1
00:00:00,016 --> 00:00:01,585
Previously on
"Mom"...
2
00:00:01,773 --> 00:00:03,002
Santa Cruz is only
3
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:04,546
a three hour
and 12 minute drive.
4
00:00:04,614 --> 00:00:07,484
Do you think we should try
the long-distance thing?
5
00:00:07,568 --> 00:00:09,003
I'm game.
6
00:00:09,071 --> 00:00:11,452
Don't I know you from that time
we slept together?
7
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,148
It's kind of a bad time.
I-I really got to study.
8
00:00:17,277 --> 00:00:19,835
This isn't just
hooking up anymore.
9
00:00:19,916 --> 00:00:24,749
Cooper, look... I just don't
have the same feelings for you.
10
00:00:24,823 --> 00:00:26,431
I just don't get it, Christy.
11
00:00:26,499 --> 00:00:28,773
I mean, it would be one thing
if there was another guy.
12
00:00:28,841 --> 00:00:30,187
Oh! There is.
13
00:00:30,353 --> 00:00:32,255
There's totally another guy.
14
00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:37,160
I guess I want to be
with the other guy.
15
00:00:37,228 --> 00:00:40,339
Wow, Christy's driving down
to Santa Cruz to see Patrick.
16
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,977
♪ I'm so excited ♪
17
00:00:43,045 --> 00:00:46,003
♪ And I just can't hide it ♪
18
00:00:46,308 --> 00:00:50,089
♪ I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know I want you ♪
19
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,050
♪ I want you. ♪
20
00:00:53,198 --> 00:00:54,532
Come on, Bonnie!
21
00:00:54,608 --> 00:00:56,677
This wedding starts at 3:00.
22
00:00:56,745 --> 00:00:58,964
- You ready?
- Unfortunately,
23
00:00:59,032 --> 00:01:00,829
yes.
24
00:01:01,946 --> 00:01:03,227
Wow. You look...
25
00:01:03,295 --> 00:01:06,088
I know.
"Ho, ho, ho, Green Giant."
26
00:01:07,430 --> 00:01:08,883
How'd you get roped into this?
27
00:01:08,951 --> 00:01:10,531
I made the mistake
of being nice.
28
00:01:10,599 --> 00:01:13,048
Judy's in our meeting.
One time I told her to hang in there.
29
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,899
Next thing I know,
I'm her emergency contact
30
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:16,477
and a bridesmaid.
31
00:01:17,071 --> 00:01:19,742
Wait a minute. I put on a tie
for a woman you barely know?
32
00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:21,482
You want to trade?
33
00:01:22,719 --> 00:01:24,069
How did Christy get out of this?
34
00:01:24,137 --> 00:01:25,155
Judy hates her.
35
00:01:25,223 --> 00:01:26,494
They shared the coffee
commitment once,
36
00:01:26,561 --> 00:01:28,133
and it almost
led to a fistfight.
37
00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:30,675
Stupid Marjorie broke it up.
38
00:01:31,735 --> 00:01:33,430
Have you seen my pearl earrings?
39
00:01:33,498 --> 00:01:36,180
I've never noticed earrings
in my entire life.
40
00:01:37,495 --> 00:01:39,078
Except for the guy
at my Starbucks.
41
00:01:39,146 --> 00:01:41,453
He's got, like, a piece
of driftwood in there.
42
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:46,777
Hey, Mom.
43
00:01:46,893 --> 00:01:48,930
Hi. Do you know
where my pearl earrings are?
44
00:01:49,159 --> 00:01:50,297
No idea.
45
00:01:50,365 --> 00:01:51,860
And again, they're not pearls.
46
00:01:51,954 --> 00:01:54,302
They're just
white plastic beads.
47
00:01:55,124 --> 00:01:57,561
Yeah, well, now I have no
earrings to wear to the wedding.
48
00:01:57,629 --> 00:01:59,842
I've seen that dress.
You don't need earrings.
49
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:02,427
You need a rim of salt
around your head.
50
00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:05,257
How's it going with Patrick?
51
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,413
It's not. I've been stuck
in traffic for hours.
52
00:02:08,481 --> 00:02:10,647
I'm close to peeing
in my Big Gulp.
53
00:02:11,311 --> 00:02:13,725
If you do, make sure
you dump it out the window.
54
00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:15,811
I had a bad experience once.
55
00:02:18,255 --> 00:02:21,264
After all this, I just hope
he's home when I get there.
56
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:22,764
You didn't call first?
57
00:02:22,832 --> 00:02:25,428
No! You don't call ahead
58
00:02:25,496 --> 00:02:27,678
when you're about to make
a big romantic gesture.
59
00:02:27,746 --> 00:02:30,186
Have you never seen
a Sandra Bullock movie?
60
00:02:30,423 --> 00:02:32,548
Not willingly, no.
61
00:02:33,539 --> 00:02:37,588
You don't call before you run to
the airport to stop the plane,
62
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,710
or bang on the church window,
63
00:02:39,953 --> 00:02:43,336
or go back in time
to make sure your parents kiss.
64
00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:45,633
You just do it.
65
00:02:47,719 --> 00:02:50,078
Mom? Did I lose you?
66
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,555
Damn it.
67
00:02:51,863 --> 00:02:53,914
If you're there,
I can't hear you.
68
00:02:53,989 --> 00:02:55,203
Mom?
69
00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:57,536
I'm pretending
I can't hear her.
70
00:02:57,605 --> 00:02:58,937
It drives her crazy.
71
00:03:00,578 --> 00:03:01,883
Mom?
72
00:03:02,186 --> 00:03:03,383
Mom!
73
00:03:03,729 --> 00:03:04,986
Mom?!
74
00:03:05,898 --> 00:03:07,266
Mom?!
75
00:03:16,328 --> 00:03:18,562
Oh, my God, he isn't here?
76
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,883
Oh, my God,
what have I done?
77
00:03:32,241 --> 00:03:34,514
Oh, Lucy. Lucy girl.
78
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:36,900
Christy?
79
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,109
Hi.
80
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:39,178
Hi.
81
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,350
Uh... what are you doing?
82
00:03:41,418 --> 00:03:43,843
Making a big romantic gesture.
83
00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,335
On my roses?
84
00:03:48,483 --> 00:03:50,108
Patrick, I want to be with you.
85
00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:51,850
Well, I want
to be with you, too.
86
00:03:51,918 --> 00:03:53,155
Great.
I'll tell you what.
87
00:03:53,223 --> 00:03:54,765
Um, when you're done,
88
00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,481
come on inside.
We'll have a little snack,
89
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,999
and we'll erase
the security video together.
90
00:04:02,457 --> 00:04:03,960
I don't think your dog likes me.
91
00:04:04,028 --> 00:04:05,756
Well, you are on her spot.
92
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,881
Come on, Lucy.
93
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,131
♪♪
94
00:04:17,463 --> 00:04:22,494
*MOM*
Season 05 Episode 11
Title: "Sex Fog and
a Mild-to-Moderate Panic Attack"
95
00:04:24,273 --> 00:04:26,271
Have you looked
at this schedule?
96
00:04:26,482 --> 00:04:28,964
The service is
an hour and a half.
97
00:04:29,255 --> 00:04:32,341
It's a full Mass with Communion,
a "Blessing of the People."
98
00:04:32,412 --> 00:04:33,872
What the hell is that?
99
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:37,130
It's when I whisper "Hail,
Satan" under my breath.
100
00:04:37,498 --> 00:04:38,857
This is gonna be torture.
101
00:04:38,966 --> 00:04:40,994
Oh, relax. We'll just
make out in the back row.
102
00:04:41,123 --> 00:04:42,911
Sweetheart,
you're in the ceremony.
103
00:04:43,162 --> 00:04:44,685
Didn't you go to the rehearsal?
104
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:47,576
Rehearsal?
I'm not hosting SNL.
105
00:04:48,248 --> 00:04:50,738
Hey, when we finally do this,
I say we knock it out
106
00:04:50,813 --> 00:04:52,177
at City Hall, grab some Chinese,
107
00:04:52,302 --> 00:04:53,974
and we're on a plane to Hawaii
by sundown.
108
00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:56,044
See, that is why
I am marrying you.
109
00:04:58,075 --> 00:04:59,701
Some day.
110
00:05:00,896 --> 00:05:02,826
Aw, geez, after the ceremony,
111
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,037
there's a 45-minute drive
to the reception?
112
00:05:05,201 --> 00:05:07,007
This better be an open bar.
113
00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:09,032
Yeah, about that...
114
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,111
Hmm, it's a dry wedding.
115
00:05:11,497 --> 00:05:14,090
No alcohol?
Why didn't you tell me?
116
00:05:14,158 --> 00:05:15,575
Same reason
you don't tell a baby
117
00:05:15,643 --> 00:05:17,364
he's about to be circumcised.
118
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:31,845
Does she always do that?
119
00:05:32,537 --> 00:05:33,972
Uh, well,
it's been a long time
120
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,813
since she's seen me
kissing anyone but her.
121
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:42,806
I have been waiting
so long to do this with you.
122
00:05:43,063 --> 00:05:44,645
And by "this,"
I mean...
123
00:05:44,722 --> 00:05:46,036
more than this.
124
00:05:46,369 --> 00:05:48,357
Like a naked
version of this.
125
00:05:48,425 --> 00:05:50,243
Ooh, that sounds fun.
126
00:05:53,117 --> 00:05:56,056
Maybe without Big Eyes. Lucy,
127
00:05:56,124 --> 00:05:57,837
squirrel in the back
of the house!
128
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,626
There's no squirrels.
129
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,902
- Mmm.
- Oh. Mmm.
130
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:06,290
- Mmm.
- Oh.
131
00:06:06,358 --> 00:06:09,024
I can't go back
any farther.
132
00:06:09,181 --> 00:06:11,274
There's, like, nine
pillows behind me.
133
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,087
Uh, yeah, well, uh,
my ex-wife is a decorator,
134
00:06:14,155 --> 00:06:16,610
and she's really
into throw pillows.
135
00:06:16,678 --> 00:06:18,134
And art and furniture.
136
00:06:18,225 --> 00:06:21,432
Pretty much everything
in the house that's not me.
137
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,350
Mmm.
138
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:29,095
So, what you're saying is your
ex-wife is kind of everywhere.
139
00:06:31,031 --> 00:06:35,095
Yeah. I never really
thought about that.
140
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,261
It's just that
it's our first time,
141
00:06:38,329 --> 00:06:39,837
and I want it
to be perfect.
142
00:06:39,905 --> 00:06:41,188
You know what?
143
00:06:41,302 --> 00:06:43,394
I got a surprise
for you now.
144
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:47,361
How about you and me find
a really nice hotel room?
145
00:06:48,181 --> 00:06:49,829
Oh, my God, hotel sex?
146
00:06:49,897 --> 00:06:52,142
That's the best kind
of sex there is.
147
00:06:53,909 --> 00:06:56,702
I know.
Such a beautiful service.
148
00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:58,235
So moving.
149
00:06:58,303 --> 00:07:00,131
I'll see you at the reception.
150
00:07:00,727 --> 00:07:03,681
Oh, my God, that
was endless.
151
00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:07,251
The standing up,
the sitting down.
152
00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:10,212
That guy walking around
throwing smoke at people.
153
00:07:10,477 --> 00:07:12,405
And if I have to wait
in line for a cracker,
154
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,212
would it kill 'em to spray
a little cheese on it?
155
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:16,864
I don't know. I thought
156
00:07:16,932 --> 00:07:18,634
the children's choir
was kind of nice.
157
00:07:18,702 --> 00:07:19,949
Really? 'Cause I was hoping
158
00:07:20,032 --> 00:07:22,328
a bigger choir would come
and beat 'em up.
159
00:07:22,422 --> 00:07:25,416
Come on. They were singing
about love in Italian.
160
00:07:25,484 --> 00:07:27,025
Oh, they could have been
singing about linguine.
161
00:07:27,092 --> 00:07:28,563
You don't know.
162
00:07:30,132 --> 00:07:31,703
Are your eyes red?
163
00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:34,656
Please tell me
you weren't crying.
164
00:07:34,724 --> 00:07:37,657
No. Just...
the whole thing got to me
165
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,453
a little more
than I thought it would.
166
00:07:40,297 --> 00:07:42,695
When they took
their two little candles
167
00:07:43,109 --> 00:07:45,355
and lit the one big candle.
168
00:07:46,242 --> 00:07:48,938
They're the one big candle now.
169
00:07:49,975 --> 00:07:51,593
Sorry, I didn't notice.
170
00:07:51,661 --> 00:07:52,758
At that point, I was trying
171
00:07:52,826 --> 00:07:56,008
to slice my Spanx open
with a nail clipper.
172
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:58,682
Hey, would it be so terrible
173
00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:00,228
if we did the candle thing
at our wedding?
174
00:08:00,295 --> 00:08:01,875
Maybe we even get married
in a church.
175
00:08:01,943 --> 00:08:03,525
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
176
00:08:03,593 --> 00:08:05,841
What happened to City Hall,
Chinese food, Hawaii?
177
00:08:05,995 --> 00:08:09,586
I don't know. Maybe we should
do something more traditional.
178
00:08:10,663 --> 00:08:13,914
The only reason I am not
driving head-on into traffic
179
00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:16,399
is I don't want to
die in this dress.
180
00:08:20,435 --> 00:08:22,370
So this room's
working for you.
181
00:08:22,867 --> 00:08:24,180
Oh, yeah.
182
00:08:29,899 --> 00:08:31,134
Was that you?
183
00:08:31,335 --> 00:08:34,105
Not yet.
184
00:08:35,017 --> 00:08:37,703
Oh, God, yes.
185
00:08:39,503 --> 00:08:41,852
Still not me.
186
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,275
You know what?
I think we've got some neighbors.
187
00:08:44,342 --> 00:08:46,659
Why don't
we try to tune 'em out?
188
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,615
Oh!
189
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,552
Well, that guy
has a gear I don't have.
190
00:09:16,303 --> 00:09:17,781
I'm really sorry.
191
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,381
No, no, no, no, no.
I get it. I get it.
192
00:09:19,449 --> 00:09:22,107
That second girl
got pretty loud.
193
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,255
So where to now?
194
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:28,724
Well, I'm gonna take us
to my favorite beach.
195
00:09:28,792 --> 00:09:32,162
It's really secluded
and very romantic.
196
00:09:33,053 --> 00:09:35,287
Oh. The beach.
197
00:09:35,635 --> 00:09:38,260
I think you mean,
"Oh, the beach!"
198
00:09:38,556 --> 00:09:40,391
No, I-I love the beach.
199
00:09:40,459 --> 00:09:42,906
- I just don't love the beach naked.
- Ah.
200
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,622
Women are kind of
like English muffins.
201
00:09:45,981 --> 00:09:48,466
We have a lot
of nooks and crannies.
202
00:09:51,304 --> 00:09:53,139
What's going on?
203
00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:57,930
Well,
Christy, um...
204
00:09:58,676 --> 00:10:00,074
I just got to ask.
205
00:10:00,356 --> 00:10:02,182
Are you having
second thoughts about this?
206
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:03,622
- What? No.
- No, no, no.
207
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,077
It-It's okay,
because I-if you're not
208
00:10:06,145 --> 00:10:08,505
feeling right about it,
then we can wait.
209
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,333
No, I don't want to wait.
210
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,112
I just want to look
back on tonight
211
00:10:12,189 --> 00:10:16,161
and be like,
"aw," not "meh."
212
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,542
Well, nobody's looking
for "meh."
213
00:10:20,122 --> 00:10:22,263
It's just that if the
first time isn't great,
214
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,802
then the next time
you're worried it won't be good again,
215
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:26,240
and then you're all
messed up in your head,
216
00:10:26,307 --> 00:10:28,442
and then the
pressure's really on.
217
00:10:29,466 --> 00:10:31,677
I never thought of it
that way.
218
00:10:32,476 --> 00:10:34,481
But I am now.
219
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,591
You know what?
I'm being ridiculous.
220
00:10:38,708 --> 00:10:40,030
Of course it's gonna
be perfect,
221
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:41,130
because it's you and me.
222
00:10:41,198 --> 00:10:42,599
Yeah.
223
00:10:43,713 --> 00:10:45,481
You know what?
224
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,179
Let's do it
right here, right now.
225
00:10:47,817 --> 00:10:49,059
Oh.
226
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:52,332
Ha. Well, you're-you're-you're
putting a lot of pressure
227
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,069
on the next six minutes.
228
00:10:54,699 --> 00:10:56,777
Let's take this party
to the back.
229
00:10:56,845 --> 00:10:58,236
Phew.
230
00:11:02,926 --> 00:11:05,145
You got to be back here
for the party.
231
00:11:05,428 --> 00:11:07,678
Yes, I know how sex
works.
232
00:11:09,106 --> 00:11:10,645
Are you all right?
233
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,598
Well, I was until you started
talking about all that stuff.
234
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,981
How can it be perfect?
235
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,217
I've never been perfect.
236
00:11:16,434 --> 00:11:18,282
I've been very good at best.
237
00:11:18,754 --> 00:11:20,786
- It's okay, Patrick.
- No, it's not okay. It's not.
238
00:11:20,853 --> 00:11:22,772
I-I-I can't breathe.
239
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,332
I-I need some air.
240
00:11:28,006 --> 00:11:29,230
I changed my mind!
241
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,777
I'd be perfectly happy
with "meh."
242
00:11:37,403 --> 00:11:39,348
How you feeling,
Patrick?
243
00:11:40,207 --> 00:11:42,793
Ah, pretty embarrassed, Christy.
244
00:11:43,512 --> 00:11:45,035
Can I come over and visit?
245
00:11:45,369 --> 00:11:47,152
Okay.
246
00:11:58,998 --> 00:12:00,522
This is my fault.
247
00:12:00,764 --> 00:12:03,875
I made tonight into
a way bigger deal
248
00:12:03,943 --> 00:12:05,180
- than it needed to be.
- No.
249
00:12:05,248 --> 00:12:07,357
I-It's not you.
It's not you.
250
00:12:07,734 --> 00:12:09,368
Look, I was married
for 30 years
251
00:12:09,445 --> 00:12:11,885
and the last five, we
didn't touch each other.
252
00:12:12,169 --> 00:12:13,959
And all that talk
about being perfect
253
00:12:14,045 --> 00:12:16,561
triggered what
WebMD diagnosed
254
00:12:16,686 --> 00:12:19,264
as a mild-to-moderate
panic attack.
255
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,781
That's not sexy.
256
00:12:22,725 --> 00:12:24,678
I think you're very sexy.
257
00:12:26,452 --> 00:12:29,576
So, you're still interested
258
00:12:29,911 --> 00:12:31,024
in a middle-aged neurotic
259
00:12:31,092 --> 00:12:33,647
with only one-and-a-half
notches on his belt?
260
00:12:34,326 --> 00:12:35,834
Very interested.
261
00:12:40,623 --> 00:12:42,191
How 'bout this?
262
00:12:42,268 --> 00:12:44,508
We go back to your place,
go to sleep...
263
00:12:44,576 --> 00:12:46,439
And I mean actual sleep...
264
00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:48,775
And start fresh
in the morning.
265
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:51,191
I love that idea.
266
00:12:57,427 --> 00:12:59,514
So I'm curious.
267
00:12:59,819 --> 00:13:02,989
What counts as half a notch?
268
00:13:06,154 --> 00:13:07,913
I'm holding firm on my stance.
269
00:13:08,061 --> 00:13:09,796
You're not supposed
to take that.
270
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,240
They ran out of centerpieces.
271
00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:15,803
And I deserve a takeaway
272
00:13:15,871 --> 00:13:17,818
for the pain and
suffering of this dress.
273
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,998
Pretty sure
that's hotel property.
274
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,304
No, they expect you to take 'em.
275
00:13:21,371 --> 00:13:23,365
It's like robes and televisions.
276
00:13:24,477 --> 00:13:27,264
How amazing was
that reception?
277
00:13:27,451 --> 00:13:28,774
What was so great about it?
278
00:13:29,248 --> 00:13:31,709
Did you not see
the mountain of gifts?
279
00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:33,252
They wiped out Pottery Barn.
280
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,225
Now it's just a barn.
281
00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:38,123
You really think they need
all that junk?
282
00:13:38,201 --> 00:13:40,006
Of course not.
They're at the store tomorrow,
283
00:13:40,074 --> 00:13:42,881
returning all that stuff
for cold, hard cash.
284
00:13:43,076 --> 00:13:44,693
And how 'bout the dollar dance?
285
00:13:44,811 --> 00:13:47,076
You pin money on the bride
to dance with her?
286
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:49,990
What genius
came up with that idea?
287
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,537
Probably the first stripper
to get married.
288
00:13:54,576 --> 00:13:56,633
Well, I am definitely doing that
at our wedding.
289
00:13:56,701 --> 00:13:57,811
And I'll make more money,
290
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,514
because I've six feet
of pinnable area.
291
00:14:01,047 --> 00:14:02,721
You're incredible.
292
00:14:02,901 --> 00:14:04,303
You know what else we could do?
293
00:14:04,374 --> 00:14:06,042
Corporate sponsors.
294
00:14:07,171 --> 00:14:09,481
"Do you, Bonnie, take Adam
to be your husband?"
295
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,370
"I sure do, especially
after driving here
296
00:14:11,438 --> 00:14:14,041
on Firestone tires."
297
00:14:16,262 --> 00:14:19,946
Honey, our wedding
could be a real cash cow.
298
00:14:20,714 --> 00:14:22,058
Wow.
299
00:14:22,441 --> 00:14:25,755
I tell you how moved I was
by this beautiful ceremony,
300
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:26,996
and you crap all over it.
301
00:14:27,097 --> 00:14:29,188
And then you see a pile
of toaster ovens
302
00:14:29,342 --> 00:14:31,740
and a woman with 20s
taped to her ass,
303
00:14:31,849 --> 00:14:33,135
and you can't get enough.
304
00:14:33,302 --> 00:14:35,904
Oh, so you're allowed
to change your mind
305
00:14:35,982 --> 00:14:37,902
about what kind of wedding
you want, but I'm not?
306
00:14:38,017 --> 00:14:39,185
No, it's bigger than
our wedding, Bonnie.
307
00:14:39,252 --> 00:14:41,013
It's about what we want in life.
308
00:14:45,631 --> 00:14:48,715
I want a fiancé who's
not a Catholic schoolgirl.
309
00:14:55,634 --> 00:14:59,361
Oh. Oh.
310
00:14:59,438 --> 00:15:00,763
Good morning.
311
00:15:01,411 --> 00:15:02,600
Lucy, off.
312
00:15:02,685 --> 00:15:04,934
Oh. No, no, no, no, no.
It's-it's okay.
313
00:15:05,011 --> 00:15:06,826
No, it's not okay.
She's on the boys.
314
00:15:06,894 --> 00:15:08,523
Lucy, off.
Come on. Come on.
315
00:15:08,591 --> 00:15:09,856
Attagirl.
316
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,545
Phew. Hey.
317
00:15:12,732 --> 00:15:13,924
How'd you sleep?
318
00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:15,206
- Ah.
- Huh.
319
00:15:15,354 --> 00:15:17,190
Great. You?
320
00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:19,124
Excellent.
321
00:15:19,327 --> 00:15:21,952
I think we got this part
of the relationship down.
322
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,982
Yes, we have nailed sleeping.
All right.
323
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:26,445
Well, you know what?
324
00:15:26,513 --> 00:15:27,824
That settles it then.
325
00:15:27,901 --> 00:15:30,086
We'll be one of those
weird couples who sleeps
326
00:15:30,154 --> 00:15:31,755
in the same room and
never has sex.
327
00:15:32,371 --> 00:15:33,572
Like Bert and Ernie.
328
00:15:33,649 --> 00:15:36,054
Oh, those guys are
totally doing it.
329
00:15:36,757 --> 00:15:39,012
Well, then,
maybe we should.
330
00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:49,694
Oh, boy, I'm so glad
we didn't give up on this.
331
00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:50,984
Me, too.
332
00:15:51,264 --> 00:15:53,957
I mean, the-the
long-distance thing
333
00:15:54,179 --> 00:15:57,076
could have been a lot
for other people, you know?
334
00:15:57,343 --> 00:16:00,780
I mean, we could've just
started seeing someone else.
335
00:16:01,905 --> 00:16:04,070
I'm really happy we didn't.
336
00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:08,218
We didn't, right?
337
00:16:11,077 --> 00:16:12,851
Well...
338
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,648
Why on Earth would
you tell Patrick
339
00:16:16,718 --> 00:16:18,174
you slept with
another guy
340
00:16:18,251 --> 00:16:20,962
right before you were about
to sleep with Patrick?
341
00:16:21,030 --> 00:16:22,088
It just came up.
342
00:16:22,165 --> 00:16:24,452
How?
I brought it up.
343
00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:27,449
Cold SpaghettiOs?
344
00:16:27,526 --> 00:16:28,929
That says self-loathing.
345
00:16:28,997 --> 00:16:32,749
Yeah, and I'm using the spoon
that snags your lip.
346
00:16:33,499 --> 00:16:35,194
Ow.
347
00:16:36,102 --> 00:16:37,741
I deserve that.
348
00:16:38,361 --> 00:16:39,921
So why did you tell him?
349
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,851
I didn't want to start the
relationship off with a lie.
350
00:16:42,991 --> 00:16:45,925
That's fine, but you got to
bang their brains out first.
351
00:16:45,993 --> 00:16:47,937
Then you can be honest.
352
00:16:48,255 --> 00:16:49,788
I do it with Adam
all the time.
353
00:16:49,856 --> 00:16:50,984
It's the main
reason we have sex.
354
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,913
Oh, it is not.
355
00:16:54,587 --> 00:16:56,577
You and Adam are great together.
356
00:16:56,734 --> 00:16:58,835
I'd give anything
for what you have.
357
00:16:59,211 --> 00:17:01,499
Not today. We had
a huge fight.
358
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,124
All of a sudden he wants a
traditional church wedding.
359
00:17:04,795 --> 00:17:07,298
Doesn't he know that if you walk
into a church wearing white,
360
00:17:07,366 --> 00:17:09,302
you'll burst into flames?
361
00:17:11,006 --> 00:17:12,655
Thank you.
362
00:17:20,177 --> 00:17:23,389
Mom? Adam?
363
00:17:23,732 --> 00:17:26,818
Are you somewhere in here
having sex?
364
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:30,412
Boy, I hope not.
365
00:17:30,941 --> 00:17:32,420
Patrick.
366
00:17:34,841 --> 00:17:36,670
This is for me?
367
00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:39,789
Well, you're not the only one
368
00:17:39,857 --> 00:17:42,584
who can make
a big romantic gesture.
369
00:17:43,173 --> 00:17:46,299
♪ Slow ride ♪
370
00:17:46,572 --> 00:17:47,683
♪ Take it easy... ♪
371
00:17:47,855 --> 00:17:50,230
Sorry, uh, wrong song!
372
00:17:50,298 --> 00:17:52,133
I-I work out to that.
373
00:17:52,253 --> 00:17:53,300
Okay.
374
00:17:53,479 --> 00:17:54,680
That's supposed to be Seal.
375
00:17:54,757 --> 00:17:57,139
And, uh, oh, sorry.
376
00:17:57,216 --> 00:17:58,888
Oh, I-I-I can't find it.
377
00:17:58,956 --> 00:18:01,177
Uh, look,
j-just try to imagine
378
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,421
"Kiss From a Rose"
playing in the back...
379
00:18:09,192 --> 00:18:11,231
I love that you
did all this.
380
00:18:11,379 --> 00:18:13,856
I'm-I'm so sorry
I overreacted.
381
00:18:13,924 --> 00:18:16,288
You easily could have lied
and I never
382
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:17,308
- would have known.
- I forgive you.
383
00:18:17,376 --> 00:18:18,429
Bedroom's this way.
384
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:19,739
Uh...
385
00:18:19,989 --> 00:18:22,098
- Oh, damn it.
- What?
386
00:18:22,175 --> 00:18:23,442
I forgot condoms.
387
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,028
Oh, I got
a ton of 'em.
388
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:26,952
Don't think about it.
389
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,481
Just get up here.
390
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,776
Hey.
391
00:18:39,844 --> 00:18:41,176
Thanks for coming over.
392
00:18:41,268 --> 00:18:43,879
I don't like the way
we left things the other day.
393
00:18:45,387 --> 00:18:47,345
Wow, Bonnie.
394
00:18:47,422 --> 00:18:49,122
You didn't have
to do all this.
395
00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:50,982
Oh, no, I...
396
00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:53,450
Yes, yes, I did.
397
00:18:53,959 --> 00:18:56,239
I absolutely did.
398
00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:59,442
Because I love you.
399
00:19:04,124 --> 00:19:07,106
I love you, too. Mmm.
400
00:19:07,410 --> 00:19:09,325
Look, I don't want to fight
about wedding stuff.
401
00:19:09,392 --> 00:19:11,576
I don't either.
Let's just kick the can down the road.
402
00:19:11,644 --> 00:19:13,147
Or, I've been thinking,
why don't we throw out
403
00:19:13,215 --> 00:19:14,355
the can altogether?
404
00:19:14,423 --> 00:19:15,753
What does that mean?
405
00:19:15,832 --> 00:19:17,668
Let's just keep things
the way they are
406
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:19,488
and stay engaged forever.
407
00:19:19,621 --> 00:19:21,646
But I want to marry you.
408
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:27,527
Well, I asked you six months ago
and you won't set a date.
409
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:30,364
You know, clearly, you don't
want to be the big candle.
410
00:19:30,471 --> 00:19:32,530
I do. I do want to
be the big candle.
411
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,183
Let's just be happy
with what we have.
412
00:19:39,128 --> 00:19:40,488
No.
413
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:41,957
Next year.
414
00:19:42,025 --> 00:19:44,278
First weekend in June. Done.
Bonnie, Bonnie.
415
00:19:44,346 --> 00:19:45,358
- We're doing it. I just did it.
- Bonnie, we don't...
416
00:19:45,425 --> 00:19:47,206
Deal with it.
Order the doves.
417
00:19:47,669 --> 00:19:48,849
- Esp...
- Watch this.
418
00:19:48,917 --> 00:19:50,511
I'm gonna put it
in the calendar.
419
00:19:52,714 --> 00:19:54,288
Adam Barnabus Janikowski,
420
00:19:54,356 --> 00:19:55,824
did I just get played?
421
00:19:56,259 --> 00:19:58,136
Still not my middle name.
422
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,748
And that depends.
423
00:19:59,816 --> 00:20:01,043
Should I open this card
424
00:20:01,111 --> 00:20:02,878
that's sitting in "my" flowers?
425
00:20:04,793 --> 00:20:06,824
June it is.
426
00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:10,861
♪♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
427
00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:18,207
♪♪