1 00:00:03,231 --> 00:00:05,418 (groans) 2 00:00:05,443 --> 00:00:06,864 What are you doing? 3 00:00:06,889 --> 00:00:08,448 Waiting for the bathroom. 4 00:00:08,453 --> 00:00:10,277 Tammy's taken it hostage. 5 00:00:10,282 --> 00:00:11,898 Just go use the one upstairs. 6 00:00:11,927 --> 00:00:14,082 Good idea. I'll just hop in the elevator. 7 00:00:14,653 --> 00:00:16,213 Sorry, but isn't it great 8 00:00:16,265 --> 00:00:17,793 I don't even see the chair anymore? 9 00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:19,410 Yeah, you're the best. 10 00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:24,169 How you doing in there, Tammy? 11 00:00:24,481 --> 00:00:25,645 Wrapping it up, boss. 12 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,793 Just scraping the jail out of my feet. 13 00:00:28,684 --> 00:00:31,364 Oh, I got to scrape that image out of my mind. 14 00:00:31,686 --> 00:00:34,320 Keep looking. Maybe food will magically appear. 15 00:00:35,293 --> 00:00:37,856 Tammy even polished off the mystery Tupperware. 16 00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:39,637 We should ask her what the hell was in there. 17 00:00:39,681 --> 00:00:41,598 Mac and cheese. I still say chicken. 18 00:00:42,285 --> 00:00:44,030 Maybe. 19 00:00:44,082 --> 00:00:45,498 Hey, guys, I think we need 20 00:00:45,533 --> 00:00:47,145 to set some time limits on the bathroom. 21 00:00:47,188 --> 00:00:49,473 Ah, give her break. This is the first time in seven years 22 00:00:49,498 --> 00:00:51,957 she's been able to take a shower that didn't turn into a date. 23 00:00:53,875 --> 00:00:55,792 Hey, Adam, thanks again for tomorrow. 24 00:00:55,817 --> 00:00:57,450 - Mm. - We are gonna have a blast. 25 00:00:57,545 --> 00:00:59,545 I know. I can't wait. 26 00:01:00,332 --> 00:01:01,691 He doesn't know what I'm talking about, does he? 27 00:01:02,285 --> 00:01:03,383 Not a clue. 28 00:01:03,408 --> 00:01:06,895 San Francisco, tickets to Wicked, graduation gift 29 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,512 - for the little scamp. - You never told me that. 30 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:10,953 Oh, please. It was right there on your Visa bill. 31 00:01:11,590 --> 00:01:13,226 But I hate plays. 32 00:01:13,251 --> 00:01:14,968 This isn't a play. It's a musical. 33 00:01:14,993 --> 00:01:16,826 You're rowing in the wrong direction. 34 00:01:17,364 --> 00:01:18,898 Look, come on, Adam. 35 00:01:18,923 --> 00:01:21,006 It's about the Wizard of Oz. It'll be great. 36 00:01:21,031 --> 00:01:22,731 So a musical about a musical? 37 00:01:22,756 --> 00:01:24,778 Why, that changes everything. 38 00:01:25,481 --> 00:01:27,206 What do you want to do with the extra ticket? 39 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,219 How about Marjorie? 40 00:01:29,512 --> 00:01:31,590 Eh... It's a long drive. 41 00:01:32,457 --> 00:01:33,420 How about Tammy? 42 00:01:33,498 --> 00:01:34,918 Tammy yells at the TV. 43 00:01:34,943 --> 00:01:36,879 What's she gonna do when there's flying monkeys coming at her? 44 00:01:37,278 --> 00:01:39,276 - Jill? - In the nosebleed seats? 45 00:01:39,301 --> 00:01:40,553 She'll jump to her death. 46 00:01:40,595 --> 00:01:41,895 - Oh. - Wendy? 47 00:01:41,923 --> 00:01:43,684 Oh, come on. Be serious. 48 00:01:44,348 --> 00:01:46,843 Well, we're out of friends, so we're back to Marjorie. 49 00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:49,604 And she could use a break. Since Victor's stroke, 50 00:01:49,629 --> 00:01:51,264 her whole life has been taking care of him. 51 00:01:51,289 --> 00:01:52,571 How's he doing anyway? 52 00:01:52,965 --> 00:01:54,184 Pretty much the same. 53 00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:56,519 Super sad. Hey, why don't we scalp the ticket? 54 00:01:58,823 --> 00:02:00,621 What? I said, "Super sad." 55 00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:02,358 I'm calling Marjorie. 56 00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:03,520 Fine. 57 00:02:04,147 --> 00:02:05,611 You dodged this bullet, 58 00:02:05,636 --> 00:02:07,419 but you're still taking me to see Cher next month. 59 00:02:07,514 --> 00:02:09,070 Cher?! 60 00:02:09,228 --> 00:02:10,726 What is happening? 61 00:02:11,660 --> 00:02:13,660 You really need to start looking at your Visa bill. 62 00:02:16,060 --> 00:02:18,274 ♪♪ 63 00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:44,826 Wow. We are way up here. 64 00:02:44,851 --> 00:02:47,443 I hope we can tell which witch is which. 65 00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:50,146 Thank God Adam didn't come. 66 00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:52,748 I completely forgot to get him a handicap seat. 67 00:02:52,787 --> 00:02:56,006 We would've had to pass him down the row like a hot dog. 68 00:02:56,408 --> 00:02:58,270 Well, I don't care where we're sitting. 69 00:02:58,305 --> 00:02:59,719 I have been dying to see this show. 70 00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,577 I know every song by heart. 71 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,780 But we're gonna let the actors sing 'em, right? 72 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,199 Sure, they can join in. 73 00:03:08,624 --> 00:03:10,703 Switch with me, now. 74 00:03:10,789 --> 00:03:12,705 (cellophane crinkling noisily) 75 00:03:16,794 --> 00:03:20,512 (applause and cheering, whooping) 76 00:03:21,090 --> 00:03:23,973 Oh, my God, she was flying and singing. 77 00:03:24,044 --> 00:03:25,251 Isn't this amazing? 78 00:03:25,337 --> 00:03:26,803 She didn't choose to be wicked. 79 00:03:26,838 --> 00:03:28,504 It was thrust upon her! 80 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,423 I know. Now I understand you better! 81 00:03:30,958 --> 00:03:32,558 So do I. 82 00:03:32,644 --> 00:03:35,511 Thank you both so much. I'm having the best time. 83 00:03:35,597 --> 00:03:37,313 And you weren't lying. You do know every word. 84 00:03:37,349 --> 00:03:38,551 Uh-huh. 85 00:03:39,794 --> 00:03:41,476 - Can I see your bag of candy? - Oh. 86 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:42,986 Help yourself. 87 00:03:43,021 --> 00:03:45,355 You'll get this back at the end of the show. 88 00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:49,356 I fixed it, lady, so you can stop sighing. 89 00:03:50,403 --> 00:03:51,838 I think I've got go to the bathroom, 90 00:03:51,863 --> 00:03:54,058 but I know the line's gonna be way too long. 91 00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:55,122 Just use the men's room. 92 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,730 It's San Francisco. No one's gonna ask. 93 00:03:57,794 --> 00:03:59,012 Oh, my God. 94 00:03:59,809 --> 00:04:01,371 Victor's had another stroke. 95 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:02,872 Oh, no. 96 00:04:03,395 --> 00:04:05,434 - We got to go. - Of course. 97 00:04:07,082 --> 00:04:08,476 Yeah, we should all go. 98 00:04:11,549 --> 00:04:13,549 Has anybody heard from Marjorie? 99 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,049 Went by this morning, and she didn't answer the door. 100 00:04:16,369 --> 00:04:18,470 If your husband just died, would you want to talk? 101 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:21,064 Poor woman was by his side every minute, month after month, 102 00:04:21,089 --> 00:04:23,086 and the one time she gets dragged away... 103 00:04:23,111 --> 00:04:26,846 Got it, Mom. I killed Victor by taking her to a musical. 104 00:04:27,949 --> 00:04:29,983 I can't stop thinking about Victor. 105 00:04:30,275 --> 00:04:33,572 He was ripped from us too soon! (cries) 106 00:04:33,932 --> 00:04:35,305 Did she even know Victor? 107 00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:36,906 She barely knows Marjorie. 108 00:04:37,392 --> 00:04:39,951 Till a week ago, she was calling her "Marsha." 109 00:04:40,299 --> 00:04:43,413 I'm sorry. I just shoved my feelings down in the slammer. 110 00:04:43,465 --> 00:04:45,775 Now they're just shooting out of me. 111 00:04:46,455 --> 00:04:49,127 So people in prison actually say "slammer"? 112 00:04:49,291 --> 00:04:50,470 You makin' fun of my words? 113 00:04:50,495 --> 00:04:52,510 No, sir, I am not. 114 00:04:55,057 --> 00:04:57,176 - Hey, ladies. - Hey. - Hey. 115 00:04:57,201 --> 00:05:00,283 Guess who got a parking space right out front. 116 00:05:00,603 --> 00:05:02,848 - You're here. - I'm so sorry. 117 00:05:02,934 --> 00:05:04,350 - Oh, yeah. - How you doing? 118 00:05:04,428 --> 00:05:06,594 Oh, thank you. I'm okay. 119 00:05:06,749 --> 00:05:08,829 I dropped by earlier. Where were you? 120 00:05:08,854 --> 00:05:11,157 Ah, well, I had to buy the cookies, and on the way home, 121 00:05:11,182 --> 00:05:13,216 I saw the cutest sweater in a store window, 122 00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:14,791 and what do you think? 123 00:05:16,781 --> 00:05:19,721 - You went shopping? - Well, it was more of an impulse buy. 124 00:05:20,296 --> 00:05:21,914 I didn't think you'd be going out today. 125 00:05:21,939 --> 00:05:23,219 If I had known, I would have picked you up. 126 00:05:23,244 --> 00:05:25,830 Don't be silly. I can drive. Yeah. 127 00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:27,256 Ooh, hoo. 128 00:05:27,292 --> 00:05:29,042 You know, you forget about macaroons, 129 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,947 and then you have one, and it's, like, wow. 130 00:05:36,307 --> 00:05:39,746 Anybody else think she seems a little too... not sad? 131 00:05:39,771 --> 00:05:41,471 She's probably still in shock. 132 00:05:41,496 --> 00:05:44,721 Mm, she should be. That sweater's a swing and a miss. 133 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:48,361 Everyone grieves in their own way. 134 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,090 She's not grieving at all. 135 00:05:50,115 --> 00:05:52,615 She's shopping and eating and parking. 136 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:55,340 Some keep it inside, some let it out. 137 00:05:55,487 --> 00:05:58,066 There's no rulebook for feelings. 138 00:06:02,303 --> 00:06:04,804 When did booze commercials start showing up on TV again? 139 00:06:05,028 --> 00:06:07,902 I mean, I'm watching my Hallmark Christmas movie marathon, 140 00:06:07,927 --> 00:06:09,499 and there's an ad for some kind of fancy bourbon 141 00:06:09,524 --> 00:06:11,716 that's been tongue-kissed by the devil. 142 00:06:13,599 --> 00:06:15,558 Suddenly I'm horny, I want to get drunk, 143 00:06:15,590 --> 00:06:16,680 and I could give a flying fig 144 00:06:16,705 --> 00:06:18,989 if Reba McEntire makes it home for the holidays. 145 00:06:19,536 --> 00:06:20,747 Thanks. 146 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,259 Would anyone else like to share? 147 00:06:30,138 --> 00:06:32,605 Is anyone else sure they don't want share? 148 00:06:33,941 --> 00:06:35,822 If I wanted to share, I'd raise my hand. 149 00:06:35,847 --> 00:06:37,229 I know how it works. 150 00:06:39,427 --> 00:06:40,379 I could go again. 151 00:06:40,404 --> 00:06:42,752 Maybe this time, you'll pay attention. 152 00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:48,515 Yesterday, she went mall jogging, had some Wetzel bits, 153 00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:50,957 and then she bought a colander at Williams Sonoma. 154 00:06:51,521 --> 00:06:52,959 Are you stalking her? 155 00:06:53,071 --> 00:06:55,071 No, she Instagrammed it. 156 00:06:55,096 --> 00:06:56,712 The pretzels or the colander? 157 00:06:56,798 --> 00:07:00,614 Both. I don't think she totally gets Instagram. 158 00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:02,763 Or death. 159 00:07:03,318 --> 00:07:07,167 Christy, why don't you let her get through this in her own way? 160 00:07:07,466 --> 00:07:09,225 Hey, she's the one who told me 161 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,371 if we bury our feelings, it could lead to a relapse. 162 00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:14,197 It could. And guess what? You have no control 163 00:07:14,232 --> 00:07:17,984 over someone else's drinking, so let this go. 164 00:07:19,536 --> 00:07:21,237 You let it go. 165 00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:23,906 Does Marjorie have a sponsor? 166 00:07:24,007 --> 00:07:26,052 - Yes. - Does she work the program? 167 00:07:26,077 --> 00:07:27,437 - Yes. - Does she have a higher power? 168 00:07:27,462 --> 00:07:28,462 - Yes. - ls it you? 169 00:07:28,496 --> 00:07:31,193 Yes. I mean, no. 170 00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:34,083 - So you gonna let it go? - (sighs) 171 00:07:35,339 --> 00:07:36,396 Okay. 172 00:07:36,421 --> 00:07:39,138 Your lips say "okay," but those crazy eyes say, 173 00:07:39,163 --> 00:07:41,825 "I'm gonna get under the hood of this engine and rip it up." 174 00:07:42,515 --> 00:07:43,564 It's that obvious? 175 00:07:43,646 --> 00:07:44,760 How were you ever a gambler 176 00:07:44,785 --> 00:07:46,450 with a poker face like that? 177 00:07:46,763 --> 00:07:48,341 That's not my poker face. 178 00:07:49,311 --> 00:07:51,160 This... is my poker face. 179 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,088 It's very effective. 180 00:07:57,919 --> 00:07:59,888 Just leave the flowers anywhere. 181 00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:04,591 Two hour service and not one tear. 182 00:08:04,724 --> 00:08:06,282 I thought she was going for a tissue at one point, 183 00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:08,117 but she just had a bug in her eye. 184 00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,369 It's healthy. She's moving on. 185 00:08:10,982 --> 00:08:13,464 But when I go, I expect you to throw yourself on the coffin 186 00:08:13,504 --> 00:08:15,435 and curse God for taking me so young. 187 00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:17,105 Don't worry. When the time comes, 188 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,961 I've got a whole performance planned out. 189 00:08:19,013 --> 00:08:20,310 Great. 190 00:08:20,632 --> 00:08:22,215 Wait. 191 00:08:23,121 --> 00:08:25,340 You gave a beautiful eulogy. 192 00:08:26,122 --> 00:08:28,187 So many Victor fun facts. 193 00:08:28,818 --> 00:08:31,307 I mean, who knew he was an amateur magician? 194 00:08:31,359 --> 00:08:32,608 I did. 195 00:08:32,644 --> 00:08:34,777 We had a long dinner here one night, 196 00:08:34,812 --> 00:08:36,318 which was lovely. 197 00:08:37,239 --> 00:08:40,122 He made an entire Saturday night go poof. 198 00:08:42,099 --> 00:08:43,573 Adam, I just remembered. 199 00:08:43,598 --> 00:08:45,298 I have something I want you to have. 200 00:08:45,323 --> 00:08:46,435 Oh. 201 00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:48,407 I hope it's a beer. 202 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,826 Yeah, she keeps a six-pack of beer in her bedroom. 203 00:08:51,802 --> 00:08:52,716 WENDY: I used to keep 204 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,724 a keg and a tank of nitrous in my bedroom. 205 00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:57,333 Unbelievable. 206 00:08:57,385 --> 00:08:59,536 Don't judge. You did stuff, too. 207 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,701 I'm talking about Marjorie. 208 00:09:01,726 --> 00:09:04,566 It is odd. She cried more when her cat died. 209 00:09:04,591 --> 00:09:06,090 Well, I'm officially worried. 210 00:09:06,135 --> 00:09:07,969 The only thing she got upset about at the funeral 211 00:09:07,994 --> 00:09:11,362 was when those bagpipes started warming up for the next service. 212 00:09:11,387 --> 00:09:13,474 I think that hit all of us hard. 213 00:09:14,325 --> 00:09:15,593 These were Victor's. 214 00:09:15,678 --> 00:09:17,261 I thought you might like them. 215 00:09:17,286 --> 00:09:19,119 Oh. 216 00:09:19,232 --> 00:09:21,220 A velor tracksuit? 217 00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:24,368 I have always wanted one of these. 218 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,954 Now you have six of them. 219 00:09:28,491 --> 00:09:30,408 (chuckles): You're too sweet. 220 00:09:30,443 --> 00:09:32,276 Never outside the house. 221 00:09:35,915 --> 00:09:38,115 Got a special place you want to put the urn? 222 00:09:38,399 --> 00:09:41,085 Maybe by your bedside so you'll feel like he's there at night? 223 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,251 No. This'll be fine. 224 00:09:44,005 --> 00:09:46,089 Seriously? Next to the Raisin Bran? 225 00:09:46,478 --> 00:09:48,042 It's only temporary. 226 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:50,735 Victor wanted his ashes spread around the apple orchard 227 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,126 where he proposed to me. 228 00:09:52,298 --> 00:09:54,382 Aw, when you gonna do it? 229 00:09:54,407 --> 00:09:57,087 I don't know. It's a long drive. I'll get to it. 230 00:09:57,266 --> 00:09:58,883 If you'd like, I'll go with you. 231 00:09:59,022 --> 00:10:00,805 I'd like to see where Victor proposed. 232 00:10:00,857 --> 00:10:02,223 Maybe we can all go. 233 00:10:02,263 --> 00:10:04,125 Yeah, great. 234 00:10:05,194 --> 00:10:06,611 Mom? 235 00:10:06,636 --> 00:10:08,603 I changed my mind. Never outside... 236 00:10:08,813 --> 00:10:10,314 Just never. 237 00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:14,326 And yes to whatever you're talking about. 238 00:10:21,828 --> 00:10:24,085 I didn't know Victor was into Cuban cigars. 239 00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:27,495 I did. Again, epic dinner. 240 00:10:27,646 --> 00:10:29,729 Check it out. Smoke ring. 241 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:32,937 Nope. 242 00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:37,470 Victor used to smoke one of these every night. 243 00:10:37,661 --> 00:10:39,874 Aw, Marjorie. 244 00:10:39,899 --> 00:10:41,432 So many memories. 245 00:10:41,848 --> 00:10:43,171 I bet everywhere you look, 246 00:10:43,196 --> 00:10:45,446 you see reminders of your life together. 247 00:10:45,852 --> 00:10:47,117 Uh-huh. 248 00:10:49,446 --> 00:10:51,367 No more Christmases. 249 00:10:51,642 --> 00:10:54,026 No more crossword puzzles in bed. 250 00:10:54,051 --> 00:10:55,476 Reel it in. 251 00:10:57,206 --> 00:10:59,257 Why did men get cigars? 252 00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:01,928 I say we take these and give them Spanx. 253 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,359 Forget Spanx. Give them mammograms. 254 00:11:04,384 --> 00:11:06,384 Ooh, how about menstrual cramps? 255 00:11:06,409 --> 00:11:08,749 Yeah, or deep rectal spasms. 256 00:11:12,992 --> 00:11:15,539 Why did Victor propose to you in an orchard? 257 00:11:15,564 --> 00:11:17,804 Actually, it's a very romantic story. 258 00:11:18,062 --> 00:11:20,468 Ooh, get out the tissues. 259 00:11:21,283 --> 00:11:24,453 We were driving to a bed and breakfast in Carmel, 260 00:11:24,703 --> 00:11:26,828 and we hit a huge possum. 261 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,933 Got twisted up in the axle, so we had to pull over. 262 00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:31,824 Boy, it's like a Harlequin romance. 263 00:11:32,503 --> 00:11:35,472 Anyway, when Victor reached under the car 264 00:11:35,497 --> 00:11:37,914 to try to yank out what was left of the poor thing, 265 00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:40,535 the ring fell out of his jacket. 266 00:11:40,926 --> 00:11:44,895 I was so thrilled, I said yes before he even asked. 267 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:47,690 And it all happened 268 00:11:47,715 --> 00:11:49,965 in front of a lovely apple orchard? 269 00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:53,003 No, that's where we buried the possum. 270 00:11:55,597 --> 00:11:57,534 When I go, I want to be buried 271 00:11:57,569 --> 00:11:59,569 in my garden with my cats. 272 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,871 You have a garden full of dead cats? 273 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,825 I've eaten zucchini from that garden. 274 00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:09,078 Meow. 275 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,886 For the record, you're not cremating me. 276 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,299 That way when the zombie apocalypse happens, 277 00:12:13,324 --> 00:12:15,824 I can crawl out of my grave and eat all your faces. 278 00:12:17,973 --> 00:12:20,423 Anyone else feeling a little lightheaded? 279 00:12:23,178 --> 00:12:25,094 (Christy retching) 280 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,197 Seriously, who inhales a cigar? 281 00:12:30,305 --> 00:12:33,673 I'm an addict. I inhale everything. 282 00:12:33,698 --> 00:12:35,940 (retching) 283 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,112 Well, this can't be right. 284 00:12:42,414 --> 00:12:43,737 It has to be. 285 00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:46,032 Is it possible they built the Costco 286 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:48,009 around the apple orchard? 287 00:12:49,996 --> 00:12:52,580 How can it just be gone? 288 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,806 Oh. 289 00:12:55,516 --> 00:12:56,634 It's okay. 290 00:12:56,659 --> 00:12:58,471 Let it out. We're here. 291 00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,861 (laughing) 292 00:13:04,462 --> 00:13:07,470 - What's happening? - She's losing it. 293 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,162 Come on, you guys. 294 00:13:09,187 --> 00:13:11,858 My romantic orchard is now a Costco. 295 00:13:11,883 --> 00:13:13,249 You got to laugh. 296 00:13:13,395 --> 00:13:14,728 (Marjorie laughing) 297 00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,336 Or cry. 298 00:13:16,408 --> 00:13:20,126 Again, no more Christmases, birthdays, 299 00:13:20,151 --> 00:13:22,796 accidentally setting two places at dinner. 300 00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:24,621 Oh, God, I'm alone. 301 00:13:24,646 --> 00:13:26,479 (crying) 302 00:13:26,504 --> 00:13:28,868 You hit the wrong target. 303 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,884 Here you go. Mustard, onions. 304 00:13:37,916 --> 00:13:39,582 Delish. 305 00:13:39,838 --> 00:13:43,089 How's Jill enjoying her first time buying in bulk? 306 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,341 She was scared at first, 307 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,462 but last I saw, she had a case of vitamin E 308 00:13:48,487 --> 00:13:51,697 and enough AA batteries to send her vibrator to the Moon. 309 00:13:53,423 --> 00:13:56,525 I think we just bought our last pickle. 310 00:13:57,355 --> 00:14:00,392 Geez, that bucket's bigger than Victor. 311 00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:01,883 (laughs) 312 00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:03,493 Mom. 313 00:14:03,528 --> 00:14:05,695 What? Marjorie never makes me laugh. 314 00:14:05,747 --> 00:14:07,113 You should be enjoying this. 315 00:14:07,198 --> 00:14:08,865 Yeah, lighten up. 316 00:14:09,228 --> 00:14:11,834 Actually, I think you're being a little too light. 317 00:14:12,556 --> 00:14:14,337 What's that supposed to mean? 318 00:14:15,374 --> 00:14:16,349 I'm sorry, 319 00:14:16,374 --> 00:14:19,125 but for a woman who's carrying around her dead husband, 320 00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:20,877 you don't seem very upset. 321 00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:23,399 (sighs) Of course I'm upset. 322 00:14:23,868 --> 00:14:25,442 Then why aren't you showing it? 323 00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:26,564 How many times 324 00:14:26,589 --> 00:14:28,251 have you told us keeping things bottled up 325 00:14:28,276 --> 00:14:30,509 is a great way to end up with a bottle in your hand? 326 00:14:30,722 --> 00:14:32,659 Oh, my God, you're just like a woodpecker. 327 00:14:32,691 --> 00:14:34,003 You're gonna keep pecking at me 328 00:14:34,028 --> 00:14:36,419 until I feel the way you want me to feel. 329 00:14:36,444 --> 00:14:38,144 I was just trying to help. 330 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:41,087 Want to help? Leave me alone. 331 00:14:41,293 --> 00:14:43,627 - Marjorie, I really think... - I don't want to hear it. 332 00:14:43,652 --> 00:14:45,118 I'll be in the car. 333 00:14:50,878 --> 00:14:52,408 Really messed that up. 334 00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,077 Yes, you did. 335 00:14:58,575 --> 00:15:00,492 This may have been a mistake. 336 00:15:07,079 --> 00:15:08,778 WENDY: What did you say to Marjorie? 337 00:15:08,927 --> 00:15:09,927 (phones buzzing) 338 00:15:10,011 --> 00:15:11,789 CHRISTY: Butt out, Nosey Nancy. 339 00:15:12,396 --> 00:15:13,718 WENDY: Hey. 340 00:15:14,119 --> 00:15:15,952 BONNIE: I know what she said. 341 00:15:16,466 --> 00:15:18,429 WENDY: Then you tell me. 342 00:15:18,462 --> 00:15:21,976 CHRISTY: Mom, shut up. 343 00:15:22,064 --> 00:15:23,563 TAMMY: What's going on? 344 00:15:24,248 --> 00:15:26,366 WENDY: Christy pissed off Marjorie. 345 00:15:26,406 --> 00:15:28,406 TAMMY: Is that why no one's talking? 346 00:15:28,431 --> 00:15:30,014 BONNIE: What do you think? 347 00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:32,873 TAMMY: Can someone send me a life in Candy Crush? 348 00:15:35,245 --> 00:15:37,835 CHRISTY: I was just trying to help. 349 00:15:39,193 --> 00:15:42,111 Sorry, I don't know how I made that happen. 350 00:15:44,841 --> 00:15:47,457 Good Lord, would you all just stop? 351 00:15:47,482 --> 00:15:48,393 What's going on? 352 00:15:48,771 --> 00:15:50,094 They're texting about me. 353 00:15:50,119 --> 00:15:51,740 What? No. Candy Crush. 354 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,193 You know what, Marjorie, we were. 355 00:15:55,685 --> 00:15:56,828 And everyone agrees with me. 356 00:15:56,860 --> 00:15:59,458 What? No. Candy Crush. 357 00:16:00,482 --> 00:16:02,521 Damn, I'm missing all the action. 358 00:16:02,935 --> 00:16:05,410 This is why I need one of those self-driving cars. 359 00:16:05,997 --> 00:16:07,832 There are self-driving cars? 360 00:16:07,857 --> 00:16:10,021 How long was I in prison? 361 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:13,177 Fine, Marjorie, I'll shut up. 362 00:16:13,202 --> 00:16:15,152 Go ahead and grieve any way you want. 363 00:16:15,238 --> 00:16:18,239 I'm not grieving. That's the problem. 364 00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:19,538 Finally! 365 00:16:20,042 --> 00:16:22,655 I mean... go on. 366 00:16:23,679 --> 00:16:26,413 You know what my first feeling was when I heard the news? 367 00:16:27,046 --> 00:16:29,049 First thing that went through my head? 368 00:16:29,749 --> 00:16:31,030 Relief. 369 00:16:31,671 --> 00:16:34,788 Not shock. Not sadness. Relief. 370 00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:38,926 That's totally understandable. Victor was suffering. 371 00:16:38,978 --> 00:16:42,358 No, I was relieved for me. 372 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:47,067 You don't know how many times I pulled up to the house 373 00:16:47,103 --> 00:16:48,579 and didn't want to go inside. 374 00:16:48,604 --> 00:16:50,272 I felt like a monster. 375 00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:53,167 - How were you a monster? - (sighs) 376 00:16:53,192 --> 00:16:55,210 You were always there for him. 377 00:16:55,528 --> 00:16:57,244 Then what's wrong with me? 378 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,363 I cried more over my cat. 379 00:16:59,448 --> 00:17:01,421 There was some discussion of that. 380 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,753 Marjorie, I see this a lot at the hospital. 381 00:17:05,788 --> 00:17:09,039 - (sighs) - When people are sick for a long time, 382 00:17:09,234 --> 00:17:12,858 their families mourn them long before they're gone. 383 00:17:13,936 --> 00:17:15,095 Huh. 384 00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:17,631 Where was that nugget 150 miles ago? 385 00:17:17,698 --> 00:17:20,522 I actually said it, but you all talked over me. 386 00:17:23,523 --> 00:17:27,780 The point is, it doesn't mean you didn't care. 387 00:17:30,146 --> 00:17:33,375 Thank you, Wendy. That's helpful. 388 00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,164 Wait a minute. 389 00:17:35,189 --> 00:17:36,889 She's helpful, and I'm not? 390 00:17:36,914 --> 00:17:38,831 Not your day, woodpecker. 391 00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:46,994 So... 392 00:17:47,106 --> 00:17:49,640 six-hour drive, and he just ended up 393 00:17:49,665 --> 00:17:51,131 in a different part of the kitchen. 394 00:17:53,068 --> 00:17:55,169 Did Victor have a second favorite place? 395 00:17:55,221 --> 00:17:56,837 Yeah, did he run over any other animals 396 00:17:56,862 --> 00:17:59,112 on the way to doing something romantic? 397 00:17:59,225 --> 00:18:01,576 I think I'm gonna keep him here for now. 398 00:18:01,928 --> 00:18:03,510 Next to the sugar and flour? 399 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,131 That's a bad biscuit waiting to happen. 400 00:18:07,584 --> 00:18:09,393 I'm just not ready to let him go. 401 00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:11,652 Take all the time you need. 402 00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:13,938 I will. 403 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,905 Thank you. 404 00:18:16,551 --> 00:18:18,518 (whispers): Helpful. 405 00:18:19,838 --> 00:18:22,029 I'm really lucky to have you. 406 00:18:22,081 --> 00:18:23,572 All of you. 407 00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:27,284 Excuse me, Boz Scaggs needs a little loving. 408 00:18:27,370 --> 00:18:29,518 He was Victor's favorite. 409 00:18:31,290 --> 00:18:32,873 Christy, I changed my mind. 410 00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:35,042 I don't want to be buried. I want to be cremated. 411 00:18:35,094 --> 00:18:37,628 - Why? - So I can be with you forever. 412 00:18:37,713 --> 00:18:40,631 Or sprinkled on the freeway. We'll see. 413 00:18:43,527 --> 00:18:44,699 Hey, guys. 414 00:18:46,308 --> 00:18:49,258 (crying) 415 00:19:01,252 --> 00:19:03,445 And then out of the darkness, 416 00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:07,046 the flying monkeys zoom, zoom, zoom, 417 00:19:07,071 --> 00:19:08,720 - zoom, zoom! - What's going on? 418 00:19:08,745 --> 00:19:10,778 Turned out Tammy did a production of Wicked in prison. 419 00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:12,780 She's filling us in on what we missed. 420 00:19:12,805 --> 00:19:15,892 No talking in the theater. And cell phones off. 421 00:19:16,759 --> 00:19:19,812 And then the bad witch confronts the wizard, 422 00:19:19,837 --> 00:19:22,836 and guess what? Turns out he's her father. 423 00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:24,527 Boom! Gut punch. 424 00:19:24,552 --> 00:19:26,552 Just like Luke and Darth Vader. 425 00:19:26,577 --> 00:19:29,259 And then Luke screams "No!" 426 00:19:29,284 --> 00:19:31,284 And then Darth Vader chops his hand off. 427 00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:32,786 "Ow!" 428 00:19:32,811 --> 00:19:35,158 And then Luke gets a robot hand. 429 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,252 - Does she realize she jumped to Star Wars? - (Tammy imitating light-saber) 430 00:19:39,277 --> 00:19:41,587 Who cares? She's killing it. 431 00:19:43,998 --> 00:19:45,914 Now, see, I would have gone to this show. 432 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:49,769 By the way, you're still taking me to Cher. 433 00:19:49,805 --> 00:19:51,805 Fine, but I'm wearing this.