1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,630
And I'll have
the southwestern salad.

2
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:05,839
But?

3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,091
No corn, no beans,
no avocado.

4
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:10,636
So a bowl of lettuce
with some cheese?

5
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:13,847
Yes, please. Pepper Jack
instead of cheddar.

6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,974
You people never disappoint.

7
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,893
Okay, we ordered.
Are you gonna

8
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:19,645
tell them your news,
or do I have to?

9
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,855
I'm not sure
it's really news.

10
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,566
That guy Wayne she met
at the sober jamboree in Canada

11
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:27,361
is coming down
for a booty call.

12
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,404
Marjorie!
Oh.
Stop.

13
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,240
Nothing's happened
between us.

14
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,575
There was just
a little energy.

15
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,452
If you get married,
I call maid of honor.

16
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,121
Why would I do that?

17
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:41,750
They've Skyped twice and
she's worn lipstick both times.

18
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,253
Oh, you do lurk a lot,
don't you?

19
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,088
More than you know.

20
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,257
Ooh, and he sent her
pictures of his dogs.

21
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,300
Oh. He's a dog person.

22
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,094
That's not bad.

23
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,721
It's a romantic comedy
waiting to happen.

24
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,391
He likes dogs,
she likes cats.

25
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,644
Meow, this relationship's
gonna be "ruff."

26
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:01,937
(laughs)

27
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:06,775
Come on! You would
see that movie.

28
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,236
So what are the sleeping
arrangements gonna be?

29
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:12,656
Settle down. It's just
gonna be dinner on Friday.

30
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,617
We all know dinner Friday
means breakfast Saturday.

31
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:18,287
I'll make you guys pancakes,
if that's not too lurky.

32
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,331
I need fries and a Diet Coke.

33
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,041
No salt,
ranch instead of ketchup.

34
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,751
I am in crisis.

35
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,211
What's going on?

36
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,462
Well, you know
how I'm hosting

37
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:28,880
that big charity event
this weekend?

38
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,716
That we're not
invited to, yes.

39
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,968
Well, come up with $1,500,
you're invited.

40
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,304
We're having a nice time here,
why you got to be mean?

41
00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:39,099
Anyway, I got out my antique
silverware to have it polished

42
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,517
and a bunch of it is missing.

43
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,644
(gasps)
Oh, sometimes
I'm positive

44
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,855
something is missing,
and I've just misplaced it.

45
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:47,899
You think I took 12 forks, eight
spoons, three knives, a ladle

46
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,235
and then absentmindedly
left them out by the pool?

47
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,154
What do you think happened?

48
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:55,157
I hate to say it, but I think
my housekeeper stole from me.

49
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:57,034
Which one?

50
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,536
I don't know, so I'm gonna
have to fire them both.

51
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,163
But not till
after the party

52
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,165
'cause they're both
really good at their jobs.

53
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:06,293
Honey, y-you don't know for sure
it was them.

54
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,712
Well, who else had
access and opportunity?

55
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,799
Be right back, Jill.

56
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,719
I'm just, uh,
looking for some tea.

57
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,440
Oh! God.

58
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,197
I just flashed on Marjorie
and Wayne making out.

59
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,199
(chuckling):
Why would I do that?

60
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,640
Hey, how are you doing?

61
00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:18,070
What-what are you doing?

62
00:03:18,070 --> 00:03:19,570
Reading about a farmer

63
00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:22,570
who sued a railroad in 1897.

64
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,330
It's a lot more boring
than it sounds.

65
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,080
Ha! Good one.

66
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:35,040
Is this for the, uh, class with
that lady professor that yells?

67
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,420
It's weird. I feel like
she's so much harder

68
00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:39,260
on the women than the men.

69
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,970
Maybe she's trying
to make us stronger

70
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:43,590
so we can take on
the patriarchy.

71
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:46,390
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
I stole the silverware.

72
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,350
What?

73
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:52,770
Jill's silverware.
Five years ago. Me.

74
00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:55,480
How could you do that?
We were practically homeless.

75
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,480
And in my defense, I had no idea

76
00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,150
we were gonna like her
as much as we do.

77
00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:02,450
Why didn't you tell me?

78
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:04,450
I forgot.
You forgot?

79
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,700
You know that thing I do
when I'm ashamed of something

80
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:09,160
I've done, I shove it way down
until I forget about it?

81
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,160
I did that with this.

82
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,910
You're unbelievable.

83
00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:15,630
It was a long time ago.
I was barely sober.

84
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,750
And let's be honest,
I stole from everybody.

85
00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,130
Everybody?

86
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,470
No.

87
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,640
Well, you got to tell Jill.

88
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,260
You're right, you're right,
you're right.

89
00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:30,640
I'm thinking a sealed letter
she can open after I die.

90
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,480
Maybe a series of cryptic clues.

91
00:04:35,190 --> 00:04:38,650
Could be fun for all ages
at my funeral.

92
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,610
(groans)

93
00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:43,610
Hey, everyone's up.

94
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:45,280
What's going on?

95
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,950
I just remembered I stole
a bunch of silverware

96
00:04:46,950 --> 00:04:48,280
from Jill five years ago.

97
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,830
Okay, good night.

98
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:53,160
See? He gets me.

99
00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:58,630
Well, if you don't
have blue hydrangeas,

100
00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:00,250
why would you let me
order 12 arrangements

101
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,880
featuring blue hydrangeas?

102
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,550
(softly):
Come on in.

103
00:05:03,550 --> 00:05:07,340
(gasps) You did not just
say carnations to me.

104
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,760
This is a benefit,
not an Appalachian prom.

105
00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:14,640
Ooh, I tell you what,

106
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,100
I'm gonna take some
deep cleansing breaths

107
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,770
while you have somebody
with a tiny shred

108
00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:19,520
of floral imagination
call me.

109
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,270
Ooh!
I swear to God,

110
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:23,400
saving these little
diabetes kids is gonna kill me.

111
00:05:25,070 --> 00:05:28,200
You are such a good person
to be doing this.

112
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,620
Yeah, well, tell that
to Melanie Kirkpatrick.

113
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:32,910
She's head of the
event committee at my club.

114
00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:35,330
She did not
want me hosting this.

115
00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:37,210
She's still not
over the time I got drunk

116
00:05:37,210 --> 00:05:41,000
and set the lobsters free at the
charity clambake. (laughs)

117
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,380
Dinner and a show.
She should be thanking you.

118
00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,510
Oh, I just really
need it to go well

119
00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:50,640
so I can get back
on the A-list.

120
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,350
And the kids.
And the kids.

121
00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:54,220
It's gonna be a huge success,

122
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,730
they're gonna donate
a lot of money,

123
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,890
everybody's gonna love you,

124
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,390
I stole your silverware.

125
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:03,070
What... what was that?

126
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:05,440
Huge success, lot of money,
everyone loves you.

127
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,650
I think that was it.

128
00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:09,070
You stole it?

129
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:11,820
I was desperate.
I did a terrible thing.

130
00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,490
But you and I are in a program

131
00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:15,040
where everyone
has made huge mistakes,

132
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,330
and this is me owning up to one.

133
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:19,120
I'm-I'm truly, truly sorry.

134
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,750
That silverware's been
in my family for 150 years.

135
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,420
My great-grandmother
gave it to my grandmother

136
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:26,710
who gave it to my mother
who gave it to me,

137
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:28,300
and they're all dead now.

138
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,970
Sounds like maybe it was cursed.

139
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:36,310
That silverware is all I had
that connected me to them.

140
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:39,850
Oh. Um, I didn't know
it was that important.

141
00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:41,770
Well, maybe you should have
asked me before you stole it

142
00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:43,310
so I could have
directed you to something

143
00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:44,940
less emotionally resonant.

144
00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:46,860
Jill...
Just leave.

145
00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:49,110
Oh, come on, I'll do anything
to make this right.

146
00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:50,110
Go! Now.

147
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,410
Okay, fine.

148
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,450
Please tell me

149
00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:56,040
that wasn't your
grandmother's.

150
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,500
No, it was Crate & Barrel.

151
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,830
But I liked it!

152
00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:09,260
Hey, Marjorie,
how's it going in there?

153
00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:11,260
MARJORIE:
Oh, I don't know why

154
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,550
I'm getting so excited
for this date.

155
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,470
The man lives
in Canada,

156
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:18,640
and you know I hate winter,
so I can't move there.

157
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,310
He loves winter,
she loves summer,

158
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:24,480
but will they fall in love?

159
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,690
Oh, would you like me to set up
a dressing room for you?

160
00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:29,990
Oh, no, no, no,
I'm only 40.

161
00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:33,160
Um, feel it.

162
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,780
Fine.
(chuckles)

163
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,040
Oh, mama.

164
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,000
Do you have an extra small?

165
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,500
I'm sure I do.

166
00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:46,670
(sighs)

167
00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:49,710
Oh, Marjorie,
you look beautiful.

168
00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:53,090
Well... not bad
for an old broad.

169
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,550
(chuckles)
(scoffs)

170
00:07:54,550 --> 00:07:57,600
Look around. In this
place, not so old.

171
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,680
You're in luck.

172
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,100
What do you think--

173
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:05,310
should I take off my ring

174
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,570
before I go on the date?

175
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,940
Do you feel ready?

176
00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:11,400
Been two years.

177
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,450
Yeah, I think if I'm asking
the question, I'm ready.

178
00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:17,700
Victor, I love you,

179
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:20,580
and I'm grateful
for the time we shared

180
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,870
and...

181
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,880
taking this off
will never change that.

182
00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:29,210
That was beautiful.

183
00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:30,800
(chuckles)

184
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,380
Mine. Back off.

185
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:41,890
That's a new look
for you.

186
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:47,360
I went shopping with Marjorie
and this caught my eye.

187
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,610
Where'd you go,
Forever 71?

188
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:53,530
Touch it, go ahead,
touch it.

189
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,400
Ooh. Is this happening
on the inside too?

190
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,950
Yes, it's like
I'm wearing a kitten.

191
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,580
Hi, Jill.

192
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,370
Hi Wendy, Christy,
Tammy, Bonnie.

193
00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:04,710
(clears throat)
How's Clyde?

194
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,250
Bonnie and Clyde.
They were robbers.

195
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:10,170
She's a robber.
They're all robbers.

196
00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:12,590
(laughs)

197
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,550
I'm trying to cut
the tension, laugh it up.

198
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,010
No, this is good,
she's making jokes about me.

199
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:20,010
It means she's over it.

200
00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:22,310
I'm not over it.
(singsongy):
But you're getting close.

201
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:24,100
(singsongy): No, I'm not.
(singsongy):
But you're singing with me.

202
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:26,440
(singsongy): I can sing and
still hate you at the same time.

203
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,110
You know, if Marjorie
were here...

204
00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:33,650
I thought she was.

205
00:09:33,650 --> 00:09:36,450
Don't listen.
You're awesome.

206
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,490
In my defense,

207
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,280
I didn't know I was gonna
like you as much as I do.

208
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:45,200
Does she not hear
how that sounds?

209
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,790
Let's just talk it out.

210
00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,960
I mean, look how much
I've forgiven Bonnie for.

211
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,460
Introducing me
to drugs,

212
00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:52,040
getting me kicked out
of our foster home...

213
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,210
I forgive her every day
for the bullying.

214
00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,300
And we're in an
anti-bullying era.

215
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,510
Guys?
My childhood.

216
00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,300
Thanks for playing.

217
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,680
See?

218
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,470
If Leisure World over here
can forgive me,

219
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,720
anyone can forgive me.

220
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:05,980
Yeah, well, I'm not gonna.

221
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,480
Jill, I screwed up.

222
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:08,810
But I was
a different person then.

223
00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:10,310
I'm really sorry.

224
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,480
Excuse me, I have to
go to the ladies'.

225
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,740
(Bonnie scoffs)

226
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:19,240
Seriously? She thinks I'm gonna
steal out of her purse?

227
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,570
Well, there are consequences
when you steal from someone.

228
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:25,160
Mine was seven years in prison,
yours is an awkward lunch.

229
00:10:34,290 --> 00:10:35,670
COMMENTATOR:
What a hit!

230
00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:37,550
(crowd roars)

231
00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:42,220
Pass intercepted!

232
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:44,220
Do you need me to talk you down
or just get out of the way?

233
00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:45,930
Talk me down.

234
00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:48,270
Really? 'Cause this
is a live sporting event.

235
00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:49,980
There's...
O-Okay. Okay.

236
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,770
Give me the facts.
I have apologized my
butt off to Jill

237
00:10:54,770 --> 00:10:57,530
about the silverware, and she
still treats me like a criminal.

238
00:10:57,530 --> 00:10:58,940
Well, technically, you d...

239
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,780
Uh, okay.

240
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:02,860
How about this?

241
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:04,740
Uh...

242
00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:07,030
just because you're ready
to be forgiven

243
00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:10,120
doesn't mean that
she's ready to forgive.

244
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,000
I think you should
give her time.

245
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,170
Ugh. I could get better advice
from a clock.

246
00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:16,340
I have to fix this.

247
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:17,630
I don't think you can.

248
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:18,800
Oh, yeah?

249
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:24,050
Watch me, clock.

250
00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,310
That was just for dramatic
effect. I have nowhere to go.

251
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:40,570
Do you know what my favorite
part of the conference was?

252
00:11:40,570 --> 00:11:42,650
When I fell on my ass
in the snow

253
00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:45,570
and you stopped me from
going after the kid who laughed?

254
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,580
(chuckling)
It was funny

255
00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,410
when he took a
snowball to the face.

256
00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:51,410
Yeah.
(chuckles)

257
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,620
You got a pretty good arm.

258
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:56,170
Can I tell you
about our specials?
Oh.

259
00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:58,290
Uh, no, thanks,
we're just having coffee.

260
00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:02,590
Yes.

261
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:04,510
Coffee.

262
00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:06,260
Yeah, two coffees.

263
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,220
I actually have dinner plans
after this.

264
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:10,350
Yes. So do I.

265
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:13,940
That's why I'm so dressed up.
Who'd wear velvet to coffee?

266
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:21,900
How'd the date go?

267
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,530
Can you not stop smiling?

268
00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:25,860
Okay.
You're not smiling.

269
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,740
Did you just now
stop smiling?

270
00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:30,700
Turns out it was
coffee, not a date.

271
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:34,160
Oh. Sorry.
Been there.

272
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,710
Once, I thought
I was on a date,

273
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:39,590
but turns out it was
a dentist appointment.

274
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:43,260
Well, obviously, Wayne
just wants to be friends.

275
00:12:43,260 --> 00:12:45,880
Dr. Gann
just wanted me to floss.

276
00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:51,220
But I-I thought that Wayne
came here to see you?

277
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:53,520
No, he's here on business.

278
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,230
I'm the one who built it up

279
00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:57,440
because I'm a
ridiculous old woman.

280
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,480
I don't like it when my mother
calls you that,

281
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,980
and I don't like it
when you do it.

282
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:04,070
I've never been
so humiliated.

283
00:13:04,070 --> 00:13:06,110
Really?

284
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:09,530
'Cause, for a couple of years,
your address was

285
00:13:09,530 --> 00:13:11,620
"cardboard box."

286
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:15,410
All right, well, this
was a close runner-up.

287
00:13:15,410 --> 00:13:17,040
Here's the good news:

288
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,750
you got excited
about someone,

289
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:20,960
which means you are ready
to get out there.

290
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,840
And that means
you're gonna get out there,

291
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,340
and that means
you're gonna find someone.

292
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:26,340
You know what?

293
00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:28,090
I'm really fine
being alone.

294
00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:30,430
I'm a lot like
you in that way.

295
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:33,890
I tried to kiss my dentist.

296
00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:35,310
You think I'm fine being alone?

297
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,520
What you watching?

298
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,940
My house.

299
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,820
What's it doing?

300
00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:44,730
It's bustling with caterers
and florists and delivery guys,

301
00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:46,610
and now, because of your mother,

302
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:49,030
I can't stop obsessing over
what they might be stealing.

303
00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:50,700
They're not stealing.
They're working.

304
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:53,160
Mm. Already saw
one guy help himself

305
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,040
to an ice cream sandwich
from my freezer.

306
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,620
(chuckles)
Joke's on you, sir.

307
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,290
Those are two years old
and made with hemp milk.

308
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:01,710
Hey, don't you spit that
on my floor.

309
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,290
That stone is porous!

310
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:06,010
(indistinct conversation)

311
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:07,840
Oh, no.

312
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,930
What?
Wayne's here.

313
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,590
I told him about
this meeting.

314
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:13,470
I didn't think
he'd come.

315
00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:14,810
That's your Wayne?
(Marjorie sighs)

316
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:16,220
He's hot.

317
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,230
Yeah. He's my hot,
platonic friend.

318
00:14:18,230 --> 00:14:19,480
Wasn't a date.

319
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:20,980
Oh.
Oh.

320
00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:23,230
Hi, Wayne.
Hey, Marjorie.

321
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,690
I, uh, saved you
a seat next to me.

322
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:28,650
(chuckles): Oh. Sorry, I
always sit with my girls.

323
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:30,150
These are my girls.

324
00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:31,530
Say hi, girls.

325
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:32,820
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.

326
00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:34,410
Hi, girls.
(chuckles)

327
00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,160
Marjorie, come here.

328
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,830
There's a guy I
want you to meet.

329
00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:40,830
Don't help me.

330
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:43,830
ALL:
...and the wisdom
to know the difference.

331
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:52,220
Well, Wayne, it was
great to see you again.

332
00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:53,390
Safe travels.

333
00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:54,720
Actually, I was wondering

334
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,350
what you were doing
after the meeting.

335
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:59,560
Oh, I think I've
had enough coffee.

336
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,020
Look, I'm sorry
about the other night.

337
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:06,400
I really wanted it
to be more, but...

338
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,400
I got cold feet.

339
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,530
(chuckles)
You did?

340
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:14,160
Yeah, my wife died
a year and a half ago.

341
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,540
Sometimes it feels like
a long time.

342
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,750
Sometimes it really doesn't.

343
00:15:22,790 --> 00:15:24,580
Ooh, I understand that.

344
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:27,290
And I haven't been on a date
for 40 years, so I...

345
00:15:27,290 --> 00:15:29,130
I have no idea
what I'm doing.
Well,

346
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:30,630
why didn't you tell me?

347
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,090
Because I haven't been
on a date for 40 years.

348
00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:35,220
And the feet-- cold.

349
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:36,390
(chuckles)

350
00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:39,350
How are the feet
feeling now?

351
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:41,230
Want to give it
another try?

352
00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:43,560
Yeah, I-I would like that.

353
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,770
Oh.

354
00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:48,230
Hey, Marjorie.

355
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:53,400
This guy over there is
asking me for your number.

356
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,820
So...
(chuckles)
Well, tell him thank you,

357
00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:58,120
but Wayne and I
are going out to dinner.

358
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,660
Oh, my God,
that's so great.

359
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,620
There's no guy.

360
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,590
Oh, good. You're
still here.
Oh.

361
00:16:07,590 --> 00:16:09,840
I was just leaving.
Got to make sure

362
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,960
my bartender doesn't steal
my jewelry, thanks to you.

363
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,590
Please, just give me one minute.

364
00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:15,380
Where were you? You
missed the meeting.

365
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,930
I got caught in traffic
driving back from San Francisco,

366
00:16:17,930 --> 00:16:19,430
where I was able to track down

367
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,810
some very similar pieces
of silverware--

368
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:23,890
not as old but not new--

369
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:26,270
that definitely belonged
to someone's grandmother,

370
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:29,320
which I hope you will accept
with my deepest apologies.

371
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,860
Boy, you went to a lot
of trouble, Bonnie.

372
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,650
Jill, didn't Bonnie go
to a lot of trouble?

373
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,160
Sorry.
I gave it a shot.

374
00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:40,120
Come on.
Please take it.

375
00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:48,380
Shelby, you just moved
into a new place, right? Enjoy.

376
00:16:51,050 --> 00:16:53,130
Hey. Give that back.

377
00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:58,300
Biscotti... go.

378
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,140
Crème brûlée... go.

379
00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:02,310
Flourless chocolate
cake... hold!

380
00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:05,560
Go.

381
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,230
Go, go, go!

382
00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:08,940
Oh, God, I know

383
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,360
you probably have
more important things to do,

384
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,320
but please
just get me through dessert

385
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,150
and coffee and saying goodbye
to people whose names I forgot.

386
00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:17,360
There you are.

387
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:20,070
Melanie.
Is everything okay?

388
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:21,910
You know, Jill, when the
committee selected you

389
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:23,620
to host this event,
I had my doubts,

390
00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:26,000
which I expressed
passionately.

391
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,250
Yeah.
You included me on the text.

392
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:32,420
I just had a hard time imagining
this not being a disaster.

393
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:34,590
But look. You're
still dressed,

394
00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:36,760
and no one slipped
in your vomit.

395
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,760
Yeah, yay for me.

396
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,850
And... I'm not
that person anymore.

397
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:44,720
No, you're not.

398
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,230
And I need to stop judging
you on who you used to be.

399
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:51,060
Thank you.
That means a lot.

400
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:52,860
Clear your April,

401
00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:55,530
'cause we've got AIDS
and leukemia coming up.

402
00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:58,860
Oh, I'd be thrilled
to get either!

403
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,450
Yes!
I am back, baby.

404
00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:04,450
(knocking)

405
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,580
Oh. Hello.

406
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:14,880
I'm here to make
a formal apology.

407
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,460
Well, you're certainly
dressed for it.

408
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:23,470
Listen...

409
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:26,100
I realized a couple
of things tonight.

410
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:29,440
One: no one
likes salmon toast but me.

411
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,270
And two:

412
00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:34,520
I don't want to be judged
on who I used to be, and...

413
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,400
that's exactly what
I've been doing to you.

414
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,110
I'm so sorry for being an idiot.

415
00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,070
Oh, you weren't.
I broke your trust.

416
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:43,070
I know earning that back
is gonna take time.

417
00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:44,910
Not as long as you think.

418
00:18:44,910 --> 00:18:46,200
Come here.

419
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:50,660
And for the record,

420
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:52,880
I didn't expect
to like you, either.

421
00:18:58,090 --> 00:18:59,760
Aw!

422
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,720
Oh, good God!

423
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,600
How many of those things
did you buy?

424
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,640
I don't have a man!

425
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,230
(gasps)

426
00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:19,990
What?

427
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:22,240
I just remembered.
I stole $20 out of your wallet

428
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:23,820
the first time
we slept together.

429
00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:26,910
Oh. Okay.

430
00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:31,620
(gasps)
What?

431
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:33,250
And the second time.

432
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:36,000
Okay.