1
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,645
What's going on? Who are you?
2
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,004
Oh, for God's sake! You scared
the living crap out of me then!
3
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,969
- Jesus!
- You all right?
4
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,448
Oh, I just need to sit down
for a second.
5
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,165
Oh, shit!
6
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,126
- Oh!
- Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.
7
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,406
That's all right.
8
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:26,970
Oh, you've haven't got a towel,
have you?
9
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,451
Urn, yes.
10
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,049
Thanks. It's wetter than
a nun's cucumber out there tonight.
11
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,205
Thanks.
12
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,566
Can you, Um,
13
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,927
-can you put the gun down, please?
-of course.
14
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,161
It's not loaded.
15
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,722
It was just a prop from a student
production of The Seagull.
16
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,801
Can I ask what
you're doing in my rooms?
17
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,609
I presume you didn't
break in for a towel.
18
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,489
Well, I didn't break in.
19
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,125
Well, not technically.
20
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,850
My boyfriend told me that all professors
21
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,251
keep a key above their glory hole,
22
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,163
so I, sort of, just let myself in.
23
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,364
It was a stupid thing to do, I'm...
24
00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,488
- I'm so sorry.
- And you are?
25
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:01,926
Nina.
26
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,411
Nina Noonah.
27
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,811
Nina Noonah.
28
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,491
Well, not really, obviously,
29
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,528
but I don't wanna get in any trouble.
30
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,605
You're not gonna call the police,
are you?
31
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:16,207
It's all right, Miss Noonah,
my bark is worse than my bite.
32
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,850
Just tell me why you're here.
33
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,602
It's just Simon, my boyfriend,
34
00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:22,011
he studies at King's College
35
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,447
and he's properly clever.
36
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,284
He's got a bike and scarf
37
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,840
and all the Harry Potter shit
38
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,287
and he's sort of obsessed
with doing the crossword.
39
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,285
And I don't mean the quick ones you get
40
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,567
with a picture of Vanessa Feltz in
the middle in Chat Magazine.
41
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,642
I mean the cryptic.
42
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:38,881
I see.
43
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,368
And I try to help him sometimes and I,
44
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,363
I look at the clues
and I feel like such a div
45
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,442
cos I can't make head nor tale of them.
46
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,124
They may as well be written in Chinese.
47
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,850
In Mandarin, yes.
48
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,849
And you're a student, also?
49
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,206
Oh, God, no.
50
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,647
No. I work at Greggs.
51
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,485
I'm what you call, um,
emotionally intelligent.
52
00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,365
Ah, well, sadly that won't
help you with the cryptic.
53
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,001
Sorry.
54
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,250
Yeah, tell me about it.
55
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,800
Anyway, Simon reckons
you're the Sphinx or something.
56
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,609
Do you write the crossword
in the student paper?
57
00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,091
That's correct!
58
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,810
Crossword setters traditionally use
59
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,848
a pseudonym, a made-up name.
60
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,809
- What, like Nina Noonah?
- Yes.
61
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,450
And I am known as
62
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:18,921
The Sphinx.
63
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,764
It's not exactly a secret,
especially here on campus.
64
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,968
Anyway, I just thought
that if I could maybe
65
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,804
see the answers to this week's crossword
66
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,484
then I could sit with Simon and be like,
67
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,086
"Oh, 18 down, do you think that's
68
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,811
"parachute"? And he'd be like, "Yeah,
69
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,328
"wow, you're so clever" and...
70
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,650
It was only meant to be a joke.
I'm really sorry.
71
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,609
No, no, no. I quite understand.
72
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,367
We all crave approbation on some level.
73
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,521
Tell me, what does
your boyfriend study, Miss Noonah?
74
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,286
Architecture.
75
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,805
Architecture.
76
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,644
Well, I teach.
77
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,560
Yeah, I know.
I didn't think you were a student.
78
00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,085
Simon says you teach classics.
79
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,525
Is that like Gone with the Wind
80
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:01,761
and Pretty Woman and that?
81
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,003
I teach wild creature
without hospital building.
82
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,406
- Sorry, what?
- I teach
83
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,448
wild creature
84
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,001
without hospital building.
85
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,123
- Twelve letters.
- Oh,
86
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,168
it's a clue!
87
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,049
Yes. Not a very good one,
88
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,963
I admit, since you put me on the spot.
89
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:31,088
So, a cryptic clue always offers up
two means of solution.
90
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,641
The beginning or the end of the sentence
91
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,688
gives you the definition of the word.
92
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,286
Much as you might get in
a standard vanilla crossword.
93
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,847
And the rest of
the clue is the word play,
94
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,490
if you like, which is a kind of riddle.
95
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,846
Like on Catchphrase?
96
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,922
Yes, in a manner of speaking.
97
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,606
So, here we have
a 12-letter word meaning
98
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,728
"I teach" or "building".
99
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,006
Now here, we have the word "wild"
100
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,924
which is what we refer
to as an anagram indicator.
101
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,606
It suggests the letters can
bejumbled up and rearranged,
102
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,728
so, anything such as "upset",
103
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,201
-"excited", "insane"...
-"Mashed-up".
104
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,523
- Yes, if you like.
-"Wankered".
105
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,085
That type of thing.
106
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,561
It's telling us to mix up the letters.
107
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,722
So, if we take the words "I teach"
108
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,610
and "creature" and make them "wild"
109
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,330
we might come up with a solution.
110
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,482
Okay, but that's too many letters.
111
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,686
Yes, very good.
112
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,001
We're two letters over.
So, we look here,
113
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,003
"without hospital."
114
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,762
Now, in terms of letters
what could hospital be?
115
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,487
H?
116
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,961
Yeah, but we need
two letters, remember.
117
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,690
If you were to have an accident,
118
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,683
if I'd shot you here in the dark...
119
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,331
What, with an empty gun? Good luck.
120
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,324
But if I had, you'd head straight
for which department?
121
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,970
- A&E?
- Excellent!
122
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,610
So, if we remove A and E
123
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,125
from "creature", i.e.,
124
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,168
"creature without hospital"
125
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,163
and mix it up with "I teach"
126
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,322
then we get an anagram of 12 letters
127
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,562
meaning "building" which is...
128
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:55,801
Sorry, what?
129
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,522
"Architectu re!"
130
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,241
See?
131
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,446
Not so hard, was it?
132
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,170
Is that in this week's crossword then?
133
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,811
No, no, no.
I haven't parsed it properly.
134
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,089
I buried the anagram indicator
in the fodder, but,
135
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,764
it was simply an illustration.
136
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,808
What, Pictionary? You can draw it?
137
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,846
No.
138
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,446
No, I was...
139
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,924
I was just showing off.
140
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,169
Trying to give you some insight.
141
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,091
I'm sorry.
142
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,569
Okay, then, Professor.
143
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,330
Sorry I woke you.
144
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,170
It's Nigel.
145
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,126
Nina.
146
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,200
Night.
147
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,361
If you like, I can
148
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,488
show you the clues to
tomorrow's crossword.
149
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,289
See if any of them make sense.
150
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,691
You'd teach me?
151
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:49,841
Yes.
152
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,082
"I teach wild creature?"
153
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,322
It's not quite Pygmalion, but
154
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,482
I can give you some pointers.
155
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,166
Here.
156
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,321
Have a look.
157
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,687
The answers all go in this grid.
158
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,170
Have a look at one across.
159
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,651
And I'll make us some tea.
160
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,763
"To wound and wander destitute.
161
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,171
"4' 3' 3-"
162
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,242
So, is this another nanagram?
163
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,810
Mm m, possibly.
164
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,611
Look for a verb or an adjective
that suggests movement.
165
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,001
-"Wander"?
- Bingo!
166
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,523
So, how many of these have you done?
167
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,762
Crosswords? Four or five hundred.
168
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,171
Wow!
169
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,368
You must have a very devious mind.
170
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:45,771
It has been said.
171
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,568
The Sphinx is a mythical creature
172
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:49,846
of Greek legend.
173
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,007
A woman's head on a lion's body.
174
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,570
She guarded the gates
of the ancient city of Thebes,
175
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,804
and any traveller
wishing to pass through
176
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,405
had first to solve her riddle.
177
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,687
If they failed the test
she would kill them
178
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,240
by means of asphyxiation and then
179
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,923
eat the remains.
180
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,285
No pressure then.
181
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,369
She was devious and deadly,
182
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,962
perfect for a cryptic crossword setter.
183
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,331
"Down and out" meaning "destitute".
184
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,131
Excellent! "By Jove, she's got it!"
185
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,486
Well, put it up on the grid.
186
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,369
Is that what all the cups are for?
187
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,885
- Sorry?
- In the cabinet.
188
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,930
Ah, yes,
The Cambridge Cruciverbalist Club,
189
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:39,644
the CCC.
190
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,485
Much like the KKK
only slightly less benevolent.
191
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:43,925
Oh, is this,
192
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,240
is this your wife?
193
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,526
Monica, yes.
194
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,285
Does she do the crossword?
195
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,010
She did. She died last year.
196
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:51,965
Oh, sorry.
197
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,447
- Did you have kids?
- No, no.
198
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,288
"There is no more sombre
enemy of good art
199
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,408
"than the pram in the hall."
200
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,482
Well, you've certainly won a lot.
201
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,925
It's not exactly
the boat race, though, is it?
202
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,451
How'd you mean?
203
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:10,241
Well, you can't beat someone
at a crossword, can you?
204
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,402
I don't know, competitive
solving can be quite
205
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,289
combative, believe me.
206
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,771
Blood has been spilt,
207
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,650
metaphorically, of course.
208
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,684
What's black and white and red all over?
209
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,649
The Cambridge Crossword Competition.
210
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,730
Or a nun chewing a razor blade.
211
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,565
Or a penguin with sunburn.
212
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,802
Oh, I've got one.
But it's quite rude, though.
213
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,611
I teach Catullus, dear,
I'm hardly a prude.
214
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,685
What's long and hard and full of semen?
215
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,649
A submarine.
216
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,006
Very good.
217
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,287
And what's pink
and hard in the mornings?
218
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,771
- The...
- A cock?
219
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,444
...Financial Times crossword.
220
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,327
Have a look at two down.
221
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,690
"This cover sounds like a 50 Cent song."
222
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,683
Is that like a cover version?
223
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,967
"Sounds like" indicates a homophone.
224
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,286
Do you know what a homophone is?
225
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,442
Is it an app for gays like Grindr?
226
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,208
No, it's two words
227
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,362
which sound the same
but which are spelt differently.
228
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,204
Like "their" and "there".
229
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,647
- Where?
- Think of a four-letter word meaning
230
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,167
"to cover" which sounds
like a type of song.
231
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,890
Beginning with W.
232
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,725
- Wrap!
- Correct!
233
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,765
That's two in two minutes!
234
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,525
You'll be challenging
for the cup before long.
235
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,247
And of course, one down,
236
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,527
Indian national product of
French-Italian agreement
237
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,921
is simply "of" in French
238
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,128
followed by an Italian
form of agreement,
239
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,522
making "Desi", a person from India.
240
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,087
Why do you use such difficult words?
241
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,287
Every word is chosen
for its letters, Nina.
242
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,924
For example, have a look
243
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,684
at 18 across.
244
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,046
"Eighteen across.
245
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,124
"Tory leader on board
for English flower."
246
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,726
So, that's a five-letter word
for Tory leader.
247
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,126
Or...
248
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,365
English flower?
249
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,410
- Poppy?
250
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,448
- Daisy!
- Don't guess,
251
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,648
Nina dear. Deduct,
252
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,041
and don't take anything for granted.
253
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,240
Now,
254
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,609
what could Tory leader be?
255
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,805
- Boris?
- No.
256
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,325
Look at the word!
257
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,244
T!
- That's right!
258
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,163
The leader of Tory is T.
259
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,489
So, put T onto a four-letter
word for "board"...
260
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,329
- Plank!
- Yea h, four letters.
261
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,640
Wood. Tweed'.!
262
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,802
A board has more than
one meaning, remember.
263
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,930
- Fed-up?
- No.
264
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,286
Cardboard? Snowboard?
265
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:44,771
What kind of board do you pay?
266
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,171
The exam board!
267
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,685
No, rent!
268
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,683
- You pay to board somewhere.
- Oh.
269
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,882
So put Tory leader "T" onto "rent"
270
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,530
-it gives you...
-"Trent!"
271
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,809
- But that, that's not a flower.
- Ah,
272
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,684
who said it was a flower?
273
00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,251
- You did!
- Ah, no.
274
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,890
You said flower.
275
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,689
What I actually wrote was
276
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,530
"flow-er."
277
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,967
Something that flows. In this instance
278
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,804
an English river called
279
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,201
the Trent.
280
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,328
Oh, my God, that is,
281
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,731
that's so clever.
282
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,328
I knew you were devious!
283
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,004
It's very satisfying, isn't it?
284
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,411
It is.
285
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,568
So, um, your boyfriend
286
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,847
is reading architecture
at King's, is that correct?
287
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,002
- Yeah.
- Is he studying under
288
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,320
Pugh or Fairbrother?
289
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,686
Uh, the first one.
290
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,129
And how's he getting on with old Pugh?
291
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,806
He likes him.
292
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,050
Gladys Pugh.
293
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,205
He likes her.
294
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,124
You do realise that
Pugh and Fairbrother are
295
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,124
characters from
the comedy series Hi-a'e-Hi?
296
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,242
I've, er, I've not seen it.
297
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,364
Well, lucky you.
298
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,362
So, Simon, if that's his real name,
299
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,204
isn't a student, at all.
300
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,926
He's a "muggle" just like you.
301
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,724
Why did you lie?
302
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,325
Cos I didn't think
303
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,368
you'd take me seriously otherwise.
304
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,008
Does he work in Greggs also?
305
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,328
Don't patronise me, Professor.
306
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,004
I only wanna learn.
307
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,251
Of course.
308
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,085
Nine across.
309
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,608
"Degas evacuated and bathed
310
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,648
"before putting big picture in bog".
311
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,724
Oh, for fuck's sake!
312
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,650
Patience, Nina dear.
313
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,609
Now, "Degas evacuated,"
314
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,523
if you evacuate something
you clear it out,
315
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,170
so, we remove the middle letters
316
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,481
to leave " DS". With me?
317
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,490
"Bathed" is another word for swam,
318
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,847
so, "bathed before" means we put "swam"
319
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,287
in front of "DS".
320
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,605
And "putting big picture in".
321
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,842
We need to insert another
word for a "big picture",
322
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,888
-a grand scheme, a...
- Plan.
323
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,530
"Plan", precisely! So we put
324
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,490
plan between "swam" and "DS" to make
325
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,291
"swamplands" meaning "bog". Yes? Yes.
326
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,886
- Well, shouldn't it be "bogs"?
- Not necessarily.
327
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:05,810
Well, cos you said it has to be precise.
328
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,281
Yes, it is precise. Not a word wasted.
329
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,521
Otherwise you'd be cheating,
wouldn't you?
330
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,568
I never cheat. Never!
331
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,041
Have... Have something to drink.
332
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,809
Let's, let's have a bash at
333
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,451
3 down, shall we? That should be easy.
334
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,723
"A disturbed setter
concealed a tiny amount?
335
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,326
"Why, it's enough to take
one's breath away."
336
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,571
Hmm, well,
337
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,325
the crossword setter is you, so,
338
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,209
have you concealed a tiny amount,
339
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,805
Mr Sphinx?
340
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,730
Maybe, so, it's
341
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,362
"A" followed by
342
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,727
an anagram of "Sphinx".
343
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,607
And "tiny amount" is
344
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,885
"IOTA", which is
345
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,769
also the ninth letter
of the Greek alphabet,
346
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,808
which I'm sure you know,
Professor Squires.
347
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,405
And "why?"
348
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,687
is a homophone of the letter "Y",
349
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:05,846
meaning
350
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,131
to take one's breath away.
351
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,648
It's rather prescient, don't you think?
352
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,808
I spotted it as soon as I saw the clues.
353
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,645
Some fairly easy ones
this week, I thought.
354
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,881
A little bit vanilla
355
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,691
for King of
the Cambridge Cruciverbalists.
356
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,571
"Dickens character undertakes
to be a cabinet maker."
357
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,371
Well, that's obviously
"Sowerberry" from Oliver Twist.
358
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,126
You'll be needing his
services before long.
359
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,206
"Some smart-aleck, no wit allegedly."
360
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,800
"Know it all."
361
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,648
But you don't know it all, do you, Prof?
362
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,445
You didn't know, for example,
363
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,602
that I study Marine Biology.
364
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,808
And what's the porpoise
of that, you might ask.
365
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:47,961
Well, for one,
366
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,122
I could get my hands
on some tetrodotoxin
367
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,850
from the liver of a puffer fish.
368
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:52,967
Highly toxic,
369
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,929
as all the best sushi chefs know,
370
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,126
and if consumed,
371
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,601
in say, a cup of tea,
372
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,287
could lead to the gradual paralysis
373
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,170
of the internal organs,
starting with the diaphragm.
374
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,408
Resulting in respiratory failure
375
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,448
and death by three down.
376
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,330
The asphyxiation of the Sphinx.
377
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,889
Simon was my brother.
378
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,008
He got to the final
of the crossword competition
379
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,684
six years ago.
380
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,091
And he won,
381
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,011
he beat you fair and square!
382
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,523
But you challenged him on a word.
383
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:31,281
Do you remember? "Auteur",
saying the first U looked more like a V.
384
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,850
And the committee found in your favour.
385
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,287
The old boys' network
looking after their own
386
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,362
and Simon was disqualified.
387
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,091
Do you know what he did?
388
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,490
Do you, you pathetic old man?
389
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,011
He went to his room
390
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,650
and took off his belt
391
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,563
and hung himself.
392
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,048
I'm afraid that's incorrect,
Miss Noonah.
393
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,009
Pictures can be hung, people are hanged.
394
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,401
He "hanged" himself
is the correct conjugation
395
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,289
for which, of course, you
have my deepest sympathy.
396
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,283
What the fuck?
You're supposed to be dead.
397
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,600
On the contrary,
398
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,250
I am very much alive.
399
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,451
It's you who are dead.
400
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,125
Will you permit me?
401
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,122
Twenty-two down, "What is
a frankfurter's number one bun?
402
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,565
"Don't start!" Well,
403
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,246
if we don't start "one" or "bun"
404
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,288
we get "neun", which is a number
405
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,964
if you happen to come from Frankfurt.
406
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,530
And twenty-three down,
407
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:24,931
"The origins of a Species
408
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,241
"popularised savage serpents".
409
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,482
Origins telling us
to take the first letters of
410
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,723
"A species popularised savage",
411
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,370
giving us the serpents.
412
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:35,601
So?
413
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,046
So, there it is,
414
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,089
hiding in plain sight.
415
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,086
I...
416
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,410
...swapped...
417
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:46,926
...cups.
418
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,643
Very prescient as you say, but,
419
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,371
the individual's urge for
self-preservation is a strong one.
420
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,046
- You bastard!
- Oh, please.
421
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,681
No unnecessary violence.
422
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,165
It's me.
423
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,763
Yes, she is.
Your services will soon be required.
424
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,124
That was Dr Tyler,
425
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,851
your personal tutor and confidant.
426
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,128
He's on his way over now
with the vaccine.
427
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,641
- He told you?
- Yes.
428
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,690
He, he wouldn't do that.
429
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,331
Oh, I'm afraid he felt it was his duty.
430
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,611
A brilliant student midway
through a master's degree
431
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,489
in Marine Biology, but driven
432
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,881
by a dark desire for revenge.
433
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,203
You needed his expertise to extract
434
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,884
the poison from the po/ssan
435
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,850
and he came straight 'round to tell me.
436
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,804
We go back a long way, Tyler and I.
437
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,810
Here, let me help you.
438
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,801
Oh.
Why, why didn't you call the police?
439
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,770
- Sorry, what was that?
- Why didn't you call the police?
440
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:07,731
Well, why call the police,
441
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,485
when we can have a little bit
of fun with the crossword?
442
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,570
It's these kinds of challenges
that keep one's mind active.
443
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,961
Let's have a crack at five down.
444
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,322
"Knocked back beer and wine,
445
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,721
"then put on one French undergarment."
446
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,488
AW thoughts? Hmm?
447
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,689
Well, "knocked back" is telling us
448
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,366
to write something in reverse.
449
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,922
In this instance,
a type of beer, "Pils",
450
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,886
and a type of wine, "red".
451
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,645
Then, if we put on "one" in French
which is "un",
452
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,609
we get our undergarment.
453
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,120
See?
454
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,608
"Un-der-slip."
455
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,046
Do young women still
wear underslips, I wonder?
456
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,969
I always found it quite sexy,
457
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,687
having an extra layer to tackle.
458
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,966
Made the game
rather more interesting.
459
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,366
Mmm.
460
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,563
Now, if you'll excuse me,
461
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,051
nature calls.
462
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,605
Chaflotte,
463
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,889
you hang on in there, okay?
464
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,731
Won't be long now.
465
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,928
Ooh, crossword.
466
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,282
"I hear American poet solved the riddle
467
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,522
"of the pseudo hotel patron."
468
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,648
The American poet is Edgar Guest,
469
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,404
Mr E Guest.
470
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,960
A riddle solved is a mystery guessed
471
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,880
and a pseudo hotel patron is a...
472
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,644
"Mystery Quest-n
473
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,524
Very clever.
474
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,331
Where have you been?
You said you'd be waiting outside.
475
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,284
I had to go via my office,
476
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,204
to pick up some things.
477
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,922
A bit bloody dangerous leaving me
alone with a girl in this condition.
478
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,009
It was all I could
do not to slip her one.
479
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,367
Oh, no, I don't think
that would be appropriate.
480
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,851
I'm a red-blooded mammal, Tyler,
481
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,331
not like those bloody molluscs
482
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,004
you spend half your time with.
483
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,088
She's still breathing, I take it?
484
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,406
Yes.
485
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,925
The body can survive in this state
486
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,729
for up to six hours.
487
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,802
She can still see and feel
488
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,405
and hear everything, shejust
489
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,171
can't move.
490
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,845
- It's horrible.
- Yes,
491
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,365
well, let's not feel too sorry for her.
492
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,920
That's what she wanted
to do to me, remember?
493
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,086
Well, go on, then.
494
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,286
Sorry?
495
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,885
Give her the antidote.
496
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,884
Oh, there is no antidote.
497
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,730
- What?
- For tetrodotoxin poisoning.
498
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,325
She needs her stomach pumped,
499
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,323
some aggressive airway management
500
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,004
and an intravenous drip
as soon as possible
501
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,367
otherwise she'll be
dead within half an hour.
502
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,489
But, but you said six hours!
503
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,164
Only with hospital treatment.
504
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:19,686
Shit!
505
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,489
Right, well, let's do it then.
506
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,251
No.
507
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,808
There's something
I want you to do first.
508
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,125
Is that going in this week's Varsity?
509
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:30,440
What?
510
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,329
- The crossword?
- Yes.
511
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,565
But, what, what's going on?
512
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:35,926
What are you doing?
513
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,647
I want you to eat her.
514
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,690
Not all of her, of course.
515
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,650
Just a sliver.
just enough that you can say you
516
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,410
devoured your victim.
517
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:49,571
Jacob, what...
518
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,724
Have you lost your mind?
519
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,966
When the Sphinx posed
her riddle to the Thebans,
520
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,201
she strangled and ate
521
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,009
anyone who failed to answer correctly.
522
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,970
That's right, isn't it,
I haven't misremembered it?
523
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,211
- Yes.
- What was the riddle again?
524
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,360
I won't do this, Jacob.
525
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,171
"What creature walks
on four legs in the morning,
526
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,002
"two at noon and three in the evening?"
527
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,971
It's like something out
of a Christmas cracker
528
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,883
rather than a Greek tragedy, isn't it?
529
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:19,451
And, it was Oedipus who
530
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,568
gave the correct answer, "man".
531
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,282
He crawls as a baby,
then walks on two legs,
532
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,761
before needing a stick in his old age.
533
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,402
A bit like you, Nigel.
534
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:33,846
So,
535
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,164
do you prefer leg or breast?
536
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,765
Right, that's it,
I'm calling the police.
537
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,444
Oh, and tell them what exactly?
538
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,722
That you're the victim
of a student prank?
539
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,844
In 25 minutes you'll have a dead girl
540
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,729
in your rooms
in the middle of the night.
541
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,280
You found out who she was,
she threatened you, so you killed her.
542
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,601
No, I'll tell them the truth.
543
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,170
I'll say it was an accident.
544
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:54,969
Well, then, how do you explain this?
545
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,888
You compiled this
crossword two days ago.
546
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,568
It proves premeditation.
547
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,211
The "know it all"
548
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,009
received a "mystery guest"
549
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,366
at number "nine"
550
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:06,805
and before long
551
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,450
there's an "asphyxiation".
552
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,206
What's seven down?
553
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,009
"Catch a train before a poisonous bite?"
554
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,161
Well, "catch"
555
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,686
usually stands for fish,
I know that much.
556
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,763
"A train before" could be
557
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:18,966
"puffer".
558
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,326
So, yeah,
559
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:22,926
"Puffer
560
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:24,725
"fish".
561
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,087
You even concealed the murder weapon.
562
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,410
I knew you wouldn't be able to resist.
563
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,131
This was just a bit of fun,
I was trying to teach the girl!
564
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,362
You're publishing this
in the student paper
565
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,250
for everyone to see.
It's classic psychopathic behaviour.
566
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,164
Tomorrow morning, it'll be in
every cubby hole in Cambridge
567
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,208
and on the inside back page
568
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:44,930
is your confession.
569
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,289
And when a "Down and out"
570
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,249
finds the girl "wrapped"
571
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:50,970
in her "under slip"
572
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,769
floating in the "swamplands".
573
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,810
Well, the police won't have to look
very far for the culprit, will they?
574
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,087
- That isn't what happened!
- No, but it could do.
575
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,083
Little drive out to the Fens,
acquaint our
576
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,562
brilliant student with some of
the marine life she loves so much.
577
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,411
You see, you're not
in charge of this situation.
578
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,171
You can't fit it all neatly
579
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,004
into a fifteen-squared grid.
580
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:11,606
This is messy
581
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,887
and illogical and out of control.
582
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,769
This is my revenge, Nigel.
583
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,080
So, sit down
584
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,208
whilst I prepare your food.
585
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,762
But she's your student, for God's sake!
586
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,402
I think I'll take a bit off the rump.
587
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,368
Why don't you tell Nina the story?
588
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,690
I bet she'd like to hear it.
589
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,211
Keep her mind active
590
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,123
as her body seizes up.
591
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:14,931
Jacob and I were
592
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,606
students here,
593
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,685
almost thirty years ago.
594
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,528
We roomed together for a while,
595
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,005
and then he met Monica,
596
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,011
a physicist from Keble.
597
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,605
They were madly in love.
598
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,688
They were madly in love. They...
599
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,930
...married, they even
had two children, twins.
600
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,525
But, Monica and I...
601
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,000
We began an affair.
602
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,406
I didn't mean for it
to end up the way it did!
603
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,810
I was about to begin my doctorate,
604
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,450
which probably would have led to
605
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,681
a teaching post,
606
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,922
a room of my own,
very much like this one.
607
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:50,766
But, instead, I...
608
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:52,766
...divorced my wife,
609
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,891
took my babies away
610
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,851
to bring them up by myself
611
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,365
in the Brecon Beacons.
612
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,962
Here. I haven't seasoned it.
613
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,122
I didn't want to take away from the...
614
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,250
...natural flavour.
615
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,685
Jacob, this is,
616
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,925
this is preposterous!
617
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,371
Eat it
618
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,889
or else I let the girl die
619
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,928
and you rot in prison.
620
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,603
It tastes like chicken, apparently,
621
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,690
but then, doesn't everything?
622
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,804
And so, the mighty Sphinx
623
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,567
consumes the flesh of his conquest.
624
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,485
I always hated cryptic crosswords.
625
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,805
Why can't people just say
what they mean rather than
626
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,370
trying to trick you all the time?
627
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,764
It's when my son started getting
into them, I wasn't happy.
628
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,842
He became obsessed with
entering the stupid
629
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,968
Cambridge Crossword competition.
630
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,241
Perhaps he thought he could
631
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,129
re-earn his mother's love by
632
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,762
beating her new husband, I don't know.
633
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,288
Simon was your son?
634
00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:29,647
He entered the competition
under a pseudonym,
635
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:31,765
you knew him as Rex.
636
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,002
After "Oedipus Rex",
the play by Sophocles.
637
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,204
But you cheated him out of his victory.
638
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:37,611
But that means...
639
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:42,002
Charlotte and I,
we hatched our revenge plan, didn't we?
640
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,683
We said we would bring down
that cheating Professor Squires
641
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,484
if it was the last thing we did.
642
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,125
And it may well be,
643
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,731
at least for her.
644
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,888
- She's your daughter.
- Mmm.
645
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,450
It's crazy, isn't it, what
the unhinged mind is capable of.
646
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:00,844
But she came here tonight to kill me,
647
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:01,921
to poison me.
648
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,331
That was the plan.
649
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,848
So, why did you tell me about it?
650
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,570
Just so I'd do the crossword?
651
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,962
Pretty much, yes, I needed leverage.
652
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,731
You sacrificed your only
daughterjust to get at me?
653
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:18,040
Well,
654
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,565
that's the thing, you see.
655
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,522
When Simon died, there was an autopsy.
656
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,764
Quite a thorough investigation.
657
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,407
It turns out they're not my kids.
658
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,724
They're yours.
659
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,484
I always suspected that affair started
660
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:34,721
before you said it did.
661
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,165
Oh, God!
662
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,165
So, there I was.
663
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,769
I'd given up everything.
664
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:43,611
My wife,
665
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,368
my home, my job,
666
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,091
my entire life.
667
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,290
All for a lie.
668
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,165
So, I'm sure you understand, Nigel,
669
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,129
why I had to seek my revenge.
670
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,603
Help me get her to a hospital, please!
671
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,523
Oh, I think we're past that now.
672
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,482
You just enjoy the time
you have left together.
673
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,566
A little present for you there, Nigel.
674
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:08,725
You know what Anton said.
675
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,565
"Never show a gun in act one
676
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,881
"if you're not going
to fire it by act five."
677
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,164
Otherwise people feel cheated.
678
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,088
Isn't your middle name Hector,
by the way?
679
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:27,880
Yes.
680
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,685
How funny.