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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
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Which one of these is the frumpiest?
Hmm?
3
00:00:28,406 --> 00:00:30,826
I'm meant to be choosing my outfit
for this audition.
4
00:00:30,891 --> 00:00:32,651
She's meant to be a frumpy spinster.
5
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Well, what you're wearing now is
good. I haven't changed yet.
6
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I meant out of these two.
7
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Oh, the blue one.
8
00:00:40,411 --> 00:00:41,931
Really? Not this one?
9
00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:43,891
Oh, whichever.
What are you auditioning for?
10
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D-day Doris. Ha! What?
11
00:00:46,331 --> 00:00:48,131
I thought you said D-day Doris.
12
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I did say D-day Doris.
It's a play about land girls.
13
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:54,291
Sounds like the kind of shit
they tour around old people's homes.
14
00:00:54,291 --> 00:00:56,971
It is. I haven't worked for
five months, Tom.
15
00:00:56,971 --> 00:00:59,011
Beggars can't be choosers. Yep.
16
00:00:59,011 --> 00:01:03,051
Speaking of which, have you seen
that tramp down there? Where?
17
00:01:04,451 --> 00:01:07,371
There. Between the parked cars down
there, look.
18
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,091
I can't see anything. Well, exactly.
19
00:01:09,091 --> 00:01:11,731
What kind of place is that to be a
beggar, if no-one can see him?
20
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He might not be begging.
He might be waiting for someone.
21
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Of course he's begging. He's got
a polystyrene cup in front of him.
22
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Could be a pavement artist.
Piss artist more like.
23
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Yes, well, there
but for the grace of God.
24
00:01:23,211 --> 00:01:24,811
What? Saying I could be a tramp?
25
00:01:24,811 --> 00:01:26,211
Don't use that word, Tom.
26
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,811
What, tramp? Yes. It's insulting.
27
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It's like gypsy or half-caste.
You can't say it.
28
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Well, whatever it is,
I don't like it. It's weird.
29
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,251
Do you want me to walk you to walk
you to the tube?
30
00:01:36,251 --> 00:01:37,491
No, I'll be alright.
31
00:01:37,491 --> 00:01:40,571
He's hardly going to attack
a spinster named Doris, is he?
32
00:01:40,571 --> 00:01:43,091
How are you getting on with
your marking? It's alright.
33
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I'm giving them all a 'wow' stamp
34
00:01:44,811 --> 00:01:46,651
and every fifth one gets a
'brilliant.'
35
00:01:46,651 --> 00:01:49,211
I think you should be truthful.
It matters what you write.
36
00:01:49,211 --> 00:01:50,771
I remember teachers' comments.
37
00:01:50,771 --> 00:01:53,891
If I read all these and marked them
all properly I'd be here all night.
38
00:01:53,891 --> 00:01:57,051
What would rather be doing? Staring
out the window at your little...
39
00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:59,051
What? Indigent.
40
00:01:59,051 --> 00:02:02,411
See, you don't know what to call him
either, do you? A tramp's a tramp.
41
00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:05,171
I've got to go. Right, I'm going to
walk you to the tube.
42
00:02:05,171 --> 00:02:06,851
You don't have to. I am.
43
00:02:06,851 --> 00:02:08,651
I love you, Tom.
44
00:02:08,651 --> 00:02:10,931
I need some milk anyway.
45
00:02:20,411 --> 00:02:23,291
OK, not to worry. Ring me when you
get home, all right.
46
00:02:24,971 --> 00:02:28,371
Right, I've got to go. I think my
pizza's arrived. OK, yeah, love you.
47
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Speak later. Bye.
48
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,451
Hello.
49
00:02:33,451 --> 00:02:35,011
'I've got your wallet.'
50
00:02:36,291 --> 00:02:37,851
Pardon?
51
00:02:37,851 --> 00:02:41,691
'I think I've got your wallet.
I found it outside.'
52
00:02:41,691 --> 00:02:44,251
Err, OK, come up.
53
00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:11,651
Sorry, I just found it.
54
00:03:11,651 --> 00:03:13,411
Oh, where, where was it?
55
00:03:13,411 --> 00:03:16,491
By the shops.
Oh, didn't even know I'd lost it.
56
00:03:17,651 --> 00:03:19,971
It's all there.
I didn't take anything.
57
00:03:19,971 --> 00:03:23,451
Oh, no, no, I was just...
I've got some dry-cleaning in,
58
00:03:23,451 --> 00:03:25,971
and you know what it's like
when you can't find your ticket.
59
00:03:26,691 --> 00:03:28,531
I don't do much dry-cleaning.
60
00:03:28,531 --> 00:03:31,891
No.
61
00:03:31,891 --> 00:03:35,371
Well, look, thank you and I want
to give you something.
62
00:03:35,371 --> 00:03:37,291
Oh, you don't have to.
63
00:03:37,291 --> 00:03:39,131
No, no, I'd like to.
64
00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:40,771
I've only got 20s.
65
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,651
Haven't got any change, have you?
66
00:03:43,651 --> 00:03:45,731
I might have a little bit
in my cup...
67
00:03:48,931 --> 00:03:50,931
Nah, nowhere near enough.
68
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:54,411
Right, look, I'm going to give
you...I'm going to give you two 20s.
69
00:03:54,411 --> 00:03:56,891
Oh, no, that's too much. Yeah, it is.
70
00:03:56,891 --> 00:03:59,251
Ideally I would give you 30,
but, well,
71
00:03:59,251 --> 00:04:01,331
you saved me a lot of hassle,
you know?
72
00:04:01,331 --> 00:04:04,091
Cancelling cards, and so, thanks.
73
00:04:04,091 --> 00:04:05,691
I'm Migg.
74
00:04:05,691 --> 00:04:07,011
Sorry?
75
00:04:07,011 --> 00:04:11,251
My name's Migg. Mick?
No, Migg. Two Gs.
76
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,211
Steady on,
I've just given you two 20s.
77
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,851
Sorry, do you want them back?
78
00:04:14,851 --> 00:04:18,011
No, I was making a joke about the
Gs being like grands.
79
00:04:22,411 --> 00:04:26,371
Anyway, I need to close this door
because it's freezing outside.
80
00:04:26,371 --> 00:04:29,931
Yeah. Yeah, I know it is.
81
00:04:29,931 --> 00:04:31,651
Yeah, of course you do.
82
00:04:33,051 --> 00:04:34,371
Well...
83
00:04:36,011 --> 00:04:37,291
Thanks.
84
00:05:11,931 --> 00:05:13,131
Hello?
85
00:05:13,131 --> 00:05:15,051
Oh, hi, Tom. It's Migg.
86
00:05:15,051 --> 00:05:16,691
Sorry, who is it?
87
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,931
Migg. I found your wallet.
88
00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:21,211
What, again?
89
00:05:21,211 --> 00:05:23,451
No, before. Can I come in?
90
00:05:23,451 --> 00:05:25,891
Err, I've just got out of
the shower.
91
00:05:25,891 --> 00:05:28,531
I've brought you a present.
92
00:05:28,531 --> 00:05:30,531
Just...wait a minute.
93
00:05:45,051 --> 00:05:46,851
How did you get in?
94
00:05:46,851 --> 00:05:52,371
The door was open. Here.
I used the money you gave me.
95
00:05:52,371 --> 00:05:56,731
I did have a little nip. I'm sorry.
It's bitter out there tonight.
96
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:57,971
Oh, is it?
97
00:05:59,811 --> 00:06:02,331
Well, I just wanted to say thank you.
98
00:06:02,331 --> 00:06:04,491
What for? I haven't done anything.
99
00:06:04,491 --> 00:06:06,771
It's just nice to talk to
a fellow human.
100
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:09,931
Makes me feel like I exist.
101
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,451
See you then.
102
00:06:16,171 --> 00:06:19,571
Look, do you want a quick drink?
103
00:06:21,091 --> 00:06:23,691
Sorry?
Just one for the road. One.
104
00:06:25,211 --> 00:06:27,691
Oh, I suppose so. Come in.
105
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Thanks.
106
00:06:30,011 --> 00:06:31,811
Should I take my shoes off?
107
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If you don't mind.
108
00:06:35,611 --> 00:06:39,811
Actually, fuck it, leave them on.
It's fine.
109
00:06:39,811 --> 00:06:41,091
Thank you.
110
00:06:43,811 --> 00:06:46,371
Right, well,
I'll get some glasses, shall I?
111
00:06:49,571 --> 00:06:51,731
I'm afraid I haven't got any ice.
112
00:06:51,731 --> 00:06:54,531
Oh, that's alright. I'm cold enough.
113
00:06:54,531 --> 00:06:56,771
Yeah, so you keep saying.
114
00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:04,851
Oh, sorry. Should I not sit here?
Do you want me to move?
115
00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:07,371
No, no, it's fine.
You've done it now.
116
00:07:07,371 --> 00:07:10,411
Best to just contain it.
117
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Here you go. Thanks.
118
00:07:12,491 --> 00:07:14,731
Cheers. Cheers.
119
00:07:22,131 --> 00:07:23,531
You doing your homework?
120
00:07:23,531 --> 00:07:27,891
Yeah, marking.
Ancient Egypt's come round again.
121
00:07:27,891 --> 00:07:29,331
Ah.
122
00:07:30,771 --> 00:07:32,611
I've actually got an assembly
tomorrow
123
00:07:32,611 --> 00:07:34,291
so I can't stay up too long.
124
00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:35,851
Oh, of course.
125
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:44,331
It must be a rewarding job, though.
126
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:48,491
Yeah, it's alright.
It's not really what I want to do.
127
00:07:48,491 --> 00:07:50,411
What do you want to do?
128
00:07:50,411 --> 00:07:52,771
Well, I'm writing a novel, actually.
129
00:07:52,771 --> 00:07:55,451
Really? What's it about?
130
00:07:55,451 --> 00:07:57,811
Well, it's like an
English Charles Bukowski.
131
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,091
You won't have heard of him.
I know Charles.
132
00:08:00,091 --> 00:08:01,931
Oh, yeah? Which one have you read?
133
00:08:01,931 --> 00:08:04,371
No, I mean I know him.
Well, I knew him.
134
00:08:04,371 --> 00:08:06,931
I met him in New York.
135
00:08:06,931 --> 00:08:08,771
Really?
136
00:08:08,771 --> 00:08:12,171
Because he was a...one
of you for a while.
137
00:08:12,171 --> 00:08:15,011
Yeah, he took a bit of a shine to me.
138
00:08:15,011 --> 00:08:19,611
I spent a few weeks with him while he
was writing his last book. Pulp?
139
00:08:19,611 --> 00:08:23,251
That's the one. Do you know, I've
never actually read it.
140
00:08:23,251 --> 00:08:25,171
Well, I've got a copy of it here...
141
00:08:33,211 --> 00:08:38,251
So, what...what was he like?
142
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:42,251
CB? Oh. He was an amazing man.
143
00:08:43,451 --> 00:08:46,891
Do you know, he told me such stories.
144
00:08:48,491 --> 00:08:50,331
Such stories.
145
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:03,691
Tom, what are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be at work?
146
00:09:03,691 --> 00:09:07,971
What time is it? It's 10.20.
I thought you had an assembly.
147
00:09:07,971 --> 00:09:09,811
Oh, shit, 12 missed calls.
148
00:09:09,811 --> 00:09:11,651
What have you been doing?
149
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:15,971
It was Migg. Who? You know, the guy
from across the road.
150
00:09:15,971 --> 00:09:17,651
What, the tramp?
151
00:09:17,651 --> 00:09:20,131
Yeah, don't call him that.
He's met Charles Bukowski.
152
00:09:20,131 --> 00:09:23,171
Has he been in the flat?
He's still here I think. Migg!
153
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:25,211
Don't! I can't believe this.
154
00:09:25,211 --> 00:09:28,331
You invited a tramp in off the street
and got pissed with him.
155
00:09:28,331 --> 00:09:31,131
It wasn't like that. He
found my wallet. He was being kind.
156
00:09:31,131 --> 00:09:34,451
It's really good. He's given me loads
of really good ideas for the novel.
157
00:09:34,451 --> 00:09:36,691
You wait till you meet him.
I don't want to meet him.
158
00:09:36,691 --> 00:09:40,291
Get rid of him. You better call
the school and make your apologies.
159
00:09:40,291 --> 00:09:43,131
You need that job.
You're not a writer yet.
160
00:09:43,131 --> 00:09:45,451
Oh, well, at least I've got a
job, DJ Doris.
161
00:09:46,491 --> 00:09:48,331
Thank you very much.
162
00:09:48,331 --> 00:09:51,051
I got offered the job,
so piss off, Tom.
163
00:09:51,051 --> 00:09:53,491
And it's D-Day Doris, actually.
164
00:09:55,451 --> 00:09:56,891
Gerri!
165
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,931
Oh, morning, Tom. I hope
you don't mind. I had a bath.
166
00:10:00,931 --> 00:10:03,891
No, that's fine.
I left the water in if you want to...
167
00:10:06,051 --> 00:10:08,091
No, you're alright, thanks.
168
00:10:08,091 --> 00:10:10,371
I'm late for work.
I've got to get going.
169
00:10:10,371 --> 00:10:13,731
I'm not being funny, Tom,
but is that wise?
170
00:10:13,731 --> 00:10:16,011
I mean, it's one thing missing
your assembly
171
00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:19,371
but you might make it worse
if you turn up stinking of booze.
172
00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:23,091
I'd phone in sick if I were you.
173
00:10:23,091 --> 00:10:25,051
Oh, yeah, all right, well,
I'll tell them
174
00:10:25,051 --> 00:10:27,931
I'll go in just for the afternoon.
Yeah.
175
00:10:28,971 --> 00:10:30,851
So who's Gerry?
Is he your flatmate?
176
00:10:30,851 --> 00:10:33,091
No, it's my girlfriend.
Gerri with an I.
177
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,811
Ah, the mad actress.
178
00:10:35,811 --> 00:10:38,131
Hey? That's what you
were calling her last night.
179
00:10:38,131 --> 00:10:39,611
Oh, God, I don't remember.
180
00:10:39,611 --> 00:10:42,971
Let me make you some breakfast. I
need five eggs and some liver.
181
00:10:42,971 --> 00:10:45,451
Listen, Migg, I think
maybe you better be making a move.
182
00:10:45,451 --> 00:10:46,971
I've got a lot of marking to do
183
00:10:46,971 --> 00:10:49,171
and Gerri's going to be back
later on, so...
184
00:10:49,171 --> 00:10:52,931
Yeah, that's fine, Tom, but I
haven't got any clothes.
185
00:10:52,931 --> 00:10:54,171
What?
186
00:10:54,171 --> 00:10:57,651
You put them all in a bin bag and
threw them out last night.
187
00:10:57,651 --> 00:10:59,211
Did I? Yeah.
188
00:10:59,211 --> 00:11:01,491
You said you'd give me
some of your clothes
189
00:11:01,491 --> 00:11:04,051
so I didn't look like such
an "incident?"
190
00:11:04,051 --> 00:11:05,451
Yeah, I meant indigent.
191
00:11:05,451 --> 00:11:08,731
All right, well, I'll sort some
stuff out for you. There's no rush.
192
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:11,651
Sit down. I'll make us
that breakfast, shall I?
193
00:11:13,491 --> 00:11:14,851
Right...
194
00:11:18,451 --> 00:11:19,691
Yeah.
195
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:23,451
I'm sorry.
196
00:11:23,451 --> 00:11:25,131
Thanks.
197
00:11:25,131 --> 00:11:29,811
Right, three on Kamchatka.
What? Where the hell's Kamchatka?
198
00:11:29,811 --> 00:11:32,851
There. I can bring my infantry over
from Alaska. How?
199
00:11:32,851 --> 00:11:35,211
There's a sea lane across
the Pacific.
200
00:11:35,211 --> 00:11:37,011
Um, what have I got now?
201
00:11:37,011 --> 00:11:40,411
Um, New Guinea and Iceland.
202
00:11:40,411 --> 00:11:41,851
Yeah, OK, you know what?
You win.
203
00:11:41,851 --> 00:11:43,691
Do you not want to see it through
to the end?
204
00:11:43,691 --> 00:11:45,051
It doesn't end. It never ends.
205
00:11:45,051 --> 00:11:47,651
Do you want to
play the Settlers of Catan?
206
00:11:47,651 --> 00:11:49,931
No, I just want to have a bath,
get something to eat
207
00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:52,931
and get ready for school tomorrow.
It's Saturday tomorrow.
208
00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:55,211
Oh, piss off! Even win the days!
209
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,811
I wish Gerri would phone.
210
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,931
'You have no messages.'
211
00:12:13,571 --> 00:12:15,011
I'd like to meet this Gerri.
212
00:12:15,011 --> 00:12:16,571
Yeah. You'd like her.
213
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,251
Tom and Gerri.
214
00:12:21,731 --> 00:12:24,731
Her last boyfriend was called Ben.
215
00:12:24,731 --> 00:12:25,891
I don't get it.
216
00:12:25,891 --> 00:12:31,051
Ice cream. Never mind.
I might get some, actually.
217
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,971
I'm a bit peckish.
Do you want anything?
218
00:12:32,971 --> 00:12:34,891
A couple of bottles of red
wouldn't go amiss.
219
00:12:34,891 --> 00:12:37,291
Oh, and we're running
out of cigarettes.
220
00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:41,251
Oh, all right, well, I'll see you
in a minute. OK, thanks Tom.
221
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:43,771
I really appreciate it.
222
00:12:53,651 --> 00:12:55,451
'Hi, this is Tom.
223
00:12:55,451 --> 00:12:58,771
'I can't get to the phone,
please leave a message.'
224
00:12:58,771 --> 00:13:03,171
'Hi, Tom. It's Stevie.
I'm just checking to see you're OK.
225
00:13:03,171 --> 00:13:07,771
'Jackie said you phoned in sick.
Shame you missed the assembly.
226
00:13:07,771 --> 00:13:09,891
'They did you proud.
227
00:13:09,891 --> 00:13:13,771
'Except saying Tutankhamen.
Dylan said Tutan Common.
228
00:13:13,771 --> 00:13:16,931
'Which got a good laugh.
And little Mandy Smith had to
229
00:13:16,931 --> 00:13:20,091
'run out for a wee during
Walking on Sunshine.
230
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:23,851
'Everyone sends their love.
I hope you're OK.
231
00:13:23,851 --> 00:13:28,651
'I know it's not been easy.
Call me, will you?
232
00:13:28,651 --> 00:13:32,571
'Anyway, I hope to see you Monday.
Take care. Bye.
233
00:13:32,571 --> 00:13:34,371
'Aww, he wasn't in...'
234
00:13:34,371 --> 00:13:36,091
'Play message.'
235
00:13:36,091 --> 00:13:38,011
'Hi Tom. It's Stevie...'
236
00:13:38,011 --> 00:13:42,091
'Message deleted.
You have no messages.'
237
00:14:25,771 --> 00:14:27,971
Well, look who it is.
238
00:14:27,971 --> 00:14:31,611
D-day Doris finally
emerges from the bomb shelter.
239
00:14:31,611 --> 00:14:33,091
Oli's changed the title.
240
00:14:33,091 --> 00:14:36,091
To what? Lucy Land Girl.
241
00:14:36,091 --> 00:14:40,291
Much stronger. Can you close the
door, please? It's freezing.
242
00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:42,291
Is it true? What?
243
00:14:42,291 --> 00:14:45,051
Stevie said that you've resigned
from your job? Yeah.
244
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,691
It was a waste of time.
I found it childish.
245
00:14:47,691 --> 00:14:49,331
You were a primary school teacher.
246
00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:52,531
Well, I was. I'm a writer now.
I create things.
247
00:14:52,531 --> 00:14:55,811
Can I open the window, please?
It stinks of pumps.
248
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,611
Shoe pumps or bottom pumps?
249
00:14:57,611 --> 00:14:59,971
Both. Look, you can't just turn up
here after one week
250
00:14:59,971 --> 00:15:01,571
and start running my life for me.
251
00:15:01,571 --> 00:15:04,011
I told you I'd been rehearsing in
Portsmouth all week.
252
00:15:04,011 --> 00:15:05,211
No, you didn't.
253
00:15:05,211 --> 00:15:07,451
Tom, I left you
half a dozen messages.
254
00:15:07,451 --> 00:15:09,251
Well, I lost my phone.
255
00:15:09,251 --> 00:15:10,811
That's not my fault, is it?
256
00:15:12,931 --> 00:15:14,771
Look, I spoke to Stevie,
257
00:15:14,771 --> 00:15:17,131
and he said that if you go in and
speak to Mr Patterson...
258
00:15:17,131 --> 00:15:20,051
I don't want to speak to Mr
Patterson. I don't want to work, OK?
259
00:15:20,051 --> 00:15:22,771
Migg's gone to the dole office to
get the signing on forms.
260
00:15:22,771 --> 00:15:24,931
Migg? You mean the tramp.
261
00:15:24,931 --> 00:15:26,411
He's not a tramp.
262
00:15:26,411 --> 00:15:30,051
Yeah, well he's not now, is he? No.
He's got himself a nice little flat.
263
00:15:30,051 --> 00:15:31,611
He's using you, Tom.
264
00:15:31,611 --> 00:15:34,171
Aww, are you jealous cos he's
nicked your idea?
265
00:15:34,171 --> 00:15:36,811
Ooh, I'm doing pub theatre.
I'm doing Lucy Land Girl.
266
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,291
Haven't got much money this week.
Can I stay over at yours?
267
00:15:39,291 --> 00:15:40,731
Oh, can I borrow 50 quid?
268
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:48,691
Nice.
269
00:15:52,011 --> 00:15:53,811
Fucking hell.
270
00:16:14,331 --> 00:16:17,411
'You have no messages.'
271
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,331
Sorry, what was that?
272
00:16:19,331 --> 00:16:22,251
'You have no messages.'
273
00:16:22,251 --> 00:16:25,291
Oh. No post either.
They on strike, do you think?
274
00:16:25,291 --> 00:16:27,931
'You have no messages.'
275
00:16:27,931 --> 00:16:30,891
Waiting for my Giro to come through.
I'm running out of money.
276
00:16:30,891 --> 00:16:33,011
Oh, have I got any messages?
277
00:16:33,011 --> 00:16:35,211
'You have no messages.'
278
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,851
Yeah, thought not.
279
00:16:44,131 --> 00:16:47,011
It's my birthday today.
Happy birthday.
280
00:16:48,611 --> 00:16:52,291
I didn't get a single card. Ah.
281
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:55,251
Grandma normally sends me one
recorded delivery
282
00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:58,811
three weeks in advance.
Could have done with that tenner.
283
00:17:00,411 --> 00:17:02,531
Maybe it's in the second post.
284
00:17:02,531 --> 00:17:07,851
Everyone's forgotten about me.
I've dropped out of society. Pot, 5.
285
00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:11,251
Have a beer. I don't want one.
286
00:17:13,571 --> 00:17:15,931
Well, why don't you do
the washing up?
287
00:17:17,131 --> 00:17:18,531
I beg your pardon?
288
00:17:18,531 --> 00:17:21,491
If you're so bored. It's been sitting
there for two or three days.
289
00:17:21,491 --> 00:17:25,051
Who's flat is this? I'm only saying.
Well, don't say.
290
00:17:25,051 --> 00:17:28,771
29. I do do it anyway.
With respect, Tom, you don't.
291
00:17:28,771 --> 00:17:30,331
Putting it in some warm water
292
00:17:30,331 --> 00:17:32,811
and leaving it does not constitute
doing the washing up.
293
00:17:32,811 --> 00:17:34,931
It has to soak. Not for a fortnight.
294
00:17:34,931 --> 00:17:38,011
At some stage you should really take
the things out of the mucky,
295
00:17:38,011 --> 00:17:41,051
tea-bag stained water and put them
on the draining board to dry.
296
00:17:41,051 --> 00:17:43,651
That way...
There's no such word as that.
297
00:17:43,651 --> 00:17:46,651
That way, you don't have to start
using your collection of Easter egg
298
00:17:46,651 --> 00:17:49,291
mugs from years back just cos
there's no clean cups left.
299
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:50,851
Well, why don't you do it then?
300
00:17:50,851 --> 00:17:53,371
Or are you still using your little
polystyrene tramp cup?
301
00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:56,291
There's no need for that.
There's every need.
302
00:17:56,291 --> 00:17:58,691
You stank when you first
came in here.
303
00:17:58,691 --> 00:18:01,691
You stank like a dirty
bag of wet washing.
304
00:18:01,691 --> 00:18:04,771
How much washing up did you do then,
Annette fucking Newman?
305
00:18:06,331 --> 00:18:07,851
Don't judge me, Tom.
306
00:18:11,531 --> 00:18:13,211
You have no right to judge me.
307
00:18:21,211 --> 00:18:23,371
La? What's La?
308
00:18:23,371 --> 00:18:25,411
A note to follow So.
309
00:18:25,411 --> 00:18:27,171
Oh, fuck this!
310
00:18:45,331 --> 00:18:48,211
Aww, thank you, Grandma.
311
00:19:12,011 --> 00:19:13,891
Hello?
312
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,131
'Avon calling.
Can you buzz me in?'
313
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:26,491
Tom, what is that? Designer stubble?
314
00:19:26,491 --> 00:19:28,771
What do you want, Stevie?
It's not a good time.
315
00:19:28,771 --> 00:19:31,571
No, I know it's not.
I know it's not.
316
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,371
That's why I come bearing
Krispy Kremes,
317
00:19:34,371 --> 00:19:36,371
and you and I is gonna have a chat.
318
00:19:44,571 --> 00:19:46,171
Life of grime.
319
00:19:48,691 --> 00:19:51,531
So, how are you, Tom?
320
00:19:51,531 --> 00:19:54,891
I haven't seen you in weeks.
Bearing up?
321
00:19:54,891 --> 00:19:56,571
Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right...
322
00:19:56,571 --> 00:20:01,731
Not being a nosy parker, (am), but
how are you getting on for money?
323
00:20:01,731 --> 00:20:04,211
I, I just don't want to
think about it.
324
00:20:04,211 --> 00:20:07,891
Well, a few of us at the school
have had a whip around.
325
00:20:07,891 --> 00:20:11,211
Now not everyone took part.
Naming no names. Linda Price.
326
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,851
And it was up to me
to get you something.
327
00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:16,491
So I thought,
what would he rather have?
328
00:20:16,491 --> 00:20:21,171
Cash, or Body Shop vouchers,
so I got you... Cash.
329
00:20:22,251 --> 00:20:25,371
No. Body Shop vouchers. Oh.
330
00:20:26,811 --> 00:20:30,491
Well, I'll just leave them there.
331
00:20:30,491 --> 00:20:34,051
Don't lose them among debris.
All right.
332
00:20:36,771 --> 00:20:39,811
I'm getting the feeling now you'd
rather have had the cash.
333
00:20:39,811 --> 00:20:41,091
No, it's alright.
334
00:20:41,091 --> 00:20:43,771
I'll be fine once my benefits
start coming through.
335
00:20:43,771 --> 00:20:46,211
In fact, Migg says
I'll probably be better off.
336
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:47,971
Migg? Who's Migg?
337
00:20:47,971 --> 00:20:50,251
He's just a friend.
338
00:20:50,251 --> 00:20:53,011
Oh, I've never heard of him.
Mystic Migg.
339
00:20:54,051 --> 00:20:55,811
What are your plans for tonight?
340
00:20:55,811 --> 00:20:57,491
Uh, nothing.
341
00:20:57,491 --> 00:21:01,291
In that case, why don't you jump in the
shower and I'll take us to Wagamama.
342
00:21:01,291 --> 00:21:04,371
We'll have the chicken-katsu-curry
and fuck the diet. Me, not you.
343
00:21:04,371 --> 00:21:07,491
Yeah, no, I... It's my treat.
344
00:21:07,491 --> 00:21:09,411
I...I don't want to.
345
00:21:10,891 --> 00:21:14,171
Well, I can see you're busy.
346
00:21:17,451 --> 00:21:21,891
Promise me you'll phone if you want
to chat and that. OK. Bye.
347
00:21:21,891 --> 00:21:24,771
And don't forget about those
Body Shop vouchers.
348
00:21:25,931 --> 00:21:27,651
They might come in handy.
349
00:22:14,371 --> 00:22:16,131
Migg?
350
00:22:17,851 --> 00:22:19,451
Gerri?
351
00:22:29,491 --> 00:22:32,771
'Hi, Mr Farris, this is
Brian from Eastway Electricity.
352
00:22:32,771 --> 00:22:36,931
'Just to remind you that as your bill
for £126.15 is still outstanding,
353
00:22:36,931 --> 00:22:39,131
'and as you haven't replied to
any of our messages,
354
00:22:39,131 --> 00:22:42,691
'we will have to terminate the
supply at 1800 hours.'
355
00:22:59,131 --> 00:23:01,011
Shit, what's going on?
356
00:23:02,811 --> 00:23:04,451
Overdone a fuse?
357
00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:06,971
We've been cut off.
358
00:23:06,971 --> 00:23:11,771
Oh, come on, Tom. Have you not paid
the bill or something?
359
00:23:11,771 --> 00:23:17,331
Where's my money, Migg? You said my
Giro would come. It will come.
360
00:23:17,331 --> 00:23:20,411
Just takes a little
bit of time to process.
361
00:23:22,571 --> 00:23:26,091
Maybe I should take over the rent or
the lease or something.
362
00:23:26,091 --> 00:23:29,571
Just till your housing benefit
comes through. How?
363
00:23:29,571 --> 00:23:33,051
Started a new job today.
A new beginning.
364
00:23:33,051 --> 00:23:34,491
What are you doing?
365
00:23:34,491 --> 00:23:36,971
I'm working with
kids on an outreach programme.
366
00:23:36,971 --> 00:23:40,531
It's going to be so rewarding. Here.
367
00:23:40,531 --> 00:23:42,171
Take this.
368
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:45,451
Oh, no. This is too much.
369
00:23:45,451 --> 00:23:48,971
I'd like you to have it.
You've done so much for me.
370
00:23:51,011 --> 00:23:55,051
Ah, you're running me a bath?
How thoughtful.
371
00:23:57,531 --> 00:23:58,851
Thanks, Tom.
372
00:24:05,691 --> 00:24:10,211
Tom. What are you doing
sitting in the dark?
373
00:24:11,331 --> 00:24:12,811
We've been cut off.
374
00:24:12,811 --> 00:24:17,611
I'm so sorry, Gerri. I miss you
so much. Everything's going wrong.
375
00:24:17,611 --> 00:24:19,691
You can't carry on like this, Tom.
376
00:24:19,691 --> 00:24:22,851
I know. Please don't leave me.
I'm not going anywhere.
377
00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:28,531
You need to sort your head out.
You're just in a slump. I know.
378
00:24:28,531 --> 00:24:31,291
Migg says I'll be alright once my
benefits start coming through
379
00:24:31,291 --> 00:24:33,371
and then I can get back
to my writing... Tom.
380
00:24:33,371 --> 00:24:36,251
And maybe I could write a play for
you to be in, and Migg says...
381
00:24:36,251 --> 00:24:38,251
Tom, there is no Migg.
382
00:24:40,971 --> 00:24:42,451
What?
383
00:24:42,451 --> 00:24:45,931
Look around you.
There's nobody else here.
384
00:24:45,931 --> 00:24:48,691
Where are his things?
I threw them out.
385
00:24:48,691 --> 00:24:53,011
Tom. Migg doesn't exist.
It's just you.
386
00:24:53,011 --> 00:24:55,851
You've invented him to cope with
what's been happening.
387
00:24:55,851 --> 00:24:57,291
No, I haven't.
388
00:24:57,291 --> 00:25:00,011
Where is he then? Show him to me.
389
00:25:03,371 --> 00:25:04,971
He's in the bathroom.
390
00:25:20,251 --> 00:25:22,091
Migg.
391
00:25:22,091 --> 00:25:23,331
Migg.
392
00:25:23,331 --> 00:25:27,971
See, Tom, you've been
depressed for a long, long time.
393
00:25:27,971 --> 00:25:31,851
You just wanted to give yourself
an excuse to leave your job,
394
00:25:31,851 --> 00:25:34,811
start drinking,
drop out of this life you hated.
395
00:25:34,811 --> 00:25:37,131
I don't...
You're not Charles Bukowski.
396
00:25:38,571 --> 00:25:44,131
You're just a primary school teacher
who had a nervous breakdown.
397
00:25:44,131 --> 00:25:48,171
I've got to go. I've got to put my
hair in a bun for D-Day Doris.
398
00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:51,491
I thought it was Lucy Land Girl.
We changed it back.
399
00:25:53,331 --> 00:25:57,491
We'll get through this, Tom.
You just have to be strong.
400
00:25:57,491 --> 00:25:59,891
But Migg... No.
401
00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:03,531
Get this Migg out of your head
once and for all.
402
00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:06,251
Love you.
403
00:26:15,931 --> 00:26:17,931
Everything all right, Tom?
404
00:26:26,451 --> 00:26:30,251
And instead of saying bombs,
barrage, balloons and black-outs,
405
00:26:30,251 --> 00:26:35,491
I came out with bombs,
black-out balloons and barrages.
406
00:26:35,491 --> 00:26:38,731
I don't know where it came from.
Tim just looked at me.
407
00:26:38,731 --> 00:26:40,531
I could tell he was gonna go.
408
00:26:44,411 --> 00:26:48,091
Well, this is a transformation.
You look like a new man.
409
00:26:48,091 --> 00:26:50,091
Well, I've got you to
thank for that.
410
00:26:50,091 --> 00:26:52,131
I don't know what I'd
do without you.
411
00:26:56,891 --> 00:26:58,491
Who's that?
412
00:27:02,091 --> 00:27:03,571
Hello.
413
00:27:03,571 --> 00:27:04,691
'Hi, it's Stevie.'
414
00:27:04,691 --> 00:27:06,291
Come up.
415
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:07,451
Stevie.
416
00:27:09,411 --> 00:27:11,091
Hello, stranger.
417
00:27:11,091 --> 00:27:14,291
I'm on a Costa run for my builders
so I thought I'd just scooch around.
418
00:27:14,291 --> 00:27:16,971
You're looking well. Yeah, well.
Feel a lot better, thanks.
419
00:27:16,971 --> 00:27:19,771
That Worzel Gummidge look was
doing you no favours.
420
00:27:19,771 --> 00:27:21,971
Now we are all missing you still.
421
00:27:21,971 --> 00:27:24,051
They've got that awful
supply teacher in.
422
00:27:24,051 --> 00:27:26,011
You know, the one who can't
say her S's.
423
00:27:26,011 --> 00:27:27,291
Thwit up thwaight.
424
00:27:27,291 --> 00:27:29,651
That's the one. We're hoping you
might reconsider.
425
00:27:29,651 --> 00:27:32,091
I just...I need a bit more time.
426
00:27:32,091 --> 00:27:33,971
I know you've been through a lot.
427
00:27:33,971 --> 00:27:37,251
I'm being nosey, but it might do you
good to get back to work.
428
00:27:37,251 --> 00:27:39,531
Well, that's what Gerri's been
telling me. Ah.
429
00:27:39,531 --> 00:27:42,891
Come through anyway. I'll tell her
you're here. Gerri.
430
00:27:44,331 --> 00:27:46,531
Gerri! Where's she gone?
431
00:27:46,531 --> 00:27:48,851
Stevie's here.
432
00:27:48,851 --> 00:27:50,531
Tom...
433
00:27:50,531 --> 00:27:51,811
She was just here.
434
00:27:54,211 --> 00:27:59,211
Gerri died, Tom.
Remember? In the car accident.
435
00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:02,891
No, no, but I was only just talking
to her a second ago.
436
00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:05,451
We all said you came back
to work too soon.
437
00:28:06,891 --> 00:28:11,171
I know you loved her very much, but
it's time to let her go, Tom.
438
00:28:13,811 --> 00:28:16,411
She saved me.
She saved me from Migg.
439
00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,011
I'll get your tablet.
440
00:28:23,811 --> 00:28:25,331
Tom!
441
00:28:28,451 --> 00:28:30,931
Oh, my God.
442
00:28:30,931 --> 00:28:32,451
What have you done?
443
00:28:35,971 --> 00:28:40,331
Oh, that's just Migg. He's not real.
444
00:28:40,331 --> 00:28:41,571
Come and have a coffee.
445
00:28:41,571 --> 00:28:44,211
Gerri's just putting the kettle on.
446
00:28:57,308 --> 00:29:23,860
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