1
00:00:02,992 --> 00:00:04,491
Hi, I'm Jill. I'm an alcoholic.
2
00:00:04,493 --> 00:00:06,377
Hi, Jill.
3
00:00:07,032 --> 00:00:09,687
I got to tell you, if it
wasn't for this meeting tonight,
4
00:00:09,727 --> 00:00:11,444
I never would've
gotten out of bed today.
5
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:12,978
Here we go.
6
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,296
Fifty shades of Jill.
7
00:00:16,296 --> 00:00:19,452
Today's the anniversary
of my mother's suicide.
8
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,718
Obviously, I misspoke.
9
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,490
It's so weird
10
00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,826
'cause I remember it
like it was yesterday.
11
00:00:27,912 --> 00:00:29,968
I came home from school a little early
12
00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:32,327
'cause cheerleading
practice was cut short.
13
00:00:33,077 --> 00:00:35,134
Shannon Benson misjudged a scissor kick
14
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:36,835
and broke her own nose...
15
00:00:38,055 --> 00:00:40,506
... which, believe me, was a godsend.
16
00:00:43,428 --> 00:00:44,749
Anyway...
17
00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:48,814
I walked in the kitchen and
she gave me a real tight hug,
18
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,202
which was odd because she
wasn't much of a hugger.
19
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,331
And then she gave me her
credit card and told me
20
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,573
to go to the mall and
buy myself something nice.
21
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,726
And when I got back, I...
22
00:01:01,784 --> 00:01:04,652
I found her in the garage
slumped over the steering wheel
23
00:01:04,866 --> 00:01:06,702
with the motor running.
24
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:11,537
I just stood there in my
new peach leather jacket,
25
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:12,663
too scared to move.
26
00:01:15,126 --> 00:01:18,062
You know what, this is too...
27
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,484
I can't.
28
00:01:20,509 --> 00:01:22,286
Thank you.
29
00:01:25,436 --> 00:01:27,436
Would anyone else like to share?
30
00:01:27,438 --> 00:01:29,304
I'll go.
31
00:01:31,335 --> 00:01:32,975
Hi, Bonnie, alcoholic.
32
00:01:32,977 --> 00:01:34,276
Hi, Bonnie.
33
00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:36,506
What a day I've had.
34
00:01:37,249 --> 00:01:38,867
I waited around all morning
35
00:01:38,892 --> 00:01:40,232
for this package to be delivered.
36
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,867
I take two minutes to pee
37
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:42,992
and miss the guy.
38
00:01:43,788 --> 00:01:44,787
Now, I got to go
39
00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:46,624
wait in line at the post office forever.
40
00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:48,115
Ugh!
41
00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:49,812
I just want to kill myself.
42
00:01:51,109 --> 00:01:52,867
Oh, Mom!
43
00:01:52,892 --> 00:01:54,218
What?
44
00:01:58,469 --> 00:02:01,253
Well, you could've given me a heads up.
45
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,473
Sorry, I didn't know
the hand signal for,
46
00:02:04,475 --> 00:02:06,898
"Hey, idiot, Jill just
talked about her dead mother."
47
00:02:07,992 --> 00:02:09,762
You think she noticed?
48
00:02:09,764 --> 00:02:11,897
Yes, and do you know why she noticed?
49
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,432
Because she listens.
50
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,568
The reason the program
works is you share your pain,
51
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,968
other people listen and you feel
better 'cause you feel heard.
52
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,691
You feel like you're not alone.
53
00:02:19,716 --> 00:02:22,007
Oh, my God, look, a three-legged dog.
54
00:02:23,347 --> 00:02:25,464
He's got an apple.
55
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:37,694
Synced and corrected by
Atrin021
56
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:50,426
Are you okay, honey?
57
00:02:51,452 --> 00:02:52,641
I guess.
58
00:02:52,666 --> 00:02:54,632
Just... too sad to eat.
59
00:02:55,039 --> 00:02:58,073
Well, just know that
we're all here for you.
60
00:03:00,757 --> 00:03:02,461
You know, it's always a hard day for me,
61
00:03:02,463 --> 00:03:04,246
but this year it's just
really kicking my ass.
62
00:03:04,248 --> 00:03:05,914
What do you think that's about?
63
00:03:07,168 --> 00:03:09,812
My mother was 37 when she died.
64
00:03:10,505 --> 00:03:12,015
That's how old I am now.
65
00:03:12,657 --> 00:03:14,624
I've actually outlived her.
66
00:03:15,523 --> 00:03:16,925
Okay, this is serious.
67
00:03:16,927 --> 00:03:18,710
She told us her real age.
68
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,348
She had so much... A husband, a family,
69
00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:25,663
a career... She still took her life.
70
00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:27,755
I mean, I don't have any of that stuff.
71
00:03:27,780 --> 00:03:29,452
What am I doing?
72
00:03:31,609 --> 00:03:34,109
Who the hell puts
mustard on chicken salad?
73
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:39,114
I know, I know, I should've
left her in the car.
74
00:03:40,859 --> 00:03:42,284
You know, I-I think I'm gonna go.
75
00:03:42,286 --> 00:03:44,002
I'm just bringing the group down.
76
00:03:44,004 --> 00:03:45,170
That's all right.
77
00:03:45,172 --> 00:03:46,922
I do that all the time and I stay.
78
00:03:48,592 --> 00:03:50,175
Yeah, Jill, hang out.
79
00:03:50,177 --> 00:03:51,890
We can go catch a movie or something.
80
00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:53,788
You guys are sweet.
81
00:03:53,997 --> 00:03:55,163
I appreciate it.
82
00:03:55,299 --> 00:03:57,734
- Bye.
- See you.
83
00:03:59,637 --> 00:04:01,303
Okay, I don't know about you,
84
00:04:01,305 --> 00:04:02,438
but I'm a little worried.
85
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,639
She's definitely not herself.
86
00:04:03,641 --> 00:04:05,641
Yeah, it's time to circle the wagons,
87
00:04:05,643 --> 00:04:07,810
make sure we're
available if she needs us.
88
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:08,977
It just goes to show,
89
00:04:08,979 --> 00:04:10,362
you can have all the money in the world
90
00:04:10,364 --> 00:04:11,780
and still be so unhappy.
91
00:04:11,782 --> 00:04:13,065
Very true.
92
00:04:14,183 --> 00:04:15,515
You know...
93
00:04:16,654 --> 00:04:18,117
... I spoke too soon.
94
00:04:18,142 --> 00:04:20,343
The mustard is working.
95
00:04:28,499 --> 00:04:31,667
- Hey, wake up.
- What? Is that your wife?
96
00:04:35,005 --> 00:04:36,588
There's someone at the door.
97
00:04:36,590 --> 00:04:37,923
Well, go answer it.
98
00:04:37,925 --> 00:04:39,174
No, this is when you
99
00:04:39,176 --> 00:04:41,234
being a giant comes in handy.
100
00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:48,934
- Who is it?
- It's Jill.
101
00:04:48,936 --> 00:04:49,918
It's Jill.
102
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,640
Thank you.
103
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,756
I know we said we'd be there for her,
104
00:04:54,758 --> 00:04:57,296
but I assumed it'd be
during business hours.
105
00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,361
Sorry to bother you,
106
00:04:59,363 --> 00:05:01,163
but I have some things
that I wanted to give you.
107
00:05:01,165 --> 00:05:03,406
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, why you ask?
108
00:05:03,431 --> 00:05:04,930
It's after midnight.
109
00:05:04,955 --> 00:05:06,952
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you guys
110
00:05:06,954 --> 00:05:08,632
have jobs and stuff.
111
00:05:10,341 --> 00:05:12,341
Here, this is for you.
112
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,147
Oh, my God, this is a Rolex.
113
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:18,917
What are you doing?
114
00:05:19,216 --> 00:05:20,849
Well, I have all these things,
115
00:05:20,851 --> 00:05:21,884
they don't make me happy,
116
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:22,671
so I'm getting rid of them.
117
00:05:22,696 --> 00:05:24,469
Simplify, simplify, simplify.
118
00:05:24,471 --> 00:05:26,939
Or to simplify, just simplify.
119
00:05:27,523 --> 00:05:28,834
Okay, you're freaking me out.
120
00:05:28,859 --> 00:05:30,192
Mom, say something.
121
00:05:30,194 --> 00:05:32,060
That watch may be too
big for your wrist.
122
00:05:34,218 --> 00:05:35,731
I'm not taking this.
123
00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:37,232
Come on, let's have
a cup of tea and talk.
124
00:05:37,234 --> 00:05:38,650
I really don't have
time to talk, though,
125
00:05:38,652 --> 00:05:39,735
'cause I've got some clothes and purses
126
00:05:39,737 --> 00:05:41,153
- for Marjorie and Wendy.
- It can wait.
127
00:05:41,155 --> 00:05:42,404
You're not Santa Claus.
128
00:05:42,406 --> 00:05:43,539
You don't have to do
it all in one night.
129
00:05:43,541 --> 00:05:45,023
I like purses.
130
00:05:48,662 --> 00:05:50,746
Victor, I know we said
we'd go to the mall,
131
00:05:50,748 --> 00:05:52,218
but Jill's in crisis.
132
00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:55,133
Yes, they probably can
handle her without me,
133
00:05:55,135 --> 00:05:57,386
but I'd rather they not know that.
134
00:05:58,339 --> 00:05:59,687
I got to go.
135
00:06:00,624 --> 00:06:02,085
Hi.
136
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,344
Suddenly I feel under dressed.
137
00:06:05,517 --> 00:06:07,316
"Suddenly"?
138
00:06:08,766 --> 00:06:10,179
Where'd you get the tiara?
139
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,453
Jill gave it to me.
140
00:06:11,602 --> 00:06:14,968
She was Miss Buttermilk Biscuit 1997.
141
00:06:15,239 --> 00:06:17,105
And you weren't. Give it back.
142
00:06:17,107 --> 00:06:18,774
No. It was a gift
143
00:06:18,776 --> 00:06:20,525
from a dear and
possibly suicidal friend.
144
00:06:20,527 --> 00:06:21,944
It means a lot to me.
145
00:06:24,748 --> 00:06:25,831
Jill,
146
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:27,156
time to wake up.
147
00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:29,476
Go away.
148
00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:30,786
It's 3:00.
149
00:06:30,788 --> 00:06:32,287
Don't you have things to do?
150
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:35,374
The Pilates class, massage,
151
00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:37,546
something to wax?
152
00:06:37,923 --> 00:06:40,674
Those things all sound so trivial now.
153
00:06:40,848 --> 00:06:43,682
They are, that's why you love them.
154
00:06:43,879 --> 00:06:46,702
The Great Grey Hope is here.
155
00:06:48,138 --> 00:06:49,721
I don't know what to do.
156
00:06:49,723 --> 00:06:51,690
She came over in the middle
of the night all wound up,
157
00:06:51,692 --> 00:06:53,475
then she crashed and I
can't get her out of bed.
158
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,413
It's okay, I got it.
159
00:06:56,727 --> 00:06:58,611
Hey, sweetie.
160
00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,617
Hey, Marjorie.
161
00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:04,653
I understand you're giving away
162
00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:05,821
all your stuff.
163
00:07:05,823 --> 00:07:08,457
I have a teapot for you in my car.
164
00:07:08,459 --> 00:07:10,242
I don't want your teapot, honey.
165
00:07:10,244 --> 00:07:11,945
Is it silver?
166
00:07:13,297 --> 00:07:14,963
Jill, giving away all your stuff
167
00:07:14,965 --> 00:07:16,665
sounds like a cry for help.
168
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,406
It's just stuff.
169
00:07:18,836 --> 00:07:20,218
I'm still alone.
170
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,637
You're not alone.
171
00:07:21,639 --> 00:07:23,171
Yes, I am!
172
00:07:23,173 --> 00:07:24,640
I mean, you have a husband
173
00:07:24,642 --> 00:07:25,641
and these two have each other.
174
00:07:25,643 --> 00:07:27,562
- Real fun.
- Lucky us.
175
00:07:28,262 --> 00:07:31,346
All I go home to is my housekeeper,
176
00:07:31,348 --> 00:07:33,015
my gardener and my pool guy.
177
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,349
Well, there you go.
178
00:07:34,351 --> 00:07:35,517
Be grateful for them.
179
00:07:36,046 --> 00:07:37,718
They hate me.
180
00:07:38,322 --> 00:07:42,357
Okay, you got your health,
you have your sobriety...
181
00:07:42,359 --> 00:07:44,523
A clean house with a pool and a garden.
182
00:07:45,273 --> 00:07:47,529
Sounds to me like
somebody needs a meeting.
183
00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:49,675
Oh, why bother?
184
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:51,833
My life is pointless.
185
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,646
Okay, that's it.
186
00:07:53,671 --> 00:07:54,788
We're done.
187
00:07:55,372 --> 00:07:56,505
Hey!
188
00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:57,873
You just crossed the line
189
00:07:57,875 --> 00:07:59,508
from feeling your feelings
190
00:07:59,510 --> 00:08:01,176
to feeling sorry for yourself.
191
00:08:01,178 --> 00:08:02,234
Get her.
192
00:08:02,846 --> 00:08:04,513
So, instead of laying around here,
193
00:08:04,515 --> 00:08:05,881
wallowing in self-pity,
194
00:08:05,883 --> 00:08:07,015
you're gonna help someone
195
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:08,410
less fortunate than you.
196
00:08:08,843 --> 00:08:11,664
I gave them a watch and a tiara.
197
00:08:12,015 --> 00:08:13,805
I volunteer at a soup kitchen
198
00:08:13,807 --> 00:08:15,546
once a month. You're coming with me.
199
00:08:15,859 --> 00:08:18,026
To a soup kitchen?
200
00:08:18,028 --> 00:08:19,811
That's a great idea. I'll go, too.
201
00:08:19,813 --> 00:08:20,896
Mom?
202
00:08:20,898 --> 00:08:22,781
Sure, I could go for some soup.
203
00:08:24,284 --> 00:08:26,068
We're not having soup, are we?
204
00:08:30,124 --> 00:08:32,374
Hey, Charlotte, you're looking good.
205
00:08:32,376 --> 00:08:33,875
Hey, Marjorie.
206
00:08:33,877 --> 00:08:36,411
This is Jill, she's
helping us out today.
207
00:08:36,413 --> 00:08:37,662
Nice to meet you.
208
00:08:37,664 --> 00:08:39,881
Did she get a nudge from the judge?
209
00:08:39,883 --> 00:08:42,250
Nope, just volunteering.
210
00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:45,053
Oh, God bless you, sweetie.
211
00:08:45,055 --> 00:08:47,089
No, God bless you for,
212
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,924
you know, being homeless.
213
00:08:52,813 --> 00:08:54,229
You were right.
214
00:08:54,231 --> 00:08:56,921
A tiara would have
been out of place here.
215
00:08:57,901 --> 00:09:00,435
It's out of place everywhere.
216
00:09:00,437 --> 00:09:02,398
How long do we have to do this?
217
00:09:02,423 --> 00:09:04,156
Oh, for God's sake,
it's been ten minutes.
218
00:09:04,158 --> 00:09:05,440
That's not an answer.
219
00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:07,054
Seriously?
220
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:08,800
You're not getting anything out of this?
221
00:09:08,825 --> 00:09:10,270
Zip.
222
00:09:10,414 --> 00:09:12,748
No gratitude, nothing positive?
223
00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:15,177
Well, I wouldn't mind getting
the recipe for this cornbread.
224
00:09:16,528 --> 00:09:19,121
You can't really be that self-obsessed.
225
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:21,755
Hey, I'm here, I'm spooning
out this white stuff.
226
00:09:22,176 --> 00:09:23,258
It's mashed potatoes.
227
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:24,960
Yeah, I beg to differ.
228
00:09:26,547 --> 00:09:27,997
Thank you, Marjorie.
229
00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:29,765
I'm glad we're doing this.
230
00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,133
I thought it might help.
231
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:32,684
I didn't realize how wonderful it is
232
00:09:32,686 --> 00:09:34,099
to feel needed.
233
00:09:34,354 --> 00:09:36,304
To take care of those who
can't take care of themselves.
234
00:09:36,306 --> 00:09:37,722
Well, you know, you can come back here
235
00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:38,857
any time you want.
236
00:09:38,859 --> 00:09:39,975
They can always use the help.
237
00:09:39,977 --> 00:09:41,359
Oh, no.
238
00:09:41,361 --> 00:09:42,727
I'm never coming back here.
239
00:09:42,729 --> 00:09:43,979
It's gross.
240
00:09:45,783 --> 00:09:48,150
But now I know what's
missing in my life.
241
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,985
Well, that's terrific.
242
00:09:49,987 --> 00:09:51,153
You guys hear that?
243
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,237
Jill's figured out
244
00:09:52,239 --> 00:09:53,488
what's missing in her life.
245
00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:54,873
Great, what is it?
246
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,291
I need to have a baby.
247
00:09:57,077 --> 00:09:58,243
- What?
- A baby?
248
00:09:58,245 --> 00:09:59,578
Well, now I'm paying attention.
249
00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:00,996
Yeah, you know, something that loves me
250
00:10:00,998 --> 00:10:02,998
and needs me and isn't allowed to leave.
251
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,300
Way to go, Marjorie.
252
00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:17,536
... which is when I said,
"Way to go, Marjorie."
253
00:10:17,677 --> 00:10:20,662
I was just trying to
give Jill perspective.
254
00:10:20,664 --> 00:10:21,896
And it was a good idea.
255
00:10:21,898 --> 00:10:24,182
That went horribly, horribly wrong.
256
00:10:24,184 --> 00:10:26,985
So you guys all went to
a soup kitchen without me?
257
00:10:26,987 --> 00:10:30,021
Yeah, and it was full of
good-looking single guys.
258
00:10:33,021 --> 00:10:34,192
Don't get me wrong.
259
00:10:34,194 --> 00:10:36,277
I love her, but Jill is the last person
260
00:10:36,279 --> 00:10:37,829
in the world who
should be having a baby.
261
00:10:37,831 --> 00:10:39,364
Normally, I'd agree with you,
262
00:10:39,366 --> 00:10:42,583
but, I know a lot of women
with no maternal instincts
263
00:10:42,585 --> 00:10:44,669
who turned out to be great mothers.
264
00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,974
Thank you.
265
00:10:48,617 --> 00:10:50,150
Did you even think to call me?
266
00:10:51,878 --> 00:10:53,878
This isn't about you, Wendy.
267
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,131
Oh, hey, I finally got to
say it to somebody else.
268
00:10:58,052 --> 00:11:00,255
This isn't about you, Wendy.
269
00:11:01,179 --> 00:11:03,091
It's kind of fun.
270
00:11:03,523 --> 00:11:05,690
I don't think we have to overreact here.
271
00:11:05,692 --> 00:11:07,725
I mean, we all love Jill very much,
272
00:11:07,727 --> 00:11:08,893
but let's be honest,
273
00:11:08,895 --> 00:11:10,695
she has a short attention span.
274
00:11:10,697 --> 00:11:11,896
Today she wants a baby,
275
00:11:11,898 --> 00:11:13,898
tomorrow she'll want a Birkin bag.
276
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,400
She has a Birkin bag.
277
00:11:15,402 --> 00:11:18,450
Really? And all she gave
me was that stupid tiara?
278
00:11:19,039 --> 00:11:21,406
Wait, you guys got gifts?
279
00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:29,844
I can't believe she's already
picking out sperm donors.
280
00:11:29,869 --> 00:11:32,703
Well, she loves
shopping, it makes sense.
281
00:11:34,186 --> 00:11:35,269
So, what's the plan?
282
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:36,971
I don't know, figure out a way
283
00:11:36,973 --> 00:11:39,340
to talk her out of this baby craziness.
284
00:11:39,342 --> 00:11:40,925
Great. What do you need from me?
285
00:11:40,927 --> 00:11:42,060
Honestly?
286
00:11:42,062 --> 00:11:43,061
Go away for about an hour
287
00:11:43,063 --> 00:11:44,429
and come back with dinner.
288
00:11:45,265 --> 00:11:47,098
Excuse me, but I can help.
289
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:48,983
I will tell her how painful it was
290
00:11:48,985 --> 00:11:50,768
when you came out of me feet first.
291
00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:54,269
I came out feet first so I could run.
292
00:11:57,694 --> 00:11:59,160
Okay, so I've got my donors
293
00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,945
separated into three categories:
294
00:12:00,947 --> 00:12:02,947
brains, looks and good hair.
295
00:12:02,949 --> 00:12:05,950
Wouldn't looks and good
hair be in the same category?
296
00:12:05,952 --> 00:12:07,785
Oh, Bonnie.
297
00:12:09,456 --> 00:12:11,956
Jill, maybe you should
think this through
298
00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:14,542
a little bit more before
you start picking a donor.
299
00:12:14,715 --> 00:12:17,044
Why would I want to wait when I
know this is what I want to do?
300
00:12:17,046 --> 00:12:18,463
Cheese and crackers! Will you look at
301
00:12:18,465 --> 00:12:20,264
what they're getting for sperm?
302
00:12:20,266 --> 00:12:22,350
Tell me about it. In college,
303
00:12:22,352 --> 00:12:23,768
I was up to my eyeballs in the stuff,
304
00:12:23,770 --> 00:12:26,067
now I got to write a check for it.
305
00:12:28,775 --> 00:12:31,589
Hey, didn't you talk about
going to Europe next year?
306
00:12:31,614 --> 00:12:33,311
Gonna be mighty hard with a baby.
307
00:12:33,313 --> 00:12:34,812
Oh, it's just a trip.
308
00:12:34,814 --> 00:12:36,531
I figured Europe's been
there for 300 years,
309
00:12:36,533 --> 00:12:38,684
it'll be there a few more.
310
00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:41,035
I'd move "brains" to
the front of the list.
311
00:12:41,879 --> 00:12:45,123
I was kind of leaning towards
this guy with the blue eyes.
312
00:12:45,523 --> 00:12:48,891
How pretty would our daughter be?
313
00:12:49,107 --> 00:12:50,140
Lovely...
314
00:12:50,330 --> 00:12:52,918
in a master race kind of way.
315
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:55,383
What is this,
Build-a-Bear?
316
00:12:55,385 --> 00:12:56,667
I mean, how do you even know
317
00:12:56,669 --> 00:12:57,919
it's gonna be a girl?
318
00:12:57,921 --> 00:12:59,253
Oh, it's easy,
319
00:12:59,255 --> 00:13:00,972
they just spin the
goo up in this thingie
320
00:13:00,974 --> 00:13:02,173
and you get what you want.
321
00:13:04,511 --> 00:13:06,811
Have you considered the possibility
322
00:13:06,813 --> 00:13:09,764
that your alcoholism could
be passed down to this child?
323
00:13:09,766 --> 00:13:12,266
Oh, it won't be an issue.
My kid's not gonna drink
324
00:13:12,268 --> 00:13:15,153
and even if she does,
she'll go to the best rehabs.
325
00:13:16,272 --> 00:13:18,926
And we can go to meetings
together, like you two.
326
00:13:21,077 --> 00:13:22,957
Oh, honey, don't aim for us.
327
00:13:24,197 --> 00:13:27,248
To be honest, I really
am not sure that...
328
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:28,699
Oh, I almost forgot!
329
00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:30,501
The doctor told me that
I was gonna need someone
330
00:13:30,503 --> 00:13:32,753
to give me hormone shots and
go with me to my appointments.
331
00:13:32,755 --> 00:13:34,872
You know, someone to be
my partner in all this.
332
00:13:34,874 --> 00:13:36,207
And I can't think of anybody else
333
00:13:36,209 --> 00:13:37,959
I'd rather do this with than you,
334
00:13:37,961 --> 00:13:39,844
'cause, well, you're my best friend.
335
00:13:39,846 --> 00:13:41,168
Really?
336
00:13:42,048 --> 00:13:43,548
I'm your best friend?
337
00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:44,932
Of course you are.
338
00:13:44,934 --> 00:13:48,052
Wow, I don't know what to say.
339
00:13:48,301 --> 00:13:49,470
Thank you.
340
00:13:49,472 --> 00:13:51,055
So you'll do it?
341
00:13:51,057 --> 00:13:54,358
- I'd be honored.
- Come here!
342
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,560
What are you doing?
343
00:13:55,562 --> 00:13:57,778
No idea.
344
00:14:01,489 --> 00:14:04,368
Aw, they make cashmere onesies.
345
00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:05,903
"Cashmere"?
346
00:14:05,905 --> 00:14:08,122
You're gonna let your
baby spit up on cashmere?
347
00:14:08,241 --> 00:14:11,159
Well, I won't put her in
it when she's gonna spit up.
348
00:14:13,121 --> 00:14:15,879
Oh, okay, good plan.
349
00:14:16,416 --> 00:14:19,750
A crib in the shape
of Cinderella's carriage.
350
00:14:19,752 --> 00:14:21,002
What do you think?
351
00:14:21,614 --> 00:14:23,004
It kind of looks like a float
352
00:14:23,006 --> 00:14:25,590
in a very tiny gay pride parade.
353
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:29,223
That is going on the baby registry.
354
00:14:29,562 --> 00:14:31,145
Jill, it's $18,000!
355
00:14:31,147 --> 00:14:32,980
No pressure, I'll have a separate shower
356
00:14:32,982 --> 00:14:34,942
for my rich friends.
357
00:14:36,106 --> 00:14:38,319
Sweetie, you're not even pregnant yet,
358
00:14:38,321 --> 00:14:40,521
you won't need any of
this stuff for a while.
359
00:14:40,523 --> 00:14:41,939
And when the baby gets here,
360
00:14:41,941 --> 00:14:43,407
all it needs for the first six months
361
00:14:43,409 --> 00:14:45,159
are clean diapers and a boob.
362
00:14:45,161 --> 00:14:46,777
Oh, I am not breastfeeding.
363
00:14:46,779 --> 00:14:48,246
I googled some after pics,
364
00:14:48,248 --> 00:14:50,043
did not like what I saw.
365
00:14:50,981 --> 00:14:53,451
But breastfeeding is good for the baby.
366
00:14:53,453 --> 00:14:55,753
Yeah, so is having a hot mom.
367
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:01,459
Thanks again for doing this with me.
368
00:15:01,703 --> 00:15:03,536
You're welcome.
369
00:15:04,631 --> 00:15:07,265
Once I'm a mom, I know I'll be so happy.
370
00:15:08,101 --> 00:15:09,634
Jill Kendall.
371
00:15:09,981 --> 00:15:11,302
Okeydokey.
372
00:15:11,304 --> 00:15:14,356
Let's go see how many
eggs are in this basket.
373
00:15:14,774 --> 00:15:16,524
Jill, don't do this!
374
00:15:17,443 --> 00:15:18,726
Don't do what?
375
00:15:18,728 --> 00:15:20,194
Have a baby.
376
00:15:20,196 --> 00:15:21,646
It's not what you think it is.
377
00:15:21,648 --> 00:15:23,230
It's not playing dress-up
378
00:15:23,232 --> 00:15:24,823
and picnics at the beach.
379
00:15:24,848 --> 00:15:26,367
I mean, there are some picnics,
380
00:15:26,369 --> 00:15:28,235
but just packing up the car to get there
381
00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:30,288
can crush your soul.
382
00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:31,706
And you will forget wipes.
383
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:33,324
Trust me, you will forget them.
384
00:15:34,661 --> 00:15:36,327
Being a parent is hard.
385
00:15:36,329 --> 00:15:39,107
It's exhausting and you
are not cut out for it.
386
00:15:39,476 --> 00:15:41,499
Why are you saying this?
387
00:15:41,501 --> 00:15:43,668
You're supposed to be my best friend.
388
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:46,398
That's why I'm saying it, because I am.
389
00:15:46,556 --> 00:15:48,889
You're trying to fix what
happened with your mom
390
00:15:48,891 --> 00:15:51,008
by having a baby and
it's not gonna work.
391
00:15:53,210 --> 00:15:55,513
If having a child
solved all our problems,
392
00:15:55,515 --> 00:15:57,241
your mother wouldn't have...
393
00:15:59,346 --> 00:16:00,929
done what she did.
394
00:16:04,687 --> 00:16:07,074
I never want to talk to you again.
395
00:16:08,778 --> 00:16:11,138
Jill, I've been there.
396
00:16:11,163 --> 00:16:12,580
I know what I'm talking about.
397
00:16:12,582 --> 00:16:15,583
Just because you failed as
a mother doesn't mean I will!
398
00:16:31,492 --> 00:16:33,492
Give her time. I'm sure Jill will see
399
00:16:33,494 --> 00:16:35,490
you were coming from a good place.
400
00:16:35,515 --> 00:16:37,181
I hope so.
401
00:16:37,183 --> 00:16:38,993
I really don't want to
lose her as a friend.
402
00:16:39,726 --> 00:16:41,486
When I got pregnant with this one,
403
00:16:41,488 --> 00:16:43,688
I had a friend who didn't
think it was a good idea.
404
00:16:43,690 --> 00:16:45,857
I came this close to having an abortion.
405
00:16:45,859 --> 00:16:46,859
What?!
406
00:16:48,476 --> 00:16:49,715
I told you this.
407
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:50,766
Uh-uh.
408
00:16:50,768 --> 00:16:52,217
Would've remembered.
409
00:16:53,663 --> 00:16:56,055
Calm down, I didn't do it.
410
00:16:56,507 --> 00:16:57,856
Who?
411
00:16:57,858 --> 00:16:59,391
Who told you to get rid of me?
412
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,943
Well, you don't know her,
413
00:17:00,945 --> 00:17:02,861
because I never spoke to her again.
414
00:17:02,863 --> 00:17:05,788
That's my point, that might
happen between you and Jill.
415
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,233
Wait, so in one breath,
416
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,119
you just told me that
you almost aborted me
417
00:17:10,121 --> 00:17:12,204
and I may lose one of
my best friends forever.
418
00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:13,989
What kind of pep talk is that?
419
00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:16,575
Oh, my God, you get mad
at me when I pay attention,
420
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,877
you get mad at me when
I don't pay attention.
421
00:17:19,554 --> 00:17:22,055
Well, well, well...
422
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,752
Another private gathering.
423
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,254
Don't be silly, it's not private.
424
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,515
Yeah, we just forgot about you.
425
00:17:33,171 --> 00:17:34,393
Oh, okay then.
426
00:17:35,437 --> 00:17:36,762
So what's going on?
427
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:41,444
Synced and corrected by
Atrin021