1 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,598 Oh, my! 2 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,642 A handsome interloper 3 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:19,978 has happened upon my impromptu picnic. 4 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:37,496 Allow me to cool my décolletage with an icy glass of sweet tea. 5 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,208 You need to come with me. 6 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,961 Are you not seeing what's happening here? 7 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,008 You're a traveling salesman, 8 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,386 and my daddy has gone to town for seeds. 9 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,222 We had a swarm of locusts. 10 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,349 Hey. 11 00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:59,518 You really need to come with me. 12 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:02,229 But... But, well, now I'm stuck with all this sweet tea 13 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,523 and whipped cream and this accent. 14 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,154 Deserted highway, jittery husband. 15 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,864 If I knew you were gonna kill me, 16 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,950 I would've worn sweats. 17 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:17,869 Okay. Look at the billboard. 18 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,455 "Mr. Naughty's." 19 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,207 A strip club? 20 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:25,127 Naked picnic Monday isn't good enough for you anymore? 21 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,920 Look again. 22 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,047 What? It's some poor stripper looking confused and... 23 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,758 Oh, my God, that's my daughter! 24 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,371 It's Christy! 25 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,582 Yeah, we know it's Christy. 26 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,125 I knew her eyes were big, 27 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,961 but now they're, like, six feet tall. 28 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,297 And I think they're following me. 29 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,759 She hung up her tassels ages ago. 30 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,761 Has that thing been up there for 20 years? 31 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,138 Judging by all the bird poop, yes. 32 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,558 Why couldn't they have pooped on her face? 33 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,602 Poop on her face! 34 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,145 At least it'll be dark soon 35 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,147 and people won't be able to see it. 36 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,861 Poop on the lights! 37 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,533 So, 38 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,370 a giant, half-naked Christy has been up there for decades, 39 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,288 and we had no idea. 40 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,499 You know, I always pictured a boyish figure 41 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,125 under all those hoodies, and, to be honest, 42 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,294 I preferred it that way. 43 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,420 Do you think she knows? 44 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,922 Of course not. 45 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,507 I posted a picture of her on her birthday. 46 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,800 She made me take it down 'cause she didn't like 47 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,385 how her ears looked. 48 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:59,054 Upside, you don't notice her ears on the billboard. 49 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,057 I mean, we've all heard about her stripper days, 50 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,476 but somehow, seeing her 80 feet wide 51 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,978 makes it very real. 52 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:09,648 Yeah. I mean, I know Marjorie lived in a cardboard box, 53 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:12,025 but if I saw it on a billboard, that would be a bummer. 54 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,736 What would that billboard be for? 55 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,447 Dave's Cardboard Box Emporium? 56 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,949 Well, living in a box 57 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,659 was one of the least embarrassing things I did. 58 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:23,245 Thank God social media didn't exist when I was drinking. 59 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,871 Oh, I'm not so lucky. 60 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,249 If you google "drunk socialite moons Wimbledon," 61 00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,167 hello. 62 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:32,170 I'd be mortified if you guys ever saw my episode of Cops. 63 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:35,465 I get arrested, make bail, then get arrested again. 64 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:39,052 Never jaywalk with a goat if you're trying to lay low. 65 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,264 Well, my daughter has come too far 66 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,933 for her hoo-ha to be a roadside attraction. 67 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,102 Christy's gonna lose it when she finds out. 68 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,020 No, she won't, 'cause none of us are telling her. 69 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,355 I'm gonna handle it. 70 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,190 Okay, just... 71 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:55,026 I'm gonna handle it. 72 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,321 This is the best burger I've ever had. 73 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,824 Just mayo and cheese. I'm in heaven! 74 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,535 But mostly I feel bad about Christy. 75 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,539 Operator. 76 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,250 Customer service. 77 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,377 Live person! 78 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,963 What's going on? I'm trying to get through to the strip club, 79 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,548 but they have this whole long menu 80 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,634 about VIP rooms, strip clubs, lost wedding rings. 81 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:22,804 What number do I push to save my daughter's dignity?! 82 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,431 Did you try eight? 83 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,726 Oh, there's Rod. Don't look. 84 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:28,768 Don't look. 85 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,982 Did you all just see that? 86 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,817 No, 'cause you told us not to look. 87 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,069 He completely ignored me. 88 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:41,490 This is why I say dating people from the rooms can get messy. 89 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,742 Marjorie, we're alcoholics. When you say "messy," 90 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:46,912 we hear, "Sounds like fun. Where do I sign up?" 91 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,914 God, why did I hook up with him? 92 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,582 He's so not my type. 93 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,001 He's arrogant and vain and self-centered, 94 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,253 and why hasn't he called me? 95 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,671 Why don't you call him? 96 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,632 Ugh, I don't want anything to do with him. 97 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,342 It's just awkward. 98 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,260 I mean, we've seen each other naked. 99 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,180 Well, I was naked. He kept his boots on. 100 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:08,600 You know, for traction. 101 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,021 So, Rod took his boots off, then took his pants off, 102 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,023 then put his boots back on? 103 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,067 No. Boots stayed on the whole time. 104 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,611 It was like some weird, sexy magic trick. 105 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,489 All right, ladies, let's take our seats. 106 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,498 Did he look? Nope. 107 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,542 Damn it, what a child! 108 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,629 So, how you doing? 109 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,047 You still freaked out about that billboard? 110 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,799 Let me tell you something. 111 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,342 When I first saw it, 112 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,302 I was just a guy driving down a road, 113 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,638 happy to see some advertising that didn't involve 114 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:50,141 personal injury attorneys or eczema. 115 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,894 I started at the feet. All systems go. 116 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,480 Worked my way up the legs. Life is good. 117 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,524 Torso did not disappoint. 118 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,901 And wham! It's my stepdaughter. 119 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,821 I mean, I nearly drove off the road. 120 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,490 So, this strip club-- 121 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,243 where exactly is it located? 122 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,954 I haven't had glitter on the old trousers in a while. 123 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,872 Come on, man. 124 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,375 We're in a bar. Isn't this where men can speak from our hearts? 125 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,252 That's not where you're speaking from. 126 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,754 I am awash in shame. 127 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,673 I'm sorry. It's just this whole thing 128 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:24,050 made me realize that every woman I've ever checked out 129 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,510 is somebody's daughter. 130 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,262 Yeah, but if we all thought that way, 131 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,888 no one would ever have sex again. 132 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,141 The human species would go extinct. 133 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,310 You know, men objectifying women 134 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,187 is what's keeping civilization alive. We're heroes. 135 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,023 We're pigs! No, we're not. 136 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,442 We open the doors, we kill the spiders, 137 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,693 we buy the jewelry. 138 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,111 We have to be better. 139 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,239 Do we? 140 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,868 Yes! That's a person up there on that billboard. 141 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:53,371 With real feelings and a heart and a soul 142 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,123 and a way of eating lasagna from the middle 143 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,916 that's very endearing. 144 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,420 Well, now you're making me feel bad about myself. 145 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,588 Well, you should. 146 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,508 Truth be told, I have been dragging 147 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,511 a little sexual toilet paper around on my shoe lately. 148 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,221 Let me guess. Jill? 149 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,264 Oh, you heard. 150 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,599 Bonnie told me. 151 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,100 When you're married, 152 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,935 other people's adventures are a big deal. 153 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,981 Yeah. I've been avoiding her since we had sex, 154 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:24,903 and perhaps that doesn't feel good to her? 155 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:28,782 I don't think women appreciate that the way we do. 156 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,409 You know what? I'm gonna give her a ring 157 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,827 and invite her down here, 158 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,496 and we can sort it out like two adults. 159 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,039 Good for you. 160 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,874 You know, I-I've told myself over and over again 161 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,085 not to fool around with women from meetings, 162 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,253 but then I get this incredibly compelling counterargument 163 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,755 from my penis. 164 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,799 They are convincing. 165 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,147 Whoops! Sorry. Oh! Carry on. 166 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,235 God, Tuesday afternoon. What is wrong with men? 167 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,323 It's open. 168 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,702 Oh. Hello. 169 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,787 Are you the manager? 170 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,997 Yep. You're too old to work here. 171 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,417 What? 172 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,335 Hey, I could totally work here. 173 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:26,047 All right. Show me what you got. 174 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,343 Wait, no. That's not why I came. 175 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,803 Let me guess. 176 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,722 Your husband is in there, 177 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:37,058 and you need me to go remind him how great his life is back home. 178 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,645 No, my husband knows how great his life is. 179 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,772 Great. 'Cause lately, I've been struggling 180 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,358 to come off as sincere. 181 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,818 May I? 182 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,361 Take your chances. 183 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,079 Many years ago, there was a... 184 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,165 there was a girl-- a lost girl. 185 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,167 But it wasn't the girl's fault. 186 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,377 Her-her mother never gave her the road map she needed 187 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,212 to succeed in life. Mm. 188 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:09,007 Actually, no one ever gave her mother the road map, either. 189 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,341 It's a vicious cycle. 190 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,135 Yeah, I'm familiar with it. 191 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:17,682 Anyway, uh, this girl spent some of her formative years 192 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,684 in this very establishment. 193 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:22,562 Yeah, see, formative years. Now, that's what I hire. 194 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:27,859 Uh-huh. But how many of those end up at Georgetown Law school? 195 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,905 They don't tend to keep in touch after they leave. 196 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,741 Well, my daughter made that journey, 197 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,202 and yet she's still up on your billboard 198 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,578 on Route 29. 199 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,414 You're Christy's mom? 200 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,374 You remember her? 201 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,918 Well, yeah! 202 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,003 Well, I used to be the DJ back then. 203 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,922 Hey, I'm the one who told her 204 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,548 she should work to "Tiny Dancer." 205 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,841 Right? You get it? 206 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:54,135 'Cause she-she's very small. 207 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:59,265 Well, you-you both made something of yourselves. 208 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,852 Yeah, I never dreamed I'd have my own office. 209 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,979 So Christy's still alive, huh? 210 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,106 Wow. That's great. 211 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:11,069 You know, I knew her heart wasn't in the pole. 212 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,571 It's not for everyone. 213 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,948 Well, I'm glad you understand 214 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,908 because it leads me to why I'm here. 215 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,077 I feel that billboard might have a negative impact 216 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,787 on her legal career. 217 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,997 I mean, she may be on the Supreme Court one day, 218 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,624 but not with that thing up there. 219 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,252 Mm, I'm sorry. That billboard's money. 220 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,254 But it's more than 20 years old. 221 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,297 You know, people like the vintage. 222 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,758 Reminds them of a simpler time. 223 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,093 1998? 224 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,386 Wow. 225 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,137 This crazy blue marble, huh? 226 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,681 Just keeps spinning, don't it? 227 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,601 Look, my daughter worked so hard to get where she is. 228 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,271 She shouldn't have to drag her past behind her for eternity. 229 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,273 That's... that's not right. 230 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,819 Neither is smoking indoors, but here we are. 231 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,114 That billboard needs to come down, 232 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,784 and I am not leaving until you change your mind. 233 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,331 Tony, Bruno, I'd like you to consider 234 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,709 what your mothers think of you right now! 235 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,256 The manager wasn't a terrible guy. 236 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,924 He did give me two coupons to the buffet. 237 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,385 Ooh, I love a good strip club buffet. 238 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,971 Yeah. I only got a quick look as I was rudely shown the door, 239 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,514 but there were silver dollar pancakes 240 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,808 and what looked to be an ambrosia salad. 241 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,603 Maybe when we're done vandalizing, we can drop by. 242 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,439 No? Okay. 243 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,817 Now, this little baby takes no prisoners. 244 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:36,613 Two strokes, and it's bye-bye, Christy's questionable choices. 245 00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,657 What's going on? 246 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,284 Could ask you the same thing. 247 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,535 What are you doing with that poor creature? 248 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,370 Oh, the vet says he's pre-diabetic, 249 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,831 so twice a day, we got to walk the hill. 250 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,667 So, it looks like you two have a project. 251 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,836 The strip club wouldn't take down Christy's billboard, 252 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,838 so I'm taking matters into my own hands. 253 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,382 Aha. So you're planning to deface it? 254 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,844 De-face. De-body. De-whole thing. 255 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:03,181 Hold on. Let's make sure we look before we leap. 256 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,682 Great. Now we're gonna get wisdom 257 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,018 from a woman who's walking her cat. 258 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,062 I think what we need here is a meeting, 259 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,106 because your alcoholic brain is running a little wild right now, 260 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,859 and Tammy's getting caught up in the riptide. 261 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,903 I am impressionable. 262 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,199 Maybe I could do a ladies only night. 263 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,825 That way, they won't even have to deal with men. 264 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,577 You know, make the bar kind of a safe haven. 265 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,371 You mean like a lesbian bar? 266 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:29,290 not necessarily a safe haven. 267 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,670 All right, let's try a Sparkly Pony. 268 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,965 Ooh, it has pineapple in it. I'm mildly allergic. 269 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,883 Finally, a little danger! 270 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,804 Jill's here. 271 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,603 This is gonna be harder than I thought. 272 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,233 Hello. Hello. 273 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,818 Uh, thanks for coming. 274 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,737 Mm, no problem. I was in the neighborhood, and... 275 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,281 already dressed like this. 276 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,700 What can I get for you, Jill? 277 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,451 I'm about to ride a Sparkly Pony. 278 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,578 Oh, I'll have one of those, extra sparkle. 279 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,956 Jill, if you had to judge my bar as a whole, 280 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,582 would you say that it respects women? 281 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,750 What? 282 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,293 Never mind. 283 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,631 So, you're the one that called me, 284 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,300 'cause I certainly had no intentions of ever calling you. 285 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,719 I even deleted your contact, 286 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,470 so when you called, it was just a number. 287 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,931 I didn't know who it was, so I picked up, and it was you. 288 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,891 Right. Yes. 289 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,101 Uh, can I get you a drink? 290 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,686 We just did that. 291 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:34,272 Great. Phase one complete, only minor injuries. 292 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,987 I asked you here because I wanted to own up 293 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,531 to my recent aloofness. 294 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,158 Oh, I didn't even notice. 295 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,617 I mean, you're not even in my phone, 296 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,661 but I'm still in yours, so who's aloof now? 297 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,290 Anyway, even if you didn't notice... I didn't. 298 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:55,084 Well, I did, and I didn't treat you 299 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:58,129 with the respect that you deserve. 300 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,007 And I'm sorry. 301 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,384 Mm. Thank you. 302 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,472 Look, we're two adults 303 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,223 who had consensual sex in a vacant apartment. 304 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,810 God, that was hard to say out loud. 305 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:17,523 Just so you know, that's not the kind of behavior 306 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,484 I usually indulge in. 307 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:23,613 Well, it's exactly the kind of behavior I usually indulge in. 308 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,490 And then I leave town. 309 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:29,535 Only, uh, nowhere to go and no money to get there. 310 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,039 I didn't think this one through. 311 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,041 Yeah, I didn't, either. 312 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:38,419 Can-can we just reset 313 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,671 and try being clothes-on, 314 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,049 wave-to-each-other- across-the-room friends? 315 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,009 I can do that. 316 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,179 So, uh, tell me about yourself. 317 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,722 What's your last name? 318 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,811 Hi. Bonnie, alcoholic. 319 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,395 Hi, Bonnie. 320 00:14:56,395 --> 00:15:00,274 This is my first time at the 5:45 meeting. 321 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,319 Not to quibble, but what's the deal? 322 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,155 Can't commit to 5:30? Can't commit to 6:00? 323 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,533 I mean, when do you have dinner? When do you finish work? 324 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,244 Came in handy for us today, though, so thumbs up. 325 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,205 I've been known to do a lot of crazy things 326 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,957 'cause, you know, alcoholic. 327 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,875 And where this brain goes, the body follows. 328 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,961 Sometimes the body goes and the brain just stays behind. 329 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,840 Right now, I'm dealing with a thing where, um, 330 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,967 I'm worried my kid is gonna be embarrassed 331 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:30,221 or hurt or exploited or exposed 332 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,557 to the kind of people who use secondary highways. 333 00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:36,477 She means that literally. It's not a metaphor. 334 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:40,982 I keep questioning if my reaction is alcoholic. 335 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,942 Actually, other people 336 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,111 keep questioning it, 337 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,654 but, yeah, screw that. 338 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,240 Sometimes it's not about being an alcoholic. 339 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,492 Sometimes it's just about being a mom. 340 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,078 A mom who wants to protect her kid. 341 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:57,748 You know what? The more I talk about it, the more I... 342 00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,958 I can't be here. 343 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,004 Should we follow her? 344 00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:04,922 No worries. She's not going anywhere. 345 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,924 I got my keys right... 346 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,134 Son of a bitch! 347 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,558 How far away is your place? 348 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,268 Ten minutes, but my housekeeper's there. 349 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:20,313 How about you? Seven minutes, but my mum's there. 350 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,856 Hit recline. Yeah. 351 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,820 This is going very slowly, but it's only making it hotter. 352 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,660 Oh. Seriously? 353 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,205 Oh, hey, Marjorie. 354 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,457 Oh. Okay. 355 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,833 I'll be right there. 356 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,461 You have to go. 357 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:46,797 Just gonna need a moment before I can zip up again. 358 00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,180 This is fun. 359 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,225 You guys have never been in my car. 360 00:16:57,225 --> 00:17:00,311 I bought it off a volunteer fireman, so it has a siren. 361 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,981 Well, we appreciate the ride. 362 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,400 Even though I can't feel my feet. 363 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,736 I offered you shotgun. 364 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,947 But I couldn't because you're super old, 365 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,907 and I'm inherently kind. 366 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,162 I just had to show you. 367 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,501 Come on, Bonnie! You're gonna get hurt! 368 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:26,671 I don't care! This is my daughter! 369 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:31,050 Damn it, Wendy. Was that you behind me with the siren? 370 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,512 Bonnie, get down from there! 371 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,556 I'm pretty sure you're trespassing. 372 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,224 What? 373 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,642 She said you're trespassing! 374 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,602 Come on. Use your outside voice. 375 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,190 You're gonna end up in jail! 376 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,651 Are you really telling me 377 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:51,570 that if your son was up there in a thong and high heels, 378 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,365 you wouldn't do everything in your power to fix it? 379 00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,075 She has a point. 380 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,203 You are the mama of all bears when it comes to your son. 381 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,830 Well, as your sponsor, 382 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,457 I think there's another way to handle this. 383 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,087 As a mother, I'm coming up! 384 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,387 This is actually fun. 385 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,931 Hey, maybe I should paint one of my houses. 386 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,599 Is that a hickey on your neck? 387 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,060 What? Shh! 388 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,230 Ladies, thank you for dropping whatever 389 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,775 or whoever you were doing to come here and help me. 390 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:33,070 Tammy, did you give her a tail? 391 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,114 I'm gonna paint over it. 392 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,243 Remember, don't look down. 393 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,911 Why? What's wrong with it? 394 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:50,338 Sorry, Christy. Cannot FaceTime with you now. 395 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,264 All right, Boz. 396 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:03,642 We have been through this. You got to exercise. 397 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,481 You heard what the doctor said. 398 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,191 He was very clear. 399 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,193 Okay. 400 00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:15,237 Do you want to be on the low-calorie dry food 401 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,615 when everyone else gets the good stuff? 402 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,535 I'm not giving in. 403 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:24,288 I googled the side effects of feline diabetes, 404 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,040 and they're very upsetting. 405 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,919 Yeah, just a heads-up. 406 00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,921 Looks like we're gonna be late to the meeting again.