1
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:09,835
Previously onMom...

2
00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:11,141
[laughs]:
Oh!

3
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,490
Oh. Uh, too rough?

4
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,318
No. This would be too rough.

5
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,059
Ow! [growls]

6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:18,061
Best date I ever had.

7
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,584
I need to break up with him.

8
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:23,066
I have one more daffodil
hidden somewhere on my body.

9
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,633
Care to lead the
search party?

10
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,330
Rudy, we need to talk.

11
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:30,334
RUDY:
No...!

12
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:32,771
♪

13
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,121
[sighs]

14
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,818
Look at us.

15
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,211
[chuckles]

16
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:38,473
What?

17
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:39,865
Look at us.

18
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:42,303
Who's better than us?

19
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,782
Uh...

20
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:46,089
I mean, missionaries,
I guess.

21
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,700
I don't know, I don't know.
Where are you going with this?

22
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:51,007
We are so
mentally healthy.

23
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,705
We are so dogged in our
pursuit of better-ness.

24
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:56,186
I feel like I'm getting set up
for a favor.

25
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,188
Do you need
your feet pumiced again?

26
00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,190
I just mean, here I am,
dropping you off

27
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:03,367
at your Al-Anon meeting,
en route to my AA meeting.

28
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:06,196
So again I say,
who's better than us?

29
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,068
[chuckles]

30
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,983
People who don't need those
meetings in the first place?

31
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:13,595
But who else?

32
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:14,770
No one.

33
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,772
There you go.
[chuckles]
Ah. [laughs]

34
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:22,604
So... do you
talk about me?

35
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:27,565
Well, it is an Al-Anon meeting,
and you're my Al.

36
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:30,264
So, uh, yeah, yeah, you come up.

37
00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,570
And do you speak well of me?

38
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:34,572
Yes, Bonnie,
I'm the only person in there

39
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,574
whose alcoholic is perfect.

40
00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:37,793
[chuckles]

41
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:40,796
Okay, but I'm
not the worst.
No, no.

42
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:43,494
Was that a genuine "no"
or a sarcastic "no"?

43
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:46,193
It's whatever you want it to be.

44
00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:47,368
Again...

45
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,370
[singsongy]:
who's better than us.

46
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,023
[both chuckle]

47
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:54,766
Who's that?

48
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,420
That's Sam, my sponsor.

49
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:58,248
Your sponsor
wears suspenders?

50
00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:00,076
No wonder his
wife drinks.

51
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,382
ADAM:
No, that's Carl.

52
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,906
Sam's standing next
to him, smoking.

53
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,953
That's Sam?

54
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,477
Yeah.

55
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,088
The same Sam you've been talking
about for three months?

56
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,785
Yeah. Yeah.

57
00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:18,007
So the "antha" is silent.

58
00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,489
Any chance
we could all be?

59
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:25,145
♪

60
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,168
Found him!

61
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:53,173
What are you doing in
here for 20 minutes?

62
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,304
We're backed up.

63
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:57,264
Waiters are cooking
their own orders.

64
00:02:57,307 --> 00:03:00,484
I came in for an onion
but got lost in my memories.

65
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,791
Oh, I don't need to hear it.

66
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:05,054
This is where Tammy and I
shared our first kiss.

67
00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:06,534
And our last kiss.

68
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,231
Oh, God.

69
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,233
Does she ever talk
about me at all?

70
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:12,366
How about we talk and cook?

71
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,715
Talk and cook!No, no, no.

72
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,673
Could you text her for me?

73
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,414
Huh? Tell her
I'm miserable without her.

74
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,938
No, that sounds weak.
Tell her I'm in play.

75
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:22,506
No, just tell her I'm fine
with whatever she wants.

76
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:25,248
No big whoop either way.

77
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,858
"Rudy says hi."

78
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:30,079
Ah, subtle. Well played.
Shocking you're a spinster.

79
00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:34,866
Did she text back yet?

80
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,041
No.
Oh.

81
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,565
How about now?
No!

82
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,393
Oh. Now?
You would hear it!

83
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:40,698
Well, I thought
maybe it happened

84
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:41,873
when I was saying, "Now?"

85
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:45,225
[phone chimes]Ooh, bingo.

86
00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:48,750
Mm. Some ass named Roscoe said
he got an "A" in English.

87
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,708
Oh, give me that!

88
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,674
How was your meeting?

89
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,545
Good. Yours?

90
00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,068
Good. Good.

91
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,679
Did you share?

92
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,333
I did.

93
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,335
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

94
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:12,339
And did you talk about
Sam having a vagina?

95
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:16,560
No, but I did talk about
how this ride was gonna go,

96
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,476
and so far,
I was right on the money.

97
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,305
Oh, is it not going well
for you? 'Cause I'm fine.

98
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:25,265
Oh, come on, Bonnie.
So what if Sam's a woman?

99
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,571
I just find it curious
you never told me.

100
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,181
I didn't even think about it
at first,

101
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,705
and then the longer
I didn't tell you,

102
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,576
the weirder I felt
about saying something.

103
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:33,751
You know,

104
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,927
I missed my window.

105
00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:38,582
Like the guy at the deli,
who still gets my name wrong.

106
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:40,976
I should've corrected him
the second time, but I didn't.

107
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:44,501
So now I'm forever
"Beef Baloney Dan."

108
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,242
[laughs]

109
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,288
Who's better than us?

110
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,772
You listen to me,
Mr. Adam Janikowski.

111
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,121
You cannot just sit there
and pretend

112
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,384
this is not a big deal!

113
00:04:58,472 --> 00:04:59,995
No, no, I'm talking!

114
00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:03,912
You obviously kept her a secret

115
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,870
because you have feelings
for her.

116
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:08,003
Oh, that is such a lie!

117
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,269
Oh, nice try, nice try.
We're not changing the subject.

118
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,792
Oh, and of course she smokes.

119
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:18,056
"Who's hotter than me?
Me, who smokes."

120
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,798
Are we gonna start
smoking again?

121
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,627
Well, I should, because
apparently it turns Adam on.

122
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,847
So it's yes?
'Cause the off-brand gas station

123
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:28,371
is still open, and they're
50 cents a pack cheaper there.

124
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,852
Give me eight bucks,
I can make this happen.

125
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,984
We're not smoking.
I'm just pissed at Adam,

126
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:35,160
who's sleeping like he doesn't
have a problem in the world.

127
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:38,816
[quietly]:
Well, you do, buddy!
You got a big, fat problem!

128
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,427
Oh, I get it.

129
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,342
You're in a
whisper fight.

130
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,169
I used to do that with you
all the time.

131
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:45,170
Deal me in.

132
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:48,478
His Al-Anon sponsor is a woman.

133
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:49,479
Sam?

134
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:51,351
"...antha."

135
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,875
Like in,
"Meanwhile, across town,

136
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:57,531
Samantha was flat on her back
in the Flatiron District."

137
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,489
[groans]:
Oh.

138
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,230
I so miss
Sex and the City.

139
00:06:01,273 --> 00:06:03,493
And sex.

140
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:09,238
I'm gonna miss sex with Adam
when he leaves me for Samantha.

141
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,327
I'll still have sex,
but I'll miss Adam.

142
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:15,070
Sorry, I just don't see
what's so bad.

143
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,811
My G.A. sponsor is a guy.

144
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:20,249
Yeah, uh, I've seen him.
Least sexy guy on the planet.

145
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,425
I'm up against
Angie frickin' Dickinson.

146
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:23,644
Who's that?

147
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:26,168
Oh, for God's sake!

148
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:28,344
Just go to bed.

149
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,826
So... it's definitely a no
on the smoking?

150
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:35,046
Look, if I'm divorced
by the weekend, we can smoke.

151
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,744
I like my chances.

152
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:40,008
I might buy a lighter.

153
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,495
What are you doing?

154
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:51,236
Chef Rudy asked me to
take pictures of you.

155
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,413
I get bonus points
if your mouth is open.

156
00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:00,550
That is super creepy.

157
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,160
Why'd you say yes?

158
00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:03,901
I actually feel
sorry for the guy.

159
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,338
He talks about you.
He cries about you.

160
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,906
He yells your name when
he's pounding the veal.

161
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,865
Ew!

162
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,345
No, literally, we
serve a lot of veal.

163
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:16,174
Then my plan is working.

164
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,437
What plan?

165
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,091
Love is a game, Christy,
and I'm great at it.

166
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:21,484
I thought you didn't
want to have

167
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,572
a relationship
with Chef Rudy.

168
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:23,965
I thought I didn't either,

169
00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,836
and then, last Tuesday night
around 10:00, I did.

170
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,751
So I butt-dialed him
with my fingers

171
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:30,493
and made sounds like
I was taking a bubble bath.

172
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,061
Wait, hang on.
What would that sound like?

173
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,279
Mm.

174
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,065
[giddy laughing]

175
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,807
Oh!

176
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:44,333
You couldn't do that
with your own glass?

177
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,598
I don't get
playing games.

178
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,470
When I like a guy,
I just tell him.

179
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,297
OTHERS:
Oh!

180
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,952
What? Men
appreciate honesty.

181
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:58,086
OTHERS:
Oh!

182
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:01,176
For God's sake, Christy,
you don't give away the mystery.

183
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,873
I was a stripper.

184
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:06,616
I've been giving away
the mystery since I was 18.

185
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:09,706
Even I played a little
hard-to-get with Victor.

186
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,404
Took him a while to tug down
those sweatpants, huh?

187
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:19,107
Oh, don't look now, but
your plans just walked in

188
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,804
and is acting
surprised to see us.

189
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:24,504
You know who isn't surprised:
the puppet master.

190
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,636
Tammy! Ah, is that you?

191
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,378
Tammy, what a strange
coincidence.

192
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,728
Ah, to think that I would
run into you here,

193
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:34,992
at the, uh... Burgundy Bistro.

194
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:39,649
Yes, I've been meaning to try
their, uh... oh...

195
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:41,521
three-bean chili.

196
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,697
Chili, coming up.Ooh. Right.

197
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,308
Well, I hope you don't mind
if I sit at this table

198
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,918
adjacent to your own.

199
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,704
[loudly]:
So, anyway, I've got dates
with both Ricardo

200
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:51,879
and Brad tonight.

201
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,533
I mean, I love
Ricardo's fire,

202
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:56,057
but Brad does manage
a LensCrafters.

203
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,975
Oh, what to do?
Mm.

204
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,588
Not sure, but first I'm off
to wax Downtown Disney,

205
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:08,591
'cause someone's getting
in my tea cup tonight.

206
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,596
Here's your chili.

207
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,599
Good Lord, has someone
already eaten this?

208
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,604
Are you primping?

209
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:22,997
Is there someone here
worth primping for?

210
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:26,391
Owen.

211
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:29,525
Hit bottom last year
on vodka and Mountain Dew.

212
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,789
Ah, he is cute.
How you gonna blow it?

213
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,835
I am not gonna blow it.

214
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,576
I'm gonna be
the puppet master.

215
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,360
Oh. Go get 'em, tiger.

216
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:39,883
Oh, I'm gonna get him.

217
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:43,713
I'm gonna get him so good he's
not gonna know what got him.

218
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:47,325
Like a sexy sex ninja.

219
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:48,849
Just watch and learn.

220
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:51,025
Oh, I'm gonna watch.

221
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:54,245
Hey, Christy,
looking for a seat?

222
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:56,291
[scoffs]
No.

223
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,775
And the game is on.

224
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:04,865
Is it, though?

225
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:07,128
Oh, really, Adam? How would
you like it if I sponsored

226
00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:08,608
one of the cute guys in here?

227
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,045
[sighs]
Will you stop that?

228
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,655
Tell him. He's the one
who won't let it go.

229
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,526
You know you look crazy.

230
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:17,312
Yeah. People on the street
were trying to give you change.

231
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:19,967
One quarter. Relax.

232
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:23,535
It doesn't matter who Adam
is hearing the message from,

233
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:25,668
as long as he's hearing
the message.

234
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,322
My first sponsor was a guy.

235
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,106
Yeah, but back then,
there were only three people

236
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,455
in the program.

237
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,501
[scoffs]
She's old.

238
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,722
Look at Owen ignoring me.

239
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,115
He's good, but I'm better.

240
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,074
[phone chimes]

241
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:43,512
Oh. Guess who just sent
me a TikTok video?

242
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:46,776
A 12-year-old
you met at the mall?

243
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:50,127
Hi, Tammy. Ticktock. Ticktock.

244
00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:52,695
[groans]
Paul, explain this to me again.

245
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,219
I don't think I'm getting it.
Am I supposed to move?

246
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:58,266
[stammers]
Ticktock. Ticktock.

247
00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,268
Oh, no! Don't press send!

248
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,313
That was painful.

249
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:05,142
[sighs]
In a super hot way.

250
00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:08,102
I'm gonna watch it again--
by myself, if you don't mind.

251
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,191
[grunts softly]

252
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,628
Wow, guy! No means no!

253
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:17,024
[mouthing]

254
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:20,244
How did that girl
ever get married?

255
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,290
Drugs were involved.

256
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,034
She was out in
the living room

257
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:28,209
whisper-fighting
with me all night.

258
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:30,385
Why didn't you
go talk to her?

259
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,822
Because I have a better chance
of winning if I'm not there.

260
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,868
[laughs]

261
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:38,219
Come on, Adam. Don't you think
you might owe Bonnie an amends?

262
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:39,655
What am I supposed to say?

263
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,831
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
that Sam was a woman?

264
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:45,574
Thanks, Adam. I appreciate you
validating my feelings.

265
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,228
What was that?

266
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,230
I'm being Bonnie.

267
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:51,711
[sputters]
Not even close.

268
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,843
First you got to make fun
of my hair.

269
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:54,888
What's wrong with your hair?

270
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,585
Thank you. Also,

271
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:59,327
it's louder, it's scarier
and more arm waving.

272
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,981
And if I make a good point,

273
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:03,766
you got to bring up something
that I did wrong two years ago.

274
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:07,378
Okay, so-so maybe just stop
at "I'm sorry."

275
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,119
Just "I'm sorry"?
I'm allowed to do that?

276
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,120
Sure.

277
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,469
No, I'm asking Bonnie.

278
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:12,949
Am I allowed to do that?

279
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:14,429
Oh, um...

280
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:17,301
Do whatever you want, Fluffy!

281
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:23,046
That was good, but you got
to get on your chair.Oh.

282
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,092
Yeah. Okay.

283
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,491
I traded up.

284
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:37,626
Bonnie, I should've told you
that Sam was a woman.

285
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:38,932
I was wrong,

286
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,021
and...

287
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:42,849
I'm sorry.

288
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:47,984
And that's it.

289
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,553
Gus, you're out.

290
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:55,818
Daddy's home and he's singing
the sweet, sweet music.

291
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,124
So, we're good?

292
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,952
Yeah. And I'm sorry, too.

293
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,823
I should've stayed
out of your program.

294
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,825
It's definitely working for you.
For us.

295
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,348
It is. It is.

296
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,221
So you're cool with me
having her as a sponsor?

297
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,049
Couldn't be cooler. In fact,
it's great she's a woman.

298
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,702
She'll help you understand me.

299
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:13,444
She already has. She's the one
that suggested I say I'm sorry.

300
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,620
Oh?

301
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,494
That was Sam's idea?

302
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,843
Yeah, she dropped
by the bar today

303
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,366
and she talked me through it.

304
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,457
Oh. She dropped by the bar?

305
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,459
Yeah.

306
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:31,680
How often does
she drop by the bar?

307
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,379
When she's in the neighborhood.

308
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,818
So she drops by the bar

309
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,516
when she's in the neighborhood.

310
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,605
Mm-hmm.

311
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:46,608
And does she have a drink
when she drops by the bar

312
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,305
'cause she's
in the neighborhood?

313
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,525
Oh, God.

314
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,527
You are so naive!

315
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,181
I work a lot,

316
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,530
and it's on her way home.

317
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,010
It's totally innocent.

318
00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:58,359
No, you're totally innocent.

319
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,361
This is exactly like
two years ago

320
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:03,364
with the thing when I was right.

321
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:07,063
W-W-Wait, d-don't you meet
Marjorie at the bistro?

322
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:10,240
Yes, where we sip soup loudly
in a brightly lit setting.

323
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,677
Marjorie's got a napkin tucked
into her collar like a bib.

324
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:15,158
Is that what Sam's doing?
She got a bib tucked in there?

325
00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:17,204
Or is she sipping a Pinot
and sucking on her cigarette

326
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,771
like it's, you know,
not a cigarette?

327
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:22,383
I can't believe
you don't trust me.

328
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:23,950
Oh, I trust you.
I don't trust her.

329
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,081
[stammers]
You don't even know her!

330
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,953
Oh, I know her. I am her.

331
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,390
Or I was her.
And I could still be her.

332
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:32,610
But because of you,
I'm me and she's her!

333
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,397
Wait. Wait, wait.
You have a male therapist

334
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,312
who you meet alone in his house.

335
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:39,835
Do I say anything about that?

336
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,837
Well, maybe you should.Uh-- Wait, what?

337
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,447
No. He's a mess.

338
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,233
You know, Sam
is helping me,

339
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,756
and that's all
that should matter.

340
00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:50,106
Gus, you're back in!

341
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:59,420
If I just put my head in this
pot, it would all be over.

342
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:05,556
Hey. Table four would like
to personally thank you

343
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,254
for their branzino.

344
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,821
Oh, would they?
Don't they know I'm in pain?

345
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:13,042
Did they really like it?

346
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:15,001
Yes. And they want to tell you.

347
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:18,700
Have some Purell
waiting for me when I return.

348
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,055
Hello, Tammy.

349
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,230
Hello, Rudy.

350
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:29,798
What are you doing here?

351
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,800
I miss you.

352
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,889
I miss you, too.

353
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,109
In case you couldn't tell from
the texts and the click-clock.

354
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,806
[laughs]

355
00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,286
I loved your video.

356
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:40,374
You did?[laughs]:
Yeah.

357
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:41,679
Why didn't you tell me?

358
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,464
Well, a gal likes
to keep a guy guessing.

359
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:44,856
You know, it's part of the game.

360
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,249
Oh, the-the game?

361
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,816
Yeah, you know,
the game, the dance.

362
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:50,471
How I worked you up,
pretending not to be interested.

363
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:52,995
Oh, uh-- wh...

364
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,519
So, you were playing me?

365
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:56,956
All in fun.

366
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,262
Oh, there was
nothing fun about it.

367
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,481
You tortured me.

368
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,874
Only so we could get here, now.

369
00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:06,661
Tammy, I'm a person.
I have feelings.

370
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:09,794
I wanted a actual
relationship with you,

371
00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:12,493
something significant,
something meaningful.

372
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:14,147
So did I.

373
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,975
Please don't be upset.

374
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,542
It's too late.

375
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,378
Wow.

376
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,815
That did not go well.

377
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:34,036
Are you kidding? I have her
right where I want her!

378
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,560
And now the real game has begun!

379
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,088
Damn it.

380
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,873
Adam, if a woman sent you
a text as a lady panda

381
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,658
with super long eyelashes,
you would text her back, right?

382
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:50,313
I don't know. I find
flirty animals confusing.

383
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:52,663
Rudy's driving me insane.

384
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:55,318
I can't stop looking
at my phone. Here, you take it.

385
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,190
No matter what I do,
no matter what I say, no matter

386
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,409
how much I beg,
do not give it back to me.

387
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:00,715
Okay.

388
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,064
Give it back to me.

389
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,196
Okay.

390
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:05,372
[mouthing]

391
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:07,896
Hey.

392
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,246
Hey, I didn't expect to see you.

393
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,856
I was on my way
back from a meeting

394
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,076
and I hadn't heard from you,
so I thought I'd check in.

395
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,469
How'd it go with Bonnie?

396
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:18,950
I took your advice,
and at first it went great.

397
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:21,344
Oh, no. You went past sorry.

398
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:24,086
[stammers]
Just a little.

399
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,001
[sighs]
Why can't men learn?

400
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,004
Once things are good,
stop talking.

401
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,441
Why can't women learn
that men don't learn?

402
00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:33,487
[laughs]

403
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:34,749
Uh, listen,
I-I thought

404
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,925
if she knew that my apology
was your idea,

405
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,188
that she'd realize
how much you've been helping me.

406
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:41,886
This is why I tell my sponsees:
stick to the script.

407
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,888
Don't veer from the script.

408
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:46,152
Yeah, I know. It's just, you
know, I don't want to feel tense

409
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,023
every time I bring your name up.

410
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,721
I mean, does your husband have a
problem with you sponsoring men?

411
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:53,768
No. He has a problem
with everything else I do.

412
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:56,118
But if you ever meet him,
don't tell him I said that.

413
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,989
Noted.

414
00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:00,644
And if you ever meet Bonnie...

415
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:03,082
Well, there's no way
to talk you through that one.

416
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,909
[laughs]

417
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:07,564
How about we agree to never
meet each other's spouses?

418
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:08,565
Deal.

419
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:09,784
[chuckles]

420
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,400
What's happening?

421
00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:24,581
[sighs]

422
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,456
[exhales]

423
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,632
You were right.

424
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:35,157
Damn it! This is not how I want
to look when I'm right.

425
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,074
Yeah. I'll tell you again
tomorrow.

426
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,909
[groans] I can't believe
Rudy's still ghosting me.

427
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,998
Isn't that what you did to him?

428
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,826
Yeah, but I did it as a game.

429
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,698
Um, hello.

430
00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:58,398
Oh, my God.

431
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:01,575
That crazy, sexy genius.

432
00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:05,100
The puppeteer
has become the puppet.

433
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,407
Owen's doing
the same thing to me.

434
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,973
He's playing so hard to get,

435
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,541
I saw him making out with
someone else during my share.

436
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:12,847
[sighs]

437
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,937
Well, Rudy leaves me no choice.
Take my phone.

438
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:18,505
No matter what I say,
do not give it back to me.

439
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:20,376
But doesn't that just mean
neither of you

440
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,769
are speaking to each other?

441
00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:24,946
Oh, Christy, do you know
nothing of love?

442
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,777
Oh, look. It's Owen.

443
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,213
[scoffs]

444
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,694
Dude...

445
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:35,870
get over me.

446
00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,393
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

447
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:46,576
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

448
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:50,624
Captioned by
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