1
00:00:08,322 --> 00:00:11,679
I'm sorry I fought you
on us just being friends.

2
00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:14,765
I didn't realize how
friendly you were gonna be.

3
00:00:16,315 --> 00:00:19,460
Yeah, well, parts of me
are friendlier than others.

4
00:00:21,453 --> 00:00:24,250
Am I messing things up if
I say I wish once in a while

5
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:26,623
we could... spend the night together,

6
00:00:26,648 --> 00:00:29,379
wake up in the morning,
have a cup of coffee, cuddle?

7
00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:31,085
All right, off you go.

8
00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:33,078
Seriously?!

9
00:00:33,103 --> 00:00:35,242
When you use words like "cuddle"

10
00:00:35,267 --> 00:00:37,056
I feel like you don't really get me.

11
00:00:37,081 --> 00:00:38,492
Never mind.

12
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:41,374
Oh, before I leave,

13
00:00:41,399 --> 00:00:43,479
you got a little something
going on with your tushie.

14
00:00:45,509 --> 00:00:47,008
Are you trying for round two?

15
00:00:47,033 --> 00:00:48,867
'Cause "tushie" is right
up there with "cuddle".

16
00:00:50,078 --> 00:00:52,895
No, I noticed, uh, that
the mole on your right cheek

17
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,459
is, uh, a little bigger than

18
00:00:54,460 --> 00:00:56,709
last time I was, you
know, in the neighborhood.

19
00:00:57,351 --> 00:01:00,539
First of all, it's not a
mole, it's a beauty mark.

20
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:02,140
And secondly...

21
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:05,187
if you've got time to
look around back there,

22
00:01:05,212 --> 00:01:07,000
you're not trying hard enough.

23
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:09,039
Oh, come on, I'm just concerned.

24
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,079
It used to be the shape of Ohio

25
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,039
and now it's more like... Australia.

26
00:01:14,882 --> 00:01:16,879
Nobody asked you to
play Dora the Explorer.

27
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:18,209
I'm sure it's fine.

28
00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:19,999
I'm sure it is, too, but just to be safe

29
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,119
have a doctor take a look.

30
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,226
Yeah, okay, whatever.

31
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,039
By the way,

32
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,119
if we're gonna start
noticing imperfections

33
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,093
in each other's bodies,

34
00:01:27,118 --> 00:01:29,538
you might want to pull those
balls up a couple inches.

35
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,617
You got to be kidding me.

36
00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:43,453
Mommy, I'm home from school.

37
00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:46,709
I'm just gonna hang
out in the living room

38
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:49,335
till the grown-ups stop wrestling.

39
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:51,757
Of course I drank.

40
00:01:52,420 --> 00:01:54,619
- Hey, Christy.
- Hey, Steve.

41
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:56,709
I'm just gonna sheepishly
skulk out of here now.

42
00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:58,539
That'd be awesome, thanks.

43
00:01:58,835 --> 00:02:00,079
Uh, before I forget.

44
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,289
Take a look at your mom's butt

45
00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:02,812
and see if there's cause for alarm.

46
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,829
Excuse me?

47
00:02:06,830 --> 00:02:08,709
She's got a mole that
doesn't look right.

48
00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:09,500
Steve, are you still here?

49
00:02:09,501 --> 00:02:11,460
Got to go. Right cheek.

50
00:02:13,290 --> 00:02:14,960
Of course I was a stripper.

51
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:28,703
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

52
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,656
Seeing a lot of Steve these days, huh?

53
00:02:40,657 --> 00:02:42,366
Well, I can't afford a gym membership.

54
00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:44,326
I got to get my cardio in somehow.

55
00:02:44,726 --> 00:02:46,496
- Come on, you like him.
- I do.

56
00:02:46,497 --> 00:02:49,286
He's like a rowing machine
with a heart of gold.

57
00:02:49,287 --> 00:02:51,286
Great, I'm really happy
for you. Show me your ass.

58
00:02:51,687 --> 00:02:52,946
What?

59
00:02:52,947 --> 00:02:55,076
Steve said something
about a mole. Let's see.

60
00:02:55,077 --> 00:02:56,866
- No.
- Hey, this is not the high point

61
00:02:56,867 --> 00:02:58,406
of my day either. Hike up your robe.

62
00:02:58,407 --> 00:03:00,576
Forget it, it's nothing.

63
00:03:00,577 --> 00:03:02,536
Come on, pretend you're on the Jumbotron

64
00:03:02,537 --> 00:03:04,366
at a Raiders game and moon me.

65
00:03:04,367 --> 00:03:07,366
Sorry, you got to buy me
dinner to see the goods.

66
00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:09,076
Hey, in the future, can you let me know

67
00:03:09,077 --> 00:03:10,496
if you're gonna be home early?

68
00:03:10,497 --> 00:03:12,406
I got a better idea... Why
don't you shoot me a text

69
00:03:12,407 --> 00:03:14,406
when you've got your
feet behind your ears.

70
00:03:14,867 --> 00:03:17,196
Yeah, that probably makes more sense.

71
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,446
Hey, uh, by the way,

72
00:03:19,447 --> 00:03:21,827
we're almost out of
your fancy conditioner.

73
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:24,786
- Smile.
- Hey!

74
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,036
Oh, relax. I'm sure it's...

75
00:03:26,037 --> 00:03:27,726
Oh!

76
00:03:31,237 --> 00:03:32,536
Wendy, you're a nurse,

77
00:03:32,537 --> 00:03:34,156
does that mole look right to you?

78
00:03:34,157 --> 00:03:36,866
Oh, come on, I got
raisins in my salad here.

79
00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,947
Just look, I'm worried.

80
00:03:40,327 --> 00:03:42,171
I don't know, could be
something, could be nothing.

81
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:44,076
That's your professional opinion?

82
00:03:44,077 --> 00:03:45,576
You went to nursing school for that?

83
00:03:45,577 --> 00:03:46,906
I went to nursing school

84
00:03:46,907 --> 00:03:49,236
'cause I thought I'd
have access to drugs.

85
00:03:49,237 --> 00:03:51,536
Let me see.

86
00:03:51,537 --> 00:03:53,996
Ew! If that were on
Cindy Crawford's face,

87
00:03:53,997 --> 00:03:56,366
she'd have a very different career.

88
00:03:56,367 --> 00:03:57,685
Give me.

89
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,786
That's not good.

90
00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:02,736
She should definitely go to a doctor.

91
00:04:02,737 --> 00:04:03,866
See? That's the problem...

92
00:04:03,867 --> 00:04:05,736
No matter what I say, she won't go.

93
00:04:05,737 --> 00:04:07,236
Well, she's scared.

94
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,326
I know when I found a lump in my breast

95
00:04:09,327 --> 00:04:12,156
I was panic-stricken
what a doctor might say.

96
00:04:12,701 --> 00:04:14,366
So you think it's cancer?

97
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,196
Isn't that what we're all thinking?

98
00:04:16,197 --> 00:04:17,446
What were you thinking?

99
00:04:17,787 --> 00:04:19,036
I don't know, knowing her,

100
00:04:19,037 --> 00:04:21,045
it could be the mark of the devil.

101
00:04:21,497 --> 00:04:23,036
Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?

102
00:04:23,037 --> 00:04:24,021
- Nothin'.
- Chattin'.

103
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,367
- Hangin'.
- Lookin' at your mole.

104
00:04:28,037 --> 00:04:29,701
Did you not see what we were doing here?

105
00:04:31,092 --> 00:04:32,576
You showed them?

106
00:04:32,577 --> 00:04:34,366
I'm worried about you.

107
00:04:34,367 --> 00:04:36,406
- Since when?
- You're my mother.

108
00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:38,826
I say I'd be better off without
you, but I don't really mean it.

109
00:04:38,827 --> 00:04:40,406
You say that? Does she say that?

110
00:04:40,407 --> 00:04:42,033
- Of course not.
- No.

111
00:04:42,057 --> 00:04:43,049
All the time.

112
00:04:44,077 --> 00:04:46,283
For God's sake, read the room, Wendy.

113
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:50,236
Anyway, you really
should go see a doctor.

114
00:04:50,237 --> 00:04:51,696
Yeah, well, I'm not a doctor person.

115
00:04:51,697 --> 00:04:53,236
I'm more comfortable
just toughing it out.

116
00:04:53,237 --> 00:04:54,536
You see this finger?

117
00:04:54,537 --> 00:04:56,116
I cut the tip off when I was 14.

118
00:04:56,117 --> 00:04:58,196
Stuck it back on with crazy glue.

119
00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:00,197
That would be your brand.

120
00:05:01,361 --> 00:05:03,860
You went to a doctor
for your back last year.

121
00:05:03,885 --> 00:05:05,156
Well, only 'cause she made me.

122
00:05:05,157 --> 00:05:07,156
And look what happened, I
got strung out on pain pills.

123
00:05:07,157 --> 00:05:08,536
Who knows? I go in for a mole,

124
00:05:08,537 --> 00:05:10,656
next thing you know I'm smoking crack.

125
00:05:10,657 --> 00:05:13,036
What was your excuse for the
first time you smoked crack?

126
00:05:13,037 --> 00:05:14,729
I like crack.

127
00:05:17,497 --> 00:05:19,997
Now, let's just change the
subject. Talk about the weather.

128
00:05:22,507 --> 00:05:25,088
Does your giant mole
hurt before it rains?

129
00:05:45,447 --> 00:05:47,045
Well, there's something
you don't see every day.

130
00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:48,070
Oh!

131
00:05:50,197 --> 00:05:52,697
I'm rubbing a pomegranate on my mole.

132
00:05:53,037 --> 00:05:54,947
You're feeding it now?

133
00:05:56,037 --> 00:05:58,196
I did a little research on the Internet

134
00:05:58,197 --> 00:06:00,196
and learned that if you
apply pomegranate juice,

135
00:06:00,354 --> 00:06:01,656
garlic paste, walnut oil,

136
00:06:01,657 --> 00:06:03,536
and then cover the
mole with a kale leaf,

137
00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:05,174
it'll be gone in a few hours.

138
00:06:05,815 --> 00:06:07,446
Good call.

139
00:06:07,447 --> 00:06:10,096
Go Harry Potter on your ass.

140
00:06:10,617 --> 00:06:12,076
It'll work.

141
00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:13,996
Mom, it's natural to be scared

142
00:06:13,997 --> 00:06:16,366
to go see a doctor, anyone would be.

143
00:06:16,367 --> 00:06:18,197
Except me. I have science on my side.

144
00:06:19,867 --> 00:06:22,116
Now come on... tape this
kale leaf to my butt.

145
00:06:22,117 --> 00:06:23,576
Shiny side down, or this is just

146
00:06:23,577 --> 00:06:25,286
a complete waste of time.

147
00:06:25,287 --> 00:06:27,783
Just like this conversation.

148
00:06:29,577 --> 00:06:33,496
Hey, on the off chance
that Wiccan-pedia

149
00:06:33,497 --> 00:06:34,946
doesn't do the trick,

150
00:06:34,947 --> 00:06:36,576
will you please see a doctor?

151
00:06:36,577 --> 00:06:39,366
For the last time, I
don't need a doctor.

152
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:40,946
Now come on,

153
00:06:40,947 --> 00:06:43,197
help me summon the serpent.

154
00:06:44,407 --> 00:06:45,932
That's it, I'm making an appointment.

155
00:06:45,957 --> 00:06:47,196
- No.
- Why?

156
00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:48,736
Because...

157
00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:52,656
I've been a terrible
person my whole life

158
00:06:52,657 --> 00:06:55,502
and this is how the universe
is gonna get even with me.

159
00:06:55,617 --> 00:06:56,696
So you are scared.

160
00:06:56,697 --> 00:06:58,196
Of course I am. Have
you seen this thing?

161
00:06:58,197 --> 00:07:00,533
It's big enough to claim as a dependent.

162
00:07:00,867 --> 00:07:02,906
Then let's get it taken care of

163
00:07:02,907 --> 00:07:04,666
and put the whole thing behind us.

164
00:07:04,817 --> 00:07:05,932
Sorry.

165
00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:09,908
You can't do that, that's
not how the universe works.

166
00:07:09,999 --> 00:07:12,288
Wait a minute... You know
how the universe works,

167
00:07:12,313 --> 00:07:14,197
and you've been holding out on me?

168
00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:17,196
The universe waits,

169
00:07:17,197 --> 00:07:19,036
and then as soon as you
get your life together,

170
00:07:19,037 --> 00:07:21,213
boom... something awful happens.

171
00:07:21,447 --> 00:07:22,783
Oh, you poor thing.

172
00:07:22,952 --> 00:07:24,432
You think you have your life together.

173
00:07:26,497 --> 00:07:28,736
Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.

174
00:07:28,737 --> 00:07:31,286
We'll give your witch's salad dressing

175
00:07:31,287 --> 00:07:33,116
24 hours to work.

176
00:07:33,117 --> 00:07:35,037
If it doesn't, we see a doctor.

177
00:07:36,287 --> 00:07:37,338
Fine.

178
00:07:37,787 --> 00:07:40,447
Thank you. Now you're
starting to make sense.

179
00:07:44,276 --> 00:07:46,987
Oh, great. Now my ass
smells like the Olive Garden.

180
00:07:51,867 --> 00:07:53,635
Do we need cotton balls?

181
00:07:53,867 --> 00:07:55,286
What?

182
00:07:55,287 --> 00:07:57,690
Never mind. I'm just gonna take 'em.

183
00:07:57,947 --> 00:07:59,826
Nice karma move,

184
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:02,036
stealing from the free clinic.

185
00:08:02,037 --> 00:08:03,576
Says the woman who
swiped three Us Weeklies

186
00:08:03,577 --> 00:08:05,487
from the waiting room.

187
00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:07,867
It's the only crossword I can do.

188
00:08:10,117 --> 00:08:12,036
Okay, Ms. Plunkett,

189
00:08:12,037 --> 00:08:15,536
I see you have an unwelcome
guest on your posterior.

190
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:18,036
Please drop your pants and bend over.

191
00:08:18,037 --> 00:08:19,826
Oh, okay.

192
00:08:19,827 --> 00:08:22,479
Not the first time a man has
said that to you, huh, Mom?

193
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:25,786
Oh, that's very good.

194
00:08:25,787 --> 00:08:27,866
Clever. Huh.

195
00:08:27,867 --> 00:08:30,497
Okay, let's see what we have here, hm?

196
00:08:35,197 --> 00:08:37,166
Oh, jeepers.

197
00:08:37,979 --> 00:08:39,536
Jeepers, good?

198
00:08:39,838 --> 00:08:42,036
When is jeepers ever good?

199
00:08:42,037 --> 00:08:44,385
Oh, God, I knew it.

200
00:08:44,418 --> 00:08:46,957
Calm down. Doctor?

201
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,496
Yes?

202
00:08:51,077 --> 00:08:52,156
What?

203
00:08:54,737 --> 00:08:57,156
- What?
- She wants to know if it's cancer.

204
00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:58,367
Oh.

205
00:08:59,697 --> 00:09:01,616
That's for the lab to say.

206
00:09:01,617 --> 00:09:03,826
So what happens next?

207
00:09:03,827 --> 00:09:05,946
We scoop it off, send it for a biopsy

208
00:09:05,947 --> 00:09:07,116
and see what's what.

209
00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:09,236
- How long does that take?
- About a week.

210
00:09:09,237 --> 00:09:11,946
I have to wait a week to find
out if I have skin cancer?

211
00:09:11,947 --> 00:09:14,479
It's a free clinic, not a fast clinic.

212
00:09:15,117 --> 00:09:16,666
Just try not to think about it.

213
00:09:19,173 --> 00:09:21,843
This is not an excuse to smoke crack.

214
00:09:41,558 --> 00:09:43,928
She's still thinkin' about it.

215
00:09:53,497 --> 00:09:54,737
Hey.

216
00:09:55,037 --> 00:09:56,116
Hey.

217
00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:57,616
Whatcha doin'?

218
00:09:57,617 --> 00:09:59,643
What's it look like?
I'm cleaning the fridge.

219
00:09:59,706 --> 00:10:01,085
At 3:00 in the morning?

220
00:10:01,086 --> 00:10:03,158
I can't drink, I can't do drugs.

221
00:10:03,183 --> 00:10:05,393
Let me organize our milk and cold cuts.

222
00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:08,705
You want to take a break

223
00:10:08,706 --> 00:10:10,285
and maybe talk about
what you're feeling?

224
00:10:10,286 --> 00:10:12,085
Really? You want to know how I feel?

225
00:10:12,086 --> 00:10:14,285
Death, death, death,
death, death, death, death.

226
00:10:14,286 --> 00:10:16,205
Happy?

227
00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:18,415
Mom, you're kind of jumping the gun.

228
00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:20,625
We won't get the results of
the biopsy for six more days.

229
00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:21,626
Don't you think you should...

230
00:10:21,627 --> 00:10:24,125
Death!

231
00:10:24,126 --> 00:10:25,785
Okay.

232
00:10:25,786 --> 00:10:27,375
Nighty-night.

233
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,996
Sweet dreams!

234
00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:37,424
Oh. Nice.

235
00:10:37,666 --> 00:10:40,541
No one cleans like a crazy person.

236
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,586
Hello? Mom?

237
00:10:42,954 --> 00:10:44,197
Upstairs!

238
00:10:46,848 --> 00:10:48,978
Hope she organized the closet.

239
00:10:54,604 --> 00:10:56,245
You okay?

240
00:10:56,246 --> 00:10:58,245
Just tired.

241
00:10:58,246 --> 00:11:00,996
I guess that's to be
expected, given my condition.

242
00:11:04,126 --> 00:11:07,268
Or you're tired because
you stayed up all night.

243
00:11:07,956 --> 00:11:09,285
Damn.

244
00:11:09,286 --> 00:11:11,002
Christy,

245
00:11:11,326 --> 00:11:13,165
come. Sit.

246
00:11:14,826 --> 00:11:16,666
Why do I come home?

247
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,261
I love you.

248
00:11:20,326 --> 00:11:21,166
What?

249
00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:22,995
I said I love you.

250
00:11:22,996 --> 00:11:24,995
We don't say it enough.

251
00:11:24,996 --> 00:11:26,996
We don't say it ever.

252
00:11:27,746 --> 00:11:29,565
One of us doesn't even think it.

253
00:11:30,143 --> 00:11:31,875
Come on. Get out of bed.

254
00:11:31,876 --> 00:11:34,165
Let's go grab a bite to eat,
and then we'll go to the meeting.

255
00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:35,325
No, no. You go.

256
00:11:35,326 --> 00:11:37,518
Tell everyone to pray for me.

257
00:11:38,806 --> 00:11:41,581
Okay. But don't expect much.

258
00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:44,165
You know, I put

259
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:47,325
my life at risk for so many years.

260
00:11:47,737 --> 00:11:49,325
Drugs, alcohol,

261
00:11:49,326 --> 00:11:52,325
climbing into zoo enclosures
and taunting the animals.

262
00:11:52,326 --> 00:11:55,213
I-I never gave it a second thought.

263
00:11:55,305 --> 00:11:59,004
And now every moment feels so precious.

264
00:11:59,326 --> 00:12:01,585
And yet here you are wasting my time.

265
00:12:01,586 --> 00:12:02,995
That's good.

266
00:12:02,996 --> 00:12:04,665
Laugh at me. Laugh at life.

267
00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:06,526
The whole thing's a joke.

268
00:12:06,838 --> 00:12:08,535
All righty. I'm gonna skedaddle.

269
00:12:08,536 --> 00:12:09,206
Christy.

270
00:12:09,207 --> 00:12:10,665
Yeah. Quickly.

271
00:12:11,479 --> 00:12:13,826
Smell every rose.

272
00:12:15,376 --> 00:12:18,375
Sing every song.

273
00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:21,205
Dance like no one's watching.

274
00:12:21,206 --> 00:12:22,745
Will do.

275
00:12:22,746 --> 00:12:24,085
Oh, and if you wouldn't mind,

276
00:12:24,086 --> 00:12:25,406
bring me home a bucket of chicken.

277
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,585
Extra crispy.

278
00:12:33,338 --> 00:12:35,995
Hi, I'm Christy, and I'm an alcoholic.

279
00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:37,665
Hi, Christy.

280
00:12:38,112 --> 00:12:41,125
Well, this week has been a doozy.

281
00:12:41,604 --> 00:12:44,455
My mom's in the middle
of a little health scare,

282
00:12:44,456 --> 00:12:47,245
and I am trying to be compassionate.

283
00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:50,826
But you know her, she just
sucks it right out of you.

284
00:12:52,893 --> 00:12:54,325
On the plus side,

285
00:12:54,326 --> 00:12:58,666
our house hasn't been this
clean since she was doing blow.

286
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:05,205
Anyway, she asked for
you to pray for her.

287
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,326
Do with that what you will.

288
00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:10,761
Okay, who else would like to share?

289
00:13:11,088 --> 00:13:12,165
I'll go.

290
00:13:12,471 --> 00:13:14,245
Hi, I'm Jill. I'm an alcoholic.

291
00:13:14,246 --> 00:13:15,455
Hi, Jill.

292
00:13:15,626 --> 00:13:16,995
I've been dealing

293
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,940
with a little health issue myself.

294
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,325
My pool guy hurt his back,

295
00:13:21,326 --> 00:13:23,495
so the pool looks
like a Louisiana swamp.

296
00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:28,408
Sorry.

297
00:13:41,896 --> 00:13:43,228
Anyway...

298
00:13:45,588 --> 00:13:47,035
if I'm a little snippy,

299
00:13:47,036 --> 00:13:49,245
it's because I haven't
been getting my laps in

300
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,830
and ballooned up to a size zero.

301
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:55,049
That's it. Thanks.

302
00:13:55,838 --> 00:13:57,061
Anybody else?

303
00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:59,915
Hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm an alcoholic.

304
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:01,535
Hi, Bonnie.

305
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:03,875
I wasn't gonna come tonight
because I was too busy

306
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:05,665
feeling sorry for myself.

307
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,391
But then I thought, "No, Bonnie.

308
00:14:08,854 --> 00:14:10,585
"You're not a self-centered person.

309
00:14:10,586 --> 00:14:11,586
Don't start now."

310
00:14:15,326 --> 00:14:17,072
Sorry.

311
00:14:17,666 --> 00:14:19,495
Anyway,

312
00:14:19,496 --> 00:14:23,165
I want you to know
that I love, appreciate,

313
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:26,354
and am grateful for each
and every one of you.

314
00:14:27,237 --> 00:14:29,143
You taught me how to live,

315
00:14:29,399 --> 00:14:30,604
and now...

316
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:35,181
now I'm gonna teach you how to die.

317
00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:40,165
Oh, for God's sake, shut up.

318
00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:41,205
Excuse me?

319
00:14:41,206 --> 00:14:42,625
Stop with all the drama.

320
00:14:42,626 --> 00:14:44,665
You don't even have a diagnosis yet.

321
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:47,104
And if you do, it's
not a death sentence.

322
00:14:47,129 --> 00:14:49,968
Hey, you shared about
your cancer all the time.

323
00:14:49,993 --> 00:14:52,791
Because I had cancer!

324
00:14:53,456 --> 00:14:56,245
All you have is a chance of cancer.

325
00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:57,393
You have...

326
00:14:57,706 --> 00:14:59,375
chancer!

327
00:14:59,508 --> 00:15:01,244
Okay.

328
00:15:02,011 --> 00:15:06,494
Apparently, this is not the
safe place I thought it was.

329
00:15:11,232 --> 00:15:15,315
And as long as I'm being honest,
screw you and your size zero.

330
00:15:24,726 --> 00:15:25,266
Hey.

331
00:15:25,627 --> 00:15:27,085
Come on in.

332
00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:28,588
How's our patient?

333
00:15:28,613 --> 00:15:29,826
Who cares?

334
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:31,875
Thank you. These are beautiful.

335
00:15:31,876 --> 00:15:33,665
Um, those are kind of for your mom.

336
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,745
Yeah, well, now they're
mine. She's upstairs.

337
00:15:36,746 --> 00:15:38,876
And if you see any more
moles, keep it to yourself.

338
00:15:43,286 --> 00:15:44,455
Hello?

339
00:15:44,456 --> 00:15:45,875
Oh, hi. Come on in.

340
00:15:46,697 --> 00:15:49,285
For the record, I
brought you some flowers.

341
00:15:49,286 --> 00:15:50,535
Oh.

342
00:15:50,536 --> 00:15:52,375
Nice. Where are they?

343
00:15:52,376 --> 00:15:55,205
Christy took 'em for
herself. She was really mean.

344
00:15:55,626 --> 00:15:58,112
Try asking her for a bucket of chicken.

345
00:15:58,496 --> 00:15:59,745
What are you doin' there?

346
00:15:59,746 --> 00:16:01,955
I'm drawing up a list
of things I haven't done

347
00:16:01,956 --> 00:16:04,825
in case the... biopsy is bad news.

348
00:16:04,826 --> 00:16:05,766
Okay.

349
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:08,585
You're not gonna tell
me I'm being ridiculous?

350
00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:09,995
Nope. I think ridiculous

351
00:16:09,996 --> 00:16:11,915
is one of your more endearing qualities.

352
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:13,119
Let's see.

353
00:16:13,826 --> 00:16:16,165
"Throw out the first
pitch at a Giants game."

354
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:19,229
While sober and fully clothed.

355
00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:20,826
Okay.

356
00:16:20,827 --> 00:16:22,125
"Have dinner at the White House."

357
00:16:22,126 --> 00:16:24,901
Again, sober and fully clothed.

358
00:16:25,682 --> 00:16:27,915
"Jump out of a plane."
Sober and clothed?

359
00:16:27,916 --> 00:16:30,596
And without someone pushing me.

360
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:32,825
I'm seein' a little trend here.

361
00:16:33,674 --> 00:16:36,325
Is there anything you
haven't done drunk or sober?

362
00:16:36,737 --> 00:16:38,018
Hmm...

363
00:16:38,416 --> 00:16:40,572
Christy, guess what.

364
00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:42,599
We're getting married!

365
00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:45,947
Of course you are.

366
00:16:47,086 --> 00:16:48,862
Those were your flowers.

367
00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,854
You know what's amazing?

368
00:17:00,024 --> 00:17:02,523
Even though I've been
scared and hopeless all week,

369
00:17:02,798 --> 00:17:04,494
I-I haven't thought about drinking.

370
00:17:04,826 --> 00:17:07,493
That is amazing. I ran out
of soy milk this morning

371
00:17:07,518 --> 00:17:09,877
and for a brief second
considered shooting heroin.

372
00:17:12,768 --> 00:17:13,817
Christy, I-I know

373
00:17:13,818 --> 00:17:15,057
I've been a nightmare through all this,

374
00:17:15,058 --> 00:17:16,227
and I'm sorry.

375
00:17:16,228 --> 00:17:17,397
Yeah, thanks.

376
00:17:17,398 --> 00:17:19,807
Third movie, Batman, seven letters.

377
00:17:23,994 --> 00:17:26,533
So, we got the results
from your biopsy...

378
00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:28,227
Just say it. I have cancer.

379
00:17:28,682 --> 00:17:31,227
Look at you, making my job easy.

380
00:17:31,228 --> 00:17:33,227
Oh, my God, what?

381
00:17:33,228 --> 00:17:34,727
The mole was indeed malignant,

382
00:17:34,728 --> 00:17:36,227
but we're confident we got it all.

383
00:17:36,228 --> 00:17:37,647
There's no need for further treatments,

384
00:17:37,648 --> 00:17:38,977
just... regular checkups.

385
00:17:39,744 --> 00:17:42,477
So what you're saying is,
not only did I have cancer,

386
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:44,397
I beat cancer?

387
00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:47,440
You beat it 'cause I carved
it out of your body, but okay.

388
00:17:48,018 --> 00:17:49,897
I'll see you again in six months.

389
00:17:50,031 --> 00:17:52,096
Please don't steal
any more cotton balls.

390
00:17:54,166 --> 00:17:58,204
Oh, Mom. I was so worried
I was gonna lose you.

391
00:17:58,229 --> 00:18:01,317
Really? How come you were
being so horrible to me?

392
00:18:01,318 --> 00:18:03,760
'Cause that's how I love!

393
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:08,143
I guess we have a wedding to plan.

394
00:18:08,398 --> 00:18:10,397
Uh...

395
00:18:10,398 --> 00:18:12,057
Mm.

396
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:15,994
Yeah, Steve, uh, listen,

397
00:18:16,166 --> 00:18:17,817
about our engagement...

398
00:18:17,818 --> 00:18:19,227
You're pushing me out of the plane?

399
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:22,510
I-I'm gonna live. Why would
I want to be married?

400
00:18:23,229 --> 00:18:27,791
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
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