1 00:00:04,282 --> 00:00:08,678 So, I have what I've been told is a moral dilemma. 2 00:00:08,721 --> 00:00:11,986 Whatever your gut is telling you, do the opposite. 3 00:00:12,029 --> 00:00:14,379 That's what I thought at first, so I switched, 4 00:00:14,423 --> 00:00:16,817 but that made me think I should switch again. 5 00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:18,166 So now where am I? 6 00:00:18,209 --> 00:00:19,428 I'm going back to my phone. 7 00:00:19,471 --> 00:00:21,386 Give me a nudge when she gets to it. 8 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,780 Patrick's getting married. 9 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,651 And the phone is down. 10 00:00:25,695 --> 00:00:28,350 I feel like he and Christy just broke up. 11 00:00:28,393 --> 00:00:29,525 They did. 12 00:00:29,568 --> 00:00:31,048 Men are pigs. 13 00:00:31,092 --> 00:00:33,181 Unless he reconnected with a long-lost love. 14 00:00:33,224 --> 00:00:35,183 In that case, aw. 15 00:00:35,226 --> 00:00:37,011 It's the fitness model. 16 00:00:37,054 --> 00:00:39,187 He hid the ring in her "a-sigh" bowl. 17 00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:41,232 It thought it was "a-kye." 18 00:00:41,276 --> 00:00:43,060 You're both wrong. It's "ah-sigh-ee." 19 00:00:43,104 --> 00:00:45,236 Who cares how you say it? 20 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,064 It's just sherbert. 21 00:00:47,108 --> 00:00:48,805 Actually, it's "sher-bit." 22 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,068 Okay, good-bye. 23 00:00:51,112 --> 00:00:52,853 Stop. 24 00:00:52,896 --> 00:00:55,029 How's Christy taking it? 25 00:00:55,072 --> 00:00:56,465 She doesn't know. 26 00:00:56,508 --> 00:00:58,467 Welcome to the aforementioned dilemma. 27 00:00:58,510 --> 00:00:59,903 Why haven't you told her? 28 00:00:59,947 --> 00:01:02,471 Because Adam's taking me away for a romantic weekend 29 00:01:02,514 --> 00:01:04,212 at a spa resort in Reno. 30 00:01:04,255 --> 00:01:05,082 Ooh... Oh... Oh... 31 00:01:05,126 --> 00:01:07,824 In theory, "Oh..." 32 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,782 But how can I enjoy making sweet love to Adam 33 00:01:09,826 --> 00:01:11,219 in our room with partial mountain view 34 00:01:11,262 --> 00:01:13,699 when I keep getting FaceTimed by a puffy-eyed Christy? 35 00:01:14,962 --> 00:01:16,137 Partial view? 36 00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:18,139 I thought he loved you. 37 00:01:18,182 --> 00:01:20,414 Go back to your phone. 38 00:01:20,419 --> 00:01:22,247 Bonnie, part of being a mother 39 00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:24,119 is putting your child before you. 40 00:01:24,162 --> 00:01:25,773 That child is 40 years old, 41 00:01:25,816 --> 00:01:28,645 and this child has never had a hot stone massage. 42 00:01:30,168 --> 00:01:31,648 Oh, Marjorie, it's just two days. 43 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,302 Let her have some fun. 44 00:01:33,345 --> 00:01:35,739 She's looking at a lifetime of partial views. 45 00:01:35,783 --> 00:01:37,654 Exactly. I can just as easily 46 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,612 crush my daughter's world on Monday. 47 00:01:39,656 --> 00:01:42,572 And maybe bring her a Reno snow globe to soften the blow. 48 00:01:42,615 --> 00:01:43,878 She hates those things. 49 00:01:43,921 --> 00:01:46,097 Not everyone does. 50 00:01:48,926 --> 00:01:50,580 [whispers]: Dilemma over. I think she knows. 51 00:01:50,623 --> 00:01:52,625 We can't be sure. It might be something I did. 52 00:01:52,669 --> 00:01:54,149 Oh, please be something I did. 53 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:56,586 What's the matter, honey? 54 00:01:56,629 --> 00:01:58,588 Patrick's getting married. 55 00:01:58,631 --> 00:02:00,938 [sniffles] He posted on Instagram. 56 00:02:00,982 --> 00:02:04,072 He gave her a ring in an "ah-cha-chi" bowl. 57 00:02:04,115 --> 00:02:05,726 Actually... 58 00:02:05,769 --> 00:02:06,857 Let her have this. 59 00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,862 ♪♪ 60 00:02:28,187 --> 00:02:29,841 ♪♪ 61 00:02:33,541 --> 00:02:35,194 [blows] 62 00:02:38,023 --> 00:02:39,634 You want a hit? 63 00:02:39,677 --> 00:02:42,985 No. No, thanks. I already had a log of cookie dough for lunch. 64 00:02:44,552 --> 00:02:46,118 I just don't understand 65 00:02:46,162 --> 00:02:48,947 how Patrick can get over me so fast. 66 00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:51,297 I'm a catch. 67 00:02:51,302 --> 00:02:54,262 It's not you-- my brother just can't live alone. 68 00:02:54,305 --> 00:02:56,438 So what, he'll just marry anyone? 69 00:02:56,481 --> 00:02:58,788 What do the towels in his bathroom say? 70 00:02:58,831 --> 00:03:00,746 "His and Whoever"? 71 00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:04,272 Babe, you're just taking shorts and T-shirts to Reno, right? 72 00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:07,013 Yeah. It's gonna be hot. Oh. It's gonna be hot. 73 00:03:08,089 --> 00:03:09,438 Oh. Right. 74 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,396 [whispers]: It's gonna be so hot. 75 00:03:12,745 --> 00:03:14,356 I can still hear you. 76 00:03:14,399 --> 00:03:16,227 Honey, are you gonna be okay this weekend? 77 00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:17,968 Why don't you make plans with the girls? 78 00:03:18,011 --> 00:03:19,970 Jill's busy, Wendy's working, 79 00:03:20,013 --> 00:03:22,146 and Marjorie and Victor are spending the weekend 80 00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:23,756 rediscovering their love. 81 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,019 Oosh. Ugh. [shudders] 82 00:03:27,630 --> 00:03:30,111 [sighs] I need some chocolate syrup. 83 00:03:30,154 --> 00:03:32,504 This isn't sweet enough. 84 00:03:32,548 --> 00:03:34,202 I'm worried about her. 85 00:03:34,245 --> 00:03:36,465 Me, too. You think we should postpone this trip? 86 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,989 No way. I can still worry about her while I'm on top of you 87 00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:40,643 looking at some mountain and some parking lot. 88 00:03:40,686 --> 00:03:43,211 You know, honey, we could go away together anytime. 89 00:03:43,254 --> 00:03:45,126 I would not take it personally 90 00:03:45,169 --> 00:03:46,779 if you went with her instead of me. 91 00:03:46,823 --> 00:03:49,217 [clicks tongue] You're so sweet. 92 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:50,783 So what's the sporting event 93 00:03:50,827 --> 00:03:52,829 you don't want to miss this weekend? 94 00:03:52,872 --> 00:03:54,918 I'll admit, when I booked this trip, 95 00:03:54,961 --> 00:03:57,138 that I did not know Edmonton and Calgary 96 00:03:57,181 --> 00:03:58,965 would make it to a game seven. 97 00:03:59,009 --> 00:04:00,880 And let me guess-- those two teams 98 00:04:00,924 --> 00:04:02,578 don't like each other very much. 99 00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:04,754 Oh, it's gonna get a little chippy. 100 00:04:04,797 --> 00:04:06,799 But I really do think that you should take her 101 00:04:06,843 --> 00:04:08,192 and get her mind off Patrick. 102 00:04:08,236 --> 00:04:09,541 Trust me, she's gonna be okay. 103 00:04:09,585 --> 00:04:10,934 She's stronger than she looks, 104 00:04:10,977 --> 00:04:13,502 thanks to a lifetime of disappointment. 105 00:04:14,764 --> 00:04:16,592 We didn't have any chocolate syrup, 106 00:04:16,635 --> 00:04:20,117 so I just rolled it in sugar and Froot Loops. 107 00:04:21,292 --> 00:04:24,730 I might have invented something great. 108 00:04:24,774 --> 00:04:27,037 ♪♪ 109 00:04:28,995 --> 00:04:30,954 You are so lucky to have Adam. 110 00:04:30,997 --> 00:04:33,739 What a sweet guy to give up his trip for me. 111 00:04:33,783 --> 00:04:35,611 He shouldn't get the credit for this. 112 00:04:35,654 --> 00:04:37,265 This was my idea. 113 00:04:37,308 --> 00:04:39,571 He pushed back pretty hard, but I said, "No, 114 00:04:39,615 --> 00:04:41,965 my Christy needs this." 115 00:04:42,008 --> 00:04:45,186 I half believed you until you said "my Christy." 116 00:04:46,665 --> 00:04:48,580 Yeah, I got greedy. 117 00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:51,627 You know, it'd be a lot easier for you to forget Patrick 118 00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:53,629 if you got off his Instagram page. 119 00:04:53,672 --> 00:04:55,457 I'm not looking at him. 120 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,676 I'm looking at the giant ring he gave her. 121 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,809 How many karats do you think that is? 122 00:05:00,984 --> 00:05:02,594 Am I focusing on the massive one 123 00:05:02,638 --> 00:05:04,770 in the middle or the little ones worshipping it? 124 00:05:04,814 --> 00:05:06,381 Not helpful. 125 00:05:06,424 --> 00:05:08,905 All it tells me is someone's overcompensating. 126 00:05:08,948 --> 00:05:10,428 Actually, no. 127 00:05:10,472 --> 00:05:13,170 He was pretty good in that department. Really? 128 00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:16,478 He looks like a guy who'd have a wee dingle. 129 00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:18,480 A wee dingle? 130 00:05:18,523 --> 00:05:22,048 Yeah. Like a strawberry peeking up out of the leaves. 131 00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:23,789 You can tell by looking at a guy? 132 00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:26,836 Measure the distance between their eyes, multiply by three. 133 00:05:28,707 --> 00:05:31,275 This is what it would look like on me. 134 00:05:33,016 --> 00:05:34,931 Yeah, but if you took the ring, 135 00:05:34,974 --> 00:05:37,107 you'd have to take the guy that came with it, 136 00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:38,456 and you didn't want him. 137 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:41,416 [sighs] You know what? You're right. 138 00:05:41,459 --> 00:05:42,678 I'm always right. 139 00:05:42,721 --> 00:05:46,595 Name one other time you were right, ever. 140 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,597 Titanic. 141 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,295 What, that you didn't go on it? 142 00:05:51,339 --> 00:05:52,905 The movie. 143 00:05:52,949 --> 00:05:54,951 Everyone said it was no good, 144 00:05:54,994 --> 00:05:57,562 and I said, "Give this little boat picture a try." 145 00:05:57,606 --> 00:05:59,303 What are you talking about? 146 00:05:59,347 --> 00:06:01,871 It's the most popular movie of all time. 147 00:06:01,914 --> 00:06:03,264 Thanks to me. 148 00:06:06,223 --> 00:06:11,184 ♪ Somewhere out there 149 00:06:11,228 --> 00:06:16,507 ♪ Beneath the pale moonlight 150 00:06:16,512 --> 00:06:18,035 ♪ Why 151 00:06:18,079 --> 00:06:19,819 ♪ Do, dah-dah, dee... 152 00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,256 What are you doing? 153 00:06:21,299 --> 00:06:23,171 I'm singing the Titanic song. 154 00:06:23,214 --> 00:06:25,260 That's Fievel, the mouse from An American Tail. 155 00:06:25,303 --> 00:06:27,305 We'll rent it tonight. You'll see. 156 00:06:28,524 --> 00:06:30,526 Ooh! Ice cream. 157 00:06:30,569 --> 00:06:32,049 What? We're almost there. 158 00:06:32,093 --> 00:06:33,790 DQ! DQ! Exit, exit, exit! 159 00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:36,009 No! You can get ice cream at the hotel. 160 00:06:36,053 --> 00:06:38,142 We came here to make me feel better, 161 00:06:38,186 --> 00:06:40,449 and a chocolate Blizzard would make me feel better. 162 00:06:40,492 --> 00:06:41,972 [chanting]: DQ! DQ! 163 00:06:42,015 --> 00:06:43,626 DQ! DQ! DQ! 164 00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:45,845 DQ! DQ! This may be why I disappeared so much 165 00:06:45,889 --> 00:06:47,282 when you were a kid. DQ! DQ! 166 00:06:47,325 --> 00:06:50,372 DQ! DQ! DQ! DQ! 167 00:06:50,415 --> 00:06:57,161 ♪ Even though I know how very far apart we are ♪ 168 00:06:57,205 --> 00:07:00,295 ♪ It makes me happy to think 169 00:07:00,338 --> 00:07:05,169 ♪ We might be wishing on the same star... ♪ 170 00:07:05,213 --> 00:07:07,389 What is happening here? 171 00:07:07,432 --> 00:07:11,132 Love theme from Titanic. 172 00:07:12,524 --> 00:07:14,613 What can I do you for, Officer? 173 00:07:14,657 --> 00:07:17,268 Any reason you don't have plates on this car? 174 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,096 We don't? [chuckles] 175 00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:20,576 Well, uh, daughter's car. 176 00:07:20,619 --> 00:07:22,012 She's inside getting ice cream. 177 00:07:22,055 --> 00:07:23,927 You're gonna have to take it up with her. 178 00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:27,800 You're the only one here, so I'm taking it up with you. 179 00:07:27,844 --> 00:07:29,933 Okay. [inhales sharply] 180 00:07:29,976 --> 00:07:32,414 If I had to hazard a guess-- new car, 181 00:07:32,457 --> 00:07:35,330 plates are probably in a pile of unopened bills on her desk, 182 00:07:35,373 --> 00:07:37,027 and if you bug her about it, 183 00:07:37,070 --> 00:07:38,855 you're gonna get a bit of an earful. 184 00:07:38,898 --> 00:07:41,336 Hmm. License and registration. 185 00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:45,644 Man, must be a slow crime day in... nowhere. 186 00:07:45,688 --> 00:07:48,517 This make you feel like a big man? 187 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,953 [handcuffs click] 188 00:07:49,996 --> 00:07:51,476 Ow! Pinchy! Pinchy! 189 00:07:53,826 --> 00:07:56,264 I was gone for five minutes! 190 00:07:56,307 --> 00:07:57,961 What did you do? 191 00:07:58,004 --> 00:08:00,529 I ran out on some parking tickets 20 years ago, 192 00:08:00,572 --> 00:08:02,792 which wasn't a problem until we came to Nevada, 193 00:08:02,835 --> 00:08:04,993 and you didn't put your license plates on! 194 00:08:04,998 --> 00:08:06,957 I told you I'll get to it. 195 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,872 Oh. Okay then. No hurry. 196 00:08:08,915 --> 00:08:11,222 All right, let's go. 197 00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:14,834 Wait, wait, wait. Give me a lick of that before they lock me up. 198 00:08:14,878 --> 00:08:17,185 Ooh. Brain freeze! Brain freeze! 199 00:08:24,483 --> 00:08:27,790 Can you actually type with those sausages? 200 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,576 I do all right. 201 00:08:30,919 --> 00:08:32,530 Well, pick up the pace. 202 00:08:32,573 --> 00:08:34,532 We've got hot stone massages at 5:00. 203 00:08:34,575 --> 00:08:36,577 I told you, this one's got a mouth on her. 204 00:08:36,621 --> 00:08:38,666 Check out the space between his eyes. 205 00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:40,102 Hey, hey, 206 00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:41,843 no talking in code. 207 00:08:43,497 --> 00:08:45,456 Listen, Officer, this is all my fault. 208 00:08:45,499 --> 00:08:47,936 I'm the one who forgot to put the plates on my car. 209 00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:49,329 Hey, Sarg, you want me to write her up for that? 210 00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:50,548 I could write her up for that. 211 00:08:50,591 --> 00:08:52,027 Look, Terry, 212 00:08:52,071 --> 00:08:54,203 why don't you head over to the middle school, 213 00:08:54,247 --> 00:08:56,728 and see if they finished repainting that crosswalk? 214 00:08:56,771 --> 00:09:00,166 On it. Call me if things go sideways with String Bean. 215 00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:01,559 That's you. 216 00:09:01,602 --> 00:09:03,299 We have codes, too. 217 00:09:08,335 --> 00:09:10,990 All right, Ms. Plunkett, follow me. 218 00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:14,254 Oh. Oh, come on. 219 00:09:14,297 --> 00:09:16,778 Is this really necessary? Can't we just pay? 220 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:19,912 Oh, sure, if you have $2,185. 221 00:09:19,955 --> 00:09:23,437 Get in there. 222 00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:25,439 If you don't want me in here for murder, call Adam, 223 00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:26,962 have him transfer the money to your account, 224 00:09:27,006 --> 00:09:28,660 and then go to an ATM and get it. 225 00:09:28,703 --> 00:09:31,097 Is there a bank nearby? 226 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:34,100 No, but there's a hotel 12 miles south of here 227 00:09:34,143 --> 00:09:35,928 with a high-limit ATM. 228 00:09:35,971 --> 00:09:38,670 Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can. 229 00:09:38,713 --> 00:09:40,498 Hey, real quick. 230 00:09:40,541 --> 00:09:44,023 Isn't that a lot of ring for someone you just met? 231 00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:46,112 Go! Right, right. 232 00:09:46,155 --> 00:09:47,592 Hotel, 12 miles north. 233 00:09:47,635 --> 00:09:50,290 South! South! Got it. 234 00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:53,989 So which gang do I have to join to survive in here? 235 00:09:57,384 --> 00:10:00,779 [laughing]: Wait. She's actually in a little jail cell 236 00:10:00,822 --> 00:10:02,607 like Otis the drunk? 237 00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:04,478 I don't know who that is. 238 00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:07,481 You know, Mayberry? Andy Griffith, Opie. 239 00:10:07,525 --> 00:10:09,483 CHRISTY: Adam. It's so funny. 240 00:10:09,527 --> 00:10:12,660 Otis would get drunk and then lock himself in the cell. 241 00:10:12,704 --> 00:10:15,010 Boy, self, cell, that's hard to say. 242 00:10:15,054 --> 00:10:18,492 Do you get high the minute my mom goes out of town? 243 00:10:18,536 --> 00:10:20,363 Eh, pretty much. 244 00:10:20,407 --> 00:10:23,149 Can you transfer the bail money or not? 245 00:10:23,192 --> 00:10:25,064 On one condition: you get a video of her 246 00:10:25,107 --> 00:10:27,545 raking a tin cup across the bars. [laughs] 247 00:10:27,588 --> 00:10:29,198 I don't get that either. 248 00:10:29,242 --> 00:10:31,200 Stop being old and just send me the money. 249 00:10:31,244 --> 00:10:33,507 Yeah, yeah. How much was it again? 250 00:10:33,551 --> 00:10:36,902 $2,150. 251 00:10:36,945 --> 00:10:39,034 I can handle the rest. 252 00:10:39,078 --> 00:10:40,427 Well, how much is the rest? 253 00:10:40,471 --> 00:10:43,038 $35. 254 00:10:43,082 --> 00:10:45,650 I'll send it right now. 255 00:10:45,693 --> 00:10:47,739 Thanks. Bye. 256 00:10:47,782 --> 00:10:50,524 [crowd cheering on TV] 257 00:10:50,568 --> 00:10:53,701 [chuckles] 258 00:10:53,745 --> 00:10:56,574 Mmm. 259 00:10:56,617 --> 00:10:58,706 [chuckles] 260 00:11:01,492 --> 00:11:03,494 Oh, yeah. 261 00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:13,765 Uh... 262 00:11:13,808 --> 00:11:15,375 Can I ask you a question? 263 00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:18,683 I don't know. I'm pretty busy in here. 264 00:11:18,726 --> 00:11:23,078 How did you rack up 17 parking tickets over one weekend? 265 00:11:23,122 --> 00:11:26,821 What the hell was going on December, 1999? 266 00:11:26,865 --> 00:11:28,257 Y2K was going on. 267 00:11:28,301 --> 00:11:30,303 A lot of dummies thought the world was gonna end. 268 00:11:30,346 --> 00:11:32,566 Not just dummies. 269 00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:34,699 Continue. 270 00:11:34,742 --> 00:11:39,181 I had this boyfriend, Dale-- Dwayne... 271 00:11:39,225 --> 00:11:41,401 that doesn't matter. 272 00:11:41,444 --> 00:11:43,142 Anyway we realized, people freaking out, 273 00:11:43,185 --> 00:11:44,709 good time to sell a lot of drugs. 274 00:11:44,752 --> 00:11:47,102 So we hopped in our car with our hearts full of hope 275 00:11:47,146 --> 00:11:49,583 and a trash bag full of Mexican Quaaludes. 276 00:11:49,627 --> 00:11:53,239 You do know you have the right to remain silent? 277 00:11:53,282 --> 00:11:55,546 Yeah, that's never been my thing. 278 00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,939 Anyway, we promptly got really high 279 00:11:57,983 --> 00:11:59,593 and forgot where we parked the car. 280 00:11:59,637 --> 00:12:01,116 Donny. 281 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,641 No. [ringtone plays] 282 00:12:06,065 --> 00:12:08,197 Hey, honey. 283 00:12:08,241 --> 00:12:11,200 [sighs] What'd she do now? 284 00:12:11,244 --> 00:12:14,290 Oh, God. 285 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,162 No. I-I can't pick her up. 286 00:12:16,205 --> 00:12:19,339 I have someone in the cell. 287 00:12:19,382 --> 00:12:21,384 Well, then, just let her sit there. 288 00:12:21,428 --> 00:12:24,213 That'll teach her... something? 289 00:12:24,257 --> 00:12:26,215 [sighs] 290 00:12:26,259 --> 00:12:27,652 Yeah, a-all right. All right. 291 00:12:27,695 --> 00:12:29,262 I-I got to go. 292 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,050 What'd she do? 293 00:12:35,094 --> 00:12:36,878 Huh? What? 294 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,489 I know what a "my daughter screwed up" 295 00:12:38,532 --> 00:12:39,794 phone call sounds like. 296 00:12:39,838 --> 00:12:41,404 You got one, too? 297 00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:42,710 You just met her. 298 00:12:42,754 --> 00:12:44,364 Oh, she seemed okay. 299 00:12:44,407 --> 00:12:47,062 Yeah, sure, now, after I cleaned her up. 300 00:12:47,106 --> 00:12:49,238 I pretty much saved her life. 301 00:12:49,282 --> 00:12:51,632 Drugs, alcohol, stripping, gambling-- 302 00:12:51,676 --> 00:12:53,504 name a problem, she's had it. 303 00:12:53,547 --> 00:12:55,270 Gambling? 304 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,496 We lost our house 'cause the Packers didn't cover. 305 00:12:58,539 --> 00:13:00,541 Huh. What? 306 00:13:00,585 --> 00:13:03,239 Well, I just sent her 307 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,025 to an ATM machine in the middle of a casino. 308 00:13:07,548 --> 00:13:10,725 Huh. 309 00:13:10,769 --> 00:13:12,771 ♪♪ 310 00:13:21,693 --> 00:13:24,696 [cheering] 311 00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:30,266 Mom's in jail. Mom's in jail. 312 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,398 Mom's in jail. 313 00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:40,924 Oh, God. 314 00:13:40,929 --> 00:13:42,844 Oh, come on. It's not the end of the world. 315 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:44,367 I took a swing at my teacher 316 00:13:44,411 --> 00:13:45,673 when I was your daughter's age. 317 00:13:45,717 --> 00:13:48,589 And look at you now. 318 00:13:50,243 --> 00:13:51,853 I just don't get it. 319 00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:54,682 For 15 years, Sarah was my little girl. 320 00:13:54,726 --> 00:13:56,728 She told me everything. 321 00:13:56,771 --> 00:13:59,121 And one day, she walks into her bedroom, 322 00:13:59,165 --> 00:14:00,819 she closes the door, 323 00:14:00,862 --> 00:14:03,169 and I haven't seen her since. 324 00:14:03,212 --> 00:14:05,606 I got news for you, it's only gonna get harder. 325 00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:07,347 But don't give up on her. 326 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:09,262 Sure, you're gonna want to pack your bags and take off, 327 00:14:09,305 --> 00:14:11,612 leave her to fend for herself, and who could blame you? 328 00:14:11,656 --> 00:14:13,527 Who does that to a child? 329 00:14:15,094 --> 00:14:18,227 No one. 330 00:14:18,271 --> 00:14:21,013 You kinda sounded like you were ready to split. 331 00:14:21,056 --> 00:14:23,015 I just said it was hard. All right, all right. 332 00:14:23,058 --> 00:14:24,930 I was just working with what you were giving me. 333 00:14:24,973 --> 00:14:27,280 Another soda? 334 00:14:27,323 --> 00:14:28,977 I'm good. 335 00:14:34,113 --> 00:14:35,854 So what's to stop me from just 336 00:14:35,897 --> 00:14:37,420 making a run for it right now? 337 00:14:37,464 --> 00:14:39,074 Nothing, really. 338 00:14:39,118 --> 00:14:41,250 But it's 110 degrees out there 339 00:14:41,294 --> 00:14:43,078 and we're in the middle of nowhere. 340 00:14:43,122 --> 00:14:45,864 Right. Right. 341 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,964 [cheering] 342 00:15:01,619 --> 00:15:02,968 Yo-leven! [cheering] 343 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:08,930 Don't you leave, sugar, you're my good luck. 344 00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,279 Let her ride! 345 00:15:10,323 --> 00:15:12,325 [cheering] 346 00:15:20,028 --> 00:15:22,074 [gasping] 347 00:15:22,117 --> 00:15:25,120 It's... 348 00:15:25,164 --> 00:15:26,992 hot out there. 349 00:15:32,954 --> 00:15:34,521 You see any snakes? 350 00:15:34,565 --> 00:15:35,914 Six. 351 00:15:35,957 --> 00:15:37,176 Yeah. 352 00:15:43,225 --> 00:15:44,923 Come on, baby, work with me. 353 00:15:44,966 --> 00:15:47,316 Anything but seven. Anything but seven. 354 00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:50,189 Seven out. 355 00:15:50,232 --> 00:15:53,627 No! That's my mom's bail money! 356 00:15:53,671 --> 00:15:55,934 I can give you a coupon to the buffet. 357 00:15:55,977 --> 00:15:58,806 Can I bet it? 358 00:16:02,331 --> 00:16:03,768 You are paying me a hundred dollars an hour; 359 00:16:03,811 --> 00:16:05,552 at some point, we should probably work on your serve. 360 00:16:05,596 --> 00:16:07,641 Oh, please, we both know 361 00:16:07,685 --> 00:16:09,251 I'm a better tennis player than you. 362 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,372 [ringtone plays] 363 00:16:13,491 --> 00:16:15,057 [sighs] 364 00:16:15,101 --> 00:16:16,450 Oh, my God, what? 365 00:16:16,494 --> 00:16:18,626 I'm in the middle of a tennis lesson. 366 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:20,933 I am so sorry, but it's an emergency. 367 00:16:20,976 --> 00:16:22,456 My mom just got arrested 368 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,110 and I need to borrow two grand for bail. 369 00:16:24,153 --> 00:16:26,329 Arrested? CHRISTY: Yeah. 370 00:16:26,373 --> 00:16:28,114 It happened five minutes ago. 371 00:16:28,157 --> 00:16:30,333 You're the first person I thought of to call. 372 00:16:30,377 --> 00:16:32,858 Aw. Aw. 373 00:16:34,642 --> 00:16:36,601 Text me something about your account. 374 00:16:36,644 --> 00:16:38,516 I got to go. Bye. 375 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:44,391 This is her last year. 376 00:16:44,435 --> 00:16:46,001 She's adorable. 377 00:16:46,045 --> 00:16:47,916 This is her now. 378 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,353 Wow, that's a lot of eyeliner. 379 00:16:50,397 --> 00:16:53,139 Yeah, and you really notice it 380 00:16:53,182 --> 00:16:55,358 since she shaved her head. 381 00:16:55,402 --> 00:16:58,753 Uh, Christy was a pretty difficult teenager, too, 382 00:16:58,797 --> 00:17:01,626 though some of that was hormones from the pregnancy. 383 00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:03,671 Oh, God. Just keep trying. 384 00:17:03,715 --> 00:17:05,194 She's gonna keep pushing you away, 385 00:17:05,238 --> 00:17:07,501 but one day that bedroom door will open again 386 00:17:07,545 --> 00:17:09,460 and she'll be glad you're standing there. 387 00:17:09,503 --> 00:17:10,678 I hope you're right. 388 00:17:10,722 --> 00:17:13,507 I'm always right. 389 00:17:13,551 --> 00:17:15,596 Never in a million years would I have thought 390 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,511 I'd have such a wonderful, loving relationship 391 00:17:17,555 --> 00:17:19,034 with my daughter. CHRISTY: Mom. 392 00:17:19,078 --> 00:17:20,340 Where the hell have you been? 393 00:17:20,383 --> 00:17:22,037 I thought you left me here to rot! 394 00:17:22,081 --> 00:17:24,649 Darling. 395 00:17:24,692 --> 00:17:26,172 I'm sorry. 396 00:17:26,215 --> 00:17:28,130 We'll talk about it in the car. Pay the man. 397 00:17:28,174 --> 00:17:29,828 I can't. 398 00:17:32,221 --> 00:17:35,616 Oh, God, Christy, you gambled Adam's money. 399 00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:37,792 I did. [sighs] 400 00:17:37,836 --> 00:17:39,533 So then I called Jill. 401 00:17:39,577 --> 00:17:42,667 And you gambled Jill's money, too? 402 00:17:42,710 --> 00:17:45,434 It all happened so fast. 403 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:49,138 I'm not sure I understand pai gow. 404 00:17:49,182 --> 00:17:53,081 So what, I'm gonna do hard time for parking tickets? 405 00:17:53,086 --> 00:17:55,436 Yes... 'cause your daughter's a loser. 406 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,351 That's why Patrick didn't want to be with me, 407 00:17:57,395 --> 00:17:59,092 that's why I didn't get into law school, 408 00:17:59,135 --> 00:18:00,876 that's why I hit on a soft 19. 409 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,402 Oof. I know, right? 410 00:18:04,745 --> 00:18:08,706 Okay. Well, what time's dinner? 411 00:18:08,749 --> 00:18:10,621 You know, Bonnie, 412 00:18:10,664 --> 00:18:13,536 these computers can be a bit glitchy. 413 00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:15,190 Damn it, Gene, I've got enough on my plate 414 00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:17,932 without worrying about your problems. 415 00:18:17,976 --> 00:18:20,195 I'm saying, 416 00:18:20,239 --> 00:18:22,458 maybe your arrest record 417 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,373 somehow disappeared. 418 00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:25,697 How about... 419 00:18:25,697 --> 00:18:27,655 you take care of your daughter, 420 00:18:27,699 --> 00:18:29,483 I'll go take care of mine? 421 00:18:29,527 --> 00:18:30,702 Really? 422 00:18:30,745 --> 00:18:32,094 Really. 423 00:18:32,138 --> 00:18:33,748 Christy, go outside and pull the car right up 424 00:18:33,792 --> 00:18:35,750 to the front door and blast the air conditioning. 425 00:18:35,794 --> 00:18:37,404 That I can do. 426 00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:39,232 Watch out for snakes. 427 00:18:43,236 --> 00:18:44,455 Thank you. 428 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:47,283 And hang in there with your daughter. 429 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:48,676 Don't be discouraged by this. 430 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,851 Roger that. 431 00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:51,462 Bonnie? 432 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:52,593 Yeah. 433 00:18:52,637 --> 00:18:55,596 Never come back to Nevada. 434 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,120 I'll add it to the list. 435 00:19:06,872 --> 00:19:08,700 Hey, you missed the exit for the spa. 436 00:19:08,743 --> 00:19:09,962 We can't go to the spa. 437 00:19:10,005 --> 00:19:11,050 Why not? 438 00:19:11,093 --> 00:19:12,443 Because I don't deserve it. 439 00:19:13,748 --> 00:19:16,186 Stupid pai gow. 440 00:19:16,229 --> 00:19:17,796 I do. I'm covered in jail stink, 441 00:19:17,839 --> 00:19:19,058 and I'm getting a salt scrub. 442 00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:20,581 I don't know what it is, I may hate it, 443 00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:21,974 but I'm getting it. 444 00:19:22,017 --> 00:19:23,758 Followed by a selection of artisanal cheeses 445 00:19:23,802 --> 00:19:25,238 I saw on the website. 446 00:19:26,587 --> 00:19:28,285 That does sound nice. 447 00:19:28,328 --> 00:19:29,982 Oh, no cheese for you. You're staying in the room. 448 00:19:30,025 --> 00:19:31,810 You can look out the window, but only at the parking lot, 449 00:19:31,853 --> 00:19:33,072 not at the mountain. 450 00:19:34,378 --> 00:19:36,118 That seems fair. 451 00:19:36,162 --> 00:19:38,425 Okay, I'll double back. 452 00:19:44,692 --> 00:19:46,651 [siren chirps] 453 00:19:46,694 --> 00:19:48,261 Son of a bitch. 454 00:19:48,305 --> 00:19:50,611 You didn't do anything illegal in Nevada, did you? 455 00:19:52,309 --> 00:19:54,093 I guess we're gonna find out.