1
00:00:01,055 --> 00:00:03,606
I thought we'd work in here 'cause, uh,

2
00:00:04,031 --> 00:00:06,546
well, it's the only room with a table.

3
00:00:07,726 --> 00:00:09,901
Huh. You don't have
a dedicated workspace?

4
00:00:10,234 --> 00:00:12,571
I don't have a dedicated bathroom.

5
00:00:13,094 --> 00:00:14,873
Can I get you something to drink?

6
00:00:14,875 --> 00:00:16,458
Uh, you have Coke?

7
00:00:16,828 --> 00:00:18,743
I have cola.

8
00:00:18,745 --> 00:00:19,995
You have Smartwater?

9
00:00:19,997 --> 00:00:21,851
I have sink water.

10
00:00:22,961 --> 00:00:24,578
I'll take the cola.

11
00:00:25,419 --> 00:00:28,136
It's kind of awkward when
the professor pairs you up

12
00:00:28,138 --> 00:00:31,006
- with someone you don't know.
- Totally.

13
00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:34,259
Well, at least neither of us
got "Throat Clearing Guy."

14
00:00:34,726 --> 00:00:37,062
Oh, I actually got Throat Clearing Guy

15
00:00:37,064 --> 00:00:38,563
on the last project.

16
00:00:38,565 --> 00:00:41,933
It did not go so... well.

17
00:00:43,297 --> 00:00:46,305
Anyway, I, uh, figured
we'd do this on my laptop.

18
00:00:47,371 --> 00:00:51,262
- Oh.
- I mean, unless you have N-voke.

19
00:00:51,612 --> 00:00:53,254
That depends.

20
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:54,910
What is it?

21
00:00:55,762 --> 00:00:57,371
Presentation software.

22
00:00:57,396 --> 00:01:00,512
Like PowerPoint, only not,
because it doesn't suck.

23
00:01:02,019 --> 00:01:04,777
I have pirated Word '97.

24
00:01:05,626 --> 00:01:08,426
And I used it to write up
the first seven precepts

25
00:01:08,428 --> 00:01:10,393
of conflict resolution
as it pertains to...

26
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:11,963
Yeah. Relax. I got this.

27
00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:14,549
Oh, really?

28
00:01:14,551 --> 00:01:15,846
And what do I got?

29
00:01:15,871 --> 00:01:17,237
I can go for some chips.

30
00:01:17,689 --> 00:01:19,283
Whoa.

31
00:01:19,308 --> 00:01:20,974
Not your waitress, Skippy.

32
00:01:22,401 --> 00:01:24,025
Cooper.

33
00:01:24,027 --> 00:01:25,844
I'm sticking with Skippy.

34
00:01:28,062 --> 00:01:29,731
Are we gonna have a problem here?

35
00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:33,000
Are we?

36
00:01:41,877 --> 00:01:43,765
Good call, Skippy.

37
00:01:46,746 --> 00:01:48,997
Oh, crap. My screen's frozen.

38
00:01:51,552 --> 00:01:54,222
Christy told me you were looking
for an apartment, and I thought,

39
00:01:54,224 --> 00:01:56,141
sure, you could drive all over Napa,

40
00:01:56,143 --> 00:02:00,929
or... I could save you
the hassle and show you

41
00:02:00,931 --> 00:02:03,044
this little slice of paradise.

42
00:02:04,818 --> 00:02:06,818
What's going on with the ceiling here?

43
00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:09,020
That's what you call an
architectural element.

44
00:02:09,022 --> 00:02:10,802
- Ooh, fancy.
- Mm.

45
00:02:10,827 --> 00:02:12,157
What's this all about?

46
00:02:12,159 --> 00:02:14,343
That's drainage from
your neighbor's toilet.

47
00:02:14,528 --> 00:02:17,194
Really? Don't worry. Little
guy. Doesn't eat much.

48
00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:22,310
So what do you think? You in?

49
00:02:22,335 --> 00:02:25,030
'Cause I got a polygamist
looking for a sister house.

50
00:02:26,612 --> 00:02:29,257
Well, the sooner I have my own place,
the sooner I can get Emily back.

51
00:02:29,259 --> 00:02:31,426
I just don't have first
and last month's rent.

52
00:02:31,428 --> 00:02:33,405
Hmm, predicament.

53
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:36,182
What to do, what to do...

54
00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:38,633
Here's an idea.

55
00:02:39,143 --> 00:02:41,673
You pay me in cash, I'll
overlook the deposit,

56
00:02:41,698 --> 00:02:44,139
and even throw in some
furniture I got in the basement.

57
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,596
Sounds great.

58
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:50,395
- Maybe a fresh coat of paint?
- Whoa.

59
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,480
Stand down, Melania.

60
00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:04,345
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

61
00:03:09,329 --> 00:03:10,912
Hang on. I'll get you a clean fork.

62
00:03:12,118 --> 00:03:14,524
Just gonna walk in a circle
and bring you the same one.

63
00:03:15,853 --> 00:03:18,320
I still can't believe you
moved her into your building.

64
00:03:18,322 --> 00:03:22,191
Oh, come on, Jill. You've 
been a great foster mother,

65
00:03:22,193 --> 00:03:24,193
but Emily belongs with Natasha.

66
00:03:24,195 --> 00:03:27,149
I agree. I just think there's
a double standard afoot.

67
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,290
I mean, before I could foster Emily,

68
00:03:29,315 --> 00:03:31,365
I had to be questioned, fingerprinted

69
00:03:31,390 --> 00:03:33,079
and baby-proof my whole house.

70
00:03:33,104 --> 00:03:35,391
I still can't get into my pool.

71
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,377
Slap her in that dump
with her birth mother,

72
00:03:38,402 --> 00:03:39,783
and everything's hunky-dory.

73
00:03:39,913 --> 00:03:41,629
That dump is where we live.

74
00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:43,521
I know. I've been there.

75
00:03:44,917 --> 00:03:46,166
She's just out of rehab.

76
00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:47,455
How can she afford her own place?

77
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,650
She can't. She's paying
me under the table.

78
00:03:49,818 --> 00:03:52,318
What? You didn't tell me that.

79
00:03:52,343 --> 00:03:54,414
That's what "under the table" means.

80
00:03:54,825 --> 00:03:57,159
What are they teaching
you at that college?

81
00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:03,747
You realize that if you get caught,

82
00:04:03,773 --> 00:04:05,539
we're gonna be looking
for a new apartment, too.

83
00:04:05,564 --> 00:04:07,289
Well, Little Black Cloud,

84
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:10,495
the only way I'd get caught
is if someone ratted me out.

85
00:04:10,497 --> 00:04:14,215
Well, then, somebody better give
me a little taste of the action.

86
00:04:14,217 --> 00:04:17,135
Oh, you want to wet your beak, do you?

87
00:04:17,137 --> 00:04:18,803
Why are they talking like that?

88
00:04:18,805 --> 00:04:21,249
Never ask me about my business, Wendy.

89
00:04:26,656 --> 00:04:29,107
Tell you what I'm gonna do.

90
00:04:46,783 --> 00:04:48,893
Pleasure doing business with you.

91
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:54,180
So, I was thinking, I should
do the oral presentation,

92
00:04:54,205 --> 00:04:55,838
and you should manage the visuals.

93
00:04:55,975 --> 00:04:57,508
And wear something pretty.

94
00:04:59,555 --> 00:05:02,096
Right, something low-cut
so we can get a good grade.

95
00:05:02,098 --> 00:05:03,297
Exactly.

96
00:05:03,829 --> 00:05:06,934
And you know what you can wear?
My foot in your ass.

97
00:05:08,165 --> 00:05:11,961
Hey, I'm just trying to
play to our strengths.

98
00:05:11,986 --> 00:05:14,993
You do what you do, and I'm super
comfortable speaking in public.

99
00:05:15,018 --> 00:05:16,860
I was in two high school plays,

100
00:05:16,885 --> 00:05:18,391
and I have my own YouTube channel.

101
00:05:18,724 --> 00:05:21,063
Slow your roll, Miss Saigon.

102
00:05:22,428 --> 00:05:24,010
Several times a week, I stand

103
00:05:24,035 --> 00:05:26,594
in front of a room full
of drunks and drug addicts

104
00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,298
and share my most painful experiences.

105
00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:31,548
And P.S., my friend's cat
has her own YouTube channel.

106
00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:36,292
Tell you what. How about
we both do the presentation,

107
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,177
and I wear something pretty?

108
00:05:38,179 --> 00:05:39,545
Thank you.

109
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,598
And show a little cleavage.
We do want the "A""

110
00:05:43,768 --> 00:05:45,934
Hey, I'm a little hungry.

111
00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:48,126
You want to get some wings or something?

112
00:05:49,013 --> 00:05:50,473
With you?

113
00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:52,725
Don't worry. We'll split the bill.

114
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:57,540
Dude, you're kind of a
sexist, hipster douche.

115
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,520
Wings are on you.

116
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,309
You sure nobody's gonna miss this stuff?

117
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:09,497
Nah, this was all left behind
by tenants who moved out.

118
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,786
Couple of 'em feet first.

119
00:06:13,466 --> 00:06:14,830
Really?

120
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,114
Choked on a chicken bone,

121
00:06:18,024 --> 00:06:19,858
pulmonary embolism.

122
00:06:20,559 --> 00:06:22,528
That guy moved to Fresno,

123
00:06:23,246 --> 00:06:24,912
which is the same thing as dying.

124
00:06:24,944 --> 00:06:26,591
Come on, give me a hand.

125
00:06:26,849 --> 00:06:28,684
I don't know how to thank you, Bonnie.

126
00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:30,755
You just make sure I get
those Benjamins every month.

127
00:06:30,919 --> 00:06:33,075
Oh, and do not give them to Christy.

128
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,826
She lives in moral twilight.

129
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:39,239
Oh, my God, that's Emily.
My pits are drippin'.

130
00:06:39,474 --> 00:06:41,817
Relax. You have a lovely apartment

131
00:06:41,842 --> 00:06:43,317
with a permanent Christmas tree

132
00:06:43,342 --> 00:06:45,356
and a picture of a seafaring ancestor.

133
00:06:47,749 --> 00:06:49,115
Hey, honey.

134
00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:51,640
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh.

135
00:06:52,770 --> 00:06:54,161
Wow!

136
00:06:55,688 --> 00:06:58,341
When you said "back of the
building," you weren't kidding.

137
00:06:59,135 --> 00:07:01,335
- Hey, Jill. 
- Hey.

138
00:07:01,477 --> 00:07:03,177
So, what do you think?

139
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,356
I like it.

140
00:07:04,381 --> 00:07:06,497
- You do?
- You do?

141
00:07:07,328 --> 00:07:08,861
Come on, I'll show you your room.

142
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:10,413
I got you a Harry Styles pillow

143
00:07:10,438 --> 00:07:11,771
so you can practice your kissing.

144
00:07:11,843 --> 00:07:13,911
Unless you want a Katy Perry pillow.

145
00:07:13,936 --> 00:07:16,044
Whatever you're into,
I'm cool with that.

146
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,261
I like green.

147
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,058
Bonnie, where are we?

148
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:26,583
What are you talking about?

149
00:07:26,608 --> 00:07:28,027
I mean, I was braced for your apartment,

150
00:07:28,052 --> 00:07:29,128
but this looks like a place

151
00:07:29,153 --> 00:07:30,855
where they take Turkish
people for questioning.

152
00:07:32,073 --> 00:07:34,114
Hey, it's a beginning, Jill.

153
00:07:34,139 --> 00:07:35,521
Back off.

154
00:07:35,546 --> 00:07:36,948
I'm sorry.

155
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,815
I'm just worried about Emily.

156
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,182
She's a teenager.

157
00:07:41,207 --> 00:07:43,354
All she cares about is a
place to charge her phone.

158
00:07:43,668 --> 00:07:46,669
And that concludes the grand tour.

159
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:48,495
Cool.

160
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,220
Is there a place I can charge my phone?

161
00:07:51,752 --> 00:07:54,303
Right here by the Christmas pole.

162
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:57,494
Let me do it. I got a
little shock here earlier.

163
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,350
Okay, well, I guess it's
time for me to be on my way.

164
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,584
Thanks for everything, Jill.

165
00:08:06,577 --> 00:08:08,256
I'm really gonna miss you.

166
00:08:08,663 --> 00:08:10,662
Ow!

167
00:08:10,687 --> 00:08:12,037
I'm all right.

168
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,772
I'm gonna miss you, too.

169
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:17,620
But we'll still see each other.

170
00:08:24,942 --> 00:08:26,892
Okay, Jill. Time to go.

171
00:08:27,817 --> 00:08:30,090
- Okeydokey.
- Mm-hmm.

172
00:08:30,115 --> 00:08:31,715
Here I go.

173
00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:49,559
Okay, feelings, I hear ya.

174
00:08:54,311 --> 00:08:57,106
Sprite for you, Irish Sprite for me.

175
00:08:57,792 --> 00:08:59,130
Cheers.

176
00:09:00,301 --> 00:09:04,755
Mm. So you have no
problem being in a bar?

177
00:09:05,136 --> 00:09:06,502
No, it's fun.

178
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,159
- Actually, I play this little game.
- Mm.

179
00:09:08,184 --> 00:09:10,089
I look around the room
and try to figure out

180
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,137
who I'm gonna be seeing
in a meeting down the road.

181
00:09:12,162 --> 00:09:14,387
Oh, really? Who do you like?

182
00:09:15,208 --> 00:09:17,730
I got my eye on the guy who
finished his date's drink

183
00:09:17,732 --> 00:09:19,265
when she went to the bathroom.

184
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,600
Well, maybe she has the problem,

185
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,145
and he's trying to save her.

186
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,106
Nope. He just threw up in his hand.

187
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,607
Nah.

188
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,992
Hmm. Ah.

189
00:09:29,994 --> 00:09:31,497
Oh, God.

190
00:09:31,522 --> 00:09:33,939
Please don't tell me they're
setting up for karaoke.

191
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,414
No, then I'd be throwing up in my hand.

192
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,117
It's trivia night.

193
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,692
Oh, I am awesome at trivia.

194
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:41,646
I was raised by a television.

195
00:09:41,671 --> 00:09:43,590
And I had no friends except books!

196
00:09:44,255 --> 00:09:46,068
We are gonna crush this!

197
00:09:49,430 --> 00:09:51,521
Your home theater, ma'am.

198
00:09:52,764 --> 00:09:55,592
Courtesy of the late Mrs. Farraday.

199
00:09:56,283 --> 00:09:58,529
Oh, my God, you're a lifesaver.

200
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,833
Well... if I were a lifesaver,

201
00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:03,318
I would have known how
to Heimlich Mrs. Farraday.

202
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,974
I thought this might lure
Emily out of her room.

203
00:10:06,999 --> 00:10:08,699
Ow!

204
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:12,466
I'm okay. God, someone should fix that.

205
00:10:12,491 --> 00:10:14,525
Why would I say that out loud?

206
00:10:14,943 --> 00:10:16,638
She's been in there since dinner.

207
00:10:16,663 --> 00:10:19,330
Well... I hope Emily loves Falcon Crest

208
00:10:19,355 --> 00:10:21,238
as much as Christy did.

209
00:10:21,473 --> 00:10:24,451
- Good luck.
- Oh, no. Please stay.

210
00:10:24,732 --> 00:10:27,916
This is not going well.
She's barely talking to me.

211
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:29,718
Well, give it time. When I got sober

212
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,756
and reconnected with Christy,
there were long stretches

213
00:10:31,781 --> 00:10:33,240
of cold, angry silence.

214
00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:34,631
What finally broke the ice?

215
00:10:34,656 --> 00:10:36,489
She punched me in the back of the head.

216
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,037
Yeah.

217
00:10:38,062 --> 00:10:40,115
We laugh about it now.

218
00:10:41,476 --> 00:10:43,935
Can you please just...
just stay till bedtime?

219
00:10:45,891 --> 00:10:47,107
20 minutes.

220
00:10:47,321 --> 00:10:50,572
I'm a busy woman.
I am not wasting my night here.

221
00:10:50,574 --> 00:10:53,076
Ooh, The A-Team. You
got me for an hour.

222
00:10:53,874 --> 00:10:55,657
Emily! Television!

223
00:10:57,164 --> 00:10:59,164
We'll have the rest of your weather

224
00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:00,699
and all the top news at 11:00.

225
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:03,279
Next up, The A-Team.

226
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,826
Which Hogwarts professor was
the head of Gryffindor House?

227
00:11:08,851 --> 00:11:10,857
Who is Professor Minerva McGonagall!

228
00:11:12,943 --> 00:11:15,431
Okay, again, we're not
playing Jeopardy!, but yes,

229
00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:17,349
point for Team Demi/Ashton!

230
00:11:17,351 --> 00:11:19,218
Oh!

231
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,861
In your face, suckahs!

232
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:24,369
Okay. Name all five members

233
00:11:24,394 --> 00:11:25,944
of New Kids on the Block.

234
00:11:25,969 --> 00:11:27,502
Donnie, Danny, Jordan, Joey, Jon.

235
00:11:27,527 --> 00:11:29,560
- Right again! 
- Ha!

236
00:11:29,585 --> 00:11:31,635
I still love you, Donnie!

237
00:11:33,015 --> 00:11:34,798
Normally, this is where
I add up the scores,

238
00:11:34,823 --> 00:11:36,907
but I think we can all
agree that the glory

239
00:11:36,932 --> 00:11:40,049
and the free bloomin' onion
go to Team Demi/Ashton!

240
00:11:42,543 --> 00:11:44,493
We won an onion! We won an onion!

241
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:47,252
Damn, girl, you own the '90s!

242
00:11:47,277 --> 00:11:50,392
Oh! That's 'cause I'm the only
one here who wasn't born in them.

243
00:11:50,548 --> 00:11:53,056
- You can pick up your prize at the bar.
- Ooh-ooh. Let me.

244
00:11:53,081 --> 00:11:54,666
I've never won an appetizer before.

245
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,611
Well, raise it high
like the Stanley Cup.

246
00:11:56,644 --> 00:11:58,736
- What's that?
- Just go.

247
00:12:00,221 --> 00:12:01,220
Thank you.

248
00:12:01,245 --> 00:12:03,329
I never won an appetizer before.

249
00:12:03,525 --> 00:12:06,765
- You guys killed it.
- Ah. That's 'cause I watch a lot of TV

250
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,434
and he didn't have any friends.

251
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,150
You're such a cute couple.

252
00:12:10,404 --> 00:12:12,104
Oh. We're not a couple.

253
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,447
He's just a guy I'm doing
a school project with.

254
00:12:14,477 --> 00:12:15,860
I'm actually 40.

255
00:12:16,384 --> 00:12:17,664
No way.

256
00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:19,843
Way.

257
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,196
Thank you.

258
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,698
Hey, uh, if you're interested,

259
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,700
give me a minute, and I'll set you up.

260
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,516
Awesome.

261
00:12:26,541 --> 00:12:28,457
I won you.

262
00:12:29,597 --> 00:12:31,097
Ta-da!

263
00:12:31,342 --> 00:12:32,875
And, as a bonus,

264
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,294
I was just talking to
this girl over there...

265
00:12:36,976 --> 00:12:38,476
You're mean!

266
00:12:39,570 --> 00:12:41,236
I'm so sorry.

267
00:12:45,188 --> 00:12:47,898
We ended up making out in
his car for about an hour.

268
00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:50,672
Look at me... I have
millennial scruff-burn.

269
00:12:51,978 --> 00:12:53,677
Oh, good. I thought you just did

270
00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:56,336
that thing kids do where they
lick their mouth too much.

271
00:12:59,727 --> 00:13:01,360
How old is this fella?

272
00:13:01,487 --> 00:13:03,103
Old enough to know what he's doing

273
00:13:03,105 --> 00:13:05,739
and young enough to be just
the right side of wrong.

274
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,691
Are you gonna see him again?

275
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:10,361
Oh, yeah.

276
00:13:10,363 --> 00:13:12,529
We're going out tonight.

277
00:13:13,414 --> 00:13:14,914
Gymboree or Build-A-Bear?

278
00:13:16,148 --> 00:13:19,266
- I think you're jealous.
- I pity the fool who's jealous!

279
00:13:21,029 --> 00:13:23,696
Mr. T. What, do you live in a cave?

280
00:13:24,677 --> 00:13:26,427
The weird thing is,
when I first met him,

281
00:13:26,429 --> 00:13:27,761
I thought he was a total dick.

282
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:30,297
Oh, Christy, they all
start out as total dicks.

283
00:13:30,299 --> 00:13:31,799
And they end as total dicks,

284
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:33,434
but there's that sweet
spot in the middle.

285
00:13:33,436 --> 00:13:36,303
That's where I am... Between two dicks.

286
00:13:38,107 --> 00:13:39,940
That's where I need to be.

287
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,867
Excuse me, young lady.

288
00:13:49,869 --> 00:13:52,013
Where do you think you're
headed on a school night?

289
00:13:53,144 --> 00:13:54,488
Ha-ha.

290
00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:57,241
Oh, come on, I was hammered
the whole time you were dating

291
00:13:57,243 --> 00:13:59,243
in high school... Let
me have this moment.

292
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:03,447
Okay, Mommy, I'll play along.

293
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,849
Come. Sit.

294
00:14:09,771 --> 00:14:12,533
Now, I know you really like this boy,

295
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:13,924
but remember,

296
00:14:13,926 --> 00:14:15,843
you don't have to do things

297
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,011
just because he wants to.

298
00:14:19,172 --> 00:14:21,432
But what if I want him to like me?

299
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,936
He should like you for who you are.

300
00:14:26,077 --> 00:14:28,600
But what if I want
him to really like me?

301
00:14:29,241 --> 00:14:32,030
Then you got to bang his brains out.

302
00:14:33,577 --> 00:14:35,006
We always go one step
too far, don't we?

303
00:14:35,031 --> 00:14:37,224
Yeah. We sure do, kitten.

304
00:14:37,249 --> 00:14:38,332
Have fun.

305
00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:39,450
Bye.

306
00:14:41,655 --> 00:14:43,679
Oh. They grow up so fast.

307
00:14:51,702 --> 00:14:52,713
Hey.

308
00:14:52,715 --> 00:14:55,099
Bonnie, I'm a total failure as a mom.

309
00:14:55,101 --> 00:14:57,054
So am I. Big deal.

310
00:14:57,636 --> 00:14:59,136
I mean it. I can't do it.

311
00:14:59,138 --> 00:15:01,438
- All right, what happened?
- Well, I bought a bunch of food,

312
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,973
and then I made this nice dinner,

313
00:15:02,975 --> 00:15:05,109
and then Emily texts me
she's spending the night

314
00:15:05,111 --> 00:15:06,693
over at someone named Ashley's house.

315
00:15:06,901 --> 00:15:09,267
Kids do that. In fact,
my daughter's having

316
00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:11,648
a sleepover tonight with her
little school friend Cooper.

317
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,519
But it's our second night together,
and she didn't want to come home.

318
00:15:16,102 --> 00:15:19,135
And can you blame her? I wouldn't
want to come home to me, either.

319
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,659
God, I want a drink.

320
00:15:22,661 --> 00:15:25,487
Okay. Okay.
I got this.

321
00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:28,653
Have a seat.

322
00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:30,384
Wow, you sat fast.

323
00:15:31,487 --> 00:15:34,805
Uh... I thought that was gonna
buy me a little more time.

324
00:15:34,807 --> 00:15:36,840
Oh. I know.

325
00:15:36,842 --> 00:15:39,009
Let's think through the drink.

326
00:15:39,011 --> 00:15:41,537
- What does that mean?
- Well, let's say you have that drink.

327
00:15:41,562 --> 00:15:43,480
We both know that means
you're gonna have ten more.

328
00:15:43,482 --> 00:15:44,731
At least.

329
00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:46,016
You lose your sobriety,

330
00:15:46,210 --> 00:15:47,518
you lose your job,

331
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,686
I am definitely kicking
you out of that apartment,

332
00:15:49,688 --> 00:15:51,188
and most important, you lose Emily.

333
00:15:52,749 --> 00:15:54,858
So you try to get your act together,

334
00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:56,527
but it's harder than you thought,

335
00:15:56,529 --> 00:15:58,529
and before you know it, you've
blown through three years,

336
00:15:58,531 --> 00:16:00,364
and you haven't been
there for your kid at all,

337
00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:02,820
and by that point, she probably
doesn't even care anymore.

338
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:05,869
So what'll it be?

339
00:16:05,871 --> 00:16:07,204
Gin, vodka,

340
00:16:07,206 --> 00:16:09,256
or one of those candy-ass micro-brews

341
00:16:09,258 --> 00:16:11,258
I never got a chance to try?

342
00:16:12,022 --> 00:16:14,100
- Okay, I got it.
- Do you?

343
00:16:14,695 --> 00:16:17,381
- I'm just scared.
- Well, you should be scared.

344
00:16:17,383 --> 00:16:19,016
You've got a lot riding on this.

345
00:16:19,018 --> 00:16:20,934
I got Christy back when she was 34,

346
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:23,854
and I spend every single
day trying to make up for it.

347
00:16:23,856 --> 00:16:26,857
It's a lot of work... Trust
me, it's actually easier

348
00:16:26,859 --> 00:16:28,068
to just not drink.

349
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,747
Thank you. That really helps.

350
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,234
Thank God.

351
00:16:37,943 --> 00:16:40,037
It's still early... How
about we catch a meeting?

352
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,130
I would like that.

353
00:16:44,609 --> 00:16:46,708
Christy's really lucky to have you.

354
00:16:47,185 --> 00:16:49,396
Natasha, let's get something straight.

355
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,499
Everybody's lucky to have me.

356
00:17:07,134 --> 00:17:08,815
Morning.

357
00:17:08,817 --> 00:17:10,601
Hi.

358
00:17:11,491 --> 00:17:14,406
So... you think everyone in class

359
00:17:14,431 --> 00:17:16,083
will know we're sleeping together?

360
00:17:16,798 --> 00:17:18,775
They will when I tell them.

361
00:17:20,076 --> 00:17:21,191
Hey, Coop.

362
00:17:21,216 --> 00:17:22,946
I'm doing a load of
laundry... got anything?

363
00:17:22,948 --> 00:17:24,615
Mom, seriously?

364
00:17:24,617 --> 00:17:25,943
Mom?

365
00:17:27,086 --> 00:17:29,201
Sorry. Didn't know you had company.

366
00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:31,538
I put the sock on the door.

367
00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:33,771
Oh, it fell off... I
thought it was laundry.

368
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,426
Hi. I'm Lorraine.

369
00:17:36,685 --> 00:17:38,295
Christy.

370
00:17:38,593 --> 00:17:41,761
I'd stand up, but my
underwear's on the lamp.

371
00:17:43,352 --> 00:17:46,131
Well, I am doing a load...
Happy to toss it in.

372
00:17:48,131 --> 00:17:49,309
That's okay.

373
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:50,915
Y-You know, I should get going.

374
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:54,107
You sure? Mom makes great pancakes.

375
00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:01,591
I do like pancakes.

376
00:18:03,021 --> 00:18:04,387
Can you believe it?

377
00:18:04,412 --> 00:18:06,566
She made me breakfast
and did my laundry.

378
00:18:06,591 --> 00:18:08,458
First time in my life
I came home from a date

379
00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:10,410
and my clothes were
cleaner than when I left.

380
00:18:10,865 --> 00:18:12,496
So, how was the sex?

381
00:18:12,974 --> 00:18:14,164
It's not bad.

382
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:16,049
But these pancakes...

383
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:19,169
I'm telling you, she puts
a little vanilla in it, oh...

384
00:18:19,171 --> 00:18:21,054
God, I really felt loved.

385
00:18:21,676 --> 00:18:23,173
Okay, I get it.

386
00:18:23,175 --> 00:18:24,558
I wasn't there for you.

387
00:18:25,121 --> 00:18:26,677
Oh, that wasn't even a dig.

388
00:18:26,819 --> 00:18:28,535
But good.

389
00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:31,598
Okay, so, there's two Ashleys.

390
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,745
There's nerdy Ashley... She's a doll.

391
00:18:33,770 --> 00:18:36,687
Tall Ashley doesn't believe in bras,
and she flirts with all the dads.

392
00:18:36,689 --> 00:18:37,854
No sleepovers with her.

393
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,272
Got it.

394
00:18:39,274 --> 00:18:41,784
The password for Emily's phone is 4535.

395
00:18:41,809 --> 00:18:44,611
But heads up, she will text
some hurtful things about you.

396
00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:49,082
I don't know what made me a "foster
monster," but it still stings.

397
00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,617
I just wish there was someone

398
00:18:50,619 --> 00:18:52,449
who could tell me I was doing it right.

399
00:18:53,205 --> 00:18:54,504
Well...

400
00:18:54,887 --> 00:18:56,707
for what it's worth, Emily texted me

401
00:18:56,709 --> 00:18:59,259
how happy she is to be back with you.

402
00:19:01,216 --> 00:19:03,380
Oh, my God, I don't believe it.

403
00:19:03,382 --> 00:19:06,133
Hmm. Look, if you have
any problems with her,

404
00:19:06,135 --> 00:19:07,768
don't hesitate to call me.

405
00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:09,436
We can double-team her.

406
00:19:09,602 --> 00:19:11,385
Good cop, hot cop.

407
00:19:12,197 --> 00:19:13,780
Thank you.

408
00:19:15,224 --> 00:19:19,567
Aw. Somebody else doesn't
believe in bras, either.

409
00:19:27,369 --> 00:19:31,521
Wow. I've never celebrated
getting an "A" like that.

410
00:19:31,823 --> 00:19:33,873
If I had this kind of
motivation in high school,

411
00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:35,992
I wouldn't have dropped out.

412
00:19:38,513 --> 00:19:40,307
You done with the
sheets? I'm doing whites.

413
00:19:40,332 --> 00:19:41,910
Mom! Are you kidding me?

414
00:19:41,935 --> 00:19:44,018
You must be Cooper. I'm Mrs. Plunkett.

415
00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:45,044
Hi.

416
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,887
Is that your Ford Fusion out front?
I hear they get good mileage.

417
00:19:47,912 --> 00:19:49,078
Not bad.

418
00:19:49,192 --> 00:19:51,192
Okay, now you've seen him. Go.

419
00:19:51,194 --> 00:19:52,630
Yeah, yeah, I'm going.

420
00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:54,153
Hey, Mom?

421
00:19:54,865 --> 00:19:56,448
Mind making us pancakes?

422
00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:58,783
Pancakes? I'm not even
really doing laundry.

423
00:19:58,785 --> 00:20:02,988
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