1
00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:03,283
Hi, I'm Bonnie, and I'm an alcoholic.
2
00:00:03,285 --> 00:00:04,952
ALL: Hi, Bonnie.
3
00:00:04,954 --> 00:00:07,621
Well, (sighs) there's only nine
more dating days till Christmas,
4
00:00:07,623 --> 00:00:09,423
and I'm starting to lose hope.
5
00:00:09,425 --> 00:00:11,391
I mean, how is it this package has no one
6
00:00:11,393 --> 00:00:14,428
to unwrap it on Christmas morning?
7
00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:16,930
The holidays are rough
enough without drinking.
8
00:00:16,932 --> 00:00:18,699
At this point, I'd let anyone...
9
00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:21,802
Stuff my turkey...
10
00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:25,172
put it in the oven and finish decorating.
11
00:00:25,174 --> 00:00:28,342
I mean, I haven't had a boyfriend since...
12
00:00:28,344 --> 00:00:30,777
1923.
13
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,081
(sighs) With the year I've had,
14
00:00:34,083 --> 00:00:36,983
with the cancer and the chemo...
15
00:00:36,985 --> 00:00:39,252
The Brazilian butt-lift.
16
00:00:40,755 --> 00:00:42,722
I mean, nothing's working.
17
00:00:42,724 --> 00:00:45,458
I still don't have a guy to wake
up with on Christmas morning.
18
00:00:45,931 --> 00:00:46,993
And it's just not the same
19
00:00:46,995 --> 00:00:49,663
having your staff watch you
open your gifts, you know?
20
00:00:49,665 --> 00:00:51,097
I mean, they say "Feliz Navidad,"
21
00:00:51,099 --> 00:00:53,433
but their hearts aren't in it.
22
00:00:53,435 --> 00:00:55,001
(sighs)
23
00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:56,770
A little sex right now would be...
24
00:00:56,772 --> 00:00:59,406
Difficult without a ladder.
25
00:00:59,408 --> 00:01:02,709
I just, I need a guy
who can drag in a tree,
26
00:01:02,711 --> 00:01:05,666
hang lights, put together
a toy for my kid...
27
00:01:07,142 --> 00:01:08,533
Okay, and maybe...
28
00:01:09,407 --> 00:01:11,853
cuddle me by the fire at his lake house,
29
00:01:12,821 --> 00:01:14,181
tell me I'm special...
30
00:01:14,789 --> 00:01:17,657
while he slowly undresses me.
31
00:01:21,762 --> 00:01:25,064
Anyway, merry freaking Christmas.
32
00:01:25,066 --> 00:01:28,001
♪ ♪
33
00:01:30,804 --> 00:01:33,273
Now you realize if we do this,
34
00:01:33,475 --> 00:01:35,942
we are officially giving up.
35
00:01:35,944 --> 00:01:40,012
Oh, don't ruin cake, it's all I have left.
36
00:01:43,515 --> 00:01:45,685
ALL: Mmm.
37
00:01:45,687 --> 00:01:47,913
Maybe we'll all meet guys at the dance.
38
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,790
For the last time, we are
not spending Christmas Eve
39
00:01:50,792 --> 00:01:52,158
at a sober dance.
40
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,594
Why not? It's a sober dance.
41
00:01:55,662 --> 00:01:58,030
We're gonna remember every minute of it.
42
00:01:58,609 --> 00:01:59,942
Hey, everybody.
43
00:01:59,967 --> 00:02:01,167
- Hi.
- Hey, roomie.
44
00:02:01,169 --> 00:02:02,101
BONNIE: Look who's here.
45
00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:03,069
CHRISTY: Welcome back.
46
00:02:03,071 --> 00:02:04,704
How was your church conference?
47
00:02:04,706 --> 00:02:05,749
Great.
48
00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:08,507
If I got paid by the
"amen," I'd be a rich woman.
49
00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:12,211
Ooh, we're gonna need
another fork over here pronto.
50
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:14,246
What's been going on around here?
51
00:02:14,577 --> 00:02:16,949
Well, a lot of people are very excited
52
00:02:16,951 --> 00:02:18,517
about the holiday sober dance.
53
00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:19,785
(all groaning)
54
00:02:19,787 --> 00:02:22,955
Oh, yeah, I got your E-vite. Can you come?
55
00:02:23,132 --> 00:02:25,157
Well, I got to check my schedule.
56
00:02:25,343 --> 00:02:26,492
That's a no, Wendy.
57
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:28,794
Did you get to any meetings in Atlanta?
58
00:02:29,218 --> 00:02:30,796
No, we were really busy.
59
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,699
Well, you can jump back
in now that you're home.
60
00:02:33,701 --> 00:02:34,976
Yeah, I guess.
61
00:02:35,515 --> 00:02:37,369
This cake is really delicious.
62
00:02:37,937 --> 00:02:39,738
It's the same cake I
ordered for the sober dance.
63
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,840
Oh, for God's sake, let it go.
64
00:02:43,176 --> 00:02:44,810
You know, if we're gonna have a party,
65
00:02:44,812 --> 00:02:46,245
we should have one for you.
66
00:02:46,882 --> 00:02:47,913
That's right.
67
00:02:47,915 --> 00:02:49,982
You're coming on two years sober.
68
00:02:49,984 --> 00:02:50,949
- Hey.
- Great.
69
00:02:50,951 --> 00:02:52,684
WENDY: Mmm, congratulations.
70
00:02:53,163 --> 00:02:57,823
Well, actually that's something
I wanted to talk to you about.
71
00:03:02,757 --> 00:03:05,497
After a lot of soul-searching and prayer,
72
00:03:05,781 --> 00:03:09,257
I, uh, decided I'm not an alcoholic.
73
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:16,041
You're not just saying that to
get out of the dance, are you?
74
00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:20,712
If so, I'm not an alcoholic either.
75
00:03:28,406 --> 00:03:33,975
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
76
00:03:40,609 --> 00:03:42,334
So, first night of the conference,
77
00:03:42,359 --> 00:03:43,869
a bunch of us went out to dinner,
78
00:03:44,163 --> 00:03:46,327
and Reverend Baker ordered
a bottle of Cabernet.
79
00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:49,931
The waiter filled my
glass, and I looked at it,
80
00:03:49,933 --> 00:03:53,054
and I thought, "I think I can handle this."
81
00:03:53,303 --> 00:03:54,303
And you know what?
82
00:03:54,304 --> 00:03:55,370
I was right.
83
00:03:55,372 --> 00:03:56,871
I didn't even finish my glass.
84
00:03:56,873 --> 00:03:58,179
I did that once.
85
00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:01,910
But only because the ambulance
driver insisted I put it down.
86
00:04:02,663 --> 00:04:03,778
Here's the thing.
87
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:06,781
Alcohol was never my problem,
drugs were my problem.
88
00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:09,150
Now, if Reverend Baker
bought us an eight ball,
89
00:04:09,152 --> 00:04:11,786
I'd still be in Atlanta
looking for my panties.
90
00:04:13,132 --> 00:04:15,466
But with wine, I'm okay.
91
00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:19,694
So let me get this straight...
You're drinking now?
92
00:04:19,696 --> 00:04:20,656
It's been a week,
93
00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:24,046
and I've had, I don't
know, maybe three glasses.
94
00:04:24,271 --> 00:04:25,871
By glasses, you mean bottles.
95
00:04:25,936 --> 00:04:28,703
By bottles, you mean cases.
96
00:04:28,705 --> 00:04:30,972
No, I mean glasses.
97
00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:33,312
I hope you're okay with it.
98
00:04:34,611 --> 00:04:36,210
You girls are my family.
99
00:04:36,212 --> 00:04:38,212
I don't want this to change anything.
100
00:04:39,615 --> 00:04:40,481
MARJORIE: It won't.
101
00:04:40,483 --> 00:04:42,550
This is a self-diagnosed disease.
102
00:04:42,552 --> 00:04:44,819
If you don't think you have a problem,
103
00:04:44,821 --> 00:04:46,107
who are we to say you do?
104
00:04:48,381 --> 00:04:49,981
I'm gonna say it.
105
00:04:51,293 --> 00:04:53,327
I was with her at her first meeting.
106
00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:56,998
She had $10,000 worth of drugs
and a full minibar in her purse.
107
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,766
But no wine.
108
00:04:58,768 --> 00:05:01,451
Bonnie, not our call.
109
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,638
So we're cool?
110
00:05:07,209 --> 00:05:10,396
Once in a while, if I have a
glass of wine in front of you,
111
00:05:11,167 --> 00:05:12,521
you're all okay?
112
00:05:13,794 --> 00:05:14,811
Well, I think...
113
00:05:16,459 --> 00:05:18,085
Marjorie, what do I think?
114
00:05:18,087 --> 00:05:20,553
Regina, we love you,
115
00:05:21,139 --> 00:05:22,802
and there's no judgment here.
116
00:05:23,059 --> 00:05:24,358
Matter of fact...
117
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,727
Waiter, would you bring
our friend a glass of, uh...
118
00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:27,811
Cabernet.
119
00:05:27,836 --> 00:05:28,553
Cabernet.
120
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,765
(whispering): Is this a trick?
121
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:34,335
Probably, she's like a Jedi.
122
00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:42,271
Is anyone else hearing saxophone music?
123
00:05:44,231 --> 00:05:45,037
Enjoy.
124
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,477
Thank you.
125
00:05:46,949 --> 00:05:48,615
You sure this is okay?
126
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,506
Yes. Yes, absolutely.
127
00:05:55,312 --> 00:05:56,920
So y'all have plans for Chr...
128
00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:02,809
Just lip gloss.
129
00:06:02,898 --> 00:06:05,165
♪ ♪
130
00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:09,736
How was your run?
131
00:06:09,738 --> 00:06:11,405
(sighs) Who cares?
132
00:06:11,407 --> 00:06:13,740
No man's ever gonna see me naked again.
133
00:06:14,787 --> 00:06:16,109
What do you say, after I take a shower,
134
00:06:16,111 --> 00:06:17,511
we go pick up a tree?
135
00:06:17,513 --> 00:06:19,112
(groans) I don't know.
136
00:06:19,114 --> 00:06:21,481
Maybe we should just
skip Christmas this year.
137
00:06:21,483 --> 00:06:24,795
Aw, what's wrong, Charlie Brown?
138
00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:26,186
What's the point?
139
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,844
Roscoe and Violet aren't gonna be around,
140
00:06:27,956 --> 00:06:31,424
Regina's drinking again,
and I saw what you bought me.
141
00:06:31,426 --> 00:06:34,294
First of all, I saw what you bought me,
142
00:06:34,296 --> 00:06:35,996
so we're both disappointed.
143
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:40,061
And the Regina thing is gonna be fine.
144
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:42,783
Do you honestly think
she can drink like normal
145
00:06:42,808 --> 00:06:44,274
and nothing bad will happen?
146
00:06:44,299 --> 00:06:45,565
Absolutely not.
147
00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,291
She's on the bullet
train to "Booze-adelphia."
148
00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:50,310
Then why are you so calm?
149
00:06:50,312 --> 00:06:52,678
'Cause I just went through a relapse.
150
00:06:52,842 --> 00:06:54,681
First you think you can control it,
151
00:06:54,683 --> 00:06:57,283
and then you're making out with
a homeless guy in his dumpster,
152
00:06:57,285 --> 00:07:00,019
and then you're back eating
stale doughnuts at a meeting.
153
00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:01,821
Circle of life.
154
00:07:01,823 --> 00:07:04,107
(cell phone rings)
155
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,293
Oh.
156
00:07:08,045 --> 00:07:08,995
Hey, Wendy.
157
00:07:08,997 --> 00:07:12,765
I'm sorry to call so early, but
I'm worried sick about Regina.
158
00:07:13,115 --> 00:07:15,101
See? She's upset about Regina too.
159
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:17,103
Really? She's usually such a rock.
160
00:07:18,092 --> 00:07:19,505
My mom says hi.
161
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,717
(cell phone rings)
162
00:07:22,686 --> 00:07:23,943
Hey, Jill, what's up?
163
00:07:23,945 --> 00:07:25,878
Hey, I can't talk loud,
Regina's in the kitchen.
164
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,548
I keep hearing the blender, and
I think she's making margaritas.
165
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:30,182
Regina's making margaritas.
166
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:31,184
Oh, God.
167
00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:32,485
Regina's making margaritas.
168
00:07:32,487 --> 00:07:33,552
First thing in the morning?
169
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:35,121
My bad, it's just a smoothie.
170
00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:36,188
It's just a smoothie.
171
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,123
It's a smoothie.
172
00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:38,491
Oh, that sounds good. What kind?
173
00:07:38,493 --> 00:07:39,925
- What kind?
- What kind?
174
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:41,750
- Who cares?
- Who cares?
175
00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:44,230
Strawberry.
176
00:07:44,232 --> 00:07:45,598
(phone line beeps)
177
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:46,998
Oh, hang on, I'm getting another call.
178
00:07:48,756 --> 00:07:50,069
What's going on, Baxter?
179
00:07:50,071 --> 00:07:52,014
Quick Santa-related question.
180
00:07:52,725 --> 00:07:55,708
Candace and I were talking about
getting Roscoe the new Xbox,
181
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:58,177
but we won't if you think
it might make you look bad.
182
00:07:58,179 --> 00:08:00,045
(sighs) Well, actually, it will.
183
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,681
Okay, we did more than talk.
184
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:04,850
We already bought it.
185
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:05,918
He kind of already saw it.
186
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,419
And he's kind of playing with it.
187
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,987
Baxter.
188
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,656
I can tell him you want me to take it back,
189
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,291
but that might make you look bad too.
190
00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:13,492
You think?
191
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,227
- Is she upset?
- Little.
192
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:16,729
Aw...
193
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:20,599
Baxter, do whatever you're gonna do.
194
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,368
- I've got a nightmare situation here.
- What's going on?
195
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:26,405
A dear friend of mine has
started drinking in moderation.
196
00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:28,540
All hell is breaking loose.
197
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,843
Okay, I'm back; where are we?
198
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,579
Jill thinks we should have an intervention.
199
00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:35,380
Jill thinks we should have an intervention.
200
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,316
- Does she know how to do one?
- Does she know how to do one?
201
00:08:37,318 --> 00:08:38,483
Do you know how to do one?
202
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,052
I should, I've had 12.
203
00:08:40,079 --> 00:08:42,197
- She's had 12.
- She's had 12.
204
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,156
We still need a grown-up.
I'm calling Marjorie.
205
00:08:44,158 --> 00:08:46,491
- She's calling Marjorie.
- She's calling Marjorie.
206
00:08:48,623 --> 00:08:51,225
(humming "Deck the Halls")
207
00:08:52,712 --> 00:08:54,299
Holiday hold music.
208
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,243
Oh.
209
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,270
(both humming "Deck the Halls")
210
00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:00,305
- What's that?
- Holiday hold music.
211
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,273
Oh, fun!
212
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:03,475
(all humming "Deck the Halls")
213
00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:08,141
I got her voice mail.
214
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:11,483
(humming conclusion to "Deck the Halls")
215
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:14,652
♪ ♪
216
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:18,723
So I thought we'd do it in
here and keep things festive.
217
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,092
I don't think you quite grasp the concept.
218
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,695
Interventions are supposed
to be uncomfortable.
219
00:09:24,407 --> 00:09:25,243
Oh.
220
00:09:25,977 --> 00:09:27,932
Well, then we should
have had it at your house.
221
00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:30,126
Crab puff?
222
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:34,138
You're having a catered intervention?
223
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:37,208
Mm-hmm, I got the same people
who did Lindsay Lohan's.
224
00:09:39,311 --> 00:09:40,979
Let's not call this an intervention.
225
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,647
It's just friends telling a friend
226
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,216
she might die a horrible agonizing death.
227
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,018
In a festive room.
228
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,696
REGINA: Jill?
229
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,755
Uh, second floor living room!
230
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:51,757
Okay, here she comes.
231
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,790
Should we hide?
232
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,459
It's not a surprise party.
233
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,001
Kind of is.
234
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,416
Hey, what's with the valet parking?
235
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,000
What are you guys doing here?
236
00:10:03,641 --> 00:10:06,170
Uh, Regina, maybe you should sit down.
237
00:10:07,005 --> 00:10:07,930
Okay.
238
00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:13,688
Honey, we're... concerned
239
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,913
about some of the choices you're making.
240
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,266
Surprise.
241
00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:21,552
Regina, I've been down this road.
242
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,696
Take it from me...
243
00:10:23,183 --> 00:10:26,017
Oh, my God, you've got
to try the mushroom caps.
244
00:10:27,490 --> 00:10:28,462
Wait a minute.
245
00:10:29,158 --> 00:10:30,991
- Is this an intervention?
- OTHERS: Yes.
246
00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:33,631
- No.
- But yes.
247
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,532
Weren't you listening to me?
248
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:36,667
I'm doing great.
249
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:37,735
Ever since I stopped going to meetings,
250
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:40,165
I've had time to go to the gym,
251
00:10:40,329 --> 00:10:41,609
do volunteer work,
252
00:10:41,634 --> 00:10:42,973
and spend more time at the office,
253
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:45,376
which has led to a pay
raise and a promotion.
254
00:10:47,423 --> 00:10:48,579
You ask me,
255
00:10:48,792 --> 00:10:51,173
I've got it more together
than any of you guys.
256
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,719
Marjorie, say something.
257
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:57,688
This wasn't my idea.
258
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,829
I knew this was gonna happen.
259
00:11:00,399 --> 00:11:02,696
You just can't accept that
there might be another way.
260
00:11:03,212 --> 00:11:05,462
Come on Regina, it's only a matter of time
261
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:08,365
before a couple drinks leads
to a line of blow and boom...
262
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:10,334
You're showing up to your kid's PTA meeting
263
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,537
in ass-less chaps and a sombrero.
264
00:11:15,773 --> 00:11:19,548
Or your version of that.
265
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,978
You know what, if this is
what it's gonna be like,
266
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:23,313
I'm out of here.
267
00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:24,848
But where you going?
268
00:11:25,295 --> 00:11:27,852
I'm moving out of this house
and getting new friends.
269
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,107
We can still stay and eat, right?
270
00:11:47,715 --> 00:11:48,801
Thank you.
271
00:11:51,887 --> 00:11:54,651
Is he cute, or am I just
wearing horny goggles?
272
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:56,022
ALL: Goggles.
273
00:11:56,831 --> 00:11:58,291
RSVPs are coming in.
274
00:11:58,534 --> 00:12:01,261
♪ There'll be lots of
guys at the sober dance. ♪
275
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,823
♪ It doesn't help when you sing it. ♪
276
00:12:04,999 --> 00:12:06,633
Look who's here.
277
00:12:07,612 --> 00:12:08,800
Hey, Regina.
278
00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:11,137
Oh, my goodness!
279
00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:13,355
What a coincidence.
280
00:12:13,448 --> 00:12:14,948
No it isn't.
281
00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:17,643
Ladies?
282
00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:20,199
This is my friend Marcus Manigault-Dupree.
283
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:21,831
Marcus?
284
00:12:21,856 --> 00:12:23,386
This is Bonnie, Wendy, Jill,
285
00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:24,621
Christy, Marjorie.
286
00:12:24,646 --> 00:12:27,113
Nice to meet you all.
287
00:12:27,422 --> 00:12:29,589
ALL: Nice to meet you.
288
00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:31,558
If you'll excuse us, we're just gonna grab
289
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:33,616
a quick bite before we
head back to my place.
290
00:12:34,662 --> 00:12:35,816
For dessert.
291
00:12:41,902 --> 00:12:43,120
Happy holidays.
292
00:12:44,739 --> 00:12:47,807
ALL: Happy holidays.
293
00:12:49,052 --> 00:12:50,786
Now she has a boyfriend?
294
00:12:51,362 --> 00:12:54,612
You promised me she'd be
kissing a bum in a dumpster.
295
00:12:56,383 --> 00:13:00,152
But she's having afternoon sex
with Marcus Manigault-Dupree.
296
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,167
Give her time. She's going down.
297
00:13:02,370 --> 00:13:04,790
Oh, please, the only person going down
298
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:07,126
is Marcus Manigault-Dupree!
299
00:13:09,629 --> 00:13:12,331
(humming a tune)
300
00:13:12,972 --> 00:13:14,199
Unbelievable.
301
00:13:14,915 --> 00:13:16,668
I leave this by the mailboxes
302
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,637
to make it easy for the tenants
303
00:13:18,639 --> 00:13:20,739
to give me a holiday tip, and all I got
304
00:13:20,741 --> 00:13:22,174
was an Arby's coupon and a Polaroid
305
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,842
of a penis in a Santa hat.
306
00:13:25,645 --> 00:13:28,180
(groans)
307
00:13:30,557 --> 00:13:32,840
- Give me that.
- No, I want to do it.
308
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,681
Whee!
309
00:13:41,074 --> 00:13:43,342
(knocking)
310
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:48,200
ALL: Merry Christmas!
311
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:51,042
Hey, Mom, look, it's the
people from the catalog.
312
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,897
Come on in.
313
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,373
I'm sorry we're early, but
it started to snow in Tahoe
314
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:57,642
and you know there's
nothing like fresh powder.
315
00:13:57,644 --> 00:13:59,811
Oh, you don't have to tell us that.
316
00:14:02,144 --> 00:14:03,577
Merry Christmas, Mom.
317
00:14:03,602 --> 00:14:05,669
Aw, thank you, honey.
318
00:14:05,694 --> 00:14:07,713
I got you a perfume that's
a little less obvious.
319
00:14:09,555 --> 00:14:10,955
(laughs)
320
00:14:10,957 --> 00:14:13,058
Oh, where does he get it?
321
00:14:14,662 --> 00:14:16,897
And these are for you and Christy.
322
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,955
Oh, wow, how unexpected.
323
00:14:19,099 --> 00:14:21,354
Oh, please, don't feel bad if
you didn't get anything for us.
324
00:14:21,379 --> 00:14:22,879
We don't.
325
00:14:23,027 --> 00:14:25,160
Don't be silly, Mom.
326
00:14:25,405 --> 00:14:27,752
Of course we got them something.
327
00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:29,120
Ah...
328
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:30,449
Here you go.
329
00:14:30,474 --> 00:14:31,956
Merry Christmas from the Plunketts.
330
00:14:33,159 --> 00:14:34,078
Arby's?
331
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,854
Yes!
332
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:40,128
Roscoe, your gifts are under the tree.
333
00:14:41,284 --> 00:14:42,682
Can I talk to you for a sec?
334
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:43,401
Sure.
335
00:14:45,824 --> 00:14:47,024
Here you go.
336
00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:48,626
Santa didn't forget about you.
337
00:14:50,815 --> 00:14:52,196
We need to make this quick.
338
00:14:52,198 --> 00:14:53,764
Candace wants to hit the road.
339
00:14:53,766 --> 00:14:55,399
She's really got you on a short leash.
340
00:14:55,401 --> 00:14:57,101
You need to man up.
341
00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:59,663
Look at me, Christy. That ship has sailed.
342
00:15:00,529 --> 00:15:01,674
What's going on?
343
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,792
I just want to ask your
opinion about something.
344
00:15:04,817 --> 00:15:05,715
Okay.
345
00:15:06,074 --> 00:15:07,307
You were around
346
00:15:07,332 --> 00:15:08,846
towards the end of my drinking.
347
00:15:08,871 --> 00:15:10,049
A lot of people were.
348
00:15:10,565 --> 00:15:12,798
Paramedics, county sheriff, animal control.
349
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,067
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
350
00:15:15,069 --> 00:15:17,970
But with the benefit of hindsight,
351
00:15:17,972 --> 00:15:21,741
don't you think it's possible I
was just going through a phase?
352
00:15:21,924 --> 00:15:22,917
A phase?
353
00:15:23,409 --> 00:15:24,643
You were on a first-name basis
354
00:15:24,645 --> 00:15:26,746
with the guy who pumped your stomach.
355
00:15:26,748 --> 00:15:28,948
Oh, yeah... Phil.
356
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,417
Ironic name.
357
00:15:31,419 --> 00:15:33,085
Where's this going?
358
00:15:33,823 --> 00:15:35,221
Are you thinking of drinking again?
359
00:15:35,424 --> 00:15:37,356
Well, maybe.
360
00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:39,525
My friend's drinking again,
361
00:15:39,527 --> 00:15:40,860
and she's doing great.
362
00:15:40,862 --> 00:15:43,329
And look at you, you used
to smoke weed every day
363
00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:45,965
and now you only do it once in a while.
364
00:15:46,143 --> 00:15:48,467
Yep, just nights and weekends.
365
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,736
That's every day, but moving on.
366
00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:54,440
You still put a tie on every morning,
367
00:15:54,442 --> 00:15:56,932
you sell cars, you're a great dad.
368
00:15:57,213 --> 00:15:58,343
You're thriving.
369
00:15:58,469 --> 00:16:01,170
Those are the exact words
that my pot dealer used.
370
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:04,950
The thing is,
371
00:16:05,487 --> 00:16:07,119
I think I could do that, too.
372
00:16:07,526 --> 00:16:08,921
Oh, my God, no, Christy.
373
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,356
When you were drinking,
your life was a tire fire.
374
00:16:11,358 --> 00:16:13,158
You'd disappear for days at a time.
375
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,252
And then to make things
worse, you'd come home.
376
00:16:17,370 --> 00:16:18,764
I know, but I thi...
377
00:16:18,766 --> 00:16:19,831
Look.
378
00:16:20,542 --> 00:16:21,566
You can do whatever you want.
379
00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:23,846
But I'd really hate for Roscoe
380
00:16:23,871 --> 00:16:25,823
to ever see his mom drunk again.
381
00:16:29,104 --> 00:16:30,075
Low blow.
382
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,978
Christy, maybe you haven't noticed,
383
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:35,034
but you're doing pretty great, too.
384
00:16:36,511 --> 00:16:37,547
Thanks.
385
00:16:37,612 --> 00:16:38,831
CANDACE: Baxter?
386
00:16:38,856 --> 00:16:40,122
Short leash.
387
00:16:40,147 --> 00:16:42,707
(laughs) Sorry.
388
00:16:47,521 --> 00:16:49,689
(car engine starts)
389
00:16:54,261 --> 00:16:57,588
I just don't get why we're
apologizing to Regina.
390
00:16:57,613 --> 00:16:59,948
I mean, we tried to help her
and she told us to go to hell.
391
00:16:59,995 --> 00:17:03,263
Well, maybe we should've left her alone.
392
00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:04,798
She certainly didn't ask for help.
393
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,600
But if she ever does,
we'll be there for her.
394
00:17:07,602 --> 00:17:10,470
Hey, Ghost of Christmas
Past, give it a rest.
395
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:13,473
Isn't it a little weird just showing up
396
00:17:13,475 --> 00:17:15,375
at her new place without a gift?
397
00:17:15,377 --> 00:17:17,443
Should we stop and get
her a bottle of hooch?
398
00:17:17,445 --> 00:17:19,713
I'm not stopping anywhere on Christmas Eve.
399
00:17:22,846 --> 00:17:24,651
Jill, those earrings are nice.
400
00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,159
Thank you!
401
00:17:28,424 --> 00:17:29,689
Oh, my God!
402
00:17:29,691 --> 00:17:32,725
These are the most beautiful
earrings I've ever seen.
403
00:17:32,727 --> 00:17:35,161
I picked them out.
404
00:17:35,163 --> 00:17:38,174
Happy housewarming/ Merry Christmas.
405
00:17:38,504 --> 00:17:40,170
You really shouldn't have done this.
406
00:17:40,266 --> 00:17:42,033
They look so expensive.
407
00:17:42,058 --> 00:17:43,627
They are.
408
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,939
We just wanted to say we're sorry.
409
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:50,565
We were way out of line to think
we knew what was best for you.
410
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,512
Even though we do.
411
00:17:52,514 --> 00:17:55,596
Ah, well, we should get going.
412
00:17:56,073 --> 00:17:57,183
Christmas Eve.
413
00:17:57,185 --> 00:17:59,854
You probably have plans with your fella.
414
00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:02,888
Actually, Marcus is out
of town visiting his folks.
415
00:18:03,323 --> 00:18:05,057
Why don't we order in Chinese food,
416
00:18:05,059 --> 00:18:06,859
and watch some sappy Christmas movie?
417
00:18:06,861 --> 00:18:08,409
As much good as that sounds,
418
00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:09,928
we're going to Wendy's loser dance.
419
00:18:11,831 --> 00:18:13,199
Sober dance.
420
00:18:13,201 --> 00:18:14,500
That's what I said.
421
00:18:16,511 --> 00:18:18,245
You wouldn't want to...
422
00:18:18,584 --> 00:18:19,712
I wouldn't.
423
00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:22,862
But, hey, let's have coffee next week.
424
00:18:22,887 --> 00:18:23,635
Okay.
425
00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:24,926
BOTH: Merry Christmas.
426
00:18:25,088 --> 00:18:26,651
ALL: Merry Christmas.
427
00:18:29,582 --> 00:18:33,221
Well, she seems like she's in a good place.
428
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,012
Yeah, I'm glad we did that.
429
00:18:35,037 --> 00:18:36,010
Me, too.
430
00:18:36,794 --> 00:18:39,695
My ears are cold.
431
00:18:43,042 --> 00:18:46,932
♪ O holy night ♪
432
00:18:46,934 --> 00:18:51,737
♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪
433
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:55,107
♪ It is the night ♪
434
00:18:55,109 --> 00:18:57,209
♪ Of our dear ♪
435
00:18:57,211 --> 00:19:00,512
♪ Savior's birth ♪
436
00:19:05,221 --> 00:19:08,387
♪ Long lay the world ♪
437
00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:11,356
♪ In sin ♪
438
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,926
♪ And error pining ♪
439
00:19:14,928 --> 00:19:18,663
♪ Till he appeared ♪
440
00:19:18,665 --> 00:19:23,500
♪ And the soul felt its worth. ♪
441
00:19:26,005 --> 00:19:26,063
♪ Till he appeared ♪
442
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:38,876
This is so much worse
than I thought it would be.
443
00:19:40,357 --> 00:19:43,214
Yeah, whose genius idea was this?
444
00:19:44,598 --> 00:19:46,299
On the bright side, three different people
445
00:19:46,324 --> 00:19:47,824
brought Jell-O salad.
446
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,321
One person brought three different kinds
447
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:53,544
of Jell-O salad, thank you very much.
448
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,591
There are no cute guys here.
449
00:19:56,849 --> 00:19:58,996
And they're ignoring us.
450
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,666
You know what, forget the guys.
451
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:04,235
I'm just happy to spend here
452
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,470
at Christmas Eve with people I love.
453
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:09,740
I'll not drink to that.
454
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,142
Does anybody want to dance?
455
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:12,810
♪ Now you want to trip ♪
456
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,678
♪ 'Cause another brother noticed me ♪
457
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,881
♪ I'm up on him, he up on me ♪
458
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,983
♪ Don't pay him any attention ♪
459
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:21,585
♪ 'Cause I cried my tears
for three good years ♪
460
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:24,088
♪ Ya can't be mad at me ♪
461
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,290
♪ 'Cause if you liked it, then
you should've put a ring on it ♪
462
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:28,792
♪ If you liked it, then you
should've put a ring on it ♪
463
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:31,195
♪ Don't be mad once you
see that he want it ♪
464
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,497
♪ If you liked it, then you
should've put a ring on it... ♪
465
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:37,868
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
466
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,373
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. ♪
467
00:20:40,397 --> 00:20:46,107
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --