1 00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:07,181 - ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:09,922 - I'm a mom, and I support the Second Amendment. 3 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,229 - I'm a teacher, and so do I. 4 00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:14,057 - There's a lot of talk about guns 5 00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,580 going on in America right now. 6 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,017 - But no government has the right to tell me 7 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,888 how to defend my family. 8 00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,629 That's why, as a mom... 9 00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:21,717 - As a teacher... 10 00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:22,761 - And as an American... 11 00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:24,633 - I will always be proud 12 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:25,764 to drive a tank. 13 00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:28,680 [upbeat music] 14 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:32,075 - Making our city safer doesn't mean taking tanks away. 15 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,643 It means keeping tanks out of the wrong hands. 16 00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:36,645 - If something should happen in my school, 17 00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:40,083 the last thing we need is a zero tank policy. 18 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:42,781 What we need is more good guys with tanks. 19 00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:46,263 - Stricter laws won't prevent criminals from getting tanks. 20 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:50,354 They'll just get the tanks on the black market. 21 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:52,182 - Target locked. - Oh, shit, shit, shit. 22 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:54,837 - Firing in three, two... - Holy shit. 23 00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:56,186 - Missile aborted. 24 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:57,666 - Thought that was a blinker. 25 00:00:57,753 --> 00:00:58,710 My bad. 26 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:05,021 - If it's not Sudafed or plastic straws, 27 00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,892 it shouldn't be regulated. 28 00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,982 - What we have in this country is not a tank crisis. 29 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,767 It's a mental health crisis. 30 00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,420 There's some real wackos out there. 31 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,075 - I sleep easier knowing my children 32 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,554 are safe in their beds, 33 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,036 thanks to my 1,500 horsepower M1 Abrams. 34 00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:23,431 - The last time I checked, this was the U.S. of America. 35 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:25,737 - Land of the brave, home of the me. 36 00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:28,131 5G is a Chinese conspiracy. 37 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:30,655 - The number seven is fake. 38 00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:32,353 - Hot dog! 39 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,615 Ever heard of it? 40 00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:36,618 I eat big hot dog when I want! 41 00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:39,360 And I have big Coke, and I do baseball. 42 00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:42,798 - I eat hot burger, and big potato. 43 00:01:42,884 --> 00:01:45,757 I eat big potato. 44 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,497 Num, num, num, num, num. 45 00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,892 - I wear leather jacket, and I watch "Young Sheldon." 46 00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,850 And you fuck right off. 47 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:52,851 - And I pledge allegiance... 48 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,418 - To the flag... 49 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:58,030 - Of the United States of et cetera. 50 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,946 - And to the me public for which it me. 51 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,774 - One me. - Under God. 52 00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,385 - With meberty. 53 00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:05,603 - And no gay. 54 00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:06,865 - For m-all 55 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:09,824 [patriotic music] 56 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:13,829 ♪ ♪ 57 00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,788 [upbeat spacey music] 58 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:21,358 ♪ ♪ 59 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:27,234 - If you think about it, guns aren't the problem. 60 00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:29,366 The problem is that COVID is a hoax. 61 00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:32,413 - Fun fact, this is the TV studio 62 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,023 where the Nixon administration actually 63 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,416 faked the moon landing. 64 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,942 - I checked everywhere, lady. 65 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,423 There's nothing here. 66 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,947 - Then what about my shawl, my tea? 67 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,644 Why am I always cold? 68 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:49,473 - That's easy. 69 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,171 You have a draft. 70 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,434 - Blowing in this fall... 71 00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,000 [dramatic music] 72 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,524 - Who is she? 73 00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,917 - They call her the draft hunter. 74 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:01,616 Those slight breezes sneaking into people's buildings, 75 00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:04,706 making scores of white women cold. 76 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:05,489 She finds them... 77 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,667 And eliminates them. 78 00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:11,930 - Gotcha. 79 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:15,064 - We've checked the windows, hired an architect, 80 00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,458 maintenance guy, caulked every crevice 81 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,677 in the entire place-- - Shh! 82 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:23,072 What no one understands is that drafts are like people. 83 00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,161 They want to be found. 84 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,858 And with the right tools... 85 00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,036 They can be. 86 00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:34,910 [wind blowing] 87 00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:37,913 [tense music] 88 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:44,876 ♪ ♪ 89 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,404 - I knew there was a draft in here. 90 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,101 - Got you again. 91 00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:56,888 - I don't want to be on the precipice 92 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,891 of being uncomfortably chilly in my own home anymore. 93 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,545 - I know. I know you don't. 94 00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,852 Look, I'll find the draft, all right? 95 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,245 I'll find it. 96 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:09,249 I always do-- no matter what it costs me. 97 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,251 - Amy, stop it, please. 98 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,427 Please stop it. You've gone insane. 99 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,820 - There's a draft here, okay? I feel it. 100 00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:17,300 - It's 75 degrees in here. 101 00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,214 There's nothing-- don't tape that up. 102 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,261 Just stop and look at yourself. 103 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,306 You don't need two hands to hold that mug. 104 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,221 - Yes, I do. It's so cold. 105 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,701 - What is a draft hunter? 106 00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,224 It's not a superpower. It's useless! 107 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,139 - Maybe you're the draft. 108 00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,183 - That doesn't make sense, Amy! 109 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,490 - God, why don't you just leave, Garrett? 110 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,492 - Fine. - Please leave. 111 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,407 But make sure to really close the door, all right? 112 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,801 Because that's how drafts come. 113 00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,411 - Oh, fuck me. 114 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,587 What is your origin story, Amy? 115 00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:45,937 [voice echoing] 116 00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:51,073 - Get ready to blow out the candles, Amy. 117 00:04:51,159 --> 00:04:54,294 One, two, three. 118 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,344 - No one should be a little bit, 119 00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:04,956 not fully, but kind of chilly. 120 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,394 No one. 121 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,832 - "Draft Hunter." Thursdays on CBS. 122 00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,964 Right after "Y'all Smell That?" 123 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,792 [suspenseful music] 124 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,141 - [sniffs] 125 00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,665 Y'all smell that? 126 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,537 - This scene was my pitch. Georgie wrote it. 127 00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:23,932 And I think "Y'all Smell That" came from Yamaneika. 128 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,500 - When Yamaneika said, "Y'all smell that?" 129 00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:28,502 everyone was like, yes. That's the winner. 130 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,025 - Every time I hear "y'all smell that," 131 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,461 I better get paid. 132 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:35,204 [upbeat spacey music] 133 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:44,822 - Hi, I'm here to see the sleep guy, Dr. Zasmoore. 134 00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:45,823 Thank you. 135 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,569 - Oh, this is ridiculous. 136 00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:56,878 - Okay. 137 00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,793 I'm sick of having the same conversation 138 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,403 over and over again. 139 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:03,841 Who here has a question about sleep? 140 00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,582 If your question is, how can I sleep better, 141 00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:07,497 put your hand down. 142 00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:10,021 I'm just going to speak to you all at the same time, okay? 143 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,980 Because I've about had it. 144 00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,198 They figured out sleep. 145 00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,939 It's science. 146 00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:17,464 All you have to do to get an amazing night of sleep, 147 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:20,205 the best night of sleep of your life, is simple. 148 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:24,427 For the last hour you're awake, don't use your phone. 149 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,124 Okay? 150 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:28,126 Now, that's something you can all try. 151 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:29,432 - No. - No. 152 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,478 - No. - What? 153 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:32,870 - How about just the last 20 minutes 154 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,394 right before you go to bed? 155 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,005 - I really don't-- that's even worse. 156 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:39,355 - So it seems like sleep isn't really important to you. 157 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,444 - Sleep is the most important thing in my life. 158 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:42,967 I would take any pill. 159 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,883 I would have any surgery for a better night's sleep. 160 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,755 - Same. - Definitely, I would do that. 161 00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:51,454 - Okay, how about just the last five minutes that you're awake? 162 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:52,847 - No. 163 00:06:52,933 --> 00:06:55,153 - I really don't think so, Doctor. 164 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,287 - Like, maybe put your phone down, you go brush your teeth, 165 00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,332 use the toilet, go to bed. 166 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:04,206 - So you expect us to sit on the toilet without our phones, 167 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,338 like an Amish? - Yes. 168 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,428 - That's crazy. 169 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:11,343 - Just the last time you use it right before you go to bed. 170 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:15,043 - So what time of day do you recommend that I go on WebMD 171 00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:17,088 and look up what all my rashes mean? 172 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,394 - Yeah, when should he look up his rashes? 173 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:21,136 - Any time you want, 174 00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,791 up until right before the last hour 175 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,357 that you're awake. 176 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,750 - That doesn't work for me. 177 00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,012 - That's when you need it the most. 178 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:30,711 Like, that's weird. - This is sick. 179 00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:34,323 - Can I just turn the TV down, or the brightness down? 180 00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:35,933 - I'll do that now. - That's a good idea. 181 00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,935 I heard that really helps. - No, that won't help. No. 182 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,763 - Blue blockers? Does that work? Will that help? 183 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,505 - It really won't do anything, no. 184 00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:44,202 [all gasp] Hey! 185 00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:46,378 Maeve, we're going to need another wall. 186 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,989 - Yeah, so what about me? 187 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,512 Like, I'm a mom. 188 00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:50,948 So people like me, like, you know, 189 00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:52,558 we couldn't watch videos during the day, 190 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,430 so we need to watch them right before bedtime. 191 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:55,779 - Like, what videos? 192 00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:57,172 - Just something, like, you know, 193 00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,304 a plane going into the second tower, or... 194 00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:02,525 - Movies, like "Uncut 'Jahms'" 195 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,701 - Huh? - "Uncut 'Jahms.'" 196 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:05,920 - What? 197 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,225 - "Uncut 'Jahms.'" - Jahms! 198 00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:08,923 - "Uncut 'Jahms'"! - "Uncut 'Jahms.'" 199 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,491 "Uncut 'Jahms.'" - Okay. Okay. 200 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:14,711 Watch "Uncut 'Jahms'" three minutes 201 00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:17,148 before you go to sleep, and it will help. 202 00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,367 I promise you. 203 00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:19,847 - No. - Forget it. 204 00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:20,804 [all gasp] 205 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,461 - Nice. - Okay. 206 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:26,767 - What is that, some kind of secret dance? 207 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:27,855 - Yeah, okay. 208 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,291 So, like, I'm sorry. 209 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,380 But, like, I need my phone. 210 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:33,904 I need to be staring into the abyss of my phone. 211 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:35,950 I need to read something, because I'm eating. 212 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:40,389 - No eating two hours before you go to sleep. 213 00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:41,390 - What? 214 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,401 - "Uncut 'Jahms.'" 215 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:55,926 - [screaming] 216 00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,812 [TV playing indistinctly] 217 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,643 [laughing] 218 00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:29,177 - Am I going to stop looking at screens before I go to bed? 219 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,092 No. 220 00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,050 There are 58 episodes of "Love Island" in a season, 221 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,009 and only 24 hours in a day. 222 00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,358 You do the math. 223 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:39,230 [upbeat spacey music] 224 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:42,669 - Good afternoon. My name is Laura. 225 00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:43,931 This is Tim. 226 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:46,803 And we are from Raw Dog Advertising. 227 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:49,850 Thank you for allowing us to talk with you today. 228 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,156 Tim and I both worked in creative at Ogilvy, 229 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,984 and were very successful. 230 00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,682 - Hugely successful. 231 00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,727 Shaq and The General insurance? - Ours. 232 00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,424 - Shaq and Icy Hot? - Ours. 233 00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:00,817 - Almost anything with Shaq is ours. 234 00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,340 He's a personal friend. 235 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,342 - As you may know, we left Ogilvy 236 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,432 and started Raw Dog after our sexual affair. 237 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,217 - Right. Do we have any regrets? 238 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,784 Many. - Mm-hmm. 239 00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,524 - We destroyed our families, and Shaq is no longer 240 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,918 taking our calls, because we were friends through my wife. 241 00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,704 - But we're not here to talk about our sexual affair. 242 00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,967 - Or how many yards we need to stay away from Shaq. 243 00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:21,490 - So many. 244 00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:23,579 - We're here to talk about the future--your future. 245 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,755 In this ever-shifting marketplace, 246 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,670 Pillsbury needs to stay ahead of the curve. 247 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,454 - Or curves. 248 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,543 I'm sure you know lots of companies 249 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,503 are de-sexualizing their mascots. 250 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,940 Disney put Minnie Mouse in a pantsuit. 251 00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:42,467 Lola Bunny got a makeover for "Space Jam 2." 252 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,644 - We all remember the redesign of the green M&M. 253 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,515 - Oof. 254 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:49,300 How do these changes make everyone feel? 255 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,040 - Free to speak. 256 00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,869 - Feels like a step in the right direction. 257 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,392 - Yeah, I don't think it's a big deal. 258 00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:55,785 - Thanks for speaking, but you're wrong. 259 00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,395 It's an abomination. 260 00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,659 - My kids won't eat M&Ms for breakfast anymore. 261 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,486 - You feed your kids M&Ms for breakfast? 262 00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:03,140 - Not anymore. 263 00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:04,489 I am a single mom now because of the affair 264 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,230 we briefly mentioned. 265 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:09,973 And what I am doing now is listening and learning. 266 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,323 - And staying 50 yards away from Shaquille O'Neal. 267 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,021 - And his family. - Mm-hmm. 268 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:16,327 - Which brings us to our proposal. 269 00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,242 Our market research has revealed 270 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,550 the Pillsbury company should go in the exact... 271 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,117 both: Opposite. - Direction. 272 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,988 - Like salmon, doing what? 273 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,903 both: Swimming upstream. 274 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,558 - Say hello to the Pillsbury Doughbroad. 275 00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,429 - Mm! Boo-yah! 276 00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:34,737 - Don't you just want to eat her up like a slice of pie? 277 00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:37,697 Pie with an ass that just won't quit. 278 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:39,742 Oh, Sydney's into it. - No, I'm not. 279 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:41,439 I'm holding up my hand because I have a question. 280 00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,441 You're suggesting we get rid of Poppin' Fresh? 281 00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:44,486 - Who? - Who? 282 00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:46,009 - The Pillsbury Doughboy. 283 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,229 - He's been our mascot since 1964. 284 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,883 - '64. 285 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,754 That's eight years before Shaq was born. 286 00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,451 - Oh, crazy coincidence. 287 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,845 And no, keep the dough boy. 288 00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:57,194 This is his hot stepsister. 289 00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,544 And yes, they totally get it on. 290 00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:01,808 - I'm sorry, who exactly is this for? 291 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,592 - Me, for starters. I mean, look at her. 292 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:04,985 She's the perfect woman. 293 00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,943 She's sexy. She loves to cook. 294 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:08,684 And she's flexible. 295 00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:11,034 It's like dating a foxy Paula Deen. 296 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:14,037 - Men want her, women want to be her. 297 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:17,649 - I don't think women want to be a tiny dough person. 298 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,521 People love our mascot the way he is. 299 00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,392 - Do they? - Yes. 300 00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:24,004 - Ooh, because word on the street is, they do not. 301 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,527 - They don't. - What street? 302 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:26,746 - Roll the clip. 303 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,182 - Rolling. 304 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:31,185 [upbeat music] 305 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:38,105 ♪ ♪ 306 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:43,023 - Yeah. - Well, who's horny? 307 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,547 - Uh, Security, can you send someone up here? 308 00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:48,071 - So what do you guys say? - We'll think about it. 309 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:49,986 - Thinking is for nerds. Let's sign some contracts. 310 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,509 - Yeah. - We'll call you. 311 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:52,989 - Raw Dog's phones are presently 312 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,338 out of order right now. 313 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:55,818 We have some financial difficulty 314 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,037 due to this sexual affair. 315 00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,647 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 316 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,127 We've got a lot of great ideas. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 317 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:02,607 - Feast your eyes on Chef Boyar-Double-D. 318 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:05,828 - Ooh! She can get it. - Next slide. 319 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,612 The Keebler MILF. - You know what? I'm into that. 320 00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:09,266 - Next slide. 321 00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,007 Oh, the Jolly Green Va-giant. 322 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,314 - Shit. You know, I'm into that too. 323 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:14,532 You know what? 324 00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:15,969 I realize I'm into some fringe shit. 325 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,361 - You're just realizing that now? 326 00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:18,493 Okay. - Sorry. 327 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,408 This is just very wrong. 328 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,236 There's no reason to insert sex in food advertising. 329 00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,325 - Well, you're fired. - Get out. 330 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,457 - I'm the president of this company, 331 00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:27,937 and you need to leave. 332 00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:29,896 - Who do you think you are? Shaq? 333 00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,811 - Don't touch me. Dough is murder. 334 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,508 - "Kazaam"! 335 00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:35,815 - I don't want to reveal too much about the process, 336 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,774 but you just started Jolly Green Va-giant, 337 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,211 and the scene writes itself. 338 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:44,693 [upbeat spacey music] 339 00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,131 - Caring team. 340 00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:50,090 State of the art facilities. 341 00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:52,483 A new approach to health care. 342 00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,007 Places like the UK and Canada 343 00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,052 see health care as a human right. 344 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,401 But here, we see it 345 00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:00,056 as a thrilling adventure in not knowing. 346 00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,537 That's why we're the first hospital 347 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:06,149 where each patient's care is paid for entirely 348 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:08,717 by their ability to crowdsource money on the internet. 349 00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:11,720 Welcome to St. GoFundMe's. 350 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,462 [peaceful music] 351 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:16,594 - The whole thing with begging for money from strangers 352 00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:19,989 to stay alive was a horrible process to go through, 353 00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,773 that I would wish on no one. 354 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,907 But at the same time, I know that reading 355 00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:29,172 about my recovery online made some people go, "Aw." 356 00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:30,913 And that's what it's all about. 357 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,393 - While other health care institutions 358 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,352 might put their profits into medical research, 359 00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:38,486 we use ours for market research. 360 00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:41,184 We'll help you put together a fundraising page 361 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,969 that is compelling in a way that doesn't 362 00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,232 come off as, like, too needy. 363 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,364 - I was so close to hitting my goal, 364 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,801 but then that plane crashed into that petting zoo. 365 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,804 A St. GoFundMe's advisor helped me to figure out 366 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,591 how to get the attention back on my page. 367 00:14:56,678 --> 00:15:00,247 - The nurses were so amazing about keeping track 368 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,162 of how much money was in the account. 369 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:05,121 They made it clear that they couldn't remove the bullets 370 00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,557 until we hit that goal. 371 00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,342 Anyway, it was down to the wire, 372 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:11,301 but we raised the money after an Ava DuVernay retweet. 373 00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:13,825 I am paralyzed. 374 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,002 But not because of the gunshot wound, 375 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,004 because of the waiting. 376 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,831 - Our state of the art facilities 377 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,616 include a dedicated grief counselor 378 00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,835 to help those whose loved ones didn't make it 379 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,708 to the bank in time to donate; 380 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,188 a gifting room to send your 381 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,233 thank-you gifts to your donors, 382 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,932 depending on what level they donated at. 383 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:36,326 And an interfaith chapel to post your prayers to TikTok 384 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,850 in the hopes that some five-year-old toy unboxer 385 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,375 will pity you enough to smash that share button 386 00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,377 to save your burnt up wife. 387 00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:46,510 - We're proud to be named for Saint GoFundMe of Assisi. 388 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,643 He took in the poor and sick 389 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,688 and helped them get just better enough 390 00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,777 to fight over scraps of sourdough 391 00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,736 while the wealthy got drunk and watched 392 00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,564 at a comfortable distance. 393 00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,522 - I was going to put some of the money I inherited 394 00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,872 into lobbying for universal health care. 395 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,048 And then I thought, hey, you know, 396 00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:03,484 this is just like that, 397 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,094 but big tech gets a cut. 398 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,661 And I'm invested in that-- 399 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:09,185 in big tech. 400 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,752 - Saint GoFundMe's. 401 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,406 We really don't have to be the future 402 00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:13,711 of American health care. 403 00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:15,235 But we are. 404 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:20,588 ♪ ♪ 405 00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,068 The fuck's my car? 406 00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:25,375 [upbeat spacey music] 407 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:30,859 - All right, people. 408 00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,600 It's that time of the year again. 409 00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,776 Workplace harassment seminar. 410 00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,560 Obviously, I'm Bob, head of HR. 411 00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,780 And our lucky recruit today is the woman 412 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,000 you all know as the head of corporate events, Amy Simmons. 413 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,219 [applause] - [chuckles] Thank you. 414 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,004 - Now, Amy, we're going to run some scenarios. 415 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,483 And, everyone, just interact with her 416 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,181 as you normally would. 417 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,009 First scenario, Amy is running a meeting. 418 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,401 Amy. - Yes. Okay. 419 00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:54,970 Um, okay, so our new focus going forward 420 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:58,669 will be to celebrate 421 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:02,630 diversity. 422 00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:04,022 - What's that even say? 423 00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:05,675 It looks like she's writing in Hebrew. 424 00:17:05,762 --> 00:17:07,461 [laughter] 425 00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:08,723 - What would you say went wrong here? 426 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:09,984 Yes. 427 00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,551 - Amy can't spell. 428 00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:13,684 [laughter] 429 00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:15,338 - That is stupid, but no. 430 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,992 Carl made fun of Amy's handwriting, 431 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,387 making her feel uncomfortable in a work environment. 432 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,127 Not okay. 433 00:17:22,214 --> 00:17:23,954 - Yeah, and I would say that the Hebrew bit 434 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,348 was pretty pointed. 435 00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,262 - How so? 436 00:17:27,349 --> 00:17:30,484 - I'm Jewish. - Wow. 437 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,615 You do not look it. 438 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,400 - Um, what? 439 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,054 - No, I meant that as a compliment. 440 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,969 Anyway, let's keep moving. 441 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,667 Sheila, come on up. 442 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,582 You and Amy are going to have lunch together. 443 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:42,931 All right. 444 00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,980 - So Amy, are you going home for the holidays? 445 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,504 - I think so. 446 00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:53,202 We're really stressed about it. My family's nuts. 447 00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,247 - Because you're a Jew. 448 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,944 - Okay. [stammers] 449 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,728 I mean, that's crazy, right? 450 00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:02,168 - Oh, well, I mean, unwanted personal questions 451 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:04,300 can be annoying, but it's not bullying. 452 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:06,520 - No. She called me a Jew. 453 00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:09,131 Why is everyone fine with making fun of Jews? 454 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,481 - Let's move on. Thank you, Sheila. 455 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:13,222 Pam, come on up. 456 00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:16,007 Why don't you try to connect with Amy about her interests? 457 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,358 - Ah, okay. 458 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,708 So, um, hey, if you can swing it, 459 00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:23,319 I'd love to borrow a few thousand dollars, Shylock. 460 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,668 - Bob. 461 00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:27,410 - I mean, okay, um, I'll give you this. 462 00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:29,717 No, it's not nice to get someone's name wrong. 463 00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:32,589 But it's not illegal, at least not in America. 464 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:34,678 - No, that's not what the problem was. 465 00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:36,985 [knock at door] - How's it hanging, guys? 466 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:39,683 [applause] 467 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:42,599 - Well, if it isn't the Big Kahuna CEO himself. 468 00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,558 Chris, would you mind giving me a hand here? 469 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,342 - Yeah, sure. Why not? - All right. 470 00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:50,477 This is a closed door meeting between you, the CEO, and Amy. 471 00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:51,695 - Okay. 472 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:55,482 So Amy, I wanted to call you in here today 473 00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:59,138 to tell you what a wonderful employee you are. 474 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,488 - Uh... - Props. 475 00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,794 - Yeah. Thank you. That's so good to hear. 476 00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,884 - And I expect great things from you, kid. 477 00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:08,364 Okay? 478 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,497 - What? - Oh, he touched her. 479 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,629 He's not supposed to do that. - Yes. 480 00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:14,762 Unwanted physical touch is considered 481 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,807 one of the worst forms of workplace harassment. 482 00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:19,245 - Okay, this is so anti-Semitic, are you serious? 483 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:22,161 - Moving on, Annie. 484 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,293 Come on up. Could you stand up? 485 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,252 You are about to leave the building together. 486 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,079 It's raining outside. 487 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,516 Annie has an umbrella. 488 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,257 Amy does not. 489 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,432 So, Annie, yeah, if you could pretend to have an umbrella. 490 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:35,391 - So you have an Orthodox wig hat, 491 00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:36,305 but you don't have an umbrella? 492 00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:37,959 - Action. 493 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:39,439 - Hey, "Fiddler on the Roof." 494 00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,789 Can't you make it stop raining, you old Jew bag? 495 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,573 The Rothschilds control the weather. 496 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,707 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This is not good. 497 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,709 - Annie could have offered Amy her umbrella, 498 00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:51,755 but a lack of courtesy is not punishable by law. 499 00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,322 Sorry, Amy. 500 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,758 Does anyone want to freestyle a scenario? 501 00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:56,978 Thank you, Annie. Come on up, Sheila. 502 00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:57,979 Here we go. 503 00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,894 - Can I borrow a stapler? 504 00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,201 Jews are cheap and ugly. 505 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,768 - Why would you say that to me? - Oh, here comes the whining. 506 00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:06,161 - Wait a minute. 507 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,424 That's super anti-Semitic. 508 00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:10,339 - Fucking thank you-- oh, no, no. 509 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:11,732 That's okay. Don't worry about it. 510 00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:14,387 Especially you, of all people. [laughs] I mean... 511 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:16,127 Jews, are we a race? Are we a religion? 512 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,868 Like, who even wants to get into it? 513 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,435 It's nothing like what Black people have to go through. 514 00:20:19,522 --> 00:20:20,958 I shouldn't-- - Amy, Amy, please. 515 00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:22,003 It's okay. - No. 516 00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:23,961 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 517 00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:25,702 I'm sorry about Israel. 518 00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,617 I've never even been there, but I just-- 519 00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,489 I know I'm supposed to be sorry about it, 520 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:31,926 and I'm sorry that there are terrorist attacks there 521 00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:34,842 and that nobody wants to talk about them. 522 00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,104 I'm sorry about Bernie Madoff. 523 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,714 I'm sorry about Bernie Sanders. 524 00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,194 "Weekend at Bernie's." 525 00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:42,371 All the Bernie's, I'm sorry. 526 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,417 Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, everybody, 527 00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:46,462 [sobbing] I'm sorry I'm Jewish. 528 00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:52,338 I knew I wanted to tackle anti-Semitism 529 00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,688 because people love hearing about it. 530 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:58,561 ♪ ♪ 531 00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:01,260 Ladies and gentlemen, Ron Weiner. 532 00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:02,913 [upbeat music] 533 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,743 - ♪ In a monster mask, you could read a book ♪ 534 00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:10,878 ♪ In a monster mask, you could learn to cook ♪ 535 00:21:10,965 --> 00:21:14,882 ♪ In a monster mask, you could watch TV ♪ 536 00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:18,929 ♪ In a monster mask, you could climb a tree ♪ 537 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:22,759 ♪ But could you ever meet a girl ♪ 538 00:21:22,846 --> 00:21:26,546 ♪ And tell her that she means the world? ♪ 539 00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:29,026 ♪ ♪ 540 00:21:29,113 --> 00:21:34,728 ♪ Everyone feels like a monster sometimes ♪ 541 00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:36,773 ♪ ♪ 542 00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:43,693 ♪ Tell me why behind that monster mask you hide ♪ 543 00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:47,958 ♪ In a monster mask, you could hate yourself ♪ 544 00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:51,962 ♪ In a monster mask, you could blame yourself ♪ 545 00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:55,836 ♪ But there's one more thing that I have to ask ♪ 546 00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:59,448 ♪ Mr. Monster Man, could you please ♪ 547 00:21:59,535 --> 00:22:04,279 ♪ Take off the mask? ♪ 548 00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,326 [heartwarming music] 549 00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:10,546 Well, he took off the mask, 550 00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:14,768 and he never put it on again. 551 00:22:14,855 --> 00:22:18,902 And what a difference that adjustment made. 552 00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:21,557 Looking back, he often regretted 553 00:22:21,644 --> 00:22:23,342 all those wasted years before he learned 554 00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:27,433 to let his real self shine through and enjoy life. 555 00:22:29,696 --> 00:22:31,915 But then again, some people never learn 556 00:22:32,002 --> 00:22:34,918 to take off their monster mask. 557 00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:36,616 Have you? 558 00:22:36,703 --> 00:22:38,748 - I have to show you something. 559 00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:39,749 - Okay. 560 00:22:41,838 --> 00:22:43,492 Oh. 561 00:22:49,759 --> 00:22:51,848 You could have--that's great. 562 00:22:51,935 --> 00:22:53,415 I mean, you could have showed me that before, 563 00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:55,025 at the beginning, but that's good now too. 564 00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:57,593 [upbeat music] 565 00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:58,638 - [whispering] They get me. 566 00:23:00,596 --> 00:23:02,772 [laughing] Sorry. 567 00:23:02,859 --> 00:23:05,427 [objects clattering] 568 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:15,306 - My ex-wife bought that. 569 00:23:19,354 --> 00:23:22,052 [upbeat spacey music] 570 00:23:22,139 --> 00:23:29,016 ♪ ♪ 571 00:23:41,463 --> 00:23:43,247 It's so easy.