1
00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:04,569
Why don't you want to kiss me?
I'm kissable, damn it!

2
00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,572
Are you even
listening to me?

3
00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:10,401
Yes, I just find these tea bags

4
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:13,491
need to be coaxed
in order to steep properly.

5
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:15,276
Can we get back to the fact

6
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,321
that my husband never wants
to kiss me again?

7
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:18,670
Is there a chance

8
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,716
you're exaggerating
the situation?

9
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,587
None.

10
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:24,415
Shall I relive
the horror all over again

11
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,983
now that your orange pekoe's
squared away?

12
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,116
Yeah, sure, relive.

13
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,730
Ah, I can't wait to see
what you think of my sauce.

14
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,166
I went for sweet

15
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,038
with a little
bit of heat.

16
00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:39,691
And you're sure
the ribs are cooked enough?

17
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,085
I know they were only
on there for 12 hours.

18
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,782
It was six.

19
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,915
You might need
to squeeze harder.

20
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,308
Oh!

21
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,092
[laughing]:
Not that hard.

22
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,138
So this is my fault?Well...

23
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,835
the goal was to
squeeze some sauce

24
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,793
out of the opening,
not a child.

25
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,060
What does this have
to do with kissing,

26
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,757
you should be asking.

27
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,889
[slurping]

28
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,153
Mmm.

29
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,244
Oh, I see what happened.

30
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,681
A little chunk of onion
got stuck in the nozzle.

31
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,378
Well, what the hell's
an onion doing in there?

32
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:17,120
It's developing
the depth of flavor.

33
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,122
And ruining our breath.
It's date night.

34
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,993
So much for kissing.

35
00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:21,994
[grunts]

36
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:24,040
What's that supposed to mean?

37
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,087
Eh. Kissing. It's overrated.

38
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,958
Excuse me?

39
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,264
It's like salad.

40
00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:31,917
I mean, you're happy
to eat it but you really

41
00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:33,484
just want to get
to the main course.

42
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,530
Oh, so what are we doing
for foreplay now?

43
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,793
"Grab the sink, I'm coming in"?

44
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:42,406
I did not promise
to love, honor, cherish

45
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:43,886
and never kiss again.

46
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,888
That's nice.

47
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:49,413
I've also decided to go back
to being a hopeless drunk.

48
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,546
Good for you.

49
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,330
Maybe even take up heroin.

50
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,115
Sounds like a plan.

51
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,031
♪

52
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,268
Mm-hmm.

53
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:20,009
All right, what's up with you?

54
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,228
You're totally distracted.

55
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,186
You haven't taken a single note.

56
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,013
Yes, I have.

57
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,667
Hey, no...

58
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,843
You have two squiggles
and a blob.

59
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,279
The two squiggles are
you and Adam.

60
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:31,107
And the blob is...

61
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,674
your inner child.

62
00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:34,806
Okay.

63
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,200
I apologize, you have
my undivided attention.

64
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:38,767
Sure, when we're almost done
and I have to leave early

65
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,247
for Tammy's sober birthday.

66
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,205
Okay, off you go.
See you next week.

67
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,424
That's it?

68
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:45,034
No tools to help me
deal with the fact

69
00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:47,079
that Adam thinks
kissing is overrated?

70
00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,124
He does?

71
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,169
Aah!

72
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,474
You're not getting paid today.

73
00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:53,129
Hold everything.

74
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,131
What's that ceramic wizard
doing here?

75
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,308
Casting a positive spell
on your mental health.

76
00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:02,312
Sandra took that during
the divorce, and I remember

77
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:04,227
because I was relieved.

78
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:06,577
I didn't like the way
it used to stare at me

79
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,536
during our sessions.

80
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,148
You know, wizards can see
through clothes.

81
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,281
How about that?

82
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,239
All right,
tell Tammy congratulations

83
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,372
on her sobriety
and drive safely.

84
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:20,461
You know, if my kiss-less
marriage crumbles into the sea

85
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,245
between now and next
week, it's on you.

86
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,291
Okay.

87
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,252
Don't listen to her.

88
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,256
I just need to get
into my safe deposit box.

89
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,997
It's my friend's sober birthday.

90
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,520
So I'm gonna give her
my little diamond pin.

91
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,522
Oh, lucky friend.

92
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:40,263
Yeah, well,
her dad killed her mom

93
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,744
and she robbed a steakhouse
and spent seven years in prison,

94
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:45,181
so, you know,
good days, bad days.

95
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,445
Okay, I'll go get the key.

96
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,491
Be right back.

97
00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:54,582
Hey, you.

98
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,845
Hey! Hey, Jill.

99
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,021
Didn't expect
to run into you here.

100
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:01,153
Hmm, looks like you didn't
expect to run into anybody.

101
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:02,198
Oh!

102
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,113
Yeah, these mighty calves

103
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:06,115
are trapped in the prison
of long pants all week.

104
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,335
I like to turn 'em loose
on my day off.

105
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:09,379
I see.

106
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:10,772
And your feet?

107
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,905
Hey, it's everyone's day off.

108
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:16,081
[laughs] I'm just
teasing, you look good.

109
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:19,041
Now go get on that tram
and enjoy the Magic Kingdom.

110
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,086
[laughing]

111
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:23,785
You done?

112
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,308
For now.

113
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,136
So what are you doing here?

114
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,138
I was just picking out
a new check design.

115
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,575
Looks like the Raiders
are staying in Vegas.

116
00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:33,403
Looks like you're going
to Vegas.

117
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,492
[both laughing]I'm done now.

118
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,277
Do those shoes taste
like circus peanuts?

119
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,148
[laughs]
I'm sorry.

120
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,281
Done now.

121
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,242
Did you see the wizard?

122
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:50,246
You know, you have never
actually spoken to me before,

123
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,553
and I would not have predicted
those would be your first words.

124
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,424
But while you're
in a chatty mood,

125
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,208
why does the wizard
bother you, too?

126
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:01,562
Are you gonna put a curse on me

127
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,390
and you need to touch me
to do it?

128
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,349
The ex-wife.

129
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,220
[gasps] She's back?

130
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,311
[clucking tongue]

131
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:16,098
Hey, while I have you here,

132
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,187
what do you think about me
and Scooby-Doo checks?

133
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,058
Cool that I like
to solve mysteries

134
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:21,843
or creepy older guy with a van?

135
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:25,150
I think you just answered
your own question.

136
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,804
Okay, what-what about Snoopy,

137
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:28,328
but as the Red Baron,

138
00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:30,199
not just laying on a house.

139
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,549
Uh, we're ready
for you, Ms. Kendall.

140
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,595
Okay.

141
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,423
Well, it was fun
running into you.

142
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,207
Enjoy the rest
of your day off.

143
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,122
MAN:
Everyone, get on the floor!

144
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,471
MAN 2:
Get down and stay down!

145
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,907
Hit the dirt!

146
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,256
What?

147
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,737
Get down.
Oh!

148
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,217
Is this really
happening?

149
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,437
Yes, it's really happening,
just-just stay down.

150
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,873
Did you bring your gun?

151
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:54,571
No, I'm off duty.
Did you bring yours?

152
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:57,313
Yeah, Andy, I always
bring my gun to the bank.Okay...

153
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,010
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm-I'm nervous.

154
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:00,403
You know, I haven't
seen you in a while.

155
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:03,275
I'm wearing shorts
and now this.

156
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:07,758
MAN:
Hello and welcome to the
Tuesday speaker meeting...

157
00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,194
Where are they?

158
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,153
Honey, they'll be here.
They're not gonna miss

159
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:12,807
giving you a cake
for your sober birthday.

160
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,504
But the meeting's
starting-- Wendy,

161
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:16,245
stall 'em-- you know
what a heart attack

162
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:17,507
looks like.
Fake one.

163
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:20,118
If I did it realistically,
no one would notice.

164
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,859
They're silent killers.

165
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:24,340
You know, I didn't even
want to take a cake.

166
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,211
Oh, come on,
it's nice to acknowledge

167
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:28,388
how much time you've got
for the newcomers.

168
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,867
Three years is a big deal.

169
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,434
Nobody takes a
cake in prison.

170
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,610
They're considered
weak, like books

171
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,612
or conjugal visits.

172
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,179
Bonnie pushed
me into this.

173
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,876
Now I have to do
it without her?

174
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,704
Well, Marjorie
and I are still here.

175
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,445
What about a stroke?
Those are messy.

176
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,968
Not always.

177
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,840
You know, you brag all the
time about being a nurse,

178
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,103
but when the chips are
down, where are you?

179
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,149
[door opens]

180
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,716
Aha!

181
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:53,978
Lean Cuisine!

182
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,981
Oh, my God, we're not done?

183
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,287
A voice in my head said

184
00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,462
something wasn't right
about you.

185
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,464
The wizard's back,
you're counting calories,

186
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,380
and Marta explicitly said
Sandra was sniffing around.

187
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,557
You add those clues up, I think
Sandra's sniffing around.

188
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,038
That was one of the clues.

189
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,431
So you're saying I'm right.

190
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,215
No, I'm saying
it's none of your business.

191
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,869
Okay, switch seats,
we need to talk.

192
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,436
I'm not...
Sit!

193
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:24,400
Look, Bonnie,
I am your therapist.

194
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,010
I'm not gonna talk to you
about my personal life.

195
00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:28,317
I'm the therapist.
I'm in the therapist chair.

196
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,450
The chair really has
nothing to do with it.

197
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,364
Yes, it does--
it's about who's in the chair

198
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:33,714
and who's acting crazy,
and I'm in the chair

199
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,367
and you're acting crazy.

200
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,847
What am I doing
that's so crazy?

201
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:39,154
You're letting the woman who
ruined your life back into it.

202
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,895
We're just having
dinner tonight.

203
00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:43,375
And six months from now, you'll
be back in that corner crying,

204
00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,334
and I'll be the one
helping you blow your nose.

205
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,292
Now, you may want
to go through that again,

206
00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,686
but I do not.

207
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,125
What are they
doing over there?

208
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:56,084
They're clearing out
the cash drawers.

209
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:59,304
Hopefully one of the tellers
triggered the silent alarm.

210
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:01,350
Well, how much longer do
you think they'll take?

211
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:04,353
You want me to ask them
to move it along?

212
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:07,748
It's just, you see this in
the movies all the time,

213
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,706
but in real life it
goes a lot slower.

214
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,534
Yeah, well,
we're in Napa.

215
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:12,840
Everything's slower.

216
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,494
You know, if they decide
to go out the back exit,

217
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,017
they're gonna come
right through here.

218
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,453
I don't want you to end up
being a hostage.

219
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,934
Well, thanks for putting
that idea in my head.

220
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:21,501
Shh!

221
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,764
See? I won't make a good
hostage, I'm mouthy.

222
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,461
Jill.
I'm serious.

223
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,332
I'll complain about
the food too much.

224
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,291
No, I got this.

225
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,336
Oh, God, what are you doing?

226
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,861
I'm shielding you
with my body.

227
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,645
[long exhale]

228
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,082
That's very sweet, but...

229
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,562
you're squishing me.

230
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,390
Oh, sorry, sorry.

231
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,044
[heavy breathing]

232
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,089
[shushing]

233
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,621
MAN:
Hey! I said stay down!

234
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,100
Was he just
yelling at you?

235
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,320
He's right, I peeked.

236
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,930
I'm sorry, I've
just never been

237
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,063
in this situation before.
You're the professional.

238
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,587
It's okay, the important
thing is to just stay calm.

239
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,850
Okay, you know I
don't do that well.

240
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,591
Well, just, you know what?

241
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,811
Focus on your breathing, okay?
Look-look into my eyes.

242
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,421
[breathing in unison]

243
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,730
I'm sorry, I'm sweaty.

244
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:17,992
Did you work out?

245
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,951
No, we're being robbed
by men with guns.

246
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:22,953
Damn it, there goes
my breathing!

247
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,868
Okay, you got to do something
to help me keep my mind off

248
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,391
what's really going on.

249
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,480
O-Okay, okay, uh, let's see,
what's been going on with me?

250
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:31,179
Oh, I had my fantasy baseball
draft about a week ago.

251
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,355
I waited too long
on a catcher so I ended up

252
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:34,704
with the White Sox backup.

253
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,358
That's not gonna go well.

254
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,491
Also, um...

255
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:42,146
I've been thinking
about you a lot lately.

256
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,715
Really?

257
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:46,890
Yeah.

258
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,110
What exactly were you thinking?

259
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:53,157
That-that maybe
I made a mistake.

260
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:56,117
That maybe I was crazy
to let you go.

261
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,988
Well, I thought so.

262
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,995
Yeah, I definitely
made a mistake.

263
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,345
You're making another
one now by talking.

264
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,086
[laughs softly]

265
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,087
MAN:
Let's get moving!

266
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,263
Okay, they're gone.

267
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,004
We can get up now.

268
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:20,271
Why would you let
a woman who called you

269
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,709
a toxic narcissist
back into your life?

270
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:26,103
I don't think you get
her sense of humor.

271
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:29,193
She's called me many things,
but she's changed.

272
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:30,630
Has she, or did she find life

273
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,936
without a doormat husband
more challenging?

274
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:34,938
Wow, you really don't like her.

275
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,593
That's because I'm Team Doormat.

276
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,161
Okay, you know,
that's hurtful stuff, too.

277
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:43,381
Was it as hurtful as when she
cleaned you out in the divorce

278
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:46,123
and moved to Oregon
to start her soy milk empire?

279
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,038
How could she have known
there was a cold wind blowing

280
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:50,780
and its name was oat milk?

281
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,739
It's so good.

282
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,741
It really-- it-it's so foamy.

283
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,831
Soy, oat, it's--
it doesn't make a woman change.

284
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,267
But she has changed.
How?

285
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,485
So many ways.

286
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,446
I also realized I was doing
something wrong, too.

287
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:05,926
Stick to her.

288
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,885
Well, she's taken up cycling.

289
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:12,149
Oh, my God, and here I am
standing in the way of love.

290
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,368
Go to her, Trevor.

291
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:14,804
Buy matching spandex shorts

292
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,067
and cycle off into the sunset.

293
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,853
You know,
that sarcasm isn't exactly

294
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,506
right out
of the therapy handbook.

295
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,945
Oh, you want the handbook?
Why are you lying to yourself?

296
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,730
Bonnie, this is somebody
I once loved.

297
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,210
I'm giving her the benefit
of the doubt

298
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,038
that it's gonna be different
this time.

299
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,996
I think you're going back
to what's familiar

300
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,650
because you're scared
of being alone and you think

301
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,131
you're never gonna meet
anyone else ever again.

302
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,266
May I please eat
my Salisbury steak in peace?

303
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:49,273
♪ Happy birthday, dear Tammy

304
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:53,234
♪ Happy birthday to you

305
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,237
♪ Keep coming back.

306
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,891
[applause]

307
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,939
Oh, thanks. Uh, hi.
Tammy, alcoholic.

308
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,375
ALL:
Hi, Tammy.

309
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:05,725
Uh, you know, thanks to
everyone who actually did

310
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,117
show up for my birthday.

311
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,945
It's my first time
taking a cake.

312
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:12,557
It's not even real,
and I prefer pie, but thank you.

313
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,777
The only reason I'm doing it
today is because it's important

314
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,823
to someone who couldn't
even be bothered to be here.

315
00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:18,433
[laughs]
I mean, you feel me, Jim.

316
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:21,044
You're always saving a seat
for someone who doesn't show.

317
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:23,917
You know,
one of the things that AA

318
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,309
has taught me is,
you show up for people.

319
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,572
If you say you're gonna be
somewhere, you're there.

320
00:12:27,616 --> 00:12:29,052
[phone chimes]

321
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,185
Oh, look who's texting me.

322
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,664
We're supposed
to turn our phones off.

323
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,971
I just want to sit.

324
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:37,060
So, Bonnie said
she's gonna be late,

325
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,583
and we all know what that means.

326
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:41,064
[laughs]

327
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:42,979
Hang on, I'm texting her back.

328
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,288
Well, I'm not even getting the
three dots. That's real nice.

329
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:50,813
[chuckles] Anyway, you know,
I'm not here to complain.

330
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:53,816
I'm here to celebrate the fact
that I have three years

331
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,166
of sobriety, which is
pretty freakin' awesome.

332
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,386
[chuckles]
Oh, hang on, three dots.

333
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,257
Nope.

334
00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:03,130
Bottom line is, I'm
really grateful to be sober.

335
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:04,131
Thanks a lot.

336
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,219
[applause]

337
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:12,182
Uh-- I don't know anything about
the road that led you to Sandra.

338
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,140
Tell me about that.

339
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,230
Not much of a road.

340
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:17,840
More of a driveway, really.

341
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,408
Uphill, had a basketball hoop,
need to shovel the snow?

342
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,323
What-what does that mean?

343
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:25,413
It means Sandra was the first
relationship I ever had.

344
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:27,719
Ever?

345
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,678
Well, there was somebody
in high school,

346
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,593
but that was more
of a friendship with a girl

347
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,377
that I liked
who didn't notice me.

348
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:37,947
So you had one unrequited crush,
then a wife,

349
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:40,341
and yet you're guiding me
through life.

350
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,517
Yes, and I meant to tell you,
I'm raising my rate.

351
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,346
So, this crush,
you ever ask her out?

352
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:46,782
Oh, God, no.

353
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,002
But once,
I gave a report on Alaska

354
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:53,354
and I said that I'd like
to someday kayak the fjords,

355
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:57,967
and she said,
"Wow, pretty cool."

356
00:13:58,011 --> 00:14:00,317
What ever happened to her?I don't know.

357
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:01,928
Oh, come on, you got divorced.
You never looked her up?

358
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:03,755
She sells real estate
in Mendocino.

359
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,192
Has a pet turtle.

360
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:10,023
You've been lonely for a whole
year and you didn't call her?

361
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:11,851
You can't just pick up the phone
and call somebody

362
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,417
you haven't talked to
in that many years.

363
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,376
Yes, you can.
You pick up the phone,

364
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:17,247
you dial the sequence
of numbers, they say, "Hello,"

365
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,075
you say, "Hi, it's Trevor,
the guy you caught

366
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,685
staring at you
all through high school."

367
00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:21,861
And then she hangs up.

368
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,253
Or...

369
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,212
she's been waiting
for your call for 30 years.

370
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:27,344
You think?

371
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,825
No, probably not.

372
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,218
But there is a good chance

373
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,872
she won't call you
a toxic narcissist.

374
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,309
And I'm not leaving
till you do it.

375
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,876
And you know I'm stubborn,

376
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,529
'cause you gave me a book
about it, which I never read.

377
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,096
And you can't make me.

378
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:45,275
[exhales]
Thanks for giving me a ride.

379
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,016
My hands are still shaking.

380
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,452
Oh, yeah, that was
a pretty good kiss.

381
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,934
So...

382
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:55,155
was what you said in there
just adrenaline talking

383
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:56,591
or did you really mean it?

384
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:02,423
Because I don't want to go down
that road again

385
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:04,425
if-if it's not real.

386
00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:08,211
Look, I've b-- I've
been thinking a lot

387
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,474
about our relationship,
and, um...

388
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,782
...I was just scared.

389
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,479
Not "bank robbery with guns"
scared.

390
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:16,828
"Getting married
and having kids" scared,

391
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:20,093
which is way worse.

392
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,966
But you're not scared anymore?

393
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,099
Oh, are you kidding?
I'm terrified.

394
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:29,667
But I-I realized in
that bank that...

395
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,410
...I'd die for you.

396
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,414
So, yeah, let's do this.

397
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:38,415
[both laugh softly]

398
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:39,460
I'm in.

399
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,378
So, where are you
taking me, anyway?

400
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,857
I actually have no idea.

401
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,685
I can't drive and be emotionally
honest at the same time.

402
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:50,297
[laughs]

403
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:53,256
Well, how about we just
pull over and kiss some more?

404
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,302
That's a solid idea.

405
00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:58,174
I do like kissing.
[laughs]

406
00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,741
Me, too.

407
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,312
Well, pull over.Oh, right, right.

408
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,229
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

409
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,926
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

410
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,275
[quietly]:
She's divorced and miserable.

411
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,103
Yes.

412
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:15,757
Well, if you ever need
someone to talk to...

413
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,106
No.

414
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,413
You want a new girlfriend,
not a new patient.

415
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,459
I mean, not as a therapist,
I mean as a friend.

416
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,940
M-More than a friend.
I mean, start as friends

417
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,420
and see what happens.

418
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:28,770
If it happens, it happens.
You know, boy-girl stuff. Uh...

419
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:32,034
Hey, pull it together
or the wizard dies.

420
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:34,341
How about dinner?

421
00:16:34,384 --> 00:16:36,560
With wine? Like a date.

422
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:41,261
Uh, lunch with wine
could work. Sure.

423
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:43,219
Sometimes I have eggs for lunch.

424
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:44,394
Uh, like a frittata.

425
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,398
I don't know why
I'm telling you this. Uh...

426
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,531
Let's do Saturday.

427
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:53,012
Sounds great. I'll call you.

428
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,536
[laughs, whoops]

429
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,755
Yeah! That's how it's done.

430
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:59,888
No, it's not, but it worked.

431
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,020
Wait.

432
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,413
Hand me that wizard.

433
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,549
[shouts]

434
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,464
[shatters]

435
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:13,075
Now you are free.

436
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,077
[wind whooshing]

437
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,913
I mean, it was eerie.

438
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,350
Like a Stephen King
level of eerie.

439
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:31,572
Trevor smashed the wizard,
it got ten degrees colder,

440
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:35,750
and then Marta turned
into a crow and flew away.

441
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,491
Seriously?

442
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,884
I didn't see it, but I
went inside to get my keys

443
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:43,105
and when I came back out,
there was just a bird.

444
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:47,240
I'm sorry, who's Marta?

445
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,938
Exactly.

446
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:53,072
All right, look, since it
seems you saved Trevor's life,

447
00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,509
you're forgiven for
missing my birthday.

448
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,815
You're not gonna believe
what happened to me.

449
00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,948
Just know you're gonna
have to top a human

450
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,471
who turned into a crow.

451
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:04,822
Andy and I were in
a bank robbery.

452
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:07,347
He saved my life and
we're in love again.

453
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,700
They're really
different stories,

454
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:14,571
but I think Jill wins.

455
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:24,712
Uh, so Trevor's taking
a three-month leave of absence?

456
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,714
Yeah. He went to lunch
with his high school crush,

457
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:29,108
and now they're going
to kayak the fjords.

458
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,154
So...

459
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,636
the guy who grounds you
e-emotionally

460
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:40,467
twice a week is gone
for th-three months?

461
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,688
He said I'd be okay without him.
What do you think about that?

462
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:48,736
I'm thinking
you could still Zoom with him

463
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,694
if there's an emergency, right?

464
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:52,174
Oh, yeah, definitely.

465
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,698
And I apologize in advance
for the bad choices

466
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,787
I might make during this period.

467
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:59,442
Apology accepted.[both chuckle]

468
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:02,358
Ha. You don't mean that.

469
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,147
Still not buying it.

470
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,422
Okay, that one counted.[clears throat]

471
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,467
Captioning sponsored by
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472
00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:33,476
Captioned by
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