used cancion de amores to sue musicians. 506 00:23:29,284 --> 00:23:31,369 You claimed that they stole that song, right? 507 00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:35,123 Bought two houses, put Jeremy through four years of college. 508 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:37,417 Six. And he's still 20 credits short. 509 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,961 Okay. Well, he may want to consider financial aid. 510 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:46,175 Um, because that little song there was itself stolen from an old country song 511 00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:50,847 called I'm cryin', parentheses, with my eyes from 1967. 512 00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:54,475 A full eight years before cancion de amores. 513 00:23:54,559 --> 00:23:57,604 And I'm pretty sure Katrina and the waves would want to know 514 00:23:57,687 --> 00:24:01,816 that they gave you a piece of walking on sunshine for nothing. 515 00:24:01,899 --> 00:24:05,153 Mazda may want to pull that whole super bowl spot. 516 00:24:05,236 --> 00:24:07,447 - Bullshit. - No, no. Not bullshit. 517 00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:08,656 Computer science. 518 00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:11,743 Yeah, and we can take it to court if you like, see who they believe. 519 00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:17,165 Perhaps the most advanced and sophisticated pattern matching algorithm ever devised, 520 00:24:17,248 --> 00:24:18,583 by a fucking genius. 521 00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:23,296 Or some old asshole who once sued Stevie wonder. 522 00:24:24,005 --> 00:24:25,298 All right. 523 00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:27,050 What do you want, you little prick? 524 00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:31,054 (Chuckles) Correction, sir. I am a big prick. 525 00:24:37,352 --> 00:24:39,228 Hello, my cold friend. 526 00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:40,480 (Chimes) 527 00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:42,065 Hello? 528 00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:44,901 Male voice: Huh. Suck it, jian-Yang. Mmm. 529 00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:46,194 Ah. Huh. Huh. 530 00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:48,488 You attack and destroy my refrigerator? 531 00:24:48,571 --> 00:24:50,823 - And you misspell my name. - Gilfoyle: I did. 532 00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:52,241 Had to overclock Anton, 533 00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:54,702 but I was able to brute-force the backdoor password 534 00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:56,245 to that chrome piece of shit 535 00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:57,914 in under 12 hours. 536 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,874 And I added a little visual flair. 537 00:25:00,124 --> 00:25:02,001 Male voice: Huh. Suck it, jian-Yang. 538 00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:03,753 Mmm. Ah. Huh. 539 00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:06,839 (Sighs) 540 00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:11,135 - So? - So, he bought it, 541 00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:12,387 hook, line, and sinker. 542 00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:14,472 Yeah, he thinks the search results are real. 543 00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:16,349 You trolled the troll. 544 00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:18,535 (Chuckles) Yeah, yeah. For a second there, he wasn't buying it, 545 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:21,354 and then I just started babbling on about tech specs, 546 00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:22,730 and saw his eyes glaze over. 547 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:28,820 Well, as a result, we now have a perpetual, royalty-free license for the patent. 548 00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,029 Yes! 549 00:25:30,113 --> 00:25:32,990 See? I stuck to my guns and as a result, 550 00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:35,868 we now have 20 grand we would have othennise lost 551 00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:39,288 if I'd have listened to you delicate little snowflakes and settled. 552 00:25:39,956 --> 00:25:41,290 Yeah? 20 grand. 553 00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:45,378 Yeah? So, let me cum into a bucket and have you all drink it. 554 00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:51,592 Uh, Richard? Can I have a moment? 555 00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:56,389 (Sighs) Sorry about that. I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth. 556 00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:57,724 Richard. 557 00:25:57,807 --> 00:25:59,475 Well, yes. But... 558 00:26:00,852 --> 00:26:01,853 Here. (Sighs) 559 00:26:01,936 --> 00:26:02,979 What's this? 560 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:06,816 Um, that is a bill from Ron laflamme 561 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:10,611 for the papennork he had to do to put your coalition of companies together. 562 00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:13,072 - $22,000. - Yeah. 563 00:26:13,156 --> 00:26:15,324 It's at the high-end of standard. 564 00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:18,411 So, it would have cost us slightly less if we'd have just... 565 00:26:18,494 --> 00:26:19,912 Paid the troll? 566 00:26:19,996 --> 00:26:23,416 Well, that's true, but can you put a price on dignity? 567 00:26:24,167 --> 00:26:25,460 Apparently, I just did. 568 00:26:26,294 --> 00:26:28,713 Do me a favor and, uh, don't tell the guys. 569 00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:31,299 Yeah. You have my utmost discretion. 570 00:26:31,382 --> 00:26:32,592 - Thank you. - Um, speaking of, 571 00:26:32,675 --> 00:26:34,719 Richard, I need to tell you something. 572 00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:36,387 I had to let ed chambers go. 573 00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:37,764 Who? 574 00:26:37,847 --> 00:26:39,390 My fictional supervisor. 575 00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:43,561 He bragged to a sales rep at lacroix about doing it to Sonia sotomayor. 576 00:26:43,644 --> 00:26:45,730 So, ed is no longer with us. 577 00:26:46,481 --> 00:26:47,899 I'm sure we can manage. 578 00:26:47,982 --> 00:26:49,817 He also was never actually with us. 579 00:26:49,901 --> 00:26:50,961 - Right. - 'Cause he was never real. 580 00:26:50,985 --> 00:26:52,361 Out of sight, out of mind. 581 00:26:52,862 --> 00:26:54,030 And out of reality. 582 00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:55,114 Yeah, well... 583 00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:58,326 Oh, ed chambers... 584 00:26:58,409 --> 00:26:59,869 Don't hit... no, no, no, no! Oh! 585 00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,287 ({thuds) {Groans) 586 00:27:01,370 --> 00:27:02,413 Fuck! 587 00:27:02,497 --> 00:27:04,040 - (Whistle blowing) - (Men shouting) 588 00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:08,961 Yeah, a lot of these guys aren't man enough to work for an all-female-led vc firm, 589 00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:10,630 but not me. 590 00:27:10,713 --> 00:27:12,632 I believe that the future is female. 591 00:27:12,715 --> 00:27:15,551 And anyone who says othennise can suck my fat dick. 592 00:27:15,635 --> 00:27:16,969 Yo, yo, yo. 593 00:27:17,053 --> 00:27:18,471 - Whoo! - (Men cheering) 594 00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:20,723 Bachman, scoreboard. 595 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,099 Ah, scoreboard. 596 00:27:22,183 --> 00:27:24,310 Fuck. Shit. Who made that one through the... 597 00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:26,312 It was a three-pointer, dumb-ass! 598 00:27:26,395 --> 00:27:28,397 (Chuckles) Three-pointer. What, are we in Europe? 599 00:27:30,608 --> 00:27:31,859 Is he fucking with me? 600 00:27:33,236 --> 00:27:35,112 (Mariachi song playing)