1 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:23,456 Huh. 2 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,528 Hmm. 3 00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:30,697 Hmm. 4 00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:32,532 SPORTSCASTER: Buckle up. 5 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,167 We're going to overtime. 6 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,468 (whoops) 7 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,103 What the hell is this? 8 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,038 Warriors and Knicks overtime. 9 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,640 Ashley-- five stars. 10 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,342 Natalya-- four stars. 11 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:43,777 Cornelia-- one star. 12 00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:45,812 What, because her name was Cornelia? 13 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,247 That's not her fault, 14 00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:48,715 you should give her parents one star. 15 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,551 It's my amends list for Al-Anon. 16 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,053 And you hid it behind my panty drawer? 17 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,188 Freak. 18 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,091 I wasn't hiding anything, I lost it. 19 00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,359 I wrote that a year ago. 20 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,662 You know, I don't just vent about you at Al-Anon. 21 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,663 I do the steps. 22 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,165 SPORTSCASTER: Let's get ready for the tip-off. 23 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,099 Except that one. 24 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:09,536 Yeah, you're gonna catch the highlights, pal. 25 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:12,572 So, you owe an amends to all these women? 26 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,741 And some of their husbands. 27 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,243 And what do the stars mean? 28 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:18,411 How hot they were? 29 00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:21,080 It's how bad my behavior was. 30 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,383 Candy was four stars? 31 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:24,551 Yeah. 32 00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:26,519 (laughs): Actually, in both departments. 33 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,255 (clears throat) 34 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,393 So, you wrote down this list 35 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:34,694 of, like, a thousand names, 36 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,229 and you haven't gotten in touch with any of them? 37 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,197 Correct. 38 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,499 And, by the way, where is my name? 39 00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,271 Oh, wait, here I am. 40 00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,308 Different Bonnie. 41 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,145 ♪ ♪ 42 00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,866 Interesting. My amends list was 43 00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:14,400 a bunch of laws I broke. 44 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,603 Yours is a bunch of hearts you broke. 45 00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:19,906 My Al-Anon sponsor had me look at my patterns with women, 46 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,909 and I did a lot of damage there. 47 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,512 I was either drawn to drama or creating it. 48 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,313 Like you create it with me? 49 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:29,349 Sure. 50 00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:31,784 So I... 51 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:34,387 made this list and then I lost it. 52 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,556 If that's not a sign from my higher power... 53 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,358 Yeah, nice try. 54 00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:40,426 At least I had drugs and drinking to blame. 55 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,662 Yeah, you had alcohol. 56 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,564 I had a penis. 57 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:48,268 Both weapons of mass destruction when used irresponsibly. 58 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,203 Well, there's your list. 59 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,538 There's your phone, get cracking. 60 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:53,806 (chuckles) 61 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:56,543 I know I should. 62 00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,945 I just don't know what to say. 63 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,549 And that's where, once again, you are fortunate to have me. 64 00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:06,519 No one has made more amends to more people than I have. 65 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,221 It's the reason I learned Spanish. 66 00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:13,293 I've done them in person, on the phone, in song. 67 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,628 I'm not gonna sing to anyone. 68 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,830 The DMV lady loved it. 69 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:20,733 ♪ I'm sorry I drove us off a bridge ♪ 70 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,435 ♪ During my three-point turn ♪ 71 00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:25,972 ♪ But I was tripping balls on acid. ♪ 72 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:31,411 Don't be shy with the jazz hands. 73 00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:32,579 I-I don't know. 74 00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:34,480 I've got six pages of past here. 75 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,583 Well, let's start at the beginning. 76 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:39,919 What's the story with five-star Ashley? 77 00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:43,356 Uh, she was a girl I started dating right out of college-- 78 00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:45,625 redhead, psych major, loved to ski. 79 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:46,726 Get to the stars. 80 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:49,529 I slept with somebody she knew. 81 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:50,797 Go on. 82 00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:52,599 And when I moved to L.A., 83 00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:55,568 I accidentally on purpose didn't give her my new number. 84 00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:56,769 That's it? 85 00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:58,371 And I kept her Supertramp album. 86 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,440 (scoffs) Supertramp? You did her a favor. 87 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:04,477 Let me tell you, honey, making amends is a lot like sex. 88 00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:05,778 The first time, it's awkward 89 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:07,246 'cause you don't know what you're doing. 90 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,881 And then you get better at it and it's fun, 91 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,383 and eventually you get so good, 92 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,251 you set up a camera and film yourself. 93 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,420 Hypothetically. 94 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,359 Should we have waited for Bonnie? 95 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,027 She never waits for us. 96 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,528 But you know she's gonna get more mad at me 97 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,630 than the rest of you guys. 98 00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:25,498 Don't worry, if she comes after you, I got your back. 99 00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:26,499 Thanks. 100 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,434 Incoming. 101 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,434 Seriously, Wendy? 102 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,769 You couldn't wait? 103 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,571 We tried to tell her. 104 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,373 What was that? 105 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,775 How you survive seven years in prison. 106 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:36,909 Give me the cake. 107 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:38,845 I need it after the morning I just had. 108 00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:41,781 You know, you don't have to come every day. 109 00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:44,651 At my urging, 110 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:47,487 Adam decided to embark on his amends journey. 111 00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:50,056 Let's just say the first one did not go so well. 112 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,658 She's dead? 113 00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:53,860 Jazz hands. 114 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,063 (women sympathizing) 115 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,063 Oh, so sad. 116 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,065 Kicked the bucket six months ago. 117 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,601 Dead. That's a tough one out of the gate. 118 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,403 Yeah. He still gets credit for trying. 119 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,404 Mm. 120 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,073 I remember my first time tackling my amends list. 121 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,409 Did you have Agnes at the switchboard connect you 122 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,644 to Klondike-five, zero-one-nine-eight? 123 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:14,847 No. 124 00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:16,516 It was in a phone booth, 125 00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:20,586 and I had to do awful things to get the change for the call. 126 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,488 Mm. I had a whole section of my list 127 00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:24,357 that was just "things I set on fire." 128 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,527 Adam's taking this woman's death very hard. 129 00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:29,729 I caught him crying while he was brushing his teeth. 130 00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:32,699 It's so gross when men feel. 131 00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:35,568 Yeah. It's like women being umpires-- who needs that? 132 00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:36,836 Oh, God. 133 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,805 I'm sorry, were you an umpire? 134 00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:42,008 I bet you looked real cute in those gray slacks. 135 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:45,678 No, this makes me realize it's time I get to my big amends. 136 00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:47,580 You mean like not having my back with Bonnie? 137 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,916 Why don't we let that one go, sweetheart? 138 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,119 So, who is it? A fella you done wrong? 139 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,654 (gasps) Oh, I know. 140 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:56,522 Did you set someone on fire in their jail cell? 141 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,624 What is it with you and fire? 142 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:02,662 Oh, honestly, it's just so beautiful while it destroys. 143 00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:06,032 Someone talk. 144 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,735 It's the steakhouse I robbed. 145 00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,002 I've driven by it so many times. 146 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,038 I've just never had the courage to go in. 147 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,440 Yeah, me, too, but for very different reasons. 148 00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:17,710 The only steak that costs $4.99 is called horse. 149 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,546 You know what? 150 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:21,881 I'm starting to think it was the husband. 151 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:24,016 He's too nice, and they wouldn't use 152 00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,552 an actor like that unless he murdered. 153 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,888 And that guy had a show, remember? 154 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,090 Remember, he lived on a boat and gave free legal advice 155 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,525 to other people that lived on boats? 156 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,594 What was it called? Boat's La? 157 00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:37,830 I-I don't really care. 158 00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:37,830 Yeah, well, neither did America. 159 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,766 That's why it's not on anymore. 160 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:41,934 Aren't you gonna open that beer? 161 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,770 No, you can have it. 162 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,040 Unless you want me to end up on a pool floatie 163 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:50,610 in the Bellagio fountain, no, I cannot. 164 00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,446 (chuckles): Sorry. 165 00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,716 (chatter on TV) 166 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,154 (scoffs) 167 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,790 What's going on? 168 00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:05,992 You have barely said a word all day, 169 00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:08,528 and now you're not paying attention to NCIS: New Orleans. 170 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:09,729 And this is a good one. 171 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,532 The crawdads ate the guy's fingerprints off. 172 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,901 I'm f-- I'm fine. 173 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:16,969 Oh, my God. 174 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,505 Are you still upset about Ashley? 175 00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:20,807 Hello, that was Tuesday. 176 00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:22,809 The official mourning period for a girl you dated 177 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:25,077 during the Reagan administration is over. 178 00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:28,781 You women all want us to be vulnerable until we are. 179 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:33,686 You're sad because you kissed a girl who's dead. 180 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,655 I mean, if it's any comfort, 181 00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:37,690 I had sex with someone while he was dying. 182 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:39,625 Actually, wait. 183 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,160 That happened twice. 184 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:44,096 I think I'd like to be alone. 185 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:47,500 Seriously? You're pushing me away? 186 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,068 I just need some space. 187 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,804 Are you still in love with Ashley? 188 00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,840 Do you have a secret family? 189 00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:56,242 Oh, God, I got to get out of here. 190 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,777 To go and see them? 191 00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,245 What is it, little Adam's birthday? 192 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,613 You're crazy. 193 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,215 Why is this affecting you so much? 194 00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:03,816 It just is, okay? 195 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,852 Where are you going? I'm trying to help. 196 00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:07,653 Try less. 197 00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:07,653 (groans) 198 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,524 Legal Seagull! That was the name of the show. 199 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,862 Hi, hello, are you the manager? 200 00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,064 Who's asking? 201 00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,132 Well, my name is Tammy Diffendorf, 202 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:21,868 and when this was an Outback, I... 203 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,736 Hey, we chose to change the name. 204 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,771 They didn't leave us. 205 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,074 Okay. Well, nine years ago, 206 00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:30,776 I robbed this restaurant and I went to prison. 207 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,046 And since that time, I've gotten sober and changed my life. 208 00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:37,116 And I just really want to make amends for my crime. 209 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,284 Oh, I remember. 210 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,853 You wore a catsuit and hit us on cops-eat-free night. 211 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,955 That security footage was a staple 212 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,223 at the Christmas party for years. 213 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:47,760 Also a staple at my trial. 214 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,595 You know what the real crime is? 215 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,698 Nine years later, I still work here. 216 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,870 Anyway, um... (clears throat) 217 00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,305 I can't take back what I did, 218 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,874 but I want you to know from the bottom of my heart... 219 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,677 (phone rings) 220 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,677 Excuse me. (clears throat) 221 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:08,114 Hey, Bon, I'm kind of in the middle of something here. 222 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,715 Have you seen Adam? 223 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:11,784 He took off in the RV, and he's not answering his phone. 224 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:12,752 Oh, my God. 225 00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,020 Is this blood? 226 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,189 I'm sorry, Bonnie. 227 00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:19,659 I haven't heard from him, but I'm sure he'll be back. 228 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,961 Are you? He basically drove off in a house. 229 00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:24,797 There's nothing to stop him from starting a new life. 230 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,900 (gasps) And he just learned how to remove his fingerprints. 231 00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:38,945 DARRYL: Follow my logic here. 232 00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:42,615 A hamburger is meat between two pieces of bread. 233 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:43,816 How is that not a sandwich? 234 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:46,786 Because it's a hamburger. It's its own damn thing, D'rryl. 235 00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:48,321 Please stop using my name like that. 236 00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:51,023 I will when you finally make a point, D'rryl. 237 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,858 All right, smart guy, 238 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,261 what about a patty melt? 239 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,261 Not a sandwich. 240 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,762 (groans) Stop embarrassing yourself. 241 00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:59,665 It's a melt, it's right there in the name. 242 00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,267 I can't even look at you. 243 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,903 Will you two please shut the hell up? 244 00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,605 Excuse me? 245 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:09,342 I've been listening to you jackasses for 20 minutes. 246 00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:10,943 Is a hot dog a sandwich? 247 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,311 Is a taco a sandwich? 248 00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,714 Is a jelly doughnut a sandwich? 249 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,216 Who cares? We're all gonna die! 250 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,819 What's your problem, Wheels? 251 00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:22,154 Don't you call me that. 252 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:25,291 Oh, okay. Chair? 253 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,929 (levers click) 254 00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:37,169 Sorry about that. 255 00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:38,971 My friend's husband seems to be missing. 256 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,373 Oh. You might want to take a look around 257 00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:41,741 and see if he's here. 258 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,176 We get a lot of angry men eating alone. 259 00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,112 I'm sure the Bloomin' Onion cheers 'em up. 260 00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,114 Hey, we don't offer that product or anything 261 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,749 that infringes on its trademark. 262 00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:53,719 All right, let's wrap up the apology. 263 00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,988 I've got a sneeze guard to wipe down. 264 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,224 It's actually an amends. 265 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,224 What's the difference? 266 00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:00,092 Well, an apology is just saying "I'm sorry." 267 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,293 An amends is an attempt 268 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,396 to actually change the way you live your life. 269 00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:05,664 That's part of an apology. 270 00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:05,664 No, it's not. 271 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,133 It is where I come from. 272 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,133 No, no. 273 00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:08,768 An apology is just saying you're sorry. 274 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,703 You're not actually doing anything. 275 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,304 Totally disagree. A sincere desire 276 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:13,839 to change must be included in any apology, 277 00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:15,107 or it doesn't count. 278 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,442 No, see, the word "amends" comes 279 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,111 from the root word "mend," meaning "to repair." 280 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:22,114 So an amends is a... an attempt to fix things. 281 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,382 Are you gonna stand there and tell me 282 00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:25,951 an apology doesn't fix things? 283 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,121 This got kind of intense. 284 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,257 Which is strange 'cause I really don't care. 285 00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:33,859 Look, I'm just trying to work my program 286 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,895 so I can be more spiritually evolved! 287 00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:37,763 If you really want to make a difference in the world, 288 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,098 how about you and I go out to the parking lot, 289 00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:41,200 you hop in your car and run me over? 290 00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:46,906 Hey, Nancy. 291 00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,274 Marge! 292 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,142 Did another one of your lambs lose their way? 293 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,411 (laughs) Not officially one of mine, 294 00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,813 but he's married to one of mine. 295 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,181 Adam Janikowski. 296 00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:59,018 Do you guys still accept the Discover Card? 297 00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:02,388 Yeah. You should be getting the friends and family discount. 298 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:06,225 Janikowski's ride's here. 299 00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:09,195 Let me guess. You nailed him on a 647? 300 00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:11,864 Boy, you're good. Huh. 301 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:14,100 Could've had him on a 415, too. 302 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,768 A fight? 303 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,768 Mm. 304 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,803 Who would fight a man in a wheelchair? 305 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,739 Someone who got punched in the face by a man in a wheelchair. 306 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,913 Thanks for coming. 307 00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,417 Sorry I called you instead of Bonnie. 308 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,519 I just can't deal with her right now. 309 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,454 Sometimes she makes me so mad. 310 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:38,457 And you end up punching somebody who doesn't deserve it. 311 00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:41,160 Been there, just never got caught. 312 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,466 Warning: I am not having a good day. 313 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:50,035 Terrific, and sitting next to me. 314 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,939 You can't whisper when the person's right next to you. 315 00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:55,207 It doesn't work. 316 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,909 She does it all the time. 317 00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,344 What are you doing? 318 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:02,815 You're like a kid at the zoo poking a stick through the bars. 319 00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,818 First, Adam took off in his stupid house-on-wheels, 320 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:07,853 and now he won't answer my calls or my texts. 321 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,855 Marjorie isn't answering my texts. 322 00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:11,991 This one took my call but was very distracted. 323 00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:15,194 Hey, I was mid-amends with the manager of the place I robbed. 324 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:16,328 He's an interesting guy. 325 00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:19,265 Did you know the first steak ever was served in Italy? 326 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,201 I'm guessing the first steak ever was served 327 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,936 when a cow got hit by lightning. 328 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,404 In Italy. 329 00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,874 I just... I don't understand why he's so upset. 330 00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,209 And why is he shutting me out? 331 00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:31,911 I'm in his corner no matter what. 332 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,380 Did you let him know that whatever he's feeling is okay, 333 00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:35,814 and you can handle it? 334 00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,249 While being patient and understanding 335 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,251 with both looks and your tone? 336 00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:43,289 I don't know. Maybe. 337 00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:45,090 I-I might have been a little insensitive. 338 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,993 I can't be sure unless Marjorie is here making a face at me. 339 00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:53,065 The odds of you being insensitive are pretty good. 340 00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:56,168 That's very insensitive of you to point that out. 341 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:58,437 Wait. Was that insensitive or just annoying? 342 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,506 Where the hell is Marjorie?! 343 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,412 This is nice. 344 00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:09,949 You got your own fortress of solitude. 345 00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:09,949 Yeah. 346 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,618 I felt like I needed to be alone with my thoughts. 347 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,222 Then I thought, 348 00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:18,357 "Now I'm alone with my thoughts." 349 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,360 And then my thoughts said to me, 350 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,362 "Why are you leaving us alone with you?" 351 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,997 And next thing you know, 352 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,066 I'm bailing you out instead of your wife. 353 00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:28,867 Yeah. 354 00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,869 So what's going on? 355 00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,471 Beats the hell out of me. 356 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,139 I started making my amends. 357 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,008 Number one on the list is dead. 358 00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:37,876 It knocked me sideways. 359 00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:40,512 And then I got in my first bar fight of our new century. 360 00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:42,982 Mm. That still doesn't help me understand 361 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,017 why you didn't call Bonnie. 362 00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:48,320 Because Bonnie couldn't understand why I was upset. 363 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,556 Uh, and neither can you. (chuckles softly) 364 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,926 You know, Bonnie's always talking 365 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:56,095 about how helpful you are. 366 00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:58,364 Whe-When does that part kick in? 367 00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:02,568 When you get honest about what's really going on. 368 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,637 Oh, that was good. 369 00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:09,408 Well, one thing-- might be it, might not-- 370 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,477 I didn't tell her the whole truth 371 00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:13,112 about what happened with Ashley. 372 00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:18,150 You're gonna play it that way, huh? 373 00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:20,185 Okay. 374 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,920 We broke up because I slept with somebody, 375 00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:23,656 and that somebody was her mother. 376 00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:26,292 I'd appreciate if you wouldn't look at me right now. 377 00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,694 I'll stare into my coffee. Go on. 378 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,563 I didn't sleep with her once. I slept with her seven times. 379 00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:34,466 You might want to grip your seat for this moment. 380 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:37,069 There was one day where I slept with them both. 381 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,339 How much of this does Bonnie know? 382 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,941 Not much. There was some heavy editing of the truth. 383 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,110 (sighs) Oh. 384 00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:48,047 I did this horrible thing that I've lived with for years, 385 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:51,550 and now there's no way for me to ever make amends to Ashley. 386 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:56,055 Not direct amends, but you can make a living amends. 387 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,157 We don't do this to stay in the guilt and shame. 388 00:15:58,223 --> 00:16:00,192 We do this to move forward. 389 00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,995 So, how do I do that? 390 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,197 You can start by living differently 391 00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:08,233 so that it never happens with anyone else. 392 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,003 Well, I already do that. 393 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:17,176 Maybe part of living differently is being honest with Bonnie. 394 00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:21,647 Even if it's hard, even if it hurts. 395 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,649 Oh, it's gonna hurt. 396 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,585 At this point, it'll hurt either way. 397 00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:31,056 Thanks... for being here. 398 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,992 If I can ever do anything to repay you, like, 399 00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:35,294 like... 400 00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:38,397 You can loan me this thing next time there's a music festival. 401 00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:41,500 I can't even go anymore 'cause I have to pee too much. 402 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,139 So, to review-- 403 00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:50,175 you cheated on Ashley with her mother, 404 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:53,078 you cheated on her mother with Ashley, 405 00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:56,014 you chose not to tell me those facts, 406 00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:57,716 you got arrested in a bar fight, 407 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,419 and then called Marjorie instead of your loving wife. 408 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:04,490 To be fair, those events took place over a 40-year period. 409 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,459 Still stings. 410 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:10,095 You're right. I'll add you to the list. 411 00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,297 No, no, you already have a Bonnie on your list. 412 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,533 This one's gonna need jewelry. 413 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,436 I should have shared with you first. 414 00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:19,037 Why didn't you? 415 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,340 'Cause I was ashamed of myself. 416 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,644 Ashley and her mother ended up not speaking, 417 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,446 and that was all on me. 418 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,615 Oh, honey. 419 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:31,350 You sit in those meetings, 420 00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:34,186 and you hear all the ways that people have hurt each other, 421 00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,821 and you start thinking about all the stuff 422 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,390 that you've done that you're not proud of. 423 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:43,061 I mean, I felt so awful about so many things. 424 00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,063 And I... 425 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:48,333 started to worry, "How... 426 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,104 How can Bonnie ever feel the same way about me again?" 427 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,741 I like the way you look at me. 428 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,509 I don't want that to change. 429 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,344 Oh... 430 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,414 After all the things you've learned about me over the years, 431 00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:04,516 how can I sit here and judge you? 432 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,085 I mean, I love that you have a past. 433 00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,521 Your past is what's made you you. 434 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:12,558 And-and it's something to talk about if the cable goes out. 435 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:18,363 And... I am sorry if I was a little hard on you 436 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,364 when you were being... 437 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,800 Emotional? 438 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,800 Yeah. 439 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:27,105 I'm happy to know you're someone who's capable of remorse. 440 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:28,774 I mean, given that half the world decided 441 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,409 shame is no longer a thing anymore, 442 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,110 it's kind of refreshing. 443 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,180 Thank you. 444 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,349 And you know what else? 445 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,519 I think I owe you an amends. 446 00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,255 Man, this amends thing is just a carousel 447 00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,790 you can't get off, isn't it? 448 00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,790 Mm-hmm. 449 00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,399 Are we seriously eating here? 450 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,269 You all smell that, don't you? 451 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,137 Oh, hi, Lou. Table for four. 452 00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:00,706 Are you messing with me? 453 00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:03,408 My friends and I eat out about 17 times a week, 454 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,377 so I figured we'd work you into the rotation. 455 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:08,180 How about you go ahead and dust off one of those tables for us? 456 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,148 Is this still part of the whole apology thing? 457 00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:13,585 Amends. 458 00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:13,585 Do not go there. He will not yield. 459 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,521 All right, ladies, follow me. 460 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:19,892 And I never said this, but skip the surf, stick to the turf. 461 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,261 Your fish isn't fresh? 462 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,162 It's not even fish. 463 00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:29,301 Where is she? Where is she? 464 00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,403 You look high, I'll look low. 465 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:34,573 Geez, you think they charge more for eye-level? 466 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,242 Probably. It's like a grocery store. 467 00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:38,844 I feel bad for the bottom row. 468 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,780 Stuck down there like the off-brand soda. 469 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:45,417 Their loved ones have to pop a squat just to say "I miss you." 470 00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:49,421 Think you could save the op-ed for the drive home? 471 00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:51,356 Yeah. Sorry. 472 00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:53,225 Hey. 473 00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:56,695 Here she is, right next to her mother. 474 00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,430 I bet they made up, huh? 475 00:19:58,497 --> 00:19:59,932 I hope so. 476 00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:03,735 I'll just put the flowers in the little vase 477 00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:05,504 and let you do your thing. 478 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:10,275 (quietly): By the way, he grew up to be a really good man. 479 00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,750 Hey, Ashley. 480 00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:19,818 It's Adam.