1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:04,171
[crying]:
I think you'll find our...
2
00:00:04,206 --> 00:00:07,174
Napa Chardonnay to have
hints of vanilla and caramel
3
00:00:07,209 --> 00:00:09,576
with a velvety smooth finish.
4
00:00:09,611 --> 00:00:10,844
[sobs]
5
00:00:10,879 --> 00:00:11,812
Are you all right?
6
00:00:11,847 --> 00:00:14,114
Some days are better
than others.
7
00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:16,517
Thanks for asking.
8
00:00:16,552 --> 00:00:18,452
[sniffs]
It's very good.
9
00:00:18,487 --> 00:00:21,622
Yeah, 2004 was a great
year for this wine.
10
00:00:21,657 --> 00:00:22,422
[sniffs]
11
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:24,124
Not so much for me.
12
00:00:24,159 --> 00:00:25,058
[sniffs]
13
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:27,427
Enjoy.
14
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:29,930
[clears throat]
15
00:00:29,965 --> 00:00:31,365
[sniffs]
16
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:35,269
So, did I talk you into that soufflé?
17
00:00:35,304 --> 00:00:38,472
- Uh, yeah, two.
- Good call.
18
00:00:38,507 --> 00:00:40,541
You won't want to share.
19
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,245
Oh, God.
20
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:46,513
[groans]
21
00:00:46,548 --> 00:00:49,616
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
22
00:00:49,651 --> 00:00:52,886
♪ Happy birthday
to you ♪
23
00:00:52,921 --> 00:00:56,590
♪ Happy birthday, dear... ♪
24
00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:58,625
♪ Ethel ♪
25
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:02,095
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
26
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,132
♪ And many more. ♪
27
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:12,840
Hm...
More butter and salt.
28
00:01:12,875 --> 00:01:15,442
They only need to live long
enough to pay the check.
29
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,446
Beat those egg whites gently...
30
00:01:19,481 --> 00:01:21,748
as if they were a small, annoying child.
31
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,553
Paul, you're on fire again.
32
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,525
Um, Christy, you got a second?
33
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,761
I can't talk now, Gabriel.
I'm working.
34
00:01:34,796 --> 00:01:36,363
Yeah, I know, but, uh, here's the thing.
35
00:01:36,398 --> 00:01:38,432
I-I'm getting a lot of complaints.
36
00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:41,935
Really?
About what?
37
00:01:41,970 --> 00:01:44,004
Well, apparently, one of my waitresses
38
00:01:44,039 --> 00:01:48,175
- is having a nervous breakdown.
- Is it Jennifer?
39
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,880
- No.
- Is it Carol?
40
00:01:52,915 --> 00:01:53,947
It's you!
41
00:01:53,982 --> 00:01:56,617
Gabriel, what does
this taste like to you?
42
00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:01,655
- Uh, mushrooms?
- The correct answer was "ass."
43
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,828
Listen, uh, maybe you should
take the rest of the night off.
44
00:02:07,863 --> 00:02:11,098
I can't afford to do that.
I have children to feed.
45
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:13,367
Not a problem. Grab a couple
steaks, head home and feed 'em.
46
00:02:13,402 --> 00:02:14,468
[sighs]
47
00:02:14,503 --> 00:02:16,203
You don't understand.
48
00:02:16,238 --> 00:02:18,972
The guy at table 4 said
something horrible to me
49
00:02:19,007 --> 00:02:21,308
when I was telling him about the salmon.
50
00:02:21,343 --> 00:02:24,077
- What's wrong with the salmon?
- Nothing, the salmon's great!
51
00:02:24,112 --> 00:02:27,414
- The guy insulted me.
- Oh, that's fine.
52
00:02:27,449 --> 00:02:31,285
- What did he say?
- He said I was...
53
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,254
[sniffles]
"a good waitress."
54
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:40,327
That's not bad.
Or true. [groans]
55
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:45,365
I didn't grow up to
be a "good waitress""
56
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,000
That was never the plan.
57
00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:48,702
The plan was to be a psychologist.
58
00:02:48,737 --> 00:02:50,904
Okay.
You're a young woman.
59
00:02:50,939 --> 00:02:54,675
- You can still do that.
- Yeah, maybe.
60
00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:58,011
I'd probably have to
graduate high school first.
61
00:02:58,046 --> 00:02:58,979
[groans]
62
00:02:59,014 --> 00:03:03,083
Now all I've got to look
forward to is serving $60 risotto
63
00:03:03,118 --> 00:03:05,385
to a bunch of smug food Nazis.
64
00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:07,221
I mean, who are we kidding?
65
00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:12,025
It's a big, steaming
pile of gooey rice!
66
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:21,602
- What did you say?
- Get over yourself, Rudy.
67
00:03:21,637 --> 00:03:25,239
I saw you at McDonald's
going down on a Big Mac.
68
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,745
First of all,
it was a Filet-O-Fish.
69
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,751
- And for you?
- Um, I'd like the, uh...
70
00:03:37,786 --> 00:03:40,587
[studio audience cheering,
applauding]
71
00:03:40,622 --> 00:03:41,822
I'd like the, uh,
72
00:03:41,857 --> 00:03:44,791
the pounded capon with,
uh, lemongrass and thyme.
73
00:03:44,826 --> 00:03:47,328
Excellent choice.
You know...
74
00:03:47,329 --> 00:03:50,964
that's a castrated chicken
they beat with a hammer.
75
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,437
1x01 - Pilot
76
00:04:06,682 --> 00:04:09,959
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
77
00:04:12,554 --> 00:04:15,623
MAN [on CD]: Daily affirmations.
78
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:19,493
I open my heart and
allow wonderful things
79
00:04:19,528 --> 00:04:22,062
to flow into my life.
80
00:04:22,097 --> 00:04:25,766
[sighs] I open my heart
and allow wonderful things
81
00:04:25,801 --> 00:04:28,836
to flow into my life.
82
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:35,076
MAN [on CD]: Forgiving
those who have wronged me
83
00:04:35,111 --> 00:04:37,278
is a gift I give myself.
84
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:47,221
My daughter's an easy lay
and it's not my fault.
85
00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:53,995
[sighs]
86
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:06,107
- Hi.
- I'm sorry. Did I wake you?
87
00:05:06,142 --> 00:05:08,242
That's okay.
How was work?
88
00:05:08,277 --> 00:05:11,879
Oh, fun.
I feel guilty taking the money.
89
00:05:12,997 --> 00:05:14,832
What'd you do tonight?
90
00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:16,834
Not much.
Did my homework, watched TV.
91
00:05:16,869 --> 00:05:20,004
Mmm.
Is there a TV on your ceiling?
92
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,074
What?
93
00:05:23,109 --> 00:05:25,843
Sit down.
We need to talk.
94
00:05:25,878 --> 00:05:28,246
[sighs]
95
00:05:28,281 --> 00:05:30,515
What's up?
96
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:34,686
Violet, I can't tell you...
97
00:05:34,719 --> 00:05:38,589
not to have sex at your age,
because I had sex at your age.
98
00:05:38,624 --> 00:05:40,458
Mom, I'm not having sex.
[groans]
99
00:05:40,493 --> 00:05:43,928
Don't lie to the woman
who washes your sheets.
100
00:05:45,697 --> 00:05:47,131
And in case you've forgotten,
101
00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:49,133
I got pregnant with you
when I was a teenager.
102
00:05:49,168 --> 00:05:52,270
And please don't take
this the wrong way:
103
00:05:52,303 --> 00:05:58,076
- It ruined my life.
- I love you, too, Mom...?
104
00:05:58,111 --> 00:06:00,611
And I can't tell you not
to drink and smoke pot,
105
00:06:00,646 --> 00:06:02,780
because my senior yearbook quote was:
106
00:06:02,815 --> 00:06:05,783
"Let's drink and smoke pot""
107
00:06:05,818 --> 00:06:09,654
- Can this please be over?
- You don't know how lucky you are.
108
00:06:09,689 --> 00:06:11,990
My mother never bothered to
talk to me about this stuff.
109
00:06:12,025 --> 00:06:13,758
- Yeah, this is over.
- Honey, I just don't want you
110
00:06:13,793 --> 00:06:16,194
to wake up one day and feel bad
'cause you're not a psychologist!
111
00:06:16,229 --> 00:06:17,195
[door slams]
112
00:06:17,230 --> 00:06:18,696
Okay, good talk!
113
00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:26,170
Let's get you back in your own bed.
114
00:06:26,205 --> 00:06:29,307
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, sweetie.
115
00:06:29,342 --> 00:06:32,910
- I waited up for you.
- Thank you.
116
00:06:32,945 --> 00:06:34,178
[grunts]
117
00:06:34,213 --> 00:06:37,548
- Violet's boyfriend was over.
- I know.
118
00:06:37,583 --> 00:06:39,584
They were kissing.
119
00:06:39,617 --> 00:06:42,286
I'm sure they were.
120
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,222
They took a shower together.
121
00:06:46,024 --> 00:06:48,359
Terrific.
122
00:06:48,394 --> 00:06:51,529
Are you coming to my
talent show tomorrow?
123
00:06:51,564 --> 00:06:54,365
Tomorrow?
What time?
124
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,767
11:00.
125
00:06:55,802 --> 00:06:58,302
Oh, honey, I have to
work the lunch shift.
126
00:06:58,337 --> 00:07:01,472
It's okay.
I'm not good anyway.
127
00:07:01,507 --> 00:07:02,840
[sighs]
128
00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:05,443
Listen, maybe I can get
someone to cover my shift.
129
00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:08,379
Don't worry about it.
130
00:07:08,414 --> 00:07:10,548
No, I-I want you to be able
to look out into the audience
131
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,784
and see me, because that
way you'll know how much I...
132
00:07:12,817 --> 00:07:15,620
Shh!
Mommy, I'm sleeping.
133
00:07:17,922 --> 00:07:20,391
Good talk.
134
00:07:21,826 --> 00:07:23,528
[sighs wearily]
135
00:07:26,998 --> 00:07:29,133
[knocking on door]
136
00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:33,538
Hi.
137
00:07:33,573 --> 00:07:35,740
[sighs with relief]
138
00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:39,877
You feeling better?
139
00:07:39,912 --> 00:07:43,648
Oh, yeah.
My home is a real oasis.
140
00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:49,420
- So, am I in trouble with Chef Rudy?
- He'll be fine.
141
00:07:49,455 --> 00:07:52,090
He bought an eight ball and
took home the pastry chef.
142
00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:56,027
Sleeping with your boss.
Who does that?
143
00:07:56,062 --> 00:07:57,795
Roscoe: Mom...?
144
00:08:01,199 --> 00:08:04,936
- Yeah, honey?
- I had a bad dream.
145
00:08:04,969 --> 00:08:08,473
Oh, no, well, um...
why don't you go back to bed
146
00:08:08,508 --> 00:08:10,808
and I'll come lay down
with you in a second?
147
00:08:12,377 --> 00:08:14,212
[sighs]
148
00:08:16,581 --> 00:08:18,883
I'm so sorry.
I owe you one.
149
00:08:21,853 --> 00:08:26,024
Don't lay there too long.
The sprinklers come on in ten minutes.
150
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,130
[sprinklers activating]
151
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,607
[huffs]
152
00:08:42,642 --> 00:08:45,276
- What the hell?
- Can I help you?
153
00:08:45,311 --> 00:08:47,912
- What time is the talent show?
- What talent show?
154
00:08:47,947 --> 00:08:51,115
- There's no talent show today?
- I don't think so.
155
00:08:51,150 --> 00:08:53,418
Are you freaking kidding me?!
156
00:08:53,453 --> 00:08:58,656
- I lost a day's pay for no reason?
- Maybe we were destined to meet.
157
00:09:01,659 --> 00:09:04,362
It would definitely be
the high point of my day.
158
00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:10,468
Psst! Roscoe!
159
00:09:11,803 --> 00:09:12,904
Hi, Mom.
160
00:09:12,939 --> 00:09:13,972
What are you doing here?
161
00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:16,607
- The talent show?
- That's not today.
162
00:09:16,642 --> 00:09:20,445
- But you said it was!
- Guess I was wrong.
163
00:09:21,612 --> 00:09:24,015
I guess you were.
164
00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:27,933
Don't you kids tease him about this.
165
00:09:29,287 --> 00:09:31,248
[muffled]: Son of a bitch!
166
00:09:31,399 --> 00:09:34,188
[kids giggling]
167
00:09:34,227 --> 00:09:36,227
Oh, God, I need a drink.
168
00:09:36,262 --> 00:09:39,864
Hi, I'm Christy and I'm an alcoholic.
169
00:09:39,899 --> 00:09:41,265
All: Hi, Christy.
170
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:44,335
I've been sober 118 days.
171
00:09:44,370 --> 00:09:46,004
Oh, don't applaud for that.
172
00:09:46,039 --> 00:09:48,673
They've been the worst
118 days of my life.
173
00:09:48,708 --> 00:09:49,674
[all laugh]
174
00:09:49,709 --> 00:09:51,809
Um... [chuckles]
175
00:09:51,844 --> 00:09:54,946
The only reason I'm here is because, uh,
176
00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:56,848
I didn't want to turn into my mother.
177
00:09:56,883 --> 00:09:59,183
And I did anyway.
178
00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:03,821
Yeah, I drank like her.
179
00:10:03,856 --> 00:10:06,758
I went through men like her.
180
00:10:06,793 --> 00:10:11,789
Um, I was selfish to my kids
just like she was.
181
00:10:13,631 --> 00:10:14,999
And I didn't know how
to live any other way
182
00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:17,335
because she was my only role model.
183
00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:22,807
I mean, some mothers teach
their daughters how to bake.
184
00:10:22,842 --> 00:10:26,444
Mine taught me how to
beat a cavity search
185
00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:29,047
and still feel like a lady.
186
00:10:29,082 --> 00:10:30,782
[all laugh]
187
00:10:30,817 --> 00:10:33,584
Anyway, thanks for letting me share.
188
00:10:33,619 --> 00:10:37,889
And I cannot tell you
how comforting it is
189
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:39,390
to be in a room with people
190
00:10:39,425 --> 00:10:41,592
who are just as screwed
up as I am, so...
191
00:10:41,627 --> 00:10:44,095
Oh, stop it.
192
00:10:47,932 --> 00:10:50,001
Hi, I'm Jim and I'm an alcoholic.
193
00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:51,202
All: Hi, Jim.
194
00:10:51,237 --> 00:10:52,317
Aren't you a little old
195
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,173
to be blaming all your
problems on your mother?
196
00:10:58,476 --> 00:11:00,678
Hi, Mom.
197
00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:09,770
Hi, I'm Greg.
May I take your order?
198
00:11:09,805 --> 00:11:11,906
Hi, Greg. I'm Bonnie and
this is my daughter, Christy.
199
00:11:11,941 --> 00:11:14,795
- Hi.
- She and I haven't spoken
200
00:11:14,830 --> 00:11:17,311
in a couple of years, so this
is kind of a big moment for us.
201
00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:19,247
Oh, for God's sake.
202
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,215
What can you recommend
for a mother and daughter
203
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:25,553
who are reconnecting after
a long, angry silence?
204
00:11:26,254 --> 00:11:28,456
Um... pie?
205
00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:34,228
- Mom, please, just order.
- Um, is the mint tea decaffeinated?
206
00:11:34,263 --> 00:11:35,997
- Yes.
- Do you promise?
207
00:11:36,032 --> 00:11:38,065
If I have caffeine after
2:00, my sleep in ruined.
208
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:40,635
- I promise.
- Okay, Greg, but if I wake up
209
00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:43,671
in the middle of the
night, I'm calling you.
210
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:49,710
Well, I'll-I'll give you my number.
[Greg chuckles]
211
00:11:49,745 --> 00:11:50,711
[clears throat]
212
00:11:50,746 --> 00:11:51,946
Um, and for you?
213
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:54,148
We have a lovely
selection of local wines.
214
00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:56,884
I'll have a bottle of each
and a funnel.
215
00:11:56,919 --> 00:12:00,621
She's kidding. We're both
in Alcoholics Anonymous.
216
00:12:00,656 --> 00:12:02,557
Mom, it's Alcoholics Anonymous,
217
00:12:02,592 --> 00:12:04,792
not Alcoholics Tell Your Waiter.
218
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:10,164
Water is fine. Here, take
this knife away from me.
219
00:12:12,133 --> 00:12:15,503
So, when were you going to
tell me you quit drinking?
220
00:12:15,538 --> 00:12:17,071
Well, I was afraid if I called you,
221
00:12:17,106 --> 00:12:18,839
I'd just start again.
222
00:12:18,874 --> 00:12:20,808
Not that you care,
223
00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:22,944
but I have two years
clean and sober myself.
224
00:12:22,979 --> 00:12:24,579
You're right; I don't care.
225
00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:27,982
Well, regardless,
it has really changed my life.
226
00:12:28,017 --> 00:12:30,585
I have a steady job.
I exercise.
227
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:32,987
I'm in a book club!
228
00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:36,257
I have become the kind of
woman I've always hated.
229
00:12:36,292 --> 00:12:39,460
It is nice to see you
wearing underwear.
230
00:12:40,361 --> 00:12:42,429
And not on your head.
231
00:12:44,232 --> 00:12:45,566
Greg: Here we go.
232
00:12:45,601 --> 00:12:47,768
Oh, Greg, honey,
233
00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:49,870
can I trouble you for
some water without ice?
234
00:12:49,905 --> 00:12:51,839
Ice isn't good for my digestive system.
235
00:12:51,874 --> 00:12:54,809
- Yeah, of course.
- Really? Ice?
236
00:12:54,844 --> 00:12:57,945
I think your digestive system
has seen worse than ice.
237
00:12:57,979 --> 00:13:00,781
Excuse me?
238
00:13:00,816 --> 00:13:02,917
Mom, I've watched you
lick cocaine crumbs
239
00:13:02,952 --> 00:13:05,186
out of a shag carpet.
240
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,991
It's not a sin to be thrifty, dear.
241
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,693
Okay, here we go.
242
00:13:12,728 --> 00:13:14,595
Now, I hope that you're
being nice to your mother.
243
00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:16,960
- Go away, Greg!
- Right.
244
00:13:18,099 --> 00:13:20,668
Whoa, whoa.
You know, just because you're sober
245
00:13:20,703 --> 00:13:22,369
doesn't mean you can't take a Xanax.
246
00:13:22,404 --> 00:13:25,473
Actually, Mom, it sort of does.
247
00:13:25,508 --> 00:13:29,877
Really?
Maybe I don't have two years.
248
00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:33,347
And I don't need a Xanax;
I'm doing great.
249
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,415
Well, that's funny, 'cause
your daughter says you're
250
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:37,451
hanging on by your fingernails
and sleeping with your boss.
251
00:13:37,486 --> 00:13:39,920
Wait, when do you talk to Violet?
252
00:13:39,955 --> 00:13:42,523
We talk all the time, and
we're Facebook friends.
253
00:13:42,558 --> 00:13:44,091
I don't want her talking to you.
254
00:13:44,126 --> 00:13:46,927
Well, she has to talk to somebody.
She's sexually active,
255
00:13:46,962 --> 00:13:50,998
drinking, smoking grass.
Sound familiar?
256
00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:52,700
[scoffs]
You're making this about me?
257
00:13:52,735 --> 00:13:55,002
No, it's okay.
I have come to understand
258
00:13:55,037 --> 00:13:56,737
that you were the best
daughter you could be.
259
00:13:56,772 --> 00:14:00,174
My job is to forgive you,
which I do.
260
00:14:00,209 --> 00:14:01,809
Oh, my God!
261
00:14:02,643 --> 00:14:06,614
- You forgive me?
- I've come a long way.
262
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:10,985
Excuse me, but if anybody
needs to be forgiven,
263
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:12,920
it's you, and I don't,
and I never will.
264
00:14:12,955 --> 00:14:14,088
There's hardly a day I can remember
265
00:14:14,123 --> 00:14:16,590
that I didn't come
home to an empty house.
266
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:17,992
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
267
00:14:18,027 --> 00:14:21,929
While other mothers were cooking
dinner, you were cooking meth.
268
00:14:21,964 --> 00:14:25,617
Otherwise known as "working."
269
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,503
I don't want you in my life.
270
00:14:29,538 --> 00:14:32,139
And while you're at it,
stay away from my daughter!
271
00:14:32,174 --> 00:14:34,308
She may need a better
role model than me,
272
00:14:34,343 --> 00:14:36,621
but it's certainly not you.
273
00:14:40,448 --> 00:14:43,984
- Is, uh, everything okay?
- My daughter doesn't get me.
274
00:14:44,019 --> 00:14:46,387
Oh. I'm sorry.
275
00:14:46,422 --> 00:14:50,198
What time do you get off work?
I could use a lap to cry on.
276
00:14:52,126 --> 00:14:53,461
[sobbing]
277
00:14:53,496 --> 00:14:55,129
Oh.
278
00:14:57,098 --> 00:15:01,368
Stop crying.
It wasn't an important finger.
279
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,771
This doesn't concern you.
280
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,676
Oh, good, you're still here.
281
00:15:08,711 --> 00:15:11,212
Hey, hi.
This is a surprise.
282
00:15:11,247 --> 00:15:13,347
Yeah, I just really
needed to talk to you.
283
00:15:13,382 --> 00:15:15,015
I am having the worst day.
284
00:15:15,050 --> 00:15:17,885
- Hey, you ready to go?
- Yes, dear.
285
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:22,857
Um, Christy,
you know my, uh, wife.
286
00:15:22,892 --> 00:15:26,026
Yeah, hi, Claudia.
Nice to see you again.
287
00:15:26,061 --> 00:15:27,862
It's "Clowdia""
288
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,965
FYI, the ladies' room
needs some attention.
289
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,367
I don't know if that's you, Christy.
290
00:15:33,402 --> 00:15:36,537
It's not,
and it's "Christ-y."
291
00:15:37,474 --> 00:15:39,073
Okay, dear, let's go.
292
00:15:39,108 --> 00:15:41,308
- Bye.
- Yeah.
293
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,450
Don't serve the soup.
294
00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:57,057
- Hey, Mom. Dad's here!
- Yo, yo, baby mama.
295
00:15:58,092 --> 00:15:59,693
What do you want, Baxter?
296
00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:02,029
A father can't visit his son?
297
00:16:02,064 --> 00:16:05,099
Not when he's six months
behind on child support,
298
00:16:05,134 --> 00:16:09,103
but you're welcome to wave
at him through the window.
299
00:16:09,138 --> 00:16:11,305
Be right back, Roscoe.
300
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:14,141
Don't be afraid to hit
the hookers with a bat.
301
00:16:16,544 --> 00:16:20,081
I think I may have found a way
to pay you your child support.
302
00:16:20,116 --> 00:16:23,951
Trust me, Baxter,
you can't sell that much semen.
303
00:16:23,986 --> 00:16:26,720
I know. I tried.
304
00:16:27,689 --> 00:16:31,926
So, here's the deal:
I know a guy who can hook me up
305
00:16:31,961 --> 00:16:34,795
with a couple of kilos
of premium Sonoma Kush.
306
00:16:34,830 --> 00:16:37,865
All I need is $2,000...
307
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:41,769
...from you.
308
00:16:41,804 --> 00:16:45,473
Just so I'm clear:
You want to pay child support
309
00:16:45,508 --> 00:16:48,142
by borrowing money from
me so you can buy pot?
310
00:16:48,177 --> 00:16:50,845
[laughing]: No.
So I can sell pot.
311
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:56,217
There's no money in buying pot.
I know. I tried.
312
00:16:57,118 --> 00:16:58,619
Luke: Oh.
313
00:16:58,654 --> 00:17:00,921
Hey. Hello.
314
00:17:01,756 --> 00:17:04,925
- What are you doing here?
- Um...
315
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,161
studying...?
316
00:17:07,828 --> 00:17:10,464
You let Violet have boys
over while you're gone?
317
00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:13,968
No, I do not, and don't worry
about her, she's not your kid.
318
00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:17,204
I know, but this sets
a bad example for Roscoe.
319
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:20,741
Oh, you're worried
about setting a bad example?
320
00:17:20,776 --> 00:17:22,827
You had Roscoe pee into a sippy cup
321
00:17:22,828 --> 00:17:24,879
so you could pass a drug test.
322
00:17:24,912 --> 00:17:27,148
And it worked.
323
00:17:27,183 --> 00:17:30,317
[knocking on door]
324
00:17:30,352 --> 00:17:33,754
I like bananas.
They have their own carrying case.
325
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:37,158
You know I can't divorce Claudia.
326
00:17:37,193 --> 00:17:39,193
Her father owns the restaurant;
327
00:17:39,228 --> 00:17:40,895
I'm pretty sure he'd
fire me, and then what?
328
00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:42,797
I was an English major.
[sighs]
329
00:17:45,266 --> 00:17:47,334
I can't believe you're
sleeping with that loser.
330
00:17:47,369 --> 00:17:49,270
I can't believe you're
sleeping with this loser!
331
00:17:49,305 --> 00:17:51,806
Hey, we were mostly studying.
332
00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:54,608
Shut up, Luke.
I love him.
333
00:17:54,643 --> 00:17:58,679
- Please, I used to love him!
- She did.
334
00:17:59,947 --> 00:18:02,950
Mom, Luke and I have been
together for, like, a year.
335
00:18:02,985 --> 00:18:06,020
You only started noticing
when you stopped drinking.
336
00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:08,522
[sighs]
337
00:18:08,557 --> 00:18:09,690
You're right.
338
00:18:09,725 --> 00:18:11,392
I-I haven't been a very good mother,
339
00:18:11,427 --> 00:18:14,261
- and I'm sorry, but...
- But what?
340
00:18:14,862 --> 00:18:15,996
[scoffs]
341
00:18:16,031 --> 00:18:17,598
You want me to forgive you?
342
00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:20,701
Oh, God, would you?
That'd be awesome!
343
00:18:20,736 --> 00:18:22,970
Why should I forgive you
344
00:18:23,005 --> 00:18:24,972
when you can't even
forgive your own mother?
345
00:18:25,007 --> 00:18:26,941
- That's different.
- How?
346
00:18:26,976 --> 00:18:28,976
[both scoff]
347
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,815
Okay.
348
00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:36,817
[wry laugh]
349
00:18:36,852 --> 00:18:38,786
Okay...
[clears throat]
350
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,192
[sighs]
351
00:18:45,227 --> 00:18:46,861
Hello, Mom, it's Christy.
352
00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:49,330
Yeah, yeah,
today was a blast.
353
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:53,334
Listen...
354
00:18:53,369 --> 00:18:55,870
I just want you to know
355
00:18:55,905 --> 00:18:59,874
that I forgive you
for everything you did
356
00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:02,176
when I was growing up.
357
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:07,281
I get, now, that
you did the best you could...
358
00:19:09,417 --> 00:19:11,252
...just like I'm doing.
359
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:15,356
And...
360
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:16,784
I hope that you and I can
361
00:19:16,785 --> 00:19:21,061
wipe the slate clean
and start over.
362
00:19:23,564 --> 00:19:26,901
No, I did not take
a Xanax from your purse!
363
00:19:26,936 --> 00:19:31,105
Listen, I gotta go.
Yeah, talk soon.
364
00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:32,273
[sighs]
365
00:19:32,308 --> 00:19:35,209
There.
I've forgiven my mother.
366
00:19:35,244 --> 00:19:39,613
- Are we good?
- It's not that easy.
367
00:19:39,648 --> 00:19:42,750
Oh, come on!
Like me!
368
00:19:42,785 --> 00:19:43,784
[door shuts]
369
00:19:43,819 --> 00:19:44,919
Roscoe: Hey, Dad!
370
00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:46,787
If you hit the hookers enough times,
371
00:19:46,822 --> 00:19:49,457
they give you your money back!
372
00:19:51,041 --> 00:19:55,696
Smart kid.
That's my semen at work.
373
00:19:57,398 --> 00:19:59,166
[sighs]
374
00:19:59,201 --> 00:20:03,170
- You still living in that red van?
- Yep.
375
00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:05,606
Looks like your house is being towed.
376
00:20:06,507 --> 00:20:09,310
Oh, no,
my cleaning lady's in there.
377
00:20:13,447 --> 00:20:15,382
What a day, huh?
378
00:20:24,447 --> 00:20:27,082
[giggling]
379
00:20:28,116 --> 00:20:29,150
Hello...?
380
00:20:29,185 --> 00:20:31,786
- Oh, hi, Mom.
- Hello, sweetie.
381
00:20:31,821 --> 00:20:33,188
What are you doing here?
382
00:20:33,223 --> 00:20:35,156
I just thought I'd help
out while you were at work.
383
00:20:35,191 --> 00:20:36,091
You know, clean slate.
384
00:20:36,126 --> 00:20:38,526
- You didn't have to do that.
- Yeah, she did.
385
00:20:38,561 --> 00:20:39,761
Bonnie made Roscoe
and me hot dinner.
386
00:20:39,796 --> 00:20:43,131
- Yeah, but I...
- It was hot, Mom!
387
00:20:43,965 --> 00:20:46,134
Like on TV.
388
00:20:47,050 --> 00:20:48,303
Night, Bonnie.
389
00:20:48,338 --> 00:20:49,537
[chuckles]
390
00:20:49,572 --> 00:20:50,672
Both: Mwah.
391
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,140
[both chuckles]
392
00:20:57,445 --> 00:21:01,182
- She calls you Bonnie?
- We're like sisters.
393
00:21:01,217 --> 00:21:03,418
You hungry?
394
00:21:03,453 --> 00:21:05,820
No, thanks. I ate at the restaurant.
395
00:21:05,855 --> 00:21:08,681
How about some tea?
396
00:21:08,682 --> 00:21:09,624
Okay.
397
00:21:11,025 --> 00:21:12,761
[sighs]
398
00:21:12,796 --> 00:21:15,797
I'm so glad
you and I have a chance to
399
00:21:15,830 --> 00:21:17,198
start over.
400
00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:19,234
Forgive me,
but I'm not quite there yet.
401
00:21:19,269 --> 00:21:22,038
Of course I forgive you.
402
00:21:24,054 --> 00:21:26,770
[sighs]
You know... {*trnscr}
403
00:21:26,771 --> 00:21:30,219
I apologized for beeing
a crappy daughter.
404
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:35,765
- So, anything you wanna say to me...
- I love you with all my heart.
405
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,557
And?
406
00:21:37,975 --> 00:21:39,997
And... from now on, I'm going
407
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:43,032
to be the kind of mother you deserve.
408
00:21:43,311 --> 00:21:45,464
This is the start of a new chapter.
409
00:21:46,030 --> 00:21:48,364
[bell rings]
Oh, it's my date!
410
00:21:50,107 --> 00:21:52,410
New chapter, same book.
411
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:56,689
- Ready to go?
- Let me just get my bag.
412
00:21:56,870 --> 00:21:59,159
You remember our waiter Greg?
413
00:21:59,542 --> 00:22:01,690
Hi, new dad!
414
00:22:02,976 --> 00:22:05,800
Please stop.
He's way to young for me.
415
00:22:06,136 --> 00:22:08,339
And he's...
[whispers] married.
416
00:22:09,436 --> 00:22:11,862
Married?
What a whore.
417
00:22:14,756 --> 00:22:15,831
Oh, I almost forgot.
418
00:22:16,009 --> 00:22:17,592
Your daughter think
she might be pregnant.
419
00:22:17,592 --> 00:22:20,077
Call me, if you need me.
420
00:22:21,176 --> 00:22:23,906
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