1 00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:05,881 Previously on The Affair... 2 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,299 I don't want to have to pay the rent by myself every month. 3 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,135 Let's just go get married at city hall tonight. 4 00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,970 I want a wedding, at my grandparents' house. 5 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,931 Whitney, this marriage thing, 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,307 you don't have to do it, you know. 7 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,225 But, actually, Dad, I do, because if I don't, 8 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:18,560 then Colin has to leave the country. 9 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:22,397 I'm desperate for a date to my opening tomorrow. 10 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,733 - Dashiell Boucicault. ‐ Hi. 11 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,818 He likes to watch. 12 00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:29,738 He could give you a gallery. 13 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:30,864 ‐ I'm married. ‐Thank you 14 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:32,407 for finally telling me. 15 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,535 ‐That's it? ‐What do you want me to say? 16 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:35,494 Doesn't matter. You love me, too. 17 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:39,081 Oh, it does matter. And I don't forgive you. 18 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,583 And how can I tell you I love you? I don't even know you. 19 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,765 You're working so calmly 20 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,017 in the place where your mother died. 21 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,936 You were right. 22 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,521 She died at the jetty. 23 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,898 Why was your dad obsessing about a Marine 24 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,775 named Benjamin Cruz? 25 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,193 I think he killed her. 26 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:19,329 ♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪ 27 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,457 ♪ At the moment of my death ♪ 28 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:26,086 ♪ The echo I created ♪ 29 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:29,631 ♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪ 30 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,759 ♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪ 31 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:36,013 ♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪ 32 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,223 ♪ And when he died, his widowed bride ♪ 33 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,851 ♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪ 34 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,812 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 35 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,981 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 36 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,650 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 37 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,569 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 38 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,029 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 39 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,031 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 40 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,158 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 41 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:59,369 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 42 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,997 ♪ Sink back into the ocean, sink back into the ocean ♪ 43 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,499 ♪ Sink back into the o... ♪ 44 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:05,292 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 45 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,960 ♪ Sink back into the o... ♪ 46 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,504 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 47 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,715 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 48 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,522 ♪ "Walking with a Stranger" by Chris Staples ♪ 49 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:51,755 ♪ Well, it sure took forever ♪ 50 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,092 ♪ But the summer finally came ♪ 51 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,389 ♪ Felt like walking with a stranger ♪ 52 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:04,518 ♪ Who didn't even know her name ♪ 53 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,941 ♪ Pretty soon I grew accustomed ♪ 54 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:15,028 ♪ To her warm and sunny way ♪ 55 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,742 ♪ Pretty soon I would forget ♪ 56 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,912 ♪ About those frigid winter days ♪ 57 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:27,874 ♪ If you just stay true... ♪ 58 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:31,336 Thank God you're here. 59 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,797 Your grandfather's been driving me bonkers. 60 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,092 ‐Noah. ‐Margaret. 61 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,927 ‐Where's Helen? ‐Oh, I told you, Grandma. 62 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,720 She couldn't come. She had to work. 63 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,097 Well, that's just disgusting. 64 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,932 I don't think so. 65 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:44,850 Well, of course it is. 66 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,726 This is your wedding. 67 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:49,438 What could be more important than your wedding, Whitney? 68 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,648 I swear I brought your mother up better than that. 69 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,859 I really did. 70 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,069 Oh, well. She's a lost cause. 71 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,738 You're my only hope for happiness now. 72 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,282 Ugh. Come upstairs. 73 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,993 I've laid out all the bridal magazines. 74 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,953 Noah, take Whitney's things to the blue room. 75 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,204 You're in the basement. 76 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,248 Oh, and see if you can find Bruce. 77 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,083 He'd be thrilled to see you. 78 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:19,843 Hey. Hey, Bruce. 79 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,262 ‐Hi. ‐H‐Hello. 80 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,349 Who are you? 81 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,186 Uh, Noah. 82 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,938 Noah. N‐Noah Solloway? 83 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,274 ‐I'm your ex‐‐ ‐Oh, oh. Yes, of course. 84 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:34,775 I'm so sorry. 85 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,985 Uh, Bruce Butler. 86 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,488 Margaret told me you were coming. 87 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:41,156 The writer. Uh... 88 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,866 She says you've published multiple books. 89 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,367 That's right, yeah. 90 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,495 Wow, that's impressive. 91 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:49,664 Uh, you know, there's a great expression. 92 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,875 Uh... 93 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,504 "No one has one book in him, but..." 94 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,172 Um. It's, uh... 95 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,508 I think it's, "Everyone has one book in them. 96 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,510 Almost nobody has two." 97 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:06,723 Oh. Uh... That's not very nice. 98 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,684 Uh, you know, I always wanted to be a writer. 99 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:13,271 But there never seemed to be enough hours in the day. 100 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,606 Yeah... 101 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,150 Are you hungry? I was craving some, uh, 102 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:19,319 some of these, uh... 103 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:20,695 ‐ some of these... ‐ Here. 104 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,239 Bruce, let‐let me make those for you. 105 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,907 No. No, no, you're our guest. 106 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,160 You know... No, no. You... have‐have some coffee. 107 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:31,414 Uh, uh, I have no idea how to use that machine. 108 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,166 Sure, I'll make some. 109 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:37,546 Um, are you, uh, you married? 110 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,551 Uh, no. Divorced. 111 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,427 Twice, actually. 112 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,514 Well, that's probably why you have so much time to write. 113 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,559 I'm more of a family man, myself. 114 00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,060 Bruce, no. 115 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,145 ‐ Oh... ‐Oh, Jesus. 116 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:57,615 - ‐It's okay. - ‐ 117 00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,193 ‐No... ‐I just, I just wanted to‐‐ 118 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,445 It's‐it's all right, it's all right. Shh, shh. 119 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:06,825 We're trying to set boundaries for Bruce. 120 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:07,708 Some new expectations. 121 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,494 While you're here, I'd appreciate it 122 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:10,412 if you could help with that. 123 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,622 I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't know. 124 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,915 Well, now you do. 125 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,294 Hi. 126 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,796 Ah. What are you doing here? 127 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,717 ‐I'm getting married. ‐What? To this fellow? 128 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,261 Why, Helly‐Belly, that's fantastic. 129 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,013 Does this mean that you've finally broken up 130 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,931 with that kid from Pennsylvania? 131 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:30,974 The‐the one that was practically a mute? 132 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,893 Bruce, t‐this is Whitney. 133 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:36,187 Helen is your daughter. This is your granddaughter. 134 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,106 G‐Granddaughter? 135 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,941 I can't do this anymore. 136 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:40,901 It's okay. Margaret, it's okay. 137 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,485 Let's‐let's focus on the wedding. Uh... 138 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,362 Whitney has this huge agenda for us, 139 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,323 and, uh, she needs your help. 140 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,866 Uh, that's right, Grandma. 141 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,493 Um, I need to decide on a florist. 142 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:51,953 I've narrowed it down to three, 143 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,455 but I'm sure you'll have an opinion. 144 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:56,124 Um, I need to figure out a caterer. 145 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,043 I wanted to find somebody who could do vegan options. 146 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,044 I don't know if you know anybody. 147 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,212 And, um... Oh, well, we already got a tent. 148 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,214 Oh, that reminds me. 149 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,549 The bill for the tent came. 150 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,803 Margaret, I'm... 151 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:09,846 I thought I was doing the catering, 152 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,349 and you and Bruce were gonna pay for the tent. 153 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,727 Noah, we can't pay for this. It's $20,000. 154 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,647 We don't have any money. 155 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,857 And whose fault is that, Marie Antoinette? 156 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,570 Whitney, I just had a splendid idea. 157 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:29,407 Why don't I call Dean at our tennis club? 158 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:30,200 They do a marvelous brunch. 159 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,035 And if we do the wedding reception 160 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,704 outside of peak hours, 161 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,331 I'm sure we can get a discount 162 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,749 on the cabana. 163 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,000 They have a waffle station 164 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:42,170 and a make‐your‐own‐omelette bar. 165 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,089 Excuse me, please. 166 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:51,179 Okay, M‐Margaret, the‐the wedding is happening here. 167 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,348 Okay? So, if you want to help, 168 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:56,851 help us figure out a way to make that happen. 169 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,690 Hey. 170 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,529 We can't afford a wedding, can we? 171 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,030 No one can afford a wedding. Not really. 172 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,533 We can figure it out. 173 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,618 No, I‐I need to get back to reality. 174 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,078 I... Work has been crazy. 175 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,538 I had to miss three days to be here. 176 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,374 Andrea already wants to fucking kill me. 177 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:23,128 It's fine. We'll just... we'll get married at city hall. 178 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,213 Come on, Whitney. You've been talking about having a wedding 179 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,715 in this house since before you were in braces. 180 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,133 I already found a red‐eye that we can get on tonight. 181 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,135 It has seats available. 182 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,095 Give me six hours. 183 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,513 Okay? Let's at least try. 184 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:36,224 Then if you still want to go to city hall, 185 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,809 then we'll go to city hall. 186 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,478 Come on. Have you got a pen? 187 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,652 Right. What's the first thing? 188 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,404 ‐Um... ‐Tent. 189 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,740 Okay, I just received the last part of my advance, 190 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,117 and I can't think of a better thing to spend it on. 191 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,410 ‐Dad, no. ‐So that's that done. 192 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,662 ‐Next? ‐Dad, you don't get it. 193 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,582 A‐A tent is no good if you don't have things to put in it. 194 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,917 Backyard weddings are so expensive because you have 195 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:06,546 to pay for every single little thing. See? 196 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,300 Okay. 197 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,343 Let's start with plates. 198 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,347 Well, this house has got to have plenty of those. 199 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,641 I always hoped 200 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,269 your mother would inherit this, 201 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,229 but she insists on feeding you all 202 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,690 from earthenware as if she grew up on a riverbank. 203 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,442 But no matter, 204 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,277 because now it'll go to someone who appreciates it. 205 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,155 ‐Thank you, Grandma. ‐This is helpful. 206 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,948 Thanks. What's next? 207 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,618 Oh, I have an appointment at an East Hampton bridal boutique 208 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,620 at two, but it's crazy expensive. 209 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,539 ‐I think we should cancel it. ‐You don't have a dress yet? 210 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,333 Perfect. Come on, let's go. 211 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,216 Oh, Margaret, can we borrow your car? 212 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,128 Only if Whitney drives. 213 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,297 ‐Why? ‐Because the last time you drove 214 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,800 a car in Montauk, you killed Scott Lockhart. 215 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,311 So, what do you want to do about music? 216 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,480 You want dancing, right? 217 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,690 Honestly, I kind of wanted a flash mob. 218 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,193 ‐What? ‐You know, a flash mob? 219 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,821 It's, like, a surprise dance, but everyone knows the steps. 220 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:16,157 How could everybody know the steps to a surprise dance? 221 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,575 Because somebody teaches them ahead of time, 222 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,453 and it's like a... Never mind. 223 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,833 Oh, look. 224 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,961 We have to stop 225 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,963 and see what they've done to the Lobster Roll. 226 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:30,922 No, Whit‐Whitney, we don't have time. 227 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,800 Yes, we do. Come on. It'll be hilarious. 228 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,908 Hi, we okay here? 229 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,455 Not as friendly as they used to be. 230 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,207 Yeah. 231 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:14,424 Hey, remember when Stacey almost choked and Mom saved her? 232 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,717 What? 233 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,344 Yeah, you remember. We were sitting right there, 234 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,388 and Trevor and Stacey were playing that game, and then 235 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,806 Stacey put a marble in her mouth. 236 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:25,226 No, it wasn't, uh, it wasn't your mom who saved her. 237 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,478 It was, it was Alison. 238 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,397 What? 239 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,399 No, that's‐that's not how I remember it at all. 240 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,734 No, I'm pretty sure it was her. 241 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,861 Stacey was choking and Alison was right there. 242 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,494 So, was that the day you met Alison? 243 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,706 Yeah, I think it was. 244 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,793 So you bonded over the fact that Stacey almost choked to death? 245 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,630 Whitney, if you ever want to talk about what happened 246 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,715 ‐between Alison and me... ‐Yeah. 247 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:56,925 Sure. I do, actually. Go ahead. 248 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,597 Well, there's not... I didn't exactly have a prepared speech. 249 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,806 ‐But if you‐‐ ‐Yeah. That's what I thought. 250 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,474 No, I mean, if you want to ask questions or‐‐ 251 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,560 - ‐Stop. - ‐ Noah? 252 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,063 Luisa, hi. 253 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,648 ‐Hey. ‐Hey, you remember Whitney, 254 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,275 ‐my daughter? ‐Yeah, of course. Uh... 255 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,610 I babysat you one summer at the Butlers'. 256 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,278 I remember. Nice to see you. 257 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,863 Yeah, we're in town planning Whitney's wedding, 258 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,448 if you can believe it. 259 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,409 Cool. Congratulations. 260 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,161 Thank you. 261 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,372 So this is different. 262 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:31,834 Yeah. It's officially in the hands of the new owners now. 263 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,337 I just came by to empty a few things out of the office. 264 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,172 Ah. End of an era. 265 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,925 Yep. 266 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,470 I have to get going. 267 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,764 What's, uh, what's next for you? 268 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,267 I'm going back to New York. 269 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,309 ‐Really? ‐Mm‐hmm. 270 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,394 Wow. 271 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,438 I can't believe you got Cole to go to the city. 272 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,942 We're separated, Noah. 273 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:58,152 He and Joanie are moving to Vermont. 274 00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:01,823 This afternoon, actually, so I have to get going. 275 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:02,991 Congratulations on your wedding. Good luck. 276 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,955 I'll be right back. 277 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,039 No, Dad, she doesn't want to talk to us. 278 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,670 Hey, Luisa. 279 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,171 I'm sorry if I offended you there. 280 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:20,174 ‐I had no idea. ‐It's fine. 281 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,843 That's terrible about you and Cole. 282 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,096 Well, the writing was on the wall, wasn't it? 283 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:28,850 Look, I was wondering, have you any idea when they're leaving? 284 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,728 ‐Why? ‐'Cause I want to see Joanie. 285 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,980 You can't just waltz in and out of her life 286 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,024 ‐when it's convenient. ‐I know that. I know that. 287 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:39,319 I raised her as my own for two years. I care about her. 288 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:40,320 Noah, I don't feel like getting 289 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,363 ‐in the middle of this. ‐No, I understand. 290 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,032 If you could just tell me when they're leaving, 291 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,075 then I can swing by, and if Cole doesn't want me to see her, 292 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,660 that's fine, I just, I don't want her to think 293 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,162 I just disappeared. 294 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,248 They're leaving at five. 295 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,875 Thanks. 296 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,920 I'm sorry about how it turned out here, and... 297 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,005 I hope there are good things ahead. 298 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,843 Noah, I babysat your kids. 299 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,137 My mother worked at your house. 300 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,930 Don't pretend we're friends. 301 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,870 ‐Hey, can I get a menu, please? ‐You order on that. 302 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,792 ♪ And death grabbed him so quiet ♪ 303 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,086 ♪ It didn't even make a sound ♪ 304 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,927 ♪ As far as I could see were dead leaves... ♪ 305 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,596 Hey, just‐just pull over right here, will you? 306 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,765 ‐ What, here? ‐Yeah. Just for a second. 307 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:53,851 ♪ Pretty soon I grow a cold ♪ 308 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:58,439 ♪ And hollow feeling in my heart ♪ 309 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:05,863 ♪ Pretty soon me and my sunny day ♪ 310 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,657 ♪ Will have to part ♪ 311 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,993 ♪ If you just... ♪ 312 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:14,622 Hey... you think these would look good in a bouquet? 313 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,916 Uh, you know th... that's poison ivy, right? 314 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,168 ‐This is not poison ivy. ‐Not the stuff you got in your hand, man. 315 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,421 The three‐leafed plants that are all around where you were 316 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:23,798 ‐secret gardening. ‐W... N... 317 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:24,799 Poison ivy doesn't grow in the winter. 318 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,343 Oh, yeah. It definitely does. 319 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:30,555 Oh, fuck. 320 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,647 Yay. 321 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,357 ‐Are you Mr. Solloway? ‐Yeah. Hi. 322 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,694 Yeah, they told me at the front that Whitney might be back here. 323 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,071 ‐She sure is. Welcome. ‐Thank you. 324 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,035 ‐ Hi, Dad. ‐Hey, Whit. How's it going? 325 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,078 Good. 326 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,830 Oh, thanks. 327 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,540 It is so cute that you're here. 328 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,959 We almost never see dads in the shop. 329 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:03,004 - ‐What do you do? - ‐ He's a writer. 330 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,839 Ooh. Anything I'd know? 331 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,924 - ‐I doubt it. - ‐ He's being very 332 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:09,302 modest. He has a movie coming out 333 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,012 ‐starring Sasha Mann. ‐Sasha Mann? 334 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:14,515 I fucking love Sasha Mann, wow. 335 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:15,850 Hey, Hannah, could you come back here 336 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:16,434 and give me a hand with these clamps? 337 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,352 Coming. 338 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,993 Okay... 339 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:59,644 Well? 340 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,230 What do you think? 341 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,776 Oh, Whit. 342 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:07,659 You're beautiful. 343 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,529 Thanks, Dad. 344 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:14,242 You guys are gonna make the cutest father‐daughter ever. 345 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,786 Wow. Whitney, it's 19, 346 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,413 but I'll knock it down to 17 because it's... 347 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,457 it's just so... it's perfect. 348 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,043 Uh, wh... That's, uh... 349 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,127 17, as in thousand? 350 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:29,298 Mm, sometimes dads just need a little convincing. 351 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,424 Do you mind pulling a few less expensive 352 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:33,261 options? 353 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:36,722 Uh, Lizzie! Can you come here a second? 354 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,600 Oh... sweetheart. 355 00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:44,647 You are front‐cover Martha‐Stewart gorgeous. 356 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,190 - ‐Isn't it perfect? - ‐ Mm‐hm. 357 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,109 Whitney thinks so, too. 358 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,611 Actually, I was wondering if you could pull some cheaper options? 359 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,988 Ah, she is such a doll. 360 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,614 Is she your first to get married? 361 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,783 Yeah. Yeah. 362 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:59,036 Okay. So, like, what price range were you thinking? 363 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,913 Uh... Wh... I‐I don't know, I‐I‐‐ 364 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,873 He's a big screenwriter. 365 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:06,335 He works with Sasha Mann. 366 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,962 Really? 367 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,505 Let me ask you something, Mr. Hollywood. 368 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,882 When will there ever be a more important time 369 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,884 to splurge than for your eldest daughter's wedding? 370 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,971 She loves this dress. 371 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:21,642 Uh... Look, maybe... maybe I can, um... 372 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:22,643 ‐ Maybe... ‐ Don't, Dad. 373 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:23,561 It's okay. It's okay. I'm gonna change. 374 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,023 I'm sorry, what, what's happening here? 375 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,107 I didn't know the dresses were this expensive. I... 376 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,776 I haven't earned that kind of money yet. 377 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,903 Well, then why did you waste our time with this appointment? 378 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:35,489 It was my idea, Hannah, and it was a big mistake. 379 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:39,452 What kind of psycho spends $17,000 on a dress? 380 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:40,453 Do you know how many clean water wells 381 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,204 you could build in Africa with that money? 382 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:46,042 ‐No. Do you? ‐I bet it's a lot, you cunt. 383 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,295 Nice work, Dad. 384 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:04,769 Dad... what's up with the itching? 385 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,896 It's fucking... 386 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,857 ‐poison ivy. ‐What? 387 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,276 Yeah, I tried to pick you some wildflowers. 388 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,070 Thought you might like them. 389 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,204 What? 390 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:26,499 I know what you're trying to do. 391 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,917 And I appreciate it. 392 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,252 What am I trying to do? 393 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,173 You're trying to make amends. 394 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:43,891 Oh, look, a daytime moon. 395 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:47,311 Your mom always used to say they were good luck. 396 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:54,276 ♪ I wandered out in the woods for years ♪ 397 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,822 ♪ While you just stayed in your room ♪ 398 00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,908 ♪ I saw the crescent ♪ 399 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:04,912 ♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪ 400 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,080 ‐♪ Doo‐doo‐nee‐nee ♪ ‐ 401 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,332 ♪ The whole of... ♪ Who's that? 402 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,251 ‐Who sings that? ‐I don't know. 403 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,753 Colin's always playing it, it stuck in my head. 404 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,631 It was the Waterboys. That's my generation. 405 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,843 Yeah, I think they're Irish. I don't know, Colin's obsessed. 406 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,095 ‐Mmm, boy's got good taste. ‐ 407 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:28,978 Hey, I got an idea, but, uh, you may hate it. 408 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,439 Your mom had a really beautiful wedding dress. 409 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,777 And I don't know where it is now, but your grandmother, 410 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:37,361 she'd probably have it. 411 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,405 We know she's a hoarder. 412 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:43,284 Okay. It was a terrible idea. 413 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,953 No. 414 00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,496 I love it. 415 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,210 ‐How'd it go? ‐Hey, Margaret, do you know 416 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,838 where Helen's wedding dress is? 417 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,215 She looked like a vagabond whore in that dress. Why? 418 00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:01,010 Okay, let's just check the attic. 419 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,416 Sorry, I need a minute. 420 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,591 What's wrong? 421 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,639 You hate it? 422 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:49,058 - ‐You hate it, right? - ‐ No. 423 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,810 Don't worry, don't worry. We'll get another one. 424 00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:51,852 It's not the dress. I love the dress. 425 00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,729 What is it? 426 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:54,480 This wedding is gonna be 427 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,357 ‐a fucking disaster. ‐What? 428 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,400 No, it's not. Come on, we're pulling it together. 429 00:21:58,484 --> 00:21:58,984 We got a tent, we got the plates, 430 00:21:59,068 --> 00:21:59,902 now we got a dress. 431 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,946 That's not what I mean. 432 00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:03,405 Then what is it? 433 00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,541 I cheated on Colin. 434 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,213 Okay. 435 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:21,048 Okay? That's what you have to say to me? 436 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:24,218 ‐No, no. ‐God, why am I not surprised? 437 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:25,101 When did this happen? Recently? 438 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:28,264 Yeah. 439 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,890 After you got engaged? 440 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,142 Yeah. 441 00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:36,564 And I have to tell him, right? 442 00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:43,696 Uh... uh, not necessarily. 443 00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:47,992 I mean... did you want to be with this other guy? 444 00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:49,702 No. God, no. 445 00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:52,454 Well, is there any other way that Colin might find out? 446 00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,083 I mean, is it someone who's around a lot, do you have 447 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:59,378 ‐friends in common? ‐No. Why? 448 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,424 Because, in that case, telling Colin might just 449 00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:05,092 hurt him unnecessarily. 450 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:08,012 And end your relationship. 451 00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:09,346 I mean, unless... 452 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,098 ‐What? ‐Well, unless 453 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:13,225 that's what you were trying to do. 454 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,518 ‐ ‐I... 455 00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:21,567 I don't know. Uh... maybe. 456 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,947 Whitney? 457 00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:29,491 Do you want to marry Colin? 458 00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,118 If you're asking if he's the only person I'll ever love, 459 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:33,537 I... I have no fucking idea. 460 00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,039 How am I supposed to know that? 461 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:36,123 Look, I don't think anybody knows that. 462 00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:38,751 Yes, they do. Some people do. 463 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:39,960 ‐Colin does. ‐Now, you don't know that. 464 00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:41,170 You're not in his head. 465 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:44,340 For all you know, he's... he's having major doubts, too. 466 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,008 ‐Wow. ‐No... not about you, 467 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:48,093 about marriage. 468 00:23:48,177 --> 00:23:50,679 When I got married, I thought that if you, 469 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:51,847 if you, if you chose the right person, 470 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:54,308 then you'd be happy forever, and if you were unhappy, 471 00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:55,601 then they were the wrong person. 472 00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:57,603 But that's just not how it works. 473 00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:59,146 ‐It's not? ‐No. No. 474 00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:00,481 Marriage is... it's not magic, it's, 475 00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,983 it's just a decision that you have to make. 476 00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:06,445 And keep on making, over and over, to stay. 477 00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:08,405 Whitney, 478 00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:09,698 deciding you're not ready 479 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,116 doesn't mean you're a bad person. 480 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,493 It means you know yourself 481 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,662 much better than I knew when I was your age. 482 00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:18,666 No, I'm not hurting Colin. I'm not doing it. 483 00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:20,542 ‐He's my best friend. ‐He'll be okay. 484 00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:22,169 He, he... he'll survive. 485 00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:25,089 You hurt Mom so badly. 486 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,468 Yeah, but that was... 487 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:32,680 that was different. We had four kids. 488 00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:34,932 I don't want to ever hurt anyone the way you hurt her. 489 00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:37,518 Right. 490 00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:39,186 Why did you do it? 491 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:41,605 If marriage is a choice, if you can decide to stay, 492 00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:43,190 why did you go? 493 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:49,488 I don't know how to answer that. 494 00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:52,157 Was it Alison? 495 00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:54,368 Did you just love her more than you loved us? 496 00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:55,536 No. 497 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,079 What was it, then? 498 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,710 I don't know. 499 00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:04,086 See, the thing that I don't get is, 500 00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:05,921 you were a good dad. 501 00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:09,258 And Mom was a great mom, and‐and we were happy. 502 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,051 Or at least I thought we were. 503 00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:12,678 And then... 504 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:17,683 I guess I just worry that, 505 00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,393 if that wasn't real 506 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:20,853 and if that wasn't good, 507 00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:25,274 then... then maybe nothing is. 508 00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:27,985 Whitney, look, I fucked up. 509 00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:28,868 I... 510 00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:35,451 I was thinking about myself, and I fucked up. 511 00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:43,042 Which is why I want you to give yourself the time 512 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:44,585 to make the right decision. 513 00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:50,632 I love you, Whit. I just want you to be happy. 514 00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:54,720 I love you, too. 515 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,722 Come on. 516 00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:05,689 I got to change out of this dress. 517 00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:19,411 Oh, fuck. 518 00:26:33,008 --> 00:26:35,010 Hello? 519 00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:38,597 Noah, hi. This is Petra Ranes from Vanity Fair. 520 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,142 Oh, hi, Petra. It's been a while. 521 00:26:42,226 --> 00:26:43,685 ‐How are you? ‐I'm good. 522 00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:46,063 And the piece is really coming together. 523 00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:47,272 ‐Great. ‐I'm just doing a last 524 00:26:47,356 --> 00:26:49,149 little bit of fact‐checking, if you have a second. 525 00:26:49,233 --> 00:26:52,152 ‐Sure. ‐Great. 526 00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:55,155 So, do you happen to know a woman named Eden Bishop? 527 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,242 Uh... no, I don't think so. 528 00:26:58,325 --> 00:26:59,660 That's her married name. 529 00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:03,455 Maybe you know her as Ellery? Eden Ellery? 530 00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,332 Oh, yeah, yeah, she was, uh, she was my publicist 531 00:27:05,415 --> 00:27:07,751 on the book tour for Descent. 532 00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:09,461 That's what she said, too. 533 00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:12,297 Okay? 534 00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:13,841 Did you two have a relationship? 535 00:27:13,924 --> 00:27:16,051 Beyond the professional? 536 00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:17,886 Me and Eden? 537 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:20,639 She claims you pressured her into sleeping with you 538 00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:22,140 on the book tour. 539 00:27:22,224 --> 00:27:24,017 Does that match your recollection? 540 00:27:29,297 --> 00:27:30,097 Sorry, wh‐what did you say? 541 00:27:30,107 --> 00:27:32,693 The reception here is terrible. 542 00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:33,576 Eden claims you coerced her into having sex 543 00:27:33,652 --> 00:27:36,405 while on the book tour together. 544 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,949 I'm asking if you remember something like that happening 545 00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:40,951 between you and her during that time. 546 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:44,830 No. Absolutely not. 547 00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,039 Are you sure? 548 00:27:46,123 --> 00:27:49,001 This is fucking shit! What? No! 549 00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:50,210 So that's not your memory? 550 00:27:50,294 --> 00:27:53,046 ‐No! ‐Okay. That's it, then. 551 00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:55,799 I just needed a comment. Thanks for your time. 552 00:28:00,137 --> 00:28:02,306 What...? 553 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:06,435 Oh, fuck. 554 00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:38,485 Yes? 555 00:29:38,568 --> 00:29:42,781 Hi, I'm looking for Benjamin Cruz. 556 00:29:48,245 --> 00:29:50,414 I'm Ben Cruz. 557 00:29:50,497 --> 00:29:51,873 Can I help you? 558 00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:57,212 I just wanted to ask about your clinic. 559 00:29:57,295 --> 00:30:02,134 I... I need help. 560 00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:04,302 I think I have PTSD. 561 00:30:05,262 --> 00:30:08,015 Ah. 562 00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:09,766 What's your name? 563 00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:12,144 Gabrielle. 564 00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,523 Very nice to meet you. 565 00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:19,526 Come on inside. 566 00:30:26,450 --> 00:30:28,952 Danny, Isla, meet Gabrielle. 567 00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:31,038 She's here to learn about our community. 568 00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:31,955 ‐Hey there. ‐Hey. 569 00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:35,417 Hi. 570 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:38,003 I thought I was the only one 571 00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:40,839 who read real books anymore. 572 00:30:45,052 --> 00:30:47,012 How about I give you a tour? 573 00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:54,644 I believe in the healing power 574 00:30:54,728 --> 00:30:57,856 of fresh air and tilling the land. 575 00:30:57,939 --> 00:31:01,193 Everything here has been designed to be self‐sustaining. 576 00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:04,529 My patients get free lodging 577 00:31:04,613 --> 00:31:08,366 in return for their time in the garden. 578 00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:11,119 So, a‐are you a veteran, Gabrielle? 579 00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:14,247 Um, no, I'm not. 580 00:31:14,331 --> 00:31:16,666 How did you find us, then? 581 00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:19,002 Recommendation. 582 00:31:21,671 --> 00:31:25,425 I only ask because we mostly service ex‐military. 583 00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:26,802 When I was a young vet, I started 584 00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:30,472 my post‐service career at the VA, 585 00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,516 during what I thought was a really exciting time 586 00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:34,434 for PTSD therapy. 587 00:31:34,518 --> 00:31:37,562 Newer, integrative psychotherapeutic approaches 588 00:31:37,646 --> 00:31:40,649 like exposure therapy, EMDR. 589 00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:43,068 They all seemed to be taking root 590 00:31:43,151 --> 00:31:45,570 in the mainstream community, 591 00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:49,032 but then, of course, they were obliterated 592 00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:51,785 as soon as the government deregulated 593 00:31:51,868 --> 00:31:53,495 psychopharmaceutical drugs. 594 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,455 If vets want alternative therapies, 595 00:31:55,539 --> 00:31:58,041 they have to seek them under the table, 596 00:31:58,125 --> 00:32:01,002 pay out of pocket, get treatments in secret. 597 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:05,006 If the VA finds out, people lose their health care. 598 00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:08,468 Anyway, 599 00:32:08,552 --> 00:32:12,430 that's why I have to be extra careful 600 00:32:12,514 --> 00:32:14,307 when people knock on my door. 601 00:32:14,391 --> 00:32:18,061 Well, you weren't that careful. You kind of just let me in. 602 00:32:19,271 --> 00:32:22,107 True. 603 00:32:23,233 --> 00:32:26,027 But you have an honest face. 604 00:32:26,736 --> 00:32:29,781 We grow all our own food. 605 00:32:29,865 --> 00:32:31,074 There's something so 606 00:32:31,158 --> 00:32:33,869 satisfying about putting your hands in the dirt, 607 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:37,914 turning the soil, caring for the space, 608 00:32:37,998 --> 00:32:42,043 and then watch it as it bears fruit. 609 00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:44,421 Here, 610 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:47,549 the land that we've taken care of 611 00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:49,968 then turns around and cares for us. 612 00:32:50,051 --> 00:32:53,054 I firmly believe, 613 00:32:53,138 --> 00:32:56,516 if we can remember how to care for a garden, 614 00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,395 we can remember how to care for each other. 615 00:33:09,863 --> 00:33:11,907 Thank you. 616 00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:15,869 Let's head back inside. 617 00:33:15,952 --> 00:33:19,331 Get to know each other a bit better. 618 00:33:24,252 --> 00:33:25,879 So... 619 00:33:25,962 --> 00:33:28,048 Gabrielle. 620 00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:30,175 That's a beautiful name, by the way. 621 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:30,717 Thank you. 622 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,638 Is it a family name? 623 00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:36,556 Yes. 624 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:40,560 So tell me, 625 00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:42,771 how can I help you? 626 00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:48,735 I think I suffer from PTSD. 627 00:33:48,818 --> 00:33:53,782 Okay. How does that manifest? 628 00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:58,078 I can't connect with people. I think I'm incapable of love. 629 00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:02,749 Well, sometimes such feelings are connected 630 00:34:02,832 --> 00:34:07,087 to a significant loss or trauma 631 00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:08,255 at an early age. 632 00:34:10,507 --> 00:34:13,093 Does that resonate with you? 633 00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:14,469 No. 634 00:34:14,552 --> 00:34:18,014 Hmm. 635 00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:20,934 Are you familiar with EMDR? 636 00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,978 No. 637 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:25,063 It's an old form of therapy. 638 00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:28,942 Nobody really understands why it works or how, 639 00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:31,278 but it does. 640 00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:33,488 There's something almost magical about it. 641 00:34:34,698 --> 00:34:37,284 Mm. You don't believe in magic? 642 00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:38,034 No. 643 00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:43,206 Maybe that's why you have such... 644 00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:45,166 trouble with love. 645 00:34:47,669 --> 00:34:50,130 Would you like to try EMDR? 646 00:34:50,213 --> 00:34:54,009 J‐Just to see if we can get a little closer 647 00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:58,305 to understanding why you came. 648 00:35:00,724 --> 00:35:04,561 Sure. Why not? 649 00:35:04,644 --> 00:35:06,688 Excellent. 650 00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:09,524 I record all my sessions. Do you mind? 651 00:35:11,651 --> 00:35:13,862 And this is just 652 00:35:13,945 --> 00:35:17,616 our standard release form. 653 00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:21,453 It's on paper. 654 00:35:21,536 --> 00:35:23,788 I know. What can I say? 655 00:35:23,872 --> 00:35:25,749 I am nostalgic for the analog world. 656 00:35:25,832 --> 00:35:29,252 I suspect you are, too. 657 00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:32,964 Well, take a moment, read it through. 658 00:35:33,048 --> 00:35:35,091 What's the date? 659 00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:36,718 Oh, don't worry about that. 660 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:37,601 I just need your signature. 661 00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:44,684 Okay. Thank you. 662 00:35:44,768 --> 00:35:46,144 So... 663 00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:49,230 the way EMDR works. 664 00:35:50,523 --> 00:35:54,694 We pick one specific traumatic event 665 00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:56,321 and then we basically rewrite the script 666 00:35:56,404 --> 00:36:00,700 so it doesn't trigger the same debilitating response. 667 00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:01,993 Does that make sense? Good. 668 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:07,540 We can start on any memory, really. 669 00:36:07,624 --> 00:36:10,877 Is there a moment, a... 670 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,047 a night where you remember this, 671 00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:17,008 as you say, "inability to love" 672 00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:19,010 really manifesting itself, 673 00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:21,429 impeding your life in some way? 674 00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:26,726 I... 675 00:36:28,478 --> 00:36:32,232 I had a fight with my boyfriend recently. 676 00:36:32,315 --> 00:36:34,609 Excellent. 677 00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:38,738 That is the perfect thing to unpack with this therapy. 678 00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:40,156 Let's start there. 679 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:44,577 Can you please, um, move your chair 680 00:36:44,661 --> 00:36:45,870 to face me. 681 00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:51,501 Good. 682 00:36:54,629 --> 00:36:57,882 No, see, you need to be a little closer. 683 00:36:57,966 --> 00:37:01,761 There you go. 684 00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:03,471 Okay, to begin, 685 00:37:03,555 --> 00:37:07,058 just follow my fingers with your eyes. 686 00:37:11,104 --> 00:37:13,565 ‐Th‐That makes me dizzy. ‐Okay. 687 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:17,402 Let's switch to something else. 688 00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:21,448 Your palms up. 689 00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:23,366 There you go. 690 00:37:26,453 --> 00:37:30,957 Close your eyes and take a deep breath. 691 00:37:35,295 --> 00:37:37,964 Now think back to the night of the fight. 692 00:37:38,047 --> 00:37:41,551 What do you notice? 693 00:37:41,634 --> 00:37:42,434 Where are you? 694 00:37:45,138 --> 00:37:46,973 I'm in my apartment. 695 00:37:47,056 --> 00:37:49,434 ‐Where is that? ‐Montauk. 696 00:37:51,478 --> 00:37:53,521 How about your boyfriend, is he there? 697 00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:54,856 He's on his way. 698 00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:58,067 How do you feel? 699 00:37:58,151 --> 00:38:00,320 Scared. 700 00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:02,906 Good. Go with that. 701 00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:07,911 Same as before. 702 00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:12,457 Tell me... what do you notice? 703 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:16,836 My apartment is warm, cozy. 704 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,339 There's a fire in the fireplace. 705 00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:22,217 My daughter's drawings 706 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:25,220 are on the refrigerator. 707 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,430 It's raining outside. 708 00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:32,894 Pouring, actually. There's a storm, a... a bad one. 709 00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:33,853 The windows are rattling. 710 00:38:33,937 --> 00:38:36,022 Good. Go with that. 711 00:38:36,105 --> 00:38:40,193 Now what do you see happening? 712 00:38:40,276 --> 00:38:42,529 My boyfriend arrives. 713 00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:45,532 He's soaking wet. He dries himself by the fire. 714 00:38:45,615 --> 00:38:47,200 How's he dressed? 715 00:38:47,283 --> 00:38:50,119 Jeans and a military jacket. 716 00:38:50,203 --> 00:38:52,997 He's a veteran. 717 00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:53,748 Good. 718 00:38:53,832 --> 00:38:56,960 Close your eyes. 719 00:38:57,043 --> 00:39:00,922 Notice what he says 720 00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:02,382 and go with that. 721 00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:05,677 ‐He's angry. ‐Why is he angry? 722 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,179 Because he's married, 723 00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:12,100 and I want him to leave his wife. 724 00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:13,935 We have a fight. 725 00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:16,771 I tell him that if he doesn't leave her, I will kill myself. 726 00:39:16,855 --> 00:39:18,398 Keep going. 727 00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:20,817 He tells me that I'm ugly and stupid 728 00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:22,068 and that nobody will ever love me, 729 00:39:22,151 --> 00:39:25,530 and that the best I could hope for is to be someone's slut. 730 00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:27,740 Okay. That's enough. 731 00:39:29,659 --> 00:39:32,537 EMDR doesn't work if you're lying. 732 00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:47,218 I never said those things. 733 00:39:47,302 --> 00:39:49,596 I respected your mother greatly. 734 00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:55,101 I would never have spoken that way to her. 735 00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:10,074 Hello, Joanie. 736 00:40:10,158 --> 00:40:11,618 Hello, Ben. 737 00:40:14,203 --> 00:40:16,581 I'm so glad you are finally here. 738 00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:24,088 Why don't we start again with the same question? 739 00:40:24,172 --> 00:40:26,758 How can I help you? 740 00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:33,765 Did you kill my mother? 741 00:40:37,810 --> 00:40:40,480 Yes. 742 00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:42,190 I did. 743 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:54,160 I can only imagine what you think of me right now. 744 00:40:54,243 --> 00:40:55,870 It's all so new for you. 745 00:40:58,623 --> 00:41:01,834 The truth is, I've been thinking about you for years. 746 00:41:01,918 --> 00:41:06,214 I've tried to imagine where you've been living your life 747 00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:07,799 and‐and how. 748 00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:12,220 I've awaited our reunion with great anticipation. 749 00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:20,603 Is there anything else you want to ask me? 750 00:41:20,687 --> 00:41:23,356 Anything at all? 751 00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:26,859 Go back behind your desk. I need a barrier between us. 752 00:41:26,943 --> 00:41:29,779 Of course. 753 00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:40,164 I‐I want to be held accountable, Joanie. 754 00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:41,833 I've always known I would eventually 755 00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:44,711 have to answer for what I did. 756 00:41:44,794 --> 00:41:48,423 I welcome the opportunity. 757 00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:55,805 I know this might be hard for you to believe, 758 00:41:55,888 --> 00:42:00,893 but I think of your mother every day. 759 00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:03,396 Every minute, in fact. 760 00:42:03,479 --> 00:42:07,859 She is constantly with me, 761 00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:10,403 and... 762 00:42:10,486 --> 00:42:13,656 I hate myself for what I did. 763 00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:15,908 Okay. So why did you do it? 764 00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:20,079 I had a psychotic break. 765 00:42:20,163 --> 00:42:21,247 What? 766 00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:24,250 When I met your mother... 767 00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:26,753 the doctors at the VA had me on a lot of drugs. 768 00:42:26,836 --> 00:42:28,921 Antidepressants, MDMA, 769 00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:31,257 antipsychotics. 770 00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:33,885 I was losing my mind. 771 00:42:33,968 --> 00:42:37,930 I couldn't sleep. Uh, I‐I‐I was paranoid. 772 00:42:38,014 --> 00:42:39,640 I started hearing voices. 773 00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:42,477 I didn't tell anyone, of course, because... 774 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,521 I, I was afraid they'd lock me up for good. 775 00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:50,610 That night... I became a monster, 776 00:42:50,693 --> 00:42:53,154 uh, completely out of control. 777 00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,616 What did you do to her? 778 00:42:56,699 --> 00:42:58,951 Well, we had an argument 779 00:42:59,035 --> 00:43:01,996 in her apartment, as you guessed. 780 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,372 About what? 781 00:43:03,456 --> 00:43:05,124 The fact that I was married. 782 00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:07,835 So I was right. 783 00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:10,338 Yes. 784 00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:14,425 But she told me to leave. 785 00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:20,807 It was me who was begging to stay. 786 00:43:20,890 --> 00:43:22,016 Why? 787 00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:26,354 Have you ever met someone 788 00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:29,649 who‐who looked at you, 789 00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:30,775 all of you, 790 00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:33,152 even the savage parts, 791 00:43:33,236 --> 00:43:34,821 and they didn't flinch? 792 00:43:37,073 --> 00:43:38,825 No. 793 00:43:38,908 --> 00:43:39,867 I thought she was gonna be the one to bring me back, 794 00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:44,455 restore me to the man I was before I went to war. 795 00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:45,957 That night 796 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,793 we tried to make love... 797 00:43:51,045 --> 00:43:53,172 ...and... 798 00:43:53,256 --> 00:43:55,299 I found that I couldn't. 799 00:43:55,383 --> 00:43:58,469 For years after Afghanistan, 800 00:43:58,553 --> 00:44:02,181 I had thought the problem was my wife. 801 00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:04,392 But then, all of a sudden, it was clear. 802 00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:08,104 The problem had been me all along. 803 00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:13,943 My fate was sealed. 804 00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:17,947 I would never be the man I was before the war. 805 00:44:18,030 --> 00:44:20,283 And I was never going to be enough for Alison 806 00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:22,618 or any woman. 807 00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:24,412 So you killed her? 808 00:44:26,956 --> 00:44:30,126 I never felt such rage. 809 00:44:30,209 --> 00:44:31,752 And because Alison was in front of me, 810 00:44:31,836 --> 00:44:34,255 I‐I directed it at her. 811 00:44:34,881 --> 00:44:38,217 She said she was leaving. 812 00:44:38,301 --> 00:44:40,720 She ran to the door. 813 00:44:40,803 --> 00:44:44,223 And I didn't want her to go, so I grabbed her by the arm 814 00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:48,227 to try to bring her back, 815 00:44:48,311 --> 00:44:53,065 and I lost my grip, and she fell, hard, 816 00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,818 against the bookshelf. 817 00:44:57,570 --> 00:45:01,199 Before I could reach her, this statue, a heavy statue, 818 00:45:01,282 --> 00:45:03,868 it fell on her head. 819 00:45:05,745 --> 00:45:08,706 And she was gone. 820 00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:13,711 So... it was an accident? 821 00:45:13,794 --> 00:45:16,547 Yes, of course. 822 00:45:16,631 --> 00:45:19,759 I never wanted to hurt your mother. 823 00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:36,609 I have... I have tried... 824 00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:40,029 to find a way to make what I did bearable. 825 00:45:40,112 --> 00:45:44,408 I have dedicated the last 30 years of my life 826 00:45:44,492 --> 00:45:48,871 creating this place: a safe haven for veterans. 827 00:45:51,624 --> 00:45:55,336 So nobody again will ever lose control 828 00:45:55,419 --> 00:45:58,506 the way I did. 829 00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:01,884 Hurt someone the way I hurt your mother. 830 00:46:01,968 --> 00:46:04,303 You didn't just hurt her. 831 00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:08,057 You killed her. 832 00:46:08,140 --> 00:46:10,851 Yes, and I'm sorry, Joanie. 833 00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:15,648 If you're so sorry, then why didn't you turn yourself in? 834 00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:18,901 I‐I don't know what good it would have done. 835 00:46:23,197 --> 00:46:27,451 I‐I‐I could help more people... 836 00:46:27,535 --> 00:46:31,289 make more amends by being of service to these men, 837 00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:34,333 rather than waste the rest of my life 838 00:46:34,417 --> 00:46:37,086 rotting away in some cell. 839 00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:39,839 Don't you think you should have let a jury make that call? 840 00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:44,218 Y‐You know who I think should make that call? 841 00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:47,054 You. 842 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:50,808 Me? 843 00:46:51,934 --> 00:46:55,813 I promised myself a long time ago, Joanie, 844 00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:58,566 that when you found me‐‐ 845 00:46:58,649 --> 00:47:03,279 and I knew it was a "when," not an "if"‐‐ 846 00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:04,238 that I would submit 847 00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:08,993 to whatever accountability you demanded, 848 00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:12,246 and I‐I‐I would not resist. 849 00:47:13,289 --> 00:47:14,874 So... 850 00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:19,253 if you want to call the police right now, 851 00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:20,137 I'll give you my phone. 852 00:47:23,632 --> 00:47:27,678 If you want to... you want to kill me... 853 00:47:29,597 --> 00:47:32,183 ...I'll give you my gun. 854 00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:33,976 I am completely in your hands. 855 00:47:41,650 --> 00:47:45,404 If I were going to kill you, 856 00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:48,616 I wouldn't use a gun. 857 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:50,910 It's too quick. 858 00:47:50,993 --> 00:47:52,411 Okay. 859 00:47:52,495 --> 00:47:55,414 How would you do it? 860 00:47:55,498 --> 00:47:57,750 I'd like to cut off your dick 861 00:47:57,833 --> 00:48:02,713 and let you bleed out like a pig until you die. 862 00:48:05,341 --> 00:48:09,887 Well... that's an option, too. 863 00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:15,101 I have to go. I need to think. 864 00:48:15,184 --> 00:48:16,852 Okay, but, Joanie, 865 00:48:16,936 --> 00:48:19,271 you know where to find me now. 866 00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:21,440 And I'm not gonna run. 867 00:48:23,192 --> 00:48:27,154 I'll be right here whenever you decide. 868 00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:28,948 I have to go. 869 00:48:38,499 --> 00:48:40,459 So, what are you gonna do? 870 00:48:40,543 --> 00:48:41,961 I don't know. 871 00:48:42,044 --> 00:48:45,172 How about calling the police? 872 00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:47,133 I guess I should? 873 00:48:48,717 --> 00:48:49,969 This man murdered your mother 874 00:48:50,052 --> 00:48:51,470 and then sat there and gave you 875 00:48:51,554 --> 00:48:53,389 a detailed description of how he did it. 876 00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:56,684 That's a special kind of psychopath. 877 00:48:56,767 --> 00:48:58,477 He's a lot of things, but I‐I don't think 878 00:48:58,561 --> 00:49:01,021 he's a psychopath. 879 00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:05,151 What? 880 00:49:05,234 --> 00:49:09,655 He seemed sorry. 881 00:49:09,738 --> 00:49:13,367 Truly sorry. 882 00:49:13,451 --> 00:49:16,328 He spent his entire life trying to make amends. 883 00:49:16,412 --> 00:49:18,664 Uh, Joanie, most murderers are sorry for what they did. 884 00:49:18,747 --> 00:49:20,207 They still have to go to prison. 885 00:49:20,291 --> 00:49:22,001 He said I could kill him if I liked. 886 00:49:22,084 --> 00:49:24,044 I think that would be a mistake. 887 00:49:24,128 --> 00:49:25,171 I wasn't being serious. 888 00:49:25,254 --> 00:49:26,213 ‐Yes, you were. ‐No, I wasn't. 889 00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:27,339 I think you were. 890 00:49:27,423 --> 00:49:30,259 ‐EJ. ‐Joanie, listen to me. 891 00:49:30,342 --> 00:49:31,844 This problem is above your pay grade. 892 00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:33,304 There are people who specialize 893 00:49:33,387 --> 00:49:35,264 in crime and punishment for a living. 894 00:49:35,347 --> 00:49:36,891 That's why they're called the authorities. 895 00:49:36,974 --> 00:49:38,017 How about we let them decide what to do 896 00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:41,395 before we take vengeance into our own hands. 897 00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:45,191 Ben may be sorry, but he was clearheaded enough at the time 898 00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:47,026 to use your mother's history of mental illness against her 899 00:49:47,109 --> 00:49:50,404 and make everyone believe she drowned herself. 900 00:49:55,284 --> 00:49:57,161 That's right. 901 00:49:57,661 --> 00:50:01,373 She drowned. 902 00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:04,126 They found water in her lungs. 903 00:50:35,491 --> 00:50:36,992 Benjamin Cruz? 904 00:50:37,076 --> 00:50:39,245 Can I help you? 905 00:50:39,328 --> 00:50:41,580 I'm Detective Clark, this is Detective Woods. 906 00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:42,581 We'd like to ask you a few questions 907 00:50:42,665 --> 00:50:44,625 pertaining to the death of Alison Bailey. 908 00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:45,709 May we come in? 909 00:50:45,793 --> 00:50:48,212 I've made my decision. 910 00:50:51,173 --> 00:50:52,591 Where did you find her? 911 00:50:54,176 --> 00:50:56,345 She's one of the patients from my facility. 912 00:50:56,428 --> 00:51:00,724 She went AWOL last night... and we've been worried sick. 913 00:51:00,808 --> 00:51:03,310 What? 914 00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:05,145 This is her signature, committing herself 915 00:51:05,229 --> 00:51:07,147 ‐to psychiatric care. ‐What? 916 00:51:07,231 --> 00:51:08,899 And this is my case study for Joanie Lockhart. 917 00:51:08,983 --> 00:51:11,277 She was admitted three weeks ago. 918 00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:12,444 That's not true. None of this is true. 919 00:51:12,528 --> 00:51:14,363 Joanie suffers from severe depression and PTSD. 920 00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:15,948 Her mother tragically committed suicide 921 00:51:16,031 --> 00:51:18,158 when she was seven years old. 922 00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:21,412 And lately she's been experiencing homicidal 923 00:51:21,495 --> 00:51:22,496 fantasies and delusions. 924 00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:23,998 ‐This is all horseshit. ‐We have been exploring 925 00:51:24,081 --> 00:51:27,001 some of them in a safe, therapeutic space, 926 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,795 but, um, yesterday she had a turn for the worse 927 00:51:29,878 --> 00:51:32,881 and she threatened my life. 928 00:51:35,551 --> 00:51:37,303 I'd like to cut off your dick 929 00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:40,806 and let you bleed out like a pig until you die. 930 00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:42,141 That is not what I said. 931 00:51:42,224 --> 00:51:44,268 That isn't your voice on the recording? 932 00:51:44,351 --> 00:51:45,978 Of course it is, but it was meant as a hypothetical, 933 00:51:46,061 --> 00:51:48,314 like... if I were to kill him. 934 00:51:51,442 --> 00:51:54,028 He knew my mother. He isn't just a random doctor I came to see. 935 00:51:54,111 --> 00:51:57,531 He was dating her when she died. 936 00:51:57,615 --> 00:51:59,658 He told me that he set up this whole clinic 937 00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:02,411 because he felt like such a shit for what he did 30 years ago. 938 00:52:02,494 --> 00:52:03,829 Officers, I have nothing to hide. 939 00:52:03,912 --> 00:52:06,373 I was cleared of any wrongdoing 940 00:52:06,457 --> 00:52:08,375 in Alison Bailey's death years ago. 941 00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:10,711 The police ruled it as a suicide. 942 00:52:10,794 --> 00:52:11,879 Joanie just can't accept it. 943 00:52:11,962 --> 00:52:15,341 She needs someone to blame. 944 00:52:15,424 --> 00:52:20,346 She herself has made a series of suicide attempts, 945 00:52:20,429 --> 00:52:23,891 as you can see referenced on pages five and six. 946 00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:28,312 Ms. Lockhart, what are you doing? 947 00:52:28,395 --> 00:52:30,397 Where is it, Ben? 948 00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:32,650 ‐Where's your fucking gun? ‐There's no gun. 949 00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:34,526 He said I could kill him with it if I wanted to. 950 00:52:34,610 --> 00:52:35,944 I don't have a gun, Joanie. 951 00:52:36,028 --> 00:52:37,780 I run a therapeutic center 952 00:52:37,863 --> 00:52:40,032 for PTSD recovery. 953 00:52:40,115 --> 00:52:42,701 A gun would be a very dangerous thing 954 00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:45,371 to have on these premises, wouldn't it? 955 00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:47,164 Ms. Lockhart, is it true what he's saying? 956 00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:49,875 Are you a patient at this facility? 957 00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:52,711 - ‐No, of course not. - ‐ All right, but... 958 00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:54,213 this is your signature on this form? 959 00:52:54,296 --> 00:52:57,049 I wasn't paying attention to what I was signing. 960 00:52:57,132 --> 00:53:00,219 So you didn't read what the form said? 961 00:53:00,302 --> 00:53:02,388 You aren't listening to me. 962 00:53:02,471 --> 00:53:04,390 I'm telling the truth. 963 00:53:04,473 --> 00:53:05,273 I'm not the crazy one. 964 00:53:05,349 --> 00:53:08,268 ‐He is. ‐Okay, well, why would you sign 965 00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:09,728 something you didn't read, ma'am? 966 00:53:09,812 --> 00:53:10,896 Because I was too busy thinking about 967 00:53:10,979 --> 00:53:11,779 how I was gonna kill him. 968 00:53:14,650 --> 00:53:16,610 Mr. Cruz, do you want us 969 00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,404 to remove Ms. Lockhart from the property? 970 00:53:18,487 --> 00:53:20,447 That won't be necessary. 971 00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:22,199 Are you sure, sir? 972 00:53:22,282 --> 00:53:25,411 More than anything, right now, she needs my support. 973 00:53:25,494 --> 00:53:28,247 Sorry to have wasted your time, Officers. 974 00:53:28,330 --> 00:53:29,498 Okay. 975 00:53:41,385 --> 00:53:44,596 I'm gonna fucking kill you. 976 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,932 You can't touch me now, Joanie. 977 00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:51,061 Police are watching you now. 978 00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:53,856 You'll go to prison for the rest of your life. 979 00:53:53,939 --> 00:53:56,316 Your kids will grow up without a mother. 980 00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,402 That's not what you want, is it? 981 00:53:58,485 --> 00:54:00,612 What do you know about my kids? 982 00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:01,864 I meant what I said. 983 00:54:01,947 --> 00:54:06,452 I thought about you over the years, wondered how you were. 984 00:54:06,535 --> 00:54:08,954 Were you watching me? 985 00:54:09,037 --> 00:54:11,123 I looked you up online. 986 00:54:11,206 --> 00:54:12,124 When did you know it was me? 987 00:54:12,207 --> 00:54:15,961 When you took off your sunglasses. 988 00:54:16,044 --> 00:54:17,504 Why didn't you say something then? 989 00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:20,132 What was the point of this whole exercise? 990 00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:25,763 My mother was still breathing 991 00:54:25,846 --> 00:54:28,182 when her body went into the water. 992 00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:30,434 She didn't die in our apartment like you said she did. 993 00:54:30,517 --> 00:54:32,644 She had water in her lungs. 994 00:54:32,728 --> 00:54:34,480 She fucking drowned. 995 00:54:34,563 --> 00:54:35,272 Calm down. 996 00:54:35,355 --> 00:54:38,358 Can I get you something? A drink? 997 00:54:38,442 --> 00:54:40,152 You wanted me to call the police. 998 00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:41,487 So you could show them my signature 999 00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:45,782 and play them the tape and make me seem like a nutjob. 1000 00:54:45,866 --> 00:54:49,161 The one person left alive who knows what you did. 1001 00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:50,496 You killed her, and then you dumped her body in the water. 1002 00:54:50,579 --> 00:54:53,749 You made it look like a suicide. You used her history 1003 00:54:53,832 --> 00:54:57,127 and you set her up just like you set me up, didn't you? 1004 00:54:59,004 --> 00:55:00,088 Yes. 1005 00:55:00,172 --> 00:55:02,299 Why? 1006 00:55:02,382 --> 00:55:03,717 I didn't want to go to prison. 1007 00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,011 Oh, you're a killer. You belong in prison. 1008 00:55:06,094 --> 00:55:08,722 Oh, thou shall not kill. 1009 00:55:08,805 --> 00:55:12,309 Well... except sometimes. 1010 00:55:12,392 --> 00:55:14,186 I killed people in Afghanistan, plenty of them. 1011 00:55:14,269 --> 00:55:17,814 Some of them innocent civilians. 1012 00:55:19,149 --> 00:55:21,193 It wasn't a crime there. 1013 00:55:21,276 --> 00:55:23,529 Why should it be a crime here? 1014 00:55:24,738 --> 00:55:28,158 You took my mother from me. 1015 00:55:30,035 --> 00:55:31,495 I was a child. 1016 00:55:34,456 --> 00:55:35,541 You took her. 1017 00:55:41,571 --> 00:55:42,371 You know, 1018 00:55:42,381 --> 00:55:45,884 you are just so much like her. 1019 00:55:45,968 --> 00:55:47,886 When you showed up at my door, 1020 00:55:47,970 --> 00:55:52,099 you seemed so... strong, so tough. 1021 00:55:53,267 --> 00:55:56,270 I should have known it was a mask. 1022 00:55:56,353 --> 00:55:58,063 Just like hers. 1023 00:55:58,146 --> 00:55:59,189 You're just as sad 1024 00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:01,817 and as frightened as she was. 1025 00:56:21,003 --> 00:56:22,963 Harder. 1026 00:56:23,046 --> 00:56:24,673 Harder. 1027 00:56:24,756 --> 00:56:27,593 Oh. 1028 00:56:29,428 --> 00:56:34,266 I understand why you came here now. 1029 00:56:34,349 --> 00:56:37,394 It wasn't for Alison at all. 1030 00:56:38,895 --> 00:56:42,774 You just want someone to put you out of your pain. 1031 00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:50,490 I'm not gonna do you that favor. 1032 00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:59,791 I'm sorry for your pain, Joanie. 1033 00:56:59,875 --> 00:57:02,753 I really am. 1034 00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:07,966 But if I go away, 1035 00:57:08,050 --> 00:57:10,802 what happens to these patients? 1036 00:57:10,886 --> 00:57:12,763 They need me here. 1037 00:57:12,846 --> 00:57:16,642 You are so full of shit, and you know it. 1038 00:57:16,725 --> 00:57:18,602 I've paid for my sins. 1039 00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:23,982 I can live with myself. 1040 00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:31,865 You're the one, apparently, 1041 00:57:31,948 --> 00:57:34,076 who cannot.