1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:05,178
- Previously on Mom...
- We caught Roscoe smoking marijuana.

2
00:00:05,203 --> 00:00:06,403
- Oh, no.
- What?

3
00:00:06,405 --> 00:00:07,654
Roscoe, after everything

4
00:00:07,656 --> 00:00:08,738
you've seen me and
your grandma go through,

5
00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:10,702
why would you do this?

6
00:00:10,727 --> 00:00:12,625
I'm sorry. It was the first time.

7
00:00:12,650 --> 00:00:13,671
I didn't even like it.

8
00:00:13,696 --> 00:00:15,664
Ah, he thinks we're stupid.

9
00:00:17,157 --> 00:00:19,132
What do you want from
me? I said I'm sorry.

10
00:00:19,157 --> 00:00:21,914
It's a crutch that
people use when, you know,

11
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,690
they're dealing with
feelings they don't like.

12
00:00:23,714 --> 00:00:24,880
I get it.

13
00:00:24,964 --> 00:00:26,630
Is that why you did it?

14
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:28,494
- The truth?
- Yeah.

15
00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:30,778
We were out of beer.

16
00:00:30,803 --> 00:00:32,770
(tires screeching)

17
00:00:34,609 --> 00:00:36,094
_

18
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,785
He's
12-years-old,

19
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,286
Marjorie, and he's getting high,

20
00:00:39,288 --> 00:00:41,172
and I can't help worrying he's
gonna need his college fund

21
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:42,373
for bail and then he's gonna find out

22
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,422
I never started his college fund.

23
00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,148
I know but...

24
00:00:46,392 --> 00:00:48,025
Yeah but...

25
00:00:48,151 --> 00:00:49,570
But I'm...

26
00:00:50,196 --> 00:00:51,895
Well, if you're just gonna
be calm and reasonable,

27
00:00:51,897 --> 00:00:53,812
I can't talk to you!

28
00:00:54,066 --> 00:00:55,594
Okay, here he comes, got to go.

29
00:00:55,901 --> 00:00:57,203
Love you, too.

30
00:00:58,500 --> 00:00:59,676
Hey, buddy.

31
00:00:59,701 --> 00:01:01,033
Hey.

32
00:01:01,123 --> 00:01:02,456
How'd therapy go?

33
00:01:02,458 --> 00:01:03,741
Fine.

34
00:01:03,743 --> 00:01:05,576
What'd you think of Dr. LaSalle?

35
00:01:05,578 --> 00:01:06,744
He's okay.

36
00:01:06,746 --> 00:01:07,633
"Okay."

37
00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:09,046
That can mean a lot of things,

38
00:01:09,048 --> 00:01:10,798
like, "okay!" Or,

39
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,258
(flatly): "okay."

40
00:01:12,844 --> 00:01:14,501
I like him.

41
00:01:14,503 --> 00:01:16,054
Good.

42
00:01:16,589 --> 00:01:18,806
- (engine starts)
- Good.

43
00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:29,516
I know I'm not supposed to ask

44
00:01:29,518 --> 00:01:31,101
what you talked about
with your therapist,

45
00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:32,203
and I never would,

46
00:01:32,438 --> 00:01:35,406
but... if you want to tell me, you can.

47
00:01:35,408 --> 00:01:36,914
I know.

48
00:01:38,027 --> 00:01:40,445
Operators are standing by.

49
00:01:40,828 --> 00:01:42,946
What's an operator?

50
00:01:42,948 --> 00:01:44,948
Never mind.

51
00:01:46,168 --> 00:01:47,451
Want to stop and get a slice of pizza?

52
00:01:47,453 --> 00:01:48,535
Maybe chat?

53
00:01:48,828 --> 00:01:50,587
No, I just want to go home.

54
00:01:50,589 --> 00:01:52,089
I've been talking for an hour.

55
00:01:52,387 --> 00:01:54,312
Sure, sorry, of course.

56
00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:58,961
Talking for an hour.

57
00:01:59,131 --> 00:02:01,195
Must've had a lot to say.

58
00:02:03,969 --> 00:02:05,185
Did my name come up?

59
00:02:05,187 --> 00:02:06,804
(sighs)

60
00:02:06,806 --> 00:02:08,961
That's a yes.

61
00:02:16,064 --> 00:02:19,944
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

62
00:02:32,922 --> 00:02:33,921
Aren't you eating?

63
00:02:33,923 --> 00:02:35,756
I went to a lot of
trouble for this dinner.

64
00:02:38,719 --> 00:02:40,261
Hey, I had to park

65
00:02:40,263 --> 00:02:42,680
and go inside for extra sauce packets.

66
00:02:42,682 --> 00:02:44,765
Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind.

67
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,150
Oh, relax.

68
00:02:46,152 --> 00:02:47,151
He's seeing a therapist,

69
00:02:47,153 --> 00:02:48,609
he'll work it out.

70
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:50,333
What are you doing?

71
00:02:50,335 --> 00:02:51,534
Roscoe knows the rule...

72
00:02:51,536 --> 00:02:52,835
If you're away from
the table five minutes,

73
00:02:52,837 --> 00:02:54,500
your food's in play.

74
00:02:55,924 --> 00:02:58,091
He has been in the bathroom a while.

75
00:02:58,093 --> 00:02:59,092
Should I check on him?

76
00:02:59,094 --> 00:03:00,259
Not that this will stop you,

77
00:03:00,261 --> 00:03:01,961
but no.

78
00:03:02,174 --> 00:03:04,841
Kids need space, take it from me.

79
00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:06,966
Is that why

80
00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:09,135
I didn't see you my
entire sophomore year?

81
00:03:09,562 --> 00:03:11,137
You're welcome.

82
00:03:12,414 --> 00:03:13,914
Well, I'm not doing that.

83
00:03:13,916 --> 00:03:15,248
Baxter gave him space

84
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,836
and he started getting high over there.

85
00:03:16,861 --> 00:03:19,562
Oh, come on, Christy, he was
probably getting high here, too.

86
00:03:20,589 --> 00:03:22,138
I'm checking on him.

87
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:23,590
Five minutes on your drumstick,

88
00:03:23,592 --> 00:03:25,091
the clock is ticking.

89
00:03:27,117 --> 00:03:28,150
(knocking)

90
00:03:28,347 --> 00:03:30,867
Roscoe? What's goin' on in there?

91
00:03:30,892 --> 00:03:32,008
ROSCOE: What do you think?

92
00:03:32,033 --> 00:03:33,533
I'm going to the bathroom.

93
00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:36,203
Taking you a long time.

94
00:03:36,228 --> 00:03:38,395
ROSCOE: It's a number two.

95
00:03:39,356 --> 00:03:41,639
Oh really, at this time of night?

96
00:03:41,664 --> 00:03:43,539
ROSCOE: This is when it wants out.

97
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:46,947
Well, you're certainly giving him plenty

98
00:03:46,949 --> 00:03:48,615
to talk to his therapist about.

99
00:03:48,617 --> 00:03:50,283
What if he's smoking pot in there?

100
00:03:50,285 --> 00:03:52,992
- Roscoe, are you smoking pot in there?
- No!

101
00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:54,489
You want to plant some weed on him

102
00:03:54,514 --> 00:03:56,264
like a dirty cop or can we go now?

103
00:03:56,458 --> 00:03:58,234
(toilet flushes)

104
00:03:58,844 --> 00:04:01,617
When you come out, I better smell poop!

105
00:04:03,645 --> 00:04:04,844
(door opens)

106
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,112
Enjoy.

107
00:04:10,734 --> 00:04:13,101
Put your shoes on, let's go.

108
00:04:13,259 --> 00:04:14,758
- (TV playing)
- Where are we going?

109
00:04:14,783 --> 00:04:16,643
Grandma and I are going to a meeting,

110
00:04:16,645 --> 00:04:18,812
and I'm not leaving you
here alone. (turns off TV)

111
00:04:19,156 --> 00:04:21,481
Why do you have to go to a meeting?

112
00:04:21,483 --> 00:04:22,616
Because if I miss one,

113
00:04:22,618 --> 00:04:23,950
I start to get a little crazy.

114
00:04:23,952 --> 00:04:25,547
Start?

115
00:04:27,531 --> 00:04:28,955
Ready to roll?

116
00:04:28,957 --> 00:04:29,990
Just waiting for him

117
00:04:29,992 --> 00:04:31,124
to put his shoes on.

118
00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:32,826
Why are we dragging him with us?

119
00:04:32,828 --> 00:04:34,851
Because I'm not comfortable
leaving him here alone.

120
00:04:34,876 --> 00:04:36,997
Why? There's nothing in the house.

121
00:04:36,999 --> 00:04:38,965
What's he gonna do, smoke
a bowl of Grape-Nuts?

122
00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:40,834
Don't give him ideas.

123
00:04:40,836 --> 00:04:42,052
Get in the car.

124
00:04:42,054 --> 00:04:44,170
Let me finish putting my shoes on.

125
00:04:48,145 --> 00:04:49,640
(Bonnie sighs)

126
00:04:56,685 --> 00:04:58,133
Slower.

127
00:05:04,598 --> 00:05:06,922
- Would anyone else like to share?
- I would.

128
00:05:06,947 --> 00:05:08,554
Hey, I'm Jill. I'm an alcoholic.

129
00:05:08,579 --> 00:05:09,945
OTHERS: Hi, Jill.

130
00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:11,414
Christy, I hope your son's headphones

131
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:12,749
are on nice and tight, 'cause

132
00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:14,273
I got some grown-up
stuff I want to share.

133
00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:15,554
Hang on.

134
00:05:15,579 --> 00:05:17,663
Good news, Roscoe, you're adopted.

135
00:05:18,875 --> 00:05:20,090
Share away.

136
00:05:20,092 --> 00:05:21,675
(sighing): Okay.

137
00:05:21,677 --> 00:05:23,293
So, I had dinner with an
old boyfriend last night.

138
00:05:23,295 --> 00:05:25,242
Thank you, Facebook.

139
00:05:25,923 --> 00:05:28,006
I looked him up to see if
he had gained any weight

140
00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:29,172
or lost his hair.

141
00:05:29,197 --> 00:05:30,992
Turned out, he hadn't gained any weight

142
00:05:31,017 --> 00:05:32,437
but he had lost his wife.

143
00:05:32,607 --> 00:05:33,973
Not to death, to divorce,

144
00:05:33,998 --> 00:05:35,498
so it wasn't super sad.

145
00:05:36,648 --> 00:05:37,941
Anyway,

146
00:05:37,943 --> 00:05:39,953
we got together and
I realized right away

147
00:05:39,978 --> 00:05:43,094
that he was still loud
and obnoxious and crass.

148
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,055
Then I slept with him.

149
00:05:46,077 --> 00:05:47,883
But I did it with a clear head

150
00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:49,408
and I knew where I was in the morning,

151
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,734
so that's progress.

152
00:05:50,759 --> 00:05:52,426
Way to go, sobriety.

153
00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:55,209
Thank you.

154
00:05:56,618 --> 00:05:59,141
- Who's next?
- Christy wants to share.

155
00:05:59,166 --> 00:06:01,389
- I don't need to.
- I disagree.

156
00:06:01,414 --> 00:06:02,881
Tell her she can't make me share.

157
00:06:02,916 --> 00:06:04,648
You can't make her share.

158
00:06:04,673 --> 00:06:06,344
But I think you should.

159
00:06:06,922 --> 00:06:08,773
(groans) Fine.

160
00:06:08,798 --> 00:06:10,330
Christy, alcoholic.

161
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:11,688
OTHERS: Hi, Christy.

162
00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:13,573
Well, I'm still having a problem

163
00:06:13,575 --> 00:06:14,531
with my son

164
00:06:14,556 --> 00:06:17,003
and as you can see, he's...

165
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,528
What the hell?

166
00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:19,829
Where'd he go?

167
00:06:19,831 --> 00:06:21,197
He walked out during Jill's share.

168
00:06:21,199 --> 00:06:22,782
Why didn't somebody say something?

169
00:06:22,784 --> 00:06:24,695
What were we supposed to say?

170
00:06:25,226 --> 00:06:26,920
Well, don't look at
me, I was dozing off.

171
00:06:26,922 --> 00:06:28,078
Hey!

172
00:06:28,103 --> 00:06:30,854
Well, next time, don't
slow-roll the sex part.

173
00:06:31,209 --> 00:06:34,043
Am I the only sane person here?

174
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,233
Roscoe! Roscoe!

175
00:06:36,258 --> 00:06:39,215
Okay, while Nancy Drew
is solving this mystery,

176
00:06:39,217 --> 00:06:40,781
I'll go.

177
00:06:41,219 --> 00:06:42,886
Bonnie, alcoholic.

178
00:06:42,888 --> 00:06:44,220
OTHERS: Hi, Bonnie.

179
00:06:44,222 --> 00:06:46,890
Well, you just got a
glimpse into my life.

180
00:06:47,142 --> 00:06:49,142
With my daughter in a
constant state of panic,

181
00:06:49,144 --> 00:06:51,194
I find myself suddenly being the wise,

182
00:06:51,196 --> 00:06:52,906
old voice of reason.

183
00:06:53,568 --> 00:06:56,351
And it makes me feel like
Marjorie and I don't like it.

184
00:07:02,874 --> 00:07:04,157
What?

185
00:07:04,159 --> 00:07:05,959
Your mom's looking for you.

186
00:07:05,961 --> 00:07:07,398
I'm right here.

187
00:07:08,812 --> 00:07:10,148
CHRISTY: Roscoe!

188
00:07:10,173 --> 00:07:11,381
Roscoe!

189
00:07:11,383 --> 00:07:13,716
- Should we tell her?
- I don't want her back, do you?

190
00:07:15,554 --> 00:07:16,753
CHRISTY: Roscoe!

191
00:07:16,755 --> 00:07:17,754
Excuse me.

192
00:07:17,756 --> 00:07:20,390
- You gonna go get her?
- No, I'm going to the bathroom.

193
00:07:22,761 --> 00:07:25,178
CHRISTY: I'm not saying
you're a bad father,

194
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:27,469
I just want to make sure
he's properly supervised.

195
00:07:28,265 --> 00:07:30,683
No, Baxter, I'm not overreacting.

196
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,821
What are you trying to do,
quote the serenity prayer?

197
00:07:34,823 --> 00:07:36,940
'Cause that's the lyrics
to "Livin' on a Prayer."

198
00:07:38,827 --> 00:07:40,693
ANNOUNCER: He cuts to the middle.

199
00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:42,445
- There he is, first down!
- Got to go.

200
00:07:42,447 --> 00:07:44,831
- 27 yard line, Michael...
- (Adam chuckles)

201
00:07:44,833 --> 00:07:46,366
What the hell's going on here?

202
00:07:46,368 --> 00:07:47,750
We're watching a game.

203
00:07:47,752 --> 00:07:49,535
No, you're undermining

204
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,787
everything I'm trying to do.

205
00:07:50,789 --> 00:07:52,088
What are you talking about?

206
00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:53,790
I know what she's talking about.

207
00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:55,842
Good luck.

208
00:07:55,844 --> 00:07:57,794
- What's your deal?
- Bup-bup-bup.

209
00:07:57,796 --> 00:07:59,629
ANNOUNCER: ... at the slot, nice break.

210
00:07:59,631 --> 00:08:00,630
(door slams)

211
00:08:00,632 --> 00:08:02,048
Maybe you don't know,

212
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:04,217
but we are in a crisis
with that young man

213
00:08:04,219 --> 00:08:06,636
and you're sitting here
getting drunk in front of him!

214
00:08:06,638 --> 00:08:09,806
I'm not getting drunk.
I'm getting happy.

215
00:08:09,808 --> 00:08:11,608
You're making drinking look cool.

216
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:13,142
I make everything look cool,

217
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,656
it's what I do.

218
00:08:15,196 --> 00:08:16,375
Don't you sass me!

219
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,687
Don't you talk to me
like I'm a six-year-old.

220
00:08:18,712 --> 00:08:20,066
Nobody told me I can't drink

221
00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:21,150
in front of the kid.

222
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,068
What's going on?

223
00:08:22,070 --> 00:08:23,119
Why didn't you tell him

224
00:08:23,121 --> 00:08:24,320
he couldn't drink in front of Roscoe?

225
00:08:24,322 --> 00:08:25,371
Because that's stupid,

226
00:08:25,373 --> 00:08:27,957
- and I don't say stupid things.
- Sure you do.

227
00:08:27,959 --> 00:08:28,992
Wait,

228
00:08:28,994 --> 00:08:30,159
we're on the same side.

229
00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:31,928
Oh, so now there are sides?

230
00:08:31,953 --> 00:08:33,496
Everyone against me?

231
00:08:33,498 --> 00:08:34,964
We're not against you,
it's just that you're

232
00:08:34,966 --> 00:08:35,965
trying to raise your kid like he's

233
00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:37,800
the boy in the plastic bubble.

234
00:08:37,802 --> 00:08:38,885
Good movie.

235
00:08:38,887 --> 00:08:40,086
John Travolta. People didn't really

236
00:08:40,088 --> 00:08:42,138
respect his acting chops
coming off of Kotter,

237
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:44,507
but he showed some
serious range in that.

238
00:08:44,509 --> 00:08:46,009
What is wrong with you?

239
00:08:46,011 --> 00:08:47,500
Sorry, sorry.

240
00:08:47,871 --> 00:08:49,837
Turns out I am a little drunk.

241
00:08:49,981 --> 00:08:51,514
All right, new rule:

242
00:08:51,516 --> 00:08:52,899
no more beer in the house, ever!

243
00:08:52,901 --> 00:08:54,684
- What about...
- No weed either!

244
00:08:54,686 --> 00:08:55,902
(groaning)

245
00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:57,103
And if he's coming over,

246
00:08:57,105 --> 00:08:58,271
I need to know about it ahead of time!

247
00:08:58,273 --> 00:08:59,856
- Why?
- Because I need to know!

248
00:08:59,858 --> 00:09:01,774
Okay, you're way over the line.

249
00:09:01,776 --> 00:09:03,326
Don't you tell me I'm over the line!

250
00:09:03,328 --> 00:09:04,410
A couple of years ago,

251
00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:06,913
the only lines you
knew went up your nose!

252
00:09:09,701 --> 00:09:12,148
Crazy never takes a
day off here, does it?

253
00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:23,896
So it turns out,

254
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:26,031
my old boyfriend is
a little less divorced

255
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,554
than I was led to believe.

256
00:09:28,118 --> 00:09:29,179
What does that mean?

257
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,234
He's happily married

258
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,436
and his wife was out of town.

259
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,105
I guess that's the end of that.

260
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,734
Well, that's the obvious move.

261
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,617
I'll keep you posted.

262
00:09:39,531 --> 00:09:41,912
- Where's your mom?
- Who cares?

263
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,164
Oh, no, don't tell me

264
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,999
you two are bickering.

265
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,534
Back me up here.

266
00:09:46,536 --> 00:09:49,420
Her boyfriend was drinking
beer in front of Roscoe.

267
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,955
That's a huge problem, right?

268
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,456
I don't think so.

269
00:09:53,015 --> 00:09:54,125
Wow.

270
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,127
Et Tu, Marjorie?

271
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,797
Someone wants us to know
they're going to college.

272
00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:04,935
Of all people, I thought
you'd see what I'm up against.

273
00:10:05,297 --> 00:10:07,805
Well, Christy, you have to
know that watching your son

274
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,191
every minute of the
day is not the answer.

275
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,754
I think you're wrong. I
think it's the perfect answer.

276
00:10:13,586 --> 00:10:15,696
You know when I was a little girl,

277
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,615
my parents gave me a baby duck.

278
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,033
I named him Lucky.

279
00:10:19,297 --> 00:10:21,369
This better go somewhere, Wendy.

280
00:10:21,605 --> 00:10:23,124
Hang on.

281
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,289
I was so afraid that
something would happen

282
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,958
to my little baby duck, I
took him with me everywhere.

283
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,411
Seriously, I'm a woman on the edge.

284
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,464
He had a cage in the
backyard, but I was worried

285
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,300
coyotes would eat him, so I
brought him to bed with me.

286
00:10:36,476 --> 00:10:37,585
And?

287
00:10:37,587 --> 00:10:41,806
And... I accidentally rolled
on top of him in my sleep,

288
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,922
and that was it for poor Lucky.

289
00:10:44,427 --> 00:10:48,012
So you're saying I could kill
my son by caring about him?

290
00:10:48,156 --> 00:10:50,858
I think she's saying, in
her own adorable way...

291
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:51,682
Thank you.

292
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:54,929
... that it is possible to
love something too much.

293
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,898
You really think I need
to stop seeing that guy?

294
00:10:58,941 --> 00:11:00,691
Hang on, Jill.

295
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,054
I mean, his wife's
not back till Tuesday.

296
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,031
Christy, is there a chance

297
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,700
that you're going past
mothering into smothering?

298
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:11,836
You know, Marjorie,
just because it rhymes

299
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,254
doesn't make it good advice.

300
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:16,554
Oh, I've been wanting
to say that for so long.

301
00:11:17,398 --> 00:11:19,293
You're carrying around so much anger

302
00:11:19,295 --> 00:11:21,462
about your mother, about your son.

303
00:11:21,464 --> 00:11:23,214
Have you thought of trying Al-Anon?

304
00:11:23,672 --> 00:11:25,633
I don't want to go to Al-Anon.

305
00:11:25,635 --> 00:11:27,935
All those people do is bitch and moan.

306
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:33,941
All right, I'll say it.

307
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,679
You'll fit right in!

308
00:11:36,312 --> 00:11:38,362
I just think it would
help you put your focus

309
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,731
on yourself instead of the
things you can't control.

310
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,336
Unbelievable.

311
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:45,286
I come to you with serious
concerns about my child,

312
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,655
and you give me more
meetings and dead ducks.

313
00:11:47,657 --> 00:11:50,908
It was just one dead
duck, and he had a name!

314
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,289
- What?
- Nothing.

315
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:07,614
- It's just...
- (sighs)

316
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:13,931
When I got sober, I began to understand

317
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,400
the damage that I'd done to
my kids while I was drinking.

318
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,768
And it haunts me.

319
00:12:17,906 --> 00:12:20,319
I beat myself up about it every day.

320
00:12:20,344 --> 00:12:22,907
And so I just wonder what
it must be like for you

321
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,148
to not have any of those
feelings about yourself.

322
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,280
It's okay.

323
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,082
(door opens)

324
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,835
- Hey, bud.
- Hey.

325
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,787
We're all done, but I'd love to talk

326
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,789
to the two of you for a few minutes.

327
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,291
Roscoe, you can wait here.

328
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,759
By himself?

329
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:43,844
Yeah, I saw it.

330
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,179
Please.

331
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,717
So I've talked to
Roscoe a few times now,

332
00:12:49,719 --> 00:12:51,969
and I've also spoken
to some of his teachers,

333
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:55,189
and I feel confident that he
does not have a drug problem.

334
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,807
Oh, that's terrific.

335
00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:58,943
An actual doctor says he
doesn't have a problem.

336
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,312
You are an actual doctor, right?

337
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,646
I am.

338
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,648
I'm only asking 'cause in California

339
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,817
any clown can hang a shingle.

340
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:10,321
What are you basing that
on, what Roscoe says?

341
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,656
He can lie to you just
like he lied to us.

342
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:15,750
That's true, but I've been
doing this a long time.

343
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:18,712
I've also been sober for
22 years, and I think that

344
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:22,082
what we're seeing with Roscoe
is typical experimentation.

345
00:13:22,578 --> 00:13:25,836
A 12-year-old smoking
pot hardly seems typical.

346
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,039
It's not as unusual as you might think.

347
00:13:28,268 --> 00:13:29,267
You were 12.

348
00:13:29,292 --> 00:13:31,459
I was 11, and you're not helping.

349
00:13:33,234 --> 00:13:35,179
So, what, you expect me to go home

350
00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,597
and pretend this is no big deal?

351
00:13:36,599 --> 00:13:38,515
- I think what Dr. LaSalle is saying...
- Hey!

352
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:41,867
I'm not spending $150
an hour to hear from you.

353
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:46,273
Can you promise me that
this isn't gonna lead

354
00:13:46,275 --> 00:13:48,192
to a bigger problem down the line?

355
00:13:48,445 --> 00:13:49,994
No, I can't.

356
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,780
But I can tell you that
your son's trying very hard

357
00:13:52,782 --> 00:13:54,665
to rebuild his trust with you.

358
00:13:55,203 --> 00:13:57,868
Well, it takes a long
time to get my trust back.

359
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,187
I'm going into my third decade.

360
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,925
Christy, I know what
you're going through.

361
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,212
My husband and I have
teenagers ourselves.

362
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:09,463
It's a scary world,

363
00:14:09,465 --> 00:14:11,765
and you want to protect
them from everything.

364
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,101
But sometimes all you
can do is stay close

365
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,945
and let them find their own way.

366
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,867
Well put.

367
00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:21,392
Hey, while we're here,

368
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,810
I've been having

369
00:14:22,812 --> 00:14:25,492
a recurring dream where I'm at a...

370
00:14:26,023 --> 00:14:28,365
a big fancy banquet,
and there are a lot of

371
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,901
important people there, but
I can't for the life of me

372
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,453
find a place to pee.

373
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,489
What do you think that means?

374
00:14:35,883 --> 00:14:37,241
Mom! Roscoe.

375
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:39,711
Oh, sorry, I thought
we were done with him.

376
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:43,714
Roscoe, wait here.

377
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,029
I'm gonna talk to your
dad before you go in.

378
00:14:46,054 --> 00:14:47,444
You mean yell at him?

379
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:49,136
Would you rather I yell at you?

380
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,554
Take your time.

381
00:14:54,008 --> 00:14:55,319
Put those down.

382
00:14:55,898 --> 00:14:57,761
Are you gonna yell at me, too?

383
00:14:57,763 --> 00:15:01,125
No. I think your mom's done
enough of that for both of us.

384
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,233
I just want to know how you're doing.

385
00:15:03,562 --> 00:15:06,639
Everybody keeps asking
me that. I'm fine.

386
00:15:06,664 --> 00:15:08,238
You know what, that's probably true.

387
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,606
I think you are fine.

388
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:10,691
You do?

389
00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:13,797
Yeah. Your biggest problem is
you come from a crazy family.

390
00:15:13,822 --> 00:15:15,663
BAXTER: Oh, for God's sakes, Christy!

391
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,449
I'm not putting a surveillance
camera in his room!

392
00:15:19,976 --> 00:15:23,454
And you have every reason to
be mad at your mom and dad.

393
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,788
And even me.

394
00:15:25,109 --> 00:15:28,625
- I am kind of sometimes.
- I totally get it.

395
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,928
I spent most of my life
pissed off at the world.

396
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,380
So I got high, I made bad choices,

397
00:15:33,382 --> 00:15:36,273
and then I got even higher
to forget the bad choices.

398
00:15:36,782 --> 00:15:38,415
Your mom wasn't much different.

399
00:15:38,417 --> 00:15:42,164
She was mad at me, so she
did a lot of dumb things.

400
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:45,734
Thank God both of us
got our lives together.

401
00:15:45,899 --> 00:15:49,008
BAXTER: Yes, there's wine in
the cellar, beer in the fridge,

402
00:15:49,033 --> 00:15:52,758
and thanks to you, Xanax
in the medicine cabinet!

403
00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:57,804
My point is...

404
00:15:57,959 --> 00:16:01,010
the best thing you can
do is take your anger

405
00:16:01,012 --> 00:16:02,941
and turn it into something positive.

406
00:16:02,966 --> 00:16:05,264
In fact, if you really want
to be a rebel in this family,

407
00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:06,632
don't waste your time getting high,

408
00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:08,935
do well in school and succeed in life.

409
00:16:10,388 --> 00:16:12,081
I guess I can do that.

410
00:16:12,326 --> 00:16:14,442
And if the goal is just
to piss off your mom,

411
00:16:14,467 --> 00:16:16,884
make a lot of money
and buy Grandma a condo.

412
00:16:18,613 --> 00:16:21,599
BAXTER: You kicked me!
I can't believe you kicked me!

413
00:16:26,154 --> 00:16:27,787
Maybe everyone's mad at me,

414
00:16:27,789 --> 00:16:29,488
but I think I'm handling
this really well.

415
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:31,707
Everyone is mad at you, and you're not.

416
00:16:31,709 --> 00:16:35,355
Disagree. I'm a mama bear
fiercely protecting her cub.

417
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:37,330
Yeah, or you're a middle-aged drunk

418
00:16:37,355 --> 00:16:39,646
who's projecting her fears
about herself onto her son.

419
00:16:39,671 --> 00:16:42,088
Hey, I'm not middle-aged
till next March.

420
00:16:44,524 --> 00:16:46,529
Where'd you come up
with this stuff anyway?

421
00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:49,258
I've been going to Al-Anon.

422
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:50,593
Why?

423
00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:53,279
Because I live with an
alcoholic who drives me nuts.

424
00:16:55,743 --> 00:16:57,091
Me?

425
00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:01,854
So, wait, you're going to
meetings to deal with me?

426
00:17:01,856 --> 00:17:04,273
I go to meetings to
deal with a lot of stuff.

427
00:17:04,275 --> 00:17:05,908
But, yeah, mostly you.

428
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:08,517
How long has this been going on?

429
00:17:08,613 --> 00:17:09,862
Not long.

430
00:17:09,864 --> 00:17:11,443
Two years.

431
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:13,532
Why are we stopping?

432
00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:14,867
'Cause I'm going to an Al-Anon meeting.

433
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:15,918
You want to come?

434
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,388
- No, I would not.
- Fine.

435
00:17:19,791 --> 00:17:21,624
You're not gonna try to talk me into it?

436
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:24,162
No. I'm leaving that up to you.

437
00:17:24,187 --> 00:17:25,854
'Cause I can't control
anyone else's life,

438
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,662
I can only control my own.

439
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:30,633
And, yeah, that can be really scary,

440
00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:33,458
especially when it's your kid
and you love them very much.

441
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,625
And that's what I learned at Al-Anon.

442
00:17:35,650 --> 00:17:37,733
Anyway, I'll see you in an hour.

443
00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:41,185
- Try not to get abducted.
- Wait.

444
00:17:42,814 --> 00:17:44,397
Do they have coffee?

445
00:17:44,399 --> 00:17:46,044
Yeah, but I wouldn't drink it.

446
00:17:46,638 --> 00:17:49,771
- Fine, I'll go.
- Great. Oh, just a heads up.

447
00:17:49,796 --> 00:17:52,631
You're kind of famous in this
meeting, but not in a good way.

448
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:53,821
What?!

449
00:17:53,846 --> 00:17:56,013
What did you say about me?!

450
00:18:03,311 --> 00:18:04,844
When I left the house this morning,

451
00:18:04,846 --> 00:18:07,263
my wife was already three drinks in.

452
00:18:07,265 --> 00:18:09,159
I know I'm not supposed to count,

453
00:18:09,184 --> 00:18:10,961
but I just happened to notice.

454
00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:17,050
And when I was walking out, she asked
me if I would call in sick for her.

455
00:18:17,481 --> 00:18:19,181
But I didn't do it.

456
00:18:20,912 --> 00:18:22,529
You see, because she's not sick.

457
00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:26,341
I mean, she is, but in a different way.

458
00:18:27,654 --> 00:18:29,836
It used to be that I
would spend the whole day

459
00:18:29,838 --> 00:18:31,699
just worryin' about her,

460
00:18:31,724 --> 00:18:35,162
about us and what was gonna happen.

461
00:18:37,521 --> 00:18:39,629
But I actually wound
up having a good day.

462
00:18:40,146 --> 00:18:43,299
Went to work, had
lunch with some friends,

463
00:18:43,495 --> 00:18:45,575
came here, and...

464
00:18:46,248 --> 00:18:48,544
I'll deal with home when I get there.

465
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,479
Anyway, thanks.

466
00:18:53,949 --> 00:18:55,498
LINDA: We have time for one more.

467
00:18:55,523 --> 00:18:57,440
Would our newcomer like to share?

468
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:04,115
Oh. Okay.

469
00:19:05,263 --> 00:19:08,029
Hi. I'm Christy and I'm...

470
00:19:09,287 --> 00:19:11,349
- What am I here?
- You're Christy.

471
00:19:11,563 --> 00:19:13,863
- That's it?
- That's enough. Go.

472
00:19:14,999 --> 00:19:16,465
Right.

473
00:19:16,562 --> 00:19:18,228
Uh...

474
00:19:20,728 --> 00:19:23,349
I don't know what to say exactly.

475
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,914
I guess what's happening is, uh...

476
00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:32,126
... my 12-year-old
son's been

477
00:19:32,253 --> 00:19:34,568
smoking pot and drinking beer.

478
00:19:35,751 --> 00:19:37,082
And...

479
00:19:40,921 --> 00:19:42,554
I'm...

480
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,418
I'm just really, really scared.

481
00:19:51,629 --> 00:19:54,047
(quietly): She's usually
a lot more annoying.

482
00:19:56,915 --> 00:20:00,732
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
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