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Previously on Mom...
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Do you remember Bonnie Plunkett?
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- Bonnie.
- I'm her daughter.
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- Oh, my God.
- I'm your daughter.
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Yeah, yeah, I got that.
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So, did Christy tell you
about meeting her father?
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Yeah, I thought it was
great they reconnected.
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Wow. Anything to hurt me.
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What are you talking about?
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Do I need to walk you
through it again? That rat
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bastard dumped me and Christy
the minute she was born.
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No, I get it.
You're angry.
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"Angry"? I want to cut the son
of a bitch from throat to scrote.
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- What do you think?
- What do I think of what?
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- Your new car.
- You're kidding me.
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No, no.
I got it at a police auction.
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Cleaned it up.
Look at that door.
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You can't even see the bullet holes.
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Listen, I decided I don't
want to have a party.
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What are you talking about?
It's a celebration.
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It's fun and games and
free stuff for the baby.
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- I don't need it.
- Okay. May I ask why?
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I decided to give the
baby up for adoption.
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- I'm kind of liking these people.
- Jeff and Suzanne Taylor.
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So...
you want to adopt a baby?
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- Yes, we do.
- You're in luck! We have one.
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Wow.
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When did gay men start
designing maternity clothes?
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Did you ever have a reason to wear
sequins while you were pregnant?
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Mmm, not after I was
too big to pole dance.
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I still remember the night I slid down
and couldn't get back up.
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- Seriously?
- I was like a turtle on its back.
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How you doing in there, Violet?
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I hate my body and I hate this dress.
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Oh, come on, it can't be that bad.
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Whoa!
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Yikes.
That's an interesting place
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to put a bow on a pregnant girl.
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Oh, God,
there's one on her ass, too.
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Who am I kidding?
I can't go to prom.
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Oh, honey, you got to go.
It's such a big night.
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- I look ridiculous.
- Not all of you.
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Just the middle.
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I don't care. I'm not going.
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All right, well, it's your call.
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You can just stay home
with Grandma and me.
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That would be fun. We
can hang out, get a pizza.
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- Maybe play a board game?
- Give each other pedicures?
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Turn off the lights
and tell ghost stories.
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We traced the call.
It's coming from inside the house!
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Screw it. There's got to be
a dress around here somewhere.
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Actually sounds like a fun night.
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I know.
What happened to us?
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1x21 - "Broken Dreams and Blocked Arteries"
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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What a treat.
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Having a cup of coffee
with my Mom and my Dad.
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Blech!
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- Can't you just fake it?
- She knows how.
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And whose fault is that?
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Play nice.
And ew.
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So... how are things
going with you and Loraine?
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Not good.
She filed for divorce.
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Really? There's not a chance
you could work things out?
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I went back to the house
last Saturday to see
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if we could reconcile and...
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a man I don't know answered
the door in my pajamas.
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Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
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- Mom! Stop smiling.
- Oh, let me have this.
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Anyway, turns out they were
high school sweethearts.
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Found each other online.
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Tweeted their way back
into each other's pants.
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Wow.
That has got to be so painful.
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- Mom! The smile?
- I didn't even realize it.
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The good news is with the
boys grown up and gone,
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I have no reason to be in Chico,
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so I can spend more time
with you and the kids.
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Not smiling now, are you?
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- Hey.
- Hey!
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Your mom tells me you
got a prom coming up.
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- Mm-hmm.
- That sounds like fun.
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- Yeah.
- What's the theme?
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"Broken condoms, broken dreams""
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Ah, okay.
Well, you got a shot at being the queen.
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- Ha!
- Hang on.
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When my sons went to
prom, I rented them limos.
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How about I do the same
for you and your fella?
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- Really?
- Yeah, you got to do prom right.
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- Wow. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
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I'll go call my fella.
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I got a hug.
The iceberg is melting.
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You sicken me.
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- What did I do?
- Don't be coy.
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- You're using money to buy her affection.
- And it's working.
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Why don't you try earning her love
by being there, like I have?
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You're kidding, right?
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You only beat him by, like, nine months.
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Pick a side.
You got to pick a side.
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Bonnie, I'm just trying to do
a nice thing for my granddaughter.
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Well, quit it. You don't
get to drop into our
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lives after all these
years and make people happy.
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- Are you listening to yourself?
- She never listens to herself.
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What's wrong with me
throwing a little money around
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- to help out here?
- Nothing at all.
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FYI: Sears is having
a sale on dishwashers.
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Anything to make your life better, baby.
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You're an evil runt.
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Alvin, stop smiling.
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Smile.
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Here you go.
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- I don't get it. It's blank.
- Yeah, give it a minute.
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- It's like magic.
- Told ya.
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Is it a phone, too?
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Yeah, give it a try.
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Call Dad.
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- Yolo.
- Wow.
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Right? And check out the
limo Violet's grandpa got us.
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- Uh-huh.
- The guy's got class.
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- The guy's got syphilis.
- Mom...
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you can call him names,
but you can't make stuff up.
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Come on in, I'll get your date.
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- I said, "Call Dad."
- No idea.
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Violet, Luke's here.
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I'm not going!
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Very funny.
Come on, he's waiting.
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And he rented a tux.
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Tell him to go without me.
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Do you want me to talk to her?
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No, I'm her mother.
I got this.
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Open the damn door, Violet!
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No!
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Hey, I'll handle this.
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Violet, it's me, Luke.
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I brought you flowers and
the limo has Diet Snapple.
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Go away!
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- Tapping out.
- Is something wrong with the dress?
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Something's wrong with my life!
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There's something wrong
with all of our lives, honey.
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But we still go to parties we
bought expensive dresses for.
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Leave me alone!
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Let me try.
Violet, it's grandma.
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I-I just want you to know
that whatever you decide,
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I will be here for
you with the one thing
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your grandfather's money can't buy.
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- Love.
- You think that helped?
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It helped me.
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Guess who?
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What is wrong with you?
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00:08:04,306 --> 00:08:05,756
You really should lock this.
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00:08:05,758 --> 00:08:08,592
There could be weirdos
wandering around out here.
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00:08:08,594 --> 00:08:11,278
There are weirdos
wandering around out there.
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- What do you want?
- All right, listen...
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I know you're feeling self-conscious
about the way you look, and
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you're afraid your friends are
gonna make fun of you, but so what?
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You've carried yourself with dignity
and grace the whole school year.
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And there's no reason
you should stop now.
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- Mom, that's not why...
- No!
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You need to get dressed,
get in the limo with Luke,
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and go to that prom
with your head held high.
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- Mom, I can't...
- You are a great girl!
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And there's nothing to be ashamed of.
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I can't go to prom
'cause I can't stop farting.
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Oh.
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That's what that is.
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All right, well, we can fix this.
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- How we doing in here?
- We need perfume and Gas-X, stat.
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00:08:54,573 --> 00:08:56,573
- I'm on it.
- There.
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- Is anything else bothering you?
- I guess not.
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00:09:01,430 --> 00:09:03,030
Violet...
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00:09:03,032 --> 00:09:05,816
I just feel like I don't
have a lot to celebrate.
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Are you kidding?
You so do!
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00:09:09,372 --> 00:09:11,655
You are gonna graduate high school,
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which is not normally
something to brag about.
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00:09:13,659 --> 00:09:17,544
But in this family, hurray!
And then you're gonna go to college.
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00:09:17,546 --> 00:09:21,181
And after that have
a big, wonderful life.
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But I'm giving up my baby to do it.
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Yeah. You are.
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But let's not forget that the
Taylors are a great couple.
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And that child's gonna have
a big, wonderful life, too.
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I guess. Thanks.
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You're welcome.
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00:09:46,408 --> 00:09:50,511
- What are you smiling about?
- Wait for it.
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00:09:50,513 --> 00:09:53,580
Oh, God!
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00:10:08,347 --> 00:10:11,432
- I'm really glad you decided to come.
- Me, too.
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00:10:11,434 --> 00:10:14,268
- I think you're the prettiest girl here.
- Really?
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00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:17,220
Really.
And I checked all the other girls out.
187
00:10:19,742 --> 00:10:22,559
It's so cool of you to stick
with me through all this.
188
00:10:22,561 --> 00:10:23,577
Why wouldn't I?
189
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:26,163
Are you kidding?
Most guys would've bailed.
190
00:10:26,165 --> 00:10:28,064
Well, I'm not most guys.
191
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:30,784
No, you're not.
192
00:10:30,786 --> 00:10:34,338
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
193
00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:39,937
- Oh! Uh-oh!
- If you're gonna fart,
194
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,912
I can dance us over
to the cheese platter.
195
00:10:41,914 --> 00:10:44,264
No, Luke,
I think I'm having the baby.
196
00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:45,883
- Now?
- I think so.
197
00:10:45,885 --> 00:10:48,886
Okay, remain calm.
Let's get you to the hospital.
198
00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:49,853
Okay, hurry!
199
00:10:49,855 --> 00:10:51,221
Excuse me! Excuse me!
200
00:10:51,223 --> 00:10:53,824
- Please try not to make a scene.
- Don't worry, I got this.
201
00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:55,025
Excuse me!
202
00:11:13,401 --> 00:11:16,686
I'm so glad she decided to go.
203
00:11:16,688 --> 00:11:19,423
You know what the best part is?
You're the only mom who's not
204
00:11:19,424 --> 00:11:22,159
worried about her daughter
getting knocked up on prom night.
205
00:11:22,161 --> 00:11:24,921
Yeah, I get to worry
about her having a nervous
206
00:11:24,922 --> 00:11:27,681
breakdown after she gives
the baby up for adoption.
207
00:11:27,683 --> 00:11:30,584
Ah, she's young, she's resilient.
208
00:11:30,586 --> 00:11:33,537
And if she gets depressed,
she can turn to drugs and alcohol.
209
00:11:33,539 --> 00:11:36,272
You're right, I feel better.
210
00:11:36,274 --> 00:11:38,775
How about we take her
on a little vacation after it's over?
211
00:11:38,777 --> 00:11:40,060
Sure.
212
00:11:40,062 --> 00:11:42,746
You could probably get Daddy
Douche-bucks to pay for it.
213
00:11:42,748 --> 00:11:46,550
That's mean.
And I'm way ahead of you.
214
00:11:49,254 --> 00:11:52,072
Hey, Baxter.
215
00:11:52,074 --> 00:11:55,475
No, Roscoe's not allowed
to watch R-rated movies.
216
00:11:56,177 --> 00:11:59,062
I don't care if it's just boobs!
217
00:11:59,064 --> 00:12:02,298
I don't care if you already paid for it!
218
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:04,734
No, I'm not gonna reimburse you!
219
00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:10,357
Yes, you get credit for calling.
See you tomorrow.
220
00:12:11,577 --> 00:12:14,444
Is the boob thing new?
221
00:12:16,448 --> 00:12:19,783
Now what?
Hello?
222
00:12:21,485 --> 00:12:24,037
Luke?
Slow down!
223
00:12:24,039 --> 00:12:27,924
Okay, okay, uh, stay calm.
We'll meet you there.
224
00:12:27,926 --> 00:12:29,826
- Is this it?
- This is it.
225
00:12:29,828 --> 00:12:32,128
You get her overnight bag.
And we'll take my car.
226
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,266
Oh, we need to call the Taylors!
227
00:12:36,268 --> 00:12:37,684
All right. Where are my keys?
228
00:12:37,686 --> 00:12:39,636
- Where are my keys?
- Let's hit it.
229
00:12:39,638 --> 00:12:41,271
I can't find my damn keys!
230
00:12:41,273 --> 00:12:42,606
You know if you used
the hook I put up...
231
00:12:42,608 --> 00:12:45,642
I don't care about your frickin' hook!
Help me find my keys!
232
00:12:45,644 --> 00:12:46,893
Forget it, we'll take my car.
233
00:12:46,895 --> 00:12:48,895
See? Keys...
right here on the hook.
234
00:12:48,897 --> 00:12:51,347
Fine, you win.
The hook was a good idea!
235
00:12:51,349 --> 00:12:54,150
You're 52 years old and
you've had one good idea!
236
00:12:54,152 --> 00:12:56,185
I am not 52 yet!
237
00:12:56,187 --> 00:12:59,188
Oh, crap!
You're blocking me in.
238
00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:00,874
Well, I told you not
to park in the driveway.
239
00:13:00,876 --> 00:13:03,326
- Why would I park on the street?
- 'Cause you don't pay rent.
240
00:13:03,328 --> 00:13:05,128
When you lived with
me, you didn't pay rent.
241
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:09,365
I was a child!
And you still tried to collect.
242
00:13:09,367 --> 00:13:11,334
Come on, we'll put it in
neutral and push it out.
243
00:13:11,336 --> 00:13:12,719
We can't. It's locked.
244
00:13:12,721 --> 00:13:13,837
Why would you lock it?
245
00:13:13,839 --> 00:13:16,306
Because I want to keep it.
246
00:13:16,308 --> 00:13:17,557
Okay, okay, we need to focus.
247
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:18,925
How about we drive through the fence,
248
00:13:18,927 --> 00:13:21,227
across the neighbor's yard
and out onto Sycamore Street?
249
00:13:21,229 --> 00:13:23,680
That's great except for
the pool in the neighbor's yard.
250
00:13:23,682 --> 00:13:25,682
They have a pool?
Why don't we use it?
251
00:13:25,684 --> 00:13:28,718
- Because it's not our pool!
- I'm not talking when they're home!
252
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,887
Oh, God, uh...
253
00:13:30,889 --> 00:13:32,939
- Maybe we should just call a cab.
- No, that'll take too long.
254
00:13:32,941 --> 00:13:34,724
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna break your window.
255
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:35,725
And we'll push it out.
256
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:38,361
- But Alvin just got me that car!
- I know.
257
00:13:38,363 --> 00:13:40,396
Wait, wait, wait!
258
00:13:40,398 --> 00:13:42,782
- What?
- Found my keys.
259
00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:50,924
Hi, uh, we're looking
for my daughter Violet Plunkett.
260
00:13:50,926 --> 00:13:53,209
- She's having a baby.
- Hang on.
261
00:13:53,211 --> 00:13:57,080
- No one under that name is registered.
- Really?
262
00:13:57,082 --> 00:13:58,882
- Is there a married name?
- I wish.
263
00:13:58,884 --> 00:14:03,419
- Do you think we beat them?
- How?
264
00:14:05,523 --> 00:14:09,025
Luke? Yeah, we're here.
Where are you?
265
00:14:09,027 --> 00:14:11,361
No, you're not here.
266
00:14:11,363 --> 00:14:16,266
Because we're standing at the reception
at Highland Central and you're not here.
267
00:14:16,268 --> 00:14:18,201
What are you doing at Midland Memorial?
268
00:14:18,203 --> 00:14:20,153
He's at Midland?
The plan was for Highland.
269
00:14:20,155 --> 00:14:22,438
Shh! The plan was for Highland!
270
00:14:23,708 --> 00:14:26,442
Oh, it was closer to the prom.
Good thinking.
271
00:14:26,444 --> 00:14:28,628
Okay, good thinking for the limo driver.
272
00:14:28,630 --> 00:14:30,380
Sit tight. We're on our way.
273
00:14:30,382 --> 00:14:32,882
- Oh!
- Ooh! Did she have the baby?
274
00:14:32,884 --> 00:14:35,301
- Not yet. They're at Midland.
- I thought the plan was for Highland.
275
00:14:35,303 --> 00:14:37,837
- Midland was closer to the prom.
- They went to the prom?
276
00:14:37,839 --> 00:14:39,789
She looked beautiful, see?
277
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:42,175
- Oh!
- You have a Polaroid?
278
00:14:42,177 --> 00:14:45,294
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go! Come on!
279
00:14:46,564 --> 00:14:47,897
Excuse me, excuse me!
280
00:14:47,899 --> 00:14:49,733
Violet Plunkett, my
daughter, having a baby.
281
00:14:49,735 --> 00:14:51,518
- Hold on.
- No, I'm not holding on!
282
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,104
- Where is she?
- This man was here before you.
283
00:14:54,106 --> 00:14:56,690
Well, I am sorry, but I have let
my daughter down too many times.
284
00:14:56,692 --> 00:14:57,857
And I am not gonna let it happen again.
285
00:14:57,859 --> 00:15:01,494
- She really has been negligent.
- Right!
286
00:15:01,496 --> 00:15:05,448
Now she really needs her mother.
Where the hell is she?
287
00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:07,083
I'm right here.
288
00:15:07,085 --> 00:15:08,535
False alarm.
289
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,321
Oh.
290
00:15:14,925 --> 00:15:18,511
Please tell me that's a sandwich.
291
00:15:18,513 --> 00:15:21,631
- It's my thumb.
- Ah.
292
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:24,000
Why don't you see him next?
293
00:15:24,002 --> 00:15:26,603
Good luck.
294
00:15:30,975 --> 00:15:34,745
Funny thing.
Not the first time your mom's
295
00:15:34,746 --> 00:15:38,481
- taken a bat to a car window.
- You're kidding.
296
00:15:38,483 --> 00:15:41,067
No, the only difference is I
wasn't in the driver's seat.
297
00:15:42,703 --> 00:15:44,621
He pissed me off.
298
00:15:44,623 --> 00:15:47,624
I'll send my guy over, we can
fix it right here in the driveway.
299
00:15:47,626 --> 00:15:50,076
- Is it gonna be expensive?
- Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
300
00:15:50,078 --> 00:15:51,995
Oh, thanks.
301
00:15:51,997 --> 00:15:54,297
- You're the best.
- Oh, is that how it works?
302
00:15:54,299 --> 00:15:56,916
He throws a few bucks around
and suddenly he's the best?
303
00:15:56,918 --> 00:16:00,536
- That's not how I raised you.
- Oh, it totally is.
304
00:16:01,672 --> 00:16:04,808
Bonnie, don't make a
big deal out of this.
305
00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:06,042
Yeah, no one's talking to you.
306
00:16:06,044 --> 00:16:07,710
You want to write the check?
You write the check.
307
00:16:07,712 --> 00:16:10,680
No, that's your thing.
I love from here.
308
00:16:10,682 --> 00:16:12,565
You love from here.
309
00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:16,853
Hey, I got an idea.
How about you kiss right here?
310
00:16:16,855 --> 00:16:18,605
I don't think I can stoop that low.
311
00:16:18,607 --> 00:16:20,940
- Guys, guys, come on.
- I'm just trying to make things right.
312
00:16:20,942 --> 00:16:22,859
Well, you can't make deserting us right.
313
00:16:22,861 --> 00:16:24,911
- Never.
- Okay, that's enough.
314
00:16:24,913 --> 00:16:27,497
I didn't desert "us."
I deserted you.
315
00:16:27,499 --> 00:16:29,232
She ever tell you some
of the crap she pulled?
316
00:16:29,234 --> 00:16:30,733
- Leave her out of it.
- Why?
317
00:16:30,735 --> 00:16:32,335
Everything I did wrong is fair game.
318
00:16:32,337 --> 00:16:35,297
One time your mommy, who
loves from here, sold my
319
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:38,258
motorcycle behind my back to
cover a drug deal that went bad.
320
00:16:38,260 --> 00:16:41,044
What choice did I have?
Chewie threatened to kill me!
321
00:16:41,046 --> 00:16:42,762
Because you stole his cocaine!
322
00:16:42,764 --> 00:16:45,849
Well, I was trying to
make a better life for us!
323
00:16:45,851 --> 00:16:48,251
Oh, much better.
I woke up with a gun in my mouth!
324
00:16:48,253 --> 00:16:50,353
Have you ever pleaded for your
life with a gun in your mouth?
325
00:16:50,355 --> 00:16:51,387
This is what comes out.
326
00:16:51,389 --> 00:16:53,589
Please don't shoot me!
Please don't shoot me!
327
00:16:53,591 --> 00:16:54,891
That's not how it went down!
328
00:16:54,893 --> 00:16:57,060
How would you know?
You took a handful of Quaaludes
329
00:16:57,062 --> 00:16:58,611
and went swimming in
the neighbor's pool!
330
00:16:58,613 --> 00:17:00,869
Not while they were home.
331
00:17:01,065 --> 00:17:03,449
I'm not saying I didn't make
my share of mistakes,
332
00:17:03,451 --> 00:17:06,286
but I was never stupid enough...
333
00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:08,204
Ooh. Are you okay?
334
00:17:08,206 --> 00:17:11,207
- No, something's wrong.
- Call 911.
335
00:17:11,209 --> 00:17:15,211
Don't you die, you son of a bitch.
We're not done with this.
336
00:17:16,134 --> 00:17:19,332
Hey, uh,
my ex is having a heart attack,
337
00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:22,302
or my prayers are being answered.
338
00:17:22,304 --> 00:17:24,804
All depends how quick you get here.
339
00:17:24,806 --> 00:17:26,122
Christy, come here.
340
00:17:28,626 --> 00:17:32,729
- What's he saying?
- I'd rather not repeat it.
341
00:17:45,918 --> 00:17:49,453
How come you never mentioned
the drug deal that went bad?
342
00:17:49,455 --> 00:17:53,758
Same reason I never mentioned
shooting off his pinky toe.
343
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,676
It reflects poorly on me.
344
00:17:55,678 --> 00:17:59,013
- Oh, my God. You shot him?
- It was an accident.
345
00:17:59,015 --> 00:18:02,651
I was trying to make him dance
like in one of those Old Westerns.
346
00:18:03,802 --> 00:18:07,030
You two are unbelievable.
I'm surprised you were
347
00:18:07,031 --> 00:18:09,724
able to stop fighting
long enough to conceive me.
348
00:18:09,726 --> 00:18:13,227
- We didn't.
- How does that work?
349
00:18:13,229 --> 00:18:15,818
How do you think? It hurts a little.
350
00:18:16,732 --> 00:18:19,099
- Alvin Biletnikoff?
- That's us.
351
00:18:19,101 --> 00:18:20,117
Uh, relatives?
352
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,954
- I'm his daughter.
- I'm undecided.
353
00:18:22,956 --> 00:18:25,206
Okay.
Well, it was a minor heart attack.
354
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:26,607
He's out of danger,
but one of his arteries
355
00:18:26,609 --> 00:18:28,876
is 70% blocked, so
we're putting in a stent.
356
00:18:28,878 --> 00:18:31,137
- So, he'll be okay?
- I should think so.
357
00:18:31,138 --> 00:18:32,913
You'll probably be able
to take him home tomorrow.
358
00:18:32,915 --> 00:18:35,633
Oh, thank God. That's great news.
359
00:18:35,635 --> 00:18:37,084
For you.
360
00:18:38,337 --> 00:18:40,708
And he's going to need to take
it easy for a couple of weeks...
361
00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:43,713
is there somebody
available to provide care?
362
00:18:44,142 --> 00:18:46,460
What are you looking at me for?
363
00:18:46,462 --> 00:18:50,564
I've got a full-time job
and I'm gonna have to deal with Violet.
364
00:18:50,566 --> 00:18:53,017
You cannot ask me to
take care of that man.
365
00:18:53,019 --> 00:18:55,236
I am not asking you.
I am telling you.
366
00:18:55,238 --> 00:18:59,523
No. I am not doing it!
No, no, no!
367
00:19:03,779 --> 00:19:05,380
No!
368
00:19:08,149 --> 00:19:10,751
Oh, my God.
She still loves him.
369
00:19:10,753 --> 00:19:14,338
You have no idea how funny this is!
370
00:19:17,826 --> 00:19:21,585
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