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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
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Oh.
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Hello.
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Hello.
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That was quick.
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Well, obviously,
I know the house, so...
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So you have an unfair advantage.
Unfair advantage. Yes.
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Well, let's...
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Come on in.
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Are you not going to get the... Oh.
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Sorry, we weren't properly
introduced. I'm Ian, by the way.
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Hello.
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We'll just... Oh.
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It's Rachel, isn't it? Rebecca.
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Rebecca. I work with Jeremy. Oh.
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I say work with. I'm more on the
IT side, but obviously with him
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being the Office Manager,
there is a fair amount of overlap.
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He's more responsible
for infrastructure
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whereas I take more of a lead in
programme development. Right. Right.
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What did you say
your name was again? It's Ian.
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That's right. Yes.
Jeremy HAS mentioned you.
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Hm. Sh!
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I wonder who that was. Don't know.
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It could be a long game.
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Yes.
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00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:29,849
So, how does it feel to be engaged,
Rachel? Rebecca.
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Rebecca. You set a date yet?
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9th November.
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Oh, dear.
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That's 9/11.
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You'll not forget that
in a hurry, will you?
32
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Oh.
33
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,850
No, I hadn't thought of it
that way, to be honest.
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Well, you must.
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I was christened Richard Ian
Percival, if you can believe that.
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00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,850
RIP.
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Boo. Oh, Carl. Get in quick.
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I heard you talking.
Very slack, Rebecca.
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Why are you hiding in here?
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I didn't choose it, did I?
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Guilty as charged. Have you met Ian?
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No, I don't believe
I've had the pleasure. Carl.
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I'm Rebecca's brother.
44
00:04:21,850 --> 00:04:25,849
So, you must know all the nooks
and crannies of the house, then.
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Oh, yes.
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I spent most of my Christmases
hiding in various cupboards
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waiting for my bossy
little sister to find me.
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You never could, though, could you?
49
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Get in.
50
00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:51,849
Is Daddy playing?
51
00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:56,849
He said he would. He's out showing
Mark and Elizabeth the stables.
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He can do that afterwards.
We're meant to be playing the game.
53
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It's all right.
Keep your voice down.
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You'll give us all away.
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00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:04,850
Yeah, chill out, bitch.
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Sorry, that was misjudged.
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Actually, it was quite funny.
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She is a bit of a bitch,
aren't you, Becks?
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00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:27,849
Lollipops!
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00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:32,850
Come and get your lollipops.
Where are those children hiding?
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00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:37,849
Now, then, if I were going to
secrete myself in this room,
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where would I go?
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00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:41,850
Not behind those curtains. They're
a migraine waiting to happen.
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00:05:43,850 --> 00:05:45,850
Oh, hanging around
the toilets, perhaps.
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00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:49,850
It, er, has been known.
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00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:55,850
Or would I enjoy spending
time in the closet?
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00:05:57,850 --> 00:05:59,849
Oh, not interrupting
anything, I hope.
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Come on.
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00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:06,849
It's like the back room
of Cinderella's at Wakefield.
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00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:08,849
Has anyone got any poppers or lube?
Stuart.
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00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:10,849
You two know each other, then,
do you?
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00:06:10,850 --> 00:06:11,849
Unfortunately, yes.
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They're partners.
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00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:14,849
In what line?
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00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:17,849
Well, used to be straight up
and down, but not any more.
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I'm in IT.
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Congratulations.
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00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:22,849
I'm in SH-IT cos
I got in late last night, didn't I?
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00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,849
Stuart, you can do what you like.
It doesn't bother me.
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00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:29,849
Oh, I see.
You're living together partners.
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00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:31,649
Yeah, we're queer, dear,
get used to it.
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That's it. I can't stay here.
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Carl, please.
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Stuart, behave.
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00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:36,849
This party's not about you.
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00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:38,850
It's about me and Jeremy,
so butt out. Carl.
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You're much prettier
when you're angry, and so are you.
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00:06:44,850 --> 00:06:47,849
Anyway, changing the subject
slightly, I'm not being funny,
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00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:49,849
but there's a man downstairs
that absolutely stinks.
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00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:51,849
Yes, that's Stinky John.
91
00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:53,849
And what is it? Is it his clothes?
His breath?
92
00:06:53,850 --> 00:06:55,849
I don't know. He was at school
with us, wasn't he, Carl?
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00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,849
Yes. That's when he was just John.
Not Stinky John.
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00:06:57,850 --> 00:07:01,849
Something must have happened to him.
He just stopped washing one day.
95
00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:02,849
Maybe we should trace it back.
96
00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:05,849
Maybe we should.
Who Do You Stink You Are?
97
00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:08,850
And what about all the other ones?
There was that really boring one.
98
00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:15,849
Yes, and, um, what about that
old woman that's wandering around?
99
00:07:15,850 --> 00:07:18,849
Oh, God, that's Geraldine.
She's Daddy's cleaner.
100
00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:21,849
I asked her to come and serve drinks
but she thinks she's a guest.
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That is hilar!
You've got to tell her.
102
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I can't now. She's all dressed up.
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00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:28,849
Dressed up?
She looks like Feed The Birds.
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00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:32,849
There's a sandwich man at work
who wears a yellow T-shirt.
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00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:35,849
It's a jersey
but it's T-shirt material,
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and all the girls call him
Mustard Mike.
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Well, thank God I brought champagne.
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Who wants a swig?
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Found them! They're in here! Sh.
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That's it, is it? I've won?
No, you've got to hide as well.
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Oh, OK.
112
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No, in here! Us.
113
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Oh, there's not really
much space in there.
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That's why it's fun, apparently.
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I'm a little bit claustrophobic.
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Then it's even more fun.
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Quick, before someone sees you.
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So, what happens now?
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We wait for the others to find us.
120
00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:51,850
So, how do you win?
121
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Nobody wins. You just wait.
122
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Oh.
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All right.
124
00:09:05,689 --> 00:09:06,849
So, when does the game start?
125
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,849
This is the game, Rachel.
We're playing it.
126
00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:11,849
Oh, so you're Rachel, are you?
127
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,849
Yes, hello.
128
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:16,850
Because I've been calling
Rebecca Rachel, haven't I? Yes.
129
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,849
I think I just got mixed up because
Jeremy talks about you all the time.
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00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,850
Does he?
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Yes.
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00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:27,849
Who are you talking to?
133
00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:30,850
Which one are you again?
Rebecca. Yes.
134
00:09:32,850 --> 00:09:35,849
Oh, I've not seen this much wood
since I was... Don't.
135
00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:37,849
So what does Jeremy say about me?
I'm sorry?
136
00:09:37,850 --> 00:09:39,849
At work. You said he talks about me.
137
00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:41,849
Oh, just...
138
00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:44,850
the usual boring girlfriend stuff.
139
00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:48,849
Boring girlfriend?
140
00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:53,849
Not that you're boring. Just
the stuff he says about you is...
141
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:54,850
Boring?
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00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:56,850
Yes.
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Coming from you, Ian,
that's quite something. Thank you.
144
00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:02,849
You're welcome.
145
00:10:02,850 --> 00:10:05,849
Is anyone else getting hot?
146
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:08,849
I just need to open the door a crack.
I just need to get some air.
147
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,849
Wait till Stinky John gets here.
You'll need more than a crack.
148
00:10:10,850 --> 00:10:13,849
Is Stinky John playing?
Everybody's playing. It's Sardines.
149
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:16,849
Oh, I don't know if I can stay in
here if he gets in. I do get a bit...
150
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,849
Don't worry. Me and you
will nip through to Narnia,
151
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,849
have a snowball fight,
get some Turkish Delight.
152
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:23,849
I'm sorry. I need to breathe.
No, you're not allowed.
153
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,849
She's allowed to breathe.
154
00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:27,849
I wouldn't mind stretching
the old legs, actually.
155
00:10:27,850 --> 00:10:29,850
Been in here a while.
156
00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:32,849
What? Oh, this is ridiculous.
157
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:33,849
I'm going to have a pee-break then.
158
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,849
That champagne's gone
right through me.
159
00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:36,849
Well, don't flush it.
160
00:10:36,850 --> 00:10:39,649
Don't worry. You know my motto.
If it's yellow, let it mellow.
161
00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:40,849
If it's brown, flush it down.
162
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:42,850
Oh, occupied!
163
00:10:44,850 --> 00:10:48,549
Sorry! Well, that's something
I shall never un-see.
164
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:49,849
Who is it? Feed The Birds.
165
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,849
Geraldine.
166
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,850
Shouldn't she be using
the staff toilets?
167
00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:03,849
You OK?
168
00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:05,849
What's the matter with you?
169
00:11:05,850 --> 00:11:09,850
What do you think, Rebecca?
Look where we are.
170
00:11:13,850 --> 00:11:16,849
There you go, lovey.
Doesn't have a lock.
171
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,850
It's an en suite.
You warmed the seat for me.
172
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,849
I heard you all talking in there.
173
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,849
I just didn't want to disturb you.
174
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,849
That's a bomby dress.
175
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:30,849
Thank you. I got it in Paris.
176
00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:34,850
My hip went that colour when
I fell up some steps at Legoland.
177
00:11:36,850 --> 00:11:39,849
I was just getting some air.
I'm a bit claustrophobic.
178
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:41,849
Is that why you can't bear
to touch a snake?
179
00:11:41,850 --> 00:11:43,849
'You've got that,
haven't you, Carl?'
180
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:45,850
I'd hardly call it a snake, Stuart.
181
00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:48,849
More like a scaly lizard.
182
00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:50,849
'I heard that.' Good.
183
00:11:50,850 --> 00:11:53,849
Right. Shall we...
184
00:11:53,850 --> 00:11:54,850
assume the position?
185
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:57,850
It's just a game.
186
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,850
Wait for me!
187
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:06,849
Room for little 'un.
188
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:07,850
Of course there is.
189
00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:14,850
It's like the time and relative
dimension in space.
190
00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:18,850
TARDIS.
191
00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:24,850
So, Rachel, tell me again
how you know Jeremy.
192
00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:28,849
Um...
193
00:12:28,850 --> 00:12:30,850
Rachel is Jeremy's ex, Geraldine.
194
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:34,849
Oh, that's it.
195
00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:37,849
I knew it was something
I wasn't supposed to mention.
196
00:12:37,850 --> 00:12:40,849
We're just mates now. Text buddies.
197
00:12:40,850 --> 00:12:42,849
He BBMs me every now and again
at weekends.
198
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,849
Oh, lovely.
199
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:49,849
Yeah, he BBMs me a lot, too.
Always BBMing.
200
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:52,850
What it is to be young.
201
00:12:56,850 --> 00:12:59,849
It's been ages
since I've been in this room.
202
00:12:59,850 --> 00:13:01,849
Your dad usually keeps it locked.
You know, after...
203
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:05,849
We're not going down that road,
Geraldine. It's a party, remember?
204
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:07,850
Oh, yes.
205
00:13:09,850 --> 00:13:11,849
♪ Why am I always the bridesmaid
206
00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:14,849
♪ Never the blushing bride
207
00:13:14,850 --> 00:13:18,849
♪ Ding dong, wedding bells
208
00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:22,849
♪ Only ring for other girls
209
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:24,849
♪ One fine day
210
00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:27,849
♪ Oh let it be soon
211
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:34,850
♪ I shall wake up in the morning
on my own honeymoon. ♪
212
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:39,850
Right, I'm coming back in.
Nobody fart.
213
00:13:42,850 --> 00:13:46,850
Smell that. Carbolic. We should get
some of that for our en suite.
214
00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:48,849
This is fun, isn't it?
215
00:13:48,850 --> 00:13:51,849
Thank you, Geraldine. Yes, it is.
216
00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:52,850
Fun.
217
00:13:56,850 --> 00:13:58,849
Do you have a girlfriend, Ian?
218
00:13:58,850 --> 00:14:01,849
No. No.
219
00:14:01,850 --> 00:14:04,850
Young, free and single
at the moment.
220
00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:07,849
I'm not being a monk.
221
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:11,850
I've had some experiences, but no.
222
00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:14,850
Pretty barren at the moment.
223
00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:17,850
A pretty arid patch.
224
00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:22,850
We'll have to get it fixed up,
won't we? Yes.
225
00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:26,849
Do you like him, Rachel? No, no, no.
226
00:14:26,850 --> 00:14:30,849
I have a boyfriend. His name is Lee.
Did you meet him downstairs?
227
00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:36,849
Yes, he gave me his jacket
and asked me to get him a drink.
228
00:14:36,850 --> 00:14:40,849
Oh he's only young. How young?
Is he legal? He's 21. Oh, toy boy.
229
00:14:40,850 --> 00:14:43,849
You know what they say. If there's grass
on the wicket, let play commence.
230
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,850
Oh, for fuck's sake,
Stuart. Give it a rest.
231
00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:48,849
What's gotten into you?
232
00:14:48,850 --> 00:14:52,849
Can't you just talk like a normal
human being for five minutes? Sh.
233
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:53,850
Mark, in here.
234
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,849
Have you managed
to get rid of him yet?
235
00:14:56,850 --> 00:14:58,849
Yeah, he's gone off
to look for the others.
236
00:14:58,850 --> 00:15:03,849
God, I loathe playing other people's
family games. It's trouble.
237
00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:05,395
We should have been done by now.
238
00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:06,849
You said we'd be away by three.
239
00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:09,849
Why don't you just do the lie
about the babysitter being ill?
240
00:15:09,850 --> 00:15:12,849
Because it needs to be seeded.
You need to seed it.
241
00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:14,849
Doesn't need to be seeded.
You just say it.
242
00:15:14,850 --> 00:15:18,849
"Oh, I'm awfully sorry, we've got to go now.
Babysitter's not feeling very well." Boom.
243
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:20,946
You're so naive, Mark.
Listen, listen.
244
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:23,849
Old man may be tedious, but he's
our way into Dicky Laurence, yeah?
245
00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,849
So, we have to put a shift in.
246
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:28,849
I thought you hated Dicky Laurence.
Yeah, I hate Dicky Laurence.
247
00:15:28,850 --> 00:15:29,849
He's a first-class prick,
248
00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:32,849
but I need him to smooth over
that merger next year, yeah?
249
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:33,849
You know what they say.
250
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,849
Keep your friends close,
but your enemies closer.
251
00:15:35,850 --> 00:15:38,849
Such a horrible shit, Mark.
252
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,850
That's why you bloody love me.
253
00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:47,850
No! Mark, stop it. Come on!
254
00:15:48,850 --> 00:15:50,850
Just fingers.
255
00:15:53,850 --> 00:15:55,523
Someone could walk in on them.
256
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:58,849
Well, that's the thrill of it, Geraldine.
Get out of the way, I'm going to film it.
257
00:15:58,850 --> 00:16:01,850
No, you don't. Pervert.
Quick, someone make a noise.
258
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:11,849
I think that was
a bit too subtle, Ian.
259
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,849
Geronimo!
260
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:14,850
Fuck.
261
00:16:28,850 --> 00:16:32,849
Oh, you found us. Well done.
262
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:34,849
What the hell?! Sardines.
263
00:16:34,850 --> 00:16:37,850
Hello, Mark.
Welcome to the wardrobe.
264
00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:42,850
Ian. I work for you.
265
00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:46,849
In IT.
266
00:16:46,850 --> 00:16:47,849
Of course. Hi.
267
00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:50,849
We've been hiding in here for ages
waiting for someone to find us,
268
00:16:50,850 --> 00:16:54,849
and these doors are so thick,
we didn't hear anything, did we?
269
00:16:54,850 --> 00:16:56,850
No, no. No.
270
00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,849
Do you want to come in then?
Before Daddy finds us? Um...
271
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:04,849
Yeah, I'm a teeny bit worried
about the babysitter.
272
00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:06,849
She said she's feeling
under the weather.
273
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:08,850
Oh, well, so you did.
274
00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:12,850
No, I'm sure we'll be all right
for a few minutes, won't we? Yup.
275
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:16,850
Yeah, looks like a lot of fun.
276
00:17:19,850 --> 00:17:20,849
All right.
277
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:22,850
I'm getting in.
278
00:17:23,850 --> 00:17:25,849
Yes. Everybody watch my shoes.
279
00:17:25,850 --> 00:17:28,199
Or maybe I should just take them
off... Just get in Liz. Yes, good.
280
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:30,849
The sooner we start.
You stay in there next to Rachel.
281
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,849
Rebecca. Sorry.
282
00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:35,849
It's my engagement party.
Nobody seems to know my name.
283
00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:39,849
No, it's just that Jeremy
always says...
284
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:40,850
What?
285
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:44,849
This one's Rachel.
286
00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:47,849
Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.
287
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:48,850
Nice to meet you, too.
288
00:17:50,850 --> 00:17:53,849
Ah, there you are.
Already been in here once.
289
00:17:53,850 --> 00:17:55,849
Lee, come in.
We're having such a laugh.
290
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:58,849
Wardrobe. Can't believe
I didn't check the fucking wardrobe.
291
00:17:58,850 --> 00:18:01,849
I'm a knob. Is everything all right?
I thought I heard someone shouting.
292
00:18:01,850 --> 00:18:03,849
That was me. I said "Geronimo!"
293
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,849
Don't ask me why.
294
00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:08,849
Have you met everyone?
Lee, this is Ian.
295
00:18:08,850 --> 00:18:09,849
He's... Works with Mark.
296
00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:11,849
For Mark, actually.
I own the company.
297
00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:14,849
Oh, yeah. Well, if you ever
need any roofing doing.
298
00:18:14,850 --> 00:18:18,849
You know Rebecca, obviously.
And this is Mark's wife, Elizabeth.
299
00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:19,849
Hello.
300
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,850
Hi. You all right?
You look like you've been crying.
301
00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:26,849
It's just a little bit
dusty in here, that's all.
302
00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:31,849
And this is Rebecca's brother, Carl.
And that's Stu, his...
303
00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:34,849
Flatmate. Pleased to meet you.
304
00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:36,849
Flatmate? And this is Geraldine.
305
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:37,849
Oh, yeah, I know, yeah.
306
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,849
Wouldn't mind a cheeky top up
if you don't mind, love. Pardon?
307
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,849
Little cheeky champers. Or succa.
308
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:44,849
Why do you keep asking me?
309
00:18:44,850 --> 00:18:46,849
Rebecca said you were
serving drinks. No.
310
00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:50,849
No. I'm a guest.
He's got his wires crossed.
311
00:18:50,850 --> 00:18:53,849
Yes, we're all guests here.
All equal.
312
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:55,849
I used to be their nanny.
313
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:58,849
I've known all three of them
since they were so high.
314
00:18:58,850 --> 00:19:00,849
Three of them? Mmm.
315
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,849
Yes, we have a sister. Caroline.
316
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,849
Is she not coming, Becky?
I'd love to see the boys again.
317
00:19:05,850 --> 00:19:07,849
They must be getting quite big now.
318
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:11,850
No, they can't make it.
It's a bit too far to travel. Oh.
319
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:15,849
I'll go get my own drink then,
shall I?
320
00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:18,849
Here we go, Lee. I've got some
contraband you can have.
321
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:21,849
We'll form a splinter group
under the bed.
322
00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:22,849
You can't do that.
323
00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:25,850
It's all right.
I'm sure my flatmate won't mind.
324
00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:27,850
Come on, then.
325
00:19:30,849 --> 00:19:31,849
Are you trying to bum me?
326
00:19:31,850 --> 00:19:33,849
I'm sorry, Stuart.
That's against the rules.
327
00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:35,849
Homophobic?
328
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:37,849
Oh, you've got that,
haven't you, lovey?
329
00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:39,160
No, I'm claustrophobic.
330
00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:40,849
Well, it is a little crowded
in here.
331
00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:44,849
Yes, it's almost like
we're a tin of sardines.
332
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,849
Actually, Colin, why don't you step
out for a minute and give us
333
00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:52,849
a bit of room. Yes.
I mean, it's Ian, but, yes.
334
00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:56,849
Yes. Sorry. Ian.
Under the bed with those two, yeah?
335
00:19:56,850 --> 00:19:57,849
Sorry, private party.
336
00:19:57,850 --> 00:19:59,849
No, you cannot play Sardines in this.
337
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:04,850
Everyone is hiding in the same place
together. That's what makes it fun.
338
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:22,849
Oh, yes. Oh, Lee. That's nice.
Oh, keep doing that.
339
00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:25,849
What big hands you've got. Oh, yes.
340
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:26,849
'Lee?'
341
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,849
Babe, I'm not doing anything.
342
00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:30,849
'Leave him alone, Stuart.'
343
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,849
What's the matter, Carl?
You jealous? 'Piss off.'
344
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:35,849
Stop arguing, you two.
This is ridiculous.
345
00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:37,849
It's not my fault
you're afraid of intimacy, Carl.
346
00:20:37,850 --> 00:20:40,849
'And it's not my fault either.
347
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:41,850
'You have no idea.'
348
00:20:56,850 --> 00:20:58,849
Ta-da.
349
00:20:58,850 --> 00:20:59,849
John.
350
00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:03,849
Oh, looks like I'm one of the last
to join the party.
351
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:05,850
Can I squeeze in? No.
352
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,849
I just think it's a bit too full.
353
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,850
No, there's plenty of room.
354
00:21:13,850 --> 00:21:15,849
I feel sick.
355
00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:16,849
Breathe through your mouth.
356
00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:19,849
Actually, John, some people
are hiding under the bed.
357
00:21:19,850 --> 00:21:22,849
Oh, no, you don't. Just what
thinks I'm a bit claustrophobic.
358
00:21:22,850 --> 00:21:24,849
That's not the game, is it?
359
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:28,849
You're all meant to be squashed in
together. That's the rules.
360
00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:31,249
Yes, but we thought it doesn't really
matter about the rules.
361
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:34,250
As long as we're all in the same
room it still counts.
362
00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:38,850
All right. As you wish.
363
00:21:41,850 --> 00:21:44,849
Actually, John,
there really isn't room under here.
364
00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:47,849
There's suitcases and everything.
365
00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:50,849
Isn't that right, Lee?
Packed mate. Sorry.
366
00:21:50,850 --> 00:21:53,849
I don't think I'd fit under there
anyway, to be honest.
367
00:21:53,850 --> 00:21:56,849
What with the old 26 pack.
368
00:21:56,850 --> 00:21:59,849
Yeah, you're better off going
with the wardrobe group.
369
00:21:59,850 --> 00:22:00,850
All right.
370
00:22:02,850 --> 00:22:04,850
'I'm back again.'
371
00:22:06,850 --> 00:22:09,849
Hang on. What's going on here?
372
00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:11,849
Is it caught or something?
373
00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:15,849
It's stuck, John.
Maybe try going in the bathroom.
374
00:22:15,850 --> 00:22:17,849
First time for everything.
375
00:22:17,850 --> 00:22:20,849
I can see what it is. It's fingers.
376
00:22:20,850 --> 00:22:22,849
Someone's holding it
with their fingers.
377
00:22:22,850 --> 00:22:24,849
No, we're trying to push it.
378
00:22:24,850 --> 00:22:26,849
Oh, let him in. Poor lad.
379
00:22:26,850 --> 00:22:29,850
We can't. Mark, tell them.
Try again behind the curtain.
380
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:33,850
All right. Funniest game of Sardines
I've ever played.
381
00:22:35,850 --> 00:22:36,849
Ah.
382
00:22:36,850 --> 00:22:39,849
You haven't seen Rebecca
anywhere, have you, John?
383
00:22:39,850 --> 00:22:41,849
Oh, caught red-handed.
384
00:22:41,850 --> 00:22:43,849
She's... hiding in the wardrobe.
385
00:22:43,850 --> 00:22:46,849
But you can't get in.
Door's stuck, apparently.
386
00:22:46,850 --> 00:22:47,849
Right. Thanks.
387
00:22:47,850 --> 00:22:49,849
And there's two under the bed.
388
00:22:49,850 --> 00:22:51,850
It's a shambles.
389
00:22:55,850 --> 00:22:58,849
Becks. It's Jeremy. Hi.
390
00:22:58,850 --> 00:23:01,050
Listen, darling, I've just got to
pop down to the station.
391
00:23:01,069 --> 00:23:04,379
Pick up a chum who's running a bit
late. I can't seem to find my keys.
392
00:23:04,450 --> 00:23:06,849
You haven't had them, have you?
No, they're in your jacket.
393
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:10,849
'No, I've looked. They're not there. I can't find them.
I might have to take the Mini. Is that OK?'
394
00:23:10,850 --> 00:23:13,849
All right. Drive safely, though.
395
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:17,850
'Love you.' Love you too, Rachel.
Rebecca.
396
00:23:22,850 --> 00:23:24,850
Rebecca, I love you.
397
00:23:29,850 --> 00:23:31,849
What is that awful smell?
Hello, Andrew.
398
00:23:31,850 --> 00:23:33,849
Searched this room, have you?
399
00:23:33,850 --> 00:23:36,849
Yes. I believe there are some people
hiding in the wardrobe.
400
00:23:36,850 --> 00:23:40,849
Some under the bed, and Stinky
John... John is behind the curtains.
401
00:23:40,850 --> 00:23:44,850
No, that is absolutely wrong.
Come out from there, boy.
402
00:23:45,850 --> 00:23:47,849
You all have to be in the same place.
403
00:23:47,850 --> 00:23:51,849
This isn't Hide and Go Seek.
You know the rules, don't you?
404
00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:53,849
Well? Yes, sir.
405
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:56,850
Come on. Out, out.
406
00:23:59,850 --> 00:24:01,450
It's like the Diary Of Ann Frank.
407
00:24:01,529 --> 00:24:02,849
Hi, Daddy.
408
00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:04,849
Five more sardines to go in the tin.
409
00:24:04,850 --> 00:24:06,849
Sorry, Andrew, it's just I need
to... Come on. In you go.
410
00:24:06,850 --> 00:24:08,849
That's it.
411
00:24:08,850 --> 00:24:09,850
Come along.
412
00:24:20,850 --> 00:24:21,849
There we go.
413
00:24:21,850 --> 00:24:24,849
That's the name of the game.
Sardines.
414
00:24:24,850 --> 00:24:26,849
This is fucking mental.
415
00:24:26,850 --> 00:24:29,849
I've got to tweet a picture of this.
416
00:24:29,850 --> 00:24:31,849
Oh, God. Here we are.
417
00:24:31,850 --> 00:24:33,850
Right. Smile, everyone.
418
00:24:38,850 --> 00:24:41,850
It's just they both start
with an R, so I...
419
00:24:45,850 --> 00:24:48,850
Would anyone like a mint? John?
420
00:24:50,850 --> 00:24:52,849
No, thank you.
421
00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:55,850
Are you sure?
They're very refreshing.
422
00:24:56,850 --> 00:24:59,849
They give me diarrhoea.
423
00:24:59,850 --> 00:25:01,849
Oh, dear God.
424
00:25:01,850 --> 00:25:04,849
I'll have one, actually. I've got
something catching in my throat.
425
00:25:04,850 --> 00:25:06,850
Pass them round.
426
00:25:11,850 --> 00:25:15,849
Andrew. Elizabeth was just asking
after Dicky Laurence.
427
00:25:15,850 --> 00:25:17,849
How is he these days?
428
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:20,849
Dicky Laurence?
Haven't spoken to him in two years.
429
00:25:20,850 --> 00:25:23,849
Dreadful man. Ah, I thought...
430
00:25:23,850 --> 00:25:25,849
Ah, you thought you were going to
use me as a stepping stone, did you?
431
00:25:25,850 --> 00:25:29,850
Well, tough titty. That bridge
was burned a long time ago.
432
00:25:31,850 --> 00:25:32,850
Babysitter.
433
00:25:35,850 --> 00:25:37,850
You're still in love with her,
aren't you?
434
00:25:47,850 --> 00:25:51,849
We used to love playing Sardines
at parties, didn't we, Dad?
435
00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:54,849
Oh, yes.
We used to call it an icebreaker.
436
00:25:54,850 --> 00:25:56,849
Do you remember the Sardines song?
437
00:25:56,850 --> 00:25:58,849
Of course.
438
00:25:58,850 --> 00:26:01,849
♪ A baby sardine
saw his first submarine... ♪
439
00:26:01,850 --> 00:26:03,849
Don't you dare sing that.
440
00:26:03,850 --> 00:26:05,850
My house.
I'll do what I bloody well like.
441
00:26:16,850 --> 00:26:19,051
Is it just me or is there,
like, a shitty smell in here?
442
00:26:24,850 --> 00:26:27,850
Do you remember the year
we had the Cub Scouts jamboree?
443
00:26:28,850 --> 00:26:30,849
Chaos it was. Kiddies everywhere.
444
00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:32,849
That was a long time ago.
445
00:26:32,850 --> 00:26:35,849
We were having such a laugh.
446
00:26:35,850 --> 00:26:40,850
And then this one little boy
spoiled it. What was his name?
447
00:26:42,850 --> 00:26:44,849
I think we ought to be
making a move now.
448
00:26:44,850 --> 00:26:48,850
Oh, the police were involved and
everything. Do you remember, John?
449
00:26:49,850 --> 00:26:51,849
Phillip Harrison.
450
00:26:51,850 --> 00:26:53,849
That's it. Little Pip.
451
00:26:53,850 --> 00:26:55,849
Whatever happened to him?
452
00:26:55,850 --> 00:26:59,849
Family moved away, as I recall.
Spain or Somerset.
453
00:26:59,850 --> 00:27:00,850
Mmm, good riddance I say.
454
00:27:01,850 --> 00:27:04,849
Accusing you of such
horrible things.
455
00:27:04,850 --> 00:27:06,849
He paid them to go away.
456
00:27:06,850 --> 00:27:11,849
I was teaching the boy how to wash
himself. Basic hygiene.
457
00:27:11,850 --> 00:27:14,850
Well, we weren't all that lucky.
458
00:27:15,850 --> 00:27:16,850
Were we, John?
459
00:27:19,850 --> 00:27:21,849
I can smell carbolic soap.
460
00:27:21,850 --> 00:27:23,850
All right. That's enough.
461
00:27:34,850 --> 00:27:36,850
Now, before I ring Jeremy Kyle...
462
00:27:37,850 --> 00:27:41,849
..can I just say there's no-one actually
looking for us any more. We're all here.
463
00:27:41,850 --> 00:27:43,850
No, that Ian fella's not here.
464
00:27:44,850 --> 00:27:47,849
Yes, I've got to go and pick him
up from the station actually, so...
465
00:27:47,850 --> 00:27:50,849
Erm, he's in the bathroom, I think.
What?
466
00:27:50,850 --> 00:27:53,850
He's a boring chap with glasses.
467
00:27:54,850 --> 00:27:55,850
Oh, no, that's not Ian.
468
00:28:10,850 --> 00:28:15,849
♪ A baby sardine
saw his first submarine... ♪
469
00:28:15,850 --> 00:28:16,850
'Hello?'
470
00:28:18,850 --> 00:28:22,849
♪ He was scared and watched
through the peephole... ♪
471
00:28:22,850 --> 00:28:24,850
'What's going on?'
472
00:28:27,850 --> 00:28:31,850
♪ Oh, come, come, come,
said the sardine's mum... ♪
473
00:28:33,850 --> 00:28:34,849
'Open this door.'
474
00:28:34,850 --> 00:28:38,850
♪ It's only a tin full of people. ♪
475
00:28:40,850 --> 00:28:42,850
Pip?
476
00:28:58,593 --> 00:29:27,020
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