1
00:00:00,883 --> 00:00:03,764
- Previously on Mom...
- I got a job.

2
00:00:03,789 --> 00:00:05,289
Really? Where?

3
00:00:05,291 --> 00:00:07,624
At Harrah's. I'm gonna
be a blackjack dealer.

4
00:00:08,835 --> 00:00:11,577
Wait a minute.
You're moving to Lake Tahoe?

5
00:00:11,602 --> 00:00:13,268
Yeah, my friend Lindsay's
dad is a pit boss

6
00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:14,820
and he hooked us up. We're
gonna share an apartment,

7
00:00:14,822 --> 00:00:16,772
and go to dealer
school. It'll be a blast.

8
00:00:16,774 --> 00:00:18,440
But what about finishing college?

9
00:00:18,442 --> 00:00:19,515
Making something of your life.

10
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:21,777
I am making something, money.

11
00:00:21,779 --> 00:00:24,079
When people win at blackjack,
they give you a tip.

12
00:00:24,081 --> 00:00:26,554
So I figure all I got to do
is make sure that they win.

13
00:00:28,713 --> 00:00:30,713
Oh, God, she'll be stripping in a month.

14
00:00:31,255 --> 00:00:33,622
- May I step in?
- Have at it.

15
00:00:33,624 --> 00:00:36,006
That sounds like a 
terrific plan, Violet.

16
00:00:36,031 --> 00:00:37,042
Good luck.

17
00:00:37,044 --> 00:00:39,761
That's how you step in? Step out.

18
00:00:39,763 --> 00:00:41,797
What? She's an adult.

19
00:00:41,799 --> 00:00:44,015
Maybe college isn't the
right thing for her now.

20
00:00:44,017 --> 00:00:46,184
So you'd rather have her deal blackjack?

21
00:00:46,186 --> 00:00:48,303
No, it's a terrible idea, but
let her find out for herself

22
00:00:48,305 --> 00:00:49,554
that she's an idiot.

23
00:00:49,556 --> 00:00:51,148
Thanks, Grandma.

24
00:00:51,975 --> 00:00:54,390
_

25
00:00:56,742 --> 00:00:58,328
Wow.

26
00:00:58,732 --> 00:01:01,233
Someone thinks she's having sex tonight.

27
00:01:01,531 --> 00:01:03,318
I better be having sex tonight.

28
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:04,820
It's been 14 months.

29
00:01:04,822 --> 00:01:06,455
I think I might be a virgin again.

30
00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:10,750
So who's gonna be
working the jaws of life?

31
00:01:11,211 --> 00:01:12,359
His name's Paul.

32
00:01:12,384 --> 00:01:14,551
I met him in the
Wednesday morning meeting.

33
00:01:14,665 --> 00:01:18,781
He's 40, builds houses,
never married, rescues dogs.

34
00:01:19,503 --> 00:01:21,132
"Rescues dogs."

35
00:01:22,601 --> 00:01:24,222
Checks all the boxes.

36
00:01:24,224 --> 00:01:26,341
Yep, just one more to go.

37
00:01:27,289 --> 00:01:29,177
You take care of business down there?

38
00:01:29,179 --> 00:01:30,479
Are you kidding me?

39
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,564
I'm waxed like a ballroom floor.

40
00:01:33,757 --> 00:01:37,319
Seriously, unless I take off his pants
and find a store-bought vagina,

41
00:01:37,321 --> 00:01:38,904
this guy's getting the ride of his life.

42
00:01:41,992 --> 00:01:43,525
Oh, God, please don't be canceling,

43
00:01:43,527 --> 00:01:45,343
- please don't be canceling.
- It's your daughter.

44
00:01:45,368 --> 00:01:48,119
- Let it go to voice mail...
- Hey, Vi, it's your Grandma, what's up?

45
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,448
Ooh, you don't sound so good.

46
00:01:50,450 --> 00:01:51,666
She's sick.

47
00:01:51,668 --> 00:01:53,451
- How sick?
- How sick?

48
00:01:53,453 --> 00:01:55,562
- Mono?
- What?

49
00:01:56,945 --> 00:01:58,726
Have you seen a doctor?

50
00:01:59,543 --> 00:02:01,671
Okay, okay, don't cry.

51
00:02:02,045 --> 00:02:04,045
Of course I'll come take care of you.

52
00:02:04,047 --> 00:02:05,297
I'll be there as soon as I can.

53
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,548
Mommy's coming.

54
00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:07,716
Just not the way she hoped.

55
00:02:10,771 --> 00:02:12,053
Oh, hey.

56
00:02:12,055 --> 00:02:14,055
Oh, my God, Paul, you're on time.

57
00:02:14,057 --> 00:02:15,601
Another box checked.

58
00:02:15,943 --> 00:02:17,609
Wow, you look great...

59
00:02:17,611 --> 00:02:20,171
Mm, mm! Okay.

60
00:02:21,064 --> 00:02:22,480
I'm sorry, I can't go out tonight.

61
00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:23,865
I'll text you why from the car.

62
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:25,066
Short version, mono.

63
00:02:25,554 --> 00:02:27,736
Not me, my daughter, I'm clean.

64
00:02:27,738 --> 00:02:29,738
Big sloppy rain check coming at you.

65
00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:31,957
She's serious, you're as good as done.

66
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:42,801
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

67
00:02:58,117 --> 00:03:00,937
Wow, you just blew past a Maserati.

68
00:03:01,771 --> 00:03:05,022
Just a rich douche bag who
doesn't know how to drive.

69
00:03:05,024 --> 00:03:07,574
Yeah, good point, y-you
still might want to slow down.

70
00:03:07,576 --> 00:03:10,444
- My daughter's sick. She needs me.
- She just has mono.

71
00:03:10,446 --> 00:03:11,946
That's what she admitted
to over the phone.

72
00:03:11,948 --> 00:03:14,828
For all I know, she's
riddled with... Ebola.

73
00:03:15,773 --> 00:03:18,035
Well, if that's the case,
then there's no hurry.

74
00:03:18,037 --> 00:03:20,656
By the time we get there,
she'll be 90 pounds of soup.

75
00:03:21,796 --> 00:03:23,457
Not funny.

76
00:03:23,459 --> 00:03:25,202
Why are you making yourself crazy?

77
00:03:25,227 --> 00:03:26,593
You used to get sick all the time

78
00:03:26,595 --> 00:03:28,478
when you were a kid, I never panicked.

79
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,431
Just put on "I Love Lucy" and
gave you a big glass of Tang.

80
00:03:32,187 --> 00:03:35,085
And that's why I still
buy my pants at Gap Kids.

81
00:03:35,938 --> 00:03:37,437
Hey, don't put that on me.

82
00:03:37,439 --> 00:03:39,148
Your father was a lawn dwarf.

83
00:03:39,609 --> 00:03:42,062
Oh-oh

84
00:03:42,087 --> 00:03:43,570
Oh, you got to be kidding me.

85
00:03:43,595 --> 00:03:44,811
Pull up over here.

86
00:03:44,836 --> 00:03:46,252
Damn, damn, damn.

87
00:03:46,582 --> 00:03:47,781
Look at the bright side,

88
00:03:47,783 --> 00:03:49,664
you're gonna crush the breathalyzer.

89
00:03:51,287 --> 00:03:52,765
Do you know why I pulled you over?

90
00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:54,373
Yes, I was speeding, but my daughter's

91
00:03:54,398 --> 00:03:56,600
up in Lake Tahoe and she has mono.

92
00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:58,320
I have to get there. She's all alone.

93
00:03:58,345 --> 00:03:59,898
I'm sorry to hear that, but...

94
00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:01,506
You don't understand,
she was never there for me

95
00:04:01,531 --> 00:04:03,698
so I'm trying to break
the cycle of neglect.

96
00:04:04,406 --> 00:04:06,099
Yeah, that's not really
what this is about...

97
00:04:06,101 --> 00:04:07,551
Tell him, Mom, tell him.

98
00:04:08,109 --> 00:04:10,470
I was a horrible mother, Officer.

99
00:04:10,472 --> 00:04:12,820
She was one step away
from being a feral cat.

100
00:04:13,562 --> 00:04:15,525
License and registration.

101
00:04:15,527 --> 00:04:16,773
Yes, sir.

102
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:17,874
You been drinking?

103
00:04:18,001 --> 00:04:20,919
Not since May 14, 2013.

104
00:04:21,062 --> 00:04:22,828
I can prove it. I have a chip.

105
00:04:22,861 --> 00:04:24,227
That's all right.

106
00:04:24,252 --> 00:04:25,726
Wait here.

107
00:04:26,687 --> 00:04:29,573
Oh, God, I can't afford a ticket.

108
00:04:29,575 --> 00:04:31,914
There is a way to get out of it.

109
00:04:31,964 --> 00:04:33,607
Don't even think it.

110
00:04:33,632 --> 00:04:35,132
You're all waxed, you should use it

111
00:04:35,157 --> 00:04:37,207
before you get five o'clock shadow.

112
00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:40,078
Why don't you do Officer Handsome?

113
00:04:40,103 --> 00:04:42,062
'Cause I look like ZZ Top down there.

114
00:04:43,505 --> 00:04:44,721
Oh, hey, look,

115
00:04:44,723 --> 00:04:46,473
the Maserati finally caught up to us.

116
00:04:46,475 --> 00:04:47,758
And they're giving us the finger.

117
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,234
Douche bag!

118
00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:50,950
Not you, Officer.

119
00:04:53,868 --> 00:04:56,251
I can't believe it, a $200 ticket.

120
00:04:56,276 --> 00:04:57,526
Just throw it away.

121
00:04:57,551 --> 00:04:59,167
They never follow up on those things.

122
00:04:59,438 --> 00:05:01,571
That's jury duty.

123
00:05:02,195 --> 00:05:04,210
I don't think so.

124
00:05:08,611 --> 00:05:12,780
25, 26, 27.

125
00:05:13,165 --> 00:05:14,497
Wait, where's 28?

126
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:15,742
Violet's in 28.

127
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:17,070
I don't see a 28.

128
00:05:17,148 --> 00:05:18,181
It has to be here.

129
00:05:18,183 --> 00:05:19,265
And we're definitely in

130
00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:20,928
Colony Two, Building Four?

131
00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,769
You said Colony Four, Building Two.

132
00:05:22,771 --> 00:05:24,765
I did not, I said...

133
00:05:26,808 --> 00:05:28,307
Yeah, that is what I said.

134
00:05:31,007 --> 00:05:33,162
- Are you getting a signal?
- Not yet.

135
00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:35,759
Should we go to the roof
and navigate by the stars?

136
00:05:36,195 --> 00:05:37,533
I keep thinking we're
gonna come across the bones

137
00:05:37,535 --> 00:05:38,918
of a dead pizza guy.

138
00:05:41,122 --> 00:05:42,955
Honey, I promise we're in the building.

139
00:05:42,957 --> 00:05:44,707
Can you hear your
grandma screaming? Scream.

140
00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:47,367
We are here! We are here!

141
00:05:48,351 --> 00:05:49,796
Calm down, we're on our way.

142
00:05:49,798 --> 00:05:51,357
- She heard me?
- No.

143
00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:53,716
- Oh, damn.
- Now what?

144
00:05:54,108 --> 00:05:56,412
We need to start rationing our supplies.

145
00:05:59,474 --> 00:06:01,307
Oh, thank God.

146
00:06:01,309 --> 00:06:02,391
I'm here, baby.

147
00:06:02,393 --> 00:06:03,559
Thanks, kid. I'll let you know

148
00:06:03,561 --> 00:06:05,194
if we need those show tickets.

149
00:06:07,945 --> 00:06:09,732
Oh, honey, you're burning up.

150
00:06:09,734 --> 00:06:11,234
I feel awful.

151
00:06:11,236 --> 00:06:12,318
Hi, Vi.

152
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,786
Hey, Grandma.

153
00:06:13,788 --> 00:06:15,154
What's with all the luggage?

154
00:06:15,156 --> 00:06:16,820
Aren't you taking me home?

155
00:06:17,429 --> 00:06:18,658
You are home.

156
00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:20,493
No, I mean home home.

157
00:06:21,429 --> 00:06:23,265
Where we live?

158
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,500
Yeah, I want to move
back in with you guys.

159
00:06:27,502 --> 00:06:30,084
But what about your roommate...
What's her name, Sarah?

160
00:06:30,109 --> 00:06:31,549
I thought you loved her.

161
00:06:31,574 --> 00:06:33,468
Not anymore, she's a bitch.

162
00:06:35,106 --> 00:06:36,625
'Sup.

163
00:06:38,505 --> 00:06:40,765
- Who's that?
- Sarah's boyfriend.

164
00:06:42,517 --> 00:06:43,933
Does he have mono, too?

165
00:06:43,935 --> 00:06:46,235
I don't know, I'm not a doctor.

166
00:06:46,643 --> 00:06:48,569
I think I know why Sarah's a bitch.

167
00:06:50,408 --> 00:06:51,524
Can we just go?

168
00:06:51,526 --> 00:06:52,742
What about your job?

169
00:06:52,744 --> 00:06:54,026
Don't you need to call someone?

170
00:06:54,028 --> 00:06:55,528
Tell them you'll be out for awhile?

171
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:58,581
Why are you asking 
me so many questions?

172
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:02,012
Okay, okay. Let's get you home.

173
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:04,620
Where did you park?

174
00:07:04,622 --> 00:07:06,038
In the parking structure.

175
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,006
Which one?

176
00:07:07,835 --> 00:07:09,375
Oh, God.

177
00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:11,578
Wait here, I'll find the kid.

178
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,210
Little boy!

179
00:07:13,704 --> 00:07:15,620
Little boy!

180
00:07:17,523 --> 00:07:21,137
- How's she doing?
- Out like a light.

181
00:07:23,942 --> 00:07:25,906
Man, I miss NyQuil.

182
00:07:26,687 --> 00:07:28,872
- Poor baby.
- Poor baby my ass.

183
00:07:28,897 --> 00:07:31,530
I'm telling you, we're
driving a getaway car.

184
00:07:31,532 --> 00:07:33,983
What are you talking about?
She's very sick.

185
00:07:33,985 --> 00:07:35,568
Oh, I believe she's sick.

186
00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:37,153
I just think there's
something else going on here.

187
00:07:37,155 --> 00:07:38,237
Like what?

188
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,885
Think about it... all of a sudden
she wants to move back in with you?

189
00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:43,326
Now, correct me if I'm wrong,

190
00:07:43,328 --> 00:07:45,244
but last we checked, she hates you.

191
00:07:45,812 --> 00:07:47,413
Maybe she's outgrown that.

192
00:07:47,415 --> 00:07:49,248
Maybe my daughter's
come to appreciate me.

193
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:50,583
Yeah, and maybe she wasn't banging

194
00:07:50,585 --> 00:07:52,062
her roommate's boyfriend.

195
00:07:54,422 --> 00:07:56,201
You just think the
worst about everybody.

196
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,641
Yeah, and I'm right 98% of the time.

197
00:07:58,643 --> 00:07:59,926
Well, we'll just see.

198
00:07:59,928 --> 00:08:01,177
Yeah, I'll tell you
what you're gonna see.

199
00:08:01,179 --> 00:08:02,819
You're gonna see my,
"I told you so" face.

200
00:08:03,598 --> 00:08:04,897
Ugh.

201
00:08:04,899 --> 00:08:06,507
God.

202
00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:11,354
Where's Roscoe?

203
00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:12,571
At his dad's.

204
00:08:12,914 --> 00:08:13,689
Ugh, I hope these sheets

205
00:08:13,691 --> 00:08:15,775
aren't filled with his boogers.

206
00:08:15,777 --> 00:08:17,717
That's the least of your problems.

207
00:08:17,742 --> 00:08:18,911
For the last few months,

208
00:08:18,913 --> 00:08:20,529
this has been your grandma's sex bed.

209
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,403
Hey, Vi, quick question.

210
00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:25,843
I was emptying your bag
to get some laundry going

211
00:08:25,868 --> 00:08:28,757
and I found what appears to be
$2,000 in one of your socks.

212
00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:30,882
What the hell?

213
00:08:31,164 --> 00:08:33,046
Which was my quick question.

214
00:08:33,698 --> 00:08:36,007
Yeah, they're just my tips
from dealing blackjack.

215
00:08:36,284 --> 00:08:37,210
Really?

216
00:08:37,322 --> 00:08:41,117
People tip you with sequentially
numbered, crisp $100 bills?

217
00:08:41,794 --> 00:08:43,070
Sometimes.

218
00:08:44,218 --> 00:08:46,626
Honey, do you want to tell us
what's going on?

219
00:08:46,628 --> 00:08:48,795
Not really, no.

220
00:08:49,468 --> 00:08:50,930
I promise I'm gonna love you

221
00:08:50,932 --> 00:08:51,931
no matter what.

222
00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:53,099
That being said,

223
00:08:53,101 --> 00:08:54,517
if you have broken any major laws,

224
00:08:54,519 --> 00:08:56,257
we will be turning you in...

225
00:08:56,282 --> 00:08:58,116
especially if there's a reward.

226
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,723
Just let me go to sleep.

227
00:09:00,725 --> 00:09:02,392
Christy, why don't
you go make us some tea

228
00:09:02,394 --> 00:09:03,625
while I talk to my granddaughter?

229
00:09:03,718 --> 00:09:05,301
That's all right, I got this.

230
00:09:05,326 --> 00:09:06,546
Really? You think you're just gonna

231
00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:07,870
hug the truth out of her?

232
00:09:08,789 --> 00:09:11,804
Please, I'm so tired.

233
00:09:12,273 --> 00:09:15,071
Okay, we'll talk later.

234
00:09:15,073 --> 00:09:16,289
Sweet dreams.

235
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:18,374
Thank you.

236
00:09:21,668 --> 00:09:23,301
Why are you still here?

237
00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:28,429
Mom, what are you doing?

238
00:09:28,454 --> 00:09:30,097
Just make the tea.

239
00:09:30,122 --> 00:09:33,257
Maybe put some loud music on.

240
00:09:37,241 --> 00:09:39,157
- Hey, Christy.
- Yeah?

241
00:09:43,935 --> 00:09:46,352
Let's hear it, what's
the deal with the money?

242
00:09:46,354 --> 00:09:47,273
I'll give you three guesses.

243
00:09:47,301 --> 00:09:49,460
Ugh, I am not in the mood to play games.

244
00:09:49,485 --> 00:09:51,068
Too bad, I am. Guess.

245
00:09:52,035 --> 00:09:53,562
Okay.

246
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:56,507
Is she a hook...

247
00:09:58,082 --> 00:09:59,601
hook...

248
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,992
es..cort?

249
00:10:03,039 --> 00:10:04,537
Good guess, but no.

250
00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:05,914
You have two guesses remaining.

251
00:10:07,319 --> 00:10:09,273
Is she acting in por...

252
00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:12,462
por...

253
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,816
... adult film?

254
00:10:17,064 --> 00:10:18,897
One more try, make it count.

255
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,088
Do I win something here?

256
00:10:20,113 --> 00:10:21,496
This is the worst game ever.

257
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,593
Quickly, Christy, the clock is ticking.

258
00:10:23,618 --> 00:10:26,369
Okay, fine, she's selling drugs.

259
00:10:26,394 --> 00:10:27,894
Oh, come on, she's pretty,

260
00:10:27,896 --> 00:10:29,979
she's not smart, but thanks for playing.

261
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,148
Damn it.

262
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:34,679
I'm actually kind of
bummed out that I lost.

263
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,402
So, what is it?

264
00:10:36,404 --> 00:10:37,987
Turns out she agreed to marry

265
00:10:37,989 --> 00:10:39,739
some schmuck from a country

266
00:10:39,741 --> 00:10:42,015
she's not sure how to pronounce,
so he could get his green card.

267
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,339
For $2,000?

268
00:10:43,628 --> 00:10:45,962
No, for $10,000.

269
00:10:45,964 --> 00:10:49,289
She spent the rest on,
and I quote, "fun stuff."

270
00:10:49,843 --> 00:10:51,334
Oh, God.

271
00:10:51,336 --> 00:10:53,085
So, now I have
a son-in-law?

272
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:55,304
Oh, no, no, she didn't
marry poor Makhmud.

273
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:57,257
She took his money and his innocence.

274
00:10:58,393 --> 00:10:59,820
Oy.

275
00:11:00,261 --> 00:11:01,539
Plunkett women,

276
00:11:01,611 --> 00:11:04,906
making bad decisions
for three generations.

277
00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:17,060
I mean, you make peace with the fact

278
00:11:17,085 --> 00:11:18,968
that your kid may not be
the best person in the world,

279
00:11:18,993 --> 00:11:20,125
but what do you do

280
00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:22,406
when you find out she
steals, cheats, lies

281
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,681
and spreads disease like a plague rat?

282
00:11:25,296 --> 00:11:26,507
Well...

283
00:11:26,532 --> 00:11:28,199
if you're not particularly bright,

284
00:11:28,224 --> 00:11:30,107
you bring her home and share cutlery.

285
00:11:30,214 --> 00:11:32,548
What choice did I have? I'm her mother.

286
00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:34,416
I'm responsible for
the way she turned out.

287
00:11:34,418 --> 00:11:35,328
Yeah, I'll tell you
what your problem is:

288
00:11:35,353 --> 00:11:36,352
you're too soft on her.

289
00:11:36,377 --> 00:11:37,601
You got to lay down the law.

290
00:11:37,727 --> 00:11:39,226
These words stick in my throat

291
00:11:39,251 --> 00:11:40,234
like a chicken bone,

292
00:11:40,259 --> 00:11:42,142
but Bonnie's right.

293
00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:44,296
Wait, what did I say?

294
00:11:44,321 --> 00:11:46,046
Because now I'm
starting to doubt myself.

295
00:11:46,071 --> 00:11:47,382
Your daughter's 21.

296
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,075
At what point is she
responsible for her own life?

297
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,050
- Yeah, but she never...
- No buts.

298
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:55,404
You got to tell her as soon
as she's feeling better,

299
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:58,440
she has to get a job and
pay the green card guy back.

300
00:11:58,442 --> 00:11:59,820
Damn straight, Marjorie.

301
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,718
Hold up, what is happening?

302
00:12:03,148 --> 00:12:05,804
It's weirding me out, too.

303
00:12:05,829 --> 00:12:08,663
How can I be hard on her? I
was drunk most of her life.

304
00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:11,522
She had to take care of herself,
she had to take care of Roscoe.

305
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,937
Hell, half the time she
had to take care of me.

306
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,476
But you're sober now.

307
00:12:15,663 --> 00:12:17,529
And believe it or
not, you're a good mom.

308
00:12:17,554 --> 00:12:18,804
You can handle it.

309
00:12:19,402 --> 00:12:20,901
How about this?

310
00:12:21,086 --> 00:12:23,117
How about I start drinking
and drugging again?

311
00:12:23,361 --> 00:12:25,161
And how does that help Violet?

312
00:12:25,373 --> 00:12:28,140
It doesn't, but I
won't give a rat's ass.

313
00:12:31,773 --> 00:12:34,024
Sorry, you don't get to
take the easy way out.

314
00:12:34,049 --> 00:12:36,216
You got to suck it up and do your best.

315
00:12:36,218 --> 00:12:38,265
Yeah, fake it till you make it. Up top.

316
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,756
Hey, boom.

317
00:12:40,022 --> 00:12:41,271
Let's share some pudding.

318
00:12:41,273 --> 00:12:43,390
And just like that, you ruined it.

319
00:12:48,039 --> 00:12:50,389
What if I tell her what
to do and she says no?

320
00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:52,366
Then you tell her to hit
the bricks, cut her loose,

321
00:12:52,368 --> 00:12:53,817
it's your way or the highway.

322
00:12:53,819 --> 00:12:55,986
Do you have any advice
that doesn't sound like

323
00:12:55,988 --> 00:12:57,821
a John Cougar Mellencamp song?

324
00:12:58,156 --> 00:13:00,707
You kick her out. It's that simple.

325
00:13:00,945 --> 00:13:02,376
You're right.

326
00:13:02,421 --> 00:13:03,875
Tough love.

327
00:13:04,281 --> 00:13:06,380
You know, I didn't want to say
anything in front of Marjorie,

328
00:13:06,382 --> 00:13:08,248
but I do know why this is hard for you.

329
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:10,467
It took me a long time
to get over my guilt

330
00:13:10,469 --> 00:13:11,668
about how I raised you.

331
00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:15,326
- Really? You're over that?
- Yep.

332
00:13:15,351 --> 00:13:17,090
Well, I don't know
how to break this to you,

333
00:13:17,092 --> 00:13:18,342
but you shouldn't be.

334
00:13:18,344 --> 00:13:19,977
Too bad. I am.

335
00:13:19,979 --> 00:13:22,179
No, no, no, you've
accumulated a level of guilt

336
00:13:22,181 --> 00:13:23,847
that should never be gotten over.

337
00:13:23,849 --> 00:13:25,732
Hey, I'm not saying
it happened overnight.

338
00:13:25,734 --> 00:13:26,850
It took months.

339
00:13:26,852 --> 00:13:28,185
Months?!

340
00:13:28,187 --> 00:13:30,437
Years of neglect, and
it took you months?

341
00:13:30,439 --> 00:13:31,937
Almost three.

342
00:13:33,859 --> 00:13:35,692
You know what? I would prefer

343
00:13:35,694 --> 00:13:37,750
if you not compare
yourself to me anymore.

344
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,247
You're right. One of us has
dealt with her issues and grown.

345
00:13:40,249 --> 00:13:41,415
it's me.

346
00:13:41,417 --> 00:13:42,616
Oh, my God!

347
00:13:42,618 --> 00:13:44,001
Do you hear yourself?

348
00:13:44,003 --> 00:13:45,502
You should feel guilty
about Violet, too,

349
00:13:45,504 --> 00:13:47,371
'cause you messed me
up, which messed her up,

350
00:13:47,373 --> 00:13:48,922
so it all comes back to you!

351
00:13:48,924 --> 00:13:51,304
You're... Johnny Apple-Guilt!

352
00:13:51,593 --> 00:13:54,211
Dealt with that one, too. Over it.

353
00:13:57,433 --> 00:13:58,682
Get out!

354
00:13:58,684 --> 00:14:00,684
- What?
- You heard me.

355
00:14:00,686 --> 00:14:02,552
You want to see some
tough love? Walk home.

356
00:14:02,554 --> 00:14:04,438
We're right in front of our building.

357
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,807
It's the principle. Get out!

358
00:14:06,809 --> 00:14:08,442
All right.

359
00:14:08,444 --> 00:14:10,515
See you in a minute.

360
00:14:13,585 --> 00:14:15,899
And it's been a pattern your whole life.

361
00:14:15,901 --> 00:14:19,240
You let that idiot Luke
knock you up in high school.

362
00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:21,405
You gave up the baby so
you could go to college,

363
00:14:21,407 --> 00:14:23,540
then dropped out so you could sabotage

364
00:14:23,542 --> 00:14:26,178
some poor busboy's American dream.

365
00:14:26,203 --> 00:14:29,045
Do you know how many wives
ten grand could've bought him

366
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:30,047
in Uzbekistan?

367
00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:31,915
- But, Mom...
- No!

368
00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:33,750
That's enough!

369
00:14:36,672 --> 00:14:37,888
I did it.

370
00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:39,306
Oh, I heard.

371
00:14:39,308 --> 00:14:41,425
- I was tough.
- You were tough.

372
00:14:41,427 --> 00:14:43,859
Ballsy. Big swingin' ballsy.

373
00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:46,263
I laid down the law.

374
00:14:46,265 --> 00:14:47,481
I told her,

375
00:14:47,483 --> 00:14:49,433
"As soon as you're on your feet,

376
00:14:49,435 --> 00:14:51,435
"you're getting a job
and paying Makhmud back.

377
00:14:51,437 --> 00:14:53,270
And if not, you're out of here "

378
00:14:53,272 --> 00:14:54,539
Again, I heard.

379
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,054
And you know something?

380
00:14:58,962 --> 00:15:00,678
It feels good.

381
00:15:03,414 --> 00:15:05,414
And now it feels bad.

382
00:15:06,368 --> 00:15:08,001
Ignore it.

383
00:15:08,003 --> 00:15:09,453
Right.

384
00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:14,341
- Oh, God.
- Don't fall for it.

385
00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:17,094
Those sobs are the
sound of good parenting.

386
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,847
You're right, I am a good parent.

387
00:15:20,849 --> 00:15:22,257
You sure are.

388
00:15:23,007 --> 00:15:24,194
Where you going?

389
00:15:24,219 --> 00:15:26,603
- To comfort Violet.
- What?

390
00:15:26,605 --> 00:15:29,389
I'm a grandparent, it's a
whole different ball game.

391
00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:33,810
Hey.

392
00:15:33,812 --> 00:15:36,780
- Hey. You're looking better.
- I feel better.

393
00:15:36,782 --> 00:15:38,648
Better enough to start
looking for a job?

394
00:15:38,673 --> 00:15:41,007
- Balls.
- You need to get a job.

395
00:15:42,287 --> 00:15:45,890
Actually, I have a plan
that can fix everything.

396
00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:48,291
Really? Do tell.

397
00:15:48,546 --> 00:15:50,994
Well, you mentioned Luke,
and it got me thinking...

398
00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:53,330
You mean burger-flipping,
can't-work-a-condom Luke?

399
00:15:53,945 --> 00:15:55,499
Not anymore.

400
00:15:55,501 --> 00:15:57,501
I checked his Facebook page, and it says

401
00:15:57,503 --> 00:15:59,302
that he's single and has a good job.

402
00:15:59,304 --> 00:16:01,560
So I texted him a
video of me doing yoga.

403
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,002
You know, like, downward
dog, but tasteful.

404
00:16:05,227 --> 00:16:07,561
I'll give you three
guesses where this is going.

405
00:16:07,563 --> 00:16:08,728
Don't need 'em.

406
00:16:08,730 --> 00:16:10,230
You're back together with Luke.

407
00:16:10,232 --> 00:16:11,896
Yep. I'm moving in with him.

408
00:16:11,921 --> 00:16:13,183
What do I win?

409
00:16:13,185 --> 00:16:16,403
It's a new grandchild!

410
00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:20,416
Oh, that's him.

411
00:16:20,441 --> 00:16:22,491
Don't mention the mono.

412
00:16:26,271 --> 00:16:28,187
- Hi.
- Hey, baby.

413
00:16:29,765 --> 00:16:32,070
She's got bigger balls than both of us.

414
00:16:32,305 --> 00:16:35,006
And now she's got his.

415
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,122
And Luke's making a lot
of money now. Tell 'em.

416
00:16:47,475 --> 00:16:49,025
I make a lot of money now.

417
00:16:51,492 --> 00:16:52,851
N-No, tell them how.

418
00:16:52,876 --> 00:16:55,906
Oh. I help design video games
for this really cool company.

419
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:59,554
Um, they have weed and
M&M's in the break room.

420
00:17:02,203 --> 00:17:03,867
And he bought his own condo.

421
00:17:04,785 --> 00:17:06,118
Is the condo in your name?

422
00:17:06,143 --> 00:17:08,059
- Yeah.
- Good, keep it that way.

423
00:17:08,968 --> 00:17:11,578
It's so trippy, like, a week
ago I was thinking to myself,

424
00:17:11,603 --> 00:17:13,320
"Luke, your life is complete,

425
00:17:13,345 --> 00:17:14,851
you have everything you've ever wanted."

426
00:17:14,876 --> 00:17:17,664
And you wisely decided
to shake things up.

427
00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:21,945
I did when I saw Violet's hot
booty twerking on my iWatch.

428
00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:25,554
Oh, what mother doesn't
want to hear that?

429
00:17:27,351 --> 00:17:30,296
- Come on, let's go get my stuff.
- Okay.

430
00:17:31,841 --> 00:17:33,207
You know, I just got to say,

431
00:17:33,232 --> 00:17:35,482
it's great to be part
of the family again.

432
00:17:35,882 --> 00:17:37,965
It's very nice to see you, Luke.

433
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,281
You poor, clueless bastard.

434
00:17:42,038 --> 00:17:44,455
Okay, it's official.

435
00:17:44,879 --> 00:17:46,164
I don't like her.

436
00:17:46,189 --> 00:17:48,440
Yeah. She's horrible.

437
00:17:48,465 --> 00:17:50,882
I mean, I used a lot of guys in my day,

438
00:17:51,009 --> 00:17:52,925
but I just sort of fell into it.

439
00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:55,117
Drink with them, sleep with them,

440
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:58,310
maybe get some blow and
a free McMuffin out of it.

441
00:18:00,082 --> 00:18:02,449
But I never went into it with a plan.

442
00:18:02,474 --> 00:18:04,574
Well... you always want your children

443
00:18:04,599 --> 00:18:06,516
to do better than you did.

444
00:18:08,308 --> 00:18:10,642
Oh, God, she is doing better.

445
00:18:10,855 --> 00:18:13,572
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --