1 00:00:03,111 --> 00:00:04,770 Hi, I'm Christy. 2 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,223 I will be your server tonight. 3 00:00:06,224 --> 00:00:07,958 Let me tell you about our specials. 4 00:00:07,959 --> 00:00:11,761 We have a lovely grilled salmon on a bed of... holy crap. 5 00:00:12,396 --> 00:00:13,631 (clears throat) 6 00:00:13,632 --> 00:00:16,499 She meant to say jasmine rice. Excuse me. 7 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,105 What was that? 8 00:00:21,106 --> 00:00:22,706 I can't go back in there. 9 00:00:22,707 --> 00:00:24,308 Ever? 10 00:00:24,309 --> 00:00:27,144 There's this girl I went to high school with sitting at the bar. 11 00:00:27,145 --> 00:00:29,346 Don't tell me, you screwed her over. 12 00:00:29,347 --> 00:00:31,081 Why would you say that? 13 00:00:31,082 --> 00:00:32,449 What, you sleep with her boyfriend? 14 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:33,450 Get out of my head! 15 00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,085 Come on. 16 00:00:35,086 --> 00:00:37,554 I-It was a long time ago. I'm sure she's over it. 17 00:00:37,555 --> 00:00:38,555 - You think? - No idea. 18 00:00:38,556 --> 00:00:41,358 Just need to get you back to work. 19 00:00:41,359 --> 00:00:43,493 Table four... you sleep with anybody there? 20 00:00:43,494 --> 00:00:45,828 No. Wait. 21 00:00:46,997 --> 00:00:47,898 No. 22 00:00:47,899 --> 00:00:50,167 Good. Take them their entrees. 23 00:00:50,168 --> 00:00:52,569 Try not to bang anyone on the way. 24 00:00:52,570 --> 00:00:55,439 I can't promise anything. 25 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,175 (sighs) 26 00:00:58,176 --> 00:01:01,211 Sobriety has not made her any less crazy. 27 00:01:01,212 --> 00:01:03,946 You say that like it's a bad thing. 28 00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:06,950 Enjoy your meal. 29 00:01:06,951 --> 00:01:08,431 Christy? 30 00:01:11,421 --> 00:01:12,923 Jessica? 31 00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:14,724 It's so good to see you! 32 00:01:14,725 --> 00:01:19,095 Oh, it's... good to see you. 33 00:01:19,096 --> 00:01:21,197 What's it been, like, 20 years? 34 00:01:21,198 --> 00:01:22,932 Yeah, I guess. (chuckles) 35 00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:24,434 How's life? 36 00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:26,603 Great. Couldn't be happier. 37 00:01:26,604 --> 00:01:27,937 And you? 38 00:01:27,938 --> 00:01:29,839 I think my apron says it all. (chuckles) 39 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:30,840 Oh. (laughs) 40 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,576 Well, I'll let you get back to it. 41 00:01:33,577 --> 00:01:34,644 (chuckles) 42 00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:36,212 See you at the next reunion. 43 00:01:36,213 --> 00:01:39,315 (chuckles) I can't wait. 44 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,750 Jessica? 45 00:01:40,751 --> 00:01:43,286 - Hang on. - Yeah? 46 00:01:43,287 --> 00:01:46,389 Something's been bothering me for a really long time, 47 00:01:46,390 --> 00:01:48,958 and I need to clear the air. 48 00:01:48,959 --> 00:01:51,159 You mean with you and Tony? 49 00:01:51,794 --> 00:01:53,930 We were kids. Forget about it. 50 00:01:53,931 --> 00:01:55,565 Oh, thank you. 51 00:01:55,566 --> 00:01:57,166 (chuckles) 52 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,535 I can't tell you how much this has haunted me. 53 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,371 Aw, all's forgiven. 54 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,538 Oh, great! 55 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,608 You know, in a way, I kind of did you a favor. 56 00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:11,280 I mean, that clown slept with everybody. 57 00:02:11,281 --> 00:02:12,181 He did? 58 00:02:12,182 --> 00:02:13,216 Oh, my God. 59 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,217 Half the girls in our class 60 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,752 and a couple of the moms. 61 00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:21,324 Lunch lady gave him extra tater tots, if you know what I mean. 62 00:02:21,325 --> 00:02:22,758 Really? 63 00:02:22,759 --> 00:02:27,028 And from what I hear, he is still a full-on man whore. 64 00:02:27,663 --> 00:02:29,498 Sorry I'm late, honey. 65 00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:30,566 Tony? 66 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,968 Christy? 67 00:02:32,969 --> 00:02:35,236 You and Jessica are still... 68 00:02:36,038 --> 00:02:37,572 Got to go. 69 00:02:39,475 --> 00:02:43,244 So, I hear you folks are celebrating an anniversary. 70 00:02:49,515 --> 00:02:54,913 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for addic7ed.com. 71 00:03:04,908 --> 00:03:07,159 I really thought by apologizing to Jessica 72 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:08,660 I was doing a good thing. 73 00:03:08,661 --> 00:03:09,761 You know? 74 00:03:09,762 --> 00:03:10,890 Making an amends. 75 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,024 It was a good thing. 76 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,860 Except for probably breaking up their marriage. 77 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:18,463 Yeah, they did not stay for dinner. 78 00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,165 I hate to be a stick-in-the-mud... 79 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,201 No, you don't. 80 00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,537 ...but next time you're fixing the past, 81 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,339 try not to break the present. 82 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:31,276 Boy, you're like an embroidered pillow with feet. 83 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:34,312 Okay, let's see if I can do better this time. 84 00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:36,148 Marjorie, 85 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,483 I'd like to make a proper amends to you. 86 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:39,818 What for, sweetie? 87 00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:42,988 You lent me money, and I never paid you back. 88 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,923 Hey, I lent you money. 89 00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:47,225 Yeah. And you were never there when I was growing up. 90 00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:48,326 We're square. 91 00:03:48,327 --> 00:03:50,262 Anyway, 92 00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:54,166 I've been working extra shifts, so here it is. 93 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,433 Thank you. 94 00:03:55,434 --> 00:03:57,634 I really appreciate this. 95 00:03:59,404 --> 00:04:01,139 Now, what about your landlord? 96 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,273 What about him? 97 00:04:02,274 --> 00:04:03,708 Christy, you skipped out on the rent. 98 00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:05,477 You got to make that right. 99 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:09,047 Or I could give you an extra $20 100 00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:12,517 and we all forget about it. 101 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:14,152 You know, if you want to clean house, 102 00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:16,121 you got to vacuum under the couch. 103 00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:19,289 Another pillow. Good for you. 104 00:04:19,858 --> 00:04:22,327 Marjorie, I owe him $4,000. 105 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,696 I couldn't make that right if I wanted to. 106 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:26,431 Offer him a payment plan. 107 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,933 Give him... I don't know... 50 bucks a month. 108 00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:30,568 50 bucks a month? 109 00:04:30,569 --> 00:04:33,137 That's gonna take, like... 110 00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:35,740 BOTH: Six and a half years. 111 00:04:35,741 --> 00:04:40,010 Damn. Drug dealers are so good at math. 112 00:04:44,515 --> 00:04:46,883 (sighs) 113 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:53,024 $50? You owe me $4,000! 114 00:04:53,025 --> 00:04:55,126 But I don't have $4,000. 115 00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:57,927 Then you don't have your hand! 116 00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:01,731 (screaming) 117 00:05:07,038 --> 00:05:09,439 (exhales) 118 00:05:12,543 --> 00:05:13,911 Come in. 119 00:05:13,912 --> 00:05:16,312 Ooh, I just did my nails. 120 00:05:19,016 --> 00:05:21,418 Mr. Perugian? 121 00:05:21,419 --> 00:05:24,989 Crusty Plunkett. 122 00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:27,024 What do you want? 123 00:05:27,025 --> 00:05:29,959 Uh, well, first of all, hello. 124 00:05:31,028 --> 00:05:33,364 Okay. Um... 125 00:05:33,365 --> 00:05:35,966 you might not remember this, 126 00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:40,304 but I kind of sort of ran out on the rent. 127 00:05:40,305 --> 00:05:42,873 $4,227. 128 00:05:42,874 --> 00:05:46,210 Okay, in my mind, I had rounded it down, 129 00:05:46,211 --> 00:05:49,079 but, uh, that sounds about right. 130 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,548 Anyway, um, I... 131 00:05:51,549 --> 00:05:53,851 want to apologize. 132 00:05:53,852 --> 00:05:57,421 I was totally wrong, and I... 133 00:05:57,422 --> 00:05:58,422 You have my money? 134 00:05:58,423 --> 00:06:00,691 Not all of it, no. 135 00:06:00,692 --> 00:06:03,092 Just this. 136 00:06:05,696 --> 00:06:07,564 $50? 137 00:06:07,565 --> 00:06:09,965 Ooh. 138 00:06:12,903 --> 00:06:16,907 Yes, I plan to pay you this every month... 139 00:06:16,908 --> 00:06:17,741 Week. 140 00:06:17,742 --> 00:06:19,409 Week. (chuckles) 141 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:21,411 That's what I meant. 142 00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:25,415 I will come here every week and give you $50. 143 00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:26,750 You don't have such a great history 144 00:06:26,751 --> 00:06:29,019 of coming to me with money. I'll come to you. 145 00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,220 Where do you live? 146 00:06:30,221 --> 00:06:33,123 Uh, 7219 Sycamore... 147 00:06:33,124 --> 00:06:34,491 Liar! 148 00:06:34,492 --> 00:06:36,493 6423 Sherborn, 149 00:06:36,494 --> 00:06:39,429 apartment 1B. 150 00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:41,131 - Come on in. - Thank you. 151 00:06:41,132 --> 00:06:43,967 How do you like my post-divorce digs? 152 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,602 Came furnished. 153 00:06:45,603 --> 00:06:48,171 Did they give you a noose or you have to supply your own? 154 00:06:48,172 --> 00:06:50,507 Come on, it's not so bad. 155 00:06:50,508 --> 00:06:52,642 I get home from work around 6:00, 156 00:06:52,643 --> 00:06:54,978 microwave dinner, go down to the rec room, 157 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,113 play a little Ping-Pong with the other divorced guys, 158 00:06:57,114 --> 00:06:59,115 watch some TV, and before you know it, 159 00:06:59,116 --> 00:07:02,185 it's 6:30. 160 00:07:02,186 --> 00:07:03,553 Is that an electric oven? 161 00:07:03,554 --> 00:07:05,514 - Yeah. - Good. 162 00:07:06,756 --> 00:07:09,792 So what's up? Why the cryptic text message? 163 00:07:09,793 --> 00:07:11,811 Well, I had some things I wanted to talk to you about, 164 00:07:11,812 --> 00:07:13,329 and I wanted to do it face-to-face. 165 00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,163 I'm sorry. 166 00:07:14,164 --> 00:07:15,264 About what? 167 00:07:15,265 --> 00:07:17,233 I don't know. It's just a reflex. 168 00:07:17,234 --> 00:07:18,501 Take it easy. 169 00:07:18,502 --> 00:07:20,103 This isn't about you; it's about me. 170 00:07:20,104 --> 00:07:23,406 I need to apologize for the stuff I did to you. 171 00:07:23,407 --> 00:07:24,607 Really? 172 00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:27,909 Wow, my sphincter just relaxed. 173 00:07:28,511 --> 00:07:30,646 What do you have to apologize for? 174 00:07:30,647 --> 00:07:32,114 I'm the one that left you. 175 00:07:32,115 --> 00:07:36,786 Yes, and God is clearly punishing you for that. 176 00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:39,088 But if our relationship is going to move forward, 177 00:07:39,089 --> 00:07:42,091 I need to take responsibility for the mess I made. 178 00:07:42,092 --> 00:07:44,493 Okay, I accept your apology. 179 00:07:44,494 --> 00:07:46,495 No, I need to tell you all the things that I did 180 00:07:46,496 --> 00:07:48,331 and then ask for your forgiveness. 181 00:07:48,332 --> 00:07:50,533 How many things we talking? 182 00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:52,101 Ooh. (sputters) 183 00:07:52,102 --> 00:07:53,335 About 118. 184 00:07:53,336 --> 00:07:55,504 But there are a couple of things I did twice, 185 00:07:55,505 --> 00:07:58,908 so it's up to you if you want to count those separately. 186 00:07:58,909 --> 00:08:02,044 Okay, let 'er rip. 187 00:08:02,045 --> 00:08:04,480 January 7, 1976... the night we met. 188 00:08:04,481 --> 00:08:06,682 I stole $100 out of your wallet. 189 00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:08,584 You said that was my buddy Wayne. 190 00:08:08,585 --> 00:08:10,619 I never talked to him again! 191 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,621 If you're gonna flip out over each one of these, 192 00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,982 it's gonna take a lot longer than it needs to. 193 00:08:15,925 --> 00:08:18,260 January 8, 1976. I slept with Wayne. 194 00:08:18,261 --> 00:08:20,296 What?! 195 00:08:20,297 --> 00:08:22,298 In my defense, I was trying to console him 196 00:08:22,299 --> 00:08:24,799 because he was so upset about your friendship ending. 197 00:08:27,036 --> 00:08:29,471 Delivery. 198 00:08:29,472 --> 00:08:31,406 Eh, put it anywhere. 199 00:08:31,407 --> 00:08:33,409 How was the movie? 200 00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:36,879 We didn't go to a movie. We went to a museum instead. 201 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:40,449 Really? So you did something educational? 202 00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,484 No, it was fun. 203 00:08:42,485 --> 00:08:44,887 Did you guys eat dinner? 204 00:08:44,888 --> 00:08:47,155 Yeah, my girlfriend packed us some veggie wraps, 205 00:08:47,156 --> 00:08:49,925 so we stopped at Jack in the Box. 206 00:08:49,926 --> 00:08:51,727 All right, fine. 207 00:08:51,728 --> 00:08:53,829 Go do your homework and then get ready for bed. 208 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,497 See you next weekend, buddy. 209 00:08:55,498 --> 00:08:57,898 - Love you, Dad. - Love you, too. 210 00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:01,636 Well, I am very impressed. 211 00:09:01,637 --> 00:09:04,106 You're doing a great job with him. 212 00:09:04,107 --> 00:09:05,107 Thank you. 213 00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:07,509 And you really turned your life around. 214 00:09:07,510 --> 00:09:10,579 Good job, solid relationship with Candace. 215 00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:14,249 Yeah, I'm not cheating on her at all. 216 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:17,118 Boyfriend of the year. 217 00:09:17,119 --> 00:09:19,154 I'm glad you feel that way 218 00:09:19,155 --> 00:09:22,624 because I've been wanting to ask you something important. 219 00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:25,025 Anything. 220 00:09:26,061 --> 00:09:28,630 How would you feel about Roscoe coming to live with me 221 00:09:28,631 --> 00:09:30,198 and Candace for a while? 222 00:09:30,199 --> 00:09:31,466 What? 223 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:32,834 You know, we got the big house, 224 00:09:32,835 --> 00:09:34,102 and it's right by his school. 225 00:09:34,103 --> 00:09:35,303 He's got his own room. 226 00:09:35,304 --> 00:09:37,272 We're even thinking about getting a dog. 227 00:09:37,273 --> 00:09:39,140 Are you out of your mind? 228 00:09:39,141 --> 00:09:41,276 Come on, Christy, he sleeps in the closet here. 229 00:09:41,277 --> 00:09:43,678 It's a bonus room! 230 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,314 Okay, calm down. I don't want to fight. 231 00:09:46,315 --> 00:09:47,515 No one's fighting. 232 00:09:47,516 --> 00:09:50,318 I am calmly telling you that you are a loser, 233 00:09:50,319 --> 00:09:51,519 you'll always be a loser, 234 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,321 and you're not gonna take my kid away from me. 235 00:09:53,322 --> 00:09:55,056 Your kid? 236 00:09:55,057 --> 00:09:56,691 We made him together! 237 00:09:56,692 --> 00:09:59,661 I was in that bathroom stall, too! 238 00:09:59,662 --> 00:10:01,996 Forget it! It's not gonna happen! 239 00:10:01,997 --> 00:10:03,264 Now get out! 240 00:10:03,265 --> 00:10:05,233 All right, but I think you should know 241 00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:06,534 that Candace's brother 242 00:10:06,535 --> 00:10:09,504 is a lawyer, and he says I have rights. 243 00:10:09,505 --> 00:10:11,672 Really? You want to bring a lawyer into this? 244 00:10:11,673 --> 00:10:13,940 Then you better bring a gun, too! 245 00:10:14,642 --> 00:10:18,144 I'm telling my lawyer you said that! 246 00:10:25,717 --> 00:10:28,609 Okay, home stretch. March 11, 1978. 247 00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:30,378 Your grandmother got arrested at the airport 248 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,713 carrying a bag of my weed. 249 00:10:32,714 --> 00:10:35,550 You made my Nana a mule? 250 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,418 I didn't plan it. 251 00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,453 I saw a drug-sniffing dog coming, 252 00:10:39,454 --> 00:10:42,256 I panicked and stuffed it in her wheelchair. 253 00:10:42,257 --> 00:10:44,158 Before you say anything, they let her go, 254 00:10:44,159 --> 00:10:46,460 and I told her if she kept it a secret, 255 00:10:46,461 --> 00:10:47,862 I'd give her a great-grandchild. 256 00:10:47,863 --> 00:10:50,331 Here's a big one. 257 00:10:50,332 --> 00:10:53,034 Your cousin David. You still in touch with him? 258 00:10:53,035 --> 00:10:54,635 Yeah, we're very close. 259 00:10:54,636 --> 00:10:57,136 Okay, well, then I'm just gonna skip that. 260 00:10:58,739 --> 00:11:02,243 And finally, about a year after you left me... 261 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,845 Well, this is a tough one. 262 00:11:04,846 --> 00:11:06,947 Not proud of this. 263 00:11:06,948 --> 00:11:10,283 I set your vintage Corvette on fire. 264 00:11:11,919 --> 00:11:14,288 I never owned a Corvette. 265 00:11:14,289 --> 00:11:17,123 Really? 266 00:11:17,925 --> 00:11:21,160 Okay, I'm gonna have to track that guy down. 267 00:11:22,129 --> 00:11:24,031 Wow! 268 00:11:24,032 --> 00:11:27,334 I should have done this years ago. 269 00:11:27,335 --> 00:11:29,403 I feel great. 270 00:11:29,404 --> 00:11:32,072 Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 271 00:11:32,073 --> 00:11:34,575 Yeah, good for you. 272 00:11:34,576 --> 00:11:36,310 No, good for us. 273 00:11:36,311 --> 00:11:38,245 We have a clean slate, 274 00:11:38,246 --> 00:11:41,381 fresh start, nothing's stopping us. 275 00:11:41,382 --> 00:11:43,383 Sorry, I can't do this now. 276 00:11:43,384 --> 00:11:45,284 You need to take a pill? 277 00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:49,223 How could you do all that stuff to me? 278 00:11:49,224 --> 00:11:51,725 Okay, clearly you don't understand how this works. 279 00:11:51,726 --> 00:11:54,428 See, this is the part where you forgive me. 280 00:11:54,429 --> 00:11:56,263 Yeah, well, I don't think I can. 281 00:11:56,264 --> 00:12:00,233 Hey, I forgave you for walking out on me. 282 00:12:00,234 --> 00:12:01,535 After hearing all this, 283 00:12:01,536 --> 00:12:05,038 walking out on you was the smartest thing I ever did! 284 00:12:05,039 --> 00:12:09,308 Okay, I think this party's over. 285 00:12:11,711 --> 00:12:16,148 Just so you know, you have ruined this amends for me! 286 00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:23,790 Hey, how'd it go with Dad? 287 00:12:23,791 --> 00:12:26,059 Oh, we hate him now. 288 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:27,060 - We do? - Yup. 289 00:12:27,061 --> 00:12:28,828 I'm gonna need you to step up. 290 00:12:28,829 --> 00:12:32,932 Well, uh, you can join me in hating Baxter. 291 00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:35,168 Dumb-ass wants Roscoe to live with him. 292 00:12:35,169 --> 00:12:36,102 You're kidding. 293 00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:37,303 Completely forgetting 294 00:12:37,304 --> 00:12:39,539 that three months ago, he was living in his van, 295 00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:43,942 smoking pot out of an apple, then giving Roscoe the apple. 296 00:12:44,911 --> 00:12:46,312 Can you check my homework, Mom? 297 00:12:46,313 --> 00:12:48,781 What? Oh, yeah, sure. 298 00:12:48,782 --> 00:12:50,283 (clears throat) Okay. 299 00:12:50,284 --> 00:12:53,019 “Train A leaves the station traveling at 30 miles 300 00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:54,554 per hour, and Train B leaves..” 301 00:12:54,555 --> 00:12:56,623 You know what? 302 00:12:56,624 --> 00:12:58,458 I have a better math problem for you. 303 00:12:58,459 --> 00:13:02,128 This is the one the teacher's looking for, but okay. 304 00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:05,498 Train A is leaving with your mommy. 305 00:13:05,499 --> 00:13:06,899 Train B 306 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,734 is leaving with your daddy. 307 00:13:08,735 --> 00:13:11,069 Which train would you rather be on? 308 00:13:12,104 --> 00:13:13,406 Where's Dad's train going? 309 00:13:13,407 --> 00:13:15,174 Loserville. 310 00:13:15,175 --> 00:13:16,609 Where's your train going? 311 00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:18,411 Disneyland. 312 00:13:18,412 --> 00:13:20,913 Seriously? 313 00:13:20,914 --> 00:13:22,380 Stay out of it, Violet. 314 00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:25,885 And my train stops for ice cream on the way. 315 00:13:25,886 --> 00:13:27,253 Let me think. 316 00:13:27,254 --> 00:13:28,454 What's there to think about? 317 00:13:28,455 --> 00:13:31,958 I could be the King of Loserville. 318 00:13:31,959 --> 00:13:33,693 Oh, come on, make a decision. 319 00:13:33,694 --> 00:13:35,661 Roscoe, leave your homework with me. 320 00:13:35,662 --> 00:13:38,062 Mom's not good at math. 321 00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:43,903 You are scary. 322 00:13:43,904 --> 00:13:47,606 No, what's scary is the idea of Baxter trying to parent him. 323 00:13:47,607 --> 00:13:49,275 That's not fair. When you guys were together, 324 00:13:49,276 --> 00:13:50,543 Baxter was a pretty good dad. 325 00:13:50,544 --> 00:13:52,545 Are you seriously defending him? 326 00:13:52,546 --> 00:13:54,346 Do you believe this? 327 00:13:54,347 --> 00:13:58,117 I'm just here as your mother. I don't want to get involved. 328 00:13:58,118 --> 00:14:00,719 Baxter did nothing but smoke pot, 329 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,756 sit on the couch and yell the wrong answers at Jeopardy. 330 00:14:03,757 --> 00:14:07,126 Never once in the form of a question. 331 00:14:07,127 --> 00:14:09,628 While you got drunk and disappeared for days. 332 00:14:09,629 --> 00:14:11,630 That's not true. 333 00:14:11,631 --> 00:14:14,433 Remember Roscoe's first-grade graduation? 334 00:14:14,434 --> 00:14:15,467 Of course you don't. 335 00:14:15,468 --> 00:14:17,536 You were too hung-over to get out of bed. 336 00:14:17,537 --> 00:14:19,404 - But Baxter was there. - Really? 337 00:14:19,405 --> 00:14:21,273 Well, he went to the third grade graduation first, 338 00:14:21,274 --> 00:14:24,176 but eventually he found the right room. 339 00:14:24,177 --> 00:14:26,411 Fine. He showed up to one event. 340 00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:28,013 Hooray for Baxter. 341 00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:29,681 Let's put him on a stamp. 342 00:14:29,682 --> 00:14:31,049 You may not want to remember 343 00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:33,818 what went on around here, but I do. 344 00:14:38,757 --> 00:14:40,359 Don't worry. 345 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:44,328 She's smoking pot now, so her memories will fade. 346 00:14:46,631 --> 00:14:48,999 (phone ringing) 347 00:14:50,635 --> 00:14:53,004 Building manager. 348 00:14:53,005 --> 00:14:55,040 Hello, Joanne Wickie in 3B. 349 00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:57,576 What can I do for you? 350 00:14:57,577 --> 00:15:00,946 Hot water cut off in the middle of your shower again? 351 00:15:00,947 --> 00:15:03,014 I'll be right over. 352 00:15:03,015 --> 00:15:06,484 Hey, do me a favor. Put on a robe this time. 353 00:15:06,485 --> 00:15:09,753 I know you're comfortable with your body, but I'm not. 354 00:15:11,322 --> 00:15:13,991 I blame Lena Dunham. 355 00:15:18,096 --> 00:15:19,764 Hey. 356 00:15:19,765 --> 00:15:21,633 Oh. Hello. 357 00:15:21,634 --> 00:15:23,168 Got a minute? 358 00:15:23,169 --> 00:15:25,370 I'm on my way to see a 300-pound naked woman 359 00:15:25,371 --> 00:15:28,673 with soap in her eyes, so... 360 00:15:28,674 --> 00:15:30,807 yes. 361 00:15:32,443 --> 00:15:35,346 I wanted to apologize for the way I acted the other day. 362 00:15:35,347 --> 00:15:37,415 Keep going. 363 00:15:37,416 --> 00:15:40,118 I realized the only reason you told me all those things was 364 00:15:40,119 --> 00:15:42,987 so we could start fresh, and I really want that. 365 00:15:42,988 --> 00:15:45,623 You didn't have to come all the way over here for that. 366 00:15:45,624 --> 00:15:46,758 You could have just called. 367 00:15:46,759 --> 00:15:49,793 I know, but then I couldn't do this. 368 00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:55,800 (laughs) 369 00:15:55,801 --> 00:15:57,001 Bravo! 370 00:15:57,002 --> 00:15:59,070 - (laughs) - (sighs) 371 00:15:59,071 --> 00:16:01,439 I couldn't have done it without you. 372 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,475 35 years. Worth the wait. 373 00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:07,245 Oh. Is it just me, 374 00:16:07,246 --> 00:16:10,915 or is sex better now than when we were kids? 375 00:16:10,916 --> 00:16:12,850 Well, it's longer. 376 00:16:12,851 --> 00:16:15,251 (both laugh) 377 00:16:17,321 --> 00:16:19,790 (sighs) It is better. 378 00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:21,792 Yeah. (laughs) 379 00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,928 Oh. 380 00:16:23,929 --> 00:16:26,363 You know, I was thinking about all the secrets 381 00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:27,631 you unloaded on me. 382 00:16:27,632 --> 00:16:28,999 Yeah? 383 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,770 And I thought maybe I should do the same, clean the slate. 384 00:16:32,771 --> 00:16:34,371 That's great. 385 00:16:34,372 --> 00:16:38,008 Okay, here's something you never knew 386 00:16:38,009 --> 00:16:39,777 that's always sort of bothered me. 387 00:16:39,778 --> 00:16:43,113 Ooh! 388 00:16:43,114 --> 00:16:46,050 You remember that Labor Day weekend you spent in jail 389 00:16:46,051 --> 00:16:48,285 'cause I couldn't afford to bail you out? 390 00:16:48,286 --> 00:16:49,620 Yeah? 391 00:16:49,621 --> 00:16:54,423 I had the money, but I just needed a break from you. 392 00:16:56,894 --> 00:17:00,129 (laughs): Come on, that's funny. 393 00:17:02,199 --> 00:17:04,600 BONNIE: Get out! 394 00:17:07,137 --> 00:17:09,840 I like you, Dave, but I can't go any lower on this car 395 00:17:09,841 --> 00:17:11,708 without checking with my manager. 396 00:17:11,709 --> 00:17:13,509 Wish me luck. 397 00:17:14,111 --> 00:17:15,913 (scoffs) Luck. 398 00:17:15,914 --> 00:17:18,482 (laughs) 399 00:17:18,483 --> 00:17:21,184 Hey. 400 00:17:21,185 --> 00:17:23,253 Baxter, got a minute? 401 00:17:23,254 --> 00:17:26,256 Oh. Hello, Christy. 402 00:17:26,257 --> 00:17:28,725 I'm being aloof because of our fight the other day, 403 00:17:28,726 --> 00:17:33,263 unless you're here to buy a car, in which case you look lovely. 404 00:17:33,264 --> 00:17:36,666 I wanted to talk to you about Roscoe. 405 00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,401 I'm listening. 406 00:17:38,402 --> 00:17:41,705 I'm sorry I said all those awful things about you. 407 00:17:41,706 --> 00:17:43,039 Mm-hmm. 408 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,741 Yeah, I was talking to Violet, 409 00:17:44,742 --> 00:17:48,712 and she reminded me of a couple important factors. 410 00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:49,713 Did she now? 411 00:17:49,714 --> 00:17:51,281 You did a lot of good stuff 412 00:17:51,282 --> 00:17:54,284 for my kids when I wasn't there for them, 413 00:17:54,285 --> 00:17:57,554 and I never thanked you. 414 00:17:57,555 --> 00:17:59,989 So... thank you. 415 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:02,225 And I'm sorry. 416 00:18:02,226 --> 00:18:04,794 Hey, is this one of those amends things? 417 00:18:04,795 --> 00:18:06,463 I guess it is. 418 00:18:06,464 --> 00:18:09,399 Cool, I've never gotten one of those. 419 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,534 Bring it in. Bring it in, come on. 420 00:18:11,535 --> 00:18:15,038 I'm just scared that now that you have a beautiful house 421 00:18:15,039 --> 00:18:17,040 and a pool and this great new life 422 00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:19,776 that Roscoe will never want to come back to my place. 423 00:18:19,777 --> 00:18:21,244 Of course he will. 424 00:18:21,245 --> 00:18:22,712 Why? 425 00:18:22,713 --> 00:18:24,681 Are you kidding? 426 00:18:24,682 --> 00:18:26,282 Because you're there. 427 00:18:26,283 --> 00:18:30,119 Oh, God, I'm not sure I can deal 428 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:33,723 with you turning into a decent human being. 429 00:18:33,724 --> 00:18:37,058 It's weird, right? 430 00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:40,763 Does this mean you're gonna let him live with me? 431 00:18:40,764 --> 00:18:42,231 (sighs) 432 00:18:42,232 --> 00:18:43,866 How about every other week? 433 00:18:43,867 --> 00:18:46,636 That's great. Thank you. 434 00:18:46,637 --> 00:18:49,772 Okay, I'll see you soon. 435 00:18:49,773 --> 00:18:51,707 Wait. Christy... 436 00:18:51,708 --> 00:18:54,010 I got to tell you something. 437 00:18:54,011 --> 00:18:55,810 What? 438 00:18:57,613 --> 00:19:00,616 There will never be a better time 439 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:04,752 to put yourself in a pre-owned four-wheel-drive hatchback. 440 00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:10,024 Good-bye, Baxter. 441 00:19:14,697 --> 00:19:16,499 This is your lucky day, Dave. 442 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:19,567 My manager says we have a deal! 443 00:19:28,162 --> 00:19:30,097 44, 45... 444 00:19:30,098 --> 00:19:31,732 Hang on, hang on. 445 00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:34,869 Uh, 25 cents, 50 cents... 446 00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:36,003 We set a schedule. 447 00:19:36,004 --> 00:19:38,764 How is this a surprise to you? 448 00:19:39,273 --> 00:19:40,341 Mom, you got five bucks? 449 00:19:40,342 --> 00:19:42,709 Yeah, hold on. 450 00:19:44,345 --> 00:19:46,614 Here you go. 451 00:19:46,615 --> 00:19:48,949 Ladies, your tea is getting cold. 452 00:19:48,950 --> 00:19:50,517 Who's that? 453 00:19:50,518 --> 00:19:53,587 A... friend of ours. 454 00:19:53,588 --> 00:19:56,991 She spoken for? 455 00:19:56,992 --> 00:20:00,494 Just by some cats. 456 00:20:00,495 --> 00:20:04,498 Could you make an introduction? 457 00:20:04,499 --> 00:20:06,533 Sure, I guess. 458 00:20:06,534 --> 00:20:09,436 For 50 bucks. 459 00:20:09,437 --> 00:20:11,238 What? 460 00:20:11,239 --> 00:20:14,340 (mocking accent): You want to haggle, it's a hundred. 461 00:20:18,412 --> 00:20:20,614 Okay. 462 00:20:20,615 --> 00:20:24,284 Uh, would you like to come in for some tea? 463 00:20:24,285 --> 00:20:25,951 Sure. 464 00:20:29,823 --> 00:20:35,163 You realize we just pimped out our dearest friend for 50 bucks. 465 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,386 I think he overpaid. 466 00:20:39,699 --> 00:20:49,447 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for addic7ed.com.