1
00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:01,376
- Previously on Mom...
- You forgot to wear

2
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,125
the only diamond
earrings you've ever had?

3
00:00:03,150 --> 00:00:05,218
Where was the last place you saw them?

4
00:00:05,289 --> 00:00:06,516
In the middle of a poker table.

5
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,956
Anything but seven.

6
00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:10,986
Seven out.

7
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,545
No! That's my mom's bail money.

8
00:00:13,751 --> 00:00:15,781
I can give you a coupon to the buffet.

9
00:00:15,805 --> 00:00:16,854
Can I bet it?

10
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:19,445
- The money's gone.
- Christy, it is time to admit

11
00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:21,486
you've got another problem.

12
00:00:22,484 --> 00:00:23,622
Why aren't you eating?

13
00:00:23,882 --> 00:00:26,314
I just came from a
Gamblers Anonymous meeting.

14
00:00:26,399 --> 00:00:28,615
- Their food puts AA to shame.
- Hmm.

15
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:32,070
One guy makes jambalaya with
his own alligator sausage.

16
00:00:32,122 --> 00:00:35,039
Oh, poor alligator.

17
00:00:35,075 --> 00:00:38,242
So you probably don't want to
hear about the baby lamb chops.

18
00:00:38,843 --> 00:00:40,411
I do not.

19
00:00:41,069 --> 00:00:42,769
But I'm glad GA's working for you.

20
00:00:42,799 --> 00:00:45,917
The food's working, but I
don't know about the rest of it.

21
00:00:46,195 --> 00:00:48,920
Most of the shares are old
guys talking about horse racing,

22
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,673
and the "good old days,"
when you could smoke inside.

23
00:00:51,991 --> 00:00:53,991
Those were good days, Christy.

24
00:00:55,828 --> 00:00:57,944
Damn, what I'd give to finish my ciggy

25
00:00:57,969 --> 00:01:00,431
and stub it out in
these mashed potatoes.

26
00:01:01,242 --> 00:01:04,272
The thing is, in AA, we
give up drugs and alcohol

27
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:07,271
'cause... holy cow, do we
like drugs and alcohol.

28
00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:08,740
But in GA,

29
00:01:08,775 --> 00:01:11,275
I have to give up stuff I
don't even have a problem with.

30
00:01:11,579 --> 00:01:12,891
I can't play bingo.

31
00:01:12,916 --> 00:01:15,416
Bingo. How is that
gonna destroy my life?

32
00:01:15,441 --> 00:01:17,390
I lost an aunt to church bingo.

33
00:01:17,552 --> 00:01:19,594
There's a dark side to that game.

34
00:01:19,754 --> 00:01:21,336
I'm not even supposed to flip a coin,

35
00:01:21,361 --> 00:01:24,256
which frankly, is the only way
to get my mom to do anything.

36
00:01:24,342 --> 00:01:26,842
Look, you just got started in GA.

37
00:01:26,928 --> 00:01:28,594
Y-You got to give it a chance.

38
00:01:28,679 --> 00:01:31,180
I didn't just start, I got
my 90 day key chain today.

39
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,749
You did? Congratulations.

40
00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:36,685
For what? When I got sober for 90 days,

41
00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,497
that was a huge accomplishment.

42
00:01:38,522 --> 00:01:40,189
I mean, I wanted a parade.

43
00:01:40,241 --> 00:01:41,440
And I'm not talking

44
00:01:41,525 --> 00:01:43,192
three Shriners in a convertible,

45
00:01:43,217 --> 00:01:46,051
I'm talking Al Roker pointing
up at a giant inflatable me.

46
00:01:46,276 --> 00:01:49,018
Sometimes I think your
problem is low self-esteem.

47
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:50,804
Other times, not so much.

48
00:01:52,486 --> 00:01:55,070
Yeah, well, I've made up my mind.

49
00:01:55,611 --> 00:01:57,539
I'm gonna stop going to GA.

50
00:01:57,768 --> 00:01:59,174
As it is,

51
00:01:59,210 --> 00:02:01,627
I don't even have time for
the things I need to do.

52
00:02:01,712 --> 00:02:02,962
Like what?

53
00:02:03,445 --> 00:02:04,924
Well, like...

54
00:02:09,951 --> 00:02:11,776
I just don't want to go anymore.

55
00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:16,692
There she is.

56
00:02:16,727 --> 00:02:18,893
Show me that 90 day key chain.

57
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,897
Yeah, Mom, about that.

58
00:02:22,315 --> 00:02:23,649
I think I'm actually just gonna...

59
00:02:23,734 --> 00:02:25,887
Surprise!

60
00:02:27,071 --> 00:02:28,637
Surprise.

61
00:02:29,038 --> 00:02:30,254
Oh, my God.

62
00:02:30,279 --> 00:02:32,245
We are so proud of you.

63
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:34,243
You had a problem, and you addressed it

64
00:02:34,295 --> 00:02:36,410
with another program. It's inspiring.

65
00:02:36,435 --> 00:02:38,968
You guys, this is so
totally unnecessary.

66
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:41,410
That's what I said. I mean,
when did we start doing this?

67
00:02:42,878 --> 00:02:46,588
Seriously, this girl sneezes,
and we throw her a party.

68
00:02:46,674 --> 00:02:47,956
Shush.

69
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,950
I made a cake.

70
00:02:50,073 --> 00:02:51,440
You made that?

71
00:02:52,263 --> 00:02:54,513
You didn't just take it
out of Marjorie's hand

72
00:02:54,538 --> 00:02:55,871
when she walked in the door?

73
00:02:57,128 --> 00:02:58,932
I made it from scratch.

74
00:02:58,957 --> 00:03:00,957
Out of the box.

75
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,448
Maybe I don't know what scratch means.

76
00:03:15,926 --> 00:03:20,659
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

77
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,729
Let me get this straight.

78
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,314
Your mom made you a cake,

79
00:03:27,399 --> 00:03:29,353
and that's gonna keep
you in Gamblers Anonymous?

80
00:03:29,378 --> 00:03:30,544
You don't understand.

81
00:03:30,596 --> 00:03:32,470
She has never baked me a cake.

82
00:03:32,495 --> 00:03:34,337
One birthday, she
gave me a martini olive

83
00:03:34,362 --> 00:03:35,682
with a candle in it.

84
00:03:35,987 --> 00:03:37,486
That's so sad.

85
00:03:37,511 --> 00:03:39,924
Not really, I got a little buzz off it.

86
00:03:40,281 --> 00:03:43,596
I don't usually do this.
I'm gonna give you a hug.

87
00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:48,909
Aw. You're like a blanket
right out of the dryer.

88
00:03:49,591 --> 00:03:52,331
You know, if you're gonna stick with GA,

89
00:03:52,356 --> 00:03:54,406
you might want to give it an honest try.

90
00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:57,172
- I've been trying.
- Oh. Have you shared?

91
00:03:57,402 --> 00:03:59,876
- No.
- Have you made any friends?

92
00:03:59,901 --> 00:04:03,072
- No.
- Do you have a sponsor?

93
00:04:03,157 --> 00:04:05,440
Stop trying to trick me,
just tell me what to do.

94
00:04:05,473 --> 00:04:07,128
Any of the three things I just said.

95
00:04:13,089 --> 00:04:16,143
Good Lord, it's like
a Sizzler up in there.

96
00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:25,261
Hi, I'm Christy.

97
00:04:25,286 --> 00:04:26,948
Lucy. How you doing?

98
00:04:27,088 --> 00:04:28,887
Okay, I guess.

99
00:04:29,438 --> 00:04:31,238
I'm looking for a sponsor.

100
00:04:34,323 --> 00:04:35,917
Geez, you mean me?

101
00:04:36,422 --> 00:04:38,471
I got three days.

102
00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:42,418
That new casino off
Highway 12 is killing me.

103
00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:46,479
- I haven't been there.
- Oh, it's great.

104
00:04:46,504 --> 00:04:47,909
The chairs by the slots?

105
00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,401
Super comfortable.

106
00:04:49,426 --> 00:04:51,792
I don't even have to
bring my butt cushion.

107
00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:55,442
I'm gonna see if there's
any cornbread left.

108
00:04:55,793 --> 00:04:57,307
Good luck.

109
00:04:58,669 --> 00:05:00,097
I wouldn't shout "good luck" in here.

110
00:05:00,122 --> 00:05:02,026
People get a little twitchy.

111
00:05:03,253 --> 00:05:04,706
Oh, right. Sorry.

112
00:05:04,731 --> 00:05:07,098
I'm kidding. Hi, I'm Ned.

113
00:05:07,123 --> 00:05:08,190
Christy.

114
00:05:08,215 --> 00:05:10,010
Saw you take a key chain yesterday.

115
00:05:10,346 --> 00:05:11,767
How's it going?

116
00:05:12,274 --> 00:05:13,606
Okay.

117
00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:16,924
I mean... I'm not sure.

118
00:05:17,754 --> 00:05:19,557
Can I be honest with you, Ned?

119
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:23,307
- I don't think I belong here.
- Want to bet?

120
00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:25,987
I'm serious.

121
00:05:26,012 --> 00:05:28,512
I've had three major gambling incidents.

122
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:31,804
Three times in my whole
life. Is that an addiction?

123
00:05:31,829 --> 00:05:34,753
'Cause if so, then I'm also
addicted to Intro to Algebra.

124
00:05:38,078 --> 00:05:39,744
Hey, Mr. Munson. Whatcha doing?

125
00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:41,720
Waiting for my friend who promised

126
00:05:41,745 --> 00:05:44,081
to take me to my radiation treatment.

127
00:05:44,106 --> 00:05:47,604
Oh, God. What kind of
heartless friend forgets to...

128
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:54,154
Oh, my God, it's me, isn't it?

129
00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:56,318
I am so sorry.

130
00:05:56,343 --> 00:05:58,510
Time flies when you're
hosing out a dumpster.

131
00:05:59,034 --> 00:06:02,191
Can you give me, uh, 20
minutes to get cleaned up?

132
00:06:02,276 --> 00:06:04,893
Well, let me check with my cancer.

133
00:06:10,263 --> 00:06:11,863
What do you think, boss?

134
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,719
Mr. Prostate said we got to go.

135
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:25,047
For years I was just a racetrack guy.

136
00:06:25,099 --> 00:06:27,415
Then the racetrack opened a poker club.

137
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,305
Which was convenient,
until it cost me my job.

138
00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:32,954
But... I figured, see,
that was a good thing,

139
00:06:32,979 --> 00:06:35,305
because it was obvious I was
gonna make more money gambling

140
00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:37,630
than I would selling
retractable canvas awnings.

141
00:06:39,468 --> 00:06:42,371
And then I took a second
mortgage out on the house,

142
00:06:42,506 --> 00:06:43,839
without telling my wife.

143
00:06:44,118 --> 00:06:45,401
And when you get away

144
00:06:45,453 --> 00:06:47,536
with a secret second mortgage,

145
00:06:47,572 --> 00:06:49,433
then it's obvious that
the universe is telling you

146
00:06:49,581 --> 00:06:51,864
to dip into your
daughter's college fund.

147
00:06:53,828 --> 00:06:56,684
- Was that your bottom?
- No, no.

148
00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:58,224
That was a couple of years later,

149
00:06:58,249 --> 00:07:00,049
when I was lying in the street

150
00:07:00,084 --> 00:07:03,262
with a broken kneecap and my
teeth scattered all around me.

151
00:07:04,449 --> 00:07:07,339
Yikes, I thought that only
happened in the movies.

152
00:07:07,364 --> 00:07:09,957
No, it also happens in Oakland.

153
00:07:10,981 --> 00:07:12,199
Um...

154
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:17,559
One of my bookie's "colleagues"
beat me with a flashlight.

155
00:07:17,768 --> 00:07:19,568
And then he kicked me, and he said,

156
00:07:19,604 --> 00:07:21,223
"You still owe us the
money," which to me seemed,

157
00:07:21,248 --> 00:07:23,395
you know, a bit unfair.

158
00:07:24,692 --> 00:07:26,028
Wow.

159
00:07:26,053 --> 00:07:28,087
So I went to a Gamblers
Anonymous meeting

160
00:07:28,112 --> 00:07:29,590
before I even went to the
dentist, and of course,

161
00:07:29,614 --> 00:07:31,113
I should've gone to the dentist first,

162
00:07:31,274 --> 00:07:33,725
because nobody could
understand a word I was saying.

163
00:07:35,483 --> 00:07:40,286
That was 22 year ago,
and, uh, it saved my life.

164
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:42,958
See, that's the thing.

165
00:07:43,010 --> 00:07:46,689
I sit in meetings and hear
story after story like yours,

166
00:07:46,714 --> 00:07:49,660
but I don't relate to any of it.

167
00:07:49,685 --> 00:07:51,612
My gambling looked nothing like that.

168
00:07:51,969 --> 00:07:54,090
Well, there are two types of gamblers.

169
00:07:54,115 --> 00:07:56,805
There are... cucumbers
and there are pickles.

170
00:07:57,340 --> 00:07:58,774
A cucumber goes

171
00:07:58,809 --> 00:08:00,893
to Vegas and loses a little money

172
00:08:00,918 --> 00:08:02,251
or maybe even a lot of money,

173
00:08:02,276 --> 00:08:04,160
and then goes back to a regular life.

174
00:08:04,535 --> 00:08:07,650
A pickle goes to Vegas, loses everything

175
00:08:07,898 --> 00:08:09,847
and then moves to Vegas.

176
00:08:11,176 --> 00:08:12,926
I'm pretty sure I'm a cucumber.

177
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,090
You may be, but you got to remember

178
00:08:15,115 --> 00:08:17,282
that a cucumber can become a pickle.

179
00:08:17,307 --> 00:08:20,168
But a pickle can never go
back to being a cucumber.

180
00:08:21,059 --> 00:08:22,915
So how do I know which one I am?

181
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,335
You could try a little
controlled gambling,

182
00:08:26,387 --> 00:08:27,934
see how that goes.

183
00:08:31,151 --> 00:08:33,989
A-Are you telling me to gamble?

184
00:08:35,489 --> 00:08:37,289
Is this a trap? I...

185
00:08:37,848 --> 00:08:40,482
If you can gamble a
little and then stop,

186
00:08:40,518 --> 00:08:43,270
well, more than likely,
you don't have a problem.

187
00:08:43,295 --> 00:08:46,332
But you got to be careful,
'cause if it triggers

188
00:08:46,357 --> 00:08:50,301
a-a bigger binge, well,
then you got to call me.

189
00:08:52,542 --> 00:08:53,833
Okay. Mm-hmm.

190
00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:58,341
I got to tell you, it's really weird

191
00:08:58,369 --> 00:09:00,953
to take recovery advice from
a guy who's drinking a beer.

192
00:09:00,978 --> 00:09:02,895
Mm.

193
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,054
Hard cider, but I feel you.

194
00:09:09,046 --> 00:09:10,593
How you feeling?

195
00:09:10,845 --> 00:09:13,960
My advice? Don't get cancer.

196
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:17,353
Making a mental note.

197
00:09:17,388 --> 00:09:19,722
Mm. What kind of car is this?

198
00:09:19,747 --> 00:09:20,963
An '85 Firebird.

199
00:09:20,988 --> 00:09:24,148
Whoo, oh, that is a sweet ride.

200
00:09:24,173 --> 00:09:26,171
Yeah. It was in 1985.

201
00:09:28,297 --> 00:09:31,882
Now it's 3,000 pounds of scrap
metal and a cassette player.

202
00:09:32,152 --> 00:09:34,569
Well, well, still, I
appreciate you driving me.

203
00:09:34,594 --> 00:09:36,177
It's the least I can do.

204
00:09:36,202 --> 00:09:37,563
Well, I would argue the least you can do

205
00:09:37,588 --> 00:09:39,371
is remember you said you would do it.

206
00:09:41,128 --> 00:09:43,412
Again, sorry about that.

207
00:09:44,101 --> 00:09:45,789
Want to make it up to me?

208
00:09:45,932 --> 00:09:50,117
- We've been over this. I'm engaged.
- Oh, no, no, no.

209
00:09:51,077 --> 00:09:53,577
I'm thinking you could let me drive.

210
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:55,890
You're blind.

211
00:09:55,915 --> 00:09:59,937
I am? Well, at least
I'm still white and rich.

212
00:10:01,098 --> 00:10:03,851
I don't think you
driving is a good idea.

213
00:10:03,876 --> 00:10:06,710
It's a terrible idea. I know that.

214
00:10:06,735 --> 00:10:10,210
But right now, cancer is
in charge of everything.

215
00:10:10,593 --> 00:10:12,441
I'd like to be in control of something

216
00:10:12,493 --> 00:10:13,776
for a couple of minutes.

217
00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:16,648
Even if it's only an old Firebird.

218
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,147
Light pole dead ahead!

219
00:10:24,171 --> 00:10:25,287
Oh!

220
00:10:25,339 --> 00:10:27,289
Ah!

221
00:10:27,341 --> 00:10:29,296
Ooh. Oh, what is this, a V-8?

222
00:10:29,321 --> 00:10:31,901
V-6, and please, slow down.

223
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:44,585
I baked you a cake!

224
00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:49,895
- What?
- You're gambling? You had 90 days.

225
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,695
It's okay, this is called
"controlled gambling."

226
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,976
You can't control anything.

227
00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:57,551
And I've known you
almost your entire life.

228
00:10:59,394 --> 00:11:01,226
I bought ten scratchers.

229
00:11:01,251 --> 00:11:03,468
I'm gonna do three of
them and leave the rest.

230
00:11:03,493 --> 00:11:05,459
Which will prove I can
stop whenever I want.

231
00:11:05,484 --> 00:11:06,921
This is insane.

232
00:11:06,946 --> 00:11:09,026
This is like when I said I
could drink on an airplane

233
00:11:09,051 --> 00:11:11,492
because I'm not
technically on planet Earth.

234
00:11:12,742 --> 00:11:15,781
You're never technically
on planet Earth.

235
00:11:15,806 --> 00:11:19,734
Now back off. Ned from my GA
meeting told me to do this.

236
00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:22,038
Ned?

237
00:11:22,721 --> 00:11:25,976
Okay, which one of you idiots is Ned?!

238
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,651
All right, I'm gonna
have a meatball sandwich,

239
00:11:30,676 --> 00:11:31,808
and then we're gonna talk.

240
00:11:36,258 --> 00:11:39,452
She barged into my GA meeting
like a cracked out giraffe

241
00:11:39,477 --> 00:11:41,093
and yelled at the guy who's helping me.

242
00:11:41,145 --> 00:11:44,147
I didn't yell, I don't
yell. I don't have to yell.

243
00:11:44,172 --> 00:11:45,288
You yell all the time.

244
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:47,123
Do you want me to
yell? 'Cause I'll yell.

245
00:11:48,315 --> 00:11:49,983
You kind of asked for that.

246
00:11:51,322 --> 00:11:54,177
Look, I had my doubts
about whether I need GA,

247
00:11:54,202 --> 00:11:56,560
and Ned suggested I
try controlled gambling.

248
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:57,944
Ridiculous, right?

249
00:11:57,969 --> 00:12:00,375
- Well, actually, Bonnie...
- Work with me!

250
00:12:01,212 --> 00:12:02,812
Yelling.

251
00:12:04,065 --> 00:12:06,023
When a newcomer is really struggling

252
00:12:06,048 --> 00:12:07,810
with doubts about being an alcoholic,

253
00:12:07,862 --> 00:12:10,897
I have suggested trying
some controlled drinking.

254
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:12,922
Why wasn't that offered to me?

255
00:12:13,507 --> 00:12:14,984
Because you came to your first meeting

256
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:16,485
on a stolen lawnmower.

257
00:12:17,335 --> 00:12:18,788
You weren't there.

258
00:12:18,823 --> 00:12:21,457
She didn't have to be.
That story's legendary.

259
00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:22,828
I heard all you were wearing were

260
00:12:22,853 --> 00:12:24,519
go-go boots and a hockey jersey.

261
00:12:24,806 --> 00:12:25,937
Is that true?

262
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,774
Yeah, Wendy, I got kicked
out of a hockey game.

263
00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:29,381
I couldn't find my car or my pants.

264
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,200
Over the past week,
I've played lotto twice,

265
00:12:33,225 --> 00:12:34,858
did a little online poker.

266
00:12:35,062 --> 00:12:37,506
Even bet a busboy I
could work an entire shift

267
00:12:37,531 --> 00:12:39,257
without saying the word "enjoy."

268
00:12:39,654 --> 00:12:41,237
So I went with mangia,

269
00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:42,929
but it made everyone uncomfortable.

270
00:12:44,599 --> 00:12:46,421
But the point is, none
of it triggered me,

271
00:12:46,446 --> 00:12:48,423
which proves I am not
addicted to gambling.

272
00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:49,652
Yes, you are.

273
00:12:49,687 --> 00:12:50,853
Maybe Christy's right.

274
00:12:50,905 --> 00:12:52,416
I mean, I know someone
who got really drunk

275
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,523
on New Year's Eve, slept
with her Uber driver,

276
00:12:54,548 --> 00:12:57,039
and mistook a neighborhood
raccoon for her cat.

277
00:12:58,413 --> 00:13:00,363
She got herpes and rabies in one night,

278
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,104
but she's not an alcoholic.

279
00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:04,356
There you go.

280
00:13:04,381 --> 00:13:07,632
I'm the gambling version of
her disease-riddled friend.

281
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:10,873
And later, if you do
discover you have a problem,

282
00:13:10,898 --> 00:13:12,890
- you know where to go.
- Well...

283
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,187
everyone at this table can suck it.

284
00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:20,921
I gambled three times.
You keep saying that,

285
00:13:20,946 --> 00:13:23,226
but you've always been
a degenerate gambler.

286
00:13:23,251 --> 00:13:24,453
What are you talking about?

287
00:13:24,478 --> 00:13:25,789
By the time you were in third grade,

288
00:13:25,814 --> 00:13:27,396
you were hustling drunks at pool.

289
00:13:27,421 --> 00:13:29,504
That's 'cause someone used
the bar at the bus station

290
00:13:29,529 --> 00:13:30,726
as day care.

291
00:13:30,751 --> 00:13:33,919
It takes a village, Christy.

292
00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:35,531
And the syrup goes in the fridge

293
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:37,566
unless you also want
to gamble with botulism.

294
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:40,367
"Refrigerate after opening."

295
00:13:46,257 --> 00:13:49,245
It's like you want me to
have a gambling problem

296
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:50,890
just so you can be right;
you're rooting against me.

297
00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:52,164
Rooting against you?

298
00:13:52,189 --> 00:13:53,883
Did I not stand in this very kitchen

299
00:13:53,918 --> 00:13:56,502
and spend ten hours making you a cake?

300
00:13:57,718 --> 00:14:00,296
You are on your way to
getting a law degree,

301
00:14:00,321 --> 00:14:02,785
and if you're not careful you
can kiss that dream good-bye.

302
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:05,061
You know what I think? I
think all you care about

303
00:14:05,096 --> 00:14:06,860
is that I become a lawyer
so you're off the hook.

304
00:14:06,885 --> 00:14:08,931
What hook? In your twisted mind,

305
00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:11,077
if I become a success,
then it won't matter

306
00:14:11,102 --> 00:14:12,671
that you were the world's worst mother.

307
00:14:12,696 --> 00:14:14,196
Well, guess what.

308
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,771
You'll never be off the hook

309
00:14:15,823 --> 00:14:17,606
no matter how many
terrible cakes you make.

310
00:14:17,658 --> 00:14:20,026
- You said it was delicious.
- I lied!

311
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:22,843
It tasted like salad dressing.

312
00:14:22,868 --> 00:14:24,282
How does that happen?

313
00:14:24,307 --> 00:14:25,973
We were out of milk.

314
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,985
- Whoa.
- What?

315
00:14:31,289 --> 00:14:34,090
It's a check for $5,432.

316
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:36,959
Is it made out to me?
Did I sell my book?

317
00:14:37,368 --> 00:14:39,524
No, it's an excess check.

318
00:14:39,549 --> 00:14:42,798
What the hell's an excess
check, and how do I get one?

319
00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:44,934
It's left over from my student loan.

320
00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:47,136
It's for school supplies
and living expenses.

321
00:14:47,161 --> 00:14:48,281
- Well, then give it to me.
- No.

322
00:14:48,306 --> 00:14:51,474
- You can't be trusted. No.
- Oh, my God, would you stop? Ugh!

323
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:54,485
And FYI, no one is buying
your young adult novel.

324
00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:56,729
You're a decade late
for teenage vampires.

325
00:14:57,204 --> 00:15:00,454
And FYI to you, I changed
it to teenage robots.

326
00:15:00,479 --> 00:15:02,813
And one of them's transgender.

327
00:15:06,824 --> 00:15:08,624
I mean, is Christy right?

328
00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:11,077
Am I really so selfish
that the only reason

329
00:15:11,102 --> 00:15:12,795
I want my daughter to be a success

330
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:15,399
is so that I'll feel better
about being a bad mom?

331
00:15:20,445 --> 00:15:22,612
I guess it's possible.

332
00:15:22,891 --> 00:15:25,007
I mean, I know I can be selfish.

333
00:15:25,032 --> 00:15:26,702
And if I forget, I've
got people reminding me

334
00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:28,282
every ten minutes.

335
00:15:29,793 --> 00:15:35,352
But I think maybe...
this time it's about love.

336
00:15:35,377 --> 00:15:37,376
Is that so hard to believe?

337
00:15:41,763 --> 00:15:44,931
Something one could
say in this moment...

338
00:15:44,956 --> 00:15:46,751
is that I have indeed changed a little

339
00:15:46,776 --> 00:15:48,341
in the last couple of years.

340
00:15:48,993 --> 00:15:51,993
I do things for other people
that don't just benefit me.

341
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,954
Like this ride to the
doctor. Nothing in it for me.

342
00:15:55,039 --> 00:15:56,205
Nothing.

343
00:15:56,741 --> 00:15:58,923
Not even conversation.

344
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,494
Are you pouting because I
won't let you drive again?

345
00:16:06,519 --> 00:16:08,102
Yep.

346
00:16:10,784 --> 00:16:14,619
Hi, Ned, it's Christy from GA,

347
00:16:14,644 --> 00:16:18,883
and, uh, I'm in the parking lot

348
00:16:18,908 --> 00:16:21,704
of that casino off Highway 12.

349
00:16:22,508 --> 00:16:25,938
And I've got $5,000 in my hand.

350
00:16:30,466 --> 00:16:32,313
So, anyway...

351
00:16:32,338 --> 00:16:34,446
hope you're having a good afternoon.

352
00:16:34,623 --> 00:16:37,274
And if you have a chance, call me back.

353
00:16:37,488 --> 00:16:40,072
Okay, thanks. Bye.

354
00:16:43,851 --> 00:16:45,909
Oh, screw it.

355
00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:00,440
Mom, I need your help.

356
00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:04,334
Don't think about gambling.

357
00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:05,419
Don't think about gambling.

358
00:17:05,443 --> 00:17:06,527
Don't think about blackjack.

359
00:17:06,552 --> 00:17:08,172
Don't think about the
Wheel of Fortune slots

360
00:17:08,196 --> 00:17:09,916
with the progressive
jackpot that's probably

361
00:17:09,947 --> 00:17:11,628
six figures right now.

362
00:17:11,995 --> 00:17:13,782
What if I just have a shrimp cocktail

363
00:17:13,807 --> 00:17:14,951
and watch other people gamble?

364
00:17:14,976 --> 00:17:16,589
That'd be fine, right?

365
00:17:16,614 --> 00:17:18,454
I think it would be fine. Let's go!

366
00:17:18,479 --> 00:17:20,955
I'm here. I'm here.

367
00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:22,708
Oh, thank God.

368
00:17:22,733 --> 00:17:25,628
Oh, I'm so proud of you for calling me.

369
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:26,940
You still got the money, right?

370
00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:28,264
Show me the money. Where is it?

371
00:17:28,299 --> 00:17:30,432
I put it in the trunk.
It was talking to me.

372
00:17:30,468 --> 00:17:32,162
Okay, don't take this to
mean I don't trust you,

373
00:17:32,186 --> 00:17:33,530
but I'm gonna go check if you're lying.

374
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:36,170
Mom, wait. You were right.

375
00:17:36,559 --> 00:17:38,021
Go on.

376
00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:42,311
I do have a gambling problem.

377
00:17:42,363 --> 00:17:44,230
But only when I have money.

378
00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:46,338
And since I so rarely have money,

379
00:17:46,363 --> 00:17:47,684
it doesn't come up that often.

380
00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:50,967
Man, if we'd been
rich, we'd both be dead.

381
00:17:51,732 --> 00:17:54,045
And what I said earlier was unfair.

382
00:17:54,070 --> 00:17:56,242
You really were just looking out for me.

383
00:17:57,357 --> 00:17:59,828
I realize that hasn't
always been the case,

384
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,997
so I get why you'd have your doubts.

385
00:18:03,068 --> 00:18:04,709
Wow.

386
00:18:05,104 --> 00:18:06,779
You've really changed.

387
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:13,142
- And I haven't at all.
- Aw...

388
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,584
I got here as fast as I could.

389
00:18:17,232 --> 00:18:19,348
- Did she gamble?
- She did not.

390
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,016
Good. Where's the money?

391
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:23,279
- In the trunk.
- Allegedly.

392
00:18:25,429 --> 00:18:28,501
I came as soon as I got
the message. Did you gamble?

393
00:18:28,526 --> 00:18:29,491
She did not.

394
00:18:29,527 --> 00:18:31,026
Good. Someone has the money, right?

395
00:18:31,078 --> 00:18:33,495
There are unconfirmed reports
that it's in the trunk.

396
00:18:33,531 --> 00:18:34,863
Go look if you don't believe me.

397
00:18:34,888 --> 00:18:36,137
Of course I believe you.

398
00:18:37,543 --> 00:18:38,842
Did we get here in time?

399
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,036
- Yes.
- Geez, Mom, did you call everyone?

400
00:18:41,061 --> 00:18:42,477
Yeah. I was really worried.

401
00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:44,552
- Scooch over, I'm coming in.
- Okay.

402
00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:45,958
There's no room for me.

403
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,854
Wendy, since you're out there,
go look in the trunk and see

404
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:49,044
if you can find $5,000.

405
00:18:49,096 --> 00:18:50,296
- What?
- Just do it!

406
00:18:50,381 --> 00:18:51,797
You don't have to yell.

407
00:18:52,883 --> 00:18:54,216
Thank you.

408
00:18:56,490 --> 00:18:59,982
It means so much to me
that you guys are all here.

409
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:02,691
- I'm sorry I'm such a screw-up.
- Oh...

410
00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:04,059
We're all screwups.

411
00:19:04,111 --> 00:19:05,527
That's why we love each other.

412
00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:06,528
No money back here.

413
00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:07,740
- Christy!
- Wait, found it.

414
00:19:07,765 --> 00:19:09,748
I never doubted you.

415
00:19:10,013 --> 00:19:11,595
Give it a quick count.

416
00:19:13,427 --> 00:19:15,248
Hang on, guys, I got to take this.

417
00:19:16,063 --> 00:19:17,729
Hi, Ned.

418
00:19:21,391 --> 00:19:23,975
Turns out I'm a pickle.

419
00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:26,911
Uh, Bonnie, I think
someone's stealing your car.

420
00:19:26,936 --> 00:19:29,043
Damn it, Mr. Munson!

421
00:19:34,169 --> 00:19:36,034
- Hey. 
- Hey.

422
00:19:36,059 --> 00:19:38,838
Did you try the bison tacos?

423
00:19:39,372 --> 00:19:43,676
No, I filled up on the
buffet at the casino.

424
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:47,680
- You gambled again?
- Yeah.

425
00:19:47,942 --> 00:19:50,325
Another first day.

426
00:19:50,852 --> 00:19:52,606
Pathetic, right?

427
00:19:52,895 --> 00:19:55,655
Not at all. I-I get it.

428
00:19:55,690 --> 00:19:57,323
Thank God we have a place to go.

429
00:19:57,358 --> 00:20:00,359
I know. And so convenient.

430
00:20:00,445 --> 00:20:04,989
Right off the freeway, ample
parking, five dollar tables.

431
00:20:06,037 --> 00:20:08,237
- I meant GA.
- Oh, right.

432
00:20:08,262 --> 00:20:10,418
Focus, Lucy!

433
00:20:11,379 --> 00:20:13,956
Hey, you want to be my sponsor?

434
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:17,159
I've only got one day myself.

435
00:20:17,184 --> 00:20:18,377
But, uh...

436
00:20:18,562 --> 00:20:21,614
But let me tell you something
that really helped me.

437
00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:24,467
There are two kinds of gamblers:

438
00:20:24,552 --> 00:20:26,719
cucumbers and pickles.

439
00:20:26,788 --> 00:20:30,164
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --