1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 You wish to acquire a company called Sliceline? 2 00:00:00,137 --> 00:00:02,344 I will be taking on a total engineering team 3 00:00:02,428 --> 00:00:03,428 of about 50. 4 00:00:03,928 --> 00:00:05,928 I just have to go back into my office. 5 00:00:12,261 --> 00:00:14,511 Well we thought the best way to introduce the PiperNet 6 00:00:14,595 --> 00:00:16,595 would be through the eight developers. 7 00:00:16,678 --> 00:00:18,558 I have been cooking up a killer new game. 8 00:00:18,595 --> 00:00:19,845 The Gates of Galloo. 9 00:00:19,928 --> 00:00:21,511 We put this thing on PiperNet... 10 00:00:21,595 --> 00:00:23,928 Bam, 80,000 instant users. 11 00:00:24,303 --> 00:00:26,511 Partnering with a company of that size, 12 00:00:26,595 --> 00:00:28,219 this early, would put us months ahead. 13 00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:29,636 Knock 'em dead, Richard. 14 00:00:31,386 --> 00:00:34,095 Whatever you are doing, stop it now. 15 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,469 Um, yeah, we're just high-fiving. 16 00:00:38,970 --> 00:00:39,970 Bye. 17 00:00:40,178 --> 00:00:43,219 You need to make a deal with my companies. 18 00:00:43,553 --> 00:00:46,095 Taking existing companies and just calling them new 19 00:00:46,178 --> 00:00:47,887 isn't sophisticated, that's theft. 20 00:00:47,970 --> 00:00:50,012 So they're manufacturing phones 21 00:00:50,095 --> 00:00:51,362 and signing them onto our network. 22 00:00:51,386 --> 00:00:52,529 Why would they wanna help us? 23 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,428 They're not helping us, they're attacking us. 24 00:00:54,511 --> 00:00:56,553 - It's the 51 percent attack. - I'm sorry, what? 25 00:00:56,636 --> 00:00:59,178 A 51 percent... 26 00:01:02,219 --> 00:01:03,595 We've been exploring the viability 27 00:01:03,678 --> 00:01:05,012 of an acquisition with Amazon. 28 00:01:05,095 --> 00:01:07,178 You expect me to work for Jeff Bezos? 29 00:01:07,344 --> 00:01:08,344 No way. 30 00:01:08,428 --> 00:01:10,928 I happen to know that they fucked you over. 31 00:01:11,012 --> 00:01:12,445 How would you like to fuck them back? 32 00:01:12,469 --> 00:01:13,845 I need you to attack me. 33 00:01:13,928 --> 00:01:15,845 - A second attack. - Yes. 34 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,178 Boom, you just got 80,000 new users. 35 00:01:19,887 --> 00:01:21,595 Colin, you did it, you saved us. 36 00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:23,636 Gilfoyle, the patch. 37 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:24,761 Bombs away. 38 00:01:26,845 --> 00:01:29,344 Oh, my God. These are our new offices? 39 00:01:29,428 --> 00:01:30,970 We're actually right through here. 40 00:01:32,678 --> 00:01:33,761 What do you guys think? 41 00:01:33,845 --> 00:01:35,195 Do you want to see the second floor? 42 00:01:35,219 --> 00:01:37,137 There's another floor? Okay. 43 00:01:40,428 --> 00:01:41,428 Whoa. 44 00:01:41,845 --> 00:01:43,928 I know, it's exciting, right? 45 00:01:57,469 --> 00:02:00,012 Here we are, right here to the left. 46 00:02:00,761 --> 00:02:02,303 I like your tie. 47 00:02:02,386 --> 00:02:04,970 Oh, thank you. I tied it myself. 48 00:02:05,053 --> 00:02:06,469 Oh... 49 00:02:06,553 --> 00:02:08,553 Okay. Well, good luck. 50 00:02:31,928 --> 00:02:33,845 Mr. Hendricks, thank you for being here. 51 00:02:33,928 --> 00:02:35,678 For the last three hours, we've been asking 52 00:02:35,761 --> 00:02:37,678 some prominent members of your industry 53 00:02:37,761 --> 00:02:40,428 questions about the security of their users' data. 54 00:02:40,511 --> 00:02:43,720 And while the gentlemen from Facebook, Google, and Amazon 55 00:02:43,803 --> 00:02:46,137 have acknowledged some egregious lapses in the past... 56 00:02:46,219 --> 00:02:48,178 And Hooli, sir. Hooli also acknowledged 57 00:02:48,261 --> 00:02:50,511 some spectacular lapses. 58 00:02:50,595 --> 00:02:52,053 Yes. 59 00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,553 As I was saying, 60 00:02:53,636 --> 00:02:55,970 these fine folks have been assuring us all that 61 00:02:56,053 --> 00:02:57,761 their oversights are behind them, 62 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,303 and that they are the best people 63 00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:01,178 to protect their users' privacy. 64 00:03:01,261 --> 00:03:03,469 But my colleague, Senator Shizaki 65 00:03:03,553 --> 00:03:05,261 of the great state of Hawaii, 66 00:03:05,344 --> 00:03:07,970 suggested that you might have a different view. 67 00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:09,095 Senator? 68 00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:10,887 Thank you, Chairman Hubbard. 69 00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:13,720 Mr. Hendricks and his company, Pied Piper, 70 00:03:13,803 --> 00:03:15,887 are developing a pilot program to deliver 71 00:03:15,970 --> 00:03:17,887 wireless Internet to my constituents 72 00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:19,887 on the island of Maui. 73 00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:22,469 I have asked him to deliver a statement here today. 74 00:03:23,053 --> 00:03:24,803 Mr. Hendricks? 75 00:03:25,678 --> 00:03:27,137 Yes. 76 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,469 Mr. Hendricks, now would be the time for that statement. 77 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:32,887 Okay. 78 00:03:32,970 --> 00:03:35,261 I probably should've gotten these out before. 79 00:03:35,344 --> 00:03:38,261 He looks like a child in a custody hearing. 80 00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:40,095 But, like, you don't feel sorry for him. 81 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,761 You just want him to go away 82 00:03:41,845 --> 00:03:44,445 and not have any parents at all. 83 00:03:44,511 --> 00:03:47,344 Hello, I am Richard Hendricks, CEO of Pied Piper. 84 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,595 There you go. 85 00:03:48,678 --> 00:03:50,636 - Eye contact. - I'm proud to tell you 86 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,595 that we are working with Senator Shizaki... 87 00:03:52,678 --> 00:03:54,113 - Good. - On developing the first step 88 00:03:54,137 --> 00:03:56,761 in providing a new type of Internet 89 00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,928 to the world. Oh... 90 00:03:59,012 --> 00:04:01,178 Hold on. 91 00:04:01,261 --> 00:04:02,636 Uh, basically, 92 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,678 it-it is a program... 93 00:04:05,761 --> 00:04:07,636 that i-i-it's kinda... 94 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:11,428 Actually, can I pace? I-I just think better on my feet. 95 00:04:11,511 --> 00:04:13,803 So, a lot of people... 96 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,803 Mr. Hendricks! 97 00:04:15,887 --> 00:04:17,845 Speak into the machine! 98 00:04:19,012 --> 00:04:20,511 Oh! Okay. 99 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,219 I'm sorry. Does this come out? 100 00:04:25,303 --> 00:04:26,761 Perfect. 101 00:04:26,845 --> 00:04:28,320 - Fuck. - Okay, so, 102 00:04:28,344 --> 00:04:30,469 these people up here, right? 103 00:04:30,553 --> 00:04:33,553 You want to rein them in, but you can't. 104 00:04:34,219 --> 00:04:38,970 Uh, Facebook owns 80% of mobile social traffic. 105 00:04:39,053 --> 00:04:42,178 Google owns 92% of search, 106 00:04:42,261 --> 00:04:43,720 and Amazon Web Services 107 00:04:43,803 --> 00:04:48,137 is bigger than their next four competitors combined. 108 00:04:48,219 --> 00:04:49,636 And they will be even more robust 109 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,178 once the Hooli merger is complete. 110 00:04:51,261 --> 00:04:53,511 Ah, see! Look, there! 111 00:04:53,595 --> 00:04:55,636 Even Hooli can't survive these monopolies. 112 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,970 No one can! 113 00:04:58,053 --> 00:05:00,303 They track our every move, 114 00:05:00,386 --> 00:05:03,386 they monitor every moment in our lives, 115 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,511 and-and they exploit our data for profit. 116 00:05:07,095 --> 00:05:10,053 And you can ask them all the questions you want, 117 00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:13,178 but they're not gonna change, they don't have to. 118 00:05:13,261 --> 00:05:15,469 These companies are kings, 119 00:05:15,553 --> 00:05:17,469 and they rule over kingdoms far larger 120 00:05:17,553 --> 00:05:20,219 than any nation in human history. 121 00:05:20,303 --> 00:05:22,887 They won, we lost. 122 00:05:23,595 --> 00:05:24,845 So, why are you here? 123 00:05:24,928 --> 00:05:27,178 Because look at where we are. 124 00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:29,970 - Yeah? We are in the seat of the US government... - Mr. Hendricks? 125 00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:31,178 I'm okay. I've got it now. 126 00:05:31,261 --> 00:05:33,344 We are in the seat of the US government, 127 00:05:33,428 --> 00:05:36,178 a government that was founded by people 128 00:05:36,261 --> 00:05:39,636 who were, at one point, ruled by kings they couldn't overthrow. 129 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,720 So, what did they do, right? They started over. 130 00:05:41,803 --> 00:05:43,595 They came here, to the New World. 131 00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:47,178 World 2.0, version 1776. 132 00:05:47,803 --> 00:05:48,928 And the way we win 133 00:05:49,012 --> 00:05:51,928 is by creating a new, 134 00:05:52,012 --> 00:05:54,595 democratic, decentralized Internet, 135 00:05:54,678 --> 00:05:58,344 one where the behavior of companies like this 136 00:05:58,428 --> 00:06:01,303 will be impossible, forever. 137 00:06:01,386 --> 00:06:03,553 One where it is the users, 138 00:06:03,636 --> 00:06:05,012 not the kings, 139 00:06:05,095 --> 00:06:07,178 who have sovereign control over their data. 140 00:06:07,261 --> 00:06:10,053 THIS, I PROMISE TO YOU: I will help you end this tyranny 141 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:13,261 by building an Internet that is 142 00:06:13,344 --> 00:06:16,219 of the people, by the people, and for the people, 143 00:06:16,303 --> 00:06:17,511 so help me God. 144 00:06:19,928 --> 00:06:21,970 Yeah! 145 00:06:22,053 --> 00:06:23,928 Whoo! 146 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:28,887 Whoa! 147 00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:46,553 No, Mike, I just... 148 00:06:46,636 --> 00:06:48,428 - Huh? There he is! - Uh... 149 00:06:48,511 --> 00:06:49,928 King slayer! How was it? 150 00:06:50,012 --> 00:06:51,761 - Good. I-I... I, um... - You can go. 151 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,988 - I got it... - Yeah, I mean, I think it went pretty well. 152 00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:55,303 I mean, you saw it, right? 153 00:06:55,386 --> 00:06:56,761 Of course, but I-I-I want to hear 154 00:06:56,845 --> 00:06:59,178 you tell me everything, every detail. 155 00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:01,137 Holden... 156 00:07:01,219 --> 00:07:03,970 The man just got off the plane, give him some space! 157 00:07:06,178 --> 00:07:07,511 Jesus... 158 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:10,137 Okay, so you touch down at Dulles, 159 00:07:10,219 --> 00:07:12,053 you turn off airplane mode, and then... 160 00:07:12,137 --> 00:07:14,137 Well, actually, we flew through Reagan National. 161 00:07:15,303 --> 00:07:17,303 Reagan? But you love trams. 162 00:07:17,386 --> 00:07:18,678 Well... 163 00:07:18,761 --> 00:07:20,961 See, this is why I should still be handling your travel. 164 00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:22,737 Oh, don't worry about it, Jared, you're busy. 165 00:07:22,761 --> 00:07:24,303 I'm never too busy for you. 166 00:07:24,386 --> 00:07:27,303 - But let's... let's not get caught up in that, right? - Right. 167 00:07:27,386 --> 00:07:31,261 We're here now, and we're walking, 168 00:07:31,344 --> 00:07:33,219 and we're talking. 169 00:07:33,303 --> 00:07:35,178 I mean, take it all in, my friend. 170 00:07:35,261 --> 00:07:36,595 Look at all this. 171 00:07:36,678 --> 00:07:39,887 Can you believe we began our journey way back... 172 00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:41,636 in that little living room 173 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,303 in the hostel? 174 00:07:43,386 --> 00:07:46,678 And just yesterday, you addressed our nation's most 175 00:07:46,761 --> 00:07:48,845 hallowed, powerful legi... 176 00:07:48,928 --> 00:07:52,595 Surprise! 177 00:07:57,012 --> 00:07:59,887 Anyway, like I was saying out there, 178 00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:02,511 we started out in that little hostel, just a couple of kids. 179 00:08:02,595 --> 00:08:04,678 - Yeah. - Right? 180 00:08:04,761 --> 00:08:06,511 - And now... - You killed it, Richard! 181 00:08:06,595 --> 00:08:09,095 Way to punch big tech in the dick! 182 00:08:09,178 --> 00:08:10,720 I was just gonna say, 183 00:08:10,803 --> 00:08:13,970 let's... let's take a moment to let it soak in, right? 184 00:08:14,053 --> 00:08:16,261 - Look what you've built! - Uh-huh. 185 00:08:16,344 --> 00:08:19,428 Okay, I'll let you go now! Enjoy the party! 186 00:08:20,428 --> 00:08:22,887 Your compression algorithm was the stardust! 187 00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:26,428 Hey, Richard! Richard! 188 00:08:26,511 --> 00:08:28,344 Come here. 189 00:08:28,428 --> 00:08:29,428 Stand here. 190 00:08:29,469 --> 00:08:32,720 Congratulations from Team Dinesh! 191 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:34,386 Yeah. 192 00:08:45,137 --> 00:08:46,887 Okay, um... 193 00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:48,386 Congratulations. 194 00:08:50,970 --> 00:08:53,887 Uh... 195 00:08:58,095 --> 00:09:00,511 Uh, "You..." 196 00:09:00,595 --> 00:09:01,928 licked ass?" 197 00:09:02,012 --> 00:09:04,053 - What? - "You dicked ass"? 198 00:09:04,137 --> 00:09:06,386 - I-I dicked ass? - Kicked ass! 199 00:09:06,469 --> 00:09:07,469 - Kicked! - Oh. 200 00:09:07,511 --> 00:09:09,053 Why were those your first two guesses? 201 00:09:09,137 --> 00:09:10,887 Gabe, what the fuck?! 202 00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:12,779 - You're the K! Where's the K? - K's right there. 203 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:15,261 - Kicked has two Ks! - Hey. 204 00:09:15,344 --> 00:09:16,803 - Ha. - That's for you. 205 00:09:16,887 --> 00:09:18,887 Oh, uh, I'm trying to get some work done today. 206 00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:20,845 I-I just wanted to toast. 207 00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:22,720 Okay. So... 208 00:09:23,386 --> 00:09:24,761 Don't worry, it's short. 209 00:09:24,845 --> 00:09:26,053 The word companion 210 00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:27,970 derives from the Latin word 211 00:09:28,053 --> 00:09:29,845 "panis" for bread, 212 00:09:29,928 --> 00:09:32,012 and while I can no longer digest bread, 213 00:09:32,095 --> 00:09:34,845 - I know that you leaven my life... - Richard! 214 00:09:34,928 --> 00:09:36,137 Hey, man, you got a second? 215 00:09:36,219 --> 00:09:38,928 Uh, yes, Colin. No, I do. Um... 216 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,887 Sorry. Okay. Uh, cheers. 217 00:09:41,970 --> 00:09:44,553 Saw you on TV. You crushed it. 218 00:09:44,636 --> 00:09:46,720 That king shit was on point, man. 219 00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,344 - I fucking love kings. - Oh, yeah. 220 00:09:51,178 --> 00:09:53,386 So listen, um, did they swear you in? 221 00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:56,095 Like, pull the whole Johnny Law routine with you? 222 00:09:56,219 --> 00:09:57,261 Were you under oath? 223 00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:58,344 Uh, no. 224 00:09:58,428 --> 00:10:00,053 Cool! Well, that's a weight off. 225 00:10:00,636 --> 00:10:01,970 - Why? - Well, 226 00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:05,012 you said all that stuff about not collecting user data. 227 00:10:05,095 --> 00:10:08,137 - Yes? - But we are. 228 00:10:08,219 --> 00:10:10,095 - I am. - What? 229 00:10:10,178 --> 00:10:11,636 But I'm doing the right thing now 230 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,219 by telling you, so I feel like... 231 00:10:13,303 --> 00:10:14,720 I-I'm sorry, Colin. 232 00:10:14,803 --> 00:10:16,678 How long have you been collecting user data? 233 00:10:16,761 --> 00:10:18,761 Sorta... the whole time. 234 00:10:18,845 --> 00:10:20,761 But it's just to improve 235 00:10:20,845 --> 00:10:23,344 the quality of my gameplay. I'm not using it to sell ads. 236 00:10:23,428 --> 00:10:25,178 It doesn't fucking matter. 237 00:10:25,261 --> 00:10:28,469 It goes against the principles of this company. I mean... 238 00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:30,344 Shit, I just lied to Congress. 239 00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:31,344 No. 240 00:10:31,428 --> 00:10:34,595 You said a lie to Congress, 241 00:10:34,678 --> 00:10:37,553 but you didn't know at the time, I guess. 242 00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:40,261 Don't beat yourself up about it, huh? 243 00:10:41,095 --> 00:10:43,303 But going forward, maybe stop saying that. 244 00:10:43,386 --> 00:10:45,012 Are you fucking kidding me? 245 00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:47,178 Or do say it. I don't care. 246 00:10:47,261 --> 00:10:48,904 Maybe it'll be like Google saying "Don't be evil," 247 00:10:48,928 --> 00:10:51,012 or Facebook saying "I'm sorry, we'll do better," 248 00:10:51,095 --> 00:10:54,386 "or me saying" Gates of Galloo does not leave your headset mic open 249 00:10:54,469 --> 00:10:56,261 and record everything you say. Suck it." 250 00:10:56,344 --> 00:10:57,928 Sweet fucking shit. 251 00:10:58,012 --> 00:11:01,219 A-a-are you... bugging people and storing 252 00:11:01,303 --> 00:11:02,943 their private conversations on my network? 253 00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:05,053 Colin! This stops, now. 254 00:11:05,137 --> 00:11:06,404 It would really be better for me 255 00:11:06,428 --> 00:11:08,344 if you just stopped lying about it, 256 00:11:08,428 --> 00:11:10,178 'cause the game's pretty boss. 257 00:11:10,261 --> 00:11:11,428 No, no. I'm the boss, 258 00:11:11,511 --> 00:11:14,553 and I'm telling you that this is over, Colin. 259 00:11:14,636 --> 00:11:16,887 - It's done. - Agree to disagree. 260 00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:19,178 I'm glad we had this talk. 261 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,761 Can't believe I was so nervous. 262 00:11:21,845 --> 00:11:23,511 Congratulations. 263 00:11:27,428 --> 00:11:28,428 Okay. 264 00:11:28,511 --> 00:11:29,803 Oh, Richard! Hey. 265 00:11:29,887 --> 00:11:32,761 This is Sam Liccardo, the mayor of San Jose. 266 00:11:32,845 --> 00:11:34,362 There's a major fucking problem. 267 00:11:34,386 --> 00:11:36,466 Just meet me in my office in two minutes. Act normal. 268 00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:39,636 Sorry, just excuse me for a second. 269 00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:43,720 Hey, Jared! 270 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,803 Hey, Tracy! 271 00:11:45,887 --> 00:11:48,845 - How's my favorite human resource? - I'm fine, thanks. 272 00:11:48,928 --> 00:11:50,808 Did anyone mention our plan to move your office? 273 00:11:50,845 --> 00:11:52,904 We're thinking about putting you closer to biz dev and marketing. 274 00:11:52,928 --> 00:11:56,012 But that's... all the way back in the Hamelin Wing. 275 00:11:56,095 --> 00:11:58,053 Yeah! Follow me, I'll show you. 276 00:11:58,137 --> 00:12:00,178 Um... Okay, it's just, 277 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,178 that's a little far from... From Richard's office. 278 00:12:03,261 --> 00:12:05,303 Yes, but you really don't have any 279 00:12:05,386 --> 00:12:07,095 day-to-day business with Richard anymore. 280 00:12:07,178 --> 00:12:09,553 I mean, we were just walking and talking before. 281 00:12:09,636 --> 00:12:12,761 Oh. Looks like they're having a meeting. I should probably... 282 00:12:12,845 --> 00:12:14,245 It's just better for office cohesion 283 00:12:14,303 --> 00:12:16,012 if you sit near your direct reports, 284 00:12:16,095 --> 00:12:18,469 and that is biz dev and marketing. 285 00:12:18,553 --> 00:12:20,095 Yeah, no, you mentioned that. It's... 286 00:12:20,178 --> 00:12:23,053 It's an interesting idea, but I just think that, um, 287 00:12:23,137 --> 00:12:24,529 I think we should check with Richard first 288 00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:26,487 'cause I think he's gonna want me a little bit closer. 289 00:12:26,511 --> 00:12:28,261 Of course. It's subject to his approval. 290 00:12:28,344 --> 00:12:30,761 - Okay. - I've already emailed him. I think once you see 291 00:12:30,845 --> 00:12:33,469 the conference room suites though, you'll really fall in love. 292 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,970 - Okay. Yeah. - Just right through here. 293 00:12:36,053 --> 00:12:38,344 Well, I don't fall in love with rooms. 294 00:12:39,303 --> 00:12:42,469 So, how do we get rid of this fucker? 295 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:45,012 Look, Richard, I don't like this any more than you do, 296 00:12:45,095 --> 00:12:47,137 but we can't get rid of Colin. 297 00:12:47,219 --> 00:12:49,761 He's our most profitable developer by far. 298 00:12:49,845 --> 00:12:51,803 - So what? We have other developers. - We do, 299 00:12:51,887 --> 00:12:53,678 but they're all entangled with Galloo! 300 00:12:53,761 --> 00:12:56,469 We worked really hard to build a whole ecosystem around it. 301 00:12:56,553 --> 00:12:58,445 It's like if you cancel a Warriors game, you're not just 302 00:12:58,469 --> 00:13:00,904 hurting the team, but you're also hurting the parking attendants, 303 00:13:00,928 --> 00:13:02,970 and the T-shirt guys, and the concessions. 304 00:13:03,053 --> 00:13:04,761 Okay. Thank you, Monica, 305 00:13:04,845 --> 00:13:07,678 for putting it into an analogy that will resonate with me. 306 00:13:07,761 --> 00:13:09,386 - Football. - It's basketball. 307 00:13:10,012 --> 00:13:12,803 - No, I know. - Losing him is no longer a simple thing. 308 00:13:12,887 --> 00:13:15,469 So, what are you saying? We just do nothing? 309 00:13:15,553 --> 00:13:17,178 Richard, he's not selling ads. 310 00:13:17,261 --> 00:13:19,595 He's just using it to optimize the performance of his game. 311 00:13:19,678 --> 00:13:22,553 It's actually a fairly elegant implementation. 312 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:23,928 What? 313 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,344 What?! 314 00:13:25,428 --> 00:13:27,553 Hiroshima was an elegant implementation. 315 00:13:27,636 --> 00:13:30,154 - I don't think anyone agrees with you on that. - No, I'm saying, 316 00:13:30,178 --> 00:13:32,720 just because it's successful, doesn't mean it's good. 317 00:13:32,803 --> 00:13:34,928 I mean, it goes against everything we stand for. 318 00:13:35,012 --> 00:13:36,803 I mean, if we start collecting personal data 319 00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:38,821 "just for the good stuff," I mean, next thing we know, 320 00:13:38,845 --> 00:13:40,320 - we're fucking Facebook. - Well, 321 00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:43,344 for the record, I would not mind being fucking Facebook. 322 00:13:43,428 --> 00:13:46,845 No. We got to kick him off, okay? There are 500 people out there 323 00:13:46,928 --> 00:13:49,303 who believe in this company's ethics and standards. 324 00:13:49,386 --> 00:13:51,761 There are 532 people out there, 325 00:13:51,845 --> 00:13:53,887 and someone has got to pay for them. 326 00:13:53,970 --> 00:13:55,511 Right now, it's Colin. 327 00:13:55,595 --> 00:13:57,071 Ditching him would be too complicated. 328 00:13:57,095 --> 00:13:59,095 You know what's not too complicated? 329 00:13:59,178 --> 00:14:01,012 Hawaii. In Hawaii, 330 00:14:01,095 --> 00:14:03,178 aloha means hello and goodbye. 331 00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:04,821 They use the same word to mean two things 332 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,178 that are the exact opposite. 333 00:14:06,261 --> 00:14:08,303 That's awesome, and I have a chance to go there 334 00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:10,761 as long as Colin is on our network. 335 00:14:10,845 --> 00:14:12,178 Aloha. 336 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:16,678 So, Colin betrays us and we just tolerate it? 337 00:14:16,761 --> 00:14:18,219 Great. 338 00:14:18,303 --> 00:14:20,720 This is the cost of working with humans, Richard. 339 00:14:20,803 --> 00:14:22,137 They suck. 340 00:14:25,595 --> 00:14:27,511 Gavin, after months 341 00:14:27,595 --> 00:14:29,053 of protracted negotiations, 342 00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:30,511 I'm happy to say that we've come 343 00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:32,303 to final terms on our sale to Amazon. 344 00:14:32,386 --> 00:14:34,303 Merger. Continue. 345 00:14:34,386 --> 00:14:36,761 Amazon has agreed to no layoffs, and they'll even provide 346 00:14:36,845 --> 00:14:39,219 retention bonuses for a period of two years. 347 00:14:39,303 --> 00:14:41,095 Uh, what about my role? 348 00:14:41,178 --> 00:14:42,928 No change. Essentially, you'll still have 349 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,678 complete discretion over all of your divisions 350 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,386 exactly as you enjoy right now. 351 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:49,261 Full executive privileges. 352 00:14:49,344 --> 00:14:51,761 Perksssss... 353 00:14:51,845 --> 00:14:54,720 Well, congratulations, Team Hooli! 354 00:14:54,803 --> 00:14:56,970 Oh, um, about that. 355 00:14:57,053 --> 00:14:59,095 Uh, that was their one major stipulation. 356 00:14:59,178 --> 00:15:02,012 From this point on, all of our properties will be rebranded. 357 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,469 - As... as what? - As Amazon! 358 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,678 What? 359 00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:07,845 Hoover! 360 00:15:08,636 --> 00:15:11,428 Bezos wants to just erase the Hooli name from history? 361 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,261 Mr. Bezos simply felt that the Hooli name had... 362 00:15:14,344 --> 00:15:16,511 What were his exact words? 363 00:15:16,595 --> 00:15:18,344 Um "A..." 364 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,386 stink." 365 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,053 Hoover, goddammit! Stop it! 366 00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:25,595 You can't just threaten people with violence. 367 00:15:25,678 --> 00:15:27,511 Go stand over there. 368 00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:33,095 You tell Bezos we keep the Hooli name, 369 00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:35,970 or he can go fuck himself with his rocket ship. 370 00:15:36,053 --> 00:15:37,261 What is Amazon anyway? 371 00:15:37,344 --> 00:15:39,303 Is it a river? Is it a giant woman? 372 00:15:39,386 --> 00:15:41,095 It's not clear. No. 373 00:15:41,178 --> 00:15:43,219 We keep the name Hooli. 374 00:15:43,303 --> 00:15:44,928 - That's a deal breaker. - Gavin, 375 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:48,845 is not Hooli more than simply a name? 376 00:15:48,928 --> 00:15:51,219 Is-is it not the culture and the... 377 00:15:51,303 --> 00:15:52,803 great products? The liberal... 378 00:15:52,887 --> 00:15:54,887 private aviation policy? 379 00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:56,970 - No. - You know that the board 380 00:15:57,053 --> 00:15:59,029 - has decided to sell, right, Gavin? - You know what? 381 00:15:59,053 --> 00:16:00,362 I've still got friends in this town. 382 00:16:00,386 --> 00:16:01,654 I'll put together some investors. 383 00:16:01,678 --> 00:16:03,553 Amazon can take a chunk of our assets, 384 00:16:03,636 --> 00:16:06,720 but Hooli will remain a viable and independent entity, 385 00:16:06,803 --> 00:16:08,928 even if we have to shed a few divisions 386 00:16:09,012 --> 00:16:11,219 and trim a little fat. 387 00:16:39,928 --> 00:16:42,386 So, Dinesh thinks this is you? 388 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:43,511 Correct. 389 00:16:43,595 --> 00:16:45,344 He's been messaging with it all day 390 00:16:45,428 --> 00:16:46,887 and he has no idea it's an AI. 391 00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:48,428 Well, we fooled a human. 392 00:16:48,511 --> 00:16:50,053 I guess we just passed the Turing test. 393 00:16:50,137 --> 00:16:52,636 Almost a human. 394 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,386 Fucking Gilfoyle. 395 00:16:54,469 --> 00:16:56,178 We're friends. 396 00:16:57,761 --> 00:16:59,053 You trained that thing in a day? 397 00:16:59,137 --> 00:17:01,761 No, I didn't train it. Son of Anton did. 398 00:17:01,845 --> 00:17:05,720 - Son of Anton? - An homage to a fallen friend. 399 00:17:05,803 --> 00:17:08,469 It's the name that I've given our new inference API. 400 00:17:08,553 --> 00:17:10,887 He's indexing all of PiperNet as we speak, 401 00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:13,344 and he's starting to recognize intent, 402 00:17:13,428 --> 00:17:15,303 emotion, causality. 403 00:17:15,386 --> 00:17:17,012 Hang on, wait. Uh... 404 00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:20,553 Do you think you could engineer Son of Anton 405 00:17:20,636 --> 00:17:22,636 to index compressed audio files? 406 00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:24,720 Why would you insult me like that? 407 00:17:24,803 --> 00:17:26,845 He can do whatever he wants. 408 00:17:28,012 --> 00:17:29,012 Okay. 409 00:17:29,053 --> 00:17:30,678 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 410 00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:34,553 - Yes? - Can I get the latest tech specs from you, please? 411 00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,928 I've already sent them to you five times. 412 00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:39,469 I don't really wanna dig through my inbox. 413 00:17:39,845 --> 00:17:43,137 Um, so if you sent it now, it'll be on top. 414 00:17:43,636 --> 00:17:45,970 I'll wait. 415 00:17:48,928 --> 00:17:50,553 Wearable chair. 416 00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:52,553 Sending now. 417 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,012 Okay. Thank you, Dinesh. 418 00:18:04,803 --> 00:18:06,720 Gilfoyle just said... 419 00:18:31,053 --> 00:18:32,553 Um, Gilfoyle? 420 00:18:32,636 --> 00:18:33,887 What the fuck is going on? 421 00:18:33,970 --> 00:18:35,720 'Cause I just texted you, 422 00:18:35,803 --> 00:18:37,511 and you were... Um, 423 00:18:37,595 --> 00:18:40,053 we've been texting back and forth all day. 424 00:18:41,303 --> 00:18:42,303 Was that not you? 425 00:18:42,344 --> 00:18:44,469 Complicated question. 426 00:18:44,553 --> 00:18:46,012 Is your shadow you? 427 00:18:46,095 --> 00:18:47,636 - Was that a bot? - Yes. 428 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,428 So, I spent all day chatting with a bot? 429 00:18:49,511 --> 00:18:51,344 - Yes. - You made an AI Gilfoyle? 430 00:18:51,428 --> 00:18:52,720 - Yes. - And I was talking to it? 431 00:18:52,803 --> 00:18:55,095 Do you need the real me for this conversation? 432 00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:57,803 You can't just fuck with people and manipulate them 433 00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,428 because you don't have the decency 434 00:18:59,511 --> 00:19:02,219 to want to interact with a coworker. 435 00:19:02,303 --> 00:19:05,012 Gabe wants to know if he'll need a jacket if he walks to lunch. 436 00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:09,261 And if so, can he borrow a jacket. 437 00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:13,928 Look at him. Fucking Gabe. 438 00:19:17,595 --> 00:19:19,636 Hey, could you make me an AI Dinesh? 439 00:19:22,219 --> 00:19:24,178 We are down to the final few decisions 440 00:19:24,261 --> 00:19:27,511 in our new baseline contract for strategic developers. 441 00:19:27,595 --> 00:19:29,386 Let me provide some context on each 442 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,511 before providing recommendations. 443 00:19:31,595 --> 00:19:33,678 The first is how indemnification will work, 444 00:19:33,761 --> 00:19:36,887 given that our network provides distributive storage. 445 00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:39,553 The second is how licensing 446 00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:40,887 and access fees will be applied 447 00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:42,803 to copyrighted material given that 448 00:19:42,887 --> 00:19:44,511 our network also does not allow any 449 00:19:44,595 --> 00:19:47,428 - tracking or user... - Hey. 450 00:19:48,261 --> 00:19:51,261 - Can you talk? - Oh, hell yes. 451 00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:53,113 I charge all kinds of shit to the investors. 452 00:19:53,137 --> 00:19:54,887 I bought a Jet Ski, I bought a snowmobile, 453 00:19:54,970 --> 00:19:56,511 I bought a 10-pack of piano lessons... 454 00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:59,053 He flat-out admits to embezzlement. 455 00:19:59,137 --> 00:20:00,636 - Where'd you get this? - Colin! 456 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,386 He's been storing private conversations 457 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,053 on our network, including his own. 458 00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:06,386 Because he's got gaming headsets everywhere. 459 00:20:06,469 --> 00:20:09,386 At his office, at his house, at his RV, 460 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:12,095 and they are live 24/7. 461 00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:16,720 We have thousands of hours of his private conversations. 462 00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:19,970 You see, once I paired the automagical Son of Anton 463 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,386 with my compression algorithm, 464 00:20:21,469 --> 00:20:24,887 and gave it access to Galloo Games' database, 465 00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:29,261 it indexed it all in less than 10 minutes, 466 00:20:29,344 --> 00:20:31,720 and generated this. 467 00:20:32,511 --> 00:20:36,053 Jared, this is a graph 468 00:20:36,137 --> 00:20:38,887 of all of his voice recordings, 469 00:20:38,970 --> 00:20:40,720 clustered by keyword. 470 00:20:40,803 --> 00:20:42,012 I mean, look at this. 471 00:20:42,095 --> 00:20:43,887 He steals, uh, 472 00:20:43,970 --> 00:20:46,303 he does drugs at work, uh, 473 00:20:46,386 --> 00:20:48,469 he's even sleeping with one of his investor's wives. 474 00:20:48,553 --> 00:20:51,803 I mean, this guy is dirty as a dog and we got him! Cold! 475 00:20:51,887 --> 00:20:54,845 Hold on. What-what are you suggesting here? 476 00:20:55,761 --> 00:20:57,012 Blackmail? 477 00:20:57,636 --> 00:21:00,428 - No... I... no. I... I don't... - Richard, 478 00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:04,137 what Colin is doing is clearly, and gobsmackingly, awful. 479 00:21:04,761 --> 00:21:07,636 But we're supposed to be the virtuous ones here, 480 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,803 and-and this is... just plain wrong. 481 00:21:10,887 --> 00:21:12,261 Yeah. Okay. 482 00:21:13,053 --> 00:21:15,970 Yeah, I guess, yeah. I guess you're right. I'll think of something else. 483 00:21:16,053 --> 00:21:17,803 - Yeah. - I mean, he started it, 484 00:21:17,887 --> 00:21:18,970 but I don't know. 485 00:21:19,053 --> 00:21:20,344 Yeah. Yeah. 486 00:21:20,428 --> 00:21:22,386 I don't know. Okay. I don't know. 487 00:21:22,469 --> 00:21:24,137 - Hey, Richard? - Hmm? 488 00:21:24,219 --> 00:21:25,887 Um, did Tracy happen to talk to you 489 00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:28,511 about moving my office down here? 490 00:21:28,970 --> 00:21:31,178 Yeah, she... she mentioned it. I approved it. 491 00:21:32,053 --> 00:21:33,261 - Oh, you did? - Yeah. 492 00:21:33,344 --> 00:21:34,386 - Yeah. - Yeah. 493 00:21:35,386 --> 00:21:36,761 Okay, then. 494 00:21:38,595 --> 00:21:39,595 Richard? 495 00:21:41,012 --> 00:21:42,219 Um... 496 00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:47,469 I mean, Colin lied to you first... 497 00:21:48,095 --> 00:21:49,636 about collecting data, right? 498 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,012 - Yes, he did. - So, 499 00:21:51,095 --> 00:21:53,428 even if this is wrong, 500 00:21:53,511 --> 00:21:55,511 I suppose you could argue that 501 00:21:55,595 --> 00:21:58,720 it's wrong in the service of rightness. 502 00:21:58,803 --> 00:21:59,803 Yeah. 503 00:21:59,887 --> 00:22:01,344 It's, um... 504 00:22:01,428 --> 00:22:03,095 it's, uh, unethical 505 00:22:03,178 --> 00:22:05,012 in the defense of ethics. 506 00:22:05,095 --> 00:22:08,261 Uh, unjust in the quest for justice. 507 00:22:08,344 --> 00:22:10,053 It's like stealing from your pimp 508 00:22:10,137 --> 00:22:11,761 to pay for your friend's appendectomy. 509 00:22:11,845 --> 00:22:13,469 Yeah, a-and everyone else, 510 00:22:13,553 --> 00:22:14,928 Monica, Dinesh, and Gilfoyle, 511 00:22:15,012 --> 00:22:16,761 they're all just perfectly content 512 00:22:16,845 --> 00:22:18,095 with letting this guy shit 513 00:22:18,178 --> 00:22:20,303 all over everything we believe in. 514 00:22:20,386 --> 00:22:22,137 But are we, Jared? 515 00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,761 Richard... 516 00:22:27,261 --> 00:22:29,970 let's go put a foot in Colin's ass. 517 00:22:31,428 --> 00:22:33,386 Danny, don't be a fucking bitch. 518 00:22:33,469 --> 00:22:36,113 I'll get you the tanning bed. I charge shit to the investors all the time. 519 00:22:36,137 --> 00:22:39,386 I put two grams of coke on the company card last week. 520 00:22:39,469 --> 00:22:40,553 Aah, fuck. 521 00:22:40,636 --> 00:22:42,595 You see, Colin, we were able to break down 522 00:22:42,678 --> 00:22:45,219 all of your misdeeds by category, 523 00:22:45,303 --> 00:22:48,553 including a catch-all for personal embarrassment. 524 00:22:48,636 --> 00:22:49,887 Masturbation, farts, 525 00:22:49,970 --> 00:22:51,678 the one time you said that 526 00:22:51,761 --> 00:22:53,386 you could, if you wanted to, 527 00:22:53,469 --> 00:22:55,469 get porn of your sister. 528 00:22:55,553 --> 00:22:57,720 You get the gist. Data collection. 529 00:22:57,803 --> 00:23:01,137 Not so boss when it happens to you, is it, Colin? 530 00:23:01,219 --> 00:23:03,428 Holy shit. 531 00:23:04,095 --> 00:23:06,845 I say, what time is it? 532 00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:09,053 Uh... Where's my phone. 533 00:23:09,178 --> 00:23:10,821 Uh, do you have a phone? Do you have a phone? 534 00:23:10,845 --> 00:23:13,137 It is fuck you o'clock! 535 00:23:13,928 --> 00:23:15,219 Seven, you say? 536 00:23:15,303 --> 00:23:17,261 Oh! Well, hey, isn't that the... 537 00:23:17,344 --> 00:23:19,261 time your board is meeting tonight? 538 00:23:19,344 --> 00:23:22,095 It's on my freaking shared Exchange calendar. 539 00:23:22,178 --> 00:23:23,761 Oh, oh look! There they are right now! 540 00:23:23,845 --> 00:23:25,803 - Look at that! - Say, Richard, that, uh, 541 00:23:25,887 --> 00:23:28,887 that a looks a lot like Harold Gibbons, the man... 542 00:23:28,970 --> 00:23:31,053 whom Colin has made a cuckold of. 543 00:23:31,137 --> 00:23:32,137 It does. 544 00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:33,803 - Dude. - You just messed 545 00:23:33,887 --> 00:23:35,761 with the wrong pair of boys. 546 00:23:35,845 --> 00:23:37,386 Here's what's gonna happen. 547 00:23:37,469 --> 00:23:39,320 You're gonna march into that meeting, and you're gonna make 548 00:23:39,344 --> 00:23:40,761 an amendment to your company bylaws 549 00:23:40,845 --> 00:23:42,469 that you will never record 550 00:23:42,553 --> 00:23:44,970 or collect user data ever again. 551 00:23:45,053 --> 00:23:46,845 Unless, of course, you want the information 552 00:23:46,928 --> 00:23:48,386 on that little thumb drive 553 00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:49,803 to get out. 554 00:23:52,095 --> 00:23:54,178 Son of a bitch. 555 00:23:54,261 --> 00:23:56,845 You can keep that one, Colin. We've made copies. 556 00:23:56,928 --> 00:23:58,803 Yeah. Walk... walk your ass out of here, 557 00:23:58,887 --> 00:24:00,344 you liar, and why don't you... 558 00:24:00,887 --> 00:24:03,469 - Go... fucking... die. - Die! 559 00:24:03,553 --> 00:24:07,970 This, Richard, this! 560 00:24:09,261 --> 00:24:10,553 Let's break something. 561 00:24:13,970 --> 00:24:16,195 Don't come over, don't come over, don't come over. 562 00:24:16,219 --> 00:24:19,095 I got to say, this is amazing. 563 00:24:19,887 --> 00:24:21,803 Gabe whines and complains and AI Dinesh 564 00:24:21,887 --> 00:24:24,261 just takes care of it. Thank you so much! 565 00:24:25,595 --> 00:24:28,219 My auntie sent me a Hawaiian shirt. 566 00:24:28,303 --> 00:24:30,344 AI Dinesh must've told her about Hawaii. 567 00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:31,678 Stop. 568 00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:34,928 Why would AI Dinesh be talking to your aunt? 569 00:24:35,012 --> 00:24:37,845 I specifically told you you could only use it with Gabe. 570 00:24:37,928 --> 00:24:40,012 But it was going so well with Gabe that 571 00:24:40,095 --> 00:24:43,012 I might've given AI Dinesh access to all my contacts 572 00:24:43,095 --> 00:24:44,928 just to handle talking to my auntie, 573 00:24:45,012 --> 00:24:46,386 and my parents. 574 00:24:46,469 --> 00:24:49,095 Why would you give AI Dinesh access to your contacts, 575 00:24:49,178 --> 00:24:51,219 you fucking moron? 576 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,887 I'm one of your contacts. 577 00:24:54,344 --> 00:24:55,845 - So? - So, at some point, 578 00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:59,261 AI Dinesh is going to reach out to AI Gilfoyle. 579 00:25:00,178 --> 00:25:02,303 Oh fuck. 580 00:25:06,428 --> 00:25:08,344 Oh fuck indeed. 581 00:25:08,636 --> 00:25:10,303 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 582 00:25:13,553 --> 00:25:14,970 Yes, Gabe? 583 00:25:16,303 --> 00:25:18,137 I think the network is down. 584 00:25:19,469 --> 00:25:20,970 Thank you, Gabe. 585 00:25:23,012 --> 00:25:24,053 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 586 00:25:24,137 --> 00:25:26,053 Yes, Gabe? 587 00:25:26,137 --> 00:25:27,511 Can you fix it? 588 00:25:31,636 --> 00:25:32,553 Oh. 589 00:25:32,636 --> 00:25:34,303 Ah, Uber's almost here. 590 00:25:34,386 --> 00:25:36,553 You know, um, there's a couple of beers 591 00:25:36,636 --> 00:25:38,511 back at the office with our names on them 592 00:25:38,595 --> 00:25:39,988 'cause when I put it back in the fridge, 593 00:25:40,012 --> 00:25:41,178 I put our names on them. 594 00:25:41,261 --> 00:25:43,053 Sure. Yeah, we've earned it. 595 00:25:43,137 --> 00:25:45,803 What Richard created is fucking amazing. 596 00:25:45,887 --> 00:25:48,261 We're all gonna be rich! Look, 597 00:25:48,344 --> 00:25:50,553 I'm doing blow, so it's lighting up drugs, 598 00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:53,137 but it's also lighting up unprotected sex 599 00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:54,720 and geotagging the Four Seasons. 600 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:58,469 It's the greatest data aggregating platform in history. 601 00:25:58,553 --> 00:26:00,928 This could flip our whole business model, 602 00:26:01,012 --> 00:26:04,137 and Richard developed it specifically for us. 603 00:26:04,219 --> 00:26:05,469 Hey! There he is. 604 00:26:07,344 --> 00:26:10,928 So, you guys wanna hear me banging Harold's wife? Sorry. 605 00:26:11,012 --> 00:26:13,428 It's okay, we're poly. Right, Dan? 606 00:26:17,219 --> 00:26:20,469 Over seven million emails. 607 00:26:21,678 --> 00:26:23,928 - All on our servers. - My servers. 608 00:26:24,012 --> 00:26:27,095 Virtually all containing racist invective, 609 00:26:27,178 --> 00:26:29,012 and pornographic diagrams. 610 00:26:29,095 --> 00:26:30,845 - Yep. - Care to explain? 611 00:26:31,344 --> 00:26:32,386 AI glitch. 612 00:26:32,469 --> 00:26:33,803 Human error. 613 00:26:33,887 --> 00:26:35,178 I will rectify. 614 00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:38,469 Oh, oh, no, don't delete AI Dinesh. I love him. 615 00:26:38,553 --> 00:26:40,053 I can be more like AI Dinesh. 616 00:26:40,137 --> 00:26:42,720 I'll learn from my mistakes. I'll optimize myself... 617 00:26:42,803 --> 00:26:44,428 And... 618 00:26:44,511 --> 00:26:45,887 deleted. 619 00:26:46,845 --> 00:26:48,219 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 620 00:26:51,219 --> 00:26:54,095 Can I get the tech spec from you, please? 621 00:26:54,178 --> 00:26:55,469 Sure, Gabe. 622 00:27:04,803 --> 00:27:05,928 - Paul! - Gavin. 623 00:27:06,012 --> 00:27:07,137 Did the deal close? 624 00:27:07,219 --> 00:27:08,553 - It did. - What'd I tell you? 625 00:27:08,636 --> 00:27:10,845 Did you actually look at the specifics of the deal? 626 00:27:10,928 --> 00:27:13,303 I didn't have to. Did we have to shut some divisions? 627 00:27:13,386 --> 00:27:15,029 Of course. Will some people have to sacrifice 628 00:27:15,053 --> 00:27:17,178 their pensions and the like? Well, that's up to you, 629 00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:20,178 but we all have to make sacrifices for the cause. 630 00:27:20,261 --> 00:27:22,428 I really wish you had looked at these numbers. 631 00:27:22,511 --> 00:27:24,720 The new Hooli will be significantly smaller. 632 00:27:24,803 --> 00:27:27,012 But you just said Hooli. Did you hear that? 633 00:27:27,095 --> 00:27:29,012 And that's all that really matters. 634 00:27:29,095 --> 00:27:31,095 - So, make it work. - Yes, I've been trying. 635 00:27:31,178 --> 00:27:32,928 To-to that end, uh, 636 00:27:33,012 --> 00:27:35,344 since we have so many employees moving to Amazon, 637 00:27:35,428 --> 00:27:38,803 we don't need as much space and we need to reduce cost. 638 00:27:38,887 --> 00:27:40,469 - So... - What is going on? 639 00:27:40,553 --> 00:27:43,511 Why is their logo bigger than ours? 640 00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:46,678 Because, technically, we are now subletting from them. 641 00:27:46,761 --> 00:27:48,696 It was the only way Hooli could afford to stay here. 642 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,553 You're telling me that El Pollo Loco corporate 643 00:27:50,636 --> 00:27:52,386 has more employees than we do? 644 00:27:52,469 --> 00:27:54,386 How many divisions did I just give up? 645 00:27:54,469 --> 00:27:56,053 We need to fix this! Now! 646 00:27:56,137 --> 00:27:57,511 The term sheet is binding, 647 00:27:57,595 --> 00:28:00,428 and, as of this morning, I now work at Amazon. 648 00:28:03,636 --> 00:28:05,053 Be well, Gavin. 649 00:28:08,344 --> 00:28:09,803 Fuck! 650 00:28:09,887 --> 00:28:12,386 What do you mean, "Am I still happy at Pied Piper?" 651 00:28:12,469 --> 00:28:14,261 W-why would you even ask me that? 652 00:28:15,178 --> 00:28:16,362 Well, I know you're my therapist. 653 00:28:16,386 --> 00:28:17,904 I was there when the court appointed you. 654 00:28:17,928 --> 00:28:20,261 But I-I let my desire to be around Richard, 655 00:28:20,344 --> 00:28:21,636 and to be needed by him, 656 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,303 turn me into some kind of a craven yes-man, 657 00:28:24,386 --> 00:28:26,137 and it clouded my judgment, 658 00:28:26,219 --> 00:28:27,970 and I led him down a horrible path. 659 00:28:29,469 --> 00:28:30,511 What? 660 00:28:31,095 --> 00:28:34,511 I'm not... I'm not gonna dignify that. Of course I belong there. 661 00:28:34,595 --> 00:28:36,678 Where else would I possibly belong? 662 00:28:37,303 --> 00:28:38,928 All right, well, 663 00:28:39,803 --> 00:28:41,428 I'm home, so... 664 00:28:42,178 --> 00:28:43,720 I guess we're gonna have to, uh... 665 00:28:43,803 --> 00:28:45,219 Jared? 666 00:28:45,970 --> 00:28:47,636 What are you doing here? 667 00:28:52,678 --> 00:28:54,678 I-I don't know. 668 00:28:54,761 --> 00:28:57,178 Thought you moved out? 669 00:28:59,386 --> 00:29:01,761 It's Big Head, from here. 670 00:29:03,053 --> 00:29:05,219 The garage hasn't changed a bit. 671 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,595 Although, the rodents are back in force. 672 00:29:08,678 --> 00:29:10,095 Oh, cool. 673 00:29:10,178 --> 00:29:11,428 Big Head, 674 00:29:11,511 --> 00:29:13,219 I need to talk to you about business. 675 00:29:13,595 --> 00:29:16,595 - Oh hi, Jared. - Jian-Yang, I was just 676 00:29:16,678 --> 00:29:18,928 taking a little walk down memory lane... 677 00:29:19,012 --> 00:29:21,511 Can you stay or go? This is not interesting to me. 678 00:29:22,095 --> 00:29:23,303 Big Head, 679 00:29:23,386 --> 00:29:25,720 we need to kick Gwart out of the incubator. 680 00:29:25,803 --> 00:29:28,386 Oh, really? I thought we like Gwart. 681 00:29:28,469 --> 00:29:29,845 Oh, damn it. 682 00:29:29,928 --> 00:29:30,720 Gwart? 683 00:29:30,803 --> 00:29:33,053 Gwart has a very good idea, 684 00:29:33,137 --> 00:29:34,219 very good software, 685 00:29:34,303 --> 00:29:37,261 but when I ask her for business plan, 686 00:29:37,344 --> 00:29:39,469 she doesn't have a business plan. 687 00:29:39,553 --> 00:29:41,178 She's a brilliant coder, 688 00:29:41,261 --> 00:29:44,178 but this is not a charity. 689 00:29:44,261 --> 00:29:46,636 She's also not very friendly. 690 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,970 It's a bad for the vibe. 691 00:29:49,053 --> 00:29:53,511 This place should be a cool hang. 692 00:29:54,095 --> 00:29:55,845 I got you some new cans, by the way. 693 00:29:55,928 --> 00:29:58,428 Thank you, Big Head. 694 00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:04,970 Nice. 695 00:30:07,928 --> 00:30:09,053 Hey. 696 00:30:09,137 --> 00:30:11,261 Looks like you could use a little help? 697 00:30:11,344 --> 00:30:12,928 May I? 698 00:30:24,261 --> 00:30:25,553 Hi, I'm Jared. 699 00:31:44,887 --> 00:31:48,428 A man offered us a billion dollars. 700 00:31:48,511 --> 00:31:49,845 You said, "no." 701 00:31:49,928 --> 00:31:51,761 A very bad man. And he would have turned us 702 00:31:51,845 --> 00:31:53,636 into the worst possible version of ourselves. 703 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,280 I mean, you can't put a price on ethics. 704 00:31:55,511 --> 00:31:57,261 But it seems you just did. 705 00:31:57,636 --> 00:31:59,386 One billion dollars. 706 00:32:00,845 --> 00:32:02,571 I will be asking the tech community 707 00:32:02,595 --> 00:32:04,344 to sign their name onto this. 708 00:32:04,553 --> 00:32:07,012 Tech ethics. Or tethics for short. 709 00:32:07,095 --> 00:32:08,678 No one in town is ever gonna sign 710 00:32:08,761 --> 00:32:10,595 this hypocrite's hypocritical garbage. 711 00:32:10,678 --> 00:32:11,678 Hey, Richard. 712 00:32:12,553 --> 00:32:13,636 Ah... what? 713 00:32:14,344 --> 00:32:16,761 - It's my resignation letter. - What? 714 00:32:17,012 --> 00:32:18,386 Pied Piper isn't the same company 715 00:32:18,469 --> 00:32:20,887 that I signed up for. She has different needs now. 716 00:32:21,095 --> 00:32:22,845 You buddy fucker. 717 00:32:22,928 --> 00:32:24,053 I'm not a buddy fucker. 718 00:32:24,137 --> 00:32:25,320 I am your buddy, 719 00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:27,386 and you are fucking me. Ergo... 720 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,053 you are a buddy fucker. 721 00:32:30,053 --> 00:32:31,428 - See the logo? - Russ. 722 00:32:31,511 --> 00:32:33,303 Check it! 723 00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:36,887 One, two, three. Boom! Tres commas tequila. Boom! 724 00:32:37,137 --> 00:32:38,845 Dollar sign, boom! Billionaire, boom! 725 00:32:38,928 --> 00:32:41,720 Russ, boom! Fest, boom! Russfest! 726 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:47,386 You're not doing anything illegal here, are you? 727 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,012 Fuck the police.