1 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,404 Hi. Christy, alcoholic. 2 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:06,173 ALL: Hi, Christy. 3 00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,108 I can't help thinking 4 00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:10,711 where I was Christmas five years ago. 5 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:14,648 I mean, I-I've really thought about it and... 6 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,787 I literally don't know where I was. 7 00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,657 But if any of you were there, maybe you could help me 8 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,193 piece it together or my deepest apology, 9 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,128 whichever applies. Thanks. 10 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:33,066 Hi, I'm Marjorie and I'm an alcoholic. 11 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,635 ALL: Hi, Marjorie. 12 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:38,972 This is a difficult holiday with Victor being sick, 13 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,475 and, uh, 14 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,611 I know I need to focus on him, 15 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,713 so I'm sad to say 16 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:49,049 that I won't be able to host my annual Christmas cookie party. 17 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,818 ALL: Aw. Of course I'm disappointed... 18 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:54,021 Good thing we're in a meeting so we can manage our grief. 19 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,989 Shh. Yeah, shh. 20 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,795 I love this meeting. 21 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:04,732 You ladies have really carried me through the last few weeks, 22 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,968 so to show my gratitude, next week 23 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:11,672 I am bringing my famous nutty fruit log. 24 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,807 ALL: Yay. 25 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,578 Would anyone else like to share? 26 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,947 Mary, alcoholic. ALL: Hi, Mary. 27 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,816 I'm afraid Mary isn't very merry this year. 28 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,918 It was recently brought to my attention 29 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:27,154 that my holiday letter was a bit of a bummer. 30 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,757 (quietly): I don't think we got one. We did. 31 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:32,926 That's why the table doesn't wobble anymore. 32 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:37,030 I understand telling everyone that my daughter was in jail, 33 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:40,768 that my brother got evicted, and that my pink eye came back, 34 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:44,204 was not exactly holiday cheer, but it is what happened, 35 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,073 and I did make it rhyme. 36 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,977 Thanks for letting me share. 37 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:52,012 I know you all care. 38 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,149 Okay. (clears throat) Okay, my turn. 39 00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,618 Bonnie, alcoholic. 40 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:58,986 ALL: Hi, Bonnie. 41 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,755 Everybody always shares about how hard it is 42 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,324 around the Christmas holiday. 43 00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:07,761 And to them I say, ba-bam! 44 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,668 That's all I got. 45 00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,137 Merry Christmas. 46 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,106 ♪♪ 47 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,991 Ugh. Wow. 48 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:41,094 Look what happy people do for the holidays. 49 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,997 Please. They're obviously overcompensating. 50 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:46,233 You see Christmas cheer, I see a miserable couple 51 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,669 on the brink of divorce. 52 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,638 You get all that from the front door? 53 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,073 And I read their mail. 54 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,811 Did you leave the light on? 55 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:01,181 Oh, my God, we've been robbed. 56 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,283 Of what? 57 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:05,285 We don't have anything. 58 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:06,820 My laptop. 59 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,321 Oh, damn it, I left my watch on the nightstand. 60 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,091 Oh. Ah. 61 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,860 (door closes) 62 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,829 (gasps) Was that you? No. I was in back. 63 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,298 Oh, my God! That means they were still in here. 64 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,967 Get out, get out, get out! 65 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,035 That means they're out here now. 66 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,171 (screams) Get in, get in, get in! 67 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,080 Looks like he got in through the bedroom window. 68 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,483 He? It could've been a woman. 69 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,985 Sure. 70 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,788 You might want to get that window fixed. 71 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,523 I'll tell the building manager. 72 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,592 I'm sure she'll get to it in a few months. 73 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:47,928 Is now really the time? 74 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,731 Here is a list of the missing items. 75 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:51,999 Hmm. 76 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,468 Is there any chance you're gonna find our stuff? 77 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,069 You want hope or the truth? 78 00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,872 I've never had either. I just want my laptop. 79 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,109 Sure. 80 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:05,045 Thanks, officers. Yeah. 81 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,783 I don't get the feeling we're the cold case those two 82 00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,251 are gonna carry to their graves. 83 00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:14,622 I had a term paper on that computer 84 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,023 and it's my entire grade. 85 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,224 Did you back it up? 86 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,627 If I had backed it up, would I be freaking out right now? 87 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,662 Maybe. You run pretty hot. 88 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,497 Now I'm gonna fail that class, and then 89 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,232 I won't graduate, and then I won't get into law school 90 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,934 and all this hard work will have been for nothing, 91 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,770 and I might as well just stick my head in the oven. 92 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,672 Well, if that's the plan, kitchen's over there. 93 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,541 That's it? 94 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,042 You're not gonna talk me down? 95 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,077 Excuse me, but there are two victims here. 96 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,246 That worthless punk stole my watch. 97 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,948 Oop, no. 98 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,950 Here it is. 99 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:46,954 Hmm. Looks like they didn't touch Roscoe's stuff. 100 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:50,958 Baseball cards, paintball gun. 101 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:55,028 Hey, maybe we should consider getting a real gun. 102 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,697 Are you serious? 103 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,932 Yeah, we're adults. We know what to... 104 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,233 Ow! 105 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,603 (gasps) 106 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,240 I'm sorry. It was an accident. 107 00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,042 It was not an accident! 108 00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,579 Oh, come on, why would I shoot you? 109 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,246 Why wouldn't you shoot me? 110 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,948 Go get a towel. 111 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,719 Ow! 112 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,888 Still want to get a real gun? 113 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:32,600 Are you planning on sleeping with the lights on? 114 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:35,168 I don't plan on sleeping at all. 115 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:39,139 It just creeps me out some stranger was in our home. 116 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,808 (sighs): Yeah. 117 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,243 I mean, for all we know, he could have come up here 118 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,046 and rubbed his ugly naked butt on your pillow. 119 00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,785 Why would you say that? 120 00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:53,754 Oh, come on, we're both thinkin' it. 121 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,189 No, I really wasn't. 122 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,224 You are now. 123 00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:01,795 Hey! 124 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,130 (thumping nearby) 125 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,298 What was that? 126 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,900 (thumping continues) 127 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,068 Sounds like the water heater. 128 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,803 How could it be the water heater? 129 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,204 The water heater doesn't work. 130 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,941 Maybe the burglar broke in and he's fixing it. 131 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,809 Well, at least somebody is. 132 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,044 I told you, it's on my list. 133 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,780 I'm waiting for parts. I'm waiting for parts. Well, I am. 134 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,282 Just turn off the light and go to bed. 135 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,620 (groans) 136 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:30,223 (scoffs) 137 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:33,994 Hmm? 138 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,830 (exhales) 139 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:39,900 I broke into a house once. 140 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,005 What? 141 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,608 Yep. (sighs) 142 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,977 I needed money for drugs. 143 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,613 I cased a couple of houses. 144 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,882 I saw one where the mail was stacked up. 145 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,818 I went around back and broke a window. 146 00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,753 Wow. 147 00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,155 That's a straight-up felony. 148 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:05,626 Only if you get caught. 149 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,895 It was the one time I really, 150 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,763 you know, crossed the line. 151 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,899 The one time? 152 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,267 I mean, I did what normal people do. 153 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:17,037 You know, go to a party, raid the medicine cabinet, 154 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,939 rifle through the jackets on the bed, 155 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,775 take an outfit out of the closet, wear it home. 156 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,677 Who does that? 157 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,946 You might not want to hear this, 158 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,949 but that's what you were doing Christmas five years ago. 159 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,588 I can't believe you broke into somebody's house. 160 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,157 Me neither. God... 161 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:42,062 I never thought about what I put those people through until now. 162 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,966 Just curious, what'd you steal? 163 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,737 Mmm. Cash, jewelry, an EpiPen. 164 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,706 I hope the kid didn't eat peanuts the next day. 165 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:56,109 That's what those are for? 166 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,012 Oh. It just made me run fast. 167 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,117 Sounds awful. 168 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,086 I'm sorry you went through that. 169 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,756 Yeah. I'm still pretty shaken up. 170 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,123 You should get a dog. 171 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,291 No, thanks. 172 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,161 My mom's barely housebroken. 173 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,963 How about a cat? 174 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,666 A security cat? 175 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,268 Mine freak out when a stranger comes to the door. 176 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,004 You should see my mailman's ankles. 177 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:27,708 Well, I did put up some cheap webcams. 178 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,209 Check it out. 179 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:32,212 Living room... kitchen. Mm-hmm. 180 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,314 Yep. There's Bonnie. 181 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,987 CHRISTY: Look at her. 182 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,222 I live with Homer Simpson. 183 00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:47,160 Wait, why is she going through my laundry? 184 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:51,431 Better question, why is she taking off her sweatpants? 185 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:54,101 That's my underwear. 186 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:57,104 She's putting on my underwear. 187 00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:01,041 Oh, my God. That's why all my thongs are stretched out. 188 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,042 (sighs) 189 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,177 Strange butts in my underwear, 190 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,880 strange butts on my pillow. 191 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,282 Will this nightmare never end? 192 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:10,784 WENDY: Hold on. 193 00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:11,785 Christy, I think 194 00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,921 I found your laptop. What? 195 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,388 Someone just posted it on craigslist, 196 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,425 and it has that lame "Follow your dreams" sticker on it. 197 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,327 Oh, my God. This is it. 198 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,829 (chuckles) Ha. 199 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,130 How did you know to look there? 200 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:26,834 A lot of people sell stolen stuff online. 201 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,304 Or so I've heard. 202 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,243 Unbelievable. They want $300 for it. 203 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,979 (scoffs) The "Z" doesn't even work. 204 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,715 You wrote an entire term paper without a "Z"? 205 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:42,983 That's amazing. 206 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,919 No. That's astonishing, 207 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,688 incredible or jaw-dropping. 208 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,067 Why so squirmy? 209 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,435 It's almost like your underwear is the wrong size. 210 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,137 What's it to you? 211 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:06,840 I saw you take mine on the spycam. 212 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,109 That is such a violation of my privacy. 213 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,278 You can't say that in my panties. 214 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,947 I hate to interrupt, 215 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,448 but I think that's the building. 216 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,352 Are you sure this is a good idea? 217 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:23,156 What? Four middle-aged women waltzing into a crime scene? 218 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,958 What are we supposed to do? 219 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,794 The cops won't even return my phone calls. 220 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,529 Well, in their defense, you left super long messages. 221 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,131 Well, screw them. 222 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,333 I'm gonna go get my laptop back. 223 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,303 I'm not sure-- this is a pretty dicey part of town. 224 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,406 Oh, come on. We've all been in worse neighborhoods than this 225 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,841 to buy drugs. 226 00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,976 Or to sell drugs. 227 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,078 Or just hoping to meet someone. 228 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:52,352 Come on, ladies, let's hit the bricks! 229 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,260 Why is no one hittin' the bricks? 230 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,495 (locks door) 231 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,464 Really, Mom? 232 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,300 I have a diamond ring to protect now. 233 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,470 But your kid, your kid you can lose? 234 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,806 I'm sorry, what? 235 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,146 Did this guy sound dangerous on the phone? 236 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,914 We only e-mailed, 237 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,415 just the time and place. 238 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,085 Okay, someone's got to go in first. 239 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,786 Who's the most expendable? 240 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,224 Are you all staring at me so I'll say Wendy? 241 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,559 Just knock. (scoffs) 242 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,130 What if he lured us here so he can rob us again? 243 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,566 Well, you wanted to meet somebody. 244 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,004 Oh, hello, girls. 245 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,039 What are you all doing here? 246 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,441 Uh... 247 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:51,311 ♪ God rest ye merry gentlemen 248 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,580 ALL: ♪ Let nothing you dismay 249 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:56,283 Oh... ♪ Remember Christ our Savior ♪ 250 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,550 ♪ Was born on Christmas Day... 251 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:05,525 ♪ Two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ♪ 252 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,227 (laughing) 253 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,996 What a treat! 254 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:12,966 Oh, thank you for coming and bringing some Christmas cheer. 255 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,267 How about 256 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,870 if I make us all a cup of hot cocoa? 257 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,238 That'd be great, Mare. 258 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,508 That bitch stole our stuff. 259 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,244 This doesn't make any sense-- it couldn't have been her. 260 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,881 Is it just me, or did we sound really good caroling? 261 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,182 Will you focus? 262 00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:31,284 We're dealing with a criminal mastermind. 263 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,920 Tiny marshmallows all around? 264 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,055 Lovely. Mary, wait a minute. 265 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:40,027 Actually, we're here because of a very strange situation. 266 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,562 Christy and Bonnie got robbed. 267 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,598 Oh, no. 268 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,201 Is there anything I can do to help? 269 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,502 Actually, there might be. 270 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:53,073 We tracked down my stolen laptop to this address. 271 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,208 I don't understand. 272 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,244 Where you hiding the loot, old woman? Mom. 273 00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,580 I'm sorry, did you want to be bad cop? 274 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,515 Of course we don't think it's you. 275 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:05,152 Uh... does anyone else live here? 276 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:08,121 (chuckles): Oh, just my grandson, Todd. 277 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:12,292 On Law & Order this is when we would exchange a knowing look. 278 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,094 Oh, no, not my Todd. 279 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,695 He's always been a good boy. 280 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:18,231 I'm sure he has. Can some of us comfort you 281 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,968 while the rest of us search his room? No! 282 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,169 He would never steal. 283 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,271 He's studying to be an electrician. 284 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,573 All I know is that someone gave me this address 285 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,176 to come over and buy my computer back. 286 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,712 No one's judging you, Mary. Of course not. 287 00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:36,383 We're judging your thief/electrician grandson. 288 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,353 I think that you should leave. 289 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:44,224 Just her, or all of us? 290 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,726 Mare, maybe he lost his way a little. 291 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,096 You don't know what you're talking about. 292 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,663 Just get out. 293 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,132 (sighs) 294 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,134 Okay, ladies, let's go. 295 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,369 Wait. We're just leaving? 296 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,205 Yes, you're leaving. 297 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,640 Fine. But we'll be back. 298 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:04,211 Probably. I mean, we haven't talked about a plan yet... 299 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,047 Um, Mary, 300 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,581 if you do find the computer, 301 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,318 could you please print out my paper?! 302 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,156 Do you think Mary'll show up tonight? 303 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,492 Well, if she doesn't, I hope she finds another meeting, 304 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,261 because the most important thing 305 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,998 is that she works the program so she can maintain her sobriety. 306 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:29,702 Let me ask you something-- and this is 100% sincere. 307 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:32,972 Have you ever put yourself to sleep while you were talking? 308 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,713 Hey. Turns out we weren't the only ones who got hit. 309 00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,250 Laura was robbed while she was at a meeting, too. 310 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,784 How weird is that? 311 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,486 It's not weird at all. 312 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:49,156 This kid hangs around his grandmother's meetings, 313 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,590 so he can follow people home, 314 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,426 so he can rob them the next time they're here. 315 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,062 That's awful. 316 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,063 It's also pretty smart. 317 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,066 But mainly awful. 318 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,667 MARY: Christy? 319 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,504 Oh, good. You came. 320 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,140 I didn't want to believe you, but... 321 00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,376 I went into Todd's room. 322 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,746 I hope this is everything. 323 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,218 My computer. 324 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,552 Thank you, Mary. 325 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,654 Are you gonna call the police? 326 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:25,125 That wouldn't help anyone. 327 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,493 (exhales) 328 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,332 Wait. Mary, aren't you staying for the meeting? 329 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,369 Not today. 330 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,405 But we'll see you next week? 331 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,741 Maybe. 332 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:46,179 Uh, what should we do? 333 00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:47,480 (sighs): I don't know. 334 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,749 Maybe just give her some time. 335 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:53,486 Boy, it's just so sad. 336 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,655 I know. Poor Mary. 337 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:59,092 No. I mean, everything we own that's worth stealing 338 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,661 fits in one bag. 339 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,498 (sighs) This is a Christmas miracle. 340 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,200 Your paper's still there? 341 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:08,601 Yeah. 342 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,738 I remember my opening paragraph being a little snappier. 343 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:14,574 You think there's a chance that kid might have... 344 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:17,144 Stolen your computer, broken into your documents 345 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,611 and rewrote your homework? 346 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,114 So you're not ruling it out? 347 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:26,419 Huh. What's this? 348 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,688 Gold earrings. 349 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,324 He must have stolen these from someone else. 350 00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:33,226 No, those are ours. 351 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,495 They are not. Yes, they are. 352 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,531 After how bad we felt getting robbed, 353 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,367 you want to do the same thing? 354 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,536 You're unbelievable. I feel ashamed that I know you. 355 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,272 They're my Christmas present to you. 356 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:48,241 Oh, my God, Mom, they're so nice! 357 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,543 Why didn't you stop me from saying all that? 358 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:51,911 I feel terrible. 359 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,214 And that's my Christmas present from you. 360 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,854 Mary? It's Christy. 361 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:03,790 What about me? 362 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:07,427 Let's let you be a delightful surprise. 363 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,562 MARY: Please go away. 364 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,865 Come on, Mary, open the door. 365 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,671 What do you want? 366 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,607 We were worried about you. 367 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,742 We haven't seen you in a week. 368 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,181 What happened to your Christmas tree? 369 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:31,518 I didn't feel like celebrating this year. 370 00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,289 How are things with your grandson? 371 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:38,425 Not good. He took off. 372 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,693 I'm really worried about him. 373 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,599 Todd was always my little shining star. 374 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,603 I know this is hard, 375 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,273 but you can't stop coming to meetings. 376 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,475 Oh. I'm too embarrassed. 377 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,477 In front of us? 378 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,512 Have you listened to our shares? 379 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:00,980 We're all train wrecks. 380 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,783 Speak for yourself-- I have a fiancé. 381 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:06,686 I'm not sure what the point is anymore. 382 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:11,224 Mary... you didn't get sober for your grandson. 383 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,260 You got sober for yourself. 384 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:16,396 And you can't help him unless you stay that way. 385 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,597 Don't write the kid off. 386 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:22,302 Sometimes disappointing children grow up and surprise you. 387 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:25,305 I'd take a shot back, but I really love my earrings. 388 00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:29,576 How about we have a meeting right now? 389 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,713 I'd like that. 390 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,782 You want to start? 391 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,619 Hi. I'm Mary. 392 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,324 And I'm an alcoholic. 393 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,593 Hi, Mary. Hi, Mary. 394 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,168 Excuse me. 395 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:56,669 Yes? 396 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,572 You don't know me, but... do you have a minute? 397 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:03,243 Sorry, I already picked my God, and I've got enough magazines. 398 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,745 Both good guesses, but not why I'm here. 399 00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:08,548 Did you live here nine years ago? 400 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:11,268 Yes. Why? 401 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,820 Okay, here goes. 402 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,322 Um... 403 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:18,625 I kind of... 404 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,661 broke into your house and robbed you. 405 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,530 What? That was you? 406 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,465 Yeah. I-I... 407 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,135 came to make an amends to you. 408 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,369 An amends? 409 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:33,673 See, back when I robbed you, I was a drunk and a drug addict. 410 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:37,677 And I-I know that's not an excuse, but it is, 411 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,279 sort of, my excuse. 412 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:43,450 What I did was terrible, and I'm sorry if I made you feel 413 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,652 you weren't safe in your own home. 414 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,655 My kids couldn't sleep for weeks. 415 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,458 I know I can't make up for what I did, 416 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,260 but I'd be happy to write a check 417 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,862 for whatever you feel covers what I took. 418 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,565 Okay, $1,200. 419 00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:02,502 $1,200? Really? Isn't that kind of high? 420 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,804 Do you want to make this right, or not? 421 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:08,441 I only have $900 in my bank account. 422 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,743 Okay, give me that. 423 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:11,844 Wow. 424 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,846 (chuckles) I was kind of hoping 425 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,516 we were gonna end up just hugging this thing out, 426 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,651 but... okay. 427 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,254 Do you need a pen? 428 00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:23,723 I got one. 429 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,425 Did you steal it? 430 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,793 I did not. 431 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,630 Last chance to say $500. 432 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,666 Okay, yeah... (mumbles) 433 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:37,204 I'm just gonna write "Merry Christmas" in the memo.