1 00:00:02,546 --> 00:00:04,156 Oh, and my fiancé-- 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:08,160 [chuckles] I love saying that-- 3 00:00:08,204 --> 00:00:10,728 we've been talking about the guest list for our wedding. 4 00:00:10,772 --> 00:00:12,991 While we'd love to invite everyone, 5 00:00:13,035 --> 00:00:15,080 we're gonna have to make some hard choices. 6 00:00:15,124 --> 00:00:18,083 Hint: a good pre-wedding gift could be the bump you need. 7 00:00:18,127 --> 00:00:20,129 Any Apple products 8 00:00:20,172 --> 00:00:22,914 gets you in the first five rows. 9 00:00:22,958 --> 00:00:25,917 Does she really think this is gonna be a hot ticket? 10 00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:28,572 Welcome to the waiting list, Marjorie. 11 00:00:28,616 --> 00:00:31,706 Would a waffle iron get me a good seat? 12 00:00:31,749 --> 00:00:32,881 It'll get you in the building. 13 00:00:35,013 --> 00:00:37,363 I'll share. Christy, alcoholic. 14 00:00:37,407 --> 00:00:38,756 ALL: Hi, Christy. 15 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,063 You know, she is not kidding about that list. 16 00:00:41,106 --> 00:00:43,021 I don't even think I made the cut. 17 00:00:43,065 --> 00:00:46,547 Anyway, my boyfriend is in town this weekend for his birthday, 18 00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:49,941 and I saved enough money to take him to dinner, 19 00:00:49,985 --> 00:00:51,552 buy him a travel mug, 20 00:00:51,595 --> 00:00:54,250 and... get professionally waxed. 21 00:00:56,121 --> 00:00:59,211 So no more bristly patches. 22 00:00:59,255 --> 00:01:01,213 It's true what they say: 23 00:01:01,257 --> 00:01:04,390 if you stay sober, your life gets bigger and better 24 00:01:04,434 --> 00:01:08,264 and... smoother. 25 00:01:08,307 --> 00:01:11,049 Thanks. 26 00:01:11,093 --> 00:01:13,312 Of course you're invited to the wedding. 27 00:01:13,356 --> 00:01:15,750 I'm gonna need someone to hold up my dress while I pee. 28 00:01:17,534 --> 00:01:19,884 All right, we have time for one more. 29 00:01:19,928 --> 00:01:22,713 Uh, would our newcomer like to share? 30 00:01:22,757 --> 00:01:25,498 Hi, I'm Jill, alcoholic. 31 00:01:25,542 --> 00:01:27,152 ALL: Hi, Jill. 32 00:01:27,196 --> 00:01:28,676 It's weird to call myself a newcomer, 33 00:01:28,719 --> 00:01:30,025 but that's what I am. 34 00:01:30,068 --> 00:01:32,593 Got the one-day chip to prove it. 35 00:01:32,636 --> 00:01:35,117 'Course I keep slipping, so I got about ten of these things. 36 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,598 By the way, should I be recycling 'em? 37 00:01:37,641 --> 00:01:39,251 you know like give a penny, take a penny? 38 00:01:40,905 --> 00:01:43,734 Anyhow... 39 00:01:43,778 --> 00:01:46,432 I've been having a hard time staying sober, 40 00:01:46,476 --> 00:01:49,392 but this morning felt different. I got up off the lawn, 41 00:01:49,435 --> 00:01:51,089 before the sprinklers went off this time. 42 00:01:52,656 --> 00:01:53,744 I went inside, 43 00:01:53,788 --> 00:01:55,093 poured myself a cup of coffee 44 00:01:55,137 --> 00:01:58,619 with just cream, no vodka, 45 00:01:58,662 --> 00:02:00,446 and said "Morning, world! 46 00:02:00,490 --> 00:02:03,101 It's a brand new day." 47 00:02:03,145 --> 00:02:06,104 Also, if I sent you a video of myself 48 00:02:06,148 --> 00:02:08,454 singing Carrie Underwood naked, could you please delete it? 49 00:02:08,498 --> 00:02:11,283 Thanks. 50 00:02:11,327 --> 00:02:14,635 I'll show it to you when we get home. 51 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,684 CHRISTY: Get ready for your next birthday surprise. 52 00:02:20,728 --> 00:02:22,643 Whoa. 53 00:02:25,868 --> 00:02:28,131 Look quick, 'cause it's coming off fast. 54 00:02:28,174 --> 00:02:30,829 Wow, I did not think you could top that travel mug. 55 00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:38,141 Smooth. I know! 56 00:02:40,752 --> 00:02:43,929 [cell phone vibrating] 57 00:02:43,973 --> 00:02:46,018 Oh, please tell me that's something in your bedside table 58 00:02:46,062 --> 00:02:47,846 that we're gonna use later. 59 00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:49,848 I'll turn it off. Okay. 60 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:56,028 Oh, God, it's my friend Jill. 61 00:02:56,072 --> 00:02:58,161 I hate to do this, but I got to go. 62 00:02:58,204 --> 00:03:01,469 Now? Not, like, ten glorious minutes from now? 63 00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:03,427 Sorry, it's an emergency. 64 00:03:03,471 --> 00:03:04,776 W-What's wrong? 65 00:03:04,820 --> 00:03:06,387 She's been trying to get sober, 66 00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:08,432 and now she's drunk and freaking out. 67 00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:10,652 I promise I'll make it up to you. 68 00:03:13,655 --> 00:03:15,700 [door closes, reopens] 69 00:03:15,744 --> 00:03:17,049 If you get hungry, there's chocolate sauce 70 00:03:17,093 --> 00:03:18,224 in the nightstand. 71 00:03:22,490 --> 00:03:23,882 Can you believe this? 72 00:03:23,926 --> 00:03:26,058 I know, we were just getting started. 73 00:03:26,102 --> 00:03:27,451 Oh? We were done. 74 00:03:27,495 --> 00:03:29,105 Wow. 75 00:03:29,148 --> 00:03:30,628 Yeah. We've been together a while. 76 00:03:30,672 --> 00:03:32,717 We got it down to three essential moves. 77 00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:34,632 ♪♪ 78 00:03:50,909 --> 00:03:52,650 I can't believe it. 79 00:03:52,694 --> 00:03:54,870 I went to the market to get some almond milk, 80 00:03:54,913 --> 00:03:57,699 and I ended up buying two fifths of vodka. 81 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:02,024 Ugh. You drink almond milk? 82 00:04:02,029 --> 00:04:05,815 More coffee and cookies. May I go home now? 83 00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:09,427 Yeah. I'm sorry about your shoes. 84 00:04:09,471 --> 00:04:11,647 Thank you for aiming down this time. 85 00:04:11,690 --> 00:04:15,216 Good night. Thank you, Soledad. 86 00:04:16,782 --> 00:04:18,915 Why does this keep happening? 87 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,874 Oh, honey, it's a cunning and baffling disease. 88 00:04:21,918 --> 00:04:23,441 That's the best you got? 89 00:04:23,485 --> 00:04:25,008 Give me a break. It's late. 90 00:04:25,052 --> 00:04:26,531 I'm not wearing a bra. 91 00:04:28,838 --> 00:04:31,275 The important thing is that you called us. 92 00:04:31,319 --> 00:04:33,277 And that Soledad took the scissors away 93 00:04:33,321 --> 00:04:34,757 before you gave yourself a mullet. 94 00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:40,110 I really do want to get sober. 95 00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:41,851 It's okay. 96 00:04:41,894 --> 00:04:43,809 You're gonna get this. 97 00:04:43,853 --> 00:04:46,334 Just call us before you go to the market next time. 98 00:04:46,377 --> 00:04:47,683 We love you. Yeah. 99 00:04:47,726 --> 00:04:48,858 We're here for you. 100 00:04:48,901 --> 00:04:50,599 Oh, my God. 101 00:04:50,642 --> 00:04:53,384 This cookie is giving me my second orgasm of the night. 102 00:04:54,907 --> 00:04:57,475 Oh, yeah, you're totally gonna get this. 103 00:04:59,390 --> 00:05:02,654 So they just don't come home all night, 104 00:05:02,698 --> 00:05:04,091 and that's normal? 105 00:05:04,134 --> 00:05:05,309 Oh, you can't get hung up 106 00:05:05,353 --> 00:05:07,746 on what's normal around here. 107 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:10,662 Be happy they left us milk and toilet paper. 108 00:05:10,706 --> 00:05:12,708 Looks like the highlight of my birthday weekend 109 00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:15,754 will be more time with my dickweed brother. 110 00:05:15,798 --> 00:05:17,974 You call it your birthday, 111 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:21,760 I call it the 54th anniversary of you stealing my mother. 112 00:05:21,804 --> 00:05:23,284 [chuckles] 113 00:05:23,327 --> 00:05:24,894 What? 114 00:05:24,937 --> 00:05:26,896 Seriously, dude? 115 00:05:26,939 --> 00:05:28,767 You still eat Captain Crunch? 116 00:05:28,811 --> 00:05:32,684 First of all, dude, 117 00:05:32,728 --> 00:05:35,209 it's pronounced "Cap'n." 118 00:05:36,993 --> 00:05:39,343 And you disrespect his service to the Crunch Navy 119 00:05:39,387 --> 00:05:41,389 if you say it any other way. 120 00:05:48,091 --> 00:05:50,093 BONNIE: Boys, we're back. In here. 121 00:05:50,137 --> 00:05:51,225 Hey, how's Jill? 122 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,096 Ah, she yelled, 123 00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:55,185 she tried to make out with Wendy, 124 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,796 she took a swing at Marjorie-- nothing we haven't seen before. 125 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:01,496 Now she's sleeping it off, which is what I want to do. 126 00:06:01,539 --> 00:06:04,107 Caring about other people is exhausting. 127 00:06:04,151 --> 00:06:06,631 I am never doing it again. 128 00:06:06,675 --> 00:06:08,503 Good night. 129 00:06:08,546 --> 00:06:10,548 You seem pretty beat. 130 00:06:10,592 --> 00:06:12,115 Me? No. No. 131 00:06:12,159 --> 00:06:15,075 I have a whole day planned for us. 132 00:06:15,118 --> 00:06:17,425 We're gonna go for a hike and... 133 00:06:17,468 --> 00:06:19,775 [yawning]: see that documentary on bees 134 00:06:19,818 --> 00:06:22,343 you keep talking about and, uh... 135 00:06:22,386 --> 00:06:24,736 then we're gonna have a-a fabulous dinner. 136 00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:27,435 So, happy birthday. 137 00:06:27,478 --> 00:06:28,548 Yay. 138 00:06:28,553 --> 00:06:31,208 [chuckles] 139 00:06:31,252 --> 00:06:33,036 Yeah. Why don't we just skip the hike 140 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,604 and you go take a nap, huh? 141 00:06:35,647 --> 00:06:37,214 No, no, no, no, no, no. No. 142 00:06:37,258 --> 00:06:39,390 Okay, yes. 143 00:06:39,434 --> 00:06:41,262 But two hours, tops, 144 00:06:41,305 --> 00:06:43,525 and then it's big fun for you, mister. 145 00:06:43,568 --> 00:06:45,440 [chuckles] 146 00:06:45,483 --> 00:06:48,704 [chuckles softly] 147 00:06:48,747 --> 00:06:50,575 Yeah, I'm not gonna see her the rest of the day, am I? 148 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,577 No. Yeah. 149 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,188 BONNIE: Adam! 150 00:06:54,231 --> 00:06:56,059 Coming! 151 00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:59,193 Sex helps her fall asleep. 152 00:06:59,236 --> 00:07:02,109 She says I've got pure Ambien between my legs. 153 00:07:06,852 --> 00:07:09,725 You guys don't have to worry anymore. I got this. 154 00:07:09,768 --> 00:07:11,031 I realized what I've been doing wrong. 155 00:07:11,074 --> 00:07:12,510 I didn't have a plan, but now I do. 156 00:07:12,554 --> 00:07:14,077 I went to a meeting this morning, 157 00:07:14,121 --> 00:07:15,165 then went to another meeting with you gals, 158 00:07:15,209 --> 00:07:16,471 gonna have my eyebrows re-threaded, 159 00:07:16,514 --> 00:07:18,212 then go to another meeting tonight. 160 00:07:18,255 --> 00:07:19,865 And I'm gonna bookend every day by calling Christy 161 00:07:19,909 --> 00:07:22,042 in the morning and again at night to let her know 162 00:07:22,085 --> 00:07:23,173 I stuck with my plan. 163 00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:25,871 How's that for a plan? 164 00:07:25,915 --> 00:07:27,873 Well, it was fast and wordy. 165 00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:29,701 And a very good plan. 166 00:07:29,745 --> 00:07:31,573 Christy, I hope I didn't ruin 167 00:07:31,616 --> 00:07:33,575 your boyfriend's birthday weekend. 168 00:07:33,618 --> 00:07:35,620 Patrick's fine. When I woke up from my nap, 169 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,144 he had left to go bowling with Adam. 170 00:07:38,362 --> 00:07:39,668 Yes, Adam bowls. 171 00:07:39,711 --> 00:07:40,973 Nobody's perfect. 172 00:07:42,453 --> 00:07:43,715 I love bowling. 173 00:07:43,759 --> 00:07:45,543 I think it's sexy. 174 00:07:45,587 --> 00:07:48,851 Yeah. That's why there's so much bowling porn. 175 00:07:48,894 --> 00:07:51,245 There is. 176 00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:54,117 Well, since y'all helped me so much, 177 00:07:54,161 --> 00:07:55,771 I brought each of you a little something 178 00:07:55,814 --> 00:07:57,381 from my gift closet. 179 00:07:57,425 --> 00:07:59,383 ALL: Oh! Oh, sweetie, 180 00:07:59,427 --> 00:08:01,298 that's very nice of you. WENDY: Thank you. 181 00:08:01,342 --> 00:08:03,170 But we don't help people for gifts. 182 00:08:03,213 --> 00:08:04,954 We do it for fun and for free. 183 00:08:09,741 --> 00:08:11,091 You're right. 184 00:08:13,397 --> 00:08:14,790 Bonnie. 185 00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:15,891 What? 186 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,941 The bracelet. 187 00:08:17,985 --> 00:08:19,900 I was wearing this when I came in. 188 00:08:24,339 --> 00:08:27,429 Do you know what would make this outfit perfect? 189 00:08:27,472 --> 00:08:29,735 That bracelet you goody-goodies made me give back. 190 00:08:31,955 --> 00:08:33,522 Don't you think it's great that the four of us 191 00:08:33,565 --> 00:08:35,567 are gonna go out and... 192 00:08:35,611 --> 00:08:36,960 Oh, come on! 193 00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:39,180 [groans] You come on. 194 00:08:39,223 --> 00:08:40,685 No! You have to change. 195 00:08:40,690 --> 00:08:42,300 Why do I have to change? 196 00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:43,911 Because it's my boyfriend's birthday, 197 00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:45,956 so I get to wear the slutty red dress. 198 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,089 Nope. Everything's taped up and Spanx'd down. I'm done. 199 00:08:51,396 --> 00:08:53,616 Fine. 200 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,313 Unzip me. 201 00:08:55,357 --> 00:08:56,837 I will. 202 00:08:58,316 --> 00:08:59,578 [grunts] 203 00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:08,070 Are you as freaked out as I am that Jill hasn't been able 204 00:09:08,113 --> 00:09:10,507 to string more than a day or two of sobriety together? 205 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,857 Yeah. It's scary. 206 00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:15,468 I can't imagine what it would be like to start from zero again. 207 00:09:15,512 --> 00:09:17,993 Been there. It sucks. 208 00:09:18,036 --> 00:09:21,562 I'm afraid that if I went out, I would never come back. 209 00:09:21,605 --> 00:09:23,476 Yeah, you would. 210 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,305 'Cause I'd drag you back by the roots of your hair. 211 00:09:27,785 --> 00:09:29,221 Thanks, Mom. 212 00:09:29,265 --> 00:09:31,310 Okay. How do I look? 213 00:09:31,354 --> 00:09:33,008 Not better than me, so, good. 214 00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,579 Ah. 215 00:09:38,622 --> 00:09:40,711 So who won at bowling? 216 00:09:40,755 --> 00:09:42,060 Everyone who saw Patrick fall on his ass 217 00:09:42,104 --> 00:09:43,671 trying to pick up a spare. 218 00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:46,108 Oh, hey, I would have played better, but... 219 00:09:46,151 --> 00:09:47,849 I didn't bring my ball. I didn't bring my ball. 220 00:09:47,892 --> 00:09:49,938 Wait a minute-- you have your own bowling ball? 221 00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:51,243 That's the kind of thing you should have disclosed 222 00:09:51,287 --> 00:09:52,593 on our first date. 223 00:09:52,636 --> 00:09:55,465 It's purple and it's sparkly. 224 00:09:55,508 --> 00:09:59,338 Hey, that's the color of my bowling team. [phone rings] 225 00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:01,906 Oh. It's... it's Jill, but don't worry, 226 00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:05,083 it's just a bookend call. I'll be-I'll be right back. 227 00:10:05,127 --> 00:10:07,303 Uh, a bookend? That's when an alcoholic 228 00:10:07,346 --> 00:10:09,087 calls someone in the program in the morning 229 00:10:09,131 --> 00:10:11,481 and then again at night to let them know they're okay. 230 00:10:11,524 --> 00:10:13,135 Ah, look at you learning the lingo. 231 00:10:13,178 --> 00:10:17,008 Hey. Watch enough Star Trek, you learn a little Klingon. 232 00:10:17,052 --> 00:10:18,357 [sighs] 233 00:10:19,489 --> 00:10:21,099 Bad news. 234 00:10:21,143 --> 00:10:23,711 Wha... I-I thought it was a-a bookend. 235 00:10:23,754 --> 00:10:25,756 No. It was Jill's housekeeper. 236 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,366 Jill showed up at her place, drunk. 237 00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:29,325 I-I've got... I got to go get her. 238 00:10:29,468 --> 00:10:30,948 That's crazy-- it's Patrick's birthday. 239 00:10:30,992 --> 00:10:32,036 You stay, I'll go. 240 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,385 Thanks, Bonnie. I appreciate it. 241 00:10:35,997 --> 00:10:38,042 You're right. My mom can handle it. 242 00:10:38,086 --> 00:10:39,740 Words I've never said before. 243 00:10:42,394 --> 00:10:44,614 I'm just gonna... eat this in the car. 244 00:10:45,963 --> 00:10:47,617 I'll text you later. 245 00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:48,879 Please. 246 00:10:50,489 --> 00:10:52,274 Thank you for staying. 247 00:10:52,317 --> 00:10:54,276 Of course. [chuckles] 248 00:10:54,319 --> 00:10:56,278 Jill's gonna be all right. 249 00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:57,975 [softly]: Yeah. 250 00:10:58,019 --> 00:10:59,847 She definitely is. 251 00:11:03,154 --> 00:11:06,027 Uh, you know what, Christy? 252 00:11:06,070 --> 00:11:08,290 Just go. 253 00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,944 Thank you. 254 00:11:09,987 --> 00:11:12,294 I'm sorry, I-I'm just so worried about her. 255 00:11:15,253 --> 00:11:16,646 Thank you. 256 00:11:19,492 --> 00:11:21,233 Well... I guess this night's a bust. 257 00:11:21,277 --> 00:11:23,235 Should we just get the check and go? 258 00:11:23,279 --> 00:11:25,498 Hell, no. Now we can order whiskey and not have to sip it. 259 00:11:25,542 --> 00:11:26,456 Waiter! 260 00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:36,039 [knocking] Thank you so much for coming. 261 00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:37,736 I didn't know who else to call. 262 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,129 It's okay. 263 00:11:39,173 --> 00:11:40,391 [slurring]: Oh, my Lord, 264 00:11:40,435 --> 00:11:43,960 her fingernails are so long. 265 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,744 Hey, Jill. 266 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,964 Oh, my God! Christy! Bonnie! 267 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,053 I didn't know you guys were friends with Soledad! 268 00:11:51,489 --> 00:11:53,647 Honey, what are you doing here? 269 00:11:53,652 --> 00:11:56,394 Oh, just watching TV, but I'm a little confused, 270 00:11:56,438 --> 00:11:58,657 'cause it's all in... [whispers]: Mexican. 271 00:12:00,703 --> 00:12:03,445 So, that lady with the long nails right there-- 272 00:12:03,488 --> 00:12:07,057 her husband is sleeping with the girl with the pointy boobs, 273 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,799 but pointy is having a baby 274 00:12:09,842 --> 00:12:11,235 with the guy in the eye patch. 275 00:12:11,279 --> 00:12:14,195 Did I get that right? Más o menos. 276 00:12:14,238 --> 00:12:16,183 I love hanging out here. 277 00:12:16,188 --> 00:12:18,321 She's never been to my house in her life. 278 00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:20,044 I don't even know how she found me. 279 00:12:20,049 --> 00:12:21,746 'Course I know where you live. 280 00:12:21,790 --> 00:12:24,619 I sent you those pears for Christmas. 281 00:12:24,662 --> 00:12:26,577 Oh, yes, so much better than cash. 282 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,536 [speaking Spanish] 283 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,286 Aren't they cute? 284 00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:42,288 Adorable. 285 00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:45,161 We need to get you home. 286 00:12:45,204 --> 00:12:46,858 But I don't want to go. 287 00:12:46,902 --> 00:12:48,817 Jill, you have to get up. You can't stay here. 288 00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:51,602 Why not? This used to be my couch. 289 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,952 Oh. For all you know, 290 00:12:53,996 --> 00:12:56,825 they had a romantic evening planned for tonight. 291 00:12:56,868 --> 00:12:58,957 It might even be his birthday, and you're ruining it. 292 00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:00,655 Subtle. I don't care. 293 00:13:00,698 --> 00:13:01,743 Well, you didn't have to come. 294 00:13:01,786 --> 00:13:03,179 I want to be here for Jill. 295 00:13:03,222 --> 00:13:04,615 Then don't complain about it. 296 00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:05,921 I'm not! You kinda were! 297 00:13:05,964 --> 00:13:07,966 Bye, Soledad! 298 00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:10,578 See you later! 299 00:13:10,621 --> 00:13:14,146 ♪ Happy birthday to you. 300 00:13:14,190 --> 00:13:17,628 Make a wish, sweetie. 301 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,326 Remember when we couldn't do this because people would stare? 302 00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:21,545 Ugh, the dark ages. 303 00:13:21,589 --> 00:13:22,546 Hold on. 304 00:13:22,590 --> 00:13:24,200 Oh, I will. 305 00:13:24,243 --> 00:13:26,811 Will you stop? Don't be so touchy. 306 00:13:26,855 --> 00:13:28,813 Oh, I have no problem with people thinking I'm gay. 307 00:13:28,857 --> 00:13:30,380 I just don't want them thinking 308 00:13:30,423 --> 00:13:32,077 that I couldn't do any better than you. 309 00:13:35,037 --> 00:13:37,474 Oh, man! I forgot about my steak. 310 00:13:37,518 --> 00:13:40,999 Do you think it's still safe to eat? 311 00:13:41,043 --> 00:13:43,436 [groans] Would it stop you if I said no? 312 00:13:45,308 --> 00:13:46,657 Hey. 313 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,137 Hey. How was dinner? 314 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,052 Oh, good. We saved you some cake. 315 00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:53,534 Hey! Cake and steak-- let's eat it in bed. 316 00:13:53,577 --> 00:13:56,798 If you think you're happy now, I've got a potato in my pocket. 317 00:14:01,498 --> 00:14:03,544 I know I've said I'm sorry, like, a thousand times, 318 00:14:03,587 --> 00:14:05,023 but I really, really am sorry. 319 00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:08,157 Hey, it's my birthday for... 320 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,812 two more hours, so what do you say 321 00:14:10,855 --> 00:14:13,423 we go upstairs and, uh... Oh... 322 00:14:13,466 --> 00:14:14,946 we can't. 323 00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,382 Jill was afraid to be alone, 324 00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:18,384 so we had to bring her back with us, 325 00:14:18,428 --> 00:14:20,169 and she kind of passed out in my bed. 326 00:14:20,212 --> 00:14:21,997 Oh. 327 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,476 But the sofa pulls out. 328 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:27,045 We can have super hot, quiet sex 329 00:14:27,089 --> 00:14:29,570 that people might walk in on. 330 00:14:29,613 --> 00:14:32,747 Yeah, th-that doesn't sound super hot to me. 331 00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:36,054 Oh, I-I promise, tomorrow I am all yours. 332 00:14:36,098 --> 00:14:37,969 Christy, please, stop... 333 00:14:38,013 --> 00:14:40,406 making promises. 334 00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:41,756 You're mad, aren't you? 335 00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:45,193 Yeah, I-I'm mad. Uh, your mom said 336 00:14:45,198 --> 00:14:47,940 that she could handle things tonight, but you went anyway. 337 00:14:47,984 --> 00:14:50,334 You said it was okay. Well, because who wants to sit through dinner 338 00:14:50,378 --> 00:14:52,031 with somebody who doesn't want to be there? 339 00:14:52,075 --> 00:14:54,251 Although my brother just did, and he really enjoyed it. 340 00:14:56,079 --> 00:14:58,386 I don't know how else to explain it, 341 00:14:58,429 --> 00:15:01,302 but that Jill really needed me. Yeah. 342 00:15:01,345 --> 00:15:03,478 It's late, I'm-I'm tired, 343 00:15:03,521 --> 00:15:06,089 so... let's just go to bed, okay? 344 00:15:08,047 --> 00:15:09,092 It's-It's kind of tricky. 345 00:15:09,135 --> 00:15:10,572 You have to push and then pull. 346 00:15:10,615 --> 00:15:11,660 I-I got it. 347 00:15:13,923 --> 00:15:15,689 [strained grunt] 348 00:15:15,694 --> 00:15:18,026 PATRICK: Ow! My fingers! 349 00:15:18,031 --> 00:15:20,686 [laughs]: He's so miserable. 350 00:15:20,730 --> 00:15:22,906 Mmm. You know that part of you 351 00:15:22,949 --> 00:15:25,364 that takes pleasure in other people's pain? Yeah. 352 00:15:25,369 --> 00:15:27,980 Mmm. Totally turns me on. 353 00:15:31,901 --> 00:15:33,638 Oh, my God, 354 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:36,206 Adam, you're walking-- it's a miracle! 355 00:15:38,034 --> 00:15:40,036 No. Uh... not Adam. 356 00:15:40,079 --> 00:15:42,038 I'm his brother, Patrick. 357 00:15:42,081 --> 00:15:44,867 Oh, yeah. That makes more sense. 358 00:15:46,042 --> 00:15:47,565 Coffee, please? 359 00:15:47,609 --> 00:15:49,611 Little agave? 360 00:15:49,654 --> 00:15:51,047 You must be Jill. 361 00:15:53,049 --> 00:15:54,920 Thank you. 362 00:15:54,964 --> 00:15:56,618 How'd you hurt your hand? 363 00:15:56,661 --> 00:16:00,186 Oh. I, uh... lost a fight 364 00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:01,884 with a pullout couch. 365 00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,668 Oh, I took your bed, didn't I? 366 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,235 Kinda. 367 00:16:05,278 --> 00:16:07,280 I wasn't always a mess like this. 368 00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:10,240 I mean... 369 00:16:10,283 --> 00:16:12,416 I was and then I wasn't... 370 00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:15,680 and then I got fat and then I got skinny... 371 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:18,074 and now I'm a mess again. 372 00:16:18,117 --> 00:16:19,945 Go figure. 373 00:16:19,989 --> 00:16:21,338 Sorry to hear that. 374 00:16:21,382 --> 00:16:22,644 Thanks. 375 00:16:24,472 --> 00:16:26,735 You know, in the past... 376 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:29,390 every time I relapsed, I was able to get back, 377 00:16:29,433 --> 00:16:32,218 but this time I'm just... 378 00:16:32,262 --> 00:16:34,395 I'm just kind of lost. 379 00:16:36,222 --> 00:16:37,833 Thank God I have Christy. 380 00:16:37,876 --> 00:16:39,835 [chuckles softly] She took hold of me 381 00:16:39,878 --> 00:16:42,185 the very first time I walked into a meeting, 382 00:16:42,228 --> 00:16:43,882 and she's been right there ever since. 383 00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:48,017 I don't know what I'd do without her. 384 00:16:49,627 --> 00:16:51,760 Yeah, she's, uh... 385 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,415 she's pretty special. [chuckles] 386 00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:59,563 You know, for only having eight working fingers, 387 00:16:59,568 --> 00:17:02,005 you make great coffee. 388 00:17:02,048 --> 00:17:04,355 Thanks. Just don't ask me to shoot a basketball. 389 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:07,967 Why would I ask you to shoot a basketball? 390 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,568 Oh, hey. You two met. 391 00:17:12,611 --> 00:17:14,091 [chuckles] Yeah. 392 00:17:14,135 --> 00:17:15,136 He's a good one. 393 00:17:15,179 --> 00:17:16,441 Aw. Hey, uh, Christy, 394 00:17:16,485 --> 00:17:18,182 you got a minute? 395 00:17:18,226 --> 00:17:19,923 Uh, sure. 396 00:17:21,881 --> 00:17:24,623 Before you say anything, 397 00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:27,191 she's leaving, and you and I are gonna have our day together. 398 00:17:27,235 --> 00:17:28,975 Yeah, about that, um... 399 00:17:30,803 --> 00:17:32,631 I'm gonna go home. 400 00:17:32,675 --> 00:17:34,720 You're still mad. 401 00:17:34,764 --> 00:17:36,374 No, I'm not mad. 402 00:17:36,418 --> 00:17:38,159 I get it. 403 00:17:38,202 --> 00:17:40,770 Your friend's in trouble and she needs you. 404 00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:42,815 But? 405 00:17:42,859 --> 00:17:47,124 I just don't know where I fit in here. 406 00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:50,823 I know this has not been the ideal weekend, 407 00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:54,392 but you got to understand, helping people stay sober 408 00:17:54,436 --> 00:17:57,178 is part of what helps me stay sober. 409 00:17:57,221 --> 00:17:59,615 So it has to come first. 410 00:17:59,658 --> 00:18:02,400 Well, I guess that means I'll always be second. 411 00:18:03,836 --> 00:18:06,187 I'm crazy about you. 412 00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:09,668 But if I don't stay sober, there is no second. 413 00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:12,236 Well... 414 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,021 I don't know... 415 00:18:15,065 --> 00:18:18,024 if this is gonna work for me. 416 00:18:18,068 --> 00:18:19,025 Oh. 417 00:18:20,984 --> 00:18:22,812 Where does that leave us? 418 00:18:26,729 --> 00:18:29,210 I'm not sure. 419 00:18:29,253 --> 00:18:31,908 You know, let's talk in a few days, okay? 420 00:18:31,951 --> 00:18:33,388 Okay. 421 00:18:59,457 --> 00:19:01,372 I feel asleep on cake. 422 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,767 What's wrong? 423 00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:08,249 Patrick just left. 424 00:19:08,292 --> 00:19:10,816 Already? Yeah. 425 00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:14,211 Too much AA, not enough Christy. 426 00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:19,129 [sighs]: Oh. 427 00:19:21,131 --> 00:19:23,568 Don't worry, honey, he'll... he'll get over it. 428 00:19:23,612 --> 00:19:25,135 I don't know. 429 00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:30,314 [Jill clears throat] 430 00:19:30,358 --> 00:19:32,577 I'm trying to piece together 431 00:19:32,621 --> 00:19:34,231 what happened last night. 432 00:19:36,102 --> 00:19:38,017 Did I go to Mexico? 433 00:19:47,876 --> 00:19:49,225 Look at this. 434 00:19:49,268 --> 00:19:51,227 Homemade apricot jam from Gloria. 435 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:54,012 Somebody just got invited to the wedding. 436 00:19:54,056 --> 00:19:56,623 We give away chips for various lengths of sobriety. 437 00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,712 Our chip person is Marjorie. 438 00:19:58,756 --> 00:20:00,802 Hi. Marjorie. Alcoholic. 439 00:20:00,845 --> 00:20:02,238 OTHERS: Hi, Marjorie. 440 00:20:02,281 --> 00:20:03,979 Would anyone like a newcomer chip? 441 00:20:08,679 --> 00:20:12,204 I'm not taking another one-- it's too embarrassing. 442 00:20:12,248 --> 00:20:14,859 You have nothing to be embarrassed about. 443 00:20:14,903 --> 00:20:17,209 What if I take a newcomer chip at every meeting 444 00:20:17,253 --> 00:20:19,081 for the rest of my life? 445 00:20:19,124 --> 00:20:20,386 MAN: I'm an alcoholic. 446 00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:22,171 Then I'll be right here with you. 447 00:20:23,607 --> 00:20:25,696 MARJORIE: Anyone else want 448 00:20:25,739 --> 00:20:27,219 to take a newcomer chip? 449 00:20:35,662 --> 00:20:37,621 What's your name, honey? 450 00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:40,667 Oh, right. 451 00:20:43,279 --> 00:20:45,368 Hi. I'm Jill, and I'm an alcoholic. 452 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,022 OTHERS: Hi, Jill. 453 00:20:47,065 --> 00:20:49,198 Okay. 454 00:20:49,241 --> 00:20:52,244 Would anyone like to take a chip for 30 days?