1
00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,445
[vocalizing]

2
00:00:13,490 --> 00:00:15,319
[Southern accent]:
Oh, my!

3
00:00:15,362 --> 00:00:17,408
[chuckles] A handsome interloper

4
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:20,803
has happened upon
my impromptu picnic.

5
00:00:32,814 --> 00:00:38,167
Allow me to cool my décolletage
with an icy glass of sweet tea.

6
00:00:40,213 --> 00:00:41,866
You need to come with me.

7
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:44,783
[regular voice]: Are you not
seeing what's happening here?

8
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,572
[Southern accent]:
You're a traveling salesman,

9
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:53,095
and my daddy has gone to town
for seeds.

10
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,881
We had a swarm of locusts.

11
00:00:55,924 --> 00:00:58,014
Hey.

12
00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:00,189
You really need to come with me.

13
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,975
But... But, well, now I'm stuck
with all this sweet tea

14
00:01:03,018 --> 00:01:05,281
and whipped cream
and this accent.

15
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,853
[regular voice]: Deserted
highway, jittery husband.

16
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,769
If I knew
you were gonna kill me,

17
00:01:13,811 --> 00:01:15,596
I would've worn sweats.[sighs]

18
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,730
Okay. Look at the billboard.

19
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,210
"Mr. Naughty's."

20
00:01:21,254 --> 00:01:22,691
A strip club?

21
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:25,823
Naked picnic Monday isn't
good enough for you anymore?

22
00:01:25,867 --> 00:01:27,825
Look again.

23
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,698
What? It's some poor stripper
looking confused and...

24
00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:32,569
Oh, my God,
that's my daughter!

25
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:35,659
♪

26
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,382
It's Christy!

27
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,688
Yeah, we know it's Christy.

28
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,126
I knew her eyes were big,

29
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:08,911
but now they're,
like, six feet tall.

30
00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:11,305
And I think they're
following me.

31
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,656
She hung up her tassels
ages ago.

32
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,658
Has that thing been up there
for 20 years?

33
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:19,139
Judging by all the
bird poop, yes.

34
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:22,620
Why couldn't they have
pooped on her face?

35
00:02:22,663 --> 00:02:24,709
Poop on her face!

36
00:02:24,752 --> 00:02:26,146
At least it'll be dark soon

37
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:28,147
and people won't be able
to see it.

38
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:31,193
[lights click and buzz]

39
00:02:31,237 --> 00:02:33,762
Poop on the lights!

40
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:39,246
So,

41
00:02:39,288 --> 00:02:42,378
a giant, half-naked Christy
has been up there for decades,

42
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:44,293
and we had no idea.

43
00:02:44,337 --> 00:02:46,557
You know, I always pictured
a boyish figure

44
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,123
under all those hoodies,
and, to be honest,

45
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,300
I preferred it that way.

46
00:02:50,343 --> 00:02:51,474
Do you think she knows?

47
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:52,694
Of course not.

48
00:02:52,736 --> 00:02:53,956
I posted a picture of
her on her birthday.

49
00:02:53,998 --> 00:02:55,652
She made me take it down
'cause she didn't like

50
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,045
how her ears looked.

51
00:02:57,088 --> 00:02:59,743
Upside, you don't notice
her ears on the billboard.

52
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,834
I mean, we've all heard
about her stripper days,

53
00:03:02,877 --> 00:03:05,314
but somehow, seeing
her 80 feet wide

54
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,752
makes it very real.

55
00:03:07,795 --> 00:03:10,538
Yeah. I mean, I know Marjorie
lived in a cardboard box,

56
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:12,757
but if I saw it on a billboard,
that would be a bummer.

57
00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:15,673
What would that
billboard be for?

58
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:18,588
Dave's Cardboard
Box Emporium?

59
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:19,850
Well, living in a box

60
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,330
was one of the least
embarrassing things I did.

61
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:24,073
Thank God social media didn't
exist when I was drinking.

62
00:03:24,115 --> 00:03:25,509
Oh, I'm not so lucky.

63
00:03:25,552 --> 00:03:28,076
If you google "drunk
socialite moons Wimbledon,"

64
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,948
hello.

65
00:03:29,991 --> 00:03:32,950
I'd be mortified if you guys
ever saw my episode of Cops.

66
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:36,302
I get arrested, make bail,
then get arrested again.

67
00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:39,828
Never jaywalk with a goat
if you're trying to lay low.

68
00:03:41,611 --> 00:03:43,091
Well, my daughter
has come too far

69
00:03:43,134 --> 00:03:45,659
for her hoo-ha
to be a roadside attraction.

70
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,878
Christy's gonna lose it
when she finds out.

71
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,793
No, she won't, 'cause none of us
are telling her.

72
00:03:49,837 --> 00:03:51,230
I'm gonna handle it.

73
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,014
Okay, just...

74
00:03:53,057 --> 00:03:55,757
I'mgonna handle it.

75
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,151
This is the best burger
I've ever had.

76
00:03:59,194 --> 00:04:01,588
Just mayo and cheese.
I'm in heaven!

77
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:04,461
But mostly I feel bad
about Christy.

78
00:04:06,897 --> 00:04:08,465
Operator.

79
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:11,163
Customer service.

80
00:04:11,206 --> 00:04:13,295
Live person!

81
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,776
What's going on?I'm trying to get through
to the strip club,

82
00:04:15,819 --> 00:04:17,343
but they have
this whole long menu

83
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:20,608
about VIP rooms, strip clubs,
lost wedding rings.

84
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:23,567
What number do I push
to save my daughter's dignity?!

85
00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,307
Did you try eight?

86
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,702
Oh, there's Rod. Don't look.

87
00:04:28,745 --> 00:04:29,747
Don't look.

88
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:34,795
Did you all just see that?

89
00:04:34,838 --> 00:04:36,579
No, 'cause you told us
not to look.

90
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,887
[sighs]
He completely ignored me.

91
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:42,411
This is why I say dating people
from the rooms can get messy.

92
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,762
Marjorie, we're alcoholics.
When you say "messy,"

93
00:04:44,805 --> 00:04:47,721
we hear, "Sounds like fun.
Where do I sign up?"

94
00:04:47,764 --> 00:04:49,680
God, why did I hook up with him?

95
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,507
He's so not my type.

96
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,814
He's arrogant and vain
and self-centered,

97
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:56,207
and why hasn't he called me?

98
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,514
Why don't you call him?

99
00:04:57,557 --> 00:04:59,603
Ugh, I don't want
anything to do with him.

100
00:04:59,646 --> 00:05:01,257
It's just awkward.

101
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,214
I mean,
we've seen each other naked.

102
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:06,130
Well, I was naked.
He kept his boots on.

103
00:05:07,610 --> 00:05:09,612
You know, for traction.

104
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,922
So, Rod took his boots off,
then took his pants off,

105
00:05:13,964 --> 00:05:15,923
then put his boots back on?

106
00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:17,968
No. Boots stayed on
the whole time.

107
00:05:18,012 --> 00:05:20,668
It was like
some weird, sexy magic trick.

108
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:23,497
All right, ladies,
let's take our seats.

109
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,505
Did he look?Nope.

110
00:05:32,548 --> 00:05:34,550
Damn it, what a child!

111
00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:38,641
So, how you doing?

112
00:05:38,685 --> 00:05:39,947
You still freaked out
about that billboard?

113
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,601
Let me tell you something.

114
00:05:41,644 --> 00:05:43,343
When I first saw it,

115
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,300
I was just a guy
driving down a road,

116
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,694
happy to see some advertising
that didn't involve

117
00:05:47,737 --> 00:05:51,045
personal injury attorneys
or eczema.

118
00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:53,744
I started at the feet.
All systems go.

119
00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:56,485
Worked my way up the legs.
Life is good.

120
00:05:56,529 --> 00:05:58,531
Torso did not disappoint.

121
00:05:58,574 --> 00:06:00,750
And wham! It's my stepdaughter.

122
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:03,754
I mean,
I nearly drove off the road.

123
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:06,540
So, this strip club--

124
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:09,281
where exactly is it located?

125
00:06:09,324 --> 00:06:12,197
I haven't had glitter
on the old trousers in a while.

126
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,850
Come on, man.

127
00:06:13,894 --> 00:06:16,418
We're in a bar. Isn't this where
men can speak from our hearts?

128
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,290
That's not where
you're speaking from.

129
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,641
I am awash in shame.

130
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,773
I'm sorry.
It's just this whole thing

131
00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:25,036
made me realize that every woman
I've ever checked out

132
00:06:25,079 --> 00:06:26,603
is somebody's daughter.

133
00:06:26,646 --> 00:06:28,300
Yeah, but if we all
thought that way,

134
00:06:28,343 --> 00:06:29,824
no one
would ever have sex again.

135
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:32,129
The human species
would go extinct.

136
00:06:32,173 --> 00:06:34,350
You know, men objectifying women

137
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,221
is what's keeping civilization
alive. We're heroes.

138
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:38,963
We're pigs!No, we're not.

139
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:41,487
We open the doors,
we kill the spiders,

140
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:42,793
we buy the jewelry.

141
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,098
We have to be better.

142
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,231
Do we?

143
00:06:48,276 --> 00:06:50,800
Yes! That's a person up there
on that billboard.

144
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:54,413
With real feelings
and a heart and a soul

145
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,110
and a way of eating lasagna
from the middle

146
00:06:56,153 --> 00:06:57,851
that's very endearing.

147
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:01,463
Well, now you're making me
feel bad about myself.

148
00:07:01,507 --> 00:07:02,725
Well, you should.

149
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:06,642
Truth be told,
I have been dragging

150
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:09,646
a little sexual toilet paper
around on my shoe lately.

151
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:11,300
Let me guess. Jill?

152
00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:12,387
Oh, you heard.

153
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,781
Bonnie told me.

154
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:14,999
When you're married,

155
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,957
other people's adventures
are a big deal.

156
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:21,004
Yeah. I've been avoiding her
since we had sex,

157
00:07:21,048 --> 00:07:25,879
and perhaps
that doesn't feel good to her?

158
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:29,971
I don't think women
appreciate that the way we do.

159
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,495
You know what?
I'm gonna give her a ring

160
00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:33,757
and invite her down here,

161
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,629
and we can sort it out
like two adults.

162
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:36,933
Good for you.

163
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,848
You know, I-I've told myself
over and over again

164
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,112
not to fool around
with women from meetings,

165
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:43,375
but then I get this incredibly
compelling counterargument

166
00:07:43,418 --> 00:07:44,942
from my penis.

167
00:07:44,985 --> 00:07:46,987
They are convincing.

168
00:07:48,771 --> 00:07:50,774
[electronic music
playing in distance]

169
00:07:59,303 --> 00:08:02,307
Whoops! Sorry. Oh! Carry on.

170
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:06,398
God, Tuesday afternoon.
What is wrong with men?

171
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,490
HANK:
It's open.

172
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,971
Oh. Hello.

173
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,582
Are you the manager?

174
00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:18,802
Yep.
You're too old to work here.

175
00:08:19,802 --> 00:08:21,370
What?

176
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,285
Hey, I could totally work here.

177
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,896
All right. Show me what you got.

178
00:08:28,332 --> 00:08:31,293
Wait, no. That's not why I came.

179
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:32,860
Let me guess. [sniffs]

180
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,514
Your husband is in there,

181
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:37,908
and you need me to go remind him
how great his life is back home.

182
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:41,607
No, my husband knows
how great his life is.

183
00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:43,566
Great. 'Cause lately,
I've been struggling

184
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:46,307
to come off as sincere.

185
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:47,570
May I?

186
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,267
Take your chances.

187
00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,928
Many years ago, there was a...

188
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,018
there was a girl-- a lost girl.

189
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,106
But it wasn't the girl's fault.

190
00:09:03,150 --> 00:09:05,587
Her-her mother never gave
her the road map she needed

191
00:09:05,631 --> 00:09:07,197
to succeed in life.Mm.

192
00:09:07,241 --> 00:09:09,897
Actually, no one ever gave
her mother the road map, either.

193
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,332
It's a vicious cycle.

194
00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,073
Yeah, I'm familiar with it.

195
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:18,774
Anyway, uh, this girl spent
some of her formative years

196
00:09:18,818 --> 00:09:20,777
in this very establishment.

197
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:23,605
Yeah, see, formative years.
Now, that's what I hire.

198
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:28,697
Uh-huh. But how many of those
end up at Georgetown Law school?

199
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:32,788
They don't tend to keep in touch
after they leave.

200
00:09:32,832 --> 00:09:35,618
Well, my daughter
made that journey,

201
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:38,142
and yet she's still up
on your billboard

202
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:39,578
on Route 29.

203
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,451
You're Christy's mom?

204
00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:44,365
You remember her?

205
00:09:44,408 --> 00:09:45,802
Well, yeah! [chuckles]

206
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,890
Well, I used to be
the DJ back then.

207
00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,806
Hey, I'm the one who told her

208
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,634
she should work
to "Tiny Dancer."

209
00:09:51,677 --> 00:09:52,678
Right? You get it?

210
00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:55,072
'Cause she-she's very small.

211
00:09:57,118 --> 00:10:00,250
Well, you-you both
made something of yourselves.

212
00:10:00,294 --> 00:10:03,690
Yeah, I never dreamed
I'd have my own office.

213
00:10:03,732 --> 00:10:05,865
So Christy's still alive, huh?

214
00:10:05,908 --> 00:10:07,998
Wow. That's great.

215
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:12,001
You know, I knew
her heart wasn't in the pole.

216
00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:14,657
It's not for everyone.

217
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:15,788
Well, I'm glad you understand

218
00:10:15,831 --> 00:10:17,791
because it leads me
to why I'm here.

219
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:20,009
I feel that billboard
might have a negative impact

220
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,663
on her legal career.

221
00:10:21,707 --> 00:10:23,884
I mean, she may be
on the Supreme Court one day,

222
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,668
but not
with that thing up there.

223
00:10:25,711 --> 00:10:28,235
Mm, I'm sorry.
That billboard's money.

224
00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:30,193
But it's more than 20 years old.

225
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:32,283
You know,
people like the vintage.

226
00:10:32,326 --> 00:10:34,807
Reminds them of a simpler time.

227
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:35,982
1998?

228
00:10:36,025 --> 00:10:37,375
[chuckles]:
Wow.

229
00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:39,072
This crazy blue marble, huh?

230
00:10:39,115 --> 00:10:40,726
Just keeps spinning, don't it?

231
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:44,687
Look, my daughter worked so
hard to get where she is.

232
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:47,211
She shouldn't have to drag her
past behind her for eternity.

233
00:10:47,254 --> 00:10:49,212
That's... that's not right.

234
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:53,913
Neither is smoking indoors,
but here we are.

235
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:57,004
That billboard
needs to come down,

236
00:10:57,047 --> 00:11:00,833
and I am not leaving
until you change your mind.

237
00:11:00,876 --> 00:11:02,749
[sighs]

238
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,969
Tony, Bruno,
I'd like you to consider

239
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:07,667
what your mothers
think of you right now!

240
00:11:12,975 --> 00:11:14,325
The manager wasn't
a terrible guy.

241
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:16,197
He did give me two
coupons to the buffet.

242
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,503
Ooh, I love a good
strip club buffet.

243
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,245
Yeah. I only got a quick look
as I was rudely shown the door,

244
00:11:21,288 --> 00:11:22,463
but there were silver
dollar pancakes

245
00:11:22,506 --> 00:11:25,032
and what looked to be
an ambrosia salad.

246
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,774
Maybe when we're done
vandalizing, we can drop by.

247
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:30,514
No? Okay.

248
00:11:30,558 --> 00:11:34,040
Now, this little baby
takes no prisoners.

249
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:37,783
Two strokes, and it's bye-bye,
Christy's questionable choices.

250
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:40,743
What's going on?

251
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,091
Could ask you
the same thing.

252
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,354
What are you doing with
that poor creature?

253
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,225
Oh, the vet says
he's pre-diabetic,

254
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:47,532
so twice a day,
we got to walk the hill.

255
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:50,317
So, it looks like
you two have a project.

256
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,537
The strip club wouldn't take
down Christy's billboard,

257
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,538
so I'm taking matters
into my own hands.

258
00:11:54,582 --> 00:11:57,238
Aha. So you're planning
to deface it?

259
00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,589
De-face. De-body.
De-whole thing.

260
00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:04,071
Hold on. Let's make sure
we look before we leap.

261
00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:05,462
Great. Now we're
gonna get wisdom

262
00:12:05,506 --> 00:12:07,856
from a woman who's
walking her cat.

263
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,903
I think what we need here
is a meeting,

264
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:12,948
because your alcoholic brain is
running a little wild right now,

265
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:15,691
and Tammy's getting caught up
in the riptide.

266
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,736
I am impressionable.

267
00:12:20,347 --> 00:12:22,088
Maybe I could do a
ladies only night.

268
00:12:22,131 --> 00:12:23,567
That way, they won't even
have to deal with men.

269
00:12:23,611 --> 00:12:25,570
You know, make the bar
kind of a safe haven.

270
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,268
You mean like a lesbian bar?

271
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:30,183
News flash:
not necessarily a safe haven.

272
00:12:31,227 --> 00:12:34,404
All right, let's try
a Sparkly Pony.

273
00:12:34,448 --> 00:12:37,799
Ooh, it has pineapple in it.
I'm mildly allergic.

274
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,715
Finally, a little danger!

275
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,150
[chuckles]

276
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,587
[clears throat] Jill's here.

277
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,596
This is gonna be harder
than I thought.

278
00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:56,123
Hello.Hello.

279
00:12:56,165 --> 00:12:57,471
Uh, thanks for coming.

280
00:12:57,514 --> 00:13:00,518
Mm, no problem. I was
in the neighborhood, and...

281
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:03,259
[clears throat]
already dressed like this.

282
00:13:03,303 --> 00:13:04,392
What can I get for you, Jill?

283
00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:06,480
I'm about to ride
a Sparkly Pony.

284
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,613
Oh, I'll have
one of those, extra sparkle.

285
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:10,832
Jill, if you had
to judge my bar as a whole,

286
00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:12,399
would you say
that it respects women?

287
00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:13,618
What?

288
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,272
Never mind. [stammers]

289
00:13:17,621 --> 00:13:19,450
So, you're the one
that called me,

290
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:22,278
'cause I certainly had no
intentions of ever calling you.

291
00:13:22,322 --> 00:13:23,541
I even deleted your contact,

292
00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,282
so when you called,
it was just a number.

293
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:27,807
I didn't know who it was,
so I picked up, and it was you.

294
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,764
Right. Yes.

295
00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:31,071
Uh, can I get you a drink?

296
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:32,506
We just did that.

297
00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:35,205
Great. Phase one complete,
only minor injuries.

298
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,250
[laughs]

299
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:41,864
I asked you here because
I wanted to own up

300
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,562
to my recent aloofness.

301
00:13:44,605 --> 00:13:46,086
Oh, I didn't even notice.

302
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:47,522
I mean, you're not even
in my phone,

303
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:49,480
but I'm still in yours,
so who's aloof now?

304
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:53,222
Anyway, even if you
didn't notice...I didn't.

305
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,965
Well, I did, and
I didn't treat you

306
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:59,011
with the respect
that you deserve.

307
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:01,971
And I'm sorry.

308
00:14:02,014 --> 00:14:04,451
Mm. Thank you.

309
00:14:07,019 --> 00:14:08,369
Look, we're two adults

310
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,240
who had consensual sex
in a vacant apartment.

311
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,589
[chuckles]

312
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,764
God, that was hard
to say out loud.

313
00:14:13,808 --> 00:14:15,505
[clears throat]

314
00:14:15,549 --> 00:14:18,509
Just so you know,
that's not the kind of behavior

315
00:14:18,552 --> 00:14:20,597
I usually indulge in.

316
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:24,471
Well, it's exactly the kind of
behavior I usually indulge in.

317
00:14:24,514 --> 00:14:26,561
And then I leave town.

318
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:30,607
Only, uh, nowhere to go
and no money to get there.

319
00:14:32,044 --> 00:14:34,003
I didn't think
this one through.

320
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,004
Yeah, I didn't, either.

321
00:14:36,048 --> 00:14:39,486
Can-can we just reset

322
00:14:39,529 --> 00:14:41,532
and try being clothes-on,

323
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:44,013
wave-to-each-other-
across-the-room friends?

324
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,927
I can do that.

325
00:14:45,971 --> 00:14:49,192
So, uh, tell me
about yourself.

326
00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:50,585
What's your last name?

327
00:14:54,153 --> 00:14:55,850
Hi. Bonnie, alcoholic.

328
00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:57,200
ALL:
Hi, Bonnie.

329
00:14:57,244 --> 00:15:01,291
This is my first time
at the 5:45 meeting.

330
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:04,424
Not to quibble,
but what's the deal?

331
00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:07,210
Can't commit to 5:30?
Can't commit to 6:00?

332
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,691
I mean, when do you have dinner?
When do you finish work?

333
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:12,302
Came in handy for us today,
though, so thumbs up.

334
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,304
I've been known to do
a lot of crazy things

335
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,958
'cause, you know, alcoholic.

336
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,918
And where this brain goes,
the body follows.

337
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,136
Sometimes the body goes
and the brain just stays behind.

338
00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:22,572
[chuckles]

339
00:15:22,616 --> 00:15:24,836
Right now, I'm dealing
with a thing where, um,

340
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:26,969
I'm worried
my kid is gonna be embarrassed

341
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:31,278
or hurt or exploited or exposed

342
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,715
to the kind of people
who use secondary highways.

343
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:37,631
She means that literally.
It's not a metaphor.

344
00:15:37,674 --> 00:15:41,984
I keep questioning
if my reaction is alcoholic.

345
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,985
Actually, other people

346
00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:46,162
keep questioning it,

347
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,554
but, yeah, screw that.

348
00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:50,340
Sometimes it's not about
being an alcoholic.

349
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,647
Sometimes it's just about
being a mom.

350
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:55,128
A mom who wants
to protect her kid.

351
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:58,696
You know what? The more
I talk about it, the more I...

352
00:15:58,740 --> 00:15:59,959
I can't be here.

353
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,005
Should we follow her?

354
00:16:04,049 --> 00:16:06,008
No worries.
She's not going anywhere.

355
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,009
I got my keys right...

356
00:16:08,053 --> 00:16:09,229
Son of a bitch!

357
00:16:13,841 --> 00:16:15,235
[both panting]

358
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,626
How far away is your place?

359
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,280
Ten minutes, but my
housekeeper's there.

360
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:21,501
How about you?Seven minutes,
but my mum's there.

361
00:16:21,544 --> 00:16:22,937
Hit recline.Yeah.

362
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,461
[seats whirring]

363
00:16:24,504 --> 00:16:26,028
[exhales]

364
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,899
This is going very slowly,
but it's only making it hotter.

365
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,121
[phone chiming]

366
00:16:33,165 --> 00:16:35,690
Oh. Seriously?

367
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,345
Oh, hey, Marjorie.

368
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,650
Oh. Okay.

369
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:41,870
I'll be right there.

370
00:16:42,913 --> 00:16:44,654
You have to go.

371
00:16:44,698 --> 00:16:47,831
Just gonna need a moment
before I can zip up again.

372
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,317
This is fun.

373
00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,104
You guys have never
been in my car.

374
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:01,542
I bought it off a volunteer
fireman, so it has a siren.

375
00:17:02,629 --> 00:17:05,111
Well, we appreciate the ride.

376
00:17:05,153 --> 00:17:07,678
Even though
I can't feel my feet.

377
00:17:07,721 --> 00:17:09,854
I offered you shotgun.

378
00:17:09,897 --> 00:17:12,074
But I couldn't
because you're super old,

379
00:17:12,117 --> 00:17:14,032
and I'm inherently kind.

380
00:17:15,511 --> 00:17:17,252
[siren blaring]

381
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:19,342
I just had
to show you.

382
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,781
Come on, Bonnie!
You're gonna get hurt!

383
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:27,785
I don't care!
This is my daughter!

384
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:32,224
Damn it, Wendy. Was that you
behind me with the siren?

385
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:35,836
Bonnie, get down from there!

386
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,882
I'm pretty sure
you're trespassing.

387
00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,449
What?

388
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,711
She said you're
trespassing!

389
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:42,931
Come on. Use your
outside voice.

390
00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:47,413
You're gonna end up in jail!

391
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,720
Are you really telling me

392
00:17:49,763 --> 00:17:52,896
that if your son was up there
in a thong and high heels,

393
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:55,638
you wouldn't do everything
in your power to fix it?

394
00:17:55,682 --> 00:17:57,118
She has a point.

395
00:17:57,163 --> 00:18:00,426
You are the mama of all bears
when it comes to your son.

396
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:01,992
Well, as your sponsor,

397
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:04,821
I think there's another way
to handle this.

398
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:09,305
As a mother, I'm coming up!

399
00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:17,748
This is actually fun.

400
00:18:17,791 --> 00:18:20,142
Hey, maybe I should paint
one of my houses.

401
00:18:20,185 --> 00:18:21,751
Is that a hickey on your neck?

402
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,277
What? Shh!

403
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,497
Ladies, thank you
for dropping whatever

404
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,979
or whoever you were doing
to come here and help me.

405
00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:34,287
Tammy, did you
give her a tail?

406
00:18:34,329 --> 00:18:36,332
I'm gonna paint over it.

407
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:40,509
Remember, don't look down.

408
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,163
Why? What's
wrong with it?

409
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,078
[screaming]

410
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,865
[ringtone playing]

411
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:51,652
Sorry, Christy.
Cannot FaceTime with you now.

412
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,791
[grunts] All right, Boz.

413
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:05,099
We have been through this.
You got to exercise.

414
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,886
You heard what the doctor said.

415
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,759
He was very clear.

416
00:19:11,801 --> 00:19:13,760
Okay.

417
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:16,807
Do you want to be
on the low-calorie dry food

418
00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:19,027
when everyone else
gets the good stuff?

419
00:19:21,115 --> 00:19:22,943
I'm not giving in.

420
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:25,903
I googled the side effects
of feline diabetes,

421
00:19:25,946 --> 00:19:27,557
and they're very upsetting.

422
00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:31,299
Yeah, just a heads-up.

423
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:41,396
Looks like we're gonna be late
to the meeting again.

424
00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:43,050
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425
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:44,400
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426
00:19:44,443 --> 00:19:45,923
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427
00:19:50,971 --> 00:19:54,976
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