1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:07,632
So, I have what I've been
told is a moral dilemma.

2
00:00:08,273 --> 00:00:10,969
Whatever your gut is
telling you, do the opposite.

3
00:00:11,726 --> 00:00:13,873
That's what I thought
at first, so I switched,

4
00:00:13,898 --> 00:00:15,725
but that made me think
I should switch again.

5
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:17,083
So now where am I?

6
00:00:17,368 --> 00:00:18,667
I'm going back to my phone.

7
00:00:18,692 --> 00:00:20,162
Give me a nudge when she gets to it.

8
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,828
Patrick's getting married.

9
00:00:22,853 --> 00:00:24,686
And the phone is down.

10
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,359
I feel like he and
Christy just broke up.

11
00:00:27,384 --> 00:00:28,550
They did.

12
00:00:28,575 --> 00:00:30,024
Men are pigs.

13
00:00:30,049 --> 00:00:32,216
Unless he reconnected
with a long-lost love.

14
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:33,976
In that case, aw.

15
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,093
It's the fitness model.

16
00:00:36,118 --> 00:00:38,187
He hid the ring in her "a-sigh" bowl.

17
00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,853
It thought it was "a-kye."

18
00:00:39,977 --> 00:00:41,893
You're both wrong.
It's "ah-sigh-ee."

19
00:00:43,226 --> 00:00:44,843
Who cares how you say it?

20
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,125
It's just sherbert.

21
00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:47,933
Actually, it's "sher-bit."

22
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,682
Okay, good-bye.

23
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,023
Stop.

24
00:00:52,048 --> 00:00:53,570
How's Christy taking it?

25
00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:55,257
She doesn't know.

26
00:00:55,282 --> 00:00:57,365
Welcome to the aforementioned dilemma.

27
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,807
Why haven't you told her?

28
00:00:59,035 --> 00:01:01,535
Because Adam's taking me
away for a romantic weekend

29
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,193
at a spa resort in Reno.

30
00:01:03,218 --> 00:01:04,613
- Ooh...
- Oh... - Oh...

31
00:01:04,615 --> 00:01:06,476
In theory, "Oh..."

32
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:08,937
But how can I enjoy
making sweet love to Adam

33
00:01:08,962 --> 00:01:10,461
in our room with partial mountain view

34
00:01:10,486 --> 00:01:13,104
when I keep getting FaceTimed
by a puffy-eyed Christy?

35
00:01:13,739 --> 00:01:14,988
Partial view?

36
00:01:15,083 --> 00:01:16,835
I thought he loved you.

37
00:01:17,128 --> 00:01:18,882
Go back to your phone.

38
00:01:19,531 --> 00:01:21,414
Bonnie, part of being a mother

39
00:01:21,439 --> 00:01:23,101
is putting your child before you.

40
00:01:23,164 --> 00:01:25,021
That child is 40 years old,

41
00:01:25,046 --> 00:01:28,097
and this child has never
had a hot stone massage.

42
00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:30,670
Oh, Marjorie, it's just two days.

43
00:01:30,672 --> 00:01:32,255
Let her have some fun.

44
00:01:32,257 --> 00:01:34,757
She's looking at a
lifetime of partial views.

45
00:01:34,759 --> 00:01:36,592
Exactly. I can just as easily

46
00:01:36,594 --> 00:01:38,515
crush my daughter's world on Monday.

47
00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:41,647
And maybe bring her a Reno
snow globe to soften the blow.

48
00:01:41,649 --> 00:01:42,899
She hates those things.

49
00:01:42,901 --> 00:01:44,914
Not everyone does.

50
00:01:47,856 --> 00:01:49,605
(whispers): Dilemma
over. I think she knows.

51
00:01:49,607 --> 00:01:51,607
We can't be sure. It
might be something I did.

52
00:01:51,609 --> 00:01:53,326
Oh, please be something I did.

53
00:01:54,224 --> 00:01:55,556
What's the matter, honey?

54
00:01:55,581 --> 00:01:57,398
Patrick's getting married.

55
00:01:57,423 --> 00:01:59,757
(sniffles) He posted on Instagram.

56
00:02:00,375 --> 00:02:03,035
He gave her a ring in
an "ah-cha-chi" bowl.

57
00:02:03,734 --> 00:02:06,005
- Actually...
- Let her have this.

58
00:02:17,193 --> 00:02:21,679
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

59
00:02:30,492 --> 00:02:32,325
(blows)

60
00:02:34,996 --> 00:02:36,362
You want a hit?

61
00:02:36,809 --> 00:02:40,218
No. No, thanks. I already had
a log of cookie dough for lunch.

62
00:02:41,719 --> 00:02:43,015
I just don't understand

63
00:02:43,017 --> 00:02:45,226
how Patrick can get over me so fast.

64
00:02:45,613 --> 00:02:47,328
I'm a catch.

65
00:02:48,489 --> 00:02:51,023
It's not you... my brother
just can't live alone.

66
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,523
So what, he'll just marry anyone?

67
00:02:53,611 --> 00:02:55,726
What do the towels in his bathroom say?

68
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:57,617
"His and Whoever"?

69
00:02:57,984 --> 00:03:00,859
Babe, you're just taking shorts
and T-shirts to Reno, right?

70
00:03:00,884 --> 00:03:03,801
- Yeah. It's gonna be hot.
- Oh. It's gonna be hot.

71
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,426
Oh. Right.

72
00:03:06,725 --> 00:03:08,942
(whispers): It's gonna be so hot.

73
00:03:09,241 --> 00:03:10,908
I can still hear you.

74
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,936
Honey, are you gonna
be okay this weekend?

75
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,767
Why don't you make plans with the girls?

76
00:03:14,792 --> 00:03:16,648
Jill's busy, Wendy's working,

77
00:03:16,673 --> 00:03:19,023
and... Marjorie and Victor
are spending the weekend

78
00:03:19,048 --> 00:03:20,936
rediscovering their love.

79
00:03:21,156 --> 00:03:23,657
- Oosh.
- Ugh. (Shudders)

80
00:03:24,382 --> 00:03:27,140
(sighs) I need some chocolate syrup.

81
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,867
This isn't sweet enough.

82
00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:31,397
I'm worried about her.

83
00:03:31,399 --> 00:03:33,203
Me, too. You think we
should postpone this trip?

84
00:03:33,228 --> 00:03:35,729
No way. I can still worry about
her while I'm on top of you

85
00:03:35,754 --> 00:03:37,387
looking at some mountain
and some parking lot.

86
00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:40,406
You know, honey, we could
go away together anytime.

87
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:42,374
I would not take it personally

88
00:03:42,376 --> 00:03:43,742
if you went with her instead of me.

89
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,495
(clicks tongue) You're so sweet.

90
00:03:46,497 --> 00:03:47,996
So what's the sporting event

91
00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:49,742
you don't want to miss this weekend?

92
00:03:50,523 --> 00:03:52,396
I'll admit, when I booked this trip,

93
00:03:52,421 --> 00:03:54,420
that I did not know Edmonton and Calgary

94
00:03:54,422 --> 00:03:55,929
would make it to a game seven.

95
00:03:56,223 --> 00:03:58,090
And let me guess... Those two teams

96
00:03:58,092 --> 00:03:59,203
don't like each other very much.

97
00:03:59,228 --> 00:04:00,820
Oh, it's gonna get a little chippy.

98
00:04:01,929 --> 00:04:03,820
But I really do think
that you should take her

99
00:04:03,845 --> 00:04:04,898
and get her mind off Patrick.

100
00:04:04,923 --> 00:04:06,255
Trust me, she's gonna be okay.

101
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,406
She's stronger than she looks,

102
00:04:07,431 --> 00:04:09,585
thanks to a lifetime of disappointment.

103
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,301
We didn't have any chocolate syrup,

104
00:04:13,326 --> 00:04:16,437
so I just rolled it in
sugar and Froot Loops.

105
00:04:18,765 --> 00:04:21,226
I might have invented something great.

106
00:04:21,866 --> 00:04:24,416
♪ ♪

107
00:04:25,869 --> 00:04:27,869
You are so lucky to have Adam.

108
00:04:28,453 --> 00:04:30,956
What a sweet guy to
give up his trip for me.

109
00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:32,687
He shouldn't get the credit for this.

110
00:04:32,712 --> 00:04:34,295
This was my idea.

111
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,289
He pushed back pretty
hard, but I said, "No,

112
00:04:36,314 --> 00:04:38,351
my Christy needs this"

113
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:42,250
I half believed you until
you said "my Christy."

114
00:04:43,259 --> 00:04:45,126
Yeah, I got greedy.

115
00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:48,807
You know, it'd be a lot easier
for you to forget Patrick

116
00:04:48,809 --> 00:04:50,809
if you got off his Instagram page.

117
00:04:50,811 --> 00:04:52,644
I'm not looking at him.

118
00:04:52,646 --> 00:04:54,863
I'm looking at the
giant ring he gave her.

119
00:04:54,865 --> 00:04:57,116
How many karats do you think that is?

120
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,231
Am I focusing on the massive one

121
00:04:59,390 --> 00:05:01,641
in the middle or the
little ones worshipping it?

122
00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:02,812
Not helpful.

123
00:05:02,837 --> 00:05:05,454
All it tells me is
someone's overcompensating.

124
00:05:05,841 --> 00:05:07,258
Actually, no.

125
00:05:07,283 --> 00:05:09,167
He was pretty good
in that department.

126
00:05:09,192 --> 00:05:10,272
Really?

127
00:05:10,297 --> 00:05:13,261
He looks like a guy
who'd have a wee dingle.

128
00:05:13,456 --> 00:05:15,245
A wee dingle?

129
00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:18,805
Yeah. Like a strawberry
peeking up out of the leaves.

130
00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:20,546
You can tell by looking at a guy?

131
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,675
Measure the distance between
their eyes, multiply by three.

132
00:05:25,961 --> 00:05:28,378
This is what it would look like on me.

133
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:32,745
Yeah, but if you took the ring,

134
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:34,065
you'd have to take the
guy that came with it,

135
00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:35,390
and you didn't want him.

136
00:05:35,415 --> 00:05:38,026
(sighs) You know what? You're right.

137
00:05:38,051 --> 00:05:39,166
I'm always right.

138
00:05:39,894 --> 00:05:43,896
Name one other time
you were right, ever.

139
00:05:43,921 --> 00:05:45,347
Titanic.

140
00:05:45,907 --> 00:05:48,541
What, that you didn't go on it?

141
00:05:48,776 --> 00:05:50,392
The movie.

142
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,136
Everyone said it was no good,

143
00:05:52,161 --> 00:05:54,659
and I said, "Give this
little boat picture a try."

144
00:05:54,684 --> 00:05:56,234
What are you talking about?

145
00:05:56,259 --> 00:05:58,417
It's the most popular movie of all time.

146
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,025
Thanks to me.

147
00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:06,925
♪ Somewhere out there ♪

148
00:06:08,047 --> 00:06:12,776
♪ Beneath the pale moonlight ♪

149
00:06:13,693 --> 00:06:15,226
♪ Why ♪

150
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,084
♪ Do, dah-dah, Dee... ♪

151
00:06:17,109 --> 00:06:18,525
What are you doing?

152
00:06:18,543 --> 00:06:20,097
I'm singing the Titanic song.

153
00:06:20,122 --> 00:06:22,205
That's Fievel, the mouse
from An American Tail.

154
00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:24,198
We'll rent it tonight. You'll see.

155
00:06:25,615 --> 00:06:27,315
Ooh! Ice cream.

156
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:28,659
What? We're almost there.

157
00:06:28,684 --> 00:06:30,761
DQ! DQ! Exit, exit, exit!

158
00:06:30,786 --> 00:06:33,036
No! You can get ice cream at the hotel.

159
00:06:33,061 --> 00:06:34,901
We came here to make me feel better,

160
00:06:34,926 --> 00:06:37,259
and a chocolate Blizzard
would make me feel better.

161
00:06:37,284 --> 00:06:38,784
(chanting): DQ! DQ!

162
00:06:38,809 --> 00:06:40,392
DQ! DQ! DQ!

163
00:06:40,424 --> 00:06:42,674
- DQ! DQ!
- This may be why I disappeared so much

164
00:06:42,699 --> 00:06:44,199
- when you were a kid.
- DQ! DQ!

165
00:06:44,224 --> 00:06:47,190
DQ! DQ! DQ! DQ!

166
00:06:47,246 --> 00:06:53,690
♪ Even though I know how
very far apart we are ♪

167
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:57,440
♪ It makes me happy to think ♪

168
00:06:57,465 --> 00:07:01,784
♪ We might be wishing
on the same star... ♪

169
00:07:01,809 --> 00:07:04,093
What is happening here?

170
00:07:05,547 --> 00:07:08,433
Love theme from Titanic.

171
00:07:08,901 --> 00:07:11,503
What can I do you for, Officer?

172
00:07:11,528 --> 00:07:14,146
Any reason you don't
have plates on this car?

173
00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:15,948
We don't? (Chuckles)

174
00:07:15,973 --> 00:07:17,620
Well, uh, daughter's car.

175
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:18,978
She's inside getting ice cream.

176
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,920
You're gonna have to
take it up with her.

177
00:07:21,327 --> 00:07:24,611
You're the only one here,
so I'm taking it up with you.

178
00:07:25,026 --> 00:07:26,534
Okay. (Inhales sharply)

179
00:07:26,559 --> 00:07:29,323
If I had to hazard a guess... New car,

180
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:32,349
plates are probably in a pile
of unopened bills on her desk,

181
00:07:32,374 --> 00:07:33,957
and if you bug her about it,

182
00:07:34,076 --> 00:07:35,675
you're gonna get a bit of an earful.

183
00:07:35,894 --> 00:07:38,588
Hmm. License and registration.

184
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:42,875
Man, must be a slow
crime day in... nowhere.

185
00:07:43,815 --> 00:07:45,795
This make you feel like a big man?

186
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:48,904
- (handcuffs click)
- Ow! Pinchy! Pinchy!

187
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,603
I was gone for five minutes!

188
00:07:53,605 --> 00:07:55,138
What did you do?

189
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:57,331
I ran out on some parking
tickets 20 years ago,

190
00:07:57,356 --> 00:07:59,636
which wasn't a problem
until we came to Nevada,

191
00:07:59,661 --> 00:08:01,706
and you didn't put
your license plates on!

192
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,814
I told you I'll get to it.

193
00:08:03,839 --> 00:08:05,756
Oh. Okay then. No hurry.

194
00:08:06,059 --> 00:08:07,496
All right, let's go.

195
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:11,292
Wait, wait, wait. Give me a lick
of that before they lock me up.

196
00:08:11,648 --> 00:08:14,148
Ooh. Brain freeze! Brain freeze!

197
00:08:18,816 --> 00:08:22,301
Can you actually type
with those sausages?

198
00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:24,858
I do all right.

199
00:08:25,556 --> 00:08:26,956
Well, pick up the pace.

200
00:08:26,981 --> 00:08:28,931
We've got hot stone massages at 5:00.

201
00:08:28,956 --> 00:08:31,006
I told you, this one's
got a mouth on her.

202
00:08:31,529 --> 00:08:33,464
Check out the space between his eyes.

203
00:08:33,489 --> 00:08:36,394
Hey, hey, no talking in code.

204
00:08:37,762 --> 00:08:40,190
Listen, Officer, this is all my fault.

205
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,503
I'm the one who forgot to
put the plates on my car.

206
00:08:42,528 --> 00:08:44,065
Hey, Sarg, you want me
to write her up for that?

207
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,058
I could write her up for that.

208
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,466
Look, Terry,

209
00:08:46,503 --> 00:08:48,526
why don't you head over
to the middle school,

210
00:08:48,551 --> 00:08:51,135
and see if they finished
repainting that crosswalk?

211
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,528
On it. Call me if things go
sideways with String Bean.

212
00:08:54,553 --> 00:08:55,969
That's you.

213
00:08:56,046 --> 00:08:57,776
We have codes, too.

214
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:05,470
All right, Ms. Plunkett, follow me.

215
00:09:06,382 --> 00:09:08,332
Oh. Oh, come on.

216
00:09:08,647 --> 00:09:11,231
Is this really necessary?
Can't we just pay?

217
00:09:11,311 --> 00:09:14,258
Oh, sure, if you have $2,185.

218
00:09:15,476 --> 00:09:17,242
Get in there.

219
00:09:17,837 --> 00:09:19,837
If you don't want me in
here for murder, call Adam,

220
00:09:19,862 --> 00:09:21,328
have him transfer the
money to your account,

221
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,136
and then go to an ATM and get it.

222
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,390
Is there a bank nearby?

223
00:09:25,415 --> 00:09:28,416
No, but there's a hotel
12 miles south of here

224
00:09:28,441 --> 00:09:30,191
with a high-limit ATM.

225
00:09:30,216 --> 00:09:32,531
Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can.

226
00:09:32,847 --> 00:09:34,597
Hey, real quick.

227
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:38,503
Isn't that a lot of ring
for someone you just met?

228
00:09:38,505 --> 00:09:40,406
- Go!
- Right, right.

229
00:09:40,438 --> 00:09:43,850
- Hotel, 12 miles north.
- South! South! Got it.

230
00:09:45,472 --> 00:09:48,554
So which gang do I have
to join to survive in here?

231
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:55,126
(laughing): Wait. She's
actually in a little jail cell

232
00:09:55,151 --> 00:09:56,984
like Otis the drunk?

233
00:09:57,009 --> 00:09:58,759
I don't know who that is.

234
00:09:58,942 --> 00:10:02,027
You know, Mayberry? Andy Griffith, Opie.

235
00:10:02,029 --> 00:10:03,804
- CHRISTY: Adam.
- It's so funny.

236
00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:07,198
Otis would get drunk and
then lock himself in the cell.

237
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,508
Boy, self, cell, that's hard to say.

238
00:10:10,031 --> 00:10:13,121
Do you get high the minute
my mom goes out of town?

239
00:10:13,123 --> 00:10:14,468
Eh, pretty much.

240
00:10:15,312 --> 00:10:17,626
Can you transfer the bail money or not?

241
00:10:17,628 --> 00:10:19,594
On one condition: You get a video of her

242
00:10:19,596 --> 00:10:21,953
raking a tin cup across
the bars. (Laughs)

243
00:10:22,182 --> 00:10:23,715
I don't get that either.

244
00:10:23,717 --> 00:10:25,717
Stop being old and
just send me the money.

245
00:10:25,719 --> 00:10:28,053
Yeah, yeah. How much was it again?

246
00:10:28,383 --> 00:10:31,086
$2,150.

247
00:10:31,475 --> 00:10:33,558
I can handle the rest.

248
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:34,976
Well, how much is the rest?

249
00:10:35,617 --> 00:10:36,968
$35.

250
00:10:38,807 --> 00:10:40,231
I'll send it right now.

251
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:42,317
Thanks. Bye.

252
00:10:42,319 --> 00:10:44,861
(crowd cheering on TV)

253
00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:47,893
(chuckles)

254
00:10:47,918 --> 00:10:49,486
Mmm.

255
00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:53,378
(chuckles)

256
00:10:55,604 --> 00:10:57,854
Oh, yeah.

257
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:07,998
Uh...

258
00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:09,600
Can I ask you a question?

259
00:11:10,013 --> 00:11:12,693
I don't know. I'm pretty busy in here.

260
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:17,569
How did you rack up 17 parking
tickets over one weekend?

261
00:11:17,571 --> 00:11:21,123
What the hell was
going on December, 1999?

262
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,751
Y2K was going on.

263
00:11:22,776 --> 00:11:24,776
A lot of dummies thought
the world was gonna end.

264
00:11:24,778 --> 00:11:26,313
Not just dummies.

265
00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:28,563
Continue.

266
00:11:29,445 --> 00:11:33,668
I had this boyfriend, Dale... Dwayne...

267
00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:35,764
that doesn't matter.

268
00:11:35,789 --> 00:11:37,622
Anyway we realized, people freaking out,

269
00:11:37,624 --> 00:11:39,174
good time to sell a lot of drugs.

270
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:41,543
So we hopped in our car
with our hearts full of hope

271
00:11:41,545 --> 00:11:44,045
and a trash bag full
of Mexican Quaaludes.

272
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:47,682
You do know you have the
right to remain silent?

273
00:11:47,684 --> 00:11:49,968
Yeah, that's never been my thing.

274
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,303
Anyway, we promptly got really high

275
00:11:52,305 --> 00:11:53,972
and forgot where we parked the car.

276
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,118
Donny.

277
00:11:55,384 --> 00:11:58,135
- No.
- (ringtone plays)

278
00:12:00,743 --> 00:12:02,212
Hey, honey.

279
00:12:02,993 --> 00:12:05,220
(sighs) What'd she do now?

280
00:12:05,786 --> 00:12:07,501
Oh, God.

281
00:12:08,822 --> 00:12:12,368
No. I-I can't pick her up.
I have someone in the cell.

282
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,816
Well, then, just let her sit there.

283
00:12:15,912 --> 00:12:18,797
That'll teach her... something?

284
00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:20,665
(sighs)

285
00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:23,786
Yeah, a-all right. All right.
I-I got to go.

286
00:12:28,136 --> 00:12:29,302
What'd she do?

287
00:12:29,593 --> 00:12:31,071
Huh? What?

288
00:12:31,344 --> 00:12:33,011
I know what a "my daughter screwed up"

289
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,103
phone call sounds like.

290
00:12:34,324 --> 00:12:37,232
- You got one, too?
- You just met her.

291
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:38,850
Oh, she seemed okay.

292
00:12:38,852 --> 00:12:41,361
Yeah, sure, now, after I cleaned her up.

293
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,477
I pretty much saved her life.

294
00:12:43,502 --> 00:12:46,003
Drugs, alcohol, stripping, gambling...

295
00:12:46,028 --> 00:12:47,861
Name a problem, she's had it.

296
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:49,368
Gambling?

297
00:12:49,780 --> 00:12:52,603
We lost our house 'cause
the Packers didn't cover.

298
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,798
- Huh.
- What?

299
00:12:55,704 --> 00:12:57,752
Well, I just sent her

300
00:12:57,754 --> 00:13:00,321
to an ATM machine in
the middle of a casino.

301
00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:04,165
Huh.

302
00:13:05,212 --> 00:13:07,512
♪ ♪

303
00:13:17,394 --> 00:13:19,528
(cheering)

304
00:13:23,363 --> 00:13:24,813
Mom's in jail. Mom's in jail.

305
00:13:24,815 --> 00:13:26,114
Mom's in jail.

306
00:13:33,865 --> 00:13:35,360
Oh God.

307
00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:37,352
Oh, come on. It's not
the end of the world.

308
00:13:37,377 --> 00:13:38,827
I took a swing at my teacher

309
00:13:38,829 --> 00:13:40,245
when I was your daughter's age.

310
00:13:40,598 --> 00:13:42,662
And look at you now.

311
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,974
I just don't get it.

312
00:13:46,219 --> 00:13:49,187
For 15 years, Sarah was my little girl.

313
00:13:49,212 --> 00:13:51,162
She told me everything.

314
00:13:51,187 --> 00:13:53,520
And one day, she walks into her bedroom,

315
00:13:53,593 --> 00:13:55,310
she closes the door,

316
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,263
and I haven't seen her since.

317
00:13:57,597 --> 00:14:00,098
I got news for you, it's
only gonna get harder.

318
00:14:00,217 --> 00:14:01,575
But don't give up on her.

319
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,735
Sure, you're gonna want to
pack your bags and take off,

320
00:14:03,737 --> 00:14:05,982
leave her to fend for herself,
and who could blame you?

321
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,189
Who does that to a child?

322
00:14:09,186 --> 00:14:11,252
No one.

323
00:14:12,612 --> 00:14:15,446
You kinda sounded like
you were ready to split.

324
00:14:15,448 --> 00:14:17,499
- I just said it was hard.
- All right, all right.

325
00:14:17,501 --> 00:14:19,221
I was just working with
what you were giving me.

326
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:21,564
Another soda?

327
00:14:21,589 --> 00:14:23,422
I'm good.

328
00:14:27,697 --> 00:14:29,971
So what's to stop me from just

329
00:14:29,996 --> 00:14:31,907
making a run for it right now?

330
00:14:31,932 --> 00:14:33,515
Nothing, really.

331
00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:35,717
But it's 110 degrees out there

332
00:14:35,719 --> 00:14:37,602
and we're in the middle of nowhere.

333
00:14:37,604 --> 00:14:39,807
Right. Right.

334
00:14:50,817 --> 00:14:53,535
(cheering)

335
00:14:55,406 --> 00:14:57,039
Yo-leven! (Cheering)

336
00:15:00,327 --> 00:15:03,103
Don't you leave, sugar,
you're my good luck.

337
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,662
Let her ride!

338
00:15:04,664 --> 00:15:06,881
(cheering)

339
00:15:14,424 --> 00:15:16,507
(gasping)

340
00:15:16,509 --> 00:15:19,127
It's...

341
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,236
hot out there.

342
00:15:27,354 --> 00:15:28,780
You see any snakes?

343
00:15:28,805 --> 00:15:30,171
Six.

344
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,612
Yeah.

345
00:15:37,614 --> 00:15:39,280
Come on, baby, work with me.

346
00:15:39,282 --> 00:15:41,452
Anything but seven. Anything but seven.

347
00:15:43,370 --> 00:15:44,530
Seven out.

348
00:15:44,555 --> 00:15:48,006
No! That's my mom's bail money!

349
00:15:48,008 --> 00:15:50,375
I can give you a coupon to the buffet.

350
00:15:51,088 --> 00:15:53,297
Can I bet it?

351
00:15:56,219 --> 00:15:58,132
You are paying me a
hundred dollars an hour;

352
00:15:58,134 --> 00:15:59,934
At some point, we should
probably work on your serve.

353
00:15:59,936 --> 00:16:01,936
Oh, please, we both know

354
00:16:01,938 --> 00:16:03,771
I'm a better tennis player than you.

355
00:16:04,808 --> 00:16:06,975
(ringtone plays)

356
00:16:07,928 --> 00:16:09,478
(sighs)

357
00:16:09,613 --> 00:16:10,945
Oh, my God, what?

358
00:16:10,947 --> 00:16:13,147
I'm in the middle of a tennis lesson.

359
00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:15,533
I am so sorry, but it's an emergency.

360
00:16:15,535 --> 00:16:16,901
My mom just got arrested

361
00:16:16,903 --> 00:16:18,569
and I need to borrow two grand for bail.

362
00:16:18,571 --> 00:16:20,905
- Arrested?
- CHRISTY: Yeah.

363
00:16:20,907 --> 00:16:22,624
It happened five minutes ago.

364
00:16:22,626 --> 00:16:24,909
You're the first person
I thought of to call.

365
00:16:24,911 --> 00:16:27,578
Aw. Aw.

366
00:16:29,082 --> 00:16:31,165
Text me something about your account.

367
00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:33,251
I got to go. Bye.

368
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:38,923
This is her last year.

369
00:16:38,925 --> 00:16:40,591
She's adorable.

370
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:42,427
This is her now.

371
00:16:42,429 --> 00:16:44,606
Wow, that's a lot of eyeliner.

372
00:16:44,931 --> 00:16:47,682
Yeah, and you really notice it

373
00:16:47,684 --> 00:16:49,575
since she shaved her head.

374
00:16:50,858 --> 00:16:53,194
Uh, Christy was a pretty
difficult teenager, too,

375
00:16:53,219 --> 00:16:56,107
though... some of that was
hormones from the pregnancy.

376
00:16:56,109 --> 00:16:58,109
- Oh, God.
- Just keep trying.

377
00:16:58,111 --> 00:16:59,694
She's gonna keep pushing you away,

378
00:16:59,696 --> 00:17:01,946
but one day that bedroom
door will open again

379
00:17:01,948 --> 00:17:03,585
and she'll be glad
you're standing there.

380
00:17:03,950 --> 00:17:06,538
- I hope you're right.
- I'm always right.

381
00:17:07,647 --> 00:17:10,015
Never in a million years
would I have thought

382
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,956
I'd have such a wonderful,
loving relationship

383
00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:13,508
- with my daughter.
- CHRISTY: Mom.

384
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:14,792
Where the hell have you been?

385
00:17:14,794 --> 00:17:16,397
I thought you left me here to rot!

386
00:17:16,422 --> 00:17:17,897
Darling.

387
00:17:18,711 --> 00:17:20,210
I'm sorry.

388
00:17:20,235 --> 00:17:22,468
We'll talk about it in
the car. Pay the man.

389
00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:24,390
I can't.

390
00:17:26,468 --> 00:17:30,085
Oh, God, Christy, you
gambled Adam's money.

391
00:17:30,335 --> 00:17:32,116
- I did.
- (sighs)

392
00:17:32,141 --> 00:17:33,807
So then I called Jill.

393
00:17:33,832 --> 00:17:36,296
And you gambled Jill's money, too?

394
00:17:37,952 --> 00:17:39,951
It all happened so fast.

395
00:17:40,585 --> 00:17:43,413
I'm not sure I understand pai gow.

396
00:17:44,093 --> 00:17:47,625
So what, I'm gonna do hard
time for parking tickets?

397
00:17:47,627 --> 00:17:50,078
Yes... 'cause your daughter's a loser.

398
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,996
That's why Patrick
didn't want to be with me,

399
00:17:51,998 --> 00:17:53,664
that's why I didn't get into law school,

400
00:17:53,666 --> 00:17:55,466
that's why I hit on a soft 19.

401
00:17:55,468 --> 00:17:57,476
- Oof.
- I know, right?

402
00:17:58,691 --> 00:18:01,780
Okay. Well, what time's dinner?

403
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:04,272
You know, Bonnie,

404
00:18:04,691 --> 00:18:07,609
these computers can be a bit glitchy.

405
00:18:07,634 --> 00:18:09,514
Damn it, Gene, I've
got enough on my plate

406
00:18:09,516 --> 00:18:11,483
without worrying about your problems.

407
00:18:12,608 --> 00:18:14,569
I'm saying,

408
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,821
maybe your arrest record

409
00:18:16,823 --> 00:18:18,241
somehow disappeared.

410
00:18:18,742 --> 00:18:20,191
How about...

411
00:18:20,193 --> 00:18:22,243
you take care of your daughter,

412
00:18:22,245 --> 00:18:24,028
I'll go take care of mine?

413
00:18:24,030 --> 00:18:26,186
- Really?
- Really.

414
00:18:26,533 --> 00:18:28,199
Christy, go outside and
pull the car right up

415
00:18:28,201 --> 00:18:30,284
to the front door and
blast the air conditioning.

416
00:18:30,286 --> 00:18:31,919
That I can do.

417
00:18:31,921 --> 00:18:33,491
Watch out for snakes.

418
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:39,127
Thank you.

419
00:18:40,296 --> 00:18:41,796
And hang in there with your daughter.

420
00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:43,214
Don't be discouraged by this.

421
00:18:43,216 --> 00:18:44,432
Roger that.

422
00:18:44,936 --> 00:18:47,135
- Bonnie?
- Yeah.

423
00:18:47,137 --> 00:18:49,585
Never come back to Nevada.

424
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:52,648
I'll add it to the list.

425
00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,689
Hey, you missed the exit for the spa.

426
00:19:01,035 --> 00:19:03,368
- We can't go to the spa.
- Why not?

427
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,943
Because I don't deserve it.

428
00:19:05,923 --> 00:19:07,937
Stupid pai gow.

429
00:19:08,367 --> 00:19:10,537
I do. I'm covered in jail stink,

430
00:19:10,562 --> 00:19:11,905
and I'm getting a salt scrub.

431
00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:13,242
I don't know what it is, I may hate it,

432
00:19:13,267 --> 00:19:14,266
but I'm getting it.

433
00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:16,124
Followed by a selection
of artisanal cheeses

434
00:19:16,149 --> 00:19:17,765
I saw on the website.

435
00:19:19,438 --> 00:19:20,836
That does sound nice.

436
00:19:20,861 --> 00:19:22,528
Oh, no cheese for you.
You're staying in the room.

437
00:19:22,553 --> 00:19:24,266
You can look out the window,
but only at the parking lot,

438
00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:25,674
not at the mountain.

439
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:28,331
That seems fair.

440
00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:31,330
Okay, I'll double back.

441
00:19:36,865 --> 00:19:38,865
(siren chirps)

442
00:19:39,508 --> 00:19:40,772
Son of a bitch.

443
00:19:40,797 --> 00:19:43,298
You didn't do anything
illegal in Nevada, did you?

444
00:19:44,981 --> 00:19:46,698
I guess we're gonna find out.

445
00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:52,390
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --