1
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:06,992
Did we just wake up
at the exact same time?
2
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,726
I think we did.
3
00:00:09,085 --> 00:00:10,734
We are totally in sync,
4
00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:12,007
even when we're asleep.
5
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,591
We're cuter than otters.
6
00:00:15,173 --> 00:00:17,598
And I thought marriage
was gonna be terrible.
7
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,934
You don't need to say
that every morning.
8
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,108
Well, I love that I can share
my every thought with you.
9
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,205
You can.
10
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,071
But maybe sometimes
you shouldn't.
11
00:00:27,242 --> 00:00:28,594
For instance, the other day,
12
00:00:28,682 --> 00:00:31,197
when you were telling me that
my arms were getting flabby.
13
00:00:31,285 --> 00:00:32,374
Oh. I just said that 'cause
14
00:00:32,462 --> 00:00:33,982
I didn't want
to push you up that hill.
15
00:00:34,462 --> 00:00:37,321
So you weren't being mean,
you were being lazy.
16
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,935
Can't I be both?
17
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,266
Better than anyone.
18
00:00:40,368 --> 00:00:41,579
Mm.
19
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,227
What do you have planned today?
20
00:00:43,315 --> 00:00:44,415
Oh, let's see.
21
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,085
I'm gonna take your shirts
to the dry cleaner's,
22
00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:48,891
fix Mr. Munson's freezer
and... oh, yeah,
23
00:00:48,987 --> 00:00:50,423
officially take your last name.
24
00:00:50,511 --> 00:00:51,992
What's wrong with his freezer?
25
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,062
I think you missed the headline.
26
00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:56,628
No, I heard you. But our
freezer's been acting weird.
27
00:00:56,716 --> 00:00:58,087
Could be the same thing.
28
00:00:58,175 --> 00:01:01,204
Adam, I have an appointment
at the Social Security office,
29
00:01:01,292 --> 00:01:03,407
where I will fill out
a government form.
30
00:01:03,495 --> 00:01:04,548
After 22 years,
31
00:01:04,636 --> 00:01:06,923
I am allowing myself
to show up on the grid.
32
00:01:07,011 --> 00:01:08,657
I know.
That's a big step for you.
33
00:01:08,745 --> 00:01:10,655
Yeah. Especially since
there's a small chance
34
00:01:10,743 --> 00:01:11,899
I might be arrested.
35
00:01:11,987 --> 00:01:14,842
And if you do, I can't be
forced to testify against you,
36
00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:15,868
because I'm your husband.
37
00:01:15,956 --> 00:01:18,772
That right there, that's why
I want to be Bonnie Janikowski.
38
00:01:18,881 --> 00:01:21,882
Cool. And keep me posted
on that freezer thing.
39
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,899
Why are you acting like this
isn't hugely important to you?
40
00:01:27,002 --> 00:01:28,500
Whatever makes you happy,
Bonnie.
41
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,079
It really doesn't matter to me.
42
00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:33,024
Well, it matters to me
and I'm doing it.
43
00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:39,540
Smooth.
44
00:01:43,213 --> 00:01:44,294
Hey.
45
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,467
No time.
46
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,610
All you had to do
is say "hey" back.
47
00:01:47,698 --> 00:01:49,954
I don't have time
for "Hey, hey."
48
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,893
My boss thinks 15 minutes
early is five minutes late,
49
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,984
and I still haven't finished
proofreading those contracts.
50
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,296
Ah. I would've read
those last night,
51
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,704
so I'd be prepared for work
and be able to give my mother
52
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:00,218
the cheery good morning
she deserves.
53
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,704
Veronica kept me
at the office till 2:00 a.m.
54
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:04,813
She never gets tired.
55
00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:06,450
She's like a machine
that runs on yelling
56
00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,552
and very expensive goat yogurt.
57
00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:10,360
Well, whatever you do,
58
00:02:10,448 --> 00:02:12,446
- just don't pull a Christy.
- What's that mean?
59
00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:14,574
You know, try hard for a
little while and then quit.
60
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,344
How is that pulling a Christy?
61
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,498
I finished college,
I'm in law school,
62
00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:20,154
- I work three...
- Oh, God, don't do the list.
63
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,600
- Hey!
- Hey! See?
64
00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:22,875
There was time.
65
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,025
The point is
I am not gonna quit this.
66
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,293
She is a senior partner.
67
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,628
Her name is on the building.
68
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:28,862
If I do a good job,
69
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,727
maybe she hires me
when I graduate.
70
00:02:30,815 --> 00:02:32,229
Before you know it, I'm a judge
71
00:02:32,374 --> 00:02:34,534
and then eventually a
Supreme Court justice.
72
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:36,358
They seem okay with
alcoholics now,
73
00:02:36,446 --> 00:02:38,391
so I could actually have a shot.
74
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,375
*MOM*
Season 07 Episode 03
75
00:02:58,462 --> 00:03:00,094
*MOM*
Episode Title :"Goat Yogurt and Ample Parking"
76
00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,334
Wow.
77
00:03:18,545 --> 00:03:20,742
That was all kinds of bad idea.
78
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,072
Well, sorry, heart.
79
00:03:23,398 --> 00:03:24,656
Christy!
80
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,266
- Coming.
- Christy!
81
00:03:26,354 --> 00:03:27,461
- Coming.
- Christy!
82
00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:28,863
- Coming.
- Christy!
83
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,646
- Coming.
- What took you so long?
84
00:03:31,734 --> 00:03:34,985
Uh, I was, uh... I'm sorry.
I had to adjust my skirt.
85
00:03:35,073 --> 00:03:36,883
This zipper just wants
to be in the front.
86
00:03:36,971 --> 00:03:39,266
I need you to confirm
my lunch at Malone's.
87
00:03:39,354 --> 00:03:42,638
Also, pull the files
on the Onyx Merger.
88
00:03:42,726 --> 00:03:44,664
I need you
to get my car detailed.
89
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:47,272
Don't take it to the
place I don't like.
90
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,133
Come on.
91
00:03:48,221 --> 00:03:52,311
Pick up my prescription at the
pharmacy and get those cucumbers
92
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,136
out of my lemon water.
Malone's, Onyx,
93
00:03:54,223 --> 00:03:55,260
cucumbers, prescription.
Schedule a
94
00:03:55,347 --> 00:03:56,439
meeting for Thursday
with Thad Edwards.
95
00:03:56,526 --> 00:03:57,703
Thad, Thursday.
96
00:03:57,791 --> 00:03:59,475
Check the court calendar
to see which judge I landed
97
00:03:59,562 --> 00:04:00,383
in the Higgins case.
98
00:04:00,471 --> 00:04:02,850
If it's Barris, text me;
if it's Johnson,
99
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:05,789
file for an extension;
if it's Clarke, kill me now.
100
00:04:06,097 --> 00:04:09,036
Can you just say all that again
into my phone?
101
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,357
No!
102
00:04:13,563 --> 00:04:14,842
Got it.
103
00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:17,742
Hi, Ken.
104
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,096
Oh.
105
00:04:20,183 --> 00:04:23,065
Hello, young lady.
106
00:04:23,152 --> 00:04:25,067
I've been waiting
for that all day.
107
00:04:25,154 --> 00:04:27,281
Oh, look at those legs.
108
00:04:27,371 --> 00:04:29,786
Mmm. All the way
to the floor.
109
00:04:29,874 --> 00:04:31,522
Hey, hey.
You missed your chance.
110
00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:32,625
I'm married now.
111
00:04:32,713 --> 00:04:34,060
Ah, well, so am I.
112
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:37,930
Uh, it makes it more exciting.
113
00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:40,696
You know, I can hear you!
114
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:45,235
The only thing that still works
on her is the ears!
115
00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:48,571
So, what you got?
116
00:04:48,659 --> 00:04:49,406
Five shirts.
117
00:04:49,494 --> 00:04:51,469
All right.
The last name Plunkett.
118
00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:54,129
Actually, I'm on my way
to the Social Security office
119
00:04:54,217 --> 00:04:56,884
where I will officially become
Bonnie Janikowski.
120
00:04:57,608 --> 00:04:59,037
Sheesh.
121
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,686
So, J-A-N-E...
122
00:05:02,774 --> 00:05:05,410
- No. J-A-N-I-K...
- L-Let's
123
00:05:05,498 --> 00:05:08,076
- slow-slow down.
J-A-N-E...
124
00:05:08,164 --> 00:05:10,046
No. J-N-I-K...
125
00:05:10,134 --> 00:05:13,083
Wait. J-A-N-I-K...
126
00:05:13,171 --> 00:05:15,186
Wait, are-are you sure
there's no "C"?
127
00:05:15,905 --> 00:05:18,921
Well, now I'm not.
All right, uh, uh...
128
00:05:19,008 --> 00:05:21,561
- Give me a pen. I got to write this down.
- All right.
129
00:05:21,759 --> 00:05:23,303
Uh...
130
00:05:24,814 --> 00:05:26,420
None of this looks right.
131
00:05:27,151 --> 00:05:30,419
Okay, there.
I think that's it.
132
00:05:31,393 --> 00:05:33,745
Oh. So there is a "C"?
133
00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:39,526
Damn it, just leave it Plunkett.
134
00:05:41,162 --> 00:05:43,034
No. Disabuse your
client of the notion
135
00:05:43,128 --> 00:05:44,980
he is going to walk away
from this thing with anything
136
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:46,198
that even resembles a win.
137
00:05:46,286 --> 00:05:48,201
It's over and everyone
knows it but you!
138
00:05:48,289 --> 00:05:49,409
Hanging up!
139
00:05:50,044 --> 00:05:51,724
Hang it up!
140
00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:54,706
I love watching you work.
141
00:05:54,794 --> 00:05:57,743
Ugh, well, that's creepy.
Take these.
142
00:05:58,180 --> 00:05:59,714
Where is my prescription?
143
00:05:59,802 --> 00:06:01,651
Oh, um, right here.
144
00:06:01,768 --> 00:06:03,799
The pharmacist said
to take them with a...
145
00:06:03,886 --> 00:06:06,802
Yeah, I know how to take them.
You want one? You want one.
146
00:06:07,690 --> 00:06:08,760
What is it?
147
00:06:08,848 --> 00:06:10,296
Adderall. We're all on it.
148
00:06:10,384 --> 00:06:12,299
Get on it.
You're sluggish.
149
00:06:12,528 --> 00:06:16,964
Oh. No, thank you,
but thank you, but no.
150
00:06:17,206 --> 00:06:18,346
You sure?
151
00:06:18,434 --> 00:06:19,464
Yeah.
152
00:06:19,552 --> 00:06:20,552
Then get out!
153
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:21,829
- Get out!
- O-Okay.
154
00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,292
Get out! Get out!
Okay.
155
00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:25,380
- Okay.
- Get out!
156
00:06:29,018 --> 00:06:30,628
Do I seem sluggish to you?
157
00:06:30,716 --> 00:06:32,549
Uh, today or every day?
158
00:06:32,647 --> 00:06:34,440
Eh, it doesn't matter.
Yes to both.
159
00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:37,589
My boss and everyone else
in the building is on uppers,
160
00:06:37,677 --> 00:06:39,175
which is not safe, or fair.
161
00:06:39,288 --> 00:06:40,628
How am I supposed to compete?
162
00:06:40,716 --> 00:06:42,604
Sounds like someone's
about to pull a Christy.
163
00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:45,164
No, I'm not,
and stop calling it that.
164
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,357
Hey, babe.
165
00:06:47,445 --> 00:06:49,627
I'm at the grocery store.
Do you need anything?
166
00:06:49,715 --> 00:06:51,263
- I'm good.
- Ooh.
167
00:06:51,351 --> 00:06:52,940
Can you get some strawberries
for my boss?
168
00:06:53,027 --> 00:06:55,042
But not the big ones,
the little tiny sweet ones.
169
00:06:55,143 --> 00:06:56,807
She had them
last spring in Capri,
170
00:06:56,906 --> 00:06:58,620
and they were
apparently magical.
171
00:06:58,708 --> 00:07:00,422
I'll do my best.
172
00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,527
You know he's just gonna
get you raspberries.
173
00:07:02,614 --> 00:07:03,816
She's right.
174
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:07,138
How was the Social Security office,
Mrs. Janikowski?
175
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,707
It was great.
176
00:07:08,951 --> 00:07:11,367
The line moved quickly,
there was ample parking,
177
00:07:11,454 --> 00:07:14,069
and, uh, I made friends
with a woman from Kuala Lumpur.
178
00:07:14,156 --> 00:07:15,780
Awesome. See you at home.
179
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,167
Bye. Love you.
180
00:07:17,743 --> 00:07:19,290
Look at you,
181
00:07:19,393 --> 00:07:21,476
changing your name legally
for once.
182
00:07:21,564 --> 00:07:23,245
Yeah, I didn't do it.
183
00:07:23,332 --> 00:07:24,413
What?
184
00:07:24,566 --> 00:07:26,527
You just lied
to your brand-new husband?
185
00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:28,100
I rescheduled, so technically
186
00:07:28,188 --> 00:07:30,777
I just pre-told him
tomorrow's truth.
187
00:07:31,301 --> 00:07:33,558
What about the woman
from Kuala Lumpur?
188
00:07:33,651 --> 00:07:35,633
Well, it might happen.
I'm a friendly person.
189
00:07:36,762 --> 00:07:38,660
Another lie. Why didn't you go?
190
00:07:38,748 --> 00:07:41,749
Eh, it just didn't feel like
a good day to become Polish.
191
00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:46,898
Bonnie, your turn to sweep.
I pass.
192
00:07:47,157 --> 00:07:48,598
You can't pass.
193
00:07:48,686 --> 00:07:50,601
It's a hard pass.
194
00:07:50,852 --> 00:07:52,452
Fine, I'll do it.
195
00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:58,138
What are you doing?
196
00:07:58,226 --> 00:07:59,730
Sweeping.
197
00:08:00,202 --> 00:08:01,363
Yeah, I have three maids.
198
00:08:01,451 --> 00:08:03,230
I don't think so.
199
00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:06,543
Who taught you how to do that,
a cartoon mouse?
200
00:08:07,808 --> 00:08:09,191
What's wrong with
what I'm doing?
201
00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:11,192
Oh, good Lord,
give me that broom.
202
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,736
I hate her,
I hate her, I hate her.
203
00:08:20,823 --> 00:08:23,383
Your mom's already
here. Who is it?
204
00:08:23,831 --> 00:08:26,238
The other most toxic person
on the planet.
205
00:08:26,328 --> 00:08:28,744
Hey, Veronica.
What can I do for you?
206
00:08:28,831 --> 00:08:30,045
Uh-huh.
207
00:08:31,082 --> 00:08:32,933
I am on it.
208
00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:36,166
I can't go to the bistro.
209
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,152
I got to go run an errand
for my boss.
210
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,855
She needs you to score
more pills?
211
00:08:39,943 --> 00:08:41,124
No.
212
00:08:41,683 --> 00:08:43,238
She needs pot.
213
00:08:43,642 --> 00:08:46,361
Yes, that's right.
I am leaving an A.A. meeting
214
00:08:46,449 --> 00:08:47,519
to go buy pot.
215
00:08:47,607 --> 00:08:48,879
Seriously?
216
00:08:49,051 --> 00:08:50,286
You know,
my guy Earl used to work
217
00:08:50,373 --> 00:08:51,573
under the Third Street Bridge.
218
00:08:51,681 --> 00:08:53,926
He'll hook you up pretty good
if he's still alive.
219
00:08:54,049 --> 00:08:56,865
It's okay. She wants me to go
to her dispensary.
220
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,082
Ooh, I've never been to
one of those. I want to go!
221
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:01,589
- This'll be fun!
- I'll come, too.
222
00:09:01,677 --> 00:09:02,698
Road trip!
223
00:09:02,786 --> 00:09:04,223
Tammy, it's four blocks away.
224
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,393
Super short road trip!
225
00:09:07,293 --> 00:09:08,702
She's in your car.
226
00:09:17,481 --> 00:09:20,284
Why are we buying pot
in an Apple Store?
227
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,442
This is a lot different
than Earl's bridge.
228
00:09:23,654 --> 00:09:25,569
I don't like it.
Where's the shame?
229
00:09:25,656 --> 00:09:26,904
Where's the danger?
230
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,524
Hi. I'm DJ.
231
00:09:28,612 --> 00:09:29,707
How may I help you?
232
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,244
I have to buy pot for my friend.
233
00:09:33,464 --> 00:09:34,878
Your "friend"?
234
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:36,314
Ladies, it's legal.
235
00:09:36,402 --> 00:09:38,384
You can come out
from the shadows.
236
00:09:41,839 --> 00:09:43,510
This place smells like
nursing school.
237
00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:44,845
Like high school.
238
00:09:44,933 --> 00:09:46,659
Her womb.
239
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,036
Let's not get too excited.
240
00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:51,206
We're just here
for moral support.
241
00:09:51,595 --> 00:09:54,510
Man, those are some fat buds.
242
00:09:55,222 --> 00:09:56,839
That's Jolly Green Giant.
243
00:09:56,927 --> 00:09:58,108
We grow it in-house.
244
00:09:58,196 --> 00:10:00,044
It's a really nice
indica sativa hybrid,
245
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,432
about 30% THC.
246
00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:06,885
Wow, we've come a long way from
247
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:09,745
"Here's what might
be weed in a bag."
248
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,496
Would you like to
meet the plants?
249
00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:13,182
Ooh, I would like
to meet the plants.
250
00:10:13,437 --> 00:10:16,065
I would like to do
terrible things to them.
251
00:10:16,153 --> 00:10:17,301
We don't smoke.
252
00:10:17,526 --> 00:10:19,775
Gotcha. Let me show
you the edibles.
253
00:10:20,011 --> 00:10:23,260
Cookies, cereal, crackers,
pretzel bites, sodas.
254
00:10:23,571 --> 00:10:25,586
This isn't fair.
They legalized pot
255
00:10:25,674 --> 00:10:27,656
and put it in all
my favorite snacks!
256
00:10:27,985 --> 00:10:30,980
Oh, honey, it doesn't matter
what it's in. It's...
257
00:10:31,137 --> 00:10:32,690
Holy crap,
it's in salad dressing!
258
00:10:32,778 --> 00:10:34,674
Somebody physically restrain me.
259
00:10:34,891 --> 00:10:36,706
I'm sure you get
this question all the time.
260
00:10:36,794 --> 00:10:40,487
I'm sober. If I rub
this CBD oil on my husband
261
00:10:40,575 --> 00:10:43,609
and I somehow...
ingest it,
262
00:10:43,697 --> 00:10:46,346
is that technically a relapse
263
00:10:46,434 --> 00:10:49,120
or just a great way
to handle my joint pain?
264
00:10:49,507 --> 00:10:51,755
Uh, I've never gotten
that question before.
265
00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:55,125
Not worth the risk. I'll stick
with whipped cream and Advil.
266
00:10:55,432 --> 00:10:58,620
Okay, um, I need an eighth
of Laughing Buddha,
267
00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:01,991
two packs of pre-rolled
Skywalker O.G.,
268
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,527
and breath strips.
269
00:11:03,854 --> 00:11:06,143
Wait, I'm probably supposed
to get that from the pharmacy.
270
00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:08,362
No, we have those here.
With pot in them?
271
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,885
I'm gonna saveyou some time.
272
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:13,799
Everything in this room
has pot in it. Including me.
273
00:11:16,839 --> 00:11:18,182
What about this bag?
274
00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:19,269
It's made of hemp.
275
00:11:19,371 --> 00:11:20,292
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
276
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,831
I want to buy that bag.
I'm allowed to buy that bag.
277
00:11:23,732 --> 00:11:26,448
Oh, check it out.
This one's on sale.
278
00:11:26,543 --> 00:11:27,724
Pot goes on sale?
279
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:30,349
I used to have to do things
to get a discount.
280
00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:33,019
Fortunately,
Earl was not bad-looking.
281
00:11:33,107 --> 00:11:36,257
For someone who slept
in a shopping cart.
282
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:37,830
Here you go.
283
00:11:37,918 --> 00:11:39,440
Since you're
a first-time customer,
284
00:11:39,528 --> 00:11:42,038
throw in some gummy bears
and lollipops.
285
00:11:42,526 --> 00:11:45,253
And when you say
"gummy bears and lollipops..."
286
00:11:45,341 --> 00:11:46,489
Yes, they have pot in them.
287
00:11:46,577 --> 00:11:48,677
Son of a biscuit!
288
00:11:51,665 --> 00:11:53,213
Mmm.
289
00:11:53,472 --> 00:11:55,854
You're not a bowl of
marijuana-infused Cheerios,
290
00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:57,714
but you're still pretty good.
291
00:11:58,289 --> 00:12:01,057
That was fun,
but I'd never do it again.
292
00:12:01,145 --> 00:12:03,016
They make it look all
happy-happy, joy-joy,
293
00:12:03,104 --> 00:12:04,582
which makes it hard to remember
that for me
294
00:12:04,669 --> 00:12:07,052
it led to
crappy-crappy, sad-sad.
295
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:08,447
Me, too.
296
00:12:08,535 --> 00:12:10,484
And now that it's legal,
I can't go anywhere
297
00:12:10,572 --> 00:12:13,888
without walking through a cloud
of that sweet, sweet odor.
298
00:12:14,077 --> 00:12:16,511
It's true.
It's everywhere now.
299
00:12:16,794 --> 00:12:17,987
So is alcohol.
300
00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:19,857
Yeah, but I don't
walk down the sidewalk
301
00:12:19,945 --> 00:12:22,354
and get a glass of wine
thrown in my face.
302
00:12:22,816 --> 00:12:24,602
One time Jell-O, but to be fair,
303
00:12:24,690 --> 00:12:28,073
I was... I was pretty mean
to that little boy.
304
00:12:29,354 --> 00:12:31,043
Maybe you'll be a nicer person
305
00:12:31,131 --> 00:12:33,179
when you become
Bonnie Janikowski.
306
00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:35,049
Not likely.
307
00:12:35,245 --> 00:12:37,120
Oh, yeah, you did that today.
308
00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:38,862
No, she did not.
309
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:42,604
Oh. Oops, did I let that slip?
310
00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:44,835
Why?
311
00:12:44,922 --> 00:12:46,128
I don't, I don't know.
312
00:12:46,216 --> 00:12:47,764
Something about it
didn't feel right.
313
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,846
Maybe it's 'cause you're so old.
314
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:51,836
What are you doing?
315
00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:54,831
This is a violent woman
with a long reach.
316
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,202
I just mean
when a 25-year-old woman
317
00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:59,239
changes her name,
it's no big deal.
318
00:12:59,381 --> 00:13:02,297
But it's much harder for someone
in their twilight years.
319
00:13:02,385 --> 00:13:05,653
Oh, just go on and hit her.
She's asking for it.
320
00:13:07,504 --> 00:13:09,690
It kills me to say this,
but Wendy has a point.
321
00:13:09,778 --> 00:13:11,729
I've been Bonnie Plunkett
my whole life.
322
00:13:11,817 --> 00:13:14,182
And something's telling me
I should stay that way.
323
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,198
Mm. Honey, if you're
this conflicted,
324
00:13:16,286 --> 00:13:17,893
you should talk to Adam.
325
00:13:18,122 --> 00:13:20,292
Don't forget to tell him
you lied earlier.
326
00:13:20,775 --> 00:13:22,143
Oops.
327
00:13:22,643 --> 00:13:24,604
Why the hell
don't you just hyphenate?
328
00:13:24,692 --> 00:13:27,993
Bonnie Plunkett-Janikowski?
What am I, the alphabet?
329
00:13:32,148 --> 00:13:35,229
I just talked to
Thad's assistant Chad...
330
00:13:35,906 --> 00:13:37,424
Yes, you heard that right.
331
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:40,690
Uh, they're running late,
so you have some time.
332
00:13:41,694 --> 00:13:44,151
You're not yelling at me.
Are you okay?
333
00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:50,167
Oh. Aren't you pretty.
334
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,456
What you got going on there?
335
00:13:54,887 --> 00:13:58,276
I was feeling kind of tired,
so I took extra Adderall.
336
00:13:58,364 --> 00:13:59,534
Then I felt jumpy,
337
00:13:59,622 --> 00:14:01,089
so I ate a couple pot gummies.
338
00:14:01,177 --> 00:14:03,471
Then I forgot I ate the gummies,
so I ate more gummies.
339
00:14:06,709 --> 00:14:09,823
Chad and Thad... I just got that.
340
00:14:12,742 --> 00:14:15,892
I may not be able
to handle this meeting.
341
00:14:16,611 --> 00:14:18,799
Do you have makeup remover
342
00:14:18,887 --> 00:14:22,549
or a hat with a veil?
343
00:14:23,432 --> 00:14:27,158
This is my first gummy bear experience,
and it's not good.
344
00:14:27,510 --> 00:14:28,565
Here are my takeaways.
345
00:14:28,653 --> 00:14:31,065
A: Don't eat nine.
346
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:34,276
B: I'm gonna die.
347
00:14:35,861 --> 00:14:37,880
Maybe I should
reschedule the meeting.
348
00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:40,721
No. We need
this client because...
349
00:14:41,071 --> 00:14:43,287
this firm is in trouble.
350
00:14:43,374 --> 00:14:45,222
We are this close to bankruptcy,
351
00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:47,516
and we just spent a lot of money
on new chairs.
352
00:14:47,604 --> 00:14:49,571
It was so dumb.
353
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,532
Veronica, this is a classic
354
00:14:53,676 --> 00:14:56,192
"too high slash panic attack"
situation.
355
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,295
Yep, yep, that feels right.
356
00:14:57,382 --> 00:14:59,342
Open that window.
I want to jump out.
357
00:15:01,174 --> 00:15:03,656
Look in my eyes
and repeat after me:
358
00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:05,798
I am okay.
359
00:15:05,963 --> 00:15:07,953
You are okay.
360
00:15:08,499 --> 00:15:10,817
No, you are okay.
361
00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:13,199
No, you are okay.
362
00:15:13,449 --> 00:15:16,676
I am trying to get you
to say "I am okay."
363
00:15:16,812 --> 00:15:20,095
But I am so not okay,
and I'll never be okay!
364
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:23,894
All right!
I'm gonna have to slap you.
365
00:15:24,277 --> 00:15:25,981
Do it!
366
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:35,253
Ugh! I can't!
I can't slap my boss!
367
00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:36,544
Do it!
368
00:15:36,632 --> 00:15:37,615
Say something mean.
369
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,017
Tell me
I'm a terrible assistant.
370
00:15:39,276 --> 00:15:41,836
Tell you? I thought
you already knew.
371
00:15:45,336 --> 00:15:47,136
Hey! That helped!
372
00:15:47,224 --> 00:15:49,347
Let's go again!
373
00:15:50,918 --> 00:15:52,503
I'm not high!
374
00:15:58,384 --> 00:16:00,666
Ah, damn it, you're home.
375
00:16:02,186 --> 00:16:04,519
Oh, we're just telling
each other the truth now?
376
00:16:05,509 --> 00:16:07,558
Okay, your hair is ridiculous.
377
00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:10,956
No, I got you a gift, and I
wanted to surprise you with it.
378
00:16:11,044 --> 00:16:13,226
And-and what-what's wrong
with my hair?
379
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,212
It looks like
it's trying to escape.
380
00:16:15,299 --> 00:16:16,832
Give me my present.
381
00:16:18,183 --> 00:16:21,223
I ordered us a new welcome mat
that says "The Janikowskis"
382
00:16:21,311 --> 00:16:22,725
'cause that's who we are now.
383
00:16:23,722 --> 00:16:25,396
That is...
384
00:16:25,498 --> 00:16:26,855
so sweet.
385
00:16:27,095 --> 00:16:28,175
Yeah.
386
00:16:28,294 --> 00:16:30,847
And yet I feel
I don't deserve it.
387
00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:32,229
Why not?
388
00:16:32,722 --> 00:16:35,283
Because only one of us
is a Janikowski.
389
00:16:36,682 --> 00:16:39,581
I didn't, uh, go to the
Social Security office.
390
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,206
You lied to me?
391
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:45,260
Well, I thought I was telling
you today's truth yesterday.
392
00:16:46,055 --> 00:16:48,417
I-I can see why you're confused.
393
00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:51,011
So... what happened?
394
00:16:51,863 --> 00:16:55,027
I just have this little
voice saying, "Don't do it."
395
00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:58,321
The-the thing is, I-I hated
being Bonnie Plunkett
396
00:16:58,409 --> 00:16:59,605
for most of my life.
397
00:16:59,693 --> 00:17:03,143
I was a drunk, a-a thief,
a terrible mother.
398
00:17:03,414 --> 00:17:05,488
I-I felt worthless and broken.
399
00:17:05,576 --> 00:17:08,225
But then I did all
this work on myself,
400
00:17:08,313 --> 00:17:09,993
and I finally love
Bonnie Plunkett,
401
00:17:10,081 --> 00:17:12,699
and I just, I'm not
ready to let her go.
402
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,172
Wow.
403
00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:16,956
I had no idea you felt that way.
404
00:17:17,044 --> 00:17:18,592
I didn't either.
405
00:17:18,684 --> 00:17:20,665
I'm sorry. I know this
was important to you.
406
00:17:20,753 --> 00:17:22,702
And don't say it wasn't,
because you clearly paid
407
00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:25,199
for expedited shipping
on that welcome mat.
408
00:17:26,429 --> 00:17:28,769
It was only three dollars more.
409
00:17:29,176 --> 00:17:32,032
I... I just wanted
the whole world to know
410
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,123
that we're a family.
411
00:17:34,645 --> 00:17:37,402
Why would you say
something like that?
412
00:17:37,659 --> 00:17:38,794
What?
413
00:17:38,882 --> 00:17:41,308
So sweet.
Now I'm waffling again.
414
00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:42,956
No, no, no, no, no,
don't waffle.
415
00:17:43,044 --> 00:17:44,640
You finally love
Bonnie Plunkett,
416
00:17:44,728 --> 00:17:47,191
and I've always loved
Bonnie Plunkett, so...
417
00:17:47,948 --> 00:17:49,597
stay Bonnie Plunkett.
418
00:17:51,126 --> 00:17:54,127
All right,
but I'm doing this for you.
419
00:17:56,101 --> 00:17:58,995
And, hey, this doesn't mean
we can't have a welcome mat
420
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:00,231
that says "The Janikowskis."
421
00:18:00,319 --> 00:18:02,634
At the very least,
you and Gus are Janikowskis.
422
00:18:03,855 --> 00:18:06,191
Gus's last name is Wooferton.
423
00:18:09,069 --> 00:18:12,152
Let's just put out the mat.
I'm sure he won't complain.
424
00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:18,382
"The Jackinowskis."
425
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:21,667
Everyone always wants
to put a "C" in it.
426
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:28,324
- Hey.
- Hey. How was work?
427
00:18:28,435 --> 00:18:30,527
Excellent, thanks to you.
428
00:18:30,615 --> 00:18:32,220
- Really?
- Yeah.
429
00:18:32,308 --> 00:18:33,745
I saved my boss's ass
430
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:36,206
when she got way too high
and freaked out.
431
00:18:37,136 --> 00:18:39,527
You are really good at that.
Did you have to slap her?
432
00:18:40,066 --> 00:18:42,861
Yep. But just like you,
she hit back.
433
00:18:42,949 --> 00:18:43,957
But...
434
00:18:44,045 --> 00:18:45,450
I sobered her up enough
for her meeting,
435
00:18:45,538 --> 00:18:47,273
and now I get to go to court
with her tomorrow.
436
00:18:47,361 --> 00:18:49,324
Mostly to carry her yogurt,
but still.
437
00:18:49,412 --> 00:18:51,294
Congratulations!
438
00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,347
So now with the way
this turned out,
439
00:18:53,435 --> 00:18:55,518
can sticking with it
and persevering
440
00:18:55,606 --> 00:18:57,095
and getting huge
success be called...
441
00:18:57,182 --> 00:18:59,433
Pulling a Bonnie Plunkett?
Yes, it can.
442
00:18:59,521 --> 00:19:02,203
Captioning sponsored by CBS and
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION and TOYOTA.
443
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,791
Sync corrections by srjanapala