Why isn't that lamp on?
I made that shade for you three sessions ago
and you've never turned it on.
The chemical smell coming off it
led me to do some research on papier-mâché.
The word "flammable" kept coming up.
Flammable, inflammable.
I can never get it straight. Which one are kid's pajamas?
The point is, thin smelly paper and heat
are not two things I want to put together.
Look, I have a spare room.
I've got to do something productive with it.
Doesn't have to be papier-mâché.
It could be something more game-changing,
like, I don't know, driftwood furniture.
I like it. Repurposing.
When Christy was little, "repurposing"
was just a fancy word for survival.
You find a TV set on the side of the road,
you break out the glassand turn it into puppet theater.
Inventive.
Until it gets stolen, then you're stuck
with two potatoes that have wigs.
Uh, by the way, how's Christy doing?
She's great. Did you know how big driftwood furniture was
in the '60s?
I think it's time for a comeback,
like civil disobedience and feathered hair.
You have no idea how great I looked with feathered hair.
I have another client whose daughter went away to college.
It's a big life change.
It's hard to concentrate on what you're saying,
what with it being so dark in here.
Fine, I'll turn it on.
Huh.
Maybe I was wrong.
Really gives the room a nice, warm glow.
Oh!
Say what you will, but that was frickin' cool.
♪
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Ooh.
How many dating sites are you on?
All of them, including Farmers Only.
I can get a whole lot of house in Iowa.
You have a whole lot of house here.
Yeah, but it doesn't have a sexy farmer in it.
I don't know. I havea bone to pick with farmers.
Why should the whole worldhave to change their clocks
twice a year just because theydon't want to work in the dark?
Bring a flashlight.
Jill, I think it's great you're trying to be proactive,
but you and Andy just broke up.
It's okay to be sad.
Nope. I'm skipping over the "sweatpants,
"pint of ice cream, head under the water in the tub
a little too long" stage.
Hey, what about that guy Davewho shared at the meeting today?
Dave is two days sober.He's still got more meth
in his systemthan a rodeo clown.
Yeah, what I'm hearing is he can stay up all night
and has laser focus.
Geez Louise, has it been 20 minutes already?
We need to feed the parking meter.
You know, if you put more than 25 cents in at a time, you...
Don't start with me, Tammy.
Here, we should usethese nickels.
I'm going to the ladies'.
Oh, my God,she drives me insane.
I picked up on the whole"we" means "you" thing.
You don't even knowthe half of it.
I mean, you guys get to seewise, patient Marjorie.
I live with her.I see Marjorie raw and uncut.
She lashes out if things aren't done her way.
She hovers around me going, "No, no, no. No, no, no."
All I can think of is what those"No, no, no's" would sound like
under a pillow.
[muffled]: No, no, no.That's not how you smother.
No...
Why don't you just stand your ground?
'Cause I'm more comfortable seething with resentment.
On my way, boss. I hate my life.
So I'm thinking I put my driftwood bin here,
my table saw here.
Oh, by the way, we're gonna needto go to the beach this weekend.
No place my wheelchair loves more than the beach.
So you're locked in on driftwood?
I just said I had a driftwood bin.
Yes, I'm locked in on it.
God, see, this is what it was like for the masters.
Michelangelo's husband sat there eating a grape going,
[Italian accent]: "I don't get it, why paint on the ceilings?"
Little hard to keep up.
Yesterday you were looking at kilns.
This conversation is over.
How do you stay so cool?
'Cause I know it's not about me.
She's yelling at you. Isn't that about you?
I used to think that, and then I saw her yelling
at a hat blowing down the street.
Was it a fedora? Because a lot of us were lied to
about how fashionable those were.
I'm angry, too.
No, the point is it's not personal.
I just wish I could be that zen with Marjorie.
She's never satisfied no matter how hard I try.
She has 24 different sighs to convey disappointment.
She can even close the fridge in a way that says,
"You've let me down."
You know, all those sentences started with "she."
[scoffs] Because she's the problem.
[laughs]: Hey, I get it. It took me a long time
to learn how to live with Bonnie.
But I started going to Al-Anon meetings
and that really helped me with this whole
"living with a lunatic" stuff.
I don't think I'm allowed to go to those meetings
because I'm an alcoholic.
Oh, we have plenty of alcoholics there.
We call you double winners.
Double winners?Yeah.
I like it already.
No offense,
but I think this wood drifted out to sea for a reason.
You know, if you're gonna complain,
I'm not gonna make you one for Christmas.
[thumping on door]
Hey, how you doing?
[quietly]: You see her, too, right?
Oh, uh, wow. Look at that. [chuckles]
Gorgeous, right?
It certainly is a unique shape.
It's like someone spilled something
and that spill hardened into a table.
Are you bringing it just to show me?
Well, it's not going back in my car.
Oh, hi. It's Jill, right?
Aren't you sweet to remember?
How have you been?Getting heavy.
Oh, uh, let me help you with that.
Well, would you look at that?
Chivalry is not dead.
No, but something in this table sure smells like it is.
That could be a sand crab.
I probably should've let the wood dry out.
Where do you want it? Here? Good.
This is lovely.
Big upgrade since the last time I was here.
Oh, yeah, no lawn chairs, it's not dark
and there's a plant in the corner instead of me weeping.
Oh, hush that fuss.
It's nice to see a man's sensitive side.
Okay, Scarlett.
Cutting in on my healing time.
Yeah, I should get going back to my big old lonely house.
Uh, let me show you to the door.
It's the door-shaped hole with the door attached to it
right behind me.
That room is just brimming with potential,
but Adam doesn't see it.
He's just not capable of supporting my dreams.
Well, your dreams have been quite the moving target.
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, let me see.
Um, I don't have them all, but, uh, florist.
Cobbler.
Cartoon voice-over actor.
Mayor.
Excuse me, y-you've been writing down what I say?
Yeah. What do you think I've been doing?
Grocery list, drawing penises. I don't know.
How about we step back and examine
your recent entrepreneurial impulses?
And where they come from.
You mean like you stepped back to ogle my friend Jill?
What?
Oh, come on, I saw you.
You practically stepped on your tongue.
That is ridiculous.
If you say so.
[laughs]: Oh, I am, I'm freshly dating.
I'm not ready for divorce.
I-I mean... You know what I mean.
Wow, it's like watching a coming-of-age movie.
Can we please get back to you and your creative pursuits?
Maybe I could photograph babies.
Every phone call with my mom used to be a boxing match.
So I set a boundary.
I talk to her until I hear the ice in her glass,
then I say, "Bye, Mom, I love you."
Detach with love.
I don't go to bed angry, and with all my new free time,
I learned to play the guitar.
"Detach with love." Did she just make that up?
No, no, that's a big one around here.
Wow, it's so weird to hear this side of it.
I mean, technically, I have heard this side of it,
but I wasn't exactly sober at my intervention.
[applause]
Would anyone else like to share?
Uh, hi, I'm Adam.
ALL: Hi, Adam.
Uh, okay, well, this won't take long.
I had a great week,
which is kind of a miracle since my wife is spinning out.
Normally, I would try to stop it,
but that's like trying to stop a fan with your hand.
[imitates grinding] And then you just end up with a bloody stump.
So, I just walked away.
And let me tell you,
I win all those fights that don't happen.
Thanks.
Is that also something you guys say?
No, that one I just came up with.
[imitates explosion]
Would our, uh, newcomer like to share?
Oh, sure. Uh, okay. [clears throat]
Hi, I'm Tammy.ALL: Hi, Tammy.
Uh, this is my first meeting.
Um, I'm here because, well, I live with an alcoholic.
I also am an alcoholic,
so from all of us to all of you, sorry.
Oh, no, no, no. That's the coffee urn.
We use the other one for hot water.
What's the difference?
[scoffs] "What's the difference?"
[sighs]What?
You could've saved the water.
You know what?
I love you, and I think you got this.
God, that feels good.
What?I just Al-Anon'd the crap out of Marjorie.
Oh, right. You went to Adam's meeting.
So what did he say about me?
You know I can't tell you that.
[sighs] Thought if I asked it real fast,
you could make it happen.
[sighs] I did another lap around the room.
None of the guys got better looking.
One even got worse.
You're cruising an 11:00 a.m. meeting on a Wednesday.
What about Harry?
He gave up corn and his eczema went away.
You know what didn't go away?
Complaining about his eczema.
We get it, Harry. Move on.
Bonnie, I was thinking, would you mind if I...
Trevor's off-limits.
But that's not what--
I-I mean, I wasn't even...
Why?
Because he's my therapist.
I like to think he folds up at the end of the day
and goes in the cupboard.
That's true. Therapists and magicians
should not have sex lives.
What about me? I need one.
I'd rather you date the twitchy meth head.
Oh, he's got a girlfriend. I checked.
Here's the thing. The minute I decide
what I'm gonna be doing in that room, I'm in a box.
And then, for the rest of my life, I'm the hot palm reader
in the upstairs bedroom.
Oh, you're gonna be a psychic?
Great, you just put me in a box.
And I knew you were gonna do it.
Perhaps your reluctance to choose a course of action
might be tied to the room itself.
I know. There's a weird energy in there.
I think it might be haunted.
Or perhaps...
someone you cared about deeply used to live in it.
I don't know who rented it before me.
As I recall, they left an ashtray.
God, don't you miss smoking?
Oh, I smoke.
You lucky bastard.
Describe your last cigarette in detail.
But before, I was referring to Christy.
Why?
Because I was trying to make you see
that maybe you don't want to change the room
because, as long as it stays the same,
then you can still believe
that Christy might be coming back to it.
And altering it means
you might have to accept the fact
that she might be gone for good.
That's ridiculous.
Humor me.
How about I give you a homework assignment?
Ugh. Go on.
Before you worry about what's going in,
how about you worry about packing up what's going out?
Did you wear cologne 'cause you thought
you'd see my friend Jill today?
I'm sorry, we're out of time.
Can we get these groceries put away?
Marjorie, I love you, but I'm good.
I didn't ask if you were good.
I just want to get the salmon into the fridge
before the cats catch on.
I love you. You got this.
We don't leave an eggy plate in the sink without rinsing it.
I do. But I say that with much affection.
Okay.
Time to chat.
All of a sudden,
you have been very cold,
very distant, very...
Detached with love?
Just because you've said "I love you" a thousand times
doesn't mean it's been loving.
Well, I've been going to Al-Anon and learning about boundaries.
I'm familiar with that program,
and you're not doing it right.
See? Always correcting me.
And I'm always pretzeling myself to please you.
I've never even told you I hate salmon.
[exhales] Weight lifted.
I don't think you realize how hard you are to live with.
You have so many rules.
[sighs] Well, it is my house.
Yes, but it happens at the bistro, it happens at meetings,
it happened in the dressing room at Marshalls.
I can put my own shirt on!
It was a turtleneck, Tammy.
They're tricky.
I didn't realize you were so unhappy.
Ah. I wasunhappy,
but now I win every discussion I don't have.
What?Something we say. You wouldn't get it.
By the way, the cats are going to town on the salmon.
Oh!
No, no, no! No, no, no!
Where do you want to start?
I don't care.
This is Trevor's lame assignment.
Okay, well, why don't we tackle the closet first?
Oh, good idea.
Unbelievable.
Christy could've packed this up a little. [scoffs]
Look at all these tiny hoodies.
You'd think I have a ten-year-old son.
She probably left stuff here for when she visits.
Oh, like that's gonna happen.
Of course it is.
No, she used to call me every day.
Now I'm lucky if she calls me once a week.
She's busy.Yeah, not too busy
to have two dates with a guy.
Too busy to tell me. I had to hear about it from Wendy.
Oh, you mean Bennett.
Bennett?!
His name is Bennett?
[scoffs]
Bet he wears boat shoes.
Bonnie!
What? By the time she's done with school,
she'll be too fancy for these clothes
and too fancy for me!
Those just as easily could've gone in the boxes.
Yeah. You're right.
Oh, she's not gonna need this.
She's not gonna need this.
A picture of me she obviously didn't want.
Oh, look, the earrings I gave her which she said she loved
but I guess not enough to take to law school.
Okay, Bon, come here and sit down.
What, on the bed Christy's never gonna sleep in again?
Not gonna need this anymore!
What's going on up there?!
Don't worry! My therapist told me to do this!
[Bonnie shouting, grunting in distance]
What's happening?I have no idea. One minute, we're boxing up clothes,
the next,she's freaking out.Why?
Christy has too many sweatshirts and she's never coming home.
That's crazy.
Agreed. Let's bail and hit a meeting.
No, I'm not gonna bail on my wife.
But this isn't about you. Don't get sucked in.
Bloody stumps!
Tammy, you can have boundaries and still help people.
Bonnie! Can you come down so we can talk?
BONNIE: No!
You tried. Let's go.
Shh.
Oh, it's gone quiet. That's not good.
All right, I'm gonna need your help to get up the stairs.
Piggyback or cradle you like a baby?
[stammers] I can handle myself.
I just need you to carry my chair.
Oh, right. God, I'm always offering too much.
Bonnie?
Adam?
What are you doing up here?
I came to check on you.
Seems like you're... having a hard time.
Or maybe it always looks like this.
I don't know. I've never seen it.
It's usually a little neater.
So, what are you doing in the closet?
Or do you hang out there?
I don't know. Again, first time up here.
My daughter abandoned me.
Aw, honey.
It's true.
I haven't wanted to face it, but it's true.
Come here.
Trevor was right. [cries]
The reason I couldn't figure out what to do with this room
was because I...
I didn't want to accept that Christy's not coming back.
I guess I just was hoping
she'd realize she wasn't cut out for the winter and come home.
But...
she's got a good coat.
She's thriving without me, so...
Babe, did you ever think that maybe she's thriving
becauseof you?
[exhales] That's dumb.
Did you know she's dating someone?
You mean Bennett?
[crying]: Oh...Shh.
Christy's not gone forever.
And you've been so strong.
I'm not surprised it's hitting you.
I have been strong.
Well, let me be strong tonight
and you just let it out.
[crying]
Am I crazy or could we fit a Ping-Pong table in here?
Hey.
Hey.[door closes]
You want some help with that?
Is that a trick question?
No.
Listen, I've been trying out some new habits,
and I haven't quite got the hang of it.
I'm sorry.
Well,
I have some old habits that have crept back in,
and I'm sorry, too.
I love you.
No, sincerely. I'm not doing the thing.
But now it sounds fake. Forget it.
No, no, no. I...
[groans softly]
I love you, too.
[doorbell rings]
Hi.
Bonnie's not here.
Oh, I didn't come to see Bonnie.
I came to see you.
As a patient?
No, I already have a therapist.
His name is Ted. He's my personal shopper at Neiman's.
[chuckles]
I came bearing gifts.
Wow, this is nice.
I made it.
I'm a little crafty, too.
Oh, a lot crafty. [chuckles][chuckles]
Last time I was here, I noticed you had a naked tissue box.
I'm comfortable with all things naked,
but, in your line of work,
I thought it might be nice to spruce it up a bit.
Thank you, Jill.
Now every time somebody has a nervous breakdown,
you'll think of me.
[chuckles] I will.[chuckles]
Oh. Um, unfortunately, I'm expecting a client.
Oh. No worries.
I got to go anyway.
I'm parked next to a karate studio.
See you round.
[chuckles softly]
See ya.
[whispers]: All things naked?
Huh.
Perfect fit. Hmm.
[clears throat]
[inhales, exhales]
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